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"Don't Take God's Children for Wild Geese"

My name's Rita, I'm pretty hot and very smart.

I don't know what you guys like: boiled eggs, Rhythm & Blues?

I like money.

That's the only thing I think about. And men.

Rich men.

I wouldn't survive in India.

India or China.

They live in the same misery. One day they'll eat tourists,

just because they're hungry.

Same in China.

You'll see they won't only eat rice in China.

They'll become voracious.

I see them on TV…

They have strange looks.

I'd like to live in the Bahamas.

I'd be in a swimming pool, I'd start drowning.

A man would dive in to rescue me.

He'd be in his 50s but fit.

Texan style.

I'd have lost my swimming suit without noticing.

He'd be an oil tycoon and would take me back to my room.

Love at first sight for him, I'd be unconscious.

I'd be too late anyway.

I'd love the Bahamas.

When this nice person mentioned the pacifying role of money,

a ton of gold was leaving

the Franco-Lebanese bank…

… conveyed by two careless men who hadn't read their horoscope.

1st WARNING

What would you do with one billion?

You could invest in property.

Not everyone is that reasonable.

Take Fred, he'd spend everything on clothes.

That's why we call him Stylish.

He has 40 suits and he'd run to Cardin just for a tie.

Same for his haircut, he goes to Carita everyday.

The boss does his shampoo herself.

If I had money, I'd prefer cultural travels.

Learning about arts.

I have a program already.

I buy that in the drugstore to prepare.

They're called "World Wonders."

They're very nice.

That's in Greece.

The mother of us all, as my auntie says.

Isn't that nice?

What's with this? It's me in Mégève.

That's better.

The Doge Palace.

The Sistine Chapel.

Oh! It's me again.

It's me in St. Trop'.

I met Fred there, at the Café des Arts.

I was there with Jacky.

I'm Jacky.

Before his operation, he was Rosemonde.

I was already dangerous!

I was a gang leader.

Some kind of icon, if you see what I mean.

2nd WARNING

Now, I'm a man.

A gun-layer. I don't regret anything.

Except sometimes…

I get nostalgic, mostly during fashion week.

Isn't this just violence for the sake of violence?

A real man's job.

For me Rosemonde and her dykes are just show offs,

arrogant and I'd even say nasty.

That's Fred.

Fred…

can piss off.

What do you think about all these hold-ups?

They must be punished. We feed them for years in jail.

Before we had penal colonies, they'd think twice.

Now, we praise them on TV.

Something needs to be done, we're back in the Middle Ages.

It's the government's fault.

- What would you do as a judge? - Give a severe sentence.

People must think before they act.

Killers are sentenced for life and we keep feeding them.

People who closed brothels deserve the death penalty.

I agree.

- Are you for the death penalty? - Yes.

- We should cut off their heads. - They deserve to die.

People who cause pain should suffer more.

A slow and cruel death.

I'll cut their heads sharp.

They're crazy! They're killing everyone.

You're going to see something unusual.

In case of a breakdown, press the button.

It slides up and down.

It expands.

You think it's complicated? I say it's not for everyone.

It's not as smart as a dolphin, but it flies.

You smoke too much. Your teeth are all yellow.

I'll buy myself some yellower ones, gold ones.

Look, a dove.

This may not be the Great Train Robbery, but it's a good job.

With style, color,

and grace.

A well-planned job is a half successful one.

Believe me my darlings, nothing bad could have happened.

Wasn't it beautiful and well-organized?

Fred got me with his dialectics.

Dialectics and manners.

We could write books on how he walks through doors.

Some close them on your face.

Fred goes first and holds the door.

"Please, Madam."

So classy!

Savage men!

You think we'll go get our own drinks and pour you one?

Eh! Oh!

It's beautiful!

You're right. It's beautiful.

Go get the remaining ones, so we can see it all.

Faster! Cold pale ales, no froth.

Technique and efficiency lead to productivity.

The Courrier de Lyon or the Bande à Bono are over.

Even a genius handyman is out of the race.

Are you listening to me?

Since you're now listening, let me explain.

I prepared the job well.

Tell me when you're done walking around.

I prepared the job well. The fence is in Hong-Kong.

