Original subtitles

Oh, my

love.

Jump in.

Yeah. Probably not the best song choice for a husband and father -in -law duet.

Hey, you haven't forgotten about tonight, have you?

Jenna's birthday.

Dinner at the dog. Hard treats.

We know.

Before we are being whisked away.

to spend the morning of our 25th anniversary waking up in Paris.

Lisa, I keep telling you, Pauline has kept me completely out of the loop. All

know is that wherever you're going, I've paid for half of it.

Hey, what, if it's New York?

For one night.

Oh, yeah. No, you're right.

Well,

it's love you and leave you time. Keep working on him. He knows something.

Done. Does this look like the face of a man who knows out?

No, it doesn't.

Oh.

Happy birthday, Jenna.

Is that it?

What do you mean, is that it? I thought that was pretty good.

Had to cut the thorns off that thing, you know. Yeah?

I think we can do better.

I assume Nan has taken Talitha to school?

Yes. And your shift starts when?

In about 20 minutes.

How is your attendance record this year, by the way?

Completely unsullied.

Well then, since it's my birthday... How's about we sully it?

Again. Third time's the charm.

Technically, it's the fourth time.

Kind of running out of jobs to show you. Yeah.

Pretty much promised Fergie I'd get one, though, so... Right.

Well,

I might just go and have a word with him, actually, cos he's on a call.

Sounded important, but he did mention that you didn't have any appointments

morning, though. Did he now?

Hiya. Hiya.

Oh, Jane.

You're here.

Again.

Sorry, Lisa. It's, um... It's my letter of resignation.

Are you handing in your notice?

On Hello Kitty stationery.

Right.

Granny, do you think you're ready for the day? Everything seems to be in

I am, please.

Dad. Pauline. Right, you.

Jacket. Let's go.

Oh, how did you get there?

Oh, it's for your support. I was only borrowing him.

What?

One of us has to be the fun grandparent.

Excuse me, mate.

I'm looking for... Callum!

Pauline.

But you're not supposed to be here.

another two days.

Oh, right. Nice to see you too after 40 years.

What? No, no, I didn't mean... Hey, hey, you're fine. The rest of the lads are

coming on Sunday, as planned.

I've just been doing a radio thing in Rochdale that didn't seem worth heading

home.

Oh,

dear. Oh,

look at you.

You haven't changed a bit.

Well, I must have done. I mean, you look positively ancient.

This is Bradley, the landlord.

How are you doing?

Callum's in the band for Sunday. At least for a dance surprise party.

Yes, you do know they're not actually here at the moment? Oh, sure up, you.

This is Roger. He's an idiot.

Roger, you do know who this is, don't you? You are looking at a founding

of Mumble Hedges' original, original line -up.

Sacked us all off to go it alone, didn't you? Only to come crawling back on

arthritic knee.

Drink.

11 .15 in the morning. I used to think we were rock and roll.

Actually, I'm going to go and check in. I'm staying at the Four Corners.

Just wanted to see if you were free later, really.

I'm working tonight.

I'm sorry, Callum.

Maybe tomorrow.

Sure. Yeah, you know where we're at.

Bradley.

Roger. Nice to see you. And you.

Yes, a huge fan of your work.

Favourite album?

Well, I'll be honest. I wasn't expecting you to call my bluff, sir.

Live and learn, eh?

Lovely to see you, Pauline.

And you.

What?

I've been so worried about telling you, Lisa.

I haven't slept, I've barely eaten.

I've not touched one of Olive's pork chops for days.

So, you want to start your own creche?

Yeah. A creche for working mums.

Like I was. I mean, I'm.

Well, like you were.

I mean, I'm.

I mean, I... I want to run my own business, just like you did.

I'm so sorry, Lisa.

Well, don't be silly.

I think running your own crash is a lovely idea.

And you'd be brilliant at it.

But it's not easy.

There's so many things you've got to think about.

Like advertising.

Well, I put a card in the post office.

I've had 12 calls this morning.

Oh, right.

Sure.

And there's also... Who

am I kidding?

You'll just make a massive, big, bloody success of it like you always do with

everything. Come here.

And do you know something, Lisa? This sort of solves our mutual problem too,

doesn't it?

What?

Hey.

