Original subtitles

It'd be so good for you.

Love you like you want it to.

It'd be so good for you.

Love you like you want it to.

Oh, then what's the damage?

Uh, 320.

320?

Oh, Lord.

You lot must be falling off your wallets.

We'll keep all that.

Contribution towards the upkeep on the Bentley.

Oh, my

God.

I've seen healthier face on a pirate flag.

Do you know what time I got into my feather this morning?

Earl Grey?

5 .28, precisely.

It is an acquired taste.

That little eastern gentleman that you stuck me into was a bleeding lunatic.

Five foot two, he had to pull his socks down to have a jimmy.

And there he was, giving an unbeatable to everything that moved.

There you are, my son. Nectar.

Seven clubs in nine hours, were you?

He was so pissed we had to stop at a pillar box because he thought it was a

mosque. I thought they didn't go in for fermented beverages.

It was against their calling.

Don't indulge.

Do you know what a zombie is?

No army. He's been dead from the neck up for years.

Brandy, dark rum and papaya juice.

Oh, my God.

Sixteen he put away.

I poured him into his hotel at half four.

Sounds an eventful evening.

Eventful, yeah.

You said all he wanted was a quiet meal.

As I understood it, that was the case.

You knew it was a crank.

No, Terry, no. Yes, Arthur, yes.

You implying I mislead you?

Well, no, you don't actually tell lies, no. I should think not.

Just don't let the truth get the better of you.

Hmm.

What is it? Tea or talcum powder?

You know your trouble, Terence. You've got tainted taste buds.

It's all that teabag tanning. Plays havoc with your kidneys.

Hey, listen to this. This is Wally West.

Mr. Walter West, a London car dealer...

who turned back the mileage recorders on five cars was fined £1 ,100 by

Marylebone magistrates. Mr Arnold Selwyn, for the prosecution, said Mr

tampered with the recorders, putting back the mileage by between 15 ,000 and

,000 miles.

The profit from the sale of the cars was in excess of £2 ,000 and the

discrepancy on the recorders, 129 ,832 miles.

Mr West...

8 .52?

Yeah, it's turned that back on all, hasn't it? Yeah.

Admitted to charges under the Trades Description Act and was fined £200 on

count and £100 costs.

Ah, poor old Wally.

So he got a smack for clocking motors. Happens to the best, doesn't it?

Do you remember that 3 .8 Jag?

That was a bona fide repair.

It was about as bona fide as a two quid note.

Why in a wound he moved a small intense?

You got any coffee?

I mean, 1100 quid.

That is draconian.

That is what?

Magistrates. We haven't seen the likes of that since they gave up house

painting.

Got a customer. What?

No, no.

He looks like I feel like I'm like, oh, what has he done?

Good morning, Mr, um... Rushmer.

Rushmer, Rushmer, Rushmer, of course. What a day, eh?

Ah, what a pity we can't bottle it.

Still providing you with sterling service, I deduce?

I've only had it two months.

Nearly three, sir.

I am cursed with total recall.

Three months is Friday.

So it's still under guarantee?

The Arthur Daly golden handshake guarantee is as sound as our city

Three months. Three clear calendar months it is.

Do I detect a hint of inquiry appertaining to such?

Mr Daly, would you come with me, please?

You know, selling you that vehicle caused me considerable domestic

Yes, her indoors, my good wife. She had her eye on it. She wanted it something

terrible. I said, well, no, no, my dear. Mr Rushmore is a gentleman, and he

deserves a gentleman's conveyance.

I must say, you have amazed me, Mr Rushmore.

I would not have believed this could be presented in better nick than when it

left here. The gleam, sir, the gleam. That puts a roll at the shame.

I am impressed.

Mr Daly, would you mind looking here, please?

Where? Here.

Closely.

Well?

Extraordinary.

Looks like some sort of flora.

Grass, Mr Daly.

Grass.

Growing grass.

I trust this isn't some sort of hoax or gee -up or leg -pull, is it, Mr

Rushmore? I mean, I am noted for my sense of humour.

Where is he?

