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1
00:00:05,113 --> 00:00:07,473
Hey, Arthur,
this is just Christmas stuff.
2
00:00:07,475 --> 00:00:09,608
I thought you were gonna
get Hanukkah decorations.
3
00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:10,543
Nah, it's too expensive.
4
00:00:10,545 --> 00:00:12,019
I'd rather convert.
5
00:00:14,384 --> 00:00:15,581
Only I can make that joke.
6
00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:19,285
Um, excuse me,
I don't see any Kwanzaa decorations.
7
00:00:19,287 --> 00:00:20,486
I'd be happy to celebrate Kwanzaa.
8
00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:22,021
What should I put up?
9
00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:24,790
Oh, what should you put up for Kwanzaa?
10
00:00:26,397 --> 00:00:28,394
Everybody know you put
up the Kwanzaa tree.
11
00:00:30,459 --> 00:00:33,499
And I-I think there's a ham.
12
00:00:34,891 --> 00:00:37,636
You have absolutely no
idea what Kwanzaa is.
13
00:00:37,718 --> 00:00:40,052
No, but I am sick and tired
of whatever it is
14
00:00:40,054 --> 00:00:42,621
not being represented.
15
00:00:42,623 --> 00:00:44,523
My family doesn't celebrate Christmas.
16
00:00:44,525 --> 00:00:46,124
We just refer to it as the time of year
17
00:00:46,126 --> 00:00:48,693
when people get mad
about Starbucks cups.
18
00:00:49,225 --> 00:00:50,562
I'm all about Christmas this year.
19
00:00:50,564 --> 00:00:53,532
I got a job as Santa passing
out flyers at a bike shop.
20
00:00:53,534 --> 00:00:56,435
Hmm, got a gig playing the big guy, huh?
21
00:00:56,437 --> 00:00:58,503
Well, you're looking
at 20 years experience
22
00:00:58,505 --> 00:01:01,640
slinging them bells.
23
00:01:01,642 --> 00:01:03,708
If you want,
I can give you some Santa pointers,
24
00:01:03,710 --> 00:01:06,545
take you under my wing.
25
00:01:06,547 --> 00:01:09,014
When's the last time you
washed under that wing?
26
00:01:10,884 --> 00:01:12,851
Lesson number one:
27
00:01:12,853 --> 00:01:15,120
Let single moms cut to
the front of the line,
28
00:01:15,122 --> 00:01:17,789
but don't let them spend the night.
29
00:01:17,791 --> 00:01:20,225
There's only so much magic in that suit.
30
00:01:22,029 --> 00:01:24,672
Hey. Hey, what's Pink Panther doing?
31
00:01:24,698 --> 00:01:26,652
- Who's that?
- He's the homeless guy
32
00:01:26,701 --> 00:01:28,327
that camps out over at the "L".
33
00:01:28,335 --> 00:01:29,901
He wears this old, pink hat
34
00:01:29,903 --> 00:01:31,403
that he got at the Women's March,
35
00:01:31,405 --> 00:01:33,772
so we call him Pink Panther.
36
00:01:34,870 --> 00:01:35,961
This is weird.
37
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:38,597
He had a nice setup over
this warm vent at McDonald's.
38
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,399
I get him french fries every time I go.
39
00:01:40,401 --> 00:01:43,669
Then we talk about how
much the Bulls suck.
40
00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:45,070
I wonder why he moved.
41
00:01:45,072 --> 00:01:46,738
The Uptown Business Council.
42
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:49,041
We got the police to move
all of the homeless people
43
00:01:49,043 --> 00:01:50,776
off the streets for the holidays.
44
00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,477
You're welcome.
45
00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:54,112
What is wrong with you?
46
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,380
That's a human being, man.
47
00:01:55,382 --> 00:01:57,382
You can't... It's freezing outside.
48
00:01:57,384 --> 00:02:00,185
Hey. W-Why don't you come in, man?
49
00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:01,486
Yeah, come in. Warm up.
50
00:02:01,488 --> 00:02:02,788
I'll buy you a cup of coffee.
51
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,356
- Really?
- Yeah.
52
00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:06,291
After all, it's Kwanzaa.
53
00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:08,260
What is that again?
54
00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:09,595
I don't know. Um...
55
00:02:10,586 --> 00:02:12,531
But come in, man.
Here. Pop a squat.
56
00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:13,599
I'll get you a donut.
57
00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:15,334
I probably shouldn't.
58
00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:17,067
What? Nonsense. Man, here. Take some.
59
00:02:17,102 --> 00:02:18,707
Take as many as you want, man.
There you go.
60
00:02:18,742 --> 00:02:21,773
Oh, what the hell
is Pink Panther doing here?
61
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,109
How many times do I have to tell you?
62
00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:25,210
Don't let the homeless in here.
63
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:26,478
Well, he ain't bothering nobody.
64
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,679
I got to run a business here.
65
00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:29,314
It's just one dude.
66
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,316
Until he tells his buddies.
Then the place is swarming
67
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:32,651
with people looking for free food.
68
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,119
That's called the domino effect.
