Original subtitles

Thank you.

Take hold.

Don't let go.

Take a breath, ignore the time.

You know that there's a road to climb.

So hold.

But you should know.

Still a little warm in there.

The winter spells a dark affair.

You know our way.

It's no escape from how you feel down there.

You alright, mate?

Yeah. What you up to?

Huh?

Where's that?

Looks amazing.

Mexico.

Aye, how the other half live, matey?

It's a shame it will never be us.

Are you still in for the night?

So much more than what they say.

See the certain world up there.

Oh, my God.

Brian, did you hear about Dave?

Dave who?

Dave that used to sell the dodgy DVD.

With a wonky eye? No, that's Disco Dave. I'm talking about Dave.

Walks down the sports centre. I think he was the year above you.

What about him?

Killed himself.

How? I don't know.

I don't think I would want to know that.

Maybe his wife found him in the bath with his wrists slit and a pool full of

blood.

Maybe he's into kinky shit. I mean, does it matter?

Well, no, but...

Why would he kill himself?

Didn't he get a wife and kids?

Maybe that's why.

Wife nagging at him all the time, couldn't he take it anymore?

Maybe it's the time of year.

Christmas is a popular time for people to... Go on now, don't do that.

I wonder if that means there'll be an opening down at the sports centre.

Do you think they get free membership?

Is that really what you're thinking about right now?

Yeah, what you're thinking about.

What makes his life worse than ours?

Don't do that.

Next it'll be you blowing your brains out. No, no, no. Think to the future.

That's what I always say.

You could be doing me some PMA.

PMA?

Positive Mental Attitude.

Works for me.

You're a PMA.

Pain in my arse. You wish.

The least you can do is buy me a drink first.

Tell you what, why don't we go for a wee drink after work? Tell you what, no.

You're right, grumpy pants.

People in here keep saying that you're dead boring, but I think there's a tiger

in you ready to come out.

Wait a minute.

Hi, Mum.

Are you okay?

You sound funny.

Yeah, I'm fine.

Well, remember it's your gran's birthday tomorrow, and everyone's coming for

tea. Okay, I'll be around after my work.

Right. Get some sleep, son, and I'll see you tomorrow.

Okay, bye.

So, what's happening?

I need to go round to my mum's.

That would be lovely.

Stop worrying about making your partner, friends, and family happy for a minute,

and focus on making you happy, and the rest will fall into place.

The suffering in silence is not the answer.

Suicide is definitely not the answer.

We have a real problem with male suicide in this country, and I believe that

every suicide is preventable.

To all the guys out there struggling with their mental health, I have three

things to say to you.

A load of shit.

Hello.

Right, ladies.

Who'd like some tea?

There you go.

There you go, Lizzie.

Mary, do you want to pass me a cup?

Lovely.

Jim, could you bring the milk jug through, please?

There you go, bursty girls.

Wish Brian and Debbie. They'll be here soon, Mum.

Oh, good.

You said there'd be alcohol.

Who has a birthday without bubbly? What now?

Ice cream and jelly?

I am not sitting drinking tea all day.

Hi, Jim.

You behave yourself.

Brian.

Happy birthday, Gran.

Oh, Rose.

It's your grandson.

He's grown to be a fine young man.

Bet the girls are all after you.

And he's single.

And he's looking for a young lady. So you're in luck, Lizzie.

Join the queue, Lizzie.

Good for him.

You all right, Dad?

All right, son.

I'm off to the pub.

These are your gran's friends.

They all go to a group run by a charity called Contact the Elderly.

Volunteers like Jill and Alex, they pick up elderly people who don't get out

very much and they take them to someone's house for a tea party.

Isn't that lovely?

Yeah, great, yeah.

Brian, your mum's been telling us about your friend Dave from school. I'm really

sorry to hear about him.

Are you okay?

Yeah. I didn't really know him. Such a shame. His poor wife and kids.

You just never know what's going on in people's heads.

Don't even admit that there's a problem. That's the real issue here. There is

always a problem.

Men need to know it's okay to ask for help.

I mean, that is what we should be encouraging.

We try to teach it in our schools, but it's the parents who tell them boys

shouldn't cry.

Men should be strong. What hope do they have?

Oh, it's so wrong.

They're friends and family. You know, they should be the people that they can

tell anything to.

Connecting with people, well, that's what makes us happy.

No man is a failure who has friends.

Oh, that's lovely.

Is that from the Bible?