Who?

Very good. Very good. Very convincing.

What are you on about?

Well, it's game for a laugh, isn't it?

I don't know what... You know, when he...

Geezer with insurance salesman smile.

Leaks out, stuffs a microphone up your bugle and informs five million people

what a lemon you are.

There's grass growing out of my car, Mr. Daly.

Well, a leaking sump.

Dodgy clutch, even a rumble in the transmission.

They are certainly encompassed by our agreement, but, uh,

horticultural phenomenon.

I don't know what I can do.

Have you tried trimming it with nail scissors?

I want this seen to.

Look, I don't want to appear obstructive, Mr. Rushmore, but in a

sense. This would appear to be of a very complex nature.

Are you going to do something about this?

No. Or am I going to report it to the Fair Trading Authority? No, no, no, no,

no. Do not let us be hasty. I'm sure we can come to some mutually compliant

arrangement. Mr. Daly, my brother -in -law's a local magistrate.

Oh, that is interesting.

Only yesterday he fined a motor trade dealer over a thousand pounds for sharp

practices. At Marylebone?

You read about it? I did indeed.

I was saying to my colleague, Mr. McCann, just a moment before you

imperative it is to maintain standards.

Weed out the riffraff, the cowboys.

And the grass.

And the grass.

Shall I leave the keys?

Leave it? Oh, yes, yes, yes, indeed. I'll have it dealt with by my specialist

body shop.

Post haste. When can I collect it?

Shall we say a week? Tomorrow.

Afternoon? Before lunch.

Another satisfied customer.

You look like a rat's just crawled up your trouser leg. I'd kill that bloody

army.

That was that bus job after you, remember?

You said give it a quick blow over. I'm sure I said no such thing. This was my

car of the week. Tell.

I wasn't around, mate.

Well, I've worked late.

I've run out of filler and I gave you a belt and you said use a couple of

handfuls of mud.

Mud? So I did.

Must have been some grass seeding.

I was speaking metaphorically.

What's that mean, Arthur? It's a figure of speech.

What's that?

When he said mud, he didn't mean mud.

Oh.

I meant to use something equally efficient as a filler.

But I didn't have nothing, Arthur. That's why I billed you.

Look, just give it a spray, Arnie, and try and use a modicum of craftsmanship,

will you? This gentleman is trouble.

Hello, Arthur. Long time, no? Wally, making a living?

Scratching about a bit. I was reading about you this morning.

Dave, Dave, show a bit of tact, please.

Them slag reporters.

Today's news, tomorrow's chip -rabbers.

Usual? Please, Arthur. Yeah, port and brandy, Dave.

1 ,100 salts, Wally. Oh, that was a bit gruesome. That magistrate took a bang

-needle to me from the off. He was a right cannibal.

I know, his brother -in -law. I put my hand up on all five.

No point in giving them aggravation and wasting their time, like.

I thought, top whack a monkey.

Yeah. Maybe less if me brief gives him the old toffee. You know how sorry I

No previous extenuating circumstances.

Sat there like Stoney did, cocking a deafen. I tell you, if he was an

undertaker, people would stop dying.

I'm feeling beat.

Slated, Dave. The only time I saw him smile was when I asked for time to pay.

Seven days, one poxy wink.

Well, have you got it?

Not exactly as it happens.

Well, what can a friend say? I mean, if I had it... Yeah, it'd be yours,

wouldn't it? I ain't come here to put the hand on you.

No, no, my sympathies are with you 100%, Wally. But I was going to ask a favour.

Oh? In fact, a double favour.

Oh, well?

I'm into a good little earner. Oh, now, that's what I like, don't you? It could

give us both a nice little drink.

Say no more, Wally.

It's amazing the way the mention of money transforms him, isn't it?

I don't think I've ever seen anyone look more furtive. You can't be too careful.

Who got that committee report?

Not here.

Talking of undertakers, I know one in the sticks that's got a 79 Daimler Urse

and two Princess Limos in perfect nick, and he's given me fuss refusal.

With respect, Wally.