69
00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:36,288
Because it happened at the
Domino's around the corner.
70
00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:37,823
No.
71
00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:40,659
The homeless thing is very complicated.
72
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,427
We used to pick them up
when we were on patrol,
73
00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:43,996
drop them off at the shelter.
74
00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:45,898
Next night they'd be
back out on the street.
75
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:47,299
Breaks my heart.
76
00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:48,867
Yeah, me, too.
77
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:51,637
Part of me wants to be a decent
human being and give them food
78
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:54,239
and the other part of me
wants to be like Arthur.
79
00:02:55,439 --> 00:02:56,541
When did "decent human being"
80
00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:58,377
become the opposite of Arthur?
81
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:01,113
Well, I'm down for helping
the homeless, Franco.
82
00:03:01,115 --> 00:03:02,814
'Cause without me,
you would be homeless?
83
00:03:04,174 --> 00:03:05,517
Maybe my Santa career will take off
84
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:08,654
and I won't have to sleep on
your beanbag chair anymore.
85
00:03:08,656 --> 00:03:10,923
Maybe you have to sleep
on his beanbag chair
86
00:03:10,925 --> 00:03:12,124
because you say things like,
87
00:03:12,126 --> 00:03:14,860
"Maybe my Santa career will take off."
88
00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:17,863
It's almost Christmas, all right?
89
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,064
Would it kill us to show this dude
90
00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:21,266
a little bit of kindness?
91
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:22,968
Hey, man.
92
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:24,670
How about a cup of coffee?
93
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,540
He fell asleep.
94
00:03:29,348 --> 00:03:30,442
Look, in the spirit of Christmas,
95
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:31,944
I'm gonna skip the I-told-you-so
96
00:03:31,946 --> 00:03:34,613
and jump right to get
him the hell out of here.
97
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:36,181
All right.
98
00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:38,717
Hey, man. Yo!
99
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,852
Hey!
100
00:03:50,266 --> 00:03:51,460
I can't find a pulse.
101
00:03:51,495 --> 00:03:52,820
Arthur, call 911.
102
00:03:52,855 --> 00:03:54,433
All right, well, what-what should we do?
103
00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:57,135
Maybe put him outside as
an example to the others?
104
00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:01,873
What? I thought we were brainstorming.
105
00:04:14,281 --> 00:04:18,450
I've never seen a dead body
without bullet holes before.
106
00:04:18,452 --> 00:04:20,051
It's unnatural.
107
00:04:20,053 --> 00:04:21,119
Yeah.
108
00:04:21,121 --> 00:04:23,722
It's not exactly a barrel of laughs,
109
00:04:23,724 --> 00:04:28,326
except the time I found
that dead clown in a barrel.
110
00:04:29,690 --> 00:04:34,632
Man, can't believe a dude
died right here in the store.
111
00:04:34,634 --> 00:04:37,335
No, no, no, no!
112
00:04:37,337 --> 00:04:39,437
From deliciousness!
113
00:04:39,439 --> 00:04:40,672
It...
114
00:04:40,674 --> 00:04:41,932
We got a rule here, kid.
115
00:04:41,975 --> 00:04:43,829
Nobody talks about people
who die in the shop.
116
00:04:43,878 --> 00:04:45,659
What? Why is that a rule?
117
00:04:45,746 --> 00:04:49,013
Yeah. How often does this happen?
118
00:04:50,315 --> 00:04:51,883
We knew nothing about the guy.
119
00:04:51,885 --> 00:04:53,385
Like, did he, did he have a family?
120
00:04:53,387 --> 00:04:55,120
Is there anybody we can contact?
121
00:04:55,122 --> 00:04:56,955
Let's look in his bag.
122
00:04:58,759 --> 00:05:01,426
Let's see. Shirts...
123
00:05:01,428 --> 00:05:03,762
one sneaker...
124
00:05:03,764 --> 00:05:08,633
a copy of The 4-Hour Workweek.
125
00:05:08,635 --> 00:05:12,504
Wow. He got it down to zero.
126
00:05:12,506 --> 00:05:14,439
I found a student ID.
127
00:05:14,441 --> 00:05:17,409
From Chicago State, John Dixon.
128
00:05:17,411 --> 00:05:18,610
Class of '76.
129
00:05:18,612 --> 00:05:20,812
Look, a passport.
130
00:05:20,814 --> 00:05:23,748
Yogurtland punch card.
131
00:05:23,750 --> 00:05:24,993
Tragic.
132
00:05:25,374 --> 00:05:28,953
He was one stamp away from a free cone.
133
00:05:29,555 --> 00:05:34,459
John Dixon, I will fulfill your destiny.
134
00:05:34,461 --> 00:05:37,662
Man, this dude led a full
life we knew nothing about.
135
00:05:37,664 --> 00:05:39,731
School, travel.
136
00:05:39,733 --> 00:05:41,433
And this is how it ends?
137
00:05:41,435 --> 00:05:44,803
He deserves something
more dignified, guys.
138
00:05:45,396 --> 00:05:46,604
You know something?
139
00:05:46,606 --> 00:05:48,086
We-we should have a service for him.
