Original subtitles

Thank you.

It'd be so good for you.

Love you like you want it to.

It'd be so good for you.

Love you like you want it to.

Morning by. Sleep well? Yes, I slept well, Tom.

No, the boys are not up yet. Yes, I fed the cats.

Come on, don't go close to breakfast this morning by.

Lovely day.

Lovely.

Must be Dad.

I can't let anyone sleep with me, Dad. It's not even eight o 'clock yet.

Morning, sonny.

What's the big idea, Dad? Oh, blimey, you're out of your pit before midday.

And you better take Mum up for breakfast. Not much point, son.

What do you mean, no point?

She all right? In a manner of speaking.

What's he on about?

She's passed on.

Oh, my God.

Come on, Johnny.

On your bike, Derek.

Hello, Charlie. Arthur here. How's things?

Look, I've just taken delivery of something rather special that I thought

might be interested in.

But listen to this, Charlie.

The spirit of Parliament.

Island Scott Whiskey, exclusively blended for the House of Commons. Not

to the common public.

There you go, Squire.

Have a nice day.

I've got one dozen cases, and I'm knocking them out at half a ton of case.

What do you say, Charlie?

Joking. Forty.

Listen, Charlie, we're talking about top -notch Scotch here. This is your real

falling -down juice.

You what?

All right, all right, yeah. I'll get back to you later, Charlie.

Tight -fisted git.

Want a shot of Scotch? Twelve years old, if I'm a day.

From the well -known clan of McCamacarsey? Oh, very droll.

I'll be in Tokyo a -fire.

Terry, the Japs have got this down to a fine art. You can't tell the difference.

They're having kittens up in Jopland.

Here, do one for us, will you? I want to bung Johnny Kane a couple of bottles.

Who's he when he's at home? One of Cecil Kane's boys.

Do you know how indoors do these? You know Cecil Kane.

He's got that big garage on a ring road.

Mercs and rollers walk the wall. Ah.

You know how he started?

Mending pushbikes in a garden shed in the 20s.

Marvellous, bro. He was the first geezer to stuff a bright nylon shirt down a

dodgy gearbox.

His name is revered on the car lots of his town, Terry.

One of your veteran villain mates, eh? Oh, in the midst of time. In the midst

time.

You do not have to lick the labels. You purchase a small sponge, dampen it,

apply it to the gluey side, and the rest is a doddle.

Well, you can do it yourself, then.

It's only closing, isn't it? No, it can't be.

It looks like it. No, no, no, there it is.

We'll sort it later, Terry.

We won't sort it later.

Oi, you, oi!

I'm not doing a stroke until I've got a few sobs in me pocket. Harry.

Now. Oh, all right.

Twenty.

Thirty.

There you are. Look, it's 25 there. Now, shoo, shoo, shoo.

Johnny, old son, good to see you.

Early closing?

No, no, no.

Extraordinary circumstances.

Shall we get on in round the back? Lead me to it.

Oh, yes.

76 Corniche.

Coachwork by Mulliner Park Ward.

Automatic air conditioning, duplicate power brake.

Spot on, Arthur.

Oh, and there's those Camargue -style front seats.

Oh, I nearly forgot, Johnny.

A little present for you. Ah, it's hard.

Clock the label.

Yeah, nice.

You're all right, Johnny.

You look a bit long in a boat.

What's up?

Look as if someone's died.

Yeah.

Mummet. Oh, my God.

Johnny, what can I say?

Talk about the foot, did you? No, no, it's all right.

It sure works now.

Poor old guy. How's Cecil taking it? Well, he's a bit wobbly at the dance.

Mind you, it wasn't exactly a surprise she had to take to her bed five years

ago, and the old man's been looking after her ever since.

No.

Here, look, Johnny, you want to call this off? No, no, no.

No, I might as well do it.

Life must go on.

True, true. In the midst of death, we are, and all that.

You'll bring your damn payment?

Three and a half Ks.

Return them by the weekend, if I change my mind.

Otherwise, the balance is due over two months.

Ignition key's offer?

No. Oh, er, when's the funeral? I feel I ought to attend. No, no, no. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. No, there's no call.

