Original subtitles

Day all night when we go to Matthew's all -night barbecue.

Why do you guys always buy the T -shirts?

And why do you always buy them before we eat?

Better question, why does Ray always get meat crazy and then threaten to fire

anybody who leaves early?

Or anyone who tries to order a salad, T -Pain.

It was the pulled pork sandwich with coleslaw.

It has lettuce at the salad.

Yeah, dog, salad shamer.

Wait.

over a girl just now?

When? I can barely see anything.

Oh, yeah.

Girl. I told you.

Does anybody have a power?

Who are you here?

I'm looking for Captain Man.

Captain Man?

What, in a junk store?

That's crazy.

Right, guys?

And I'm not unchaining myself until I do.

Ah, look, I'm sorry, little girl, but obviously none of us are Captain Man. I

mean, look at us.

Well, I mean, I could be Captain Man.

Yes, but you're not. No, no, I'm just saying if any of us could be Captain

obviously it would be... Me.

No. I'm okay.

Shut your filthy mouth, Schwartz.

What makes you think that Captain Man would be in front of this random store?

Someone on the internet plotted the locations of all of Captain Man's

divided them by the response time, and used doodle maps to determine that he

must live somewhere near this store.

If

you

need to talk to Captain Man, why don't you call his hotline?

I can't.

Sure you can. 24 hours. I don't have a phone, okay?

I'm phoneless.

You poor thing.

Phonelessness is a big problem here in Swellville. No, I know.

Tell us how this

happened.

My name?

It's Lula Elena Choppa De Silva.

Oh, I'm going to call you Tammy.

Call me Choppa. Okay.

I once had a phone.

It was my first.

It was beautiful, and I loved it.

I still remember my first phone.

My phone and I went everywhere together.

We were so happy.

But then, a boy...

Stole it.

He said he wanted to video chat a puppy.

I believed him.

I was so young.

When did this happen?

Last month.

That's not that long ago.

Since then, I've walked from town to town looking for

el chico que robó mi phone.

What? Oh.

The boy who stole my phone. Right.

That's cool. Well,

that's all very terrible.

Good luck finding your lollipop, Sammy. My name is Tromba. Hey, don't you get

your chain, man.

Tromba! Hey,

we'll get down on some more barbecue, huh?

Give me five minutes to hose off our back.

We can't just leave this girl chained up at our store.

She'll leave.

Come on!

I'm going to attract a lot of attention. Please.

No one in Swellview is going to care about this girl and her phone.

Swellview cares about this girl and her phone.

Huh?

First time in my life I've ever been wrong about anything.

Blessings in disguise.

The last election.

News.

of Swellview is rallying behind Lula Elena Chapa de Silva, whose phone was

stolen by a boy.

It's gone.

KLBY's own Mary Gaberman has even taken a vow of silence, promising not to speak

until Captain Mann agrees to help track down the thief.

That's right, Trent.

Oh, Mary, you're not supposed to talk. And I won't.

Until the phone is found.

Vow of silence.

Sweet butter biscuits, Mary. Sometimes I think you're... The story's not going

away. You should help her.

No.

Superheroes don't care about missing phones.

Looks like Kid Danger does.

Thank you, Mary. And good luck with that vow.

I'm here with Kid Danger. Who cares?

I sure do, Brian.

And where is Captain Man?

I don't know.

I guess he doesn't care.

Get me some burnt toast.

What? Yeah, what? Yeah, what?

Yeah, what?

Burnt toast!

Kid Danger, you've just committed to helping this girl find her phone no

what it takes.

That's right.

So tell us, what's your perfect Sunday?

Wow. Uh, great question, Brian.

Um, I love a good brunch.

Time out, time out, time out, time out.

Hi, hello, hi, how's it going? Time in. What are you doing here? Sorry I'm late.

I was stopping a meteor from destroying the Earth, which you can see by my face.

You smell like burnt toast.

