Original subtitles

And according to city officials, this mistake at Swellview Prison is the

mistake in the history of prison mistakes.

Wow, so disturbing.

And now we go live to Swellview Prison with reporter Barney Villaraigosa.

Want some soup?

You don't share soup.

I share soup with my mom.

Do I look like your mom?

I wish.

I'm here outside Swellview Prison with Mark Landry from the Prison Parole

Mr. Landry.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

How could you have accidentally released one of the FBI's most dangerous

criminals by mistake?

Yeah, um, see, today is Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, and my daughter

was playing with my computer, and somehow she released Drex from prison.

Again, I'm so sorry.

Molly, why would you release Drex knowing how dangerous he is?

I'm five.

Kids sure do say the stupidest things.

Uh, Barney, any news on the current location of this criminal named Drex?

Not at this time. But investigators are using all available resources to conduct

a complete search of literally everywhere.

Charlotte, I need you to log into the Mancopter's computer guidance system.

You're taking the man copter? I don't have time for questions. Where are you

going? To catch Drex.

You answered her question.

What? You said you don't have time for questions, but I guess that only applies

to my questions.

Hey, thanks for understanding.

Okay, I'm locked into the man copter's computer.

Good. Settle weapons to ready position.

Locked and loaded.

Locked.

All right, I'm out of here.

Hang on. What? I got to go.

Don't you want to wait for Henry? Yeah, Henry's not here. Do you want me to text

him and find out how far he is? No, no, no, no.

Why not?

Because I already contacted Henry.

Yeah, and he said he's going to meet me there, so... Are you sure?

Hey, look, that's Henry calling me right now.

Hi, Henry.

I didn't hear your phone ring. Me either.

It's set to silent.

Sorry, Henry.

Jasper was bothering me. What's that? Oh, you do?

So you're going to meet me there. Great.

So you're on the phone talking with Henry right now?

Yeah, obvi.

Sorry, Henry. I'm back.

Great. So I'll meet you there. You're going to meet me where?

in uniform.

Uniform?

Yeah. Uh... What if all those extra weapons?

I guess, uh... Hello?

Oh, hey, Schwoz!

Wait, your phone didn't ring. It's on silent. Ah.

Uh, what's that you say, Schwoz?

I should leave the man cave right now, and Henry and Charlotte and Jasper

stay here and not ask me any questions? Good.

Good idea.

Here, I got the idea.

Right here.

I gotta go, Schwoz.

Winkler.

to leave before Henry got here. Oh, can you be quiet?

Ever?

Ray, what's going on here?

Uh, dude, is there something going on? Tell me. I'm your sidekick.

I'm confused.

I thought your plan was to go find that guy, Drex, but not tell Henry so that

Henry would never know about it.

Talk to me.

Look, kid.

I gotta go fight a really bad guy, Drex.

And I gotta fight him alone.

Why? Because I know Drex. He's extremely dangerous. He's bad on a whole other

level.

Well,

how do you know him?

I'm sorry, what?

How do you know this guy, Drex?

Just from, you know, from stuff.

From stuff?

Why don't you just tell Henry that Rex used to be your sidekick?

Schwoz!

You had a sidekick?

Before me?

indestructible superhero hired me to be his sidekick. Now we blow bubbles and

fight crime.

Feels good.

College. Up to two.

I can't believe this. I cannot believe this. Oh, you say that every week.

I don't know, I just, I always thought that I was your first sidekick.

Well, you really had a sidekick before me?

You never told me? Well, no, but only because I didn't want you to know.

Hey, hey, something's happening upstairs in Junk and Stuff.

down here to get changed for a 20 and then i just got distracted that was 45

minutes ago son give me the

proton grenade but it's so cool

He was your sidekick?

Yes, for a little while.

Look, I hired Drex like nine years ago. It was before I even had this man cave.

Why'd you hire such a bad guy to be your sidekick?

Because he seemed perfect at the time.

Well, why?

I mean, what made him so perfect?

Drex had it all.

Bravery. Extreme fighting skills.

Hot mom.

Rave? Well, that's how it's yours. Ray!

So, why wasn't Drex the perfect sidekick?

Oh, well, found out that Drex has a dark side.

Dark how?

Evil.

Mean.

Tardy.

