Original subtitles

If you want to change the situation,

right people, right time, just the wrong location.

I've got a good idea, just you get me near, I'll be so good

for you.

I'm gonna help you, love you like you want me to.

Hey, James, do you think the world would be a better place without lawyers?

They're a bunch of champagne -coughing, pocket -picking, life -denying, fire -as

-in -wine -with -your -bite -off. How do we ever let them run the place, eh? I

bet if it wasn't for lawyers, we'd have no such thing as divorce.

You would.

How could she possibly make demands like this? Look at that, Jamie.

She's citing her unreasonable behaviour.

Yeah, but she's still going on about that weekend in Scarborough.

But, and more pertinently, she's threatening to drag your financial

through the court. Yes, but Dick, it was her that was being unfaithful.

You've been naked in front of the law.

Oh, yeah, well, that's blackmail. How are you going to get your hands on this

kind of job? Well, her parents want me to sell everything, don't they?

Put me out of business completely.

Or expose your dodgy stealing so you end up behind bars.

After everything I did for her, you know, I even built her a hot tub with me

bare hands.

Flat pack it was. I got blisters for that woman. It took me weeks.

Yeah, and it wasn't even me sharing her bubbles.

You're a friar tough, mate.

It took me for every cent I have. You know, I even tried to hide it. It was

a French pig sniffing for truffles, she was.

You think that's funny?

She won't even let me see my lovely little Dora.

Lucky you don't have kids. Oi, Jamie, dogs have feelings too, all right?

They'll be pining for me like I am for her.

Looks like I'm just going to have to pay her, doesn't it? How are you going to

ask for an M0?

I can't tell where, Ralph. It's everything you own. No.

I'm going to win it.

On a five.

You've got a very short memory, aren't you?

You and gambling are a bad combo.

But it's not about the gamble, is it? It's about the fight.

Now, this Carlo Rodgers is just back from boot camp in the States. And Spike

Silver reckons, well, you know, he's going to be the next big thing.

How many times have you heard that?

Apparently he's going to be fighting bundles of money, and, you know, his

bout. And Spike reckons he hasn't got a fight good enough to match him yet.

You'd better not be thinking what I think or think yet.

You're well past, aren't you?

Thanks. Yeah.

I think if I need a fight, it's guaranteed to give him a run for his

I've got a little hunch on that, mate.

This is clean mental.

It's the last thing anyone will expect, eh?

Carlo's first professional bout, beaten by Archie Daly.

Are you seriously going to risk all this on a dodgy mate's face -up? There's

nothing about boxing he doesn't know, Jamie.

When Spike speaks, one is well advised to play heathens. And he reckons Carlo

could be the next Lennox Lewis Hamilton.

So, I'm going to track down the next Mike Tyson.

While you, be the next Pugilist.

You don't see how good his collar really is, do you mate?

You out of breath there, big guy?

If I'm going to put another fighter in a ring, I need to know everything about

him, and I mean everything. You know, who he talks to, where he eats, and who

he's sleeping with. I need to know his strengths and his weaknesses, all right?

You get your head around that. Meanwhile, I am going to find us the new

Bruno.

Yo,

yo, yo, what's up, homies? Respect, innit?

I don't know if any of you hombres can help me, but I'm looking for a Ryan

Doyle, yeah?

Maybe this'll loosen a few tongues.

Even though I know I'm gonna be upon him. Stay in the back.

Though you are following me.

I had a stalker before.

Well, he was nowhere near as cute as you are.

Look.

I'm not spying on you, as such.

It's a mate of mine. He has a professional interest in your... In

Well, I'm his manager.

So any questions, you just need to ask.

What?

Cool.

I'll tell him.

And while you're at it, tell him he's wasting his time.

Whatever Archie's up to, I am not open to negotiation.

You know Archie?

Should do.

I've been married to him for 15 years.

Davy.

Delilah Davy.

Oi, Daly, you are one manipulating scumbag. Oi! Oi! That woman deserves

everything she gets. I'm talking about me.