That's what meteors smell like. Well, that can't be true. Well, you weren't

there. Well, you're an idiot, so... Captain Man, will you commit right here

right now to help this girl find her phone?

Brian. I would commit murder.

Don't do it.

That's just how committed I am.

Dude, that's burnt toast.

It's a piece of meteor.

Oh, my gosh. Okay, I'm out. Where are you going? Are you walking away? Are you

afraid of the facts?

Are you afraid of science?

You're not a meteor, huh, bud?

Space fact, meteors can be sliced.

It all just kind of happened. I wanted an after -school job, but then an

indestructible superhero hired me to be his sidekick.

Now we blow bubbles and fight crime.

Feels good.

I'll chain myself to the tube pad like that girl up in Junk and Stuff.

Gonna stay here until Ray responds to my list of demands.

I was talking to Schwoz. I don't care what you're doing.

Well, Ray's gonna care.

Okay, you know how pineapples are great, but they're too hard to peel. Tell me

about it. There's gotta be a better way.

There is. They tell peelers at every grocery store that work on that. The

possible solution is to crossbreed a pineapple with a banana to make a

Anyone know where Ray is? This chain's starting to get chafe -y.

Ray and Henry are up in junk and stuff.

They tracked down that package thief that glitter -bombed them about a month

ago. Why?

Well, he's friends with a lot of other thieves around town.

They think he might know something about Choppa's stolen cell phone.

Okay, well, they better hurry up, because I've got a list of demands.

You guys want to hear them? No!

I do not.

Demand number one. A demand to be heard.

Come on!

I'm a pet!

Tell us what you know! Tell us what you know!

And then she says...

I'm not your lawyer. I'm your wife.

Anyway, I know you didn't bring me here to just tell me hilarious interrogation

stories. Right you are, buddy.

Mucho correcto.

Little girl lost her dog in a ball pit or something.

It was my phone, and it was stolen.

Was he not paying attention when I told the story? He tends to zone out when his

name isn't mentioned. Isn't that right, Captain Man?

What's that? I zoned out.

I was just explaining to Choppa, Captain Man, that Brandon here is a thief,

Captain Man. What's up? But he might know where her phone is, Captain Man.

Yes, what do you know about a lost dog? Stolen phone, Captain Man.

Phone.

Sorry, I don't steal phones. That's for scumbags.

Right. But I do buy stolen phones from scumbags.

And I think another guy just stole it. Where?

Look, lady, I can't just tell you. Okay, there's a code

among thieves. We can't just give out each other's numbers to strangers.

But whatever, I'll tell you.

It's 555 -0069.

Why aren't any of you writing this down?

You got it right. Whatever, I'll start over. Okay.

It's 555 -0069. Zero.

Thick.

Nine.

Still not writing anything down.

Okay. While you guys were playing cards, I set up a meeting to buy the stolen

phone. Noice.

You cursed suckers!

Wow,

thanks, friend.

So, When is this phone thief going to be here?

He said he won't bring a stolen phone inside City Limits, so he wants to meet

that desert area between Swellview and Neighborville.

No man's land?

Oh, smart.

No laws out in no man's land, so anything goes.

Wait, how do you know about no man's land?

Oh, I used to sell knockoff Captain Man keychains out there. Made bank.

Still got some, actually, if anyone's interested.

I'm oh so good.

Yeah,

I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you. Give it.

It's an unlicensed product.

Goes in the knockoff bin.

I'm oh so good.

Get her done.

Made bank off of those two.

Now let's go home.

Dude, get down.

We've been hiding here for two whole minutes.

I'm bored.

for five days. You can't take two minutes.

My time's more valuable than yours.

Two of my minutes are like ten of your days. Are you serious? Yeah, I'm

You're giving me rashes.

Someone's coming.

Someone's coming. Push the button. Push the button. Push it. Push it.

Is that him?

Is that the boy that stole your phone?

I can't tell.

