Original subtitles

These are merely photocopies, McCabe.

Mr. Daly's bringing the originals. He wouldn't let them out of his sight.

I suppose that's understandable.

If they prove his title... Yeah?

When are they due in?

Tomorrow morning.

I booked them in the region, like you said.

You will keep an eye on Mr. Daly until things are sorted out. I don't want to

bring him halfway around the world and then have him slip under a bus before

estate's cleared up.

You're paid.

He's legally represented here, is he? What?

Oh, sure, yeah. No worries.

One other thing.

My secretary had a call from Mr Daly regarding his wife, Cheryl.

Cheryl? Cheryl Indoors.

Odd name.

Nevertheless, apparently she can't come, so Mr Daly's bringing his young nephew.

Treat for the kid, I suppose.

Yeah.

That'll be the reason.

That's 30 pounds, old man.

There you go, my son.

20 on the spot.

You're going to bankrupt us leaving chips like that? No worries, Ray. From

on in, we're first class.

You got everything?

Of course I have. I don't want you getting overawed and forgetting

I'm not overawed.

The inexperienced traveller, it can get to you, Ray.

Tickets.

In your hand. Well, they have been since you picked them up.

How do you keep them dry in a shower?

Mock not, Ray.

The secret of long -distance travel is preparedness.

Well, I'm perfectly prepared. I mean, I love nipping off abroad.

Jack, this is more than a nip, Ray.

I had a look at that globe in the lock -up.

And just when you expect them to put the undercarriage down and get a nice whiff

of paella, they turn left and carry on. Yeah, I can't wait.

It pleases.

In their passports.

Yeah, you better have yours. You've got to sign it.

What's this? Where did you get it? You've been ripped off.

Well, it's the new one. But look at the colour of it.

It's kosher. Do you just have to sign it?

Citizen?

I knew that wall coming down would mean trouble.

Arthur, it's an EEC passport.

Well, how come you haven't got one? Because I got mine before they was

over. So did I. Yeah, but Arthur, yours ran out in 1967.

Well, it looks like a ration book.

Well, we're all going to have to use them eventually.

Well, in the meantime, I want the proper one.

Her Britannic Majesty, blue cardboard, a full Monty. Arthur.

They've stopped making them.

Mrs Silverton, please go immediately to gate 24.

She said you was an old hand.

I mean, you've done plenty of this island hopping when you was young. Yeah,

that's right.

Yeah, Isle of Wight, Isle of Man. Well, granted, a lot of this is new, but the

principle of trans -world exploration... What are you doing? All hand luggage

must pass through the machine, sir. No, no, no, I'm not parting with this. It's

full of confidential information.

It's the law, sir.

Oh, have you got a sniffer dog or something?

Arthur.

Arthur.

Stephen Berger, please contact airport information after phone inquiry.

You cannot have anything else metal on you, Arthur. You wouldn't be able to

walk. Do you mind? You've felt there once already.

Would you go through, please, again, sir?

How do you think the plane was going to take off carrying that lot?

Ask any globetrotter, Ray, he'll tell you the same.

All essential items should be kept on your person.

Chef, I've got one free with a go on a three -star, 1966.

Essential.

They all have them.

You can't get Alan Wicker out the front door unless he's got his lucky rabbit's

foot with him.

You're just right around there.

Hello, my dear. Good evening.

Nice to see you again.

Welcome aboard, sir.

Hello. Hey,

Ray.

This is a daft ticket.

Our seats are done and run. Come on, I'm for with business class.

All right.

Up there.

Upstairs.

See you soon, Rod. It's tough.

Need a lift, Rod?

Look, I need a hole in the head.

What a feeling, eh?

How'd you power down that runway?

Do it often enough, Ray, you get blase.

That's the only way to travel, Arthur.

What are you doing?

I thought I'd get a bit of shine.

My mate was telling me that the only way to avoid jet lag is catnapping.

Right.

Jet lag.

Term unknown to the battle -hardened traveller.