Say hello to your new replacement secretary.

Oh, actually, I'm a senior recruitment consultant.

Oh? Say hello to your new senior recruitment consultant.

Jane, you've no previous experience in senior recruitment consulting in...

correct me if I'm wrong, Lisa.

Wasn't your last one an ex -model?

Oh, yeah.

She's right, Lisa.

I was.

Lisa, I'm going to need you to jump on this call, wouldn't you? Sorry, Fergus,

I'm in the middle of something here. Yeah, well, I'm sort of in the middle of

something here. I've got ladies and bee recruitments on the phone.

What, that big stupid chain that keeps nicking all our clients? What do they

want? They want to buy further.

Builder anniversary.

God, you're really old, aren't you?

I'm so mad at you, you dick.

Oh, that can't be right, because I've only been married a year, so

I'm only 21.

Spiritually?

She's changing you, you know that. You're getting all hippy -dippy.

Oh, look at this.

Um, excuse me, could you move forward a bit? I need to get my van out.

Order in.

Yeah, all good.

Go on.

Paul!

What are you doing?

Paul, they don't like to want to swap insurance details.

No, Paul!

Get out of here, do it! Get out! Get out! Get out!

Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out!

No, well, it's certainly a very generous offer, but... Well, the thing is, we're

not really looking to sell.

If you did want to take the money and run, that would be fine.

But we'd also like you.

We'd like to make you both branch managers.

We've got new offices opening up in Milton Keynes and York.

You'd be individually overseeing a team of 20 on nearly two and a half times the

salary you're currently paying yourselves.

That's not to mention the other bonuses, the comfort car and free private health

care insurance.

Yeah, yeah, we're still here. Sorry.

Look, I'm going to email over the full details and we can talk again Monday.

Look forward to speaking to you both then.

Yeah, Monday.

No problem. Bye. Bye.

Oh,

my God.

Bagsy Milton Keynes.

No, no, no. I bagsy'd. No take -backs.

I've got to go home. I've got to tell Dan. I've got to tell my dad.

I'm taking the afternoon off.

Oh, I don't work here anymore.

Jane, Lisa's taken the afternoon off.

Right. Lisa, wait.

Don't you think we should talk about this for a minute?

What's there to talk about?

This is all we've ever dreamed about, Fergus.

Oh, come here.

So, is all of

this going to affect my new job here?

We got about five minutes down the road and he started having a panic attack.

It was all I could do to stop him turning around and head him back.

Fleeing the scene of an accident is a crime, Greg.

I don't know what I was thinking listening to you.

Don't be such a big girl. Blow down.

It's only a little hit and run.

I've committed worse felonies than that without actually leaving the house.

What sort of felonies?

Huh? Oh, don't worry.

Jesus, what's she doing back?

You won't believe what's just happened.

Let me scratch your van.

No, no.

Oh, who cares? I'll buy you another one. Is Dad in? Yeah, he's with Molly. Did

you say you'd buy me a new van? Yeah, if you want one.

Come on inside. I've got big news for you.

You too.

Everything all right, Officer Miller?

Fine. He's worrying because the superintendent asked to see him first

tomorrow. Oh, in trouble, are we? No, I'm not in trouble.

He was an hour and a half late today.

Apparently helping a nun change her tyre.

A broken -down nun.

Well, I guess it's a step up from the dog ate my homework.

Oh, do wish Jenna a happy birthday from me, eh?

Denise, how'd it go?

All right, I suppose.

How did Lisa take the news?

She's moving to Milton Key.

Blimey. Didn't expect her to take it that badly.

Hands up.

She was going to say she was pregnant.

Oh, come on. Big news, she said. I know you were all thinking it.

Oh, um... Well, this is just as good, obviously.

Oh, come on, Dan.

Say something.

I, um... Don't know what to say.

I do.

I'm proud of you, Flower.

Me too.

This is just... It's amazing.

It really is, Liz.

Congratulations.

Well, I was only co -managing director, so I suppose we should give Fergus some

credit, but still.

Are you really happy, Dan?

This is on the level, right?

It's definitely not a scam. Dan, Dan, it's real.

All of it.

You know what this means?

This changes everything.

We can have that extension we've always talked about.