Jamie, if I'd have told you, you'd have gone nowhere near her, would you? Oh,

that makes it perfectly all right.

Sarcasticism does not suit you, Jamie.

I think it's just being a peeping Tom. OK, I just wanted to know the whole

story, you know, what's going on between her and that boxer Carlo.

She's his manager.

Satisfied?

So,

um... No, she's not.

She's seen him?

Yeah.

I'm not doing any more slooping.

I wouldn't mind, but she's not even remotely like you said.

She's lovely.

Why do you want that lovely?

She can hurt a man more than anyone in Christendom. I should have realised that

when she persuaded me to pay for her first tattoo.

That's not expensive.

It is, Petra, if you get it done in Hong Kong. Look, I don't want to know any

more about her. But you are going to tell me exactly what you're playing at.

All right.

OK.

Here's the plan, boy. Now, she thinks she's bleeding me dry.

She's got another thing coming.

Revenge cloud, your judgment, Archie. It's pretty ropey to start off with. No,

I'll back down a pair of you.

Because if I can put my man in the ring, I'll get to beat my wife, give Carlo a

hide -in, make enough money on her fight to pay for the divorce. Come on.

What's it not to like about that, eh?

Hey, hey, fight!

Hey, hey, come on, Jim Daly.

Oh, you want it, you want it, you want it. Oh, nice one.

Yeah, well done.

What are you doing around here? I was just wondering about that boxer of

Connor Rocks.

Is that your Delilah?

No, my, my, my.

She has that boy well set up, son, I'm telling you. He's very highly motivated.

Have you got anybody lined up to fight him? I can't find anyone good enough.

dear, oh, dear.

Take it easy, take it easy.

You all right, love? Hey, listen up.

Maybe I could steer you to a very hot prospect.

I'm not putting a rookie in that ring to be hospitalised. No, I'm talking about

Ryan Doyle. Eh?

Ryan Doyle? Yeah.

He's been off the radar for ages, mate.

Yeah, until... Until he was rediscovered by an entrepreneur with incredible

insight, acumen and knowledge.

Well, there'd be serious interest in that kid if someone could get him back

the straight and narrow.

You're talking to his new agent.

Of course, I'm Bob and Wade.

Oh, of course, I'm a rat.

I can almost taste that filthy lucre.

There has to be something wrong with that kid, Arch. Jamie, if it wasn't for

this constitution, I could so easily get dragged down by your negativeness.

If Doyle were that good, he'd have been snapped up ages ago. Come on, he's got a

bit of a tension problem. You know, he's missing a bit of the old one -two. Good

old self -discipline.

Brilliant. The main quality of a good boxer.

Jamie, he's no different from the other kids around here. They need a role

model, someone to look up to. And that's where you come in. Me?

Yeah, you can train him to be match fit. You know, give him a bit of your sports

psychology. Hey, you can make him as good as that Joe Calzone. El Zaghi?

Yeah, him.

Jamie, come on. You can make him good again. Yeah? Let's have it. One, two,

two.

Oi, Ryan, come on!

Get your fucking pants off!

And let the jousting commence.

You got me a fact.

You're not mad at my word, am I not? And Jamie here's going to have you in tip

-top shape within a fortnight.

Is he any good?

He could paste you on that wall if you felt like it.

I've been waiting a long time for a shot like this. I ain't wasting my time

here, Archie.

Do I look like I am? You look like just another loser to me. Whoa, whoa, whoa,

girls, please. You want to save it for the ring?

This whole scheme relies on you two finding a shared vocabulary, all right?

What? Forget it. I'm out. Hold on. Jamie.

Jamie, will you just hold on a second? Listen, hold on. This is a big time for

me, okay?

My entire empire is riding on him.

On a bloody hoodie.

All right, he's just a kid. Come on, let's give him a chance, yeah?

Yeah? Ah, good boy. Now, come on. We'll leave you two at it while I go and

liquidise my assets so I can invest every penny I've got into... Hey, wait

this.

Raging Ryan Doyle.

You two behave.

Love you.

Love you. See you later.

Hello, boys. There you go. You like all these? Yeah, top of the range.