He'll get half the delivery through Anchorage,

half through Johannesburg.

Don't move when I explain.

I asked half to be paid in dollars, half in Swiss Francs.

I said no froth.

The money'll leave from Formosa half by trim, half by Boeing.

It'll be transferred to an Egyptian bank in Tel-Aviv.

That's a brain.

Hands up, back against the wall.

I want to see your hands.

We're armed like Magnum.

If you move even your ears we'll cut you in half.

It'd make 10 pieces.

Charles, are you robbing me?

I must be seeing things!

It's a nightmare.

Handcuff them and pack the gold bars.

I would have asked you to deliver them at my doorstep.

I'd have tipped you, but you'd have gotten offended.

It's not your voice, Charles. It can't be.

- My ears are buzzing. - With or without froth?

With.

- Wahoo. - I know.

You know what you are?

- A rich woman. - Put them on the Chesterfield.

- The what? - The sofa.

Idiots…

Go first. You're at home.

To think we were getting married…

- I'd have given her my name. - I said with froth.

It's coming.

Mrs. Fred. She'd get in anywhere.

Like a First Lady.

If I get out, I'll brand her.

- I'll impale her on a cactus. - Why didn't you say that before?

- I counted them all. Now what? - I said you pack. Need a fax?

Hey, rude man! Don't over do it!

- We must split first. - Split what, darling?

Go ahead, pack.

Charles, look at me.

Look at me in the eyes.

- Yes, darling? - We agreed to split 50/50.

- 500 million each. - What do I hear?

What do you want me to do with 500 mils these days?

The minimum wage is increasing, taxes are sucking up our money

and the stock exchange is crazy. I'd only last me 5 years.

You wouldn't want me to go back to work at 50?

You're hard on old people.

I think I'm going to scream.

You're young, your future is ahead of you.

Being a slut can be handy.

Take the gold away.

Sorry, darling.

Piss off with or without froth!

I don't care, I'll tell my auntie.

Having lost two of her playmates the day God called Al Capone

and Lucky Lucciano back, good old auntie Léontine spent

the rest of her life between sweets, religion and birdies.

Do you know who taught me, almost 40 years ago,

- how to graft olive trees? - No, auntie.

Your uncle Adrien. He had a mustache like Charles de Morny

and took off his hat when he slapped a woman.

Do you know who gave me seeds for these orange trees?

- Uncle Adrien. - Yes. A man of great knowledge.

Why would we go to Paris when we have such a view?

We're better here than in St. Ouen, right?

The sea, always coming and going like Adrien used to say.

A great poet when he talked about the sea.

He sang the Tosca in his bath, killed a buffalo from 30 meters.

And how far for a man?

I hate this way of thinking, it reminds me of your dad.

He was a free thinker.

He walked to the guillotine blaspheming.

Uncle Adrien also died in Cayenne, didn't he?

Maybe, but he lead the harmonium at the prison's church.

Then…

I was even told that towards the end,

he composed cantatas.

All this is very nice, but I'm hungry.

Still, cantatas are beautiful.

It helps.

I don't think you flew down here to take music lessons.

I'm listening.

Thank you, dear Casimir.

To tell you the truth, I'm in trouble.

Only yesterday, I was engaged to Stylish Fred.

Since you live in Paris and go to bed at 10PM, if not 10:30PM,

I expected you to be surrounded by eccentric people.

We were supposed to get married on St. Médard Day,

but I misbehaved. I swear, I'm usually not that bad.

A woman with a 36 inch bust and a 12 inch head

can't be that bad, but can be a bit stupid.

- I'm afraid you're like that. - Not for everything.

Rest assured.

My troubles aren't from my fiancé, but from my associate.

Reckless Charles.

He didn't only stain my honor, he insulted the family.

When I told him I'd report to auntie,

he gave you quite a nickname.

I don't dare say it.

But I'd like you to.

Doddering Léontine.

Really?

He even added that you were losing your mind.

- Casimir! - Miss.

Pack our bags.

Firebird? Judex speaking.

- Anything new? - Nothing.

Nothing? What do you mean nothing?

Nothing to report. Nothing at all.

Super Chief? Judex speaking.