No, it's from It's a Wonderful Life. It's Alex's favourite film. I watch it

every Christmas.

Right, let's go through and eat.

Oh, Debbie!

Hi, Mum.

Oh, how is my little grandson?

Oh, Oliver's great.

I'm knackered.

I told you, whenever you need a hand, just give me a ring.

Oh, no, thanks, Mum. I can manage.

If you could just take him for a minute, that would be great.

Come here, Gran.

Who's my lovely big boy?

Yes. Brian.

I've got something for you, Gran. It's in the garage.

Do you mind grabbing it?

Yeah.

Sweetheart.

Easy.

Don't get far.

Hello. Lovely.

Hello.

Oh, he's got beautiful eyes.

Here we go. For the birthday girl.

Oh, you shouldn't. Oh, Brian, you shouldn't have.

Well, you enjoy.

Well, ladies, I don't think we'll make it to the bingo tonight.

See you, Brian.

Towards my phone cake, Kevin called.

Why is he not here?

He's in Singapore.

Still busy right now. I haven't even heard from him today.

Anyway, what have you been up to?

Nothing much, just working.

You not last night?

No, I had a really fancy drinking on my own.

Well, what about Mark?

Mark is a junkie now.

Caught up in the wrong crowd.

No way.

Yeah, way.

He's like something out of The Walking Dead.

That's so sad.

Speaking of the walking dead, Gran looks good for her age.

Gran looks better than you right now. Shut up. It's true.

Motherhood has aged you, Deborah.

Well, motherhood is actually a lot harder than you'd ever think.

Why don't you come round and see for yourself?

And what, talk to Kevin about how huge his motor is? It's not my fault that I

married a very successful man.

And anyway, come on, it would be nice if all he got to know was Uncle.

All right.

I've been working a lot.

Exactly. That's why it's time to get a proper job.

Oh, I see. Like Kevin, super businessman, who's never home.

You're a dick.

Listen,

thanks again for having us.

It was lovely to have you. You know, I think I might consider becoming a

volunteer. Well, let me know.

I will do. Bye.

Bye.

Oh, is that your B2 thing?

Yeah. You have to do.

What's that?

It's nothing.

Thanks for coming.

Don't leave it so long next time, hmm?

Well, I... I'll see you later.

Everything okay, son?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

You all right now, son?

You all

right?

Hey.

Hey, you're all right.

Come on.

Let's get you up.

Hey. Come on.

Are you ready?

Is she here?

Yeah.

Are you going to be okay?

I really want to do it.

I'm just fucking terrified.

Well, that's not a bad thing.

You're scared.

But you're still here.

It's a pretty good payoff, I think.

They wouldn't even know if I was gone.

Oh, come on, I don't believe that.

What about your mum?

She'd be heartbroken, no?

Oh, there's me.

Look, suicide, that's permanent.

No going back.

What you're feeling just now is temporary.

Well, what I'm feeling now, I feel all the time.

God, what age are you?

You've not been around long enough to fuck your life up that bad.

You know what?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm sorry.

Right?

Why don't we just ask you one question?

Fine. Why do you smell like old granny perfume?

What? You been at the bingo?

You smell like an old woman.

Oh, you be careful with that laugh and you might just enjoy yourself.

I'll tell you what.

I'm going to do you a deal.

I want to be your friend.

And all you have to do is show up.

Can you do that?

I can try.

I'm Jeff.

I'm Brian.

Sorry I bring you night.

No, don't you be sorry.

Yeah.

Put your number in there.

Right. Come on.

I'm going to call you later.

Make sure you're okay.

And I'm going to call you tomorrow to make sure you're okay.

I'm going to keep calling you until you're okay.

Okay?

Okay.

Now don't you go and do something fucking stupid, do you hear me?

Yeah. Aye.

Now you go.

Get some sleep.

Everything's going to be alright.

Thanks very much.

You're very welcome, Brian.

Come on.

Everything's going to be okay.

You claim you think me?

I thought we had an agreement that you were gonna help me first.

I'm fucking trying.

Hello? Hi, it's Geoff.

You OK?

Yeah, I'm OK, thanks.

Good.

I'm just checking in.

I'll call you tomorrow morning, OK?

OK.

Bye. Bye.

These long, hard days are going to

fade away.

Hi, Ger.

Yeah, I'm good, thanks.

OK. See you tomorrow.

Got you a present.

Thanks very much.