140
00:05:48,108 --> 00:05:50,095
You know? Celebrate his life.
141
00:05:50,177 --> 00:05:53,211
I don't know.
You know, I-I got a lot to do.
142
00:05:53,213 --> 00:05:55,146
It's my annual Christmas party.
143
00:05:57,684 --> 00:06:01,319
For the first time and
you're all invited.
144
00:06:01,321 --> 00:06:03,221
I've got a lot of work to do, too.
145
00:06:03,223 --> 00:06:05,757
Someone complained that my
gingerbread men were too sexist,
146
00:06:05,759 --> 00:06:08,927
so now I have to go home and
castrate a hundred cookies.
147
00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:13,295
Look, uh, I think John would
want us all to just move on.
148
00:06:13,367 --> 00:06:17,001
- And how do you know that?
- I don't. I just want to move on.
149
00:06:17,758 --> 00:06:19,816
But we can't move on, man.
150
00:06:19,851 --> 00:06:21,372
You don't know what it's like
to have people walk by you
151
00:06:21,374 --> 00:06:23,875
- like you don't exist.
- And you do?
152
00:06:23,877 --> 00:06:25,844
Yeah. I was homeless.
153
00:06:25,846 --> 00:06:27,679
What? When?
154
00:06:27,681 --> 00:06:29,447
When I was 16. My dad kicked me out.
155
00:06:29,449 --> 00:06:31,950
I slept in a bus station,
on the "L" train.
156
00:06:31,952 --> 00:06:33,718
I spent a few nights on the street.
157
00:06:33,780 --> 00:06:35,714
Oh, God, I'm really sorry to hear that.
158
00:06:35,716 --> 00:06:36,848
It's cool.
159
00:06:36,850 --> 00:06:38,183
I pulled out of it.
160
00:06:38,185 --> 00:06:39,885
W-When I saw John...
161
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:43,989
...couldn't help but
think that could've been me.
162
00:06:43,991 --> 00:06:45,590
Franco, you're right.
163
00:06:45,592 --> 00:06:47,893
We should do something
to honor his life.
164
00:06:47,895 --> 00:06:50,162
Yeah. Let's have a memorial
here in the shop.
165
00:06:50,164 --> 00:06:51,263
Okay. We can do it tomorrow.
166
00:06:51,265 --> 00:06:53,131
Yeah. It'll be instead
of my Christmas bonus.
167
00:06:53,133 --> 00:06:54,900
Your Christmas bonus?
168
00:06:56,770 --> 00:06:59,004
Okay, fine.
169
00:06:59,006 --> 00:07:00,772
A homeless funeral.
170
00:07:00,774 --> 00:07:03,408
When I tell my family in
Iraq about these things,
171
00:07:03,410 --> 00:07:05,710
they never believe me.
172
00:07:11,527 --> 00:07:12,551
Okay, tick-tock.
173
00:07:12,553 --> 00:07:17,622
Let's honor a man's life and
get home for Celebrity Jeopardy.
174
00:07:18,111 --> 00:07:19,357
Hey, where's Sweatpants?
175
00:07:19,359 --> 00:07:21,860
In the bathroom,
trying on his new Santa suit.
176
00:07:21,862 --> 00:07:23,461
I want to be here to help.
177
00:07:23,463 --> 00:07:25,730
One year, my belly slid into my pants.
178
00:07:25,732 --> 00:07:28,033
It looked like I had a medical problem.
179
00:07:29,487 --> 00:07:30,602
Hey, you wore black.
180
00:07:30,604 --> 00:07:31,903
That's cool.
181
00:07:31,905 --> 00:07:34,973
Yes. Out of respect.
182
00:07:34,975 --> 00:07:36,675
You're going out after this, aren't you?
183
00:07:36,677 --> 00:07:38,176
Yup.
184
00:07:39,341 --> 00:07:40,779
Let's do this.
185
00:07:46,119 --> 00:07:47,652
We are gathered here today
186
00:07:47,654 --> 00:07:50,789
to celebrate the life of John Dixon.
187
00:07:50,791 --> 00:07:53,024
World traveler, student,
188
00:07:53,946 --> 00:07:55,393
fan of yogurts.
189
00:07:58,329 --> 00:07:59,864
Let's all, uh,
190
00:07:59,866 --> 00:08:02,601
bow our heads in a moment
of silence for John.
191
00:08:05,038 --> 00:08:08,673
Yo, yo, yo.
192
00:08:11,378 --> 00:08:14,746
Sica-sica-sica-Santa
Claus in the hica-house!
193
00:08:16,550 --> 00:08:20,252
Oh, is that funeral thing
happening right now?
194
00:08:20,254 --> 00:08:22,354
What the hell is this? That's not Santa.
195
00:08:22,356 --> 00:08:23,822
That's Santa's DJ.
196
00:08:25,814 --> 00:08:27,425
Put my own spin on it.
197
00:08:27,427 --> 00:08:29,461
Yeah, well, none of it's regulation.
198
00:08:29,463 --> 00:08:30,996
Where's the beard?
