Original subtitles

Yes, come on, Henry. Finish her.

It's finally going to dethrone the queen. Finish her.

Dude, that was right in my ear.

I'm going to do it.

Wait, what's happening?

No, no, no, no. Wait.

Run,

Henry. Run, Henry.

I was just about to beat you.

Well, sometimes the cat likes to play with the mouse before she kills it.

Yeah, well, sometimes the cat hurts the mouse's feelings.

All right, Charlotte.

They've proven you can defeat boy hair.

Let's see how you do against fully grown man hair.

Bye -bye.

Hey, has anybody seen the big toenail clippers?

What?

Are you drying yourself with a rabbit?

Yes. Okay.

I'll just ask the obvious question here. Why?

Yeah, why? Why not use towels?

Because I sent all of our towels to the cleaners and they all got stolen.

Oh, yeah.

Our towels got stolen, too.

Same with us.

We haven't had towels in my house in years.

You're getting rabbit water all over the man floor.

Sorry. Sorry.

No, don't... Okay,

maybe we should track down whoever's stealing these towels.

I don't care about a towel thief.

We fight real crime, okay? We do important things.

Heroic things.

Now, can I please get back to beating a teenage girl in a video game? Thank you.

Okay. Bear, prepare.

Round two.

And... Fight!

Oh, okay.

How do you, uh... Hang on.

If I can just, uh... Why am I on fire? Finish him!

Pause,

pause, pause, pause, pause. Uh, emergency alert. Uh, game over. Don't

What? Dude, I was just about to beat you. Guess we'll never know.

Uh, Schwoz, who needs saving?

Someone is carrying a large load of towels into an abandoned laundromat in

old washing district.

Oh, well, we've got to deal with this towel situation right away.

Uh, I thought you said that you didn't care about the towel thief.

Uh, that was then. This is now.

People change.

Read a book.

Come on, kid.

Let's pop some gum so you don't have to lose the charlotte.

Chum.

What's a battle suit?

Oh, battle suits. I just invented them last night in the tub.

Sorry, what did you say?

Whoa!

It's still wet.

What does a battle suit do?

Well, it makes you stronger, makes you punch harder.

And it kind of smells like French vanilla.

Woo!

Uh, Schwoz, this is cute, but I don't know if you know this, but I'm a

superhero. I have a superpower.

I also have a superpower.

See, I'm indestructible. I have super fast reflexes. And we both smell pretty

nice on our own. We smell good.

Damn, that's really gotten cocky lately.

What? Cocky. You know, overconfident, big ego, full of yourself, compensating.

know what cocky means.

And by the way, it isn't cocky if it's true.

Fact.

Come on, Kid Danger.

Let's go fight some crime.

Are you okay?

I'm just doing some pre -fight push -ups, you know, like I always do. Never

you do them before.

Push -up contest!

Let's go.

I wanted an after -school job, but then an indestructible superhero hired me to

be his sidekick.

Now we blow bubbles and fight crime.

Feels good.

Which is why, if you part your hair in the same place every time, eventually,

will fall off.

Wait, dude, are you serious?

That's what happened to Schwoz.

Wow.

Okay, yeah, so this is the place. I was thinking for the plan. Hey, let's just

go in there and do a little free -form jazz fighting.

I'm sorry, what?

You know, jazz fighting. I'll go in there and be like...

I think Charlotte's right.

No.

About what?

You know, maybe maybe getting a little too cocky. Oh, please.

Come on. I'm the least cocky person on the planet.

I'm like the LeBron James of being humble. Right.

Yeah. No, you're right. You're right. Let's go pound this clown. Yeah, all

right. Here we go.

Sorry.

I'll call her back. Take it. We got time.

I'll go warm up.

Talk to me.

Did you just say talk to me?

Uh, I mean, uh, what's up?

Do you have any towels at work?

Uh, why?

Because there's hardly any. any towels left in Swellview, so people are selling

them online for a lot of money. I can only find one stinking towel in our

house.

Piper, have you seen my world's best dad's towel towel?

Um, yeah, I think it's in the backyard.

That's where I left it.

So, do you have any towels or not?

Um, yeah.

I can get you some towels.

I can get you a lot of towels.

Really? Yeah. Listen, I'll tell you what. I'll be home in like half an hour.

20 minutes?

15 minutes.

Great. See you in 15 minutes.

Goodbye.

Yeah, this guy's pretty big, dude.

So what?

The bigger they are, the louder they cry.

Yeah, you're right. Full bend.

I can't get away from my towel. Yeah, I heard you. But listen to this.

Captain Man.

I did not think this was going to happen.

Okay.

So you can manhandle a kid.

But just try to throw me through a window.

I did not think that was going to happen either.

We might need a plan.

Plan might be good.

Okay, here's the plan.

You go back in there.

I'm going to think around the back, try to find another door. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You're the indestructible one, and I'm pretty good at finding other doors.

That's debatable.

Oh, look, he's right here.

Look, buddy, you may be huge, but I'm indestructible, all right? So this is

going to end... Is that hairspray? Because there's a very specific brand I

use.

What's happening?

I can't feel my arms and legs.

Why can't I move?

What did you spray it with?