- What's going on, on your side? - Nothing. What do we do?

You stay there.

I have all my time.

Check out our material. Rita is locked in Paris.

Caught in the net, sentenced to death.

Kafkaesque, expensive, but Kafkaesque.

Flying patrol? Judex speaking.

We're checking all cars leaving town.

What's so funny?

I'm thinking about Charles, he completely disappeared.

He's sentenced to death, like Rita.

I'd be crazy to attack a kid.

I know I shouldn't cry, but it's out of happiness.

I'm happy.

I'm too happy.

I don't feel like going out. I don't eat anymore.

I just stare at them.

Just as beautiful as a nativity scene.

Miss Léontine here? I never thought you'd be back.

We always come back, Ruffin.

What's our little miss up to these days?

Growing up.

Dear Ruffin, can you give Casimir a hand?

- Hello, Ruffin. - Hello, Casimir.

What the hell?

- That can't be. - It can.

Where are the Bouguereaus and the bronzes?

And the Persian rugs?

Who are these hallucinogenic androgynies?

I knew you'd find that strange, but that's the new trend.

In the hotel business, it's: be modern or die.

It's very nice.

They're not harmful. They put flowers in their hair

- They take LSD. - But what do they smoke?

- It smells weird. - Mexican mushroom.

They say it makes them see in colors, but I don't believe it.

Just in case, ask them to go smoke outside.

If I see your flower heads at dinner, I'll kick them out.

Rita!

My room's still on the 1st floor?

Of course. The suite at the end of the corridor.

I guess it's also been "modernized."

My dear friend…

Do you think they came to Paris for some shopping?

I think they came to kill Fat Charles.

That's another story.

The living room might need to become operational in a quick.

The lights are interesting.

Yeah.

I forgot what it was.

A couple having sex in a park listening to Royal Garden Blues.

Silver medal in Chicago.

Gold medal in Pittsburgh.

Can we call without going through the Telestar?

Balzac, 4404.

Hello?

Could I speak to Mr. Charles, please?

These lamps are annoying.

Hello? Charles?

- Léontine speaking. - Which Léontine?

The doddering woman.

- Tiburce! - Uncle.

Tell all the swords to be here at midnight.

All the Who's Who.

The Moko. Three Fingers.

The Small Horse.

The Piggy. Espago.

And Woolen Legs. Oh my!

St. Rita full of grace, please help me get revenge

on the bad guy without auntie stealing my money.

I'd like Fred to have an accident…

a fatal disease or something like that.

You see what I mean. I trust you.

Sorry. I had a nightmare. I forgot to drink my linden tea.

- Do you need something? - A bed on which I can sleep.

Here's the Bouguereau.

Good old Bouguereau and Barbedienne's bronzes.

Oh, what memories they bring back.

Mercury.

Psyche.

Diana.

Oh my God! Even the bather.

I don't like to throw things away but it's looks a bit full.

After all it's my room.

It was.

Gentlemen! Gentlemen!

I dragged you all here because we're on the brink of ruin.

The disease's affecting the chicken again.

If I weren't sure we could fight it, I'd tell you to run away.

We'll ring the alarm in Montmartre.

Cholera's back.

Plague's threatening the world.

The wicked fairy godmother left her birdies.

In short, Léontine is back.

This old rag is no bomb.

We've just been unlucky so far, but that's over.

Are you done with your superstitions?

Now that it's quiet, let me recap.

We find her, put her in acid,

cut her up with a laser, dissolve her,

and throw her remains in a lake.

I see you're going to be busy.

I'll leave you to it.

With so much work ahead of you, you should get some sleep.

Good luck, my friend.

Have fun.

Good night.

Tiburce!

Uncle.

Tiburce, my child. The elites resigned.

Thank God, you're with me.

You're Rodrigue's age and your head is just as empty.

Remember, who gave you your first airsoft gun?

Your first blowtorch, your first gun?

You, my uncle.

I'll give you the chance to pay me back for all of this.

But I'll be frank. I'll talk to you as an adult.

You'll have to kill a little.

Let me finish.

- It's a very old woman. - Ah! OK.

Miss Léontine, please.

- What? - Miss Léontine, please.