It's all in the mind.

Just pace yourself, there's no problem.

Here, they're bringing round a free booze. Get your hand up.

Catch the wrong bit in there, you could do some real damage, eh, Rod?

There you go, Mr. Reed. You'll get every cent.

I need time.

Rodney, Rodney, relax.

I haven't come to have a blue with you.

I've got you a nice little engagement.

Sorry, sir. No pipes or cigars on board.

I thought that was just for them downstairs.

What about it?

No, cigarettes are allowed in designated smoking areas, sir.

Don't smoke cigarettes.

Where are you going?

Well, gents, all right? No, no, no, no.

Not now.

Wait till we land.

But it's hours after. I need to go now. Hey, I may not be able to look your

mother in the eye again.

What's the problem?

You don't have to know. It happens.

The jet set.

What happens?

There's toilets.

Get a special toilet.

Turn -up club.

It's the Marley Club, Arthur. If it doesn't, there's some very supple people

about.

Job.

Engagement.

What do I have to do?

Just be yourself, Rodney. Just be yourself.

Got four, served two.

Lucky.

Maybe like the Cornelius Rod.

Not even those in the business.

There's something dishonest about it.

Crime is crime?

Maybe you're right. I wouldn't know.

Last time I saw you, you were a priest.

Time before that, a doctor.

You understand the way people are.

I bet there's no one you couldn't be, if you put your mind to it.

Do you know that feeling you get in your mouth when you get a call from the

inland revenue?

Oh, thank God.

I thought these planes were supposed to be quick.

What's in Big Dan?

How long we been going?

Uh, 13 hours.

What's the right time in Sydney?

Why? Want to put my watch right?

Yeah, but you need Singapore time.

Eh? It's where we're landing, Arthur.

You mean we're not there?

Nah. Quick refill and then maybe another seven or eight hours, isn't it, Sidney?

Oh, my God.

They should make those globes bigger.

Give you more of an idea.

And the weather.

We've got another hot one lined up today and for the rest of the week.

Temperatures expect to go even higher than at the weekend, 42 degrees.

Gee, that's warming up nicely.

So get ready for the heatwave, folks.

Wakey, wakey, Arthur.

Breakfast is ready.

Let's see what early Doris wants on her toast.

She's in England, Arthur, and you're on a plane.

Here, have a buck's fish, liven you up a bit.

G'day, Arthur.

G'day, Ray.

Welcome to Sydney.

Come on, I've got a car waiting.

You all right, Arthur?

Who turned up the heat?

It's a beauty, isn't it?

That might not be a bad idea.

You're right, especially if we get this heat wave there threatening.

Where'd you say we were, right?

Your blood's going to freshen up and I'll pick you up in a couple of hours.

Arthur!

Arthur, over here.

Uh, reservation in the name of Daly.

Arthur and Raymond, I think. Right.

Cheers.

The truss is not going to take long.

I wouldn't mind... Yeah?

What?

What wouldn't you mind?

Carry on.

I'll have your bag sent up to your room.

Oh, cheers.

We do hope you enjoy your stay.

We're looking forward to it, aren't we, Arthur?

Arthur, is that flight gain of you?

No, you must forgive his boyish enthusiasm.

He's... And what?

He's my nephew.

All these trips across the world, all a bit much for him.

Hello, mate. How are you going?

I haven't seen you for a while.

Hello, Barry.

Schooner, please.

Well, well.

If it isn't the famous private eye and full -time lowlife.

G'day, Susan.

Good morning in court.

You bastard. You really don't care, do you?

If a woman comes to me and says she thinks her husband's doing an awful lot

overtime and I check it out and I take a few pictures and she gets to know the

truth, what have I done wrong?

People mess around.

No one would have been any the wiser until you started poking your nose in.

but you don't give a damn. And now I'm defending an assault charge.

Exactly. You wouldn't have a job except for the likes of me.

Do you want a beer?

The day you give me a job worth doing, I'll buy the drinks.