I mean, funeral vehicles are not exactly your car of the week on a forecourt,

are they? Hold up, Arthur. I know what you're thinking, but I've also got a

customer with her tongue hanging out. Her?

A funeral director in Fulham. Her vehicles were on there last night.

I know. That is what I call creative coincidence.

You put up the asking price, have them over at Mrs Murdoch, and we're in a four

grand clear profit.

Down the middle, you get your investment back, plus two car on top, I pay me

fine with some wedge left over. It's like lifting pennies off a dead man's

Pardon my reticence, Wally, but this is a certainty, yeah? I mean, I could get

stuffed. I mean, what's the use of a nurse and two widow's wagons to me if

turns funny?

Well, start your own business.

You'll look lovely in black.

It's as certain as February fluke. Would I steer you wrong, Arthur? All right,

Wally, why don't you borrow the necessary and bag the foreground

It'd all take too long. It had to be done right off before she finds out

available at his price.

Anyway, I need you, Arthur, to do the business.

And that's part of the other favour.

I don't understand.

Well, I've been having a bit of bother at the lock. Last week someone broke in,

stole all the log books and the keys. What a bleeding to do. I couldn't move a

car in or out. And last night it happened again.

They aerosoled a load of cars.

That's a bit evil, isn't it? Do you know who?

No idea.

Or why.

You haven't upset any of the chaps, have you?

Nothing like that.

Yeah, but where do I come in?

Part of the deal would be you lend me Terry, free and for granted for a few

days, to mind the place for me, sort of be around, keep his eyes open, maybe

stay over a couple of nights.

Hold on, hold on, we'll have to talk about this.

Never mind, let's talk about this.

Get some drinks in.

Go on, go on.

What's he like?

Fifty -plus.

Wife dead, one son.

He's not an educated man, but he's no fool.

You met him?

No, that's from asking around.

Discreetly.

Naturally.

Naturally.

You may mock me, Mr. Absimer, but let me tell you one thing.

If I had your sort of money, I wouldn't need you.

Hold up, here comes Tubal Charlie.

What's this then?

Awake?

Mr Chisholm, what a pleasant surprise.

Quite a write -up, Walter.

Bastard reporters.

Only doing their job.

Informing the public of the left salubrious sides of society.

Be fair, Mr Chisholm, it was a bit strong.

1100 sovs.

It's amazing how certain figures stick in your mind, isn't it?

The total discrepancy on the recorders was 129 ,832 miles.

I could see your lips move.

That works out. About a penny a clock mile.

Inner scales of justice, Walter.

I reckon that's about right.

That is a callous calculation, if I may say so, Mr Chisholm.

Callous, Arthur?

First offence.

No, previous.

Doesn't mean he hasn't been in it for, what, 30 years, Walter.

I resent that.

No doubt you do, but deny it.

Look, is there anything you wanted specifically, Mr Chisholm?

Specifically? Now, there's a word.

Yeah, well, I mean largely my vocabulary.

One a week.

Very commendable.

Got a good one for you.

Specifically? No.

It was pure coincidence that brought me in here.

When I saw you three gentlemen together, my highly developed sense of curiosity

and suspicion got the better of me.

We were consoling an old and valued friend.

Doesn't look very consoled.

He's had a traumatic experience. Yeah.

Well, I'll leave you three gentlemen to your commiserations.

I'll write it down for you.

We'll make you an offer on it, Gough.

That's the price. You want it. That's what you pay for it.

It ain't worth that.

You're just punting me about.

What about the van? Part exchange.

That pile of rust, I couldn't give that away.

You thieving old... Oi, oi, oi. You got a problem or what?

Out. Off my throat.

You know the man on your toes. Don't be such a stupid sonny.

On your bike.

A gypsy?

Yeah.

Where'd they come from?

Down the road.

Didn't know there was a site round here.

There isn't.

At least not official.

They're on private land.

Bit much trouble up them?

Not me, personally.

It's the first time they've been over here, but the local people have been

trying to get them shifted for months.

Petitions, that sort of stuff.

I wouldn't sign.