- We have no rooms left. - I'm here to see Miss Léontine.

I don't know a Léontine. Who are you?

- I don't like questions. - I don't like bullshit.

Even less before my morning coffee.

Come this way.

- What's over there? - The cellar.

- I don't want to go there. - It'll be quieter for a chat.

- Chat about what? - Everything, nothing,

life and death… Go first.

Ruffin!

Where's my orange juice?

Deep inside I hear a cry

I don't know why

I must be high

Sparkling…

Just seeing you

I feel hope that's true

The sky takes up every hue

I call out for you

Life is beautiful and anew

Our love can debut

Romeo and Juliet. Tristan and Isolde.

Fine.

But that's a bit odd.

Super Chief, you'll get cirrhosis from all that Viandox.

- So, what's new? - Still nothing.

Firebird for Judex.

Nothing to report.

We just finished counting.

38,750 cars left the city.

Not the ones we were looking for. Sorry.

Everything's fine.

The noose is tightening.

Careful, there's a branch.

Now that we're alone,

what are your intentions?

To marry darling Henriette

- Is he stupid or it's his style? - He's stupid.

Maybe he got stuck in traffic.

At school, he received honors for his punctuality

and spirit of friendship.

Institutions, fame, prestige…

No more respect for anything anymore.

When the King's asleep, the heir apparent is killed.

How nice.

Careful.

I have a good temper, but my sword is vengeful.

The eagle will melt on the old buzzard.

- Nice metaphor. - It's not a metaphor,

it's a circumlocution.

- Piss off. - That's a metaphor.

Love… Fine, love.

Non-essentials are one thing, but what about the necessities?

What will you live of?

- Henriette has a dowry. - Used to.

One billion in gold bars. Charles stole them from me.

And I thought he had only badmouthed me?

One doesn't prevent the other.

I don't want my uncle to get hurt.

One billion is quite a sum!

- I know. - It's a very big sum even.

- Charles is unwise. - I don't want him to get hurt.

Stop eating!

We slammed the doors already.

And keep quiet!

North wing. South wing.

That's a good start.

Oh man…

Marcel!

Come closer, Marcel. Come.

Yes, Miss.

- I never hurt you. - You never did.

- That's quite a gun. - Colt Frontier 1812.

Barbediennes are solid stuff.

Since you're from here, do you find that normal?

I don't like what's happening in this house.

Ruffin!

Casimir!

- Miss! - You can tidy up.

With sadness I inform you of Léontine Palpicart's passing.

With happiness…

Power saw, forced air heating, thermostat.

For a beginner in the trade, it's fascinating.

LEFT LEG

Do you remember back then?

When Miss came to Paris

and took over the lead.

We carried so many suitcases.

I hated the Ourcq Canal. It was full of villains.

- At night, you'd meet odd guys. - Here too!

I carried all of Riton Good Smile's gang in suitcases.

37 trips between Pigalle and Joinville.

- The Marne is beautiful. - Yes, but it's far.

Technology's become man's best friend.

How long do you think it'll take?

Two hours to sear, and then five on low.

- The bill will be high. - No, there's a blue meter.

To live better, the blue meter.

Veni, Vidi and No Vici.

It's one in the eyes for us.

Thank you…

I had understood.

You seem washed-out, Ruffin.

Sorry, but when I don't sleep my eight hours…

You made so much noise last night.

I'd love my sweetie

That you put jam on my toastie!

Tiburce! You're not in a musical.

Try to speak like everyone else.

I don't want to show off, but when I'm in bed awake,

- I think. - Me too.

- I think about Charles. - Me about Tiburce.

I think about crazy stuff.

I don't even dare tell.

Oh what could it be

Out! Go sing outside where I can't hear you.

Now you can close your thing.

What thing? It's not meant to be closed.

How did you part?

This thing is so annoying.

How did you part with the other guy?

- What other guy? - Fred.

He was in one of his moods.

And vulgar.

He threatened me with eastern torture methods,

and Charles with capital punishment.

You'd really mind…

Really? If I'd been drinking…

I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about Charles.

I don't wish any arm to anyone,

but I think we'd sleep better if Charles was dead.

- Do you want me to ask St. Rita? - That's it.

