Original subtitles

If you're prepared to fork out four grand to protect your little chav in

then you'd be prepared to take his place, wouldn't you? What have you got

tomorrow? It's only for show.

We're going to be grandparents!

What? Oh, congratulations!

I would hate to see you all humiliated in the papers over something so trivial

as one tiny little part.

Have you got room for two more on this protest of yours?

Three more.

And the rest.

To the revolution.

Revelation!

Well, I don't know whose dad you're shouting, but yours left an hour ago.

What? Where's he gone?

Camping shop with me mum and I, Molly.

Already?

He was going to talk to me first.

I've made a list.

He doesn't need a list.

He's got your debit card.

Oh, God.

He's going to come back with a caravan.

Not necessarily. There's an equally good chance he'll come back with some magic

beans.

What?

It's just occurred to me that we've got the house to ourselves for the second

time this millennium.

Really? What?

Really?

Dan, it's half nine in the morning.

Tonight we go to war.

There might not be another morning.

We are camping overnight in a kiddie's park, Dan.

Not invading Normandy.

I'm not Pedro.

Si, senorita.

It has been too long.

I can't be your hero, baby.

Please, not the song.

I can't kiss with the pain. Oh, yes.

I will stand by you forever.

You can't pay.

What's cracker like it?

What are you doing, Pedro?

Here's your card back, flower. I'll, um... I'll go downstairs.

Me and our kids are going to have a traditional boys' night in, and I can't

wait.

You all set for tonight?

Yeah, my mum's lending us the reglutin, which I was a bit worried about at

first, but apparently they're all made of rubber, so... Have you spoken to Jane

since she left?

No, why?

No reason.

Where's Roger?

I think he's still in bed.

Oh, no, no, no, not that one, son.

I've got no idea how that got in there.

Can I use your bathroom?

Yeah, knock yourself out.

Shall we pick another one?

What are you doing?

You can't come in here.

Oh, shut it. You've nothing I haven't seen before.

How do you know?

I am very cross with you, Roger. You had no right to do what you did. What are

you talking about?

You don't find well what I'm talking about.

No, I don't. To be honest, I'm barely even awake yet.

Jane and Emily ended up spending the entire weekend at mine because you

blackmailed them into leaving.

Oh, that.

Look,

you do realise that she's been lying to him, don't you? And did you think to ask

why? That maybe she was embarrassed, ashamed, that maybe she was going to

him, but she just needed time.

She had three weeks. How long do you need to tell the truth?

Well...

That all depends on whether you're still in love with him.

Doesn't it?

Did she say that?

She didn't have to.

I could tell.

I think that's why she came back.

You knew, didn't you? Well, no, I just... I sort of figured it out, you

afterwards. Oh, that's helpful.

Oh, look, it's not my fault.

I've been so bloody flattered about it.

Fergus has practically been writing chronicles since she left. What?

Stop it. Are you saying that he's still in love with her, too?

Well, I don't... I'm... You know, I'm... Right, that's it.

Pick me up outside my flat. 30 minutes. Oh, what? Why? Where are we going?

Well, what do you think?

Come on.

Come on.

Put them in there.

He's here.

Well, to be honest, Mum, I've seen you before.

You look lovely, Nana.

Where's the dink in you?

Well, I don't mind if he plays his cards right.

Anywhere he likes.

And we're done with breakfast.

Don't wait up.

in the channel. What does it look like? I'm trying to put this sodding thing

together, aren't I?

In here?

Why? So that we look like we know what we're doing later.

I'm not getting shown up in front of some bloke called Mole Rat or whatever.

Gopher. His name is Gopher.

Oh, yeah, because that's a lot less stupid, isn't it?

Why won't this thing fit together?

Are you sure you're reading that properly? Oh, right.

Give it here. Look. I have told you, I'm doing it. Give it to me.

Dad. I told you, I'm doing it.

How much did all this cost?

Does it matter? You can't put a price on that.

True.

How did you do that?

You read.

I'll build.

True.

Hello.

We haven't really said, but... What are we going to do when your mum and Greg

get back?

How do you mean?

We can't stay here, can we?

In your old bedroom.

And we can't go to mine. There's barely enough room for me if there is.

Yeah, actually, I've been thinking about that.

You have?

Yeah.

All right.

Hear me out, okay?

Funny thing.

Is that actually where Fergus lived for a bit after we... You know.

And now she's here.

Same place.

What exactly is the plan here?

I'm going to go in and fetch them, and then we'll drive back to Ferguson.

Yes, yes, but after that.

No, I don't know.