Peshawari cotton.

Yeah, only £10 each.

I got your attention.

If you don't start listening to me, you're going to make a right arse out of

yourself in that ring.

And I don't really care, to be honest.

But Archie's got a hell of a lot riding on this, and I don't want to let him

down.

Where'd you learn to do that?

Where I grew up.

Self -preservation.

Yourself? Why don't you take a wild guess?

All right, get up.

What? What happened?

You missed it out, but you can't take it, can you? I only won points this

season. Oh, please, come on.

Hey, Archie, you saw that? I whacked the floor with him, didn't I? Yeah, my

money's safe on you, Popeye. What fight were you watching?

He's still got the magic touch.

He's doing good, all right.

I was talking about you.

So, when am I going to see some reddies?

Yeah, all in good time, Ryan. Thank you. Come on, Archie, man.

I've got some debts that need sorting.

Urgent, man. Yeah, well, I've got a bit of a tough cash flow situation myself,

haven't I? Hey, hey there, man. Archie's working his guts out. Hey, who's side

are you on?

Watch the free piece.

I think I preferred it when you two were at each other's throats.

Right, reluctant as I am, I'm going to give you half of your ten grand

appearance fee.

All right, less commission, obviously, all right?

You're the man. That's right. Who's the man? You're the man. I'm the man.

We said I'm the man.

Jamie, I'm giving him a chance at a big time here, all right?

This is a probiotic relationship.

I only agreed 40%. You dirty... I'm right there. Just hold on.

I need every penny I can get to put on this, all right?

This is a wager of a lifetime, Jamie.

I still look like a loser to you.

All right, I'm sorry, mate.

I can't just be being careful.

There's a lot of vultures in this game.

But Archie, he seems all right. You think so?

Yeah. I mean, he's been good to me.

Yeah.

Me too.

Sort of.

So, if you were such a good fighter, why did you quit boxing?

Ended up doing time because of it.

Really?

Me too.

Well, this promoter tried to rip me off, so I took a sledgehammer to his BMW.

There we are.

Yeah. See, I should have got suspended sentence for it, but, well, when the

come for me, I, uh, I resisted arrest.

A lot, actually.

Anyway, what about you?

What did you do?

I came across a geezer picking on someone who couldn't defend himself.

He's lost it.

I said I'd never go in a ring again after that.

Boxing's all about control.

That's the bit I had trouble with.

See? It's all in the mind, innit?

See, I was a kid back then, you know? But now... I'm ready for it.

Again.

Guess I just needed someone to have that little bit of faith in me, you know?

Yeah, man.

Yeah, really.

That's all right.

I'll run it. I don't mind. I was supposed to be keeping an eye on you.

Come on. Do you really think I've got enough energy to do anything else?

See you later.

Keep your eye on the jab, son.

Eye on the jab.

It's the marriage to Les, isn't it?

Where's Robbie?

I'll give him the afternoon off. We'll train him later.

Jamie, you're supposed to be keeping your meters on a minute before the big

fight. Oh, we got him well -focused and motivated.

It depends how much you want it, yeah? There's only so much you can do, I

suppose.

I've got to hand it to you, Arch. It's a change there.

There you go, OK.

You got it, Jamie.

There. All we need to do is set the final cog in motion.

Good night. Thank you.

Hello again, Jamie.

Good night. Why, why, why?

Would you mind asking my ex -husband what the hell he thinks he's playing at?

Ask him yourself.

We don't speak.

And I rather fancy you as my conduit.

Well,

I'm... I'm not really... Tell him you're stooping to a new level, challenging my

Carlo. But there's still time for him to back out.

She says it. You tell her.

Archie Daly backs down for no one.

She wants to admit defeat.

That's up to her. Never.

But I just might not increase the divorce demand if he changes his mind.

It's a female prerogative to which he availed at every opportunity. You know,

her sole purpose was to make my life hell.

Leaving me to pick up the pieces after she left. Oh, yeah, there was a time she

moved her mother in, and what did she do? She cleared off on her holidays.

