Original subtitles

(KNOCKS ON DOOR)

Come in.

Hi, Eddie.

Jaz.

We got your special request.

Hmm.

Someone's

(CHUCKLES) It's good news.

What's wrong?

How many do you need?

Well, I mean,

Bigger?

Don't worry about it.

It's just that that's what we have.

No.

Nah, it's fine.

OK.

Wait.

(THEME MUSIC)

So, how do we feel

Um...

Well, you know, ethically.

Oh, yeah. No.

One of my clients

Absolutely not.

One time I had sex

and then my next client was,

But I orgasmed with him.

Was that a question or...

What if they're misogynists?

Uh, what if they want me

Or if they start crying?

What if they're really nice

And what if they're a racist?

You can say no to anyone you want.

(SOBS)

Is everything OK?

I haven't had any repeat clients.

Oh.

Um... Tui.

What's up, lass?

That sweet fat man with the sad eyes

has been in to see Amethyst,

So, I was just wondering if maybe

I don't know, less like... me.

Do you mind if I...

Lolly, everyone loves you.

Not really.

Girls think I'm silly and boys think

the second they say hello,

Are you afraid you're gonna

I was a bit but it's been fine.

I just, uh, pretend

Bet they love that.

No, I just do it in my head.

Why not?

Plenty of guys

You get super romantic with clients.

I-I get intimate

but that lovey-dovey stuff,

I'll leave that to you.

Babe, honestly,

They're coming for you.

(CALM MUSIC)

(SIGHS) Mm, fuck.

Crikey, still burning through it,

If you did want any help

motel's very quiet.

Yeah. No. I'll-I'll manage.

You know, I've been

And if there's one thing

to get ahead in business, it's...

Have a penis?

..well, yes, but... Oh, hello,

(CHUCKLES) just this way, room four.

OK.

But also be brave.

You gotta spend money to make money.

And I know that you've spent

and quite a few you don't.

But I've got this nest egg

and superannuation as of last week.

Yeah. I know. I know. The big 65.

Honestly, I don't need to fuss.

Why are you here?

You live in a country

I hate that word.

Makes me think

(PHONE RINGS)

(SIGHS)

What is her problem?

Anyway, through Sweethearts,

or even a loud one,

perhaps we could put

and blue sky some options?

Really Shark Tank it

and figure out

I've got a staff meeting.

Of course.

For staff.

For Sweetheart staff.

Oh.

How's the training going, ladies?

Well, Lolly's dirty talk

(CLEARS THROAT) Hey, big boy.

Shoot your fireman's hose

Oh.

Better, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, that's good.

We'll do another session

Thank you. OK.

We've got AgroFest,

biggest farming festival

and we all know what that means.

Oh, animal enslavement.

Sale on guns.

No, it means rich horny farmers.

Finally, some cash.

This is a chance for us

Yeah, but not

Well, what else would it be about?

Well,

and universal empowerment

Oh, my god, get fucked.

All I know is I'm gonna make bank.

Oh.

For the farmers.

Farmers work with animals.

OK. Listen. Come on, guys.

We've sacrificed a lot

and now, it's time for us

Oh, my fucking god.

You guys, I just shoved a speaker up

and now, I can't get it out.

Should we be worried?

Yep.

It is so far up

see it with a phone torch.

What? OK.

Listen, I will sort this

you, brush up on your farm

We got a problem.

What?

My thing's a butt thing.

What council thing?

They just called to say

You said this was legal.

It is.

There is nothing in the act

Oh, wait.

Oh, no. Fuck.

It's not in the act.

"Brothels operating outside

"must have neighbours' consent".

I thought we were an escort agency.

No, they only do outcalls.

Yeah, but are we outside

Yes. Because this town is tiny.

So, just find another venue in town.

Shadows moves all the time.

We're tied into a three-year lease.

Oh, that was a dumb idea.

It's not Mack's fault.

It's that cow who dobbed us in.

Fucking Sharon.

You give me five minutes with her,

(ALL CLAMOUR)

This not about fucking Sharon.

This is about us

No, this is about how I'm gonna feed

my fucking kids when we close down.

We are not closing down.

In the meantime,

anyone that wants to go home

Anyone who wants to stay

have for millennia...

Illegally?

But, yeah, illegally.

Alright, quick question

about the guy with the boom box

Yes.

But bums were made

Yeah, well, who knew that

(SIGHS)

What do we do?

I'll drive him to the hospital.

They've seen it all before,

My brother works

OK, the medical centre then.