Flabber gas.

Makes your muscles all flabby. Well, do you have any back to normal gas?

No.

But maybe there's some down in the sewer.

Unlikely.

Oh, I see. That's a clever way of saying you're going to throw me in the sewer.

Man, this is not my day.

I'm sorry, what's your name?

Barge. The name's Barge.

Why are you stealing all these towels, dude?

Don't tell him. He doesn't deserve to know.

I'm so sorry. Who are you talking to?

My boss.

King of all towels.

Bring more towels to your king.

Mr. Dryness.

My talking towel says you should let him go.

How am I doing?

You are shockingly bad at this game.

the music helps me fight better get your hand off me i'm gonna set the bag i

know that then how could that be my hand okay fine fall for it i'm back did you

find rain henry yeah they're fine no we're not fine we were thrown through a

window i also lost my car key we are the

orders from a towel.

We can't move our bodies.

Because Bard sprayed us with Flabbergast.

Flabbergast? Yeah.

But that's almost impossible to find.

How would a low -level towel thief get some Flabbergast?

Who cares? Just fix us.

Yeah, can you fix us, Schwoz? Yeah, of course.

Yes! If I had a can of Flabbergast... No!

Charlotte, please pick up my arm and use it as a smack, Schwoz.

to scratch my head because I'm confused.

Oh, God, it's her lecture voice.

Well, if you don't want to listen to my lecture, you are free to get up and walk

away. Ah, yes, queen. High five, because we can use our arms.

Here's what I don't understand.

I thought that you guys were superheroes with superpowers.

Henry, don't listen. She's using our words against us. Wait, wait, wait,

She might be on to something.

God, it's already working.

if you guys weren't so cocky that you would have beaten barge and wouldn't

ended up all smelly and flabby on beanbags you don't know that dude you

what she's right but what are we gonna do now okay barge is out there stealing

towels and we can't do anything about it because we can't even move charlotte

can you come help me beat this guy i can't do it

Before you come into work tomorrow, I'm going to need you to go down the sewer.

My car key.

It's got a Felix the Cat keychain. No, dude.

Schwoz is making his idea face.

He is? Yeah. That's great.

Yeah. Is he making the idea noise?

He's making the noise, dude.

Yeah, I have an idea.

Yeah, Schwoz.

Go get your motion capture suit.

Where's your idea, dude? Where are you going?

Where'd you go?

Well,

I didn't find my world's best dad's towel towel, but I did find this bush,

isn't drying me at all.

Wait, what are all you damp people doing in my kitchen?

We're here to buy towels.

That girl said she had towels to sell, but I don't see any towels.

Listen,

I understand your frustration, and I want you to know that your murmurs are

important to us.

Hey, there's my towel.

I'll give you $100 for it. No, my towel. It says, World's Best Dad's Towel, and

I bought it for myself as a Father's Day gift.

Do I hear $200?

Yes. I'll give you $200.

$250.

Yeah, are we paired yet? Why can't we move? What is taking so long?

It was more difficult than I thought to modify my battle suits to receive a

signal from the suit Jasper and Charlotte were wearing. How do you do

I could explain it to you, but Charlotte's the only one smart enough to

understand.

Hey! Is Charlotte so smart?

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

If this works.

Then you two can control Captain Man and Kid Danger just like you control the

bear and hair in the video game.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they can send us to find Barge and make him throw in

the towel.

Ooh, that's good. Remember that when we get there.

Ooh, something's happening.

Whoa.

What?

Whoa. Oh, okay. This is so cool.

Whoa. We're one in the same.

Let's not get carried away.

This is a bad time to therapy pee.

It's a very... bad time. Then I will not say it.

Okay, watch this.

It's crazy.

Wait, these battle suits make you super strong, right? Yeah.

What are you doing?

Whoa! That was awesome.

Look at me.

I'm a superhero.

Taste my fist and melt my...

You're not a superhero.

Raise your hand if you think Jasper's a superhero.

Jasper, please put my hand down.

Okay.

Dang it!

Ray and Henry should be approaching the laundromat now.

Yeah, we can see everything through the cameras on their mat.

I'm a superhero. Come on!

Schwoz, I would like to trade.

I do not want Jasper controlling me anymore.

Charlotte,

walk me over to see if Barge is inside.

Okay.

But I smashed everything.

I still can't find any more towels.

I can see him.

Wow, he's really talking to a towel, isn't he?

Yes, your dryness.

Ray, check it out. Barge is inside and he's talking to me.

I hate my life.

Jasper quit it.

Oh, is it time for fighting?

Yes.

Now, last time, we didn't have a plan.

That's right, kid, we didn't. But this time, we do have a plan.

Jasper!

You don't need to worry about that debargery.

Yeah, but what you do need to worry about is our fists!

You're going to need all those towels to wipe this punch off your face.

To anyone who's listening, this would be the part where we normally start

fighting.

Now where'd they go? Charlotte, can you take control for me?

You got me?

Well, gas again.

my body back i'm a superhero chopper you've got to stop saying that no i

i'm a superhero

Here, dry your tears.

Well, hello there.

Look at your jaunty crown.

I think I'll call you the King of Towels.

At your service, my lord.