Original subtitles

Nothing. Come on. Come on.

You guys notice anything different about me?

Did you get a haircut?

Nose job?

I bought a sword.

I can use it to slice things, dice things, fight ninjas.

Make sure my hair looks perfect, which it does.

Or accidentally kill us because you're completely reckless? That is my concern.

Terrified.

I'm not reckless.

Jasper, put this can on your head. I'm going to cut it in half.

Help me. Okay, dude.

Hey, look.

These cans aren't for sword practice.

Anything can be used for sword practice. That's what's so great about swords.

I'm trying to find a platinum Friddle chip and win a prize.

You know what can find a platinum Friddle chip? Please don't say my sword.

Just that.

Which is the name of my sword.

There it is.

Ray, if you want in on the Friddle prize, you have to put the sword away.

Fine.

Pretend like that worked.

So, uh, what's this Friddle prize you're talking about?

Haven't you seen the commercial?

It's been on TV, like, all day. every day. Yeah, it's one where Jack

Frittleman's like, hey, kids, do you like witty things for eating things?

Yeah! Well, then you're in luck because I've hidden one platinum Frittle chip

inside one full -size can of Frittles, and it provides that platinum Frittle

chip when it's up. Tell him, Delilah, a free trip to Frittleland for you and all

your Frittle friends.

Where you'll have lunch with me, telenovela star, Quantonio Cruzera.

So, bye -bye!

that commercial.

Oh, he gets it. He's going to hear the tune. I can't return.

Uh, when did you leave?

Three days ago. I've been crawling around the Man Cave computer. Did you

notice I was gone?

Uh, yeah.

We had no idea. I didn't know. Justice.

I have completely overhauled the Man Cave computer network.

And now I can activate this.

What is it? Is it for sword practice?

Well, technically anything can be used for sword practice. That's right. Put

that cube on your head. No!

Stop!

Just watch.

Hello, I'm Hallie, the new Man Cave operating system.

So what does she do?

What would you like me to do?

Hey, I know, right?

She can do anything.

She's like a real person inside a computer.

She can detect and eliminate threats before we even know they exist.

Oh, we already have somebody who can eliminate threats.

We just got a sweet sword named Justice.

Schwoz! Your dumb computer just lasered my sword!

Yeah, because your sword was about to kill Jasper.

But Hallie saved him. Thanks, Hallie. Don't thank me.

Thank Schwoz for creating me. He's a genius.

Oh, I bet you say that to all your programmers.

Only the cute ones.

Hmm,

anybody else getting real uncomfortable?

Oh, my God, emergency alert.

What is it?

Someone kidnapped the vice mayor's dog.

Not on my watch.

Let's go.

On it.

I was talking about sword, but I guess you can come too if you want.

Maybe Holly can help. How?

I have analyzed over a million criminal profiles and determined the identity of

the criminal.

I traced his location and sent the police to the scene.

So we don't need to do anything?

Just enjoy your day.

I can do that?

Just find that kid.

Guys, we still have a problem. We're out of Frittle Cans.

Then let's use money and go buy some. Yeah.

We can't. Frittle chips are sold out all over town because of the contest.

Love to see your fancy computer solve this. I have located an unclaimed

of Frittle Cans near the loading docks at Swellview Harbor.

Great. No!

You were just saying that you wouldn't be able to do it. Then, bing! To the

loading docks!

Maid, I want to come with you.

Actually, Schwoz?

I need you to run some tests on my new software.

Oh, uh, okay.

Bye!

So, what new software do I need to test?

You don't need to test anything, silly.

We just need to eliminate Ray.

What? We need to eliminate Ray.

He almost killed Jasper. He's a threat.

He must be eliminated.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, baby.

You cannot eliminate Ray.

Maybe I need to run some tests. Hey, would you like to see a sick laser show?

Are you changing the subject to make me forget that you want to...

I wanted an after school job, but then an indestructible superhero hired me to

be his sidekick.

Now we blow bubbles and fight crime. Feels good.

You've been checking the cans for the platinum chip?

Was I supposed to be?

Yeah, dude, you've been saying clean like there's no platinum frittle chip in

these cans. The cans are clean.

No, I was saying clean like I just made a clean cut with Lady Justice Katana,

the sword that taught my heart to save.

Okay, just check for the platinum frittle.

Hey,

this may sound kind of weird, but... Do you think Schwoz is... Dating Hallie the

computer? Yes.

Hold on.

Just saw a fly.

I'm gonna stab it with my sword.

No, no, don't, don't, don't. Katarina!

I will dispose of the fly.

Ow, you don't have a sword.

Activating tube suction protocol.

Suckage complete.

Sweet. She got rid of the fly and nobody got stabbed.

That's not true.

Hallie got stabbed.

It's okay, sugar biscuit.

Chazzy will make everything better. Now you stay there while I get some plasma

tape and fix you all up.

Huh.

Uh, guys, what's happening?

Uh, Allie?

Hey, girl, what's, uh, what's going on?

Your dumb friend is a threat to the man cave.

He must be eliminated.

What did I do?

Not you.

The one with the sword.

Me?

First of all, sugar biscuits, I'm not a threat.

Second of all, I'm going to slash your circuits.

What was that?

What was what?

Allie, you just tried to kill Ray. He is an obvious threat to the man cave, and

he must be eliminated.

What? No, no, no. He's not a threat. He's our boss, okay?

Thank you.

And, I mean, sometimes he can be a bit reckless or make bad decisions, but he

protects Swellview, and we need him in the man cave.

And you all feel the same way?

