Original subtitles

you want, Barry?

Mr. Mayne sent me, sir.

What for?

Speaking of someone in the playground, sir. It was an accident.

Mr. Mayne sent me.

In many ways, this school is like the nation.

There are far too many people who are content to get away with 7 out of 10,

with more attention, more concentration, with harder work, these people

could easily get 8 out of 10 and higher.

Not that I will be thanked for pointing that out to them or for pushing them

forward when the going gets tough. No.

I calculate that the difference...

between being a great nation and being a mediocre nation lies somewhere

between nine and seven out of ten.

Good morning, Miss Roberts. Good morning, Mr. Rickards.

Very, very nice.

I am addressing only a small minority among you.

What I want to say to that minority is stop.

Think.

What I want to say to all of you is how glad I am to be here with you this

morning.

The British system of policing relies heavily on your...

cooperation and approval.

When you leave this city, you will all become citizens in our society.

And as citizens, you will all have an active role to play. Local bank manager.

What's he doing?

He's offering him interest -free loans for the first three years after they

leave school.

Pay it back out for the dull money.

The laws of our country.

are not designed to oppress, but to safeguard your freedoms.

What's brought all this on?

The Eighth Commandment. Thou shalt not nick from the local pack he sweeps off.

The incredible bulk behind you.

Who?

Every member of society.

If a person sees a crime being committed,

Hey! Hey, man!

What's your cock? So what are you complaining about?

No, what class are you? B1, sir.

What are you doing here?

Chucked out.

And cheeky. And stupid, sir.

Turn up, sir.

I do believe you're right, brother.

And the first thing to do when converting to a different base is to

your column.

Converted to base 5, we start off with units, and then...

Into the number you're trying to convert.

625 obviously does not go.

125 does not go.

25 does go. So you have one left over.

One left over. Five doesn't go into one, so we have a north.

And then one does...

I want you all to come over to this side of the class.

Quietly!

Whatever is done in this class will be done quietly.

Right.

Down there, at the gate, if you cannot see, Margaret, come and stand here. You

all right, Danny? Yes, sir. Come and stand here, please. I don't want to

with you about it.

Take a good look.

Down there, hanging around for no good reason, can be seen a colourful

of those among us who failed to acquire qualifications before setting foot in

the real world.

As you can see... John McCarthy got a CSE.

Margaret, a CSE is to a no level what lard is to butter.

These people are reduced to hanging around the school gate, looking back on

opportunities.

Sit down, quietly.

I have no time for failures.

Noise and disorder are the enemies of learning.

There is going to be order in this class.

And there is going to be discipline.

Because this class is going to leave the protection of this school with the

requisite minimum number of O -levels beneath its belt.

The choice is work or the rabble.

Any person anxious to join the rabble may do so now.

We have wasted time.

I lost my timetable and I had to go and get another one from the office.

Just like trying to get an interview with the Pope.

Right. My name is Jeff Figg. I know all the gags about figs, most of them

filthy. I'll tell you them all one day. I haven't taught you a lot before. I've

only been here a term and a half.

Are you going to sit in your seats or are we all going to come and sit on the

windowsill?

To do wee -wee, sir.

Have you got your matches and are you coming back?

I've got big matches to do wee -wee, sir. Well, let's not get into that now.

What's your name?

Wee -wee, sir.

Right, you'd better go and do your wee -wee.

Wee -wee. Wee -wee. Wee -wee. Wee -wee.

Hello, where have you been?

To see Fitz.

Right. Sit down. What's your name?

Brent Stinson.

No, it's Pfizer, sir. Shut up.

OK,

what were you working on last term, before half -term, that is?

Who taught you last term?

Mr Bartholomew. No, it wasn't. It was Mr Bartholomew, clever sod.

We had Mr Bartholomew, and then we had Mr Weir, and then he was swapped over

with... What was her name?

I don't know, do I?

Miss Dunn. Miss Dunn. Yeah, she'd been done.

Clever sod.

So, you had different teachers.