Yeah, well, more space is always a possibility.

There's just... There's one thing that I probably need to...

Mum, are you never going to believe what...

Sorry?

We're on about Milton Keynes.

Why would we be moving to...

Well, yeah.

Yeah, I was, um... I was just getting to that.

Why does he have to go, too?

Well, he's not going to stay here by himself, is he, Mum?

Why not?

That is what I would do if you all suddenly decided to upstick. We did all

suddenly decide to upstick, Mum. Three years ago, you still came.

Tried slipping out in the middle of the night, but she managed to track us down.

Well, I just can't believe it.

It's like the end of an era.

Oh, I wouldn't go that far. It's not like I'm Monica the Close or anything.

Oh, look at his little face. He doesn't want to go home.

How are you feeling about it all, Dan? Well, we've had plenty of time to get

used to the idea.

Three whole hours, so it's not like it's some mad, spontaneous decision or

anything. Oh, give over.

He's loving it. He's going to be a kept man.

I'm not against it in principle, but we do still have a lot to talk about. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. I know we've got a lot to talk about, a lot to sort out, a lot to

do. And I promise we'll get all over it as soon as we get back from our trip

from... Venice.

You OK, Pauline?

Not really, Roger, no.

You know, it's not as far away as you think.

It's two and a half hours, Roger.

Two and a half hours every time I want to see me granddaughter.

Well, just remember, there are some people who would kill to have someone

travelling that distance for.

Worth travelling any distance for.

See, I'm not saying that I always knew this sort of thing would happen, but...

He said, he said, I think we've stolen enough thunder for tonight. Let's just

remember what we're all here for, eh?

Oh, of course. Of course.

To the best friend and the best neighbour anyone could ever wish for.

birthday, Jenna.

Happy birthday, Jenna. Happy birthday, Jenna.

Oh,

here he is.

The man who put fur into birds. Now then.

Yes, right.

Happy birthday, Cameron.

Do you think I could have a quick word?

Yes, of course. Excuse me.

What if I was to come along too?

We're prepared to pay maintenance.

What's up?

Well, you just took off.

This afternoon, before we had a chance to discuss anything.

Oh, I know, I know. I was just so excited. Look, I'll work everything out

Monday morning and we'll go through all the details.

Lisa.

Lisa.

We can't do this.

What do you mean?

I mean, it'd be a mistake.

A mistake?

Fergus, we have built a company that's about to become part... Of a nationwide

chain. Exactly.

Part of.

Don't you remember why we started all this?

It was about being independent, you know, our own boss.

Not having to answer to anybody.

If we do this, then we won't be Fairfax anymore.

We'll be a cog in a machine.

Just like we used to be. Just like we were at Reconnect.

No.

No, no, I'm sorry. No.

What they are offering us is life -changing.

And I'm not just talking about our lives.

I'm talking about Molly's and Josh and Emily's.

It'll be a mistake.

Right.

I guess you'll have to take your half the money

and...

Do with it what you will.

Because I'm accepting this job for a good.

I'm sorry.

I really am.

I'm thinking it didn't go very well.

No, love.

No, I didn't.

I don't understand it.

I always thought we were the same, him and me.

One eye on the future, always working towards something.

And then when we finally get there, he just gives up.

Maybe he was happy with things the way they were.

To be honest, I always kind of thought we were, too.

Well, it's nothing to do with being happy.

You can be happy and still want more out of life.

Anyway, I don't want to talk about it. I'll just get upset again.

It'd be nice going away, wouldn't it?

Just the two of us.

Give us a chance to really take all this in.

Did you know that my dad flinched when I fed Venice?

He didn't flinch.

I love you.

I love you too.

Did you check the passport? Good night, Lisa.

He definitely flinched.

She's here.

All right, then.

Bonjour.

Yeah? Right then.

Happy anniversary, Eve.

Oh, thank you, Pauline. Thanks, Dad.

I don't know what to say.

Smile and wave, Lisa.

Smile and wave.

Well, that's that.

Now it's just a case of getting everything set up for tomorrow night.

Guess it's as much a leave -in do as an anniversary party now.

Come on, Pauline. I'll drive you down.

You're thinking about our new life, aren't you?

Uh, yeah.

No, you're not. What are you thinking about?