Pete!

Another schooner, mate.

That'll be $2 .30.

Here, Arthur.

Do you know the water goes down the plug old clockwise in Australia?

What? How's it going, England?

90 clockwise.

Oh, Raymond.

I hope the L I've suffered in the last 24 hours is going to yield more than

one piece of information.

Come!

Ah!

Oi, hold on, hold on.

What's this?

Our finest wine, sir.

He's Australian.

That's right, sir.

Oh, I like a man who does his bit for the economy.

But when it comes to fine plonk, you must know I'm a bit of a connoisseur.

Go and get us something decent.

It's one prize, sir.

Yeah, sir, there's an orchid. But you'd stop short of putting your lips round

him. Go on, off you go.

You can't tell these colonials anything, Ray.

Arthur, I think there's something we should discuss.

Fire away.

Oh, these prawns are lovely if you have one. It's important, Arthur.

You're carrying on like the inheritance is already yours.

No, don't worry.

There is no doubt that Joshua Daly is my great -uncle.

Won't be long now.

Have a nice day, Rod.

And wipe that grin off your face.

Somebody very close to you has just died.

Beauty in you blokes again.

You'll enjoy the view better this way.

This is the business, ain't it, Arthur?

I'm going up and down, Ray.

Seems all right five minutes ago.

When do we get to Sydney Harbour?

Arthur.

Mr Evans wanted to see you ASAP.

He's a bit of an old wowser, likes everything done by the book.

What's he about?

Oh, God knows.

Your solicitor will sort that out. I've arranged to meet lunchtime.

Solicitor? I've got you the best young lawyer in Sydney.

Evans says you need one. Yeah, he would.

Mason's the world over.

Make it work for the row.

Not necessary, Bill.

It's all in here.

If you or Mr Evans can read English, we just have to show our faces and collect.

I'm going to spend the first million on holiday home in the Isle of Sheppey.

Cut out the travel.

You'll feel fine after sleep, Arthur.

I won't feel fine till I've got Tara Winchester under my feet.

Can the dailies come in now, please?

Oi! What's going on?

Please don't shout, Mr. David.

I am not shouting.

That is not the English way.

I'm merely trying to communicate my surprise.

I travelled thousands of miles, expecting to cop for my great -uncle's

only to find five other dailies expecting the same.

Obviously, I hired private detectives to search every country where there seemed

to be a connection with a deceased who wouldn't expect me to do otherwise.

You could have saved yourself the bother. You've seen my documents.

I'll need to examine those at a later date to check they're genuine.

Genuine? How dare you? Come on. But Mr Evans has got a job to do. We can talk

about it later after you've rested. Rest? I don't need rest.

I need a lawyer. Someone with an English sense of fair play.

I can recommend... I'd rather you didn't make things worse, Mr Evans. Oh, come

on.

This changes my whole attitude of body line.

I don't like it. I haven't had a chance to research, plan.

I thought I'd just turned up, sign on the dotted line. You've got it wrong.

It's too risky. I want out.

You don't get it, do you?

Do you?

You've got no option on this, Rod. I've been planning this for weeks.

And you've got too many bad debts to say no.

You're Joshua Daly's illegitimate son because I say you are.

And you're going to stay that way until I tell you you can stop.

What about the others?

Your problem? Your paper works good. Did it myself.

The problem was shouting the odds.

Yes, I hear.

He needs checking.

Sure, Arthur. You've seen the prices, innit?

Uncle Joshua will provide.

Yeah, and how much is this lawyer going to cost, eh?

I want justice, Ray.

McCabe says he knows the best.

Price doesn't come into it.

Arthur, what if it turns out to be one of the other dailies? You've seen the

documentation. I am a genuine article.

Arthur?

Ray?

This is Susan Hamilton.

She's your lawyer. Pleased to meet you.

How do you do? Pleased to meet you.

We've seen the papers. Some are set out clear as day.

Now, without wishing to cast aspersions... I'd like to look into the

working of the will.