What did I just say?

What do you do with these teachers?

Shut them out.

I'm a teacher with books.

What do you do?

Copying out.

That's what we do. We do copying out.

What? I don't know.

Do you have a textbook? What do you copy out?

A book.

What book? What is it called?

Hard Times.

You're joking.

Hard Times?

Yes, Hard Times.

Who's that by?

Who wrote it?

class as a general question do you know who wrote hard time you're the bloody

teacher you ought to know i just copied it out does anybody

here know who wrote hard time

I thought you were in the lab.

It turned out better to be in... This is your rural studies room? Yes.

When taking a science class, I think it's better to be in the science

laboratory. It's less confusing all round. We have discussed it before.

Yes.

Do you have a quick period?

Yes.

I'd like a talk in, say, five minutes?

Where? Here?

Start room.

requirement.

royal pudding, you can all write this down,

225 grams of flour,

170 grams of suet, 4 eggs.

I've been looking through C1's books, Tom, and you've not been marking them.

I have marked the books.

Well, let's take a look, shall we?

Here, random.

It's a very shoddy work.

Is this John Langley, is it? Yes, he's a bright boy. It would help me if you put

these in alphabetical order.

You say he's a bright boy, but his book's a mess.

I can hardly read his name. There's graffiti on the counter.

Isn't it more important he gets down what he's trying to say?

No.

The first priority is that he understands the rudiments of the

If he's simply writing down what you've written on the blackboard, he's not

trying to say anything, is he?

There's no excuse for shoddy work.

Wait a minute.

Let's not get sidetracked.

Point is, there are no marks in his book.

Yes, there are marks.

Show me.

Here.

Good work.

Another there. I've got a book on this. Ask me.

Those are not marks, Tom.

You mean great.

Sorry, I'll say that again.

You have not been grading the books, have you?

No, I have not been grading the books, but I have been marking them. From now

on, please grade their work.

You want me to rank them, put them into order?

Yes, and I want you to test them this week.

I've prepared the questions.

No further preparation is required.

I only took on science as a second subject to help out the department.

I teach rural studies.

That's my subject. I'm finished yet, Tom.

We have to pick over the sticky subject of sex.

in your yoke.

What to? What to? What to? What to? What to? Faster!

Come on, Scott!

Scott, move!

Come on!

What to?

Armitage!

Armitage!

Where's your thinglet, Armitage? Lost, sir. Lost?

Lost? My class takes pride in its appearance, boy.

Quickly, it goes lumpy.

You should know that.

Yes? What's your name?

Yes,

darling, what is it?

Why are we watching, miss?

Watching what?

Watching you make the pudding, miss.

Last term, were you to make things?

Last term, the school could afford to subsidise your parents to let you make

things. And this term, it can't.

This term, you're lucky you can watch me make things.

And I'm lucky to be here to make them.

When you see me coming, you stand up, right?

Right? Yes. And you do as you're told, because I stick my pen right up your

arse, and I bloody mean it.

And you call me Baron, right?

Call me Baron now.

Do it!

Baron. Say, yes, Baron.

Yes, Baron.

And you play your sub.

That's temporary. Any time I ask for it, I just cut your stupid cock off.

At the end of the week, there is going to be a test.

I am writing a list on the board of subjects upon which you will be tested

together with the questions.

If you wish to do well in the test, write down the list together

with the questions and prepare your answers.

If anybody needs help, ask me or help each other.

There's this quantum dribble.

Boo, Faisal and company, the team of the A -Stream, flowing in and out of my

class, down here to get their arses whacked.

Then don't send them.

I don't send them. It's not me. It's for crimes committed while in the act of

studying wool yields in Australia and math.

Why can't people keep their kids straight?

It's all in the staff handbook. Tony Kitchen and me, the two debit

are the official whackers, and no other people can lay a hand on the pupil's

heart.

It's all in the book.

There's always a bigger queue outside your door.

Griff's life's in there, and I've lost it.

Tony takes his work more seriously.