Ah, what's wrong with you?

Did you get some action at the weekend?

Who is she? He?

Come on, Bill.

I was at my grand 70th.

Ah, so you like older women.

Shame.

Oh, come on, I'm only joking.

You okay?

Can I ask you a favour?

Oh, intriguing. Go on.

I need a night out.

Is that it?

Well, you have come to the right person. And I am very experienced at going out,

and I'll be very gentle with you. Look, I'm being serious.

I know.

Just try lighting the mood.

You want to connect with people. I mean, I get that. I love connecting with

people.

I've connected with a lot of people. Oh, really?

Why don't we go to that new club in town?

They do half -price cocktails until ten.

No. No, no. No club. Just a pub somewhere. It's fine.

I know the perfect place.

Oh! It's time to get into the fifth of spirit.

Be careful.

Be careful.

Can I help you there?

I'm so sorry. It's just... Oh, don't worry about it.

I will.

What should I mean?

I don't have it. You don't need it.

Have you been a good boy?

She would put you on the good list. The nice list, don't we?

She would tell Santa your mum's on the nice list as well.

Here.

Oh, look.

All the way from Santa.

That's me, Ronnie. That's you. Merry Christmas.

Thanks for that.

Shall we go and put our decorations up?

Yeah.

Oh, you can't appear decorations up there, are you?

Aye. As soon as it's December, you can put them up. No, no, 12 days before.

No, no, cos then you've got them 12 days after.

I take my name for New Year.

It's just, it's nice to have a fresh start.

That sounds good.

Right, we'd better go.

Thanks again.

Say thank you.

Bye!

Well, I take that. Say bye.

Say bye.

It's all right. Bye -bye.

Let's go then. Thanks then.

It's all right. Merry Christmas.

What are you up to today, then, mate?

Nothing.

See you later.

You can run, mate, but you can't hide.

Hey, where you going?

I don't know, Jeff.

Come on, it'll be fine.

I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't think you'd enjoy it.

Come on, come in with me.

Come on, it's freezing. Hurry up.

How are you? You all right?

Come on.

That was it.

You OK?

Yeah. Come on.

They don't bite.

Most of them don't even have teeth.

Fair warning, though, it might get a bit rowdy this afternoon. We've got an

entertainer coming in.

How do you feel about Tom Jones?

All right.

I'm going to need you to fill out a PVG form so that you can volunteer properly.

But for now, just hang out, see how the place works, OK?

This is one of our staff, Marie. She works here.

Hiya.

And this is Callum.

Hiya, I'm Callum. Callum is also staff.

Brian's thinking about volunteering, Callum. What do you think of that?

Welcome to the madhouse.

Thanks for that, Callum.

There's other staff in the kitchen, but you'll meet them later, OK?

Where's my gran? Who?

Rose. Oh, Rose, it's lovely.

Why don't you take a treat with your gran? I'll go and find out where Phoebe

Sparkles has got to. All right?

Hi, Gran.

Brian, what are you doing here?

I've come to volunteer.

I just need to get checked out first.

Checked out for what?

A criminal check, just to make sure I'm not here to steal all your cash.

If you were one of them, you'd be bombarding me with emails and junk mail.

You haven't got any criminal convictions, have you?

You can tell me. I'll not tell your mum.

No, Gran, I don't.

Why do you?

Not anymore.

At my age, they wipe the slate clean.

Who's this young man trying to steal my woman?

Arthur, sit down. This is my grandson, Brian. He's come to visit.

Oh, that's OK, then.

Do you jive, son?

Er, no.

Do you know who Elvis is?

Yes. He sings and plays the guitar.

Do you know Jailhouse Rock?

Yeah. So sorry.

Stevie sparkled it here soon. He always plays it for her. He's our favourite

entertainer. Right. Thank God I got a new hip before I met your gran.

Now I can do the hippy hippy shake.

This guy your boyfriend?

Yes, we've been together for six months.

What?

You don't think it's the young with the Netflix and chills?

It's the happiest I've been since I lost your grandpa 20 years ago.

Holding his hand makes me happy.

Touch of him fills me with joy.

Everyone needs someone to hug now and again.

You look as if you could do with a hug.

There's Lizzie.

She'll give you a hug.

Hi, Brian.

God, she terrifies me.

Is he anyone?

Thank you, Sam.

Hello.

Are you stalking me?

No, I'm just making sure you're still on the nice list.

How come you're here?