Well, live and let live, that's my motto.

Well, it could have been them that did the old wasteland, couldn't it?

Nah. Well, it's a thought.

Why? They'd have to have a reason.

Yeah, funeral directors.

Bad as a fishmonger being called addict.

Can't you read?

Closed. C -L -O -S -E -D.

Closed. Plain as the nose on your face.

I beg your pardon?

Hello?

Osborne. In the high street.

They'll see to you. Mr. Diaz.

Diaz.

Mr. Diaz.

Hello.

These premises are permanently closed.

My name is Arthur Daly. I'm a friend, or more a business acquaintance of Mr.

West.

Who? Mr. Walter West.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. What can I do for you?

Um, could I come in?

Identification.

Pardon? Have you got any identification?

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, right, here you go.

Can't be too careful these days.

Mr. West has gout.

Gout? Very painful.

An intemperate man, is he?

He's asked me to represent him.

I suppose you'd better come in then.

Wipe your feet.

Cleanliness is next to godliness.

Are you a Christian, Mr. Daly?

Christian? Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely.

Baptised? Scream the church down.

Then your soul will know salvation.

Soon, Mr. Daly. It will be soon.

Yeah.

The second coming.

All the signs say.

That's very comforting to know.

You've come about the vehicles.

That is correct.

Fine vehicles.

So I understand.

There they are, my beauty.

Black as the Bible, silent as an angel's heart.

That's what Mr.

Diaz Sr. would say.

Jew, you was an intemperate man.

I'm retiring.

49 years in the business.

49 years?

That is half a century in the service of the community, Mr. Diaz.

I'd like to think so. That is a vocation, a calling.

I mean, bereavement, very dodgy thing to handle.

New tyres?

I haven't any family to leave the business to, so I thought I'd sell up

home to the valleys.

Oh, I envy you that. All that fresh air, green hills and all that singing.

Well, I'm quite satisfied, Mr Diaz. I have a check made out here for the right

amount. Oh, no.

No? No, no, no, no, no, no. But you did agree, I figure, with my colleague, Mr

West. You have to test drive the principal vehicle, at least.

Oh. Oh, no, no, no, no. That won't be necessary.

I absolutely insist.

Oh.

All right.

I think it's time you met Mr. West.

I think you're right.

After all, you have the perfect credentials to gain his confidence.

Well, so sincere. But, sir, his predicament... Quite

so. Quite so.

He's a big 'un. He does look a bit of a handful, doesn't he?

Easy, Terry.

Yeah?

You the bloke that hit Nelson, are you?

No, no one hit anybody.

He threw a punch and missed.

Fighting, man?

I'm better than Nelson, yeah.

You start anything and I'll have the police over here right away.

Oh, yeah, the musket. That's always the way, isn't it?

No, it's not the way with me.

What, you want to fight me?

I don't want to fight anyone.

But if that's what you're here for...

Son, I'd fight tenure, I says.

Then one shouldn't give you any bother, should it?

Well, they come here causing trouble, now you.

And I got enough trouble as it is.

Maybe I should ring the police.

Maybe this is down to your little lot.

None of my family done that.

I suppose none of your family broke in last week, nicked all the logbooks and

keys either?

No. Ever since you lot arrived, there's been nothing but trouble.

Trouble for us? You can't leave us be, can you?

What have you come here for, eh? I come for the van.

Well, it's not for sale.

It's there, isn't it?

The money here?

Where do you get money like that from?

Working hard, you know, laying tarmac.

Well, it's still not for sale.

It isn't.

I don't have to sell it to you?

What's the matter? Is my money different from everybody else's or something?

Come on, what happened to all this live and let live stuff, eh? Yeah, well, that

was before this little lot.

Listen, I've told you. I know what you've told me.

You've got to admit, it is a bit iffy, you being so close and all. Too bloody

right. Listen, if he'd have thought it was us, he would have had the police

around. Anything happens around here and they're at our door straight away.

He's got a point, Mo.

It's just, I don't want nothing to do with them. I'm not a vindictive man.