But it was all his own mess in that hotel room with a Scarborough swingers

Yeah, but I thought it was only going to be the two of us.

Those were the days before he started plucking his nose hairs in bed.

Yeah, but not long before she started bleaching her moustache.

Right. No, no. Just one more thing, yeah?

Tell her that I never stopped loving her.

He lied to me every day we were together.

Tell him it's too late to stop now.

That's worth a try.

Ah, proof it for her begging. That woman is beyond rationale.

Two starts for every story.

Oi, oi, oi. Not in this case. No, I'm the wrong demand.

What happened in Scarborough?

We all have our secrets.

What's up with Jamie?

What's that supposed to mean? Nothing.

Well, you've obviously got time to get off your chair.

All right.

I know you ended up in prison.

You've been checking up on me? No, I'm just... Jamie, watch this! Just say

Bates are, and I thought Bates would talk about this sort of thing.

Not me.

I thought it was a fight in a bar or something, but I can't believe it. What,

your own mum's bloke?

I saw him knocking her about, all right?

So you put an intensive care of your own bare hands?

I don't know what happened.

I saw her face and I just... Hey, listen.

It's all right, OK?

Shane spoke to me, see?

Yeah, well, we all lose our temper sometimes, eh?

Yeah, I think you should do it

Catch me first.

What do you think you're doing? What do you want to do?

Keep your eyes off her.

Let's go, babe.

I can't even get you. You're a dead man. That's enough.

Leave him alone.

Got big time, didn't I?

Oh, you did that, all right. It's just bad luck. It happened to anybody.

Yeah, let's see what the plot has to say about this show.

Archie, no.

I don't want nothing to do with the law. Right, this is a vicious criminal act.

Say no, Arch. I didn't even see him, OK?

I thought I was in there with this hot chick and then next minute he just comes

up behind me. Oi, Mr Loverman, back up a second. What do you mean by hot?

Tasty, you know.

All right, granted she was a little bit older, but you definitely would.

I didn't get her name or anything. I just remember that she had this snake

was tattooed on her shoulder.

And that's what did it for me.

also giving the young kid a break, unless of course you've forgotten what

like.

Now listen, Ryan is out of action, but he's fine, okay?

And who knows, maybe one day he'll be champ.

Just not in this fight.

What about your big gamble?

Oh, worry about that.

It's not meant to be.

I don't believe what I'm hearing.

Maybe he's finally accepting defeat.

Well, no one else can hurt, is it?

She really is the eight -foot cow you said she was. It doesn't surprise me in

the least.

I can't believe how bad it is before it's even started. And of course, Stan,

he's not going to give me my stake back without taking a substantial cut.

Unless... What?

Oh, you don't want to know.

Unless what?

Unless I find another good fighter.

I'm very, very sure about this.

Come on, it's your call, Jamie.

No pressure.

One, two.

Right arm.

Double.

Left arm.

Jack. Jack. One, two.

He's good all right.

But is he good enough?

Trust me.

Doyle's out of action.

But I'm saying the fight still stands.

Well, Archie's gone and got himself another boxer, hasn't he?

Reckons he's even better.

Oh, he does, does he?

Carlo!

Come on!

Come on!

Out of Jaffa!

Come on, faster!

Another one in there, Petra.

Mr. Cavalli, I'm in there if you like.

If this fight goes belly up, I am so dead.

Nothing's going to go wrong, Archie. You can trust Jamie with your life.

She must be paid I'm worried about.

She's evil incarnation.

I'll give you moral support if you want.

And don't forget, it's the big fight tonight.

Cartwright versus Rox.

Stephen Greenwich has emailed saying he's going and he's putting everything

got on Carlo Rox.

As might be waiting at night.

All right, ladies and gentlemen, come on, take the seats. Let's have it now

a very exciting evening for you.

Let's hear it, ladies and gentlemen, for the first battle of the evening.

Preston, you look... You're not too bad yourself.

Come on.

I'm gassing for a drink.

Don't you be doing paper runs. Look at the age of them.

You want some of what your mate got out

of the pub?

What, did you have a run out of breath, big guy?