He takes a run -up before he lays it on.

It's buggering up my class as well.

What do you want, John?

Mr. James sent me to you, sir. What for?

Eating, sir.

Eating? Eating in class, were you?

Yes. And what were you eating?

Chewing gum and chocolate, sir. Together?

Yes. And have you done this before in class?

Yes. And Mr. James caught you and warned you before, did he?

Yes. And for talking.

He told me to tell you I'm a blabbermouth.

A what?

A blabbermouth.

Well, you don't.

Now, it's to me, John, but then who am I to contradict Mr. James?

You're in the first year, aren't you?

Yes. And you're 12 years old.

Yes. And because you're 12 years old, I have this to say to you, John, very

grave, this.

Because you were a child of 12 tender years, I have to ask you this.

Now, do you want me to get in touch with your mother and father and tell them

about your being a blabbermouth, or would you rather take the soft option

have a slap of the chipper?

It's up to you, John.

The flipper, please, sir.

Right, I knew you'd see sense. You're nothing if not polite, John. Now, bend

over.

Now, off you go and tell Mr. James I gave you one slap of the flipper for the

love of mouth and that I've put it in the punishment book.

Thank you, sir.

Do you always lay on like that?

Little strokes for little arses.

And why bother?

It's quick and it's easy.

So the teachers can't

keep their kids straight. I don't want them bending over in your office when

they should be in my class.

How do I stop it?

Are you serious?

Yeah.

You're not popular.

Come on, how do I fix it? Trice knows.

Sounds like a memo job.

You'll have to negotiate with the boss. And why her?

She writes healthy memos.

And she's got the key to the four -step machine.

In her knickers.

I want... Is it convenient for me to see Mr Griff?

What's it about?

My name's Alison Cooper. I'm an ex -future.

Oh, Alison. Yes, I remember you. Yes, I didn't recognise you at the moment.

You've changed. Your hair's different. Yes.

This is Alison Cooper.

How are your parents?

Very well, thank you.

Is it possible for me to come to this? Today, I'm afraid not. I couldn't even

squeeze you in.

But I could put you in next week. You in a hurry?

Any time will do.

How about next Tuesday at 2 .30? Right?

Open this door open.

Out.

Out.

In a line. In a line. That is what the arrow means.

Line up in an orderly and civilized fashion along here in a line.

Not lounging about like thugs and prostitutes on the street corner.

Good morning, Forty.

Good morning, Mr. Hudson.

Where did this come from?

Ingram?

I wasn't looking at him, Mr. Hudson.

If you shout, scream, or jump bricks out the window, somebody's bound to come

and sort us out. So a certain amount of push will keep us all out of trouble,

right? Right.

Class. Now, that's not this type of class, though it may have something to

with it. It's the ruling class, the middle class, the working class.

Class. Pay attention, Anna.

War.

The Red Hosea.

The what?

The Red what? The Red Hoser. They're an African tribe.

They're a king.

Shut it, bro.

They have fighting rituals. They settle all their fights with sticks. All the

young men carry sticks.

What do you need a stick for when you can kick him in the bollocks?

Do you want us to copy it down?

Now, this is a list you can add to.

This is a list of subjects we're going to discuss.

Yeah, but do you want us to copy it down?

Plastic grass.

What do you think of plastic grass? Do you like it?

I don't know. We ain't got a dog.

You got a dog, Syl.

Do you want us to copy that down or not? No, Syl.

I don't want you to spend the lesson copying out. I think we've got better

things we can do with our time. But you have a choice.

You can spend the lesson copying out or you can spend it discussing these or any

other subject which may interest you. All right, Syl?

She's sick.

Oh, what do you know, clever bollocks? Shut up.

Right. The usual for an essay is two sides with a special of five.

I expect a minimum of five with a special of 15.

Well, that's not today.

That's not tomorrow or even this week.

So forget about it.

Today, just sit back, relax.

Do nothing.

Just talk.

Punishment. I hear you've made a complaint about the doctor being sent to

deputy head.