It's just, well, local feeling.

Sorry, pal.

Listen, you seem like a fair bloke.

Well, I'm not local, am I?

Well, come with me then.

Eh?

I'll show you it wasn't down to us.

You stay here, Terry.

Samara, are you frightened?

No, no, I'm not frightened. Well, come on.

The last place we were, I bought a car, you know, just to break open and use for

spares. Drove it back to the site and there they were.

Thirteen offences.

Tax, insurance, brakes, lights, steering, tires.

Threw the lot at me, you know.

So I had to move on.

Never followed up the charges, never meant to.

Just wanted us gone.

Yeah, but they've got legal sides now, haven't they?

I mean, don't the local authorities have to provide them?

Stupid site wardens and regular rent collections and nosy welfare people. I

mean, they're no good to real travellers, you know. It pins you down.

I mean, what are wheels for if not to keep on turning?

They've closed down all our old stopping places.

Come here.

Let's follow some of that car players down the road.

Yeah, last night, it was broken into and a load of cars were vandalised with

paint.

And last week, all the logbooks and car keys were nipped.

He says it was us.

Well, was it?

No. Harry, we ain't been out of place before today.

Simboy, you know anything about this?

No, nothing about this.

None of you?

And if you're lying to me, I'll find out and you know what'll happen.

All we wanted was the van.

For calling.

Yeah, all right. Fair enough.

I can tell when they're lying.

Yeah, I believe you.

Here, come here. I want to show you something.

That's all right, Alan.

Yeah, people say that we're dirty.

Oh,

well, it's lovely, isn't it? Sit down, why don't you?

Yes. Hello.

Well, we're not dirty.

They are.

I mean, them houses look all right from the outside, but inside, well, you've

only got a smell.

And the matchcas.

Matchcas? Cats.

Oh, cats.

Well, jump out on furniture, shelves, go near food and crockery.

Lick their pores after burying their dirt.

Unclean. Worse than rat.

Would you like a cup of tea?

Yeah, that'd be lovely, yeah. Please.

Where's Wally?

I was taking one of the motors down for a re -spray. Oh, vandals.

Disgraceful. I know who done it.

What? Yeah, I passed them on away.

Bunch of diddycoys parked up the road.

They're travellers.

What?

They're not diddycoys, they're travellers.

Pikeys, diddies, travellers, jippers, call them what you like.

Infestation, that's what they are. Criminal race. If it's not nailed down,

theirs. You do talk a load of old cobbler sometimes, you know that.

I happened to be there this morning. This isn't down to them.

You believe that?

Yeah. If they'd told you the truth, their teeth would fall out.

How many do you know? That is not the point. That's exactly the point. Lord,

don't have to have measles to know you can get spots.

Do what?

That's an allergy.

Well, figure a speech of me. Yeah.

Uh, is Mr. West over here?

No, no, he'll be back in about an hour. Ah.

Oh, uh, Fribbins, local council.

I, um, I heard he's been having some trouble.

Yeah, yeah, we're just discussing it. A little contretemps over the gypsies.

Yes, that's why I'm here.

Mr. West hasn't reported this unfortunate incident to the police.

I was wondering, are they harassing him, the gypsies?

No. No. I thought he might want to make an official complaint.

How would he do that? I haven't done anything.

You're quite obviously not from this area, Mr... McCann.

I have a file on the gypsies that makes very interesting reading.

Yeah, I'll bet you do.

I intend to have them evicted and I have overwhelming local support.

Now, you can't argue with that, Terry. Oh, yes, I can.

You haven't got them living on your doorstep?

Quite so, quite so.

Bennett, they've got to live somewhere.

Yes, on proper sites, properly maintained, properly supervised.

By people like you?

We do have an official gypsy site. They refuse to go there.

And do you know why?

Discipline.

Discipline.

God, all you need is a pair of boots and a whip. Terry!

We all have to live within the law.

Yeah, but your sort can make the law mean anything you want it to.

Will you inform Mr. West that I call?

No.

Oh.

I... No, you don't see.