We'll each talk to her.

When he's not doing hold ups, what is Fred's cover?

- What is it? - You're gonna be shocked.

MINISTRY OF JUSTICE

The Finance Rapporteur.

I'm sure that if you saw her, you'd forgive her.

She doesn't eat or drink anymore.

Good for her. May she die.

The President of the Court of Appeal.

She screams your name at night. She tears her pillows apart.

- Hold out a hand to her. - She'll get my hand in the face

after what she did to me. I don't know if she told you.

- She's young. - I'll kick her in the ass.

Maybe with an iron stick, it'll put this bitch straight.

The Government Accounting Office Prosecutor.

Don't you think that the billion would make a nice nuptial bed?

I'm too hurt.

General, President of the Military Court.

It kills me to see Charles run off with your money.

Not you?

- Want to do a small job for me? - Whatever next?

- You stopped blowing people up? - I don't blow anything anymore.

Would the road to Orly make you happy?

There's no more happiness, just misery.

I wouldn't be surprised if Charles took a flight today.

Then, I'm completely at your service.

The fat guy cheated me.

Tulles' Archbishop.

Here's a proof that music doesn't soothe the savage breast

and that elder delinquents can go a little too far.

I'm just an old woman looking for peace.

Your nephew is in love with my niece, so let's marry them.

If I knew you'd one day become my cousin…

- It feels strange. - To me too.

I know money can't buy happiness,

but I'd like our lovebirds to lead a decent life.

- You agree? - Of course.

If you agree, I'd give them my house in Menton

as a wedding gift.

Between you and I, don't you see my ingots as a gift too?

Old rag!

It's hot!

You're not finishing your meringue?

You're mad at me, right?

It's swinging.

So, apart from that,

let's go back to the wedding gifts.

In your gold rush,

did you think about your great-nephews?

- You're seeing far ahead. - Do you know how much

education costs these days?

A real education.

English manners, college in Switzerland, ski at Christmas,

and beach for the summer.

Charles, are you a monster?

Are you skimming on your great-nephew's health?

- Don't deprive him of the beach. - You're the bitch.

This is so funny!

It came to me like that. Great one!

Admit that it was funny.

My poor Charles.

Fine, see you tomorrow 11AM at the notary.

I'll put the gold bar in Tiburce's name.

For the prenup, 50-50 between our two lovebirds.

- The aim of our old age. - You don't even imagine…

It feels so nice to do good.

The old rag thinks I'm a pelican,

St. Vincent de Paul or UNESCO.

Just wait.

Here we go again, explosions, crimes, arms,

money switching hands.

But if you want to watch me take a bath…

it might be more interesting.

We need to get married fast, he's making holes everywhere.

- He damages things. - I don't touch anything,

I'm just looking.

Oh crap! Bolivars.

If I get Raoul, I'll eat one of his ears.

One ear.

That's a big joke!

Fred might as well just leave his business card.

He's such an idiot.

We need to frame him.

Such stupidity is a nuisance.

I had said so.

Ring around the rosies A pocket full of posies

Ashes Ashes All stand still

Ring around the rosies A pocket full of posies

Ashes Ashes All stand still…

Old MacDonald had a farm E I E I O…

E I E I O…

Ring around the rosies A pocket full of posies

Ashes Ashes All stand still

Bolivars?

Fat Charles got screwed all the way.

Caracas? Why not.

As long as it's a sunny place.

Attention, please. The North Star, Trans Europe Express 73,

to Amsterdam is now leaving.

Have a nice trip.

Taking a little trip, Fred?

Oh well. I think I need a new ride.

So?

I did say he was Stylish Fred, not Clever Fred.

I warned you!

Looks like I bewitch them!

Take Tiburce for instance, his brain's not an IBM!

In a way, he's a special case.

I did say "in a way"!

Otherwise,

he excels at spot-the-difference games and dominos.

Everything else…

If I were him, I'd seek medical help.

In case he got measles late in life or something like it…

I tell you, Tiburce's got a screw loose.

Fine. There are shy guys, non-threatening types.

Besides the first night at a girl's place…

I gotta hear this! Unbelievable!

What?

Really?