No, I've not made a complaint. I just don't like kids wandering out of my

in my time to get their arses wiped.

Whose time do you say you're in?

The whole class got high marks.

That's good, isn't it?

But they knew the questions in advance.

Yes, I know.

The purpose of a test is that the children do not know what questions...

they are to be asked, so that they do not have an opportunity to prepare their

answers. Where else, other than at school, are they ever going to be asked

that? In life, Mr.

Twentyman, in life.

What's the point of testing their general knowledge if they know the

in advance?

So that they can approach and execute the task without fear, without being

marked down as failures.

So that they can research their work in advance, with the help and cooperation

of people around them. I mean, that's life as well, isn't it? Mr. Twentiman,

future, when a class... I'm sorry I'm late. I haven't finished, Mr. Twentiman.

Just one point.

Under no circumstances are you to teach mammalian reproduction or sex education

without my permission.

Is that understood?

If it comes up, I can't avoid it.

I follow what interests the class.

My job, Mr. Twentiman, is to follow the syllabus.

I stand by what I've said.

classroom wanker.

Stephen Harris.

The one with the moustache.

Known to his friends as Wanker Harris.

No, he was at the front.

Alan Fraser, little lad with blonde hair.

Send the little bugger to me.

Thank you.

Just got a wanker.

Who? Little Alan Fraser.

Probably part of a gang.

What do you mean?

A wanking gang.

What do you mean?

They team up for mass wanking.

In my class?

Most likely.

There's smoking gangs and glue gangs.

There's randy gangs and wanking gangs.

What are they doing over there, that lot?

They're constructing a Mott & Bailey Norman castle.

Looks like pissing about to me.

Martin won't like it.

I don't like what Hudson is doing to me, Mick. He's trying to teach me a lesson,

Mick. Put me in line.

He doesn't like the way I teach.

I don't want to get into this.

But you're teaching mixed ability.

And it's getting up Hodgson's nose.

And others.

Where do you stand, Vic?

I don't think so. What's the difference between a wanking gang and a randy gang?

How glad I am you asked me that question.

Wanking gangs sit around in groups, ruining the right side in the classroom.

whole point of a gang wank is to do it in the classroom.

Mass destruction.

And randygangs.

Randygangs chase little girls around the playing field to get a smelly finger.

That's about the limit of sexual education in this school.

The blind leading the blind.

What the hell is that?

That goes early.

Do you teach sex?

For the kids, that is, in class.

Some that could kill them. They get a week of it in the second year.

That's it.

Well, that's the details left to the parents.

The blind leading the blind.

They learn more from the lavatory walls than they do in the classroom.

Nobody gives a toss.

What do you do?

I tell them everything.

I'm writing them a book on it.

We're on playground patrol tomorrow.

I'll see you

kitchen. You go to see Mr. Kitchen.

You wait outside his door. You wait here until he comes.

And when he comes, you tell him I sent you and you tell him what you were doing

with this.

You lie and I'll use it to cut off your balls. Now bugger off.

Don't you worry, son, all right?

All right, Martin, you can go now. I'll talk to you later.

There's a collection going round for Mr Peters of the

Geography Department.

I don't know. Is he leaving?

He's left.

Oh.

He died just before half -time.

I've only been here a few weeks. There are 70 staff.

I've met 20. I know seven. I just didn't get around to Mr Peters in time.

Colin.

to see Tony Kitchen.

It's you now.

Stay back here.

Will you do the honours on Stephen Harrity for extracting money with

Refuses to bend over.

Ah, Neil, thank you. I could do with a little muscle.

I've got this for you, sir. Yes, I can see that, Brian. Thank you very much.

can go now.

Stephen Harris, you are here because you're a bully. Nobody in this school

tolerates a bully, and that includes me.

Where's the bank?

That's more than I... Shut up!

You were sent to see Mr. Kitchen, but you came to see me, old softy Vic. But

doesn't matter, because Mr. Kitchen is here anyway.