199
00:08:30,998 --> 00:08:32,230
Where's the coat?
200
00:08:32,232 --> 00:08:33,529
And are you on something?
201
00:08:33,601 --> 00:08:36,868
'Cause that twinkle in
your eye is not natural.
202
00:08:38,105 --> 00:08:39,437
I like it.
203
00:08:39,439 --> 00:08:40,805
Cool Santa's hot.
204
00:08:40,807 --> 00:08:42,540
Yeah?
205
00:08:42,542 --> 00:08:45,410
Well, have you been naughty or nice?
206
00:08:46,546 --> 00:08:49,214
Because Santa's good with both.
207
00:08:49,216 --> 00:08:50,415
Santa, please.
208
00:08:51,852 --> 00:08:52,951
Hey, Fawz.
209
00:08:52,953 --> 00:08:54,219
You been filming this?
210
00:08:54,221 --> 00:08:56,421
It's a hobo funeral
attended by a hip-hop Santa.
211
00:08:58,069 --> 00:09:01,926
I'm telling you,
you're gonna be famous in Fallujah.
212
00:09:01,928 --> 00:09:06,731
As I was saying, we are here
to pay respects to John Dixon.
213
00:09:06,733 --> 00:09:10,402
He had so little and we have so much.
214
00:09:10,404 --> 00:09:13,905
Yeah. You know,
I used to drive by in my patrol car
215
00:09:13,907 --> 00:09:17,776
and think, "I should bring
him some blankets or clothes",
216
00:09:17,778 --> 00:09:19,311
but I never did.
217
00:09:19,313 --> 00:09:21,246
And I knew so many people
in the food business,
218
00:09:21,248 --> 00:09:23,248
I could've helped him find some odd job.
219
00:09:23,936 --> 00:09:26,084
Yeah, I should've let him
come in here and warm up.
220
00:09:26,086 --> 00:09:27,786
Maybe use the bathroom.
221
00:09:27,788 --> 00:09:29,054
Why do you feel bad?
222
00:09:29,056 --> 00:09:32,157
He spent every dollar
you gave him on froyo.
223
00:09:32,579 --> 00:09:33,925
Know what?
224
00:09:33,927 --> 00:09:35,660
Let's raise a mug.
225
00:09:36,471 --> 00:09:38,263
To John Dixon.
226
00:09:38,265 --> 00:09:41,132
Wish you were still here, man.
227
00:09:41,134 --> 00:09:42,334
Your wish came true.
228
00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:49,140
I know, my hair is a mess.
229
00:09:49,142 --> 00:09:52,143
John, how can you be alive?
230
00:09:52,145 --> 00:09:53,978
I-I couldn't find a pulse.
231
00:09:53,980 --> 00:09:55,547
Well, neither could the EMTs.
232
00:09:55,549 --> 00:09:57,615
Your tax dollars at work, am I right?
233
00:09:58,885 --> 00:10:01,052
I'm diabetic and I went into a coma.
234
00:10:01,054 --> 00:10:05,056
But they didn't figure that
out until I got into the ER.
235
00:10:05,058 --> 00:10:06,491
I'm sorry, man.
236
00:10:06,493 --> 00:10:08,193
I didn't, I shouldn't have
given you those damn donuts.
237
00:10:08,195 --> 00:10:10,161
It's-it's not your fault.
238
00:10:10,163 --> 00:10:11,896
I mean, it is. You killed me.
239
00:10:13,533 --> 00:10:16,267
But for only, like, three minutes.
I mean...
240
00:10:16,269 --> 00:10:19,471
Guess I'll get my stuff.
241
00:10:19,473 --> 00:10:22,374
Hey, which one of you jerks
was going through my stuff?
242
00:10:24,397 --> 00:10:25,210
I had a valuable pair
243
00:10:25,212 --> 00:10:27,545
of 2009 New Year's Eve glasses.
244
00:10:28,482 --> 00:10:31,182
The zeroes were eyes.
245
00:10:32,004 --> 00:10:33,818
Hey, uh, we-we can't let him go.
246
00:10:33,820 --> 00:10:35,019
He's got a second chance.
247
00:10:35,021 --> 00:10:37,021
I mean, we-we've got a second chance.
248
00:10:37,023 --> 00:10:38,056
To do what?
249
00:10:38,058 --> 00:10:39,324
To do all that stuff
we said about wishing
250
00:10:39,326 --> 00:10:41,526
how we could help him. And now we can.
251
00:10:41,528 --> 00:10:42,727
Oh, right. We...
252
00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:44,896
- W-We did say all that.
- Mm-hmm.
253
00:10:44,898 --> 00:10:46,865
Now, um...
254
00:10:46,867 --> 00:10:50,635
Do we think John heard that?
255
00:10:50,637 --> 00:10:51,936
Yeah, I've got work to do.
256
00:10:51,938 --> 00:10:53,538
And it's three days before Christmas.
257
00:10:53,540 --> 00:10:54,572
Exactly.
258
00:10:54,574 --> 00:10:56,141
I-It's the perfect time to help him.