Save your toy for a ring, son.

Slack Stan.

How are you, mate?

I'm having a ball, dearly.

I can't wait for blood on the canvas either.

It's all in the lap that God's now, though.

I told you, I don't like surprises.

Yeah, a bookie always wins, though.

Oh, yes.

You all right, champ?

Yeah. You...

It's all good.

He's better than me.

I mightn't last the pace.

I'm going to have to go for an early knockout.

Well, you could do, but you don't have to.

I'll wait to throw it.

Give me that again.

You see, I've bet everything I own on Carlo.

What is it? You don't think I'm good enough? We talk about course I do.

Of course I do, but this was always my plan from the start, Jamie. You

Hold on a second.

Once the guy found out she was up against me, there was no way that woman

going to lose, even if it meant her climbing into the ring and clawing you

bits herself.

What? After all this?

I don't know what choice did I have. There was no sure bet to be had.

You, uh, could ask Ryan too?

Yeah, of course. But, you know, I never got the chance, did I? Well, what makes

you think he'd have done it? Oh, come on.

A kid like that, money like this.

He's got better morals than you have. Now, you know that's not fair. I'm just

stooge. Again, story of my life. I'm just a small part of someone else's big

player. Jamie, this is a real tough call to make.

Now, do I let my wife's new boyfriend take a beating, or do we make a shitload

of cash out of him? Now, I'm happy you can scar him up, knock him back, give

a bloody nose even, but... Jamie, I really need you to take the fall on this

one, yeah?

No way.

It's best all around.

You can't...

Jamie, this is my neck on the line. This is D -Day.

I've never taken a fall in my life, not for anybody.

I am begging you.

I'm begging you as a friend, all right?

A real friend would know me better than that.

Shut up.

And now, to the main attraction...

That's red for danger.

I present to you, first part.

What's his picture?

feelings. I felt a lot on the last night of our honeymoon.

Do you remember? I was passed out drunk.

A Spanish barman wasn't.

Come on Tony, now's your chance.

Well, it's definitely your type of guy, Delilah.

Not much going on behind the eyes.

You don't want David Beckham for his wit and repartee.

When you get bored of him, eh? Get yourself a new one, can't you?

I won't get bored of a boy like that.

He's not like you, Archie.

He's an animal in and out of the ring.

Let me tell you something, Delilah. My boy's going to kill him.

Don't do this.

Come back to me. Come on. Wake up.

What's the matter with you? Come on, say something. Will you just open... Come

on, open your eyes, pal.

Hey, look, he's opened his eyes. There you go.

Hey!

Right, lads, get some space. Have some fresh air. Good fight, son.

Yeah. Good fight, son.

He's dead.

I don't know what to say.

Try to thank you.

What, you?

I knew it! I knew it, Jamie! I was watching, and I knew it when you did it.

Mate, I just... You're just pleased I saved your skin.

Oh, you better believe that. You did me proud. You all right?

I took the fall because I felt sorry for you.

But it's over.

What are you saying that for?

Don't be like that.

You always push it, Archie.

We went too far this time.

Oi.

You know, we got a partnership, haven't we? We're buddies, mate. You know, we're

best when we're together.

Jamie, eh?

Eh?

We're finished.

For good.

I'm sorry, mate.

I'm sorry.

This is, uh...

See you around, Jane.

Disgusting.

I'm never going to go and see another boxing match again, ever. Of course, I

enjoyed it myself either, Petra. What's your problem?

Fixing that fight when you're enough dosh to pay Delilah so you never have to

set eyes on her again.

Yeah, I've only got a good few quid made out of it, thanks to Jamie.

He was blinding tonight, wasn't he?

I've never seen a man move so fast.

Right, shite on the shiny shovel.

At least he's not too badly hurt.

I suppose no one's going to take it like that. Granted, I was pushing my luck,

but I've been good to him too, Petra. Don't worry, your conscience never lasts

too long. Right, any chance of a nightcap then?

You're an expert at using people, aren't you? Go find someone else to take

advantage of.

What? Nah.

What you do?