I've just come to volunteer.

Really? Why?

Younger folk never volunteer, especially men.

So then we're both exceptions?

Oh, well, I'm staff, I'm paid to be here, and I'm not a man.

And clearly not young.

Cheeky. So when did David Parker get here?

Oh, he stuck in traffic, but he never made it last time.

I thought Elvis had actually died.

Poor Geoff, how do you sing a few songs?

Brian can sing and play until he comes.

No, Gran.

Do you sing?

No, I used to play guitar.

And sing.

He knows Dale has rock.

Yeah, but I don't play any more. Why not?

Because I don't want to.

Well, that's not a good enough reason.

Ladies and gentlemen, as you may have heard, Stevie Spackles is stuck in

traffic. Oh, but calm down, it's OK, cos in the meantime, we have entertainment

from... Sorry, what's your name again? Brian.

Brian!

Come on, we've no got long.

Sorry.

It's a song.

And this is...

Are you all right?

Yeah. I just need some air.

I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to stress you out. It's fine.

I just haven't played in ages.

Here.

This will cheer you up.

I'm surprised you've still got this.

Oh, it's not the same one.

That's my secret stash.

Thank you.

So, does that put me on the naughty list?

Well... I need to go get my son soon.

Come on, let's go back inside.

I hate it when you play without me.

Tell me what to do.

I am so excited about this.

You're gonna love it.

I don't know.

I've not gone out in ages.

Why?

I just find it really stressful.

Well, luckily for you, I'm on hand to help if things get a bit too much.

What if it's really busy?

Doubt it.

What if it's too loud?

It's no rave.

What if there's a fight, Gavin?

Then I'll bitch slap every last one of them.

What if everyone ends up... We're just going out for a couple of drinks.

It's a good thing.

We are social animals.

And we need each other.

So tonight you are not sitting at home on your own flicking through plastic.

Or what?

Sitting at home with your carnival you both flick through plastic.

No. Tonight we are going to try the old fashioned approach.

And actually speak to people.

And have a laugh.

So come on.

Let's make some new memories before our dementia kicks in.

Raise a toast to the old family And read and drink

till we all feel safe Just breathe, Ty, we'll be fine.

No, this is too busy.

This is hell. No.

Hell shut down a year ago.

This is heaven.

Karaoke's a timeless pastime.

Like reading a book for people with a personality.

I think I'm going to have a heart attack.

I'll get you a drink to calm your nerves. Go on, grab yourself a seat.

They have no idea who is coming close to the house where

nobody goes.

The introduction to the penalty is so cold.

It's simply a vacancy.

No pictures on the wall, not a memory.

But there is hope.

There is hope.

There you go. That in your neck

Teeth, faces filled with chemistry And we are sold We are sold

We know it's only balls But we are opening doors As our

stacked up boxes fill the sanded floors Only time will tell what we

have got in store As we unpack things that we have found before

The cracks, the knots

Great.

Going up to the little boy's room.

I saw you coming in.

Oh, yeah.

That was amazing.

Thanks.

Do you hate working at Elvis impersonation?

Oh, no. Too many of them.

Rod Stewart instead.

Oh, nice.

Have you ever written a song?

Me? No.

So, where's Jeff?

Oh, he never comes out.

He just gets hassled.

Why would Jeff get hassled?

Well, you do know that Jeff is... Pulled already?

I think he's then like Ora.

Sam. Gavin.

Gavin's my mate.

Oof.

Overwhelmed by that declaration.

Hiya. Nice to meet you.

So, how do you two know each other?

Well... Hey, Brian's here.

Hey.

Hiya. Hi. Gavin.

I'm Callum. Nice to meet you. Do you want to sing a karaoke?

No, thanks.

You?

Did the Pope shit in the web?

Let's go.

Are you okay?

Yeah, why?

It's just that's the second time I've seen you taking deep breaths.

I hope you wouldn't notice.

Do you take drugs?

What? Just to let you know anxiety and that's related to drugs. Do you do

No. Well, I smoked weed years ago, but no.

Well, how long has that been happening?

Over a year.

Eye contact.

It's good.

Makes you feel more confident.

Am I that bad to look at?

Of course not.

Look, I had postnatal depression.

And I was lucky because I hit rock bottom.

What's the alternative?

Some people just keep falling.

But as they say, the past is not equal to the future.

You're some kind of motivational guru.

No, just something that's been fucked over and won't let it happen again.