259
00:10:56,143 --> 00:10:58,743
Randy, you can help him
find some new clothes. Uh...
260
00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:00,545
Sofia, you can help him
find a job, right?
261
00:11:00,547 --> 00:11:02,113
And Arthur,
you can let him use the bathroom
262
00:11:02,115 --> 00:11:03,214
like you said you would.
263
00:11:03,216 --> 00:11:06,251
I did?
264
00:11:06,891 --> 00:11:08,219
I don't remember that.
265
00:11:08,221 --> 00:11:10,155
Oh, no, you did, I, uh, recorded it.
266
00:11:10,157 --> 00:11:12,657
Fawz!
267
00:11:13,860 --> 00:11:15,693
Hey, hey, John, John,
r-real quick, um...
268
00:11:15,695 --> 00:11:17,562
Uh, what's your schedule
like the next few days?
269
00:11:17,564 --> 00:11:19,464
- It's pretty full.
- Okay, well...
270
00:11:19,466 --> 00:11:20,999
W-We want to help you.
271
00:11:21,001 --> 00:11:23,034
I can move some things around.
272
00:11:23,036 --> 00:11:24,903
All right! Come on, man.
273
00:11:25,673 --> 00:11:28,139
I'm gonna give them back, but, uh...
274
00:11:28,975 --> 00:11:31,176
Am I right?
275
00:11:35,953 --> 00:11:37,765
Okay. So you're saying if he gets a job,
276
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:40,129
then he's eligible for
transitional housing?
277
00:11:40,131 --> 00:11:43,633
Okeydokey, smoky, all right!
278
00:11:43,635 --> 00:11:46,035
Okay. And good day
to you, too, kind sir.
279
00:11:46,037 --> 00:11:47,703
All right. Did you hear that?
280
00:11:47,705 --> 00:11:50,439
Yeah, you're kind
of a dork on the phone.
281
00:11:50,441 --> 00:11:53,309
No, we got to find him a job.
282
00:11:53,311 --> 00:11:54,875
Yo, Sofia,
how's the r�sum� coming along?
283
00:11:54,913 --> 00:11:57,213
Well, there's not much to work with.
284
00:11:57,215 --> 00:11:58,981
His last job was "grocery bagger",
285
00:11:58,983 --> 00:12:02,752
and his references are
"They're all liars."
286
00:12:03,855 --> 00:12:05,988
Bup. Maybe I can help.
287
00:12:05,990 --> 00:12:07,723
As a veteran of the gig economy,
288
00:12:07,725 --> 00:12:10,459
I've had to dress up a couple r�sum�s.
289
00:12:10,461 --> 00:12:13,259
Okay. Under "work experience",
he has "eating."
290
00:12:13,331 --> 00:12:15,898
Food taster.
291
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:16,859
And "begging."
292
00:12:16,935 --> 00:12:19,402
Venture capitalist.
293
00:12:19,404 --> 00:12:20,886
And "pushing a shopping cart."
294
00:12:20,972 --> 00:12:22,672
Train conductor.
295
00:12:24,909 --> 00:12:27,310
Best Christmas ever.
296
00:12:27,462 --> 00:12:28,678
Where are your flyers?
297
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:29,886
Gave them all away.
298
00:12:29,888 --> 00:12:31,087
Are those yours?
299
00:12:31,089 --> 00:12:34,023
Yeah, I, uh, haven't started yet.
300
00:12:34,025 --> 00:12:35,358
But I just saw you out front.
301
00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:38,394
Nope. Must've been a different guy.
302
00:12:38,396 --> 00:12:39,696
Santa!
303
00:12:39,698 --> 00:12:41,064
Ho, ho, ho...
304
00:12:41,066 --> 00:12:42,765
Hey!
305
00:12:44,269 --> 00:12:45,602
Hey, shorty.
306
00:12:45,604 --> 00:12:46,736
You been good?
307
00:12:46,738 --> 00:12:47,804
Not really.
308
00:12:47,806 --> 00:12:48,972
It don't matter.
309
00:12:48,974 --> 00:12:50,873
I'm-a still hook you up.
310
00:12:50,875 --> 00:12:52,208
Thanks, Santa!
311
00:12:52,210 --> 00:12:54,210
I don't get it. Why'd she run to you?
312
00:12:54,212 --> 00:12:55,511
Less is more, baby.
313
00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:58,014
I can do more with one "ho"
than you can with three.
314
00:12:59,451 --> 00:13:01,150
Maple cream.
315
00:13:01,152 --> 00:13:03,353
Make it a double!
316
00:13:03,355 --> 00:13:05,488
Okay, what, you had a tough time
finding him an interview suit?
317
00:13:05,490 --> 00:13:07,123
We went to five stores,
318
00:13:07,125 --> 00:13:10,093
and he couldn't find anything he liked.
319
00:13:10,095 --> 00:13:12,261
Nothing flattered my silhouette.
320
00:13:13,565 --> 00:13:15,164
Just because I live in a box
321
00:13:15,166 --> 00:13:17,433
doesn't mean I got to look like one.
322
00:13:17,788 --> 00:13:18,901
It's cool, John, don't worry about it.