Blackpool.

All right, yes, I am. I'm thinking about Blackpool.

Look, I like Blackpool, OK? I'm sorry, but I do.

In fact, hang on.

What am I apologising for? You like Blackpool and all.

You used to go there all the time, weren't you?

We've, uh, started seeing a new film.

Yeah, yeah, we did.

Did you see?

This is a lovely present.

Yeah, you're right.

It's a lovely present.

Gonna have fun.

Plus, I suppose this will be the last British seaside holiday that we ever

What? That'll be all Caribbean cruises and villas in the Seychelles from here

out. What?

Not a word to Mummy, OK?

Cam!

What are you doing here?

Why aren't you in uniform?

I'm not in uniform because I've had to hand it in.

What?

Nana.

Cameron, what is it?

What's happened?

I had to see the superintendent this morning. You mean about yesterday?

I know you were late, but... It wasn't about that. It wasn't about that.

Cameron? Actually, it's D .I. Cameron to you. I'm back, starting first thing

Monday morning.

You stupid grave!

Bloody... I told you, I told you, didn't I?

I'm so proud of you.

Barry?

What's wrong?

I thought I did.

What was it again?

It was lunch.

Tomorrow. Question mark.

Oh, yeah, so it was.

Um... OK, then.

Sure. Why not?

Smiley face.

How's that?

Well, I was hoping for a winky smiley.

But it'll do, I suppose.

Bob, one hour?

Yeah, see you then.

All right, Jenna.

Now?

What for?

Bloody hell.

Have they taken anything?

Doesn't look like it.

Every room's like this, though.

Has to be kids, but... Middle of the day, like this, here.

It's really weird.

Almost like you were deliberately targeted.

Lisa's going to kill me. Oh, don't be so bloody stupid, Barry.

This is hardly your fault.

I left the door unlocked.

This means we're not covered, don't it?

I don't know.

Only had the place decorated a few months ago.

The old house.

Now they're coming home on their anniversary to this.

Pauline, Molly's over the road with us. I'm going to head over and call the

station.

No.

No, don't do that.

Barry's right.

Not about Lisa killing you. That's probably 50 -50.

You know what I mean about this?

We can't let them come home to this.

Not on their anniversary.

Not when they're about to leave.

No.

They must never know.

Look.

No, and Lisa, she kept all the receipts, right? From when you did the place up?

In the box room, probably. What does that mean? Tell you what it means. It

that we've effectively got a list of all the wallpapers and all the paint and

where they bought it from.

Well, if we move quick, it'll be like none of this even happened.

Oh, Lynne, it took them nearly a fortnight.

Well, of course it bloody well did. That was Barry and Dan, wasn't it? But it

wouldn't be this time. It would be all of us.

The whole gang.

is going to say no, are they?

Not for Lisa and Dad.

Not too bad, is it?

A single bed's done.

It's if we can't push a couple of beds together.

There's no bath.

Really determined to have fun, aren't you?

Dan?

You know that big white hotel that we passed on the... Yeah?

What about it?

Dad and Pauline, well, they need never know. Oh, for God's sake, Lisa. I bet

there's a jacuzzi and a spa and a widescreen TV in every room. Yeah, and I

it costs about 600 quid a night. We can afford it.

Can I just remind you that you're not actually in this job yet and that we

have to find a house, not to mention a school for our Molly, not to mention to

put ours on the market and work out exactly what I'm supposed to be doing

we get there.

Well, you'll plumb.

I'll plumb?

Yeah. Your plum.

Oh, come on, Dan.

It's our anniversary.

We should be spending it in style.

Peter, we're not going to the big white hotel.

OK?

We're fine here.

Have a lot?

I think so.

Good.

All right, OK.

OK, here's the deal.

Dan and Lisa will be arriving back here tomorrow evening around six.

That gives us just under a day and a half to get this place looking exactly

they left it.

It's their anniversary.

And, as you know, it's going to be the last one they'll be spending here in

Mount Pleasant.

So... So let's make it a happy one.

Exactly. Plus, it'll really get Barry here out the shit.

To start off with, we're going to need some of your tidying, some of your

pasting and some of your painting.

Light refreshments will, of course, be provided.

And your evening meal will consist of pizza.