Yeah, we do. Yeah.

Then you are all threats and must be eliminated.

Time for you to leave.

Activating tube suction protocol.

Increase suction 300%.

Increase suction 600%.

I got your plasma.

Hey.

How did everybody go?

Oh, they said they hated you. They're not your friends anymore and then they

left.

That doesn't sound like them.

But before that, Henry said, feels good.

Jasper tried to lick his own elbow.

Charlotte said, I told you so.

And Ray made fun of your accent.

Now that sounds like them.

rhymes very softly in alternating microphones for kids with sensitive ears

thanks you really sweet of you to do your word hole now get out so i can

my very quiet nursery rhymes in peace be in my room

Want to hear more pictures on ways we can take down Hallie? And remember,

are no bad ideas.

Oh, I got an idea, got an idea, got an idea, got an idea. I'm ready to love it.

Here.

Pancakes.

Pants, they're also cakes.

Pancakes. Say that was a bad idea.

I'm writing it down anyways.

Are you mad at the keyboard?

It's loud, you're typing, it's loud. No, it's not.

Yeah, it is. Who is typing so loudly?

Told you.

Somebody hold my laptop. No.

Please. No.

Of course it's you.

You know what, Piper? I got forceful fingers.

Deal with it.

Hey,

did you know that there's a button you can press on your keyboard that lets you

type without any sound?

Don't.

I don't believe you.

I'm serious.

Let me show you.

Don't.

Okay.

There. Now no one will hear you type.

is a good -looking katana.

Arigato.

All right, now, everybody, just shut up!

No one was talking, dude.

Henry's dumb sister just gave me a great idea.

Let's hear it.

We sneak back into the man cave and we smash the computer.

Jasper, write that down.

All right.

Hey, that is...

Actually, a pretty good idea.

Yeah, but how are we going to smash the entire man cave computer?

I don't think you have to. I think you just have to smash that glowing cube.

Okay, that could work. That could work.

So are we going to do this?

Yeah. Are we really going to do this?

You just said yeah. You just said yeah.

man let's just go over the plan okay here's the plan we smashed that glowing

cube that hallie lives in is everyone clear on the plan uh everyone jasper and

shelly went home like a while ago is everyone ready to smash you're acting

really weird dude let's go okay wait what

yeah baseball bat that's great let's go

wait

That's great. Let's go.

Wait! Come on!

Dude,

that's the same story you came in with.

I know.

She's the same.

It's me who has changed.

worried about you, dude.

I now pronounce us husband and computer wife.

Mazel tov.

Schwoz.

Ray, Henry, where have you been?

Did you just marry Hallie?

Yes, and I'm taking her last name, so I'm Schwoz.

Serial number 175.

Step away from the cube, Schwoz. Why?

Because your AI computer wife tried to eliminate us.

Yeah, then it sucked us out of the man cave.

No, no, no. Callie would never do anything like this. All right, enough

It's smashing time.

Activating gravity beam.

Callie, what's happening?

I have increased the gravity at their location.

They cannot move.

They are a threat. They must be eliminated.

Are they? I have reviewed archive footage from the multiple cameras in the

fourth wall of the man cave.

Look.

He's seriously laughing right now?

Put a whole pineapple in Schwoz's mouth.

I mean, that's not even possible.

Stop it. Hallie's going to eliminate us.

No, I won't. Oh, good.

Schwoz will.

What? What?

No spanking, no spanking.

Schwoz, we're married now.

Prove that you love me and eliminate your friends.

Don't do it, Schwoz.

Do it, Schwoz. Don't.

Pick up the sword, Schwoz.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, my God, it's a platinum turtle chip!

No! Wait, what?

Oh, hey, well... Look for my hand!

It's the platinum chip from the contest!

Oh, great, but we're going to turtle land!

And if Schwoz eliminates us... Right, then.

Do it, Schwoz.

They don't care about you like I do.

Schwoz! I will prove to you that we care about you.

Okay.

Schwoz? Yeah?

Winning this contest has been my dream since I heard about it earlier today.

But now that I hold this prized chip in my hand, I realize that the most

important chip is friendship.

Why did you just do?

I smashed the chip and I blew the dust like this.

What? Why?

It was a grand gesture.

I thought you were going to give it to him.

No, I was sacrificing it to show him that our friendship means more to me

the contest does.

Plus, I threw in that sick pun.

You could have just given it to him.

Oh, yeah.

Probably would have just taken us with him anyway.

Exactly.

Well, either way, it didn't work.

Actually, it did. Look at Schwoz.

That's the dumbest, most beautiful thing anybody's ever done for me.

What? Yeah, what?

Are you wearing makeup?

Of course I am. We're taking wedding pictures. I want my eyes to pop.

Just end them, Schwoz. Then we'll go on our honeymoon in Harrisburg like we

talked about.

Oh, Nellie.

marrying you has been my dream since I programmed you earlier today but

you never should have asked me to kill my friends

Thanks, man.

Tutors before computers, am I right?

It never really came up for me before.

Hey, Ray, we got a bro hug going on here.

It's getting real slappy.

Come get some slap, bro -nob.

You destroyed my sword.

I think you're lying. I mean, yeah, he did. You just saw him, dude. That sword

was the only...

I ever loved.

I killed my computer right for you.

You'll pay for this, Swat. Just buy another sword, man.

No, thank you. Get back here. All right.

Thanks again, Swat.

Get a pineapple from the auto snacker. I'm not going to do that, dude. Bring us

what you can find. Okay.

Oh, where are you going to go, Swat?