Look at that.

You can kill with this, don't you know that?

It's not a toy, it's a deadly weapon.

Mr. Moyne?

You tell that to the police, Stephen. Now, I asked you very nicely before

gentlemen arrived, and I'm going to ask you again.

Will you please bend over?

No.

Okay, boys.

All right, Jeff.

Grab his other bloody leg.

Okay, Tony.

Okay, Stephen, that's it.

Nothing more to say. You can go.

Thanks, Jerry.

Here.

Wear him out of this.

It's not serious.

See the nurse.

We'll put some dental on him.

Look at that bloody night.

All right, Peter, then you come by.

Now, Peter, what's it about? What are you here for?

Who sent you?

Mr. James.

What for?

Why did Mr. James send you, Peter?

For making a noise, sir. What kind of noise were you making?

I... noise, sir. In class?

Yes, sir.

And did you make a noise in class?

I don't know.

Well, you must know whether you did or not.

It's not the kind of thing to escape one's notice, is it?

I didn't mean so.

But you did it.

Yes, sir.

So what's it going to be, Peter?

You've not been to me before, have you?

No, sir. Well, I can't do lines. I must not be in class a thousand times. The

writings will not be a punishment.

And I can't see you in detention, because you're young.

Would you like me to discuss it with your mother and father?

No, sir.

So, you're asked to be the flipper.

I refuse the flipper. Right.

You've just said you refuse the flipper.

Is that correct?

Yes, sir. Do you seriously want me to get in touch with your mother and

No. They've been writing a letter. They would have to come down here.

That would take time.

And in the end, you'd probably end up by getting whacked by the lot of us.

Do you want that?

No, sir. Do you think your dad wants to take time off work to discuss one

little... No, sir. He'll have a lot of trouble for one little... Isn't it?

So why not take the clipper?

No. It won't hurt. I won't hit you hard, I promise.

Just one little tap on your bum, and then you can get back to your class, and

can get back to organising next year's timetable, OK?

No, sir.

Have you got something wrong with your bum?

No. Then why don't you want the slipper?

I don't have to have it. It says so in the staff handbook.

How do you know this?

I read it in the staff handbook. Yes, but you're not a staff, are you?

How are you?

No, sir.

Where did you find it?

It was lying in the classroom. I read it.

Say, by the bell.

No, this has to be solved.

The bell has sold it. Let him go.

No, I can't.

Give him a warning.

I can't, all right?

Why not?

You see what happens when you let them get away with it.

You treat them soft when they think you are soft.

No, it's got to be sorted out.

It's my job.

Look at him, Vic.

If he doesn't want the slipper, I shall have to contact his parents. Those are

the rules. I didn't make them.

Now, Peter, I want you to wait here and think about it.

And all the long time I'm away, I want you to think about what you're doing.

When I come back, we'll discuss it again.

Third year, you'll be a spotty yacht, just like Stephen Harris. Rubbish. The

has potential.

Yes, you said that with Harris when he was around.

You've got him marked up as a thick, just like the rest of us.

The bell has gone. Get back to your classrooms.

Potential is standing in this school smoking silk cut in 18 -hour guts.

And I've dedicated my life to them.

You have entered an educational wasteland where the fertile soil of

ends.

And the desert of ignorance begins.

in gym and on the playing fields until he has the strength to reach the roof.

Carry on running. Begin.

And I should wear them at home in bed, Fraser. Then you'd stop fiddling with

your disgusting, smelly little winkle, you wanker.

I'd like to use the set machine if I could.

Right.

Ah. I'll tell Mr Griff you're here, Mr Hudson.

Mr Hudson.

Mr Hudson.

Aren't you with B3? Yes.

I've just seen sick boys, unsupervised, strolling about the gardens with forks

over their shoulders.

Several more are wandering aimlessly. They're collecting feathers. The rest

in the classroom and you are here. Mr Hudson.

Yeah. Mr Martinet, I'd like to see Mr Griff. Oh.