Chewed with his mouth open, never flushed.

And he was violent, cruel, and dangerous. And one day, Drex and I, we

it out.

You guys fought?

Oh, yeah.

It was horrible.

But, I mean, you won.

Right?

Barely.

Barely? But you're, like, the best fighter in the whole world.

Oh, no.

Not better than Drex.

If I wasn't indestructible, believe me, I'd have been, you know, destructed.

I can't believe I'm not your first sidekick.

Hey.

You're my first sidekick that I really care about.

Oh, sure. Did you tell Drex that, too?

No.

Well, maybe.

Look, Drex and I were only together for a few months.

We never even... We never even fought crime together.

Did you think about it?

Henry. Oh, God.

On what news?

It says that mistakenly released criminal known only as Drex has been

North Swellview traveling south on East Avenue.

I know where he's going.

The bakery district.

And when he gets there, he's going to have to deal with me. No.

He's going to have to deal with us.

No chance. I'm going. Forget it. You can't. Give me one reason why I can't

Give me one reason.

Because... He used to be my sidekick, and now you're my sidekick, and if we're

all there together, I don't know, man, it's just gonna be all weird.

If you're going to see your old sidekick, then I'm going.

Henry, I... Just let him go. Come on, man.

Fine. If you're coming with me, you better put this on.

What's this?

It's a glove that shoots tranquilizing darts.

You can use it to take down dregs.

Okay.

How's it work?

Just aim it at Ray's neck.

and pull the trigger.

Now, if I wasn't indestructible, that would have stuck in my neck and

enough hippo -grade tranquilizer to knock me out cold.

Where'd the duck go?

It's right here.

Charlotte, that's dangerous. Give it back to Schwoz.

Charlotte seems tired.

Whatever. If you're coming with me, you better pop a gumball in your mouth and

fast. Oh, yeah.

How will you find Rex in the bakery district?

There's only one place he'd go.

And I know that place.

Okay.

Let's go meet your first sidekick that you used to love.

Ah, jeez.

You want a fan?

Nope. I probably wouldn't fan as good as Drex would.

Up the tube.

I want a fan.

See anything?

Yes.

I see some cakes, some breads, various pies.

You know what I mean. Okay, there's nobody here.

All right?

Except for that dude behind the counter talking on his phone.

Hey, that dude happens to be Mr.

Schneider, the owner of this bakery. Oh, big whiff. It is a big whiff.

Why are we here?

Look, I know Drex is coming here.

He loves this bakery as much as I do.

How do you know he loves it?

Because Drex and I used to... What?

Did, uh... You and Drex used to come here?

Together?

Yeah, okay, yes. We came here a couple of times.

So, just like twice?

Yeah, twice.

Twice a week. What?

Look, I'm not talking about this anymore.

Well, good.

Good. Good.

Oh.

Oh, wow.

What?

Nut clusters.

I'm sorry?

It says, free nut clusters, just reach and hole.

What's a nut cluster?

Oh, man, imagine if a cookie and a brownie got married, fell into a

pool full of caramel, and then just rolled around in a big old sack of nuts.

Big old sack of... Wait, wait, wait! I don't want to wait! Just... Did Drex

how much you love nut clusters? Oh, kid, you gotta stop being so jealous. No,

I'm just asking, because... What if it's a trap?

Okay. Don't sneeze.

Well, I'm allergic to nuts.

But I don't care.

Wait, no, no. What if it's a trap?

Oh.

Okay.

We'll each just get one nut cluster. No, don't put your hand in the...

Okay, what just happened?

I don't know.

I can't pull my hand out. That's weird.

I told you it could be a trap.

It's probably just broken.

You know?

Defective.

Here, let's try a peanut butter one. No, don't put your other hand... Man.

Both these holes are defective. It's a trap. A trap for who?

Oh, I don't know. You?

Us? Anyone dumb enough to stick both their hands in those holes?

Just go tell Mr. Schneider to call a handyman. Hey.

Sure. Hey, Mr. Schneider, can you call a handyman? Because my friend really...

Mr. Schneider.

What's going on? Who would have just rigged that?

You.

You.

Who?

Drex.

Oh, poor Ray.

Did you want a nut cluster?

You know I did.

Tease.