And if you're lucky, some of my positivity may rub off on you.

That would be nice.

Right, shall I put you up?

What about Mariah Carey? I don't want to sing.

Well, they could.

I'm not going to make you sing this time.

Fucking hate Mariah Carey.

Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers.

OK,

next up, we've got Gavin and Callum.

I hope it's not another Christmas song. I haven't, but come on, tell them.

Let's do it, Gavin.

He's still getting on well.

So, I take it you're not a fan of Christmas?

No, it's alright.

Don't you tell me it's fine.

Let's just watch them take it out of festive spirit.

Jimmy Kimmel.

Such a good night.

I needed that.

Oh, my God.

I've just thought of something.

What?

You're not taking deep breaths anymore.

Oh, I think that that's the alcohol.

That's weird.

You have traces.

Definitely the best night out I've had in a while.

What are you doing next Friday?

I can't. Sorry, I thought that's... No, I'm sorry. I can't. I can't.

Thank you.

There he is.

Oh, hiya.

You were out dancing the other night.

As usual, please, Aaron.

I actually quite enjoyed myself.

I'm glad to hear you're getting out and about, son.

You OK?

I'm grand.

You?

Yeah.

Geoff, have you ever wanted to...

Kill myself?

You joking? I was married for 12 years.

Look, Brian, I wish I could tell you that I've been in your position, but

not what happened to me.

I had a great life.

Beautiful wife.

I ran a multi -million pound business.

That's been difficult, losing all that money.

Aye. It would have been, if I lost it.

So why does a millionaire work in a daycare centre?

I own the daycare centre, Brian. I built it.

Hold on.

You were a... You are a millionaire.

And you gave it all up to build a daycare centre for old folk. Why?

I had everything.

But... I wasn't happy.

My life was... It was empty.

Why were you not happy?

Because I had a shitload of expectation and very little appreciation.

And what happened?

My wife divorced me.

I went after Ailes for a bit.

Then I just sold the company and moved here.

Soon after that, my dad fell ill, so I moved him here to look after him. That's

when I realised there was really nothing here for the elderly.

So I approached the council and offered to build the centre.

Wow.

That's really generous.

It's the best thing I ever did.

Gave my life purpose.

I hope I feel like that one day.

I was nearly 40 before I changed my situation, Brian.

It was a long road for me.

Nothing worthwhile happens overnight.

Just take the time to work through everything.

It's okay to ask for help. And it's okay to feel down. It's not the end of the

world. Or at least it shouldn't be.

Right. Good.

How about a wee bit of cake to celebrate?

What are we celebrating like?

Life, Brian.

Life. Well, after that story, you're paying.

Two very small pieces of cake, please, Aaron.

Speak later.

Look at my hand.

There's your hand there.

There's your speed. Do you mean there's your speed?

Silly you. Silly you.

Silly you.

Hi Jake.

Can I help you there?

Oh, I think you don't need to have to. That's cool, I want to.

Hiya. Shall we see if we can fill this up?

Oh, it's good to see you.

Right, what do we do first then?

Whoa!

Right,

you ready? You help me.

One, two, three.

Do we need to do anything else?

Mm -hmm.

What do we need to do?

We're doing it.

Tap it.

Tap, tap, tap. The magic tap, and then we go one.

Wow! Look at that!

Sorry,

I didn't mean to interrupt.

No, it's good to see you.

Yeah, you too.

Sorry about the other night. That was... Oh, look, it was a really great night.

As you can see, I've already got a man in my life and he's just got to come

first.

I get it.

You think we can be friends?

Of course.

Well, Jake's gone to Zanna's house just now, so do you want to grab a coffee?

Yeah, that'd be good. Yeah?

Good. Okay.

Slipping a bit? Yeah.

See you later.

Thanks.

So how long have you worked at the centre?

in about six months.

Yeah, I started it just after my mum died.

I'm sorry to hear that.

No, it's fine.

She had cancer.

How's your dad coping?

Well, my dad didn't know that existed until a few years ago, so I've just been

trying to build a relationship with him.

Have you got any family?

Um, yeah.

Mum, dad, sister.

My gran.

My gran's now a boyfriend, I think.

So, what made you volunteer at the centre?

Jeff.

He thought it would be good for me.

So, Jake's at his gran's, did you say?

Yep. It's, um, Simon's mum.

Simon's... He's my ex.

Sorry. This is none of my business.

No, it's fine.

Can I ask you something?