It may be that Joshua had assets that could be split as well as Paradise

Springs. Paradise Springs?

Joshua's estate.

I gather that's what it's called.

But I imagine that'll go intact.

As I say, I won't know until I speak to Evans.

What shall we do meantime?

Well, if there's anything else that you can dredge up that links Arthur to

Joshua, let me know.

Any more wine?

Arthur.

Come on, you'll pass the show by day.

Raymond, if you're knackered, don't be afraid to say so.

Don't be embarrassed because you're not used to it. This way.

Excuse me, I'm going to get back to the hotel.

Arthur.

Who was that woman?

Well, you know what to do.

I'd love twins.

Thank you very much.

I don't know, Arthur. Are you sure you're up to it? I mean, you've only had

hour's kit.

I'll kill two birds with one stone.

See the family heirlooms and establish an irrefutable link. Yeah, but you still

want to be over the jet lag. Yeah, I never felt better in my life.

Hello. Is everything okay, sir? Oh, lovely. And the other wine, the pink

stuff. Excellent.

Where do you like? Yeah, bung a crate up in the room, will you, for when we get

back. A crate?

Well, save and send it down every five minutes.

Stick it on my account.

Whatever you'd like, sir.

Arthur, that was a 50 you gave him.

Yeah, it's only Australian money, though, isn't it?

G'day, Mr Daly.

Your car's waiting for you outside, sir.

Oh, sir.

Stick it on my slate, will you? No, my bill.

Of course.

May I ask where you're going, sir?

I beg your pardon?

Well, I was wondering where you're going.

There's no such thing as privacy on this island. Nothing personal, sir. It's

just that once outside the city, people have been known to get lost.

Oh, no, no, no. Be prepared.

Tradition drummed into every Englishman from the age when he's first able to fix

his own wobble.

Yes, sir. I was going to see the family mansion. Oh.

Just nipping up the road.

Probably be back in about an hour or so.

Well, enjoy yourself.

Good day.

I'm going to leave my coat with reception.

Hey.

Yeah.

Oi,

Ray. Stop mucking about.

If I wanted a tongue to toy, I'd have asked for one.

But they'll use them over here. Ideal for when you get off the main roads.

Ray, I am navigating.

We will not be going off the main roads.

Well, any ideas?

Ray, do you think Columbus had his second lieutenant breathing over his

while he was trying to negotiate the great unknown?

Columbus went 7 ,000 miles out of his way, Arthur.

My point, exactly.

Turn left.

Turn left? Yeah.

Where? Where do I turn left? Up, up ahead.

Up ahead is all there is, Arthur. It never ends.

It's forward or backwards. There's nowhere to turn to. Keep calm, Ray. Keep

calm. I know exactly where we are.

It's just a question of finding it on the map.

We are lost Arthur.

No we aren't.

It's not my fault. It's a map.

If I can find Bork, Paradise Springs is behind it.

Let's have a look.

What's that?

It's a lorry.

I'll flag him down.

He'll put us straight.

I think he's stopped to have a brew up.

Arthur, he's seen things.

Look, it's a Mirage. I am not. I know lorry drivers.

All the same, the world over.

Two tea bags every ten miles.

I'm telling you, there's nothing out there.

We're on our own.

Spirit of El Alamein.

Remember Monty, way?

If there's nothing in her office, then the documents are with Daly.

If they're so valuable he won't let them out of his sight, then I really think

we need to have a look at them, don't you?

Find out what we're up against.

Get after him. Get the documents.

I don't care what you do, just get them.

I knew this was a mistake.

It'll be getting dark soon.

Arthur, let me concentrate.

That's when they come out.

What do?

Spiders. What you going on about?

I read about them in a book.

Killer spiders.

Like toupees on legs.

That's why there's so much open space.

They've eaten everything.

Give over.

Yeah. Ah!

Leg it, Ray!

Ray?

G'day. Could you call Mr. Daly's suite, please? Tell him it's Bill McKay.