And possibly a few tinnies.

Any questions?

Yeah.

Does anybody want to swap aprons?

Oh!

Yes, and speaking of which, why aren't you wearing one?

Because I've got to pop out.

Excuse me?

I do still have a party to arrange on top of this lot, you know.

Anyway, won't be long.

Bradley's in charge till I get back.

Hang on, why did he get to be injured?

Because I'm her favourite, and you just talked yourself into the toilet shift.

And as for the rest of you, start where you like.

Hey, congratulations, by the way.

Newly reappointed D .I. Miller.

How did you know that? Your less -than -silent partner swung by earlier.

Seriously, though, congratulations.

Long overdue.

Thanks, Bradley.

Look, Mrs J, I'm running an entire pub by myself and feeding my baby. I'm the

girl who can do it all. Yeah, don't get cocky.

You're only quacks are press -ganged off your regulars.

Is this Stockholm?

Yeah, outback.

Banners, balloons and God knows what else.

So where's Finlay?

Oh, Star's Climb.

Pauline. Callum!

Oh, God.

I completely forgot.

Of course you did.

Don't worry. My new friend here told me all about your interior design crisis.

Two seconds.

Oh,

for you.

That's two out of three.

That was two out of three.

That's three out of five.

Double or nothing.

Callum, you'd better not be hustling my Finn.

Hey, am I hustling you?

Her Finn?

Technically, no. Before we even started, he said he wiped the floor with me.

I just didn't believe him.

That's me.

Underestimated since 1972.

Anyway, look, you're here now.

Can't we at least have one little drink together?

I'm sorry, Callum.

I really can't. Oh, yes, you can, Pauline.

We've got, like, ten people over there.

But Finn and I can sort out all the party stuff when we close tonight.

I'm buying?

Yeah.

No, you're not.

But you can have one on the house. Come on.

I've come to relieve you.

Oh.

Have you now?

No, no, I mean...

I've come to watch the kids while she writes. I know what you meant, Barry.

I can't do it. Do what?

Paint Dan and Lisa's house.

Firstly, because I'm too lazy.

But mostly, because I don't want them to sell it. I don't want you to go, Barry.

And you don't want to go either, do you?

Then why don't you tell them?

How can I?

It's your home, Barry.

My home is wherever that little one is.

It's not fear.

It's just not fear.

How are you getting on, Guy?

Yeah, we're good.

Yeah.

Hey.

Ah, cheers, love. There you go.

Well, you haven't done much.

No, well, I'm still warming up, really, you know.

I'm surprised you agreed to help out with all this after everything.

Yeah, but she's my mate.

She'd do for me.

We may be going our separate ways now, but she'd do for me.

Yeah, she would.

Fergie, I've been thinking.

This half of the money that you're going to get, is it going to be more than

what you put into the business at the start?

You're joking, aren't you?

We started it with nothing.

We had about two grand between us.

If nothing else, at least I can safely say that, well, I'm going to get a good

return on my investment.

So, why not do it again?

Do what?

Start your own business. You've done it before.

Do it again.

And if doing it on your own is what bothers you, then... What, you?

Jane, for the past year, you haven't even wanted a job.

I got one yesterday.

Briefly. Yeah, but only because you knew with me as a boss you'd get away with

murder. Yeah, that had crossed my mind.

But this time you won't be my boss.

You'll be my partner.

Which means that you would have to start doing some work.

Yeah.

I'd do it, though.

Are you serious?

Fergie, I know you.

I know what you're capable of. You could do all of this on your own, but you

wouldn't.

Because you need somebody by your side.

You always have done.

Or you just don't do it.

And since I, unfortunately, happen to love you, I suppose this time that

should be me.

Ah!

Nice! Sold out another one, that thing.

Got you on a note.

Get off!

Make me hair up!

Oh, for God's sake, Lisa, we're on holiday.

You don't see me worrying about me hair, do you?

I'm not being funny, Dan, but why would you?

We'd better start scouting around for somewhere to eat later. I might have to

book.

Book?

This isn't Blackpool, Lisa.

You don't have to book.

Dan.

I think we can do a bit better than fish and chips.

That sentence doesn't make any sense.