I was saying,

the first night you spend at a girl's place compels respect.

But the second night?

Especially for a china doll.

After curfew, I take it slow.

When Tiburce eavesdrops, I dream aloud.

Not in a vulgar way, somewhat excited.

Just a little aroused.

He could open the door and I wouldn't hear a thing!

Basically, I wouldn't notice anything.

And the next morning, at breakfast, "Bonjour Tiburce,"

I'd act as if I didn't know I was raped.

We could continue talking about our engagement.

To promote tasteful imagination

one needs tact, as my auntie would say.

Speaking of my auntie, I haven't seen her in a while.

Could it be that she's stealing my money?!

I'll have a julienne soup and a crème caramel.

Paris is exhausting! Any news?

A phone call from His Lordship, Archimandrite Joseph.

His Lordship asked me to inform you about the agitation

of the bolivar.

BALTIC HERRING ORIENTAL RELIGIONS

Bolivar…

Give me British pounds, marks, crowns and you're on!

Even yens!

But bolivars will always be bolivars!

- Black worthless pennies! - "Black worthless pennies"!

I warn you, Joseph, I'm very irritated! I could slap you!

So drop your mumbo jumbo and let's talk business.

As you wish. You're trading toilet paper for US dollars.

You want to use the official exchange rate? I'm no fool!

You refuse to change my money?

You can play Monopoly with your tokens!

I could, perhaps, take them as a deposit…

And even then, I'd need to know where they come from.

Rita. Someone I was once with.

- Good family? - Depends how you look at it.

- Léontine's niece. - Léontine!

Run for your life! I know nothing. We've never met.

I was born into money, but I don't want to die in it!

Bury your money as deep as you can!

- Where? - We're not short of holes!

Lascaux, Padirac, Saint-André…

- The Devil's Hole! - You think?

I don't know if you realize it, but auntie really trusts us.

- Really? - She's in town till tonight.

Casimir's with her and Ruffin is at the movies.

I know we're not the kind to take advantage, but…

What if we put some music on… Cool, unhealthy music.

Or we started drinking…

I did say "what if."

Nobody could blame us. We had too much to drink…

and bam! Here comes the mailman.

- The mailman? What mailman? - It's an expression.

Fred used to say it often. Well, often enough.

- Tiburce! - Rita, dearest.

Still supposing we drank,

me a little less, because I'd be tipsy.

No, thanks. I like it better without ice.

- How do you like your beer? - Why beer?

Forget it. So I would be tipsy, when all of a sudden, bam…

- The mailman! - The power goes out!

We'd be in the dark. What would you do?

I'd ask where the electric meter is.

In the cellar.

Fine, we'd be in the cellar…

- I don't want to go there. - Of course, you do!

We'd be in the cellar, looking for the meter…

Still supposing!

I'd be frightened in the dark, wearing nothing on,

because my dress would be stuck in the door.

So I'd be almost naked.

What would you do?

I'd try…

to change the fuse.

Well, kids, this won't be easy.

Funny. You got all excited about the Devil's Hole.

Ready to go for it. But be warned,

it's pretty steep. It's not flat.

Of course, if you're aiming for performance…

Since we're playing on words, let's play all the way!

The Devil's Hole it is then! Thank you, father.

Joseph, come out now.

You'll get 10% as usual.

You could make a contribution to our Nizhny Novgorod

pilgrimage fund.

My friend, let's get this straight.

Business is business. Although I was baptized and confirmed

in the Roman Catholic Church.

I don't want to lose everything now that I'm 75,

because of your byzantine antics.

Miss, our future's been mapped out.

The route is marked! It's a piece of cake then!

Sperm Life in the Amazon

You read! I'm fed up!

"The first explorers of the Steinway mission,

"were struck by the erotic passion of the…

- Voilà Voilà. - "Voilà Voilà,

also known as the Redmen of the Amazon."

Faster! It gets better later on.

- Later on? - Exciting, but scientific.

- Where? - Pages 70-71.

- You'll see the little guys! - Really?

"When they reach the age of reason, Voilà Voilàs

don't just ask their numerous wives to perform…

their normal sexual duties,

they demand these to be fun and varied."