I'm afraid Mr. Daly and his nephew are out. Can I take a message?

Where'd they go?

I'm looking after them while they're in town.

They went for a drive.

A drive?

Well, it shouldn't be too long. If it cares a weight, they're just nipping up

the road.

Did they say where exactly?

Family mansion or something.

Oh, sh...

Still want to wire it, Arthur.

Why can't we stay inside?

The wind's as hot as the sun.

Greenhouse effect.

Oh, I thought that was when you used the wrong deodorant or something.

Yeah, that as well.

We'd be safe in there.

We'd fry, Arthur. Off the ground.

This is tarantula country, Ray.

There are no tarantulas here.

It's said in the book. Look, I'm sure there are tarantulas in Australia, but

they're only dangerous when you corner them.

Given the fact there are no corners here as far as the eye can see, I think we

can assume that we're going to be pretty safe.

All right, Raymond, all right. There's no need for sudden outbreaks.

We need to stay cool, especially if there are snakes around.

No good, Arthur. This car's had it.

Watch out.

Ruffer.

You all right?

I'm dying, Ray.

And I'll never see my inheritance.

Paradise Springs.

Land of milk and honey, Ray.

I have plans.

Six months.

Sunshine. Creature comforts.

I'm fading fast, Ray.

You've just had a bit too much sun, that's all.

I mean, you're still holding on from the flight. That's it, isn't it?

If I go first, Ray, help yourself.

You what?

There's not much on me, but I'd rather you had it than the vultures.

Vultures? Chapter 11.

Arthur, you're going to be fine, trust me.

Oh. And that's the fried daily. You forget it. You're a good boy, Ray.

Best thing I ever did, taking you off, off, off, off. What's up?

What?

Smile? Yeah, like you said earlier.

It needs to know we're friendly.

I moved!

No, it didn't.

Did it ever go to sleep?

I don't know. You're the Australian wildlife expert. What did it say in the

book? I don't know.

It didn't get that far. I was too upset.

See if its eyelids are getting at me.

Arthur, I'm not about to start eyeballing a dangerous animal.

We could sink to it.

Oh, save me!

You've like scared me to death.

If you don't know these roads, you can soon... Is everything all right?

You've got a smack in the mouth, Arthur.

Spider.

Oh, yeah.

So what's the problem with the car?

We were doing fine, and then Ray seemed to drift off the main road.

This is the main road.

What? It's a desert.

We'll send boat jest across here.

I will never complain about the state of the North Circular again.

Joshua lived here all his life, then?

Well, Paradise Springs?

Yeah, never cared much for the city.

He had all he needed up at the house.

Just got on with his work, let the world turn without him.

The mark of a daily, Mr. McCabe.

Self -sufficiency.

Is that what you call it?

Too much further.

Another couple of k's.

I hope nothing's been touched.

You worried about these, Arthur?

Ray, Ray, no. Nothing so callous.

Now, I just want to feel sure that everything is the way great -uncle

left it.

I need to feel the man's spirit, Ray.

I want to hear his voice.

In fact, I'd appreciate a couple of minutes alone in the house when we get

there.

All right, Arthur, can we go in?

Did he speak to you, Arthur?

Did he ever have anyone from the Ministry of Health round to look at this

He wouldn't have anyone around, apparently.

Like I said, he had everything he wanted here, kept himself to himself.

It's very... Cozy?

Primitive.

I must say, I wouldn't expect the owning quite so prehistoric.

Didn't believe in mod cons, old Josh.

I'd have walked through a roof.

Oh, when he first got out here, he slept under canvas. Couldn't get used to

anything solid around him.

Hardly ever rains here.

When it did, he probably slept in the kitchen.

What about the springs?

Oh, there were some, wasn't there?

There aren't any more.

Well, let's have a look, then.

Raymond, you remember those trips down Brick Lane when you were little?

Oh, I could never quite describe what it was like living in the East End in the

40s. Yeah.

Cheer up, Arthur.

