Original subtitles

I'm going as fast as I can.

Hey, what about forks? Yes, definitely hide the forks. You can kill a person

with a fork.

What?

Mom?

Dad? What? I just want to know what you guys are doing.

Well, you know how Piper signed up for that weekend ski trip with a bunch of

kids from her class?

Yeah, sure.

That's why me and Henry are having a boys weekend together.

Hey, can you not call us boys?

But we are boys.

Bad boys.

Anyway, what's the problem with Piper's ski trip?

Well, you know her friend, that girl Gnarly?

Uh, yeah.

Well, Gnarly's mom called to tell us that the other kids all left on the ski

trip without Piper.

What? Why?

They didn't want her to go.

Well, what did Piper say?

We haven't told her yet.

We're trying to hide everything dangerous first.

When did we stop being boys?

Hank! Yeah?

Let's make Henry tell her. Oh, right.

Uh, no, no, no, no, no. There's no way I'm telling Piper. Tell me what?

To God, she has ski poles.

Okay, why do you all look so freaked out?

Freaked out? What? Me?

No. I'm not freaked out.

No. No.

Honey,

I really think it's your place to tell Piper what... I'll get it.

Did the doorbell ring? I heard no doorbell. The doorbell did not ring.

Oh, hey, sure.

I'd love to go to the ballgame.

Coward!

Mom!

What's up?

Well, honey, uh...

See, uh, your brother has something to tell you.

Ugh, hang on.

I just got a video message from Gnarly.

Ooh, yeah, you should watch that.

Yeah, I'm gonna.

Piper, if you're watching this video, we're already gone.

Gone?

Why?

You're probably wondering why.

temper you know it's like every time something doesn't go your way you freak

and you yell and scream and it's just not fun to be around she's not wrong

anyway we don't mean to hurt your feelings it's just that we don't want

around

Piper, are you okay, honey?

I just, I didn't know that my friends don't like me.

Piper, careful.

It could be a trick.

Here you go.

Now

listen,

your friends, they like you.

The only thing they don't like is when you get mad and you start yelling and

having temper tantrums. He's right, baby.

People hate that.

Yes, you can.

Look, one of my teachers made this kid in my class, Mitch Bilski, go to JAM

class. Oh, I love making JAM. Mom, please.

See, JAM stands for Junior Anger Management.

It can help you learn how to control your angry feelings.

Really? Yeah.

Hey, where's the switch for the light above the sink? Jasper. Not now, okay?

Sweetie?

Think you might want to go to jam class?

I think I need to go.

Oh,

it

all just kind of happened. I wanted an after school job, but then an

indestructible superhero hired me to be his sidekick.

we blow bubbles and fight crime.

Feels good.

Got it. Up the tube.

Oh, my boots.

Junior Anger Management.

It's important.

And as we all learned in last week's jam class, getting mad stands for what?

Anyone?

Does it stand for... Incorrect.

Mad stands for... My attitude is dangerous.

Now say it with me.

My...

Attitude is dangerous.

All right.

Hi, she's here for junior anger management.

Class started ten minutes ago.

Right, sorry.

Her name is Piper Hart. Hey! Why are those turds interrupting our jam class?

Sit down, Naomi.

I'm too angry to sit.

Then squeeze your bulb. Squeeze!

Your bulb.

Breathe it in.

Good. Now sit down.

Sure thing, Mr. Kelvin.

Whoa! What just came out of her neck?

She's wearing an aroma collar.

What's that?

It's a collar connected to a canister filled with... Cactus fluid, eucalyptus,

ginger, honeysuckle, and rabbit urine, which all mix together and form a

mist. Ah, special mist.

Yes, and when a person breathes it in, he or she instantly feels a sensation of

calmness and well -being.

Wow, and it's safe?

I don't know. Why is she late?

12U Turnpike, because if you do, we're going to get stuck in the middle of...

Hi, I'm Piper.

Can I borrow that?

become the windier city.

Good one, Mary.

Not really.

Bring your pets inside and tie your kids to something heavy because a big old

tornado is on the way to Swellview and is expected to cause powerful winds of

to 95 miles per hour.

So now here's Mary with what she called her tornadoes and tornadoes. Mary?

Do stay inside.

Don't go outside.

Girls pulling arms, pumpkins being murdered.

Why are you making them pack up pumpkins?

Isn't it obvious?

No.

I'm on PEP. P -E -P.

PEP? Yeah, the pumpkin eating plan.

All I eat are pumpkins now.

Pumpkin juice, pumpkin smoothies, pumpkin patties, pumpkin pasta, pumpkin

Hey, look, everybody.

Oh, look what I made.

I call it a breeze -in.

You can use it if there are strong winds.

Oh, this about that tornado that's headed towards Swellview? Yeah. See, if

wind grabs you and lifts you off the ground, you can use these controls to

yourself in double good.

Navigate? I think he means navigate.

Navigate.

Hey,

Henry, did Piper start junior anger management?

Uh, yeah. Me and my dad dropped off here this morning.

What?

Ha! As in, ha, jam class is stupid.

No, it's not. Jam class helps a lot of angry kids.

Well, it's not going to help Piper.

Why not?

Because she's an animal.

Yeah, and besides, people never change.

That's why they say, angry at five, angry at 50.