I went there last time.

Because we're not even

Yes, thanks, Jules.

Um, I'm like

That looks so sore.

Cherry. Oh, come on, ladies.

I can see you're out there.

You're a nurse, right? Scrub up.

So, from now on,

use the back entrance.

(LAUGHS)

Amethyst. Oh.

Alright.

So, you heard back

Yes, I did. What do you want?

He's got K, MDMA, THB.

Which one's the muscle relaxant?

That's K.

Which, fun fact,

Oh, that's right.

Oh, you know

without their consent, eh?

Yes.

Could you, uh, get some

Yeah.

Do you want me

No, no, I'll pick it up.

You?

I'm not letting

OK, AgroFest just broke for lunch,

('COTTON EYE JOE' BY REDNEX PLAYS)

# If it hadn't been

# I'd been married long time ago

# Where did you come

# Where did you come

Guys, she's there.

Oh, man.

I'm so upset that we have to go

How am I gonna support my family now

that we've been shut down?

Wait, I didn't know that

Yeah, like moral support.

I'm gonna tell the cops

Quick, quick.

If anyone asks,

# If it hadn't been

# I'd been married long time ago

# Where did you come

# Where did you come

# If it hadn't been

# I'd been married long time ago

# Where did you come from

# Where did you come

Who is this big farmer

It's me.

I just can't believe

(CRIES)

# If it hadn't been

# I'd been married long time ago

# Where did you come

# Where did you come

Look at him, my old Benji.

(CRIES)

Yeah, tell me what to do.

You've been a naughty

You better tell me you'll take me

I'll take you down to vegan town.

Say it louder.

I'll take you down to vegan town.

Say it louder.

I'll take you down to vegan town.

Say it louder but quietly.

That was...

I mean, kind of...

Mm-hm.

Oh, it's just you're really cute.

Oh, really?

I mean, a lot of the ladies

Sorry.

You're really sexy.

So, you do this a bit then?

Yeah.

Can I ask why?

Unless you don't wanna

No. No. It's OK. It's OK.

It's just... I don't know.

I mean, my life's pretty ordinary.

It's just...

There's nothing ordinary

Do you wanna see me again?

Did Ayla wanna see Jondolar?

Oops.

Sorry.

You ever read

Maybe like 50 times.

At least you count the times

over the sex scenes,

Hundreds.

How do you feel about cosplay?

See you later, Olsen.

(MUTTERS HAPPILY)

Whatever you're doing in there,

Oh, maybe I'm just

Of um...

(SINGS TUNE)

Oh, well, it's working.

Need anything?

Rice pack, wheat pack, meat pack?

I got this.

Uh, excuse me.

You lost?

So sorry to hear about the closure.

Oh, yeah. I bet.

Where are your workers?

Listen, Sharon.

This is private property

and I am fully prepared

So...

What are we gonna do?

Could you go

that we talked about?

Treat?

..theory

What's going on here?

OK, so, what this is-is um...

We're brainstorming

now, that you've destroyed

(SNAPS FINGERS) Yeah.

Well, maybe your next careers

Bitch, do I look degraded?

And who are you?

That is my boyfriend

No big deal.

Hey, why don't you stay

We could, talk about, I don't know,

Or how to teach yourself to squirt?

Oh, oh, which guys

Oh, spoiler alert, it's the vegans.

What? Hey.

It's the Christians.

Yay!

I'll be calling the council again.

Bye, bitch.

(LAUGHTER)

Can I increase the song

Oh, yep.

('FUNKFESSIONS PT. 1'

Hi.

Hi.

I'm here for the goods.

You know?

Stuff. Naughty stuff.

The...

Ketamine?

Are we allowed to just say it?

(CHUCKLES) Oh, get out of town.

Sorry.

Just checking.

You are a...

Social worker.

Well,

I don't.

April fool. (CHUCKLES) Yeah.

Oi.

Well, you're deep undercover,

No-one needs a $200 pair of shoes.

NOAM (ON PHONE): (MAKES SOUNDS)

Get this thing out of me.

Oh.

Uh, just a problem

I gotta go.

Oh, my god.

And I'm better than ever.

All you have to do

Oh, my hands are so, sweaty,

and then his butthole

It's not a thing, Jaz.

Forceps?

Has anyone found

Uh, on to it.

Well, just make sure

sanitiser on his hole, OK?

'Cause I did that at a festival once

Can we just get

Give him the anaesthetic.

Oh, god.

(SNIFFS)

Oh, god. OK.

Just try and relax for me.