The land must be worth a fortune.

Too right.

Farming rights, mining, he owned thousands of acres.

Imagine what kind of a miser would sit on a fortune like that rather than spend

it. Yeah, imagine.

I will not take responsibility for an accident which can be laid squarely at

feet of the Ministry of Highways.

Had there been any indication that we wasn't off the road, we'd never have

stopped to check the map to see how we'd get back onto it.

On top of which, the key was faulty.

The nation of berserkers, Ray.

Susan. My office has been ransacked.

There's nothing there that I can think anyone would want that badly.

This must have something to do with you.

It's the file they must be after.

You really should get rid of it. Put it in the hotel safe.

I've travelled halfway across the world, my dear, with Charles and Di by my

side. I'm not going to desert them now.

Look, the kind of bloke who tears up officers isn't going to think twice

coming on heavy with you.

The Australian male holds no fears for me.

One harsh word and the tears are never far behind.

I mean, look at that prime minister you used to have.

Never on the box without resorting to the Kleenex.

Susan's right, Arthur.

You'd be best to come to my place.

I do not run scared, Bill.

My room and a soupsall or something English from the kitchen will be rod and

staff enough.

So long as you're sure. The dailies do not scare easily.

So you won't mind being on your own tonight then, Arthur?

Why? Where are you going?

He needs a break. So do I.

I won't keep him out too late.

Get a good night's sleep, Arthur. Big day tomorrow.

Come on, Ray.

I do not believe the woman.

No wonder Ned Kelly wore armour.

Listen. Susan Hamilton is not my favourite person in the world. She's put

contempt of court more times than I care to remember.

Plus, he seems to think she's the only principal person in the whole bloody

country. But he's hardly guilty of dragging Ray off against his will.

I've got his morals to think of.

You seem fairly happy to me.

No, that is the English way. Put a brave face on things.

That boy has led a sheltered life, and he's shy.

A dangerous combination.

Well, if he gets really worried, he can always shout for help.

No, no, no. My Ray's not a squealer. He'll bear it with fortitude. He's

All right, I'd better be going.

I've got a few things to do.

What, now?

Don't forget to bolt your door when you get back.

If anyone knocks, get them to speak, and only open up to a voice you recognise.

That British thing, having a go, forget it. Oh, I will, I will. OK.

See you at my place, 12 o 'clock tomorrow.

Have a good night.

Bill? Bill?

Have you seen a view from my room, Bill?

So, where are we going then?

Get something to eat, a couple of beans.

But what about a sign?

Well, the Opera House is over there.

Blue's down there.

Botany Bay's up there.

You want more?

Come on, get in the car.

Now we can get on with having a nice, quiet evening.

That's all of them?

All six.

G'day, you old bugger. How's life on the force?

Hey,

listen, mate, I need a favour.

Rodney Thompson, I thought he was still in jail.

Oh, really?

Well, could you get his address for me and run a rego check?

New South Wales plate, R10.

Yes, they might be connected.

Oh, that's cute, mate. Where can you let me know by?

OK, give us a ring in the office first thing.

See ya.

What time do you call this?

Well, I went out clubbing, didn't I?

Yeah, anyway, what time do you call it, then?

Well, I thought I might have to come and rescue you.

I might be being brutalised or something.

You've got some real funny ideas about Australia, don't you, Arthur?

Yeah, I suppose I have been a bit unfair on our cousins down under.

I mean, when all's said and done, when the surf's settled, basically, they're

English, aren't they?

I mean, from years ago.

Yeah, right, hang on.

Yeah, go on.

Yeah.

Right.

Oh, bloody beauty, mate. I owe you one.

G'day, Mr. Daly.

Ray, I can't stand this heat. We should get some different clothes, Raymond.

We are sartorial ambassadors.

At what time are we moving Susan and McCabe?

At twelve. What's up? I think we've got company.

Don't stop.

We just have to keep nice and public.

Mr. Dave.

Come on.

Come on.