323
00:13:18,903 --> 00:13:20,269
We'll find you something.
324
00:13:20,939 --> 00:13:22,346
Well, how's my r�sum� coming?
325
00:13:22,381 --> 00:13:25,642
Oh, uh, well, I'm just working
on the "skills" section.
326
00:13:25,644 --> 00:13:27,210
Just trying to find a more
presentable way to say
327
00:13:27,212 --> 00:13:30,313
"Kicking ass and taking names."
328
00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:32,649
Is that the font you're using?
329
00:13:32,651 --> 00:13:33,983
- Mm-hmm.
- Helvetica?
330
00:13:33,985 --> 00:13:35,985
Oh, hell no.
331
00:13:37,188 --> 00:13:39,822
Oh, free coffee!
332
00:13:39,824 --> 00:13:41,391
Yeah.
333
00:13:41,393 --> 00:13:42,692
Yeah, free for you, John.
334
00:13:42,694 --> 00:13:43,826
Everybody else pays for it.
335
00:13:43,828 --> 00:13:45,128
It's a big part of my income.
336
00:13:45,130 --> 00:13:46,295
Ah...
337
00:13:47,966 --> 00:13:49,198
Oh!
338
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,467
This is terrible.
339
00:13:52,985 --> 00:13:55,505
People pay for that?
340
00:13:55,507 --> 00:13:58,941
Is it just me, or is this guy a dick?
341
00:14:01,379 --> 00:14:03,312
Maybe he's a dick because
he lives out on the streets
342
00:14:03,314 --> 00:14:05,448
and people treat him like garbage.
343
00:14:05,450 --> 00:14:07,417
Well, now he's treating us like garbage.
344
00:14:07,419 --> 00:14:10,620
And Helvetica is a
very professional font.
345
00:14:10,622 --> 00:14:12,221
Okay, l-let's just take a second
346
00:14:12,223 --> 00:14:14,323
and remember why we're all doing this.
347
00:14:16,895 --> 00:14:19,996
I'm drawing a blank.
Let's kick him out of here.
348
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,398
Can't we just find some shelter
349
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,701
- and write him a check?
- Yes.
350
00:14:24,703 --> 00:14:28,371
Can't Sofia just find him some
shelter and write him a check?
351
00:14:29,941 --> 00:14:32,442
I-If you want to donate,
great, then donate.
352
00:14:32,444 --> 00:14:34,644
But all he needs is a job
so he can get the housing.
353
00:14:34,646 --> 00:14:36,145
Who's gonna hire that guy?
354
00:14:36,147 --> 00:14:38,648
Maybe some big-hearted business owner,
355
00:14:38,650 --> 00:14:42,552
uh, filled with the spirit of Hanukkah?
356
00:14:42,554 --> 00:14:45,455
If you think Irv Saltzman's gonna...
You talking about me?
357
00:14:45,457 --> 00:14:47,323
No, no, no. Forget that. Uh-uh.
358
00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:49,926
Just for a couple of days.
359
00:14:49,928 --> 00:14:51,227
He can dress up like Santa,
360
00:14:51,229 --> 00:14:53,730
a-and stand outside and pass out flyers.
361
00:14:53,732 --> 00:14:55,865
Why are we busting our humps for him?
He's so ungrateful.
362
00:14:55,867 --> 00:14:57,066
Who cares?
363
00:14:57,068 --> 00:14:58,801
You think this is about us feeling good?
364
00:14:58,803 --> 00:15:01,637
No. I-It's about helping
somebody who needs it.
365
00:15:02,221 --> 00:15:05,308
Even if they don't smile or say
"thank you."
366
00:15:05,310 --> 00:15:06,542
Okay, okay, fine.
367
00:15:06,544 --> 00:15:07,643
Thank you.
368
00:15:07,645 --> 00:15:09,078
He's gonna bring in customers.
369
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:11,147
He has a certain charm about himself.
370
00:15:11,149 --> 00:15:13,516
You're sitting in my seat.
371
00:15:16,387 --> 00:15:18,888
Somebody died in that booth.
372
00:15:22,668 --> 00:15:24,861
Tattoos! Get your Christmas tattoos!
373
00:15:24,863 --> 00:15:28,064
Buy two, get a free piercing.
374
00:15:28,066 --> 00:15:29,766
Merry Christmas to you, man. Hey!
375
00:15:29,768 --> 00:15:31,334
Feliz Navidad!
376
00:15:31,336 --> 00:15:33,102
Hey, what's up, man? Hey, man.
377
00:15:33,104 --> 00:15:35,238
Happy Hanukkah, Irv.
378
00:15:35,913 --> 00:15:37,106
What are you doing here?
379
00:15:37,108 --> 00:15:39,008
My job.
380
00:15:39,010 --> 00:15:40,576
No, no. Hey.
I've been on the same corner
381
00:15:40,578 --> 00:15:42,044
every Christmas since '98.
382
00:15:42,046 --> 00:15:43,513
I've got seniority.
383
00:15:43,515 --> 00:15:45,982
Yeah, well, I've got popu-lority. Hey.