Roger, it's like my mum always says, when it comes to life and love,

all you've got to do is flip a coin and hope to roll a thing.

We're not open yet.

That's all right, love. We're from the brewery.

The brewery?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure we're expected.

Isn't that right, Bradley Dawson?

We are expected, aren't we?

You know, Denise, I'm really not sure about this.

I mean, as far as lies go, I had kind of got away with this one.

Oh, no.

You haven't got away with anything.

If we don't sort this out now... You and Emily are going to be drifting from

place to place, like travelling Normans.

Nomads. Got that.

He's going to be cross, but he's always cross about something.

He'll get pissed at, and you and him will be friends again.

Emily will have a dad, Josh will have his sister, and there may be... EB.

Just wait here, I'll go and speak to him.

He's a very positive person, isn't he to me?

Hmm.

It's annoying, isn't it? It really is.

Aw, she's missed you, Roger.

Have you missed her? No, I haven't.

Oh, it's not here.

Must have took out Josh or something.

One fatal flaw in an otherwise perfect plan.

What shall we do now, then? Shall we make a move?

Stop to wait for him, I suppose.

You're completely insane.

That's more of a statement than a question, isn't it? When is all this

to go down?

Tomorrow. Tomorrow?

Yeah. Why are you busy?

You haven't got a clue, have you?

None of you.

Have you even scoped the place?

Scoped the place, eh? I told you it was old school, didn't I?

Yeah. Yeah, we've scoped the place, yeah.

But that's not really something you need to be worrying about, is it?

Because you're just the driver, Bradley Dawson.

You really like saying my name, don't you?

Yeah. Do you remember when I used to carry some weight behind it?

You know, but you did over a few banks back in your time, didn't you? Not

my style.

No? No.

I met a few people who did. Do you want to know where?

Yeah, enlighten me.

Prison.

Yeah, I think we're done here.

See you tomorrow.

And we will see you tomorrow, won't we? Because...

Of course, if not, we could just pass the debt back to your little mechanic

and...

Hello?

Dad? Hello.

Um, who are you?

Who are they?

What? Oh, just, um, kids.

Trying to sell me cheap old cow car.

You said no, I hope.

Yeah, of course I did. What are you doing here?

Actually, there was something I wanted to talk to you about.

Are you OK?

Why don't you pop upstairs? I'll be up in a sec. OK.

Ding -dang -gooly -gooly -gooly -gooly -watcher, ding -dang -goo, ding -dang

-goo, ding -dang -gooly -gooly -gooly -gooly -watcher, ding -dang -goo, ding

-dang -goo, ding -dang -goo, ding -dang -goo, ding -dang -goo, ding -dang -goo,

ding -dang -goo, ding -dang -goo, ding -dang -goo, ding -dang -goo, ding -dang

-goo, ding -dang -goo, ding -dang -goo, ding -dang -goo, ding -dang -goo, ding

-dang -goo, ding -dang -goo, ding -dang -goo, ding -dang -goo,

ding -dang -goo, ding -dang -goo,

I'll give you a hand with your tent.

Pauline, is the wizard getting them up? I don't know why.

Because I spent half my life in them.

Our Dan was even conceived in one.

Was he? Yeah.

Isle of Wight Festival, 1970.

I remember that one especially.

We'd only just got married.

We had our first really big row.

First to many.

What was it about?

Oh, he thought I'd been flirting with Palmer.

Of Emerson, Lake and Palmer.

And had you?

Of course not.

Just someone who looked like him.

We didn't speak for the entire weekend after that.

Well, you must have done at some point, otherwise Dan wouldn't have... Come to

be. Come to be.

Charlie didn't need words to make things right.

He'd say it with a look.

He'd say it with a wink.

It was always that way.

Whenever we had a row.

Whether he was in the wrong or I was in the wrong.

Both of us too stubborn to back down.

Didn't matter if it had been hours, days or however long.

It always ended the same way.

I'd just look across at him.

And he'd give me a wink.

And I'd know that everything was going to be all right again.

But you don't know.

Oh, Pauline.

Lisa!

Lisa! Lisa!

Let me have a crack of cake. Have a crack of what? It's the zip. It's stuck.

Because she's pulled me too hard. I don't know why you're shouting at me.

I'm not shouting at you.

Wait, Lisa!

Lisa!

Hello?

Are you serious?

Do you want to move in here?

It won't be for long, I promise. We'll start looking for our own place soon,

until then... And he's OK with this?

Well, yeah.

So, is it a yes, or...? Are you kidding me? Yes, yes, it's a yes.

Bert. I love you, Bert.

I love you too.