It's catching us up. Do something.

Look, meet me at the pier and try and blend in with the locals.

His name's Rodney Thompson, just out of jail.

He's the stooge. Read you, man.

Take your pick. Fraud, forgery, criminal deception.

Not that you'll get anything on him. I just thought you'd be interested.

Where have you guys been?

I suddenly felt like going for a run. You all right?

Yeah, I think so.

Aren't you a little old for that? I'm blending in. Did you lose him, Ray?

Lose who?

Him.

Oh, my God, he brought his brother with him. Come on, Arthur.

Good luck, Ray.

Arthur!

Roll fairy.

Go on.

Bad move.

I won't go, you mutt!

Good on you, Ray. Where's the others?

No,

I've had it. I need a big collada and an oxygen tent.

Look, I've found it!

You carry on, I can't find her. Absolutely not. Hey, you sure she's not

yet?

All our medical insurance is back at the hotel.

One more step and I may be forced to let the royals have a swim.

Arthur! They want to destroy what's in there. Oh.

Arthur! Thank God.

As you know, I have undertaken considerable research in order to

Daly's descendants and, consequently, to apportion his estate.

Apportion?

However, it is now clear that the inheritance will pass undivided. to the

extant claimant with prior title.

What's he on about?

That he's of closest family.

Family, Ray?

I felt that in the desert with Josh, the Bond.

Joshua was a man who liked to keep himself to himself, but during his time

out in the never -never, he became versed in one or two rural practices.

The daily way, merge with the environment.

It appears that in this period he took a partner, but not legally.

Not the first four, in fact.

He undertook a series of vows not recognised by the courts.

The offspring were therefore disregarded in relation to his will.

Every man is entitled to one aberration.

Of the three marriages he undertook on his walkabout in the 1930s, one

was joined under civil law.

I'd rather use the phrase walkabout.

This marriage, solemnised in the Central Registry Office, Melbourne, Produced

itself. No, no, stop the proceedings.

It's a ringer. I demand a recount.

Joshua Daly's sole heir is Dimitri Vasilis Aristotle

Daly. Yes!

How could you do that?

He's family, Arthur.

Who isn't?

He's definitely the one.

No doubt about it.

I'm sorry.

I can't believe Uncle Joshua was such a gad about family everywhere.

You came real close, Arthur.

I still think there was something iffy about the handshake Evans gave

Oh, come on, Arthur. It's not all bad. We've had some good times.

I've enjoyed myself.

Might give Susan another job sometime.

I might even take it.

Goodbye, Arthur. Goodbye.

Thanks for the tour of the site.

Well, I'm glad you're all happy.

All I've had is a few plates of overdeveloped shrimps and a day trip to

Cagliari. Hardly compensation for losing the family fortunes and being

introduced to Stavros Daliopoulos.

With all due respect, I cannot wait to get home.

How soon are you going?

I was going to ask you that. Do we have to go back on any special day?

No, any time.

Buy a standard single, go back when you like.

Bye.

Why didn't you read it? I did.

You didn't read it properly. If you'd let me near the tickets, I'd have sussed

it. I didn't want you losing them and getting us into trouble.

Trouble? What do you call this?

We will provide two single tickets to Sydney and bed and breakfast

accommodation. I must have been over -emotional when I got the invite. Yeah,

over -extravagant since you moved into this hotel.

I mean, how are we going to pay for all this?

Champagne, room service, minibar, cigars, laundry?

I mean, even Mel Gibson couldn't afford what you've been ordering. Is there any

left in there? Oh, fuck!

No, temper, temper, Ray.

Very ugly. Remember Khrushchev?

We're stuffed.

We haven't got enough cash left for a bus to Bondi, never mind the air

We cannot afford to pay this hotel bill.

We're going to have to do a runner.

Ray, if you think a man in my position is going to abscond from one of the

world's top hotels without paying, you're very much mistaken.

Okay.

Any other suggestions?

I think the fire exit's favourite.

Go on.