Can you fix it for me, please? I don't need a weight.

Great. Fine. Perfect.

You came into teaching late, didn't you? You've only been added to a couple of

terms. What's I got to do with that?

This school is not the brightest star in the educational firm, Mr.

Pig. We have less than a part of a share of the able pupils.

That's why I took you and your first -class degree. We need first -class

teachers.

If you want to raise some issues, there are more important ones than this.

I've been wanting to return this library book.

I noted it had gone missing from the shelves.

Books like this shouldn't be on the shelves.

Sir, for all to see as you have discovered.

It's pornographic.

The catalogue of clients.

Petty misdemeanours. Boys' own stuff.

Fooling of sports, one.

Out of bounds, one.

I'd like to give her one, you know.

Right there in the front seat.

Nuisance of an assembly, two strokes of the slipper. Bullying, late.

General nuisance.

Jeans and still no note.

Hitting kids for that.

Don't moan at me. See Griff?

I have.

Told him I was sick in the gut for sending Harris to be beaten.

What did he say?

Everyone pukes when they kill their first German.

And I put in a complaint about the excessive use of corporal punishment in

school. A pistol in writing with a copy to the education office. You've done

that? I have. Quick work. Right. It won't do you any good.

Well, he said... If you're going to start stirring, Jeff, I don't want to

Little Peter Fields, what happened?

Oh, he came around to my way of thinking.

Oh, great.

Mr.

Griff, Mr. Griff, hang on.

That, that is what I think of that.

I've taken that newspaper for 30 years.

letting their support.

Nothing is to be done about Mr Clayton, of course.

Book me a call to the chief education, sir.

I will not have time to speak to any newspaper reporters.

Those people in the office, are they from... No, unscheduled, Mrs... Ex

Yes. Bring them in. In spite of what is to be read in the newspapers, Elizabeth,

the day is a normal day. It's not a day.

That was really good.

identified flying...

And how's it been going, Paul?

I'm Paul.

I'm Barry. Yes.

What have you been up to since you left, Barry? When did you leave?

Last Sunday.

An Easter leave, then?

Yes, sir.

And what about you, Dwight? I didn't tell you what I've been doing. I was

to come back to you, Paul. Do tell me.

I've got a job as soon as I left.

Good. Where?

The abattoir.

And how's that going?

I left. I ain't got nothing now.

You left, not dismissed?

No. Why did you leave?

Well, I went to work.

I couldn't get on the people.

A go of hands.

Those in favour, raise their hands.

No votes for. Those against, please raise their hands.

Right, at least half the class votes against. The rest are abstentions.

So that means that the class votes against masturbation in the classroom

lessons. If you had a vote and didn't use it, it doesn't count.

That's democracy.

Well, that's not fair.

Why not?

Most of those that put their hand out were girls.

Why is that not fair, Faisal?

They don't do it, do they?

Girls can masturbate just the same as boys.

I'll explain with a diagram.

While I'm doing that, here's a box with some pieces of paper in it. Take a piece

of paper out of the box, write down any question.

About sex that you want.

Fold it over and put it back in the box. I promise I will answer it.

Here's your chance to find out where you came from.

This is George.

And this is George.

Two Georges.

And I'm Terry.

And what can I do for you?

We can't see Mr Griffith and say hello, right?

At first, it was a bit hard.

Not having any O -levels and only one CSE.

I had to take anything that come my way. But then, I got this lucky break.

And landed a job with a computer firm.

Now I'm doing very nicely, thank you very much.

Good.

Raking it in.

The suit you're wearing was supplied by the computer firm?

Yeah. Do you like it?

This is not funny! This is not funny!

Here we go.

There is no Wally Wicker!

There is no Wally Wicker!

I see there's less time hanging around street corners and more time smarthing

yourselves up, tagging down the door.

Shut up, you foul...

Why have I got balls and girls don't?

That's a good question.

Surely comes from a boy.

What are rags?

Is wanking wrong? Is it bad for me?

The answer is no, but we'll come back to it.