And once a freak, always a freak. All right, all right.

Anyway, I was at Piper's jam class this morning, and I bet it does work.

Well, I tell you what.

Leggo me.

I bet you that the day your sister's done with jam class, I can get her to

her temper.

That very same day.

Nah, I doubt it.

Because they have these cool aroma collars that let off a special... All

it's a bet.

Yeah, it's a bet.

Then I'm with Team Henry.

Well, I'm on Team Ray. Take it away.

So what's the bet? The bet is... When I get Piper to lose her temper, you and

Charlotte... Gotta eat a big old bucket of raw pumpkin guts.

So, when you fail to make Piper lose her temper, you and Jasper have to eat a

big old bucket of raw pumpkin guts.

Yeah, while wearing swimsuits.

What?

I was just saying we should wear swimsuits when we're just... Just be

So we gotta bet?

We gotta bet.

Just to confirm, no swimsuits. Stop. Why are you here?

Uh

-huh.

Yeah, Piper comes home from jam class tonight, so I'm making her favorite

dinner. Oh, I think he's here with Piper now.

Okay, bye.

Mom. Hey.

Hi, Mr. Sartre.

Hello,

Mr. Sartre.

I didn't know you were bringing friends to dinner.

Well, friends and his boss from junk and stuff. Mom, you remember Ray?

Oh, sure. We've met a dozen times.

Uh, 14.

Really? Hey,

can I go up to your room for a sec?

Why? You'll see.

You'll all see.

Oh, it's Piper. She and your dad will be here any minute.

I better go butter the lobster balls.

Obster balls.

Hey.

Okay, before Piper gets here, let's go over the bed.

Okay. When Piper gets mad and loses her temper, Jasper and I win. And you two

gotta eat a big old nasty bucket of pumpkin guts.

Or, when Piper doesn't get mad and lose her temper, Henry and I win. Yeah.

And then you losers gotta eat a big old nasty bucket of pumpkin guts.

I'm such a child.

Uh, guys?

Well,

We told you.

The swimsuit is not part of the bed.

I know. I'm just showing off my new one.

That. That.

Uh -uh.

Uh -uh.

And look who's back.

It's me and Piper.

Dad, please don't make a big deal. Hi, baby.

Guess what we're having for dinner tonight.

Lobster balls and faux food.

But it's made with meat.

Schwarz, I want you to imagine my voice as you read this.

Okay.

We're low on pumpkins, so I want you to go to the all -night market and buy 50

more large pumpkins.

Your boss, Ray.

going outside in the middle of a tornado storm?

I don't care if there's a tornado storm.

Pick up both notes you threw on the

floor and then go get the pumpkins.

Ray, would you like to try a lobster ball?

Would I like to?

Oh, yeah.

But I'm on a strict pep diet, so... Oh, you mean the pumpkin eating plan.

You really get me.

I like corn.

This tofu really does taste like meat.

Yeah, but not the good meat.

Hmm.

Doorbell. I guess someone's at the door.

I wonder why there's a pony here.

It says here this beautiful pony is a present for Piper Hart.

A present for Piper? Gosh, Piper, you must be so excited and happy.

I am.

Okay, little girl, here's your... Wait.

How old are you? I'm 11.

Yeah, sorry, kid.

You gotta be at least 13 to get a free pony.

What?

That... That jerk just took my pony away!

Uh -oh. I think somebody's about to get angry.

It is?

Oh, yeah.

It makes me happy.

I got to show you guys something really cool. Come on.

So I have to go get something for my car outside.

Why would you think we care about seeing your big toe?

Because it's really unusual.

So is the rest of you.

Wait.

Where's Ray?

I don't know.

They're up to something.

We better find him.

you up to?

Nothing. I'm just... Schwoz.

Hey, Schwoz, you get my pumpkins?

Ray! Help me!

I belong!

Uh, look, I gotta go make a little girl mad.

But I need a place to land!

Where are you?

Uh, I'm at Henry's house, and I gotta go.

Ray!

What are you gonna do?

I'm going to go win a bet so that you and Charlotte have to eat pumpkin guts.

Dude.

Step aside, kid.

Hello, everyone. It's me, Captain Man.

Captain Man!

Ah, jeez.

Wow.

Captain Man, what are you doing here when there's nothing for you to do and

probably should be leaving, maybe?

Yeah, why'd you come here?

Yeah.

Well, you're the president of my fan club, aren't you? The Man Fans?

Yeah, yeah.

Or maybe not.

What?

What do you mean?

I'm sorry, but to be president of the man fans, you have to be at least four

foot ten inches tall.

She is.

Yeah, I am four foot ten.

Sorry,

I coughed.

You know what? Actually, what I meant to say was...

You can't be president of the manned bands if you're 4 '10", which apparently

you are.

So, sorry.

What? That is so dumb.

Hey, I don't make the rules.

Well, who does?

A person.

This is insane!

Piper, remember your bulb? Squeeze your bulb, squeeze your bulb. No!

This was probably back when you were four foot nine, so... Uh, here, let me

squeeze your bulb for you. No!

Everyone get away from me and my bulb!

Okay, I'm really mad,

but I'm not going to lose my temper because I've learned that if I do lose

my temper,

collar broke and fell off.

Piper, come on now.

There's no reason to lose your temper or anything. It's all good.