Yeah.

Do you ever get lonely?

Well, last Christmas, it was great.

watching Jake open a million presents.

It was lovely.

But, you know, it was really sad.

I had nothing to open and... It would have been nice to share that with

And do you know you actually have to build a kid's bike?

Your John?

No, he came the other day and I bought... Like, I can't build a bike.

Here, I'll help you.

I'll build a bike.

Have you ever built a bike?

Well, no.

I mean, how hard can it be?

I'm sure Santa will bring the instructions, eh?

That would be great.

Well, do you fancy coming over on Tuesday night?

Yeah. Yeah? Yeah.

OK.

Good.

Peace. You Brian?

Yeah.

You're playing hard to families with my missus.

What? I don't give a fuck what Sam wants.

As if she wants to fuck.

But I'm not having you playing daddy to my son.

That's not what I'm trying to do.

Good.

Fucking keep it that way.

You all right, mate?

Yeah.

Does he really need the brakes?

I used to just put my foot in the back wheel when I was wee.

Ach, nah. Got a helmet. Fine.

I'll... I'm gonna do that.

Alright.

Great left this earlier.

I thought I'd better drop it off in case he asks.

Thanks.

I'm not interrupting you.

No, no, I'm just busy writing presents.

Is there anything else?

Good wonder.

It's mine.

And if you go, I could answer it.

Fine.

What a wanker.

Yeah, no worries.

Thanks for the tea.

Do you fancy going for something even Friday?

Jake's at Nana's, so we'll have to be on the off.

Yeah. Yeah, that'd be cool.

Cool. Well, Friday?

Yeah, see you Friday.

Brilliant.

Cool. See you later. Thank you.

Hello?

Hello. What's going on here?

Just grab a seat and, yeah, lunch is nearly ready. You've got something on

top there, haven't you?

I'm covered in shit.

Literally.

Covered in shit making the lunch.

Lovely.

Well, I'm trying to put the tree up for Kevin coming back tomorrow, but I

just... I can't get a minute with Ollie here.

Hello.

Seen a little bit of Uncle Brian?

Here.

It's freshly milked from the finest cow.

Debbie, I'm not going to... Oh, come on. It's not rocket science. If you feed

him, then I will get the food ready.

Here goes.

So, how's work?

Yeah, it's good.

I'm actually thinking of going to college.

Oh, that's great.

I've got a date as well. Well, I hope it's a date.

Oh, really?

Yeah. Yeah, I met her at the... Well, I've met her a few times.

Sorry. Can't be hungry again.

I fed you, like, five minutes ago.

It's life, though, eh?

Sleep, eat, eat, sleep.

Yeah.

Someone to bath you, dress you and wipe your bum.

Do everything.

Sorry.

I don't mean to moan, I'm just really tired.

Don't worry about it.

So, your date, when is it?

Tomorrow night.

When does Kevin go home?

Tomorrow night.

So maybe we both get lucky.

I think I'd rather just sleep.

Would you do me a massive favour?

Would you make me a cup of tea and let me drink it while it's hot?

Okay, yeah.

Thanks.

hey mate see you later

don't

go please I think it's a really bad idea

I want to.

Oh, yeah.

God, you look amazing.

Oh, thanks.

I'll get your chair.

It's so cold out there. Oh, thank you.

I cannot believe it is nearly Christmas.

Is Jake all excited?

Oh, yeah, like, he totally gets it now. It's great.

Sorry, can I just lay down some ground rules?

Dominant. I like it.

Right, let's look at them.

Now, look at him.

Can we just make a rule? Just never look at a phone during a meal.

OK. Why?

Well, what are they looking at? It's just... A carefully edited version of

lives so they look happy.

What do you mean?

Look at them.

They're that busy trying to connect with everyone else. They're not even

connecting with each other.

I mean, do they look happy?

I'm not saying you can't go on your phone. I don't mean that.

I'm just saying that, like... Sam, I'm not on that anymore.

Did you see a picture of your ex with a new girlfriend, like five minutes after

he's got up?

Did you?

Yep. How long?

One week.

What a wanker. Exactly.

Thank you.

Here's your drink. Thank you.

Can I get a Prosecco, please? Mm -hm.

Thanks.

Is there anything I need to tell you?

Yeah, what?

A couple of weeks ago...

A couple of weeks ago, I tried to kill myself.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... Don't close your eyes.

I think this is really brave.

You're the first person I've told.