Okay. That's it, jerk.

On the ground.

Right now.

What a nice pie.

Share a slice with me?

Maybe I want my own slice.

Kid, stay away from him. Why?

We gotta take this guy in.

All right, this is a robbery. Now I want everybody.

Oh, jeez.

It's Captain Man and Kid Danger.

Both of you on the ground. You just love the ground, don't you?

Hello, idiots.

Would either of you morons like to share my pie?

He called us morons. Yeah, I heard him.

And I don't like your attitude.

Well, then, do something.

Scary.

Almost dropped my pie.

Now, where were we?

Ah, yes.

You and I were about to fight.

Good.

I just need to use the restroom first.

So, Captain Man.

I spank your boyish sidekick.

Some pie?

Nobody wants your filthy pie.

You're done, Drex.

Careful, kid. Why?

I'm the one with the cool thing on my wrist.

So why should I... That's why.

Hey! Fetch, boy.

Well, show me respect.

Yawn.

Now, old friend.

I have a gift for you.

What is that? Some kind of crazy box with a wide hose bottom?

Why don't I show you?

No.

Drex! Don't do it, Drex! No!

I made it!

I got it.

Drex!

Looks like you're going back to jail.

You certainly showed that table.

Kid Danger!

Kid! Kid Danger!

Kid Danger ran out the door.

why you should always check inside your toilet before sitting down.

And now it's the viral video everyone's talking about.

As you can see, the fugitive known only as Drex is spanking our very own Kid

Danger.

Spanky, spanky, spank your belly.

Spanky, spanky, spank your body.

Hey,

make sure you get this on video.

No, no. Wait, where was I? Don't do that. Ah, yes, that's right.

How's your bottom?

It's faint.

It still hurts.

Dad, isn't the ice helping?

No. The ice is just giving me numb butt.

I can't cut through it.

Dang it, why not?

Because this helmet is made of neutronium, and it has three different

thermomagnetonic locks.

The only way to open it is with a special electronic key.

Did Drex give you a special electronic key?

Oh, yeah, sure. It's right here in my pocket. Let me just... No! He didn't

me a special electronic key!

Look, if you can't cut this helmet off, at least get this freakish nut cluster

trap off my hands.

Oh, I can get it off.

What's he doing?

Yeah, because you're indestructible. And look, I got your hands free.

That's right. So now I can gesture like this.

Go upstairs!

Yes, sir.

Uh, maybe you should go take a nap.

A nap?

Drex is on the loose!

I've got to get this stupid thing off my head until then!

I'm useless.

Oh, then I guess Henry's got to stop Drex.

Are you serious?

I can't take on Drex.

Why not you can?

Because I tried to fight that guy and he stuffed me in cake batter and then

spanked me.

Where are you going?

Home. Home?

Oh, come on, Henry. You can't just go home. Not when this town needs you most.

This town needs a superhero.

Or... At least a decent sidekick.

With skills, sir.

It was anything.

I'm nothing.

I'm not even wearing pants.

Here.

Up to two.

I think Henry just quit his job.

Oh, man.

Well, you can't blame Henry. I mean, everyone expects him to act like a

superhero, and he doesn't even have one superpower.

Yeah. Well, maybe we need to fix that.

Schwoz, I think it's time.

For me to get my colonoscopy?

What? No!

Gross! But my colon!

I want you to call Schwab and Costello.

Schwa -who?

Two very powerful people from my homeland.

Oh, man, I am exhausted. Ray, no! Wait, wait, wait!

Why is this couch so lumpy?

And

now

it's the viral video everyone's talking about.

Stupid news.

Stupid

reaction

to the news.

I'd like you to meet Robert and Costello.

It's an honor to meet you. I'm sure you've heard much about me.

I love your hair.

Thank you. Would you like it?

he wants to come or not.

Okay.

Robert, Costello, Captain Ed will look after you until I return.

After Tim!

Well, you're probably interested in my story.

You see, my dad was an irresponsible...

Okay, Stephanie.

Now show everyone your impression of Kid Danger.

Do not come in.

Hey, Henry. Hello, Henry.

What'd I just say?

You gotta come back with us to the man cave.

No.

I'm not going back.

No matter what you guys say.

Then they won't say anything.

Hey.