You don't see because you don't listen. And you don't listen in case you hear

something that just might be the truth.

Hide in this little prat tree.

Can't talk like that to a governmental official.

They're giving a tomtits, those sort of people. Terry, this is not our business.

Do not get mixed up in it. That is bloody typical of you, isn't it?

The old man is Arthur Daly, a car dealer, a bit of a spizz.

The younger one, Terence McCann, is hired out by Daly as a minder.

Used to be a boxer, has a record.

Sir.

Mr. West has got himself some assistance.

I'm afraid this calls for something a little bit special.

What do you mean, special?

I'm sure we can think of something.

Look, I don't want any part... You want out?

No, I didn't mean... You're out!

Just shut your mouth and do as you're told.

I'll go, Charlie. I'm keeping a score.

Good evening, Arthur.

You looked as though you had eight score draws up and forgot to post Cooper.

Terry.

You too, Edward.

A sharp tongue, young Terry.

Oh, dear, oh, dear.

Do you know what he had the affrontery to say to me?

That all I care about is the wedge in my wallet.

Another one of your philosophical discussions, are you? He called me a

Me? Well, you do have strong views, Arthur, about certain social issues.

As do all thinking men.

And women.

Well, that's one of them for his job.

What? Women.

Well, you do go on a bit about them getting a vote and all that.

He's a current talking point, Dave, as is nuclear disarmament, lead in petrol,

unemployment, economic recovery, human rights.

Yeah, I suppose that's about a lot. Yeah, no, no, no. You forgot VAT, common

market, and violence on television.

I am a man tuned in to his times.

Well, no offence, Arthur, but some of your tunes are a bit offed.

It's a sorry state of affairs if a man cannot articulate his view on life

without getting slagged off.

Well, what was the trouble this time?

Gibbos. Gibbos? Yeah, he's got them with a pack of pike he's herding in their

wallets. Oh, chariot.

Yeah, well, no words said against them.

You know, when I was a nip, I lived on a farm for a while.

Yeah, we had a gypsy family living nearby. They worked on a farm and I used

play with their kids.

I liked them.

Yeah, I remember the old man took me to the Appalabee Horse Fair.

Bleeding horse, trot on me foot.

Yeah, but they were your genuine gypsies, Dave.

You know, lucky white ever and clothes pegs and all that.

Not like this lot.

Well, I take as I find of.

Hello, Wally.

Hello, Dave.

Usual. All set, Wally.

Where are the vehicles?

Over at my place. We'll get them over to Mrs Murdoch's in the morning.

Handsome. Where's Terry? Oh, he's clipping at the lot tonight.

He's wasting his time, I'm telling you. He's sent jibbos.

Take it easy, son.

One careful owner.

My goodness me.

The bold Terence McCann.

Correct. Well out of your manner.

But it'd be indelicate to inquire how you received that facial discolouration.

I was assaulted by a fat lady with a crocodile handbag.

You are a wag.

Yesterday, quite by coincidence,

I observe three very slippery gentlemen locked in a highly dubious meet.

Earlier this morning, again quite by coincidence, I read a report of a

mysterious fire in a car lot. The business premises are one of my three

faces. And? And, included in that report, your good self, pulled from the

flames by a uniformed constable. Ah.

Spontaneous combustion.

You read the report. That load of old fanny.

The facts as stated. Facts?

Fact number one, you are here.

Question number one, why?

Answer number one, you are what is colloquially termed a minder. Therefore,

erat demonstrandum, you are minding the business premises of Mr. Walter West.

Ergo... Your very presence suggests that Mr West's business premises are in some

jeopardy. You're receiving me.

It was an accident.

Who is putting the frighteners on Wally West?

I can't tell you anything because I don't know anything. Look, whoever did

is not poncing about. Whoever did this is a very wicked person.

No, you will not.

What you will do...

is you will inform me. And if I hear anything to the contrary, we will

this little tete -a -tete back at the nick.

Do I make myself crystal?

that then, Arthur?

Smooth as a baby's bum. Perfect colour match. Call it 30 quid, eh? That is a

joke, isn't it? I mean, that is an attempt at humour.