Good enough for me. Let's melt this face and go on. Wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait.

Creep a little closer.

That's no man.

A toddler.

And don't call me baby.

Don't act like a baby, and I won't have to, baby.

Chop it with the fire clapback.

That clapback was not fire.

It was straight fire. It was water at best.

Take the helmet, dude. I will not take the helmet.

Toddler! You have left your skippy cup in my automobile.

Well, bring it over here.

I know that voice, too.

Yeah, it's... Dr. Mania. Dr. Mania. Dr. Mania. Dr. Mania.

Dr. Mania.

Dr. Mania. Dr. Mania.

Dr. Mania.

Dr. Mania.

Dr. Mania. Dr. Mania. Dr.

Mania. Dr.

Mania. Dr.

Mania.

Huh?

Ah. That is an unrighteous fudge pot.

Now it's face melting time. Wait, wait, wait.

Let's just stay here and see if any more bad guys show up.

If someone can just sign right here. Oh, I'll do it.

Sorry, I need an adult to sign for it.

Every stinking time.

I shall be the designated signatory.

But first I have to pee.

All right.

Be quick about it. Yeah.

Go pee on those bushes.

Beef, avert your eyes, everyone, while I water the desert with my... No, no,

no, no.

Evening.

Okay, just give us it in that tube and I promise no one's going to get hurt.

Hey, hey, no need to hurt me. I am just the messenger.

Shoot him. No, don't shoot the messenger.

Someone just give me my phone back. What are you talking about?

Could you be more specific?

The phone, it's in the tube.

We want it.

Now, wait just one second. There's no phone in the tube.

Yeah, go on, show them.

These are blueprints.

For an Omega weapon that would destroy Captain... Man.

Well, now I want those plants.

Yeah, I would also like those plants.

Still want my phone.

Well, come and get it.

And by it, I mean a thrashing.

A tolly whooping.

A tom thumping.

A two -fisted toodaloo.

Not tonight, maniac.

Get ready to eat.

where we want them.

That's my silly string. Don't waste it. Why do you have silly string?

Because regular string is boring.

That's it. That's it.

Yes.

I can't hang.

It's an expression.

Relax, Tammy.

Hey,

take

a picture of me waving my butt in a toddler's face.

Yeah, it's funny because it's disrespectful.

She doesn't have a phone, dude.

All right.

Forgot.

You guys have been a big help.

See you around.

Where'd your bat come from?

Where you going, Tammy?

Where you going, Chopper?

I'm going to find the boy who stole my phone.

What?

You're just going to walk after him?

Yes.

That kid could be anywhere by now.

Then anywhere is where I'll go.

All right.

All right, then.

That didn't make any sense, did it? Nope.

New ringtone?

Yeah, sorry.

No, no, no, wait, wait, wait.

It's kind of nice.

Just call my phone. Oh, yeah.

Good idea.

Thank you. Call Kid Danger.

Calling Kim Danvers.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Hey,

Dranger. I never thought you'd call me again.

Neither did I.

Did Schwoz ever combine that pineapple and banana?

Yeah, but you don't want one, dude.

Yeah, that fly got into the mixing cage and turned it into a freak of nature.

Bring it over. I want to see. Just take those chains off and get one yourself.

No, I am staying right here until Ray meets my demands. There's nothing anyone

can do to make me move.

What do you make of those blueprint, Schwoz?

That weapon.

Really destroy me? I don't know what they're talking about. These blueprints

aren't for an Omega weapon. They're for a toaster.

Dude, can a toaster destroy you? I don't know.

But tomorrow, we should destroy all the toasters and swell you just to be safe.

There's some kind of weird stain on here.

So, my demand.

I demand that you let me finish my sentence. Hey, how was your date with

Danvers last night?

Waffle. In fact, I'm going to delete her number right now.

There's no way I'm going to call Kim Danvers again.

Calling Kim Danvers again.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Hey.

Hi, Kim.

Again.

Call you back.