Be from the fight.

Nah. You win.

I don't want to. I want a fair fight.

You threw it.

I had no choice.

You see?

I knew it. I knew you could add it.

Yeah.

Say I Could do with it to be honest, I don't really know where my explaining is

coming from Medics that I might not be able to fight Archie bloody

died. Nah, that's not Archie.

I was the one that went off the rails. Yeah It was that Carlo that did this Do

you know that I was half unconscious when that blasted come at me with his

size tennis?

What do you want?

Come back for more, eh?

You owe my mate an apology.

At the very least. The loser in the shell suit.

You know what I owe him?

They said it wasn't safe for me to come in here.

But I told them I know you.

Carlo Rocks is out of hospital.

I thought you'd want to know.

Apparently he used to be good looking.

He must have done something pretty bad to deserve that.

Just don't try and tell me this has nothing to do with Daly.

Don't say you weren't warned.

He's been arrested and charged.

It's all about, you know, the exterminating circumstances.

He hasn't even tried to deny it.

I don't know what you want me to do about it.

Hey, Dickie, you're illegal. Let's do something.

Please?

Well done, mate. Worth every penny.

Well, if there's nothing else. No, but it's all my fault. The whole thing.

just got caught up in it. And none of this would have happened if it hadn't

for me.

I can vouch for that.

Come on, you've got to help the kid out, Sheila.

Detective Inspector.

Detective Inspector.

I know you better than that.

And I know behind your blue badge and your red tape, you've got a beating

I concede that under the circumstances, I might consider being

lenient.

Good on you, Gail. I'm sorry.

It was only up to me.

But this is a serious criminal prosecution.

It's entirely out of my hands.

There is, however, one way that you just might possibly get him off.

Let me get this straight.

You think, after all that's gone on between us, that you can just swan in

and ask my Carlo to drop the charges?

Delilah, please. You know, the cops didn't see anything, so it's entirely in

your hands.

All right, granted, what he did, there's no excuse for, all right?

Carlo, he was bang out of order.

Shut up and recuperate, darling.

Took a lot of guts, you coming here.

You're showing your true colours, Archie.

Yeah, well, I just thought it was time we settled our differences.

Oh, I wouldn't know where to begin.

How about the night we met?

How about all the other nights when you never made it home?

Now, Delilah, I remember that time we were walking over Putney Bridge.

The sun was just coming up. There wasn't a sinner to be seen.

And for two minutes, it was just the two of us.

It was beautiful.

You said it was like time had stopped just for us.

I don't do it very often.

But if I think really hard, I can remember just the good bits.

I bet you can too.

That's lovely, Archie.

Almost makes me feel emotional.

Yeah.

Me too.

All right.

But not quite.

But... I will agree to get Carlo to drop the charges.

I'm unconditioned. Well, you name it.

You agree to the divorce?

Delilah, come on, darling. It just wasn't all my fault. I never said it

But if there's one thing you taught me, Archie...

It's hard to take advantage of a bad situation.

So, do you agree to the divorce?

Yeah, I do.

Uh -uh -uh. I haven't finished.

Do you agree to the divorce for double the cash settlement I asked for?

Oh, this Jamie obviously means a lot to you.

I'd be a fool not to capitalise.

Okay, you're on. Oh!

Well, I ain't finished yet.

You're on.

But I get to keep Dora.

You're a cold bastard.

Yeah, but I'd be a fool not to capitalise.

Oh, yeah.

Thanks.

I really thought I still loved you.

Up to about 30 seconds ago.

Well, I can relax now.

Archie, everyone's a winner.

Whoa.

You're a good man, Archie.

Yeah, I'm powerless.

If my Uncle Arthur could see me now.

Yeah, but you did the right thing.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I did, Petra. I did the right thing.

where I started, didn't I?

But, you know, it doesn't matter because I can see the whole world in a much

brighter light.

It's fancy tonight. You know, we're going to celebrate, just me and you.

I don't think that's such a good idea, Archie.

No, no, of course not. I didn't mean, you know, we go for a drink.

But, you know, I'll get a take at you.