Vi and Cecil hold a very special place in my heart. I'd never forgive myself

not showing.

Well, tomorrow, I doubt it.

Mind you, Arthur, I'd rather you didn't bowl up in the Corniche. The key goes in

the middle. In fact, I'd rather you didn't mention it at all, because the

man in deck might just get a bit... Say no more, Johnny. Say no more. Your gain

is my gain.

Air conditioning in the middle. Her indoors will be over the moon. She's got

these feet, you see.

Well, I just run it round the block a few times, make sure the wheels don't

off.

Oh, give Cecil my heartfelt and deepest condolences, please. Appreciate that.

Nice car, Captain. Oh, Tom.

A cup of tea, Captain.

Fiver for a cup of tea. Fiver? Where are you going, Mr. Boyd? A quid, then. A

quid for a nice hot meal.

All right, pal.

A quid it is. There you are.

Spasted ponce. Pardon?

Parasite. Oh, that is nice, isn't it?

Very nice. Those were dicks!

Please don't get such people off the street.

You want to get your entrance cleaned up, Dave. Large vodka and tonic.

Charity stays at home from now on, I tell you. I'll have a lager and all.

Vagrants, they should be licensed.

What are you rambling on about?

Hey, have you told Dave about your afternoon's work?

Oh, no, no.

Dave?

Have a look at that.

That's very intriguing, Arthur. I've got a dozen cases.

What do you reckon?

The question is, Arthur, how did you come by it? I mean, I can't be too

No, no, no, Dave. Strictly between the three of us. My local MP drops in

occasionally for a drink and a bit of grassroots advice.

He's on very good terms with his member.

Yeah.

And he done me a favour.

Tell me, Arthur, you should have stuck some of these labels on upside down.

Why? For the optics.

Oh, why didn't we think of that?

You've done them all...

Oh, very amusing, very amusing. I shall go elsewhere and you will be the loser.

Oh, dear, oh, dear.

You can take the smile off your face, too. We're going to a funeral tomorrow.

I thought you were women.

That's right, she didn't know anything, Derek.

Oh, magic.

Well, he did say he wanted to.

Take a stroll in the garden, yes, we know. Why don't you get the kids inside,

Derek? Oh, Tracy, Nick.

What are you doing here?

She was my mother -in -law too, wasn't she? We got divorced, remember?

And who's that?

A friend.

There's no pickings, Christine.

I don't know what you mean.

Sorry we're late, Johnny.

Third day.

Yeah, it'd be even better if the old man don't show up.

Eh? Veneer?

He went off first thing this morning, God knows where.

I'll tell you this, Arthur. I hate to say this.

Yeah, thank you, thank you. I hate to say this, but I think the poor old sod

needs protecting from himself.

Where the bloody hell have you been?

Who are you?

Arthur Daly. Oh, yeah, that's funny. If I couldn't stand you. Who's this?

My boy, Terry. One winder. Minder? Nice day for it, Terence.

Yeah, lovely.

Don't bother now, Terence.

Why don't you come round the house after? Bring on Arthur with you, if you

Dear beloved, we are gathered here today to commit to God our dear sister...

Bye.

Swear it.

We'll get him back to the house by the time he's found there. Until we get him

put away, legally.

But how are we going to get him to go along with that?

Amen.

And now for a piece of music requested by the husband of the dear departed.

We'll have him sedated.

All right.

Shut up. Shut up.

Stop yucking.

Show some respect, for God's sake.

Like a nice family get -together, don't you?

Very well indeed, Al. Very well indeed.

Hello.

I'm Sheila Jones.

I'm Terry McCann. Can I get you another drink?

No, I'm fine, thanks. You pestering my secretary, young man. You want to watch

him, he's a right terror way, a right odd.

I don't believe a word of it.

You're looking very well.

Very moving, Cecil. Very moving. Leave it out, Arthur. It was a right monster,

you know it.

Would you get me another glass of wine, please?

Oh, yes, of course.

Goodbye.

Hello.

I don't think we've been introduced.

Well, I'm Terry McCann.

Christine Kane.

Doctor, we'll get you to meet as soon as we can.

Right,

come on in here, you lot.