Oh, you really don't have to, Ollie.

I don't mind.

I'm only going to support Lisa, really.

Erm, I've really got to go, Ollie.

I'll speak to you later.

Will you please stop leaving me alone in bed with him? It's very awkward.

Denise, how do you expect this is going to play out?

The moment the lies come out, they're just going to fall into each other's

They might.

It really is just rainbows and unicorns in your head, isn't it?

What happened to you?

When did you become so horrible?

What?

You used to help people, remember? People like them. No, I didn't. All I

sit in the vicarage and listen to people prattle on about their marriages over

a... A plate of jammy dodgers. It was awful. Yeah, but you helped them.

Denise, you don't understand.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You lost your faith and left your job. La, la, la, whatever.

You're still the same person, you know.

Whether you've got your dog lead on or not.

Colin. What?

Jane?

What time are you going to the protest?

Shut up.

Oh, no, it's okay.

I'm going too.

Stop it.

What do you mean you're going? Why are you going?

Denise is going to be there, isn't she?

She's got an igloo.

What?

Hey, do you want to go together?

Whoever it is, thank you.

Oh, it's you.

What's up?

Is it wrong?

You think I'd be calling you if it wasn't?

Why are you even bothering to tell me this?

We didn't think I should leave, properly leave, without telling you the truth.

He's already left.

A week ago.

Where have you even been?

I assume all that stuff about your sister and her boyfriend, that was just

as well.

Yeah.

Jane and Emily.

Stayed at mine last weekend.

And then at a motel.

Actually, funnily enough, it was the same one. No, no, no.

You made me feel sorry for you.

That is not what I was trying to do. Where are you going?

That's it, Emily, because you are going.

Go back to your motel or go back to your mother's. You know what? I don't even

care where you go anymore.

Yes, you do.

Excuse me?

You do care.

Why don't you sit back down?

Would you? No offence. Sit back down.

You, up.

Sorry? Come sit here, please.

Right.

Denise.

Yes?

Bring in the plate of jammy dodgers.

Right away.

Look, Baz, hippies.

Hippies in their natural habitat.

Well, the golem hits us now.

How do you know?

You're looking at the original.

Oi! Are you two going to give us a hand or what?

Equality stops when it comes to early lifting, Baz.

Come on, Mum.

I feel like a Kardashian.

Hey,

um,

are you and, uh...

The other one. Can it be all right for the rest of the evening? The rest of the

evening?

Yeah, we'll be fine.

Good. Just lock up at 11. We'll be upstairs, yeah?

Rightly.

What's this about?

He gave me attention.

That's all.

It wasn't about anything else.

Just that. Just attention.

I think I'd forgotten what it felt like.

What? I suppose we are. No, no, no.

You're not allowed to speak unless you're holding the conch.

I think in my own head, I didn't even consider it cheating. I was like, how

I be cheating?

What am I cheating on?

It's not like I had a marriage, really. Not on anything other than paper.

Barely won before I signed that.

Is that what it was like for you?

Is that why you... Um, should I, uh... Oh, sorry.

Should I go and check on the kid?

Denise, you don't have to hold the constant, you talk.

Oh, right.

Um... You don't have to go anywhere, Denise.

And no, that wasn't why I did what I did.

If I tried to pretend it was, then, well, that'd mean that I'm still as big

coward now as I was then.

No, I did what I did because I was selfish.

It's that simple.

I thought I deserved to have anything I wanted.

I didn't.

I certainly didn't deserve to come out the other side with a beautiful baby boy

and a best friend.

You probably deserve what I did to your toothbrush before I chucked your stuff

out. What?

It's called a couch.

Look, Fergus, I know what you're thinking. I know that you think I

couldn't tell you the truth because I was worried about losing some kind of

moral high ground or something, and it was never that, and it was never about

trying to make you feel sorry for me or guilt -tripping you about the past or

any of it.

I was just... I was ashamed.

Well, join the club.

I've been ashamed for six years.

I'm still ashamed.

I'll always be ashamed.

And you'd never have lost any moral high ground, not to me.

You didn't do what I did. Yes, I did.

No, you didn't.

You didn't hurt someone you still loved.

Feel free to freestyle the rest from here on in.

Oh, and by the way, this might have escaped your attention, but that was the

first time in ten years you're both all out of secrets.

Even the toothbrush one.

Have you not done it yet?

I've got them other two up.

Do you need Pauline? No, I don't. I'm fine.

Good. Then I don't know where she is.

Dad! Father! Oh, no.

Get off my land!

It's like carry -on camping, isn't it?

Having trouble, are you?