You won't let me treat you to a nice hotel. At least let me treat you to some

fine dining.

Hello.

Beautiful blonde.

Offering to buy you dinner.

And we are celebrating.

Are you referring to our anniversary, or...? Yeah.

Of course, our anniversary.

OK. Just checking. Yeah.

Oh, chips are great.

Oh, I'd completely forgotten about that.

Oh, dear, what were we like, eh, the three of us?

You know, I really was sorry to hear about Charlie.

I would have had you all there, you know I would, but... Oh, Charlie.

Always made me promise he'd never have a funeral.

He said he couldn't stand the thought of people seeing him in a box.

Yeah, I get that.

The man who always lived his life outside of one.

We used to see you sometimes on top of the pops.

I don't know how. I was always lurking in the shadows with the other backing

vocalists. Charlie would always spot you, point you out.

He missed you, you know.

I missed him.

Did you ever know why I left?

I never knew why you left.

Didn't you?

Still, I suppose in his own way, eventually he got me back in.

Not that I had any choice.

The rest of them couldn't sing their way out of a sick bag.

Very true.

So how's it been?

Good. Yeah, yeah, we've done a few gigs now.

In fact, we've got a big one coming up next weekend.

Glasgow. You should come.

What, to Glasgow?

Yeah. Why not?

What's wrong, Barry?

You're not going to tell me you've burnt the place down and all now, are you?

No, no. It's not quite as bad as a fire, but... Hoy, Lee.

Hi.

I was moving the ladder from the stairs to the living room and Greg was supposed

to be guiding me.

I wasn't. Can you take the plane, please? You're my husband.

We've had a bit of a window breakage incident.

All right, I'm coming back.

See if you can avoid driving an oil tanker through the wall before I get

Big white hotel.

This better just be dinner, Lisa.

Don't start trying to surreptitiously book us a room while we're there.

Oh, heaven forbid.

Listen, do you think we should, erm, get a taxi, or rather than...

Rather than?

Well, the hotel car park might be just for guests, so maybe we should park

the corner, or... Or play that one by here.

Take that hat off.

It's nothing.

You can get a new one of these, but in ten minutes, it'll barely cost you.

Eh, Shiller?

Trust me, I've been in rock and roll bands since the 70s. I have a lot of

experience with broken windows.

Hello. Hello.

I'm trying to find you somewhere local.

Oh, thanks, Callum.

Looks like the window thing's going to be OK. There's a nice man in leather

trousers on the case.

So, Denise, when do you get your best client?

Oh, Monday.

I've got a banker, a supermarket manager and a lollipop lady.

Oh.

You'd think they'd all be able to take care of themselves, wouldn't you?

I don't know if you know, but, er, Cameron's starting a new job on Monday

Oh, yeah, I heard.

Of course you did.

Surprised it isn't on Facebook.

Oh, it's brilliant news. Well done.

Um, why is it they took it off you in the first place again?

I forget, Denise.

Of course, you know why I got it back, though, don't you?

The robbery.

Robbery? Yeah, the bank robbery.

Last year.

Oh, you were part of that, too. You chased down the gum, remember?

Maybe that's why the superintendent wants to see you on Monday.

You've got to see the super on Monday.

Yeah.

Why? Do you think that's what it's about?

Almost certainly.

You're going to get promoted too?

Detective Inspector Ollie?

No.

Cameron used to be a DI.

That's why he got it. I'm just going to bump me up three ranks.

I suppose if they were going to promote me, they'd probably just make me...

Sergeant.

They're going to make you a sergeant.

Er, Cameron, aren't most DIs usually assigned a sergeant?

I can almost guarantee it.

Oh, wow.

That'll be awesome.

You'd be like Mark Pattinson, Holmes and Watford.

We'd be like Holmes and Watford, Jenna.

I know, love.

I know.

Oh, thank you.

The whiteness, ma 'am. Oh, right.

I recommend the Cabernet Sauvignon.

Oh, that sounds lovely.

I'm just saying, that's the kind of thing we're going to have to start

used to.

Branch manager for a firm like Latham Biz.

We'll get invited to loads of seminars and business retreats. We?

Oh, yeah.

People always take their wives.

What did you say?

People always take their partners.

It wasn't actually my fault, really.