What up with the bean?

I... I...

Now you grab Henry and we take him back to the man cave.

We gave Henry.

Where is all this stuff?

It's for to give Henry the tower.

He's been doing that for half an hour.

brought you here against your will.

Captain Who?

Sometimes I shorten his name to Jasper.

Where am I?

Where in Swellview Park?

At the playground.

Under the twirly -whirly.

Twirly -whirly?

All right, you're coming with me. Why? To show me the twirly -whirly.

I can't. You can, if you have the power.

What power?

Oh!

What's all this stuff?

This is a South African bush lizard.

This is a black shag spider.

Thank you.

So, for me to get a superpower, I have to get bitten by some crazy foreign

lizard and a bush spider?

What?

No, no, no. You see, when you combine their venoms and heat the mixture, it

turns into a vapor, and then you breathe it in.

I have to breathe in venom vapor?

Yeah. It will accelerate your reflexes and sharpen your hand eye and your foot

eye. High coordination.

So, you're saying it'll make Henry be able to move faster?

Yeah, if you want to say it like a dummy.

This seems really weird and kind of dangerous.

Yeah, it is both of those. Wait, what? No, we... Can we talk about that?

As your psychologist, I'm here to help you overcome your fear of playgrounds.

Thomas!

Now, the only way to conquer a fear is to face the fear.

Can we go home, please?

No.

Now, your parents and I are going to walk over to Inside Out Burger and have

late lunch while you children stay here and learn that playgrounds are nothing

to be scared of.

Come along, parents.

Where is it? There it is.

Where's the man cave? Show me.

It's under this twirly -whirly, like a half mile down.

Hi. Hey!

How do I get inside?

You have to twirl it like a combination lock.

All right.

Open it.

Uh, okay.

First, I, um, I spin it this way 25 times.

One.

Two.

Henry have accelerated speed?

We will not know until the boy awakens.

Well, how do we awaken him?

This way.

elevator button.

Uh, okay.

Uh, where's the toilet?

What are you gonna do?

This.

Okay, I'm looking at the elevator button, but I'm not sure why.

Henry!

Wow! See how fast he moves?

Schwoz, why don't you just...

Yes. And also, you owe us $250.

Wait.

Where's Drex and Jasper?

Uh, still at Folio Park, on or near the playground.

Okay. Give it to me.

Stand back.

Seriously, when do we get our $250?

Swas, you fly me the man copter. Let's go.

Aye.

Thank you, Robert and Costello. Have a safe trip home.

Twenty -four?

Hey, that's 25!

Uh, are you sure?

Maybe I should just, um, start over.

What?

I don't like you. But I'm so friendly.

And I don't think the man caves anywhere near here. I think you've been lying to

me. No, I wouldn't lie. I love the truth. I consider the truth...

except for my grandma. She doesn't even know who she is anymore.

Well, after I rattle your brain with this, you're not going to know who you

Peek -a -boo.

Whoa,

Kid Danger, you just knocked down tracks.

Uh -huh.

Oh, he's getting back up now. Yeah, you might want to run. On it.

Well.

Well, where's your big brother?

Probably with your big sister.

Look, it's Kid Danger and that mean guy again.

Somebody called the police.

I'm going to mop the grass with you, boy. You don't mop grass, stupid.

That's it.

Not even close.

Whoa, can't touch this.

Kid, I'm going to punch and kick you 10 ,000 times.

Cool. I'll help you kick out. Ready, set, go.

Zero. Still zero.

Not for me to know, and you to shut up.

no one gets this on video and sends it to the news.

thought I'd be so happy to see you people.

Wait, what happened with Drex?

Oh, Henry brought him here.

Drex is here?

Is he, uh... He's totally fine.

He just can't move. Or talk. Or think.

Or kick. Or punch. Or pee.

Well, how did you, uh... I used this.

You blast a person with a beam from this, and it's like pressing powers on

brain. Yeah, but he's totally fine. He just can't do anything.

Well, like the Kardashians.

It's just in.

Captain Man's sidekick, Hit Danger. Hey, look. Rumors in the news.

Known as Drex today.

And thanks to Hit Danger's new and unexplained lightning speed, he was able

completely frustrate and enrage Drex, who we all hate.

Greatest.