Oh, uh, there's a woman

Finally.

She says she's a council inspector.

What?

I'm just taking drugs.

But K is barely illegal.

I could be disbarred for this.

Rita, wait.

Face like a block of concrete?

She's in my cousin's wife's

I got this.

OK.

Thanks, Jules.

Greta, it's been an age.

We've had a complaint.

If you're talking about

she's an unreliable witness

We've heard you've been

despite our injunction.

No, what?

I'm gonna have

Now? Oh.

Uh, I can't imagine

for brothel inspection

I actually normally

Really? Lucky you.

It's my passion.

Actually, we have noticed

Really?

Clear water? Grey water?

Yeah. Just over by the driveway.

Maybe I could show you.

Alright, obviously,

Oh.

Whoo! I am feeling good.

I'm-I'm swimming through the air.

OK, you might feel

Oh, no.

I'm drowning. Yeah.

Oi, Jaz.

Butt cheeks.

(PACES NERVOUSLY)

What's wrong with her?

Might be a panic attack.

This is not a good time.

Well, because we're gonna

and then we're gonna go to court

and then we're gonna end up

and prison wives

(GROANS)

Listen, this is not a situation

Keep your voices down, please.

How bad is it?

Your entire system's backed up.

It's probably tree roots

You're gonna wanna take care

(NOISES FROM AFAR)

What was that?

Well, I didn't hear anything.

Greta?

I just wanted be good

(WEEPS)

Feel it, OK?

And...

You did fuck up

You can't ignore it, so...

..breathe with me.

(INHALES, EXHALES)

And...

And then out.

(EXHALES)

(INHALE, EXHALE)

One more in and out.

Three, two, one.

(DROPPING SOUND)

It's a girl.

(LAUGHTER)

So, what's happened here is...

No charge.

Clearly, this escort

Well, it's a brothel, actually.

Brothel, escort agency.

I still don't really know

Is it just that escorts do callouts?

Can you shut up?

None of this matters

Wait.

Your bylaws only mention brothels.

We are a brothel.

Let's get a legal opinion

A brothel does not include

if the action

And we have

So, we could use one

Right.

Yeah, yeah,

And we wouldn't need

Then you'd be working

But they're, like, only 10m apart.

Does that matter?

Doesn't say anything

Fine.

(CHEERS)

(LAUGHTER)

So, uh, that's it then?

Mm.

Besides the, um, the septic

I told her about the leak

Oh, yeah.

Faulty septic systems

Oh. We'll get that fixed.

I think you've got a cracked tank.

Hope not.

That'd be 25, 30Ks to replace.

And if it's not cracked?

Oh. Could be the pump itself.

Maybe only 15K.

Mm, better get onto it

Only.

('DAY ONE' BY JESSB PLAYS)

# So, if you been rolling with

# Put yo hands in the air yeah

# Share ya love right

# Top fam, yeah we so fuckin A-1

# This is for my day ones

Hey.

This is not the celebration face.

I know that something is annoying

but it's not like

because we're just leasing.

Reliable for repairs.

What? Why?

Because Sandy knew

# You won't be kicking with us

# Sticking with my posse

# And we ain't keen...

# But he'll figure... Like tommy

# We stick together

# Misunderstood, but we on that

# They been mine, I been there's

Christ. Goddamn it!

(SLAMS DOOR)

Shut up, you stupid septic shit,

Why does everything wrong?

(SIGHS)

Alright.

It's OK.

Where's Mack?

Oh, that woman putting herself

She's just taking some time out.

Oh, there you are.

Not just because of the fresh poo

If only I hadn't said

I know there's nothing

Actually, uh...

there is if you still want

You mean, like,

Co-owners.

But think about it.

It's a lot of money

(GASPS)

Oh, we need champagne.

(CHUCKLES)

(LAUGHS)

(CAR REVS UP)

# I try to take it as a joke

# But my heart goes up in smoke

# When you push me, tease me low

# I wonder if you know

# Now everybody looks at me

# Like everything I've ever said

# Has still gotta be true

# But nothing is as easy to forget

# As what you never really knew

# Now you make me feel

# Low brow

# Take me down

# You never look sorry

# Low brow

# Take me down

# You never look sorry

# Low brow

# Take me down

# You never look sorry

# You never look sorry, huh

# Fold, fold

# You put me in my place

# Just want your body heat

# Mould me into you

# Just hold me closer than

# You know how to Fold, fold

# You put me in my place

# Where it's Cold, cold

# Just want your body.. #