What is the pox?

Where do you... What's this?

Where do you get love juice?

Where do you get love juice?

Do you wank?

Yes, I do.

Have you had VD?

Yes, I have. There are different sorts.

I'll tell you what I know.

Do homos kiss?

Are you a homo if you kiss?

I think I know what that means.

Why do boys get the horn?

The horn is the way of describing a penis when it becomes stiff. It's

called an erection.

What is it, Sue?

Nothing.

It's fuck a swear word.

I just had sex with a boar during religious instruction.

Revelation upon revelation.

Blind leading with blind.

Hungry for knowledge. You can see the relief on their faces.

With difficulty.

Have you read the papers?

Who's your mole?

No mole.

I took the punishment book out of Vic's office, made copies, ran the papers,

sent them off.

I've got a card from the staff.

The British Confraternity of Teachers.

The broken piece of chalk award presented to Geoffrey Figg.

Finest example of gross unprofessional conduct.

Where's the bend?

Find a space.

Put it on the wall.

What for?

Open classroom.

Let them see what's going on.

The funny smell. Who cleans this lot?

We do.

The cleaners help out. They like coming in here.

How do you get them to do all this?

They do it.

They wouldn't do it if you weren't here to make them do it, though, would they?

It happens because I let it happen.

You just sit there with your fingers up your nose.

I usually make them tell me what they're going to do, but they choose.

What's this?

Deception.

It's like the rudiments of murder.

We're going to cook it tomorrow.

Good luck.

It's great.

How'd you do it?

Authority and discipline.

Tie their hands behind their backs and stuff it down their throats.

What's the answer?

This.

Love is fitter than fear.

Gentleness, better than beating, to bring up a child rightly in learning.

If that doesn't work, clap the bastards round the ear.

What happens to the cat at weekends?

Goes home, like the rest of us, with Linda Butt in B3.

What's the debate?

Make another appeal for him to go away.

Then we send for the police to disperse.

You'd better get a clearance for that, Elizabeth.

Very well.

You have continued to deal with mammalian reproduction and sex

I've not set out with the intention of dealing with those... Yes, but do teach

them. I answer their questions.

The time allowed on the syllabus does not match their curiosity.

Next term, I'm bound to teach the second years, and I shall allow them... All

the time they need.

You will not be required to teach this subject next term, Mr. Twente.

Why not?

You believe this, but not you.

What is an orgasm?

What is cunnilingus?

How do homosexuals make love?

I must confess that... It's a whole series of questions with detailed

graphic answers.

And this page, I presume, is a part of a whole series of pages.

Is that correct?

That's right.

And you have introduced this material into the classroom?

That's right. For what age group? For those who are interested. Boys and

Boys and girls.

Many ages. So boring.

Without decency.

I'm deeply shocked.

You recognise that?

Yes. This book was confiscated from boys in the science laboratory after one of

your lessons.

This is a very grave situation, Mr. Trenton.

I see.

Take a look at that.

Good God!

Take a look. I don't think I want to look. This is a spanking magazine.

It caters for people who derive sexual excitement from caning and spanking.

titles like Over Teacher's Knee.

I leave it to you to divine the cause.

I bought it this morning from the local newsagents after reading our publicity.

I copied that from that.

It's a school library book.

I beg your pardon?

I borrowed that the day it came into the school library.

I made my own edited version of it when I was asked to return it. I thought it

had gone missing.

Have you shown this to the children in the school?

No, no, no, no. That's not why I bought it. But we're a spanking school.

Why not show them?

Avail them of some of the fringe benefits? This is dragging us all into

water, Mr. Twentiman.

Here is a paper setting out 12 conditions regarding your teaching in

school. They include abandoning your late -day system of teaching in favor of

disabled instructor to be administered by Mr. Hodgson. The curriculum and the

syllabus are there to be adhered to.

You are to follow Mr. Hodgson's instructions.

Fix on each muckle.

Stay down, Jack.

Yes, Jane.