384
00:15:45,984 --> 00:15:48,151
When I say "Fa, la," y'all say "La."
385
00:15:48,153 --> 00:15:49,252
Fa, la.
386
00:15:49,254 --> 00:15:50,353
- La!
- Fa, la.
387
00:15:50,355 --> 00:15:52,889
La!
388
00:15:56,594 --> 00:15:57,693
Really?
389
00:15:57,695 --> 00:15:58,928
Whoa.
390
00:15:58,930 --> 00:16:00,196
And it's old St. Nick.
391
00:16:00,198 --> 00:16:02,632
Did you see a guy named John back there?
392
00:16:02,634 --> 00:16:04,467
I'm John.
393
00:16:04,469 --> 00:16:06,302
What? I didn't...
394
00:16:06,304 --> 00:16:07,737
I didn't recognize you.
395
00:16:07,739 --> 00:16:09,105
You just saw me walk in that bathroom.
396
00:16:09,107 --> 00:16:10,873
What's wrong with you?
397
00:16:11,876 --> 00:16:14,076
And off we go!
398
00:16:17,448 --> 00:16:18,981
Donuts?
399
00:16:18,983 --> 00:16:21,851
Some kind of deal on donuts.
400
00:16:21,853 --> 00:16:23,953
Hey, man,
we got a surplus of Santas here.
401
00:16:23,955 --> 00:16:25,454
If you want, there's an empty sidewalk
402
00:16:25,456 --> 00:16:26,823
in front of the Clip'n'Go.
403
00:16:26,825 --> 00:16:28,457
Yeah, homie, keep it moving.
404
00:16:29,366 --> 00:16:31,227
And what if I don't?
405
00:16:35,110 --> 00:16:37,466
Hey, man.
Thanks for giving John that job.
406
00:16:37,468 --> 00:16:38,901
Oh, sure.
407
00:16:38,903 --> 00:16:41,037
That guy's been pushed around by life.
408
00:16:41,039 --> 00:16:42,872
Right? You know, sometimes,
409
00:16:42,874 --> 00:16:44,774
people just need the
kindness of strangers
410
00:16:44,776 --> 00:16:46,242
to move them in the right direction.
411
00:16:46,244 --> 00:16:48,744
You know? It really gives me hope.
412
00:16:54,385 --> 00:16:57,453
Mommy, the Santas are fighting!
413
00:16:57,455 --> 00:16:58,621
Oh, come on!
414
00:16:58,623 --> 00:17:00,356
Damn it, John!
415
00:17:00,358 --> 00:17:02,758
Hey! Stop! Stop! Stop.
416
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,627
Stop, stop. Come on.
417
00:17:04,629 --> 00:17:06,996
- Get in. What are you doing?
- What... what the hell
418
00:17:06,998 --> 00:17:08,931
is going on out there?
419
00:17:08,933 --> 00:17:11,200
We were having a holly,
jolly conversation,
420
00:17:11,202 --> 00:17:12,869
and then he got in our faces.
421
00:17:12,871 --> 00:17:14,937
Come on, man, John.
I-I stood up for you, man.
422
00:17:14,939 --> 00:17:16,339
I-I was just doing my job.
423
00:17:16,341 --> 00:17:17,406
Yeah, well, not anymore.
424
00:17:17,408 --> 00:17:18,507
You're fired.
425
00:17:18,509 --> 00:17:19,642
What?
426
00:17:19,644 --> 00:17:22,211
You can't fire Santa.
427
00:17:22,213 --> 00:17:23,579
Oh. Hey, no.
428
00:17:23,581 --> 00:17:25,781
Uh... he...
hey, he's just Santa's helper.
429
00:17:25,783 --> 00:17:27,416
Oh, h-he... We're sending him
back to the North Pole
430
00:17:27,418 --> 00:17:31,687
for some anger management classes.
431
00:17:32,374 --> 00:17:33,456
You know what?
432
00:17:33,458 --> 00:17:35,024
I don't need your help.
433
00:17:35,737 --> 00:17:37,660
But I will take the suit as payment.
434
00:17:40,465 --> 00:17:42,632
Hey, listen, I'm sorry, kid,
but he crossed the line.
435
00:17:42,634 --> 00:17:44,233
- I'm out.
- Yep.
436
00:17:44,235 --> 00:17:45,501
Me, too.
437
00:17:45,503 --> 00:17:49,071
You ever have a man grab your
sack and beat you with it?
438
00:17:49,073 --> 00:17:51,073
It's humiliating.
439
00:17:51,075 --> 00:17:52,575
We tried. He's impossible.
440
00:17:52,577 --> 00:17:53,910
Sorry.
441
00:17:54,790 --> 00:17:55,912
Well, you know what?
442
00:17:55,914 --> 00:17:57,446
Let me guess.
443
00:17:57,448 --> 00:17:59,415
He's a human being, man.
444
00:17:59,417 --> 00:18:01,751
He needs our help, man.
445
00:18:02,487 --> 00:18:03,486
No.
446
00:18:03,488 --> 00:18:05,087
I'm done with him, too.