I worked all yesterday on that.

You think yourself lucky, my son. I'm not charging you.

What for?

Professional embarrassment.

20 quid.

Ten, if you'll throw in a little service.

What? Help me get these motors over to Fulham.

Well, they're funeral cars. That's right.

There's three of them, Arthur. I know there's three of them, Arnie. I can

One, two, three.

That airy thing that works for you sometimes.

Bernard? He lives local, doesn't he? Just trying to call him.

Use my phone. Shake him out of his pit. Oh, he's a very heavy sleeper, Arthur.

Fifteen, and that's my final offer.

How'd it do nicely?

No, I told the old Bill not to phone you. I mean, it's bad enough without

a night's sleep, isn't it? You're a good boy, Terry.

Who?

Who's doing this to me?

Why? That's what Chisholm wants to know.

Chisholm?

Chisholm was here?

Early on, yeah, being very busy.

What did you tell him?

Well, next to nothing, but he's not a wally, is he?

No, sorry.

Nah, you know, Chisholm wants to get his nose up, yeah?

Look at it.

Fifteen hundred quid.

I nearly had the bastard and all.

You okay, son?

This, ah, yeah.

Get worse than this when the heavy bag hits me back.

Have a look.

What is he want?

What's that?

I heard the explosion last night.

Quite a mess.

What do you want?

I'd come to help if that's all right.

How?

There was a car went past our place a couple of minutes after.

White Camaro with a primer on the door.

Did you see the driver?

No, too dark and had his foot down. But I've seen that car recently.

Where? Where did he where?

Recently?

Past week?

It was a bar.

You sure?

Parked outside.

Which one?

Old Parr's Head.

Oh, that's a rough house.

Yeah, there was a little team in there, fancied themselves a bit. Could have

been one of them.

Villains? Nah, working clothes, covered in shit. Looked like road men.

You won't get anything out of him if he's here with me.

All right.

Excuse me, John.

I'm looking for a geezer and drinks here.

Drives a big old beaten up American motor.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

He's got a job for me.

Do you know where I can find him?

I might.

Well, it'd be handy, wouldn't it?

I might not.

I need that job.

I like to work, do you?

Well, don't everyone these days?

Tidy these up, then.

And it may jog my memory.

All right.

They are in mint condition, Mrs Murdoch, and they drive like silk.

Is that rust?

No, bird.

Mere blemish of nature.

Oh, and the interiors are undeniably immaculate.

Very comfortable.

At the price agreed, they are a steal.

The price mentioned, not agreed, Mr. Daly.

Well, we couldn't let them go for a penny less.

Mr. Daly, you are selling, I am buying.

That suggests all kinds of possibilities.

Daily. L -E -Y.

L -E -Y.

Thousand.

Home.

You don't have to rush off, do you, Arthur?

Well, no, not exactly rush off, but I do have a pressing engagement shortly.

I think this calls for a... Celebration.

You haven't signed the cheque.

Uncanny. Oh, thank you. If you could just sign... You could be my poor Benny

standing there.

Your late husband?

Same height.

Same build.

Features. Voice.

When I first saw you, I couldn't believe it.

My heart went all funny.

May I offer my condolences, albeit somewhat a bit late?

Being a widow, recently bereaved, can be very lonely.

If you could just sign.

I'm sure you understand, Arthur.

Or perhaps if you took up a hobby.

Both?

Oi, teabag!

You want something, mister?

Yeah, that white motor.

Yeah, what about it?

Whose is it?

Well, who wants to know?

I do.

Hey, get on your bike.

Do you want your eyes parted, pal?

Hey, Ricky.

What? There's a fella here being busy about your motor.

Busy now?

Aye.

The unit's flag we broke into the lot the other night.

What are you talking about?

Give me this, aye?

One, two, more.

Is that the one, Terry? That's the one.

Mr. Primmins.

Mr. McCann.

There was another incident at Mr. West's premises last night.

Quite frankly, Mr. McCann, I am not surprised.