Are you ready to order?

Oh, could we get a few more minutes, please? Yeah, I'll come back. Thank you.

That's one way to kill a conversation.

That is the best meal I have had in ages.

I'm going to be eating too much though.

I think it might be all the Prosecco.

You going to get...

Do you want to go for a drink?

No.

I'd love a cup of tea.

Oh, it is so cold.

I can't deal with this.

All right, all right, all right.

What do you want? I fucking warned you.

I don't know who you think you are, but don't fuck with me again.

Do you understand?

Debbie. What's wrong? Is it Ollie?

No.

He's fine. He's probably just fucking hungry as fucking usual.

What's wrong?

I can't.

I've had enough.

I can't take anymore.

What's brought this on?

Everything.

I do nothing.

I have no life, no money, no job. I just sit in this fucking house and look

after a fucking baby.

And nobody helps me.

Does my husband come over from work to see me, to see your child? No, because

he's... He's just too busy sleeping with his fucking assistant.

How do you know he's cheating on you?

Because he sent me the wrong text.

She is so dramatic.

Just punch her in the fucking face.

You don't believe me?

Of course I do.

But you've got to think of Ollie. He needs you right now.

No, he doesn't.

I feed him all day.

I look after him all day. What does he do? He just fucking cries.

Everyone else loves being mums. They're so happy.

Poor wee Princess Debbie.

Listen, Debbie.

There's one thing I've learnt.

It's that everyone's life is shit one way or another.

Everyone isn't happy.

Stop believing what you're reading online. It's all lies and you know it

You've just had a baby.

Supposed to be the happiest time of your life. And look at you.

Stop, Foddy.

I'm not laughing.

Kevin is a prick.

Kevin has always been a prick.

But you're not alone.

You want Mad's life?

You put that fucking phone away and start living your life for Ollie.

Because he is amazing And he loves you He does, you might not see

it right now but one day He's going Trust me

He cries all day for you He wants all day for you

He does He loves you Debbie

And he's not going anywhere

Do you hear me?

Ryan? No

answer.

Hi, Sam.

Leave a message.

No.

She'll call back.

Merry Christmas.

Gavin, I need a favour.

Oh, no.

What happened to you?

You bring back happy, Brian?

Look, we're having a Christmas concert at the centre on Tuesday and I need an

MC.

I would love to.

Oh, my God. I know what I'm going to wear already.

I'm going to go for a festive scene, maybe get some tinfoil across the... You

OK?

How did your big date go?

Yeah, really well.

I spent the night with her.

Oh, check you.

See, I knew there was a tiger inside you.

And now she won't speak to me.

What did you do?

I went back before she woke up.

What's that?

Not only wankers do that, and you are not a wanker. I didn't want to leave

but I had to go and help my sister.

Are you going to make it up to her?

Start with the basics.

Send her some flowers with a heartfelt message.

And you apologise to her face.

She won't listen.

See you later, OK?

Aye, OK.

What do you think?

Great, I love it.

Thank you.

Do you want to put on a brand?

Yeah, sure.

Great.

No,

no, no, leave the chocolate ones, they're mine.

I think we've found the name.

Oh, Mum, tell them to stop it!

Oh, no!

What have we done?

All right.

Sam, wait.

Don't speak to me. Just let me explain.

Look, you got what you wanted and you fucked off.

That's not what happened.

I had to go and help my sister.

Your sister?

What, you had to help your sister in the middle of the night?

Don't, Brian.

I actually... I actually thought we had something.

We did.

Just leave me alone.

Gran, I'll leave you a little seat over here next to Arthur.

Oh, thank you, son.

We're here to support you, son.

I really appreciate it, Mum. Thanks.

Is she here?

Yeah.

Through there.

Still not talking to me.

Don't worry.

Come on, you can't give up now.

Grab a seat. It's about to start.

You're all looking fantastic.

Please join me in welcoming the host for our Christmas extravaganza this

afternoon. Mr Gavin Spence, put your hands together.

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much for joining us here

today. We are so happy to have you.

Now, today we are going to... Oh, news just in.

Theresa May has been sacked as the Nativity Manager.

She couldn't run a stable government.

Now, you may recognise this face from Turnbull's hardware store.

I'm sorry I was late. It was just Simon let me down again and I had to take Jake

to a friend's house. It's fine, it's fine.

You spoke to Brian? He was looking for you the other day.

Nope.

What's going on with you two?