No.

What are you two doing here? We're testing the park.

Closure of the park, love. Closure of it.

Very important to us.

How did you do that?

Here they are, look!

Who's that?

Gopher.

Nice lad. Comes to our cafe.

Very popular with the ladies.

Remind you of anyone, eh, Baz?

Harry!

Margaret!

You're here!

In the flesh?

Well, not quite, but the night's young.

Do you know what I said, Buzz? She went, you're here. Everyone heard you.

Dan,

this is Gopher.

Gopher, this is... This is Dan.

Yes, of course.

I've heard so much about you.

Have you? Yeah.

How behind every great woman there is a quiet, humble man.

What?

Is that what she said?

But, um... We're having a little jam session later over in the teepee. Raise

spirits for the big push, so if you fancy popping across, then... Yes.

Then, um... Then you're all very welcome.

Right, well, better get these in the cooler, then.

Uh, that's yours?

Oh, aye.

We're neighbours now.

They're still talking.

Oh, Roger, you were brilliant.

Yes, well... Yes, it was quite nice to stretch the old muscles, I suppose.

So what's going to happen now?

Well, I have a guest. I think I'm going to make painfully awkward small talk

well into the evening.

Have a meal, put the kids to bed.

A large drink.

I'll probably end up... Oh,

flippin' heck, I'm late.

I'm supposed to be at that protest park, didn't I? Oh, why don't you come?

OK, you stay here and watch your neck on then.

Actually, wait.

Wait!

Have you been?

Nowhere.

Does this remind you of... Of course it does.

Everything does.

Come on.

We're having something to eat.

It'll be all right.

No, it won't.

God, will you stop saying...

It'll be all right.

It won't be all right.

What do you want me to say, Mum?

I can't keep doing this.

They don't have any cover.

After the night shifts up with this blue thing.

Say again?

I don't have a choice.

I'm sorry.

Tom, you'd better be joking.

This is my job, you know that.

You know I always have to... How

did this start?

There.

Snug as a bug on a log.

Where did you get that monstrosity from?

from me mum, actually.

All right, Denise, how's things going with that new fella of yours?

Good, yay.

It's good.

Oh, he's nice.

Hmm, nice.

What's wrong with nice?

Some people like nice.

Denise likes nice, don't you, love?

Oh. I mean, I know it's not very TTP to say it these days, but I just think a

man should be a man and...

What? Oh, oh, it's all right. Bought my spares.

Didn't you think you were here to break up the protest?

Really? What, on my own?

Quick, go and get changed.

OK. Oh, wow, is this the igloo?

Hey!

What?

There's a massive spider in there.

It's my hair click.

Oh.

Thought I saw it move.

It's very great.

Any road.

Down one side and putting up the campfire. Come on, I'll pass.

Better.

Denise,

don't drag this out.

We've both seen where that leads to.

Fine, Finn.

You don't need to check up on me. I'm nice and comfortable and warm.

Which is more than you're going to be. How's it going down there? Dad's not

coming now. I saw it later, apparently.

Mum's not back, are you? What about me? She's not cross I'm not there, is she?

She'd be cross if you were here.

So would I. You can't be tipping on the floor in your condition.

Don't call it that. You make it sound like I've got a disease.

Have you, um...

You mentioned our plan to her.

Might have to leave that for a bit.

He could have told me. No, he couldn't.

They threatened Ella.

Failed threats, obviously, but... And not just her.

What do you mean?

Talitha.

No, don't.

We've got nothing on them, nothing.

It's our word against theirs.

And they've got everything on film.

What are we going to do?

It's all friends.

I'm sorry.

No, no, it's... I'm glad we can be friends.

I should go home.

What, now?

You don't have to. I'm going over to Lisa and Dan's tent in a bit. We've got

fire going. We're having hot dogs.

No.

No, I'll be getting dark soon and my mum's doing that and... I'm gonna...

just get my stuff.

Oh!

A hair clip.

A hair clip.

We'll give you a call tomorrow and we can hang out and it'll be nice.

Friends.

Ta -da!

Where did you get all this lot from?

Ask me no questions.

They're not from the back of the zoo or something, are they?

Mummy, Daddy, Nana and Grandad are just outside.

Go on, let's get your truck to Molly Bob's.

Pauline.

How are you?

He was a good man, Pauline.

I'm very sorry.

I really shouldn't have come to see you when I first heard.

What for?

What would you have done?

Eh?

Hey.

Don't worry about it.

We've all tried.

You talked to Pauline?

You OK?

Me? Yeah.

Well, no, but it don't matter.