I did try to warn you.

One of his cars was set on fire.

That's very serious.

How serious?

Criminal damage.

Imprisonable offence.

Is it? It certainly is.

So it could be reported officially.

It's the most serious incident yet.

Will it go in the file?

File? File on the jet fifth.

It will head the file, Mr McCann, I can assure you of that.

The police must be informed about this.

Nathan.

You forgot a number or something.

I'm sorry, Mr Frivins.

You were phoning the police.

After Detective Sergeant Chisholm, he's very interested in that fire.

What's the meaning of this?

I don't know yet, but you're going to tell me.

Get out of my office.

No.

Not until you've told me why you've had this lump vandalised Mr West's premises

on three separate occasions.

Just to get rid of us?

No, there's got to be more to it than that, Nathan, isn't there?

Isn't there, Mr Quietstone?

You can't prove a thing.

I don't need to.

Because you are going to write it all down and you are going to sign it.

Mr. Apsimon?

Who the hell are you? Mr. Arthur Daly.

And Mr.

Walter West.

What do you want?

A little of your invaluable time to discuss a bit of reciprocal business.

Get out. Oh, by the way, Mr Fribbins sends his best regards.

Fribbins? Your bent counsellor. This is very nice. Must have cost a bob or two.

Can I offer you gentlemen a drink?

No, no, no, no, no. No, thank you. Now, I'm very particular about who I drink

with. You shyster.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I understand you have an ongoing interest

West's property.

Mr Fribbins was most explicit.

Apparently, you purchased, in a somewhat Machiavellian manner, all the land and

derelict properties adjacent to Mr West's premises.

I do have certain interests, yes.

Certain interests?

With respect, that is a slight understatement.

You got plans for a bloody great industrial complex. All you need is my

all the aggravation. What was that supposed to do? Soften me up, then you

over sharp as a shithouse rat and offer me half what it's worth.

And the poor old gypsies get to poke and all.

There's two birds with one stone. Very creative.

You should be in politics.

Look,

I'm sure we can come to some civilised arrangement.

That is why we are here.

To tell you that Mr West's property is definitely on the market.

Really?

At what price?

At the right price.

Which is both generous and unnegotiable.

And if that price is not forthcoming, both your good self and Mr Fribbins will

be grasped on the local authority.

Well, it's our duty, isn't it?

Well, there we go, gents. Good off. Cheers. Cheers.

Well, here's to a comfortable retirement.

Oh, Wally, by the way, here's your half of that knife at Lerner.

Oh, thanks, Arthur.

By the way, that silly murder, quite a girl, eh?

You might have warned me, Wally.

Oi. Oi, what's all that about?

Nothing, nothing. Just a little bit of professional badinage, that's all.

After your little cherry, was she?

No, no, she was not.

Nathan, you'll be all right now. Now that dog Fribbins is otherwise engaged.

No, no, we're moving on, you know. I don't like to be in my own place for too

long. And we've had a visit from the Inland Revenue.

Oh, say no more, my son. Those bureaucratic buzzards will have the last

Don't worry about it. Never mind this bird. You tell me about it. Oh,

you little rascal.

Oh, this is Terry.

Yeah, that's Wally.

Have you met Nathan?

No. Oh,

my God.

All smiles now, are we?

You've had another fire.

Huh? I fell over. Of course you did.

Ah. How fortuitous, you two arriving simultaneously at the same time, as it

were. This is Detective Sergeant Chisholm.

Words cannot describe him. This is very, very true.

Oh, isn't he tall?

Huge, he's huge.

Mrs Murdoch, Tilly to her friends, of whom you no doubt will be one forthwith.

No doubt.

What sign are you? I beg your pardon?

I'm Leo.

Oh, that is interesting.

Now, let me guess what you are.

Do you know, you remind me so much of my late husband.

Fish and chips?

Saffron?

I'll change the situation.

Right people, right time, just the wrong location.

I've got a good idea.

Just you keep me near. I'll be so good for you. I could be so good for you.

I'm gonna help you. Love you like you want.

I do.