I don't want to talk about it.

That wasn't a loan. It's a gift for you and Jake for Christmas. I don't want

your money.

I know you don't want my money.

But you're my daughter.

I know it's not the most imaginative gift I could have given you, but I want

help out and I want to... Please, just take it.

Thank you.

Come here.

Merry Christmas.

I love you. What a whole load of sanding paper.

And you attacked me with it.

Don't worry, I'm fine.

You just roughed me up a bit.

Now I understand why he's angry though. He was telling me that a lot of people

mistake him for a pig.

I said, frankly, my dear, I don't give a ham.

Now, that's enough from me. Now you all have a very special guest with you this

afternoon. Please give a very warm welcome to Santa Stevie!

Yeah? Hi, I'm Debbie, Brian's sister.

Sorry to ambush you, I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

Brian said you had a really good night the other night and, well, I had a bit

an episode. Brian came to my rescue.

What was your episode?

I found out my husband's having an affair.

I'm sorry I didn't.

I just thought you were covering for him because he's your brother.

No, I wouldn't do that

I just couldn't take anymore.

Forgive me, Delilah. I just couldn't take anymore.

We have a debut performance Please put your hands together for Brian Dean

Hi

everyone

As you all know, I'm Brian.

And I've been working here for a few weeks now.

Before I started working here... Oh, here's my phone.

Oh, it's your new wee boyfriend singing a song.

Come on now, let's hear it.

I've told you before.

This is my centre. You're no welcome here. Now get out.

All right, Daddy Warlocks.

The term has gone nowhere with you.

You're drunk, Simon.

So either leave or I call the police.

Again.

Sorry about that, folks.

When you go, Brian?

First of all, you should know that the only reason I'm here today is because of

Jeff.

Thank you for everything.

You made me... You made me live my life properly.

You made me be thankful.

Well, this one's for someone special.

You know who you are.

Tried to find the words to say how I've been.

But they're all trapped within this shell.

But I can write this song.

And I want to let you know you saved me. And you make me feel like I'm alive.

Every day I can smile again.

Pray to God that I would find a friend.

Thought the emptiness would never end, but it's you I live for now.

When you first kissed me in that streetlight, you turned my

whole world upside down.

It made me feel like I had something to live for.

It made me turn this life around.

I know the road is long.

As long as you are walking with me, there's no turning back this time.

Every day I can smile again.

Pray to God that I will find a friend.

Thought the emptiness would never end, but it's you I live for.

The last few years have been hard, I know.

Never thought that I would feel so low. With you here, I got the chance to show

that it's you.

Did you write that for me?

Yeah. Writing it was easy, but singing it, that's a different story.

It was amazing.

What does this mean, I've got to buy you a Christmas present?

I'm pretty good with what I've got now.

How am I going to explain to Jake that you're not an elf?

Oh.

We're good, right?

Thanks so much.

So happy.

I feel like they can do.

Here.

I've got something here for you as well.

Oh, thank you.

Just don't open it in front of my mum.

OK.

Is that you?

Oh, God, yeah.

1988's Bonnie's baby.

Oh, you're a cute baby.

That's my brother, Eric.

I don't need a brother. Why didn't you say?

Eric killed himself last year.

He threw himself off the cliffs at the ruins.

I'm so sorry, Ryan.

I'm not doing so hard for you.

Because we don't talk about it.

We don't ever mention it, not in front of Mum.

I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you, especially on Christmas Day. I'm so

sorry.

Is this it?

Really?

Some shit champagne and people pretending that we're all happy

I mean, if you're happy with it, I mean, as long as you're happy.

We should talk about it.

Anyway, I've got you now, and you are a very good distraction.

A distraction?

Oh, thanks. How romantic.

Well, I can't think of anybody better to be distracted by.

Ah, to young love.

Right, everybody through to the dining room. Come on.

Oh, Brian, your dad's busy with the dinner. Do you think you could pop out

the garage and get some more beers?

Yeah, sure.

My baby brother.

Here at last.

I didn't want to do that.

Should I never listen to you?

Thank you.

The snow looks so much whiter on the ground

And the love around the fire

could be found The

trees seem so much greener every year

so clear but I can't seem to

explain it I'll usually shed a tear

Christmas was much better with you here

the cold with all the

sledding what a thrill

The bells at twelve were ringing and we

cheered.

Feel empty when it's near Christmas was

much better with you here

Yeah, Christmas was much

better with you here