Gentlemen, your eyes have been taken to hospital.

Can I help you?

I have an appointment.

When? They telephoned a little while ago.

When did you go into labour?

They did not say.

I must go.

But you have classes.

I'm leaving in 40 minutes at the end of my next class. Thank you for telling me.

What can I do for you?

I have an appointment to see Mr Griff.

Alison Cooper.

Alison? Oh, yes.

We don't have to wait.

I don't mind.

They sent you off?

Not yet.

They stopped me about a suspension.

Stupid you, I mean.

There were procedures, professional procedures.

I could have made an official complaint.

Would it have made any difference?

They were nearer after the war.

I stirred things up, Vic. People know about it now.

He's going to put a plan on corporal punishment.

What? Griff told me.

Homage to Strasbourg.

Phase it out over the next two years.

Points to me.

He's going to throw a whole question of death in them back onto the parents.

Now, do you think they'll thank you for that?

It'll still seem like a victory to me.

What?

What was that word?

Do you think you're going to turn the entire system on its head?

One and a half terms in the profession.

Johnny come lately and you talk about victory.

Here.

In here.

Golden rule number one.

The only rule.

Get through the day and that's all.

There are no victories, boy.

I stir things up, Vic.

A mere ripple. You're on the wrong side of too many people, Brother Flake.

Go public.

Apologize to Griff.

What?

Apologize to the headmaster, or you will be out on your arse.

No reference and no pension.

Shit!

Left my bag in the boat's office.

Have I got to apologize to her as well?

There's been a terrible accident. You probably heard the sirens.

Yes. We have the police in, but business as usual.

You've waited all afternoon, Alison. It must be important.

I've not done two more, have I? since I left school.

So you're a healthy clutch of O and A levels.

You deserve a rest.

I'm going to have one. Well, where are you going?

To sign on at the Dole.

Oh, I see.

Really? Not for long, I'll be bound.

Well, it's really not up to me, is it, Mr Griff?

Take a rest. Think about it.

You can't expect it all to happen immediately.

But you do have certain advantages over your friends, Alison.

You come from a good home.

a healthy display of qualifications.

Extremely healthy.

Did you get maths?

Yes. Well done.

A head for figures.

I did what you wanted.

I did as I was told. I learned what I was told to learn and reproduced it on

paper the way you wanted it.

Yes.

So what happens now?

It's up to you. You...

Have to get out and do things for yourself.

How do you do that?

You never taught us that. You taught us to rely on you.

No work now.

No work ever.

What have you done to help us live with that?

Don't rely on us.

Rely on yourself.

We gave you an education.

I gave you qualifications.

What more do you want?

It's up to you what you do with it.

There are 1 ,700 children in this school and over 70 staff. What do you expect?

Teaching you was a pleasure.

You are not a problem.

You are a success.

These are my O -level certificates.

These are my A -level certificates.

This is why I came here today.

I would like you to roll them up and push them up your arse.

Oh, yes, I did.

You can stuff that, too.

Why are you sandwiched like that?

They're patching him up. Told me to go back in an hour.

I wasn't there.

Rebuke to Peppermint.

Wife looked like she'd got flu.

Baby was prized out like a limp fish.

Looked hungover.

At the last minute, a gang of medical students came in.

Had to fight for a view.

Children learn because they want to learn.

I follow them.

It's an open classroom.

In a closed system.

That's my way of changing things.

A pit in the ocean.

It makes a difference.

Not when Griff's sitting on your face, it doesn't.

Bugger your open classroom, he'll soon change all that.

We'll see.

They're leaning on you, brother.

What are you going to do?

I'm a family man with mortgage and commitments.

What do you think I'm going to do?

You smash up your classroom.

The kids will put it back together.

You do what you can.

You stay inside the system. You don't walk out on the kids.

How many teachers say that up and down the country, eh?

Labouring against the odds.

Knackered at 40, screaming at the little buggers to stay in line.

Stay with it, Jeff.

Lick the arses of the Board of Governors. What does it matter?