"During their unusual initiation rituals,

custom requires that Voilà… Voilàs…

paint themselves in red from head to toe."

- Wait till you hear the rest! - I wonder what it is.

"Sexual rites for the Redmen of the Amazon never end,

lasting for days, if not weeks."

You think it's true?

If I were to believe everything I read!

Still!

Tiburce!

Henriette darling?

What if I painted you red?

Just for fun!

Poor Fred!

Could it be that he got lost?

Mr. Fred was just below.

- Depth: 70 m. Ceiling: low. - Let's get going, Casimir.

That's it!

My little lamp's broken!

- Tiburce! - I'm not a Voilà Voilà!

- I won't go to the cellar! - Tiburce!

- Tiburce, heel! - I'm not a Redman!

- What's a Vichy escalope? - A type of escalope, ma'am.

- Meaning? - Veal, ma'am,

served with carrots, without butter or salt.

A good choice for an evening meal.

What about the Monteverdi escalope?

Émincé of veal, lightly fried, crimped in an Orloff sauce,

half Tokai and Mascara,

flambéed and served with crème fraîche.

Also a good choice for an evening meal?

Not at all!

- Too bad. - Make that two.

Poor Fred has to eat.

He's gonna have fish soup.

It's rich in phosphorus, good for the brain.

When I was little, Mom always made me eat fish.

We used to spend our vacations in Dieppe.

And from there we used to travel to Ré Island to see Dad.

And to the Salvation Islands.

I would always eat fish to make Mom happy.

Fine.

I'm a Voilà Voilà.

Voilà.

A sewer rat!

A rather weird one.

Oddly strange.

Strangely odd.

Poor Fred! He's seen it all!

Poor Fred! This is his last match!

There's another sign!

Thank you, brave man.

- Casimir, run me a bath! - Very well.

I'm too old for morning walks.

I'm glad to see the sun and our orange trees!

You shouldn't have left.

What's wrong?

- You seem odd. - Things are odd.

I think they're pretty good.

During your absence, miss, if I may say this to you,

your niece, and Mr. Charles' young nephew,

fooled around.

I regret telling you this, miss.

All right.

I settled the money matters.

Now I'll settle honor matters.

I'll spank these kids all the way to the mayor's office.

Here they are!

No.

- What does this mean? - It means no!

Yeah.

Nevertheless, one doesn't go to the mayor's office to say no.

What's gotten into you?

If you won't apologize then explain yourself.

I'll get married when I get my money back.

Is that so? I'll break your sofa then.

I want my money!

Give it back or I'll tell everyone you're a murderess.

I'll tell the butcher, the milk man…

I'll cause you so much harm!

Maybe I'll even tell the cops!

My dear child, look at me well.

You've looked at me.

Do I look like someone who drives 1,500 km,

eats a Monteverdi escalope, marks the entire main sewer,

just so a fatty girl can extort money from me?

You hit me, insult me and steal my money!

I'm fed up!

"Don't take God's children…" And you… Tiburce!

If you don't get rid of this person…

What's that?

More trouble!

Come in, Charles.

Take a seat.

Old MacDonald had a farm E I E I O…

Did your trip tire you?

Children, go play outside.

My purse.

Let's go, Tiburce, we're surrounded by thieves.

My pumps!

Now, Charles, I'm all ears.

- You said it already. - I want the money.

- You were informed. - I know everything.

You were underground. You fed Fred to the rats.

But they won't eat me. I'll take out my claws.

Meow! Siamese!

Charles, it'll be a pleasure to give you back the money.

But it's Saturday. Banks are closed.

They're always closed when you go!

Chase Bank, BNP, does that ring a bell?

You gossip now?

Fine. Beware it's a .38 special.

I pull the trigger and your head's gone!

Fine.

Sounds like gunshots! Let's go see.

Wear this on your sleeve.

- I'm not mourning anyone! - What do you know!

Don't bet on it!

The (appalling) events,

and the (despicable) characters

in this (stupid) story

are obviously fictitious,

because everybody knows,

crime doesn't pay.

(all that well)

Looks like the movie ended!

Poor Fred! They won't leave him in the dark!

They can't do that!

Ladies and gentlemen, do something!

Subtitling: ECLAIR