It was my husband. He was supposed to be guiding me.

Excuse me. Hi. Pizza bear. Thank you.

Oh, no, that's not him.

That's actually my ex -husband.

Come on. Yes, I'm coming.

Pizza's here.

Come on.

I thought we ordered chicken.

It is chicken.

how amazing you've all been today.

And I'm just really sorry that you'll never get any credit for it.

Well, you will from me. All of you. Yeah, and me. I'd say we're well over

halfway finished with an entire day still to go.

Oh, I never doubted you.

Cheers! Cheers!

So, are we going to get any music or what? I'm working on it. I'm working on

So, I'm going to show these kids how it's done.

It's not the first dance at a wedding.

What

is

wrong with you? You've had a... Face on all through dinner. Dinner?

You call that dinner?

We've just sat through three courses of what they might as well have brought us

on a single saucer.

What are we doing here, Lisa?

What do you mean?

What is this?

All this?

You know... You haven't even asked me if it's what I want.

Us moving away.

Starting a new life.

You haven't actually had me.

I must have done.

And, um... Is it?

If it means spending the next 25 years with you, then yes.

Of course it is.

But the real you.

Not the one who went to work yesterday and for some reason didn't come back.

I don't know her.

I don't know the Lisa who turns her nose up at a seaside B &B in a bag of chips

and who'd rather park half a mile away than be seen climbing out of a van.

I don't know her at all.

And I don't think you do either.

Lisa, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean for that to sound... I'm fine, I'm fine.

Look, look, look, I promise.

Oh,

wind your neck in, table eight.

Now this, this is the least I can move to Milton Keynes with.

I want to go and get Molly ready for bed.

Are you stopping?

Yeah, I'll take Lisa and Downs.

I don't know what I'd have done without you today, Pauline.

Don't start getting all emosh, Barry.

Plenty of that to come later.

Yeah.

What are you still doing here?

Haven't you got home to go to?

Not a bit, dear. No, no, no, no, no.

You've worked harder today than you've ever worked in your life.

Go on, clear off.

You need your beauty sleep.

So... You and Callum.

History, please.

What are you on about?

Pauline, it's me.

You know, when you...

Start to replay conversations and moments to yourself.

And the distance makes you pick up on all the little clues that you missed.

We've been friends since school, practically.

Him and me and Charlie. And somehow, I never saw it.

All those funny little throwaway jokes he'd make.

How he'd always look for me in the crowd before every gig.

Give me this playful salute.

How quiet he started to become when it was just the three of us together.

The way he used to look at me.

So he was in love with you.

It's why I left the band.

And you're going to pretend that you haven't noticed the way he still looks

you now?

Doesn't make any sense, does it?

And back then?

Yeah, sure.

I'm not going to lie to you, Roger.

I was pretty bloody smoking hot.

For now.

Flatters and terrifies you with equal measure, doesn't it?

Don't be so stupid. If anything, I find it funny.

Listen, can I give you... Can I give you just a little bit of advice?

I've got a feeling you're about to. You can't undo a lifetime.

I mean, you can't cheat on a memory.

No matter how cool I might make it look, being alone

is really not all it's cracked up to be.

Mmm, starving, weren't you? Yeah, bloody was.

Well, I'm sorry, Dan.

I get carried away, I do.

But you always manage to pull me back.

You'll never stop, will you?

Never.

Happy anniversary.

Happy anniversary, Tom.

I'm just looking to see how we can spend it.

There's a fascinating gallery exhibit on, showcasing contemporary work from

of the leading modern artists in their field.

Or there's this thing called the Pleasure Beach.

What's going on?

Pushing up a couple of spots in the box room.

Apart from that, it's just a case of tidying up.

A lot.

Four hours to go.

Right.

Let's chat more tidy.

Let's go.

It's Lisa.

Hello? Dad?

Oh, bugger.

No, I mean, I'm sorry. I mean, I put it on speaker.

So what?

So, er...

I don't know.

Dad, look, we've had the most amazing time.

You won't believe it. We were like a couple of kids.

I just want to say thank you. Thank you to you and Pauline.

It's a pleasure, kid.

Happy anniversary.

Actually, we're going to head back now.