447
00:18:05,089 --> 00:18:07,023
- Really?
- Yeah.
448
00:18:07,025 --> 00:18:08,891
Maybe y'all are right. Maybe...
449
00:18:08,893 --> 00:18:10,927
Maybe he is a lost cause.
450
00:18:11,796 --> 00:18:14,430
Oh, well, look, Franco.
451
00:18:14,432 --> 00:18:17,733
Maybe we can find some
other homeless guy to help.
452
00:18:17,735 --> 00:18:19,502
You know, like that guy over in the park
453
00:18:19,504 --> 00:18:23,172
who teaches Pilates to the squirrels?
454
00:18:23,902 --> 00:18:25,074
No, I ain't dragging y'all into that.
455
00:18:25,076 --> 00:18:26,075
Franco, come on.
456
00:18:26,077 --> 00:18:28,311
No. Wha-wha... it was a stupid idea.
457
00:18:28,313 --> 00:18:30,913
I-I never should've gotten involved.
458
00:18:30,915 --> 00:18:32,715
Wow.
459
00:18:32,717 --> 00:18:34,083
He's really taking it hard.
460
00:18:34,085 --> 00:18:35,584
Yeah.
461
00:18:35,586 --> 00:18:39,088
Even his hair seems sad.
462
00:18:39,575 --> 00:18:41,390
I feel terrible we let him down.
463
00:18:41,392 --> 00:18:43,492
Well, you should. He's giving up.
464
00:18:43,494 --> 00:18:46,295
Franco can't give up.
We need his idealism.
465
00:18:46,297 --> 00:18:50,032
Fawz, I've never seen
this side of you before.
466
00:18:50,034 --> 00:18:52,802
I mean, who am I gonna mock?
467
00:18:52,804 --> 00:18:56,806
Making fun of his ridiculous
optimism is my jam.
468
00:18:58,443 --> 00:18:59,642
You idiots!
469
00:18:59,644 --> 00:19:01,410
You broke Franco!
470
00:19:22,241 --> 00:19:23,834
What the hell's going on?
471
00:19:23,836 --> 00:19:27,371
Well, we felt really bad
about giving up on John.
472
00:19:27,373 --> 00:19:29,106
So we decided to throw a party
473
00:19:29,108 --> 00:19:30,774
for our friends from the neighborhood.
474
00:19:30,776 --> 00:19:33,443
Wha... You-you did this for me?
475
00:19:33,445 --> 00:19:34,845
Nope. You were right.
476
00:19:34,847 --> 00:19:36,013
This shouldn't be about us.
477
00:19:36,015 --> 00:19:38,582
It should be about helping
people who really need it.
478
00:19:39,256 --> 00:19:41,818
Some with hepatitis.
479
00:19:43,408 --> 00:19:44,288
We don't want you losing
480
00:19:44,290 --> 00:19:45,856
your optimism.
481
00:19:45,858 --> 00:19:48,625
This is great, man.
This is a Kwanzaa miracle!
482
00:19:48,627 --> 00:19:50,360
I think.
483
00:19:50,362 --> 00:19:54,765
And, by the way,
let's say hi to our guest of honor.
484
00:19:54,767 --> 00:19:56,533
Hey!
485
00:19:56,535 --> 00:19:58,168
Who is this handsome devil?
486
00:19:58,170 --> 00:19:59,469
Hey, it's me. John.
487
00:20:00,334 --> 00:20:01,538
Are you blind?
488
00:20:02,538 --> 00:20:04,374
Y-You... you look great, dude.
489
00:20:04,376 --> 00:20:05,375
We got him a coat.
490
00:20:05,377 --> 00:20:07,211
And I got him a job.
491
00:20:07,213 --> 00:20:08,832
- Are you serious?
- Yes!
492
00:20:08,867 --> 00:20:09,947
With the Business Council.
493
00:20:09,949 --> 00:20:12,282
He goes around and makes
sure that all the businesses
494
00:20:12,284 --> 00:20:13,750
are following the rules.
495
00:20:13,752 --> 00:20:16,453
The perfect job for a dick.
496
00:20:16,943 --> 00:20:17,721
You know it!
497
00:20:19,486 --> 00:20:22,584
And, uh, you have
a light bulb out in the alley.
498
00:20:22,619 --> 00:20:24,027
And a loose lid on the dumpster.
499
00:20:24,029 --> 00:20:25,696
Don't ask me how I know that.
500
00:20:27,733 --> 00:20:31,268
Man, this-this proves there's
no such thing as a lost cause.
501
00:20:31,955 --> 00:20:34,938
And if we all come together, we can...
we can do anything.
502
00:20:34,940 --> 00:20:37,474
Mm. I'm glad I still have the mask on.
503
00:20:37,476 --> 00:20:39,509
It's keeping the vomit in.
504
00:20:42,656 --> 00:20:45,549
Franco's back.
505
00:20:45,551 --> 00:20:47,317
God bless us, everyone.
506
00:20:48,387 --> 00:20:50,487
Aw, come here, man.
507
00:20:57,416 --> 00:20:59,421
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