Lisa says she's stuck on a bicycle.

Keeps going up and down, up and down.

Nobody can get through to her.

Yes.

Can't see stretching those muscles again, Roger.

Denise, I can't work miracles.

I think you can do anything.

driving there with a car full of guns.

If they think for even one second I'm not going through with it.

If that doesn't show intent, I don't know what does.

And before they even step out of the car, you and your brothers in blue show

and... Look, it doesn't matter what they've got on Finn then, does it? It's

meaningless. And what about you?

You got yourself involved in this to save Finn.

I got myself involved in this to save the father of my grandchild.

You're not going down for this.

There had to be another way.

Well, I'm all ears.

Oh, good lad, thanks for that.

Right, then.

Who fancies forking a sausage?

Before any of us start forking anything, I just wanted to say thank you

for supporting us.

You know, when me and Jenna decided to take on the mantle... Please, please.

Not tonight, eh?

It's gone dark and we're all hungry.

Oh. All right, yeah.

No speeches.

I just wanted to... Well, to say how good it is that all our friends and

are behind us, you know?

Almost all of them, anyway.

He'd have been here if he couldn't.

Yeah, he would.

And he does support us.

I know it took him and Dan a bloody long time to get there, but they did, in the

end. So let's toast him to whatever he's up to.

Absent friends and all that. Yeah, and, er...

One more toast.

To me, Dad.

He'd have loved all this.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, he'd have loved to have been here.

Oh, I think he is here.

No, he's not.

He's not here.

I know he's not.

Because I can't feel him.

He doesn't want to be anywhere near me.

Who can blame him, eh?

No, come on, seriously.

Who can?

I mean, you're hardly a bundle of laughs, are you? Roger.

What the hell do you think you're playing at? Dad.

What is all this torturous long night of the soul?

That's not you.

No more than it was him.

You were playful, ageing ex -rockers. You never cared about anything in your

entire life. Why are you starting now?

You don't know what I've done. Yes, I do. I've heard all about it.

You thought he'd done the dirty on you, so you burnt some old photos and

ornaments. You tell me, what would Charlie have done had he really known?

It... It... No.

No. No, he wouldn't. I'll tell you exactly what he would have done. He

have laughed his head off and caught you a silly old cow and rolled you a joint.

Because that's how Charlie always dealt with everything.

Well, wasn't it?

Hmm?

Wasn't it?

And that's exactly how he'd want you to deal with this too.

And, you know, if you really can't feel him anymore, well, maybe that's why.

Maybe it's because he just can't stand the person you've become.

You're not the Pauline that he fell in love with.

You're not the Pauline that he married.

Twice.

Call me a silly old cow.

You know, he bought this Mark III Cortina soft top one.

Oh, bloody awful thing it was.

But he loved it.

I borrowed it one time.

Left the handbrake off.

Accidentally parked it at the bottom of the ship canal.

Oh, I expected a divorce at least for that. But no, no.

He just asked me whether I'd at least remembered to put the top up first.

Do you know, I could tell you a hundred stories like that one.

Why don't you, Pauline?

This is a campfire.

All right.

Go for it.

Damn. Damn.

Can I, um... Can I borrow you for a bit? You don't mind, do you?

No, no, no, bring that.

Well, they're both flat out.

Oh, good.

Let me help you. No, no, no, it's okay. No, it's all right. You watch that.

Oh, hello.

and have a fish party once we've finished our sausages.

Been hanging out with Gopher.

Oh. I know you.

You're little Gordon Fairfax, aren't you? Your mother owns that large house

Elm Park Avenue? No, no, no. Someone else.

Oh, no.

Anyway, guys, I thought I'd swing by and play you a couple of tunes.

I think you'll like this one.

It's a bit of a classic.

Don't film.

It's a little band called Mumble Hedge.

She's all a five foot four with attitude Never fails to ask for

more when she's in the mood Forget those come to bed eyes

She's just one of the guys.

And when you see her, then you'll meet her from her head to her thigh.

When you're near me, can you

feel me?

And will you ever take it easy?

Take it easy lady.

Take it easy lady.

Take it easy lady.

Take it easy lady.

Take it easy lady.

She's on a fight for power with attitude.

Never fails to ask for more when she's in the mood.

Forget those comfort eyes.

Cause she's just one of a kind.

And when you see her, then you'll need her from her head to her thighs.

When you're in need.

Stay where you are, son.

Why are you doing this?

Let me just look at this place. Look at it.

Hell no, we won't go.

Hell no, we won't go. Warrior.

You happen to be a woman of means.

No, what you happen to be is a mean woman.