Now? Yeah, well, we're a bit shagged out, to be honest, and Dan's just been

on the big nipper.

Shh! Oh,

he's not going to tell anyone, is he?

Is Molly there? Can I speak to her?

What do you mean, no?

I mean, she's playing with Talisa next door.

I mean, across the road.

Dad, why are you being weird?

I'm not being weird.

Maybe you're the one who's being weird.

What? What?

Give it here.

How's that?

We'll see you in about an hour and a half, OK?

Get the kettle on.

All right. I can't tell the others.

Hey, come on.

Hello? Hello?

What have you done?

So what do you put a tin of paint right by the door for anyway?

Why would you come barging in when someone shouts, Roger, don't?

Do they come in here much?

What are you thinking?

I'm thinking I've seen this carpet somewhere before.

Where?

Yeah? Hiya, Margaret.

Can we come in?

Terry!

You want our bedroom carpet?

Not all of it.

No, I'm pretty sure we'll probably have to take it all, Barry.

OK, then.

Make me an offer.

An offer?

Oh, we'll replace it, obviously.

Oh, I don't know, you'd have a job. They don't make them like this any more.

Good carpet, is there?

Deep shag.

Can I use your bathroom?

Second door on the right.

Terry, it's for Lisa and Dan.

Well, that says maybe our buzz, but it doesn't change the fact that we'll be

left with bare floorboards for the couple of nights, does it? And you know

trouble our Margaret here has with her feet.

I'm a slave to them.

No, I'm sorry, but a situation like this, generous financial remuneration

like the only option.

Um... Did you say first door on the right?

Second.

I want it in the first.

Carpet's yours.

Our gift to you.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no.

I think my dad's gone a bit mad with the air freshener.

This is what happens when you leave him on his own.

Molly!

Oh, no!

Molly, come here, you!

What's the cracker lacking?

Hiya, Dad.

Yeah, I missed you.

The kettle on or what?

Sorry.

Oh, don't worry.

I'll do it.

You just sit there and take it easy.

Are you two

going to be long?

We're supposed to meet in Parley for a drink.

We know, Dad.

We've been on the dodging, we've been on the rollercoaster, we've been stuck in

a van all day.

We just need a soak, all right?

OK.

It can't have been a dream.

Bird!

They're here!

You're looking lovely tonight.

All right, Denise, aren't you?

Anniversary, kids.

Speech! Yeah, speech!

Go on, give us a speech.

Oh, OK.

God.

25 years, eh, Dan?

25 years.

Well, I wish I did have a speech for you, but I didn't know who you were

to do all this for.

Well,

me and Dan, we know how much we love each other, don't we?

But there's a lot of people here tonight that deserve to know just how much

we love them.

Yeah.

Yeah, there are.

You know, don't you?

You nearly got away with it. If we hadn't decided to have a bath, then...

But you've no idea.

I'm glad we are that you did.

Where else in the world would a raving pair of knobheads like us somehow

earn the friends and the family and the neighbours

who would do something like that?

Certainly not in Milton Keynes, anyway.

Fergus.

You were right.

We would be just a cog in the machine.

A rich cog, like.

But still a cog.

And that's not us, is it?

No.

No, it's not.

So, what are you saying, then?

I suppose we're saying that we'd like to stay.

If you love us.

At least to our golden anniversary.

Yay!

Yay!

Thank God.

So can I still get my old job back?

It's good news.

Right, let's get the band on. Come on.

Come.

What actually happened?

Do you know?

Couldn't make Edna tell of it, to be honest.

Said to Barry, seemed like kids, but why'd I pick you?

There were some kids.

Red XR2, I kind of, er, twopped the wing mirror and fled the scene.

I told him not to.

You never... You fled the scene of an accident in a van that said Dan Johnson

Plumbing on the side, with your phone number.

What do you say, Red XR2?

I don't think Garage Friday afternoon and A were after a wing mirror.

You've got the details then?

Mum?

Is that Dad's... Is that Callum?

He's back in the band.

Oh, your dad would be made up if music lives on.

Actually...

They're doing a gig in Glasgow next weekend.

I was thinking of going.

I think that'd be all right.

Why wouldn't it be?

Absolutely no idea.

One, two, three, four.

It's official police business today.

Yeah, yeah.