In the hall, please.

Come on, all of you.

Come on.

Come on, come on.

Come on, right now.

Now, shut up, shut up, shut up.

Right, now I've got you all under one roof. I'd like to say a few words.

Firstly, I am deeply moved to see the family brought together to pay tribute

Vi, a fine wife, a mother.

There's Johnny there, my eldest, with a glass in his fist as usual, but, I mean,

why shouldn't he, after what he's been through today?

And then there's Derek.

Derek there, stricken with grief, despite appearances to the contrary.

And there's Sonia, Derek's wife, my delightful.

Daughter -in -law and little Tracy and Nicky there, my grandchildren.

All of them have been a great help on the extremely rare occasions they've

fit to call on me.

Oh, and, of course, not forgetting the beautiful Christine there.

Johnny's ex -wife, who'd done a runner some years ago, but who can blame her

after being married to Johnny.

Now, Dad, what kind of... Second.

Second.

My plans...

for the future.

Certain religious gents in India, having knocked their pipes out over the years,

make a few bob for their families, chuck it all in and shoot off with a

loincloth and a begging bowl in order to make up for all the conniving,

backbiting and general naughtiness they've committed in order to make the

aforesaid few bob. Well, I'm doing likewise.

Except I don't fancy a loincloth.

and I got a pension book.

Now, the entire business will be made over to my two deserving sons here,

not to mention this monstrosity of a guff.

Now, as I shall be very busy on my travels, I doubt if I shall be seeing

you lot again. I'm sure this will come as much as a relief to you as what it is

to me.

Right.

Right, push off.

Come on.

Come on.

Truffle.

Hello,

what's the matter with you lot? You should be over the moon. Oh, yeah, well,

Dad, we are, we are.

Who's this?

My doc, Dad, Dr Roberts.

Are you ill or something?

I'm just so glad you've been on a terrible strain.

Dr Roberts could get you something. You know, just to help you over this, what

is after all rather dodgy time.

Oh, yeah.

Probably right.

I'll tell you, I'm just going to go and have a jimmy, Doctor.

When I come back, perhaps you'd like to check me over. I haven't been feeling

myself lately, that is a fact.

Do you see that, Christine?

Which one's that?

Long blonde job.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think I'm in there.

Terry, we are attending a funeral.

Yeah, it's good, isn't it?

There's no time to be after a bit of the other.

What's she say?

Things are happening quicker than I thought.

You eyeball that, Doctor. They come up with a right straitjacket merchandise.

Oh,

come on.

I've got to do this on my own.

Terry, Terry, help Mr. Cain.

You interested in gainful employment, Terence?

Well, as it happens, I'm a little busy at the moment.

Yeah, we're pretty full up at the moment, Cecil.

Modest endeavours, but our own.

Don't want to get involved with a balmy old geezer like me, eh, Terence?

Something like that, yeah.

Terence, how can you say such a thing?

Always got time for an old friend, Cecil.

Right.

Give us your address, Terry. Paper on the desk. Oh, I'll do it.

Hold on, Arthur, hold on. That's all right, I know your address.

I don't want to get involved.

Now, now, now.

Give a geriatric an even break, eh, Terence?

That is right, isn't it?

Yeah.

He's been gone five minutes and I can't see that dodgy friend of yours daily,

anyway.

Oh, bloody hell.

Right. Time to blow. I'll open the door for you. No, no, the door's out, sir.

It's locked. Where's the key?

Take your time.

Cherry bar.

Where's the key?

Where's the key?

He said take your time.

Cherry.

Just coming, just coming.

I was just saying, one moment he was there, and then he lost his most

extraordinary behaviour.

Where's the gondola?

Oi, oi, oi, that ain't going to get you anywhere, pal.

Yeah, that sounds like death, not a bite.

Johnny. A word, Johnny, a word. Johnny.

Now that we're in bed together, I promise you I shall do everything in my

to help stand on me. That's exactly what I will do, Dally, if you get my old man

in. Stop! Don't cross the thought from your mind, Johnny.

Terry.

Goodbye, Mr Daly. Goodbye.

Goodbye, Mr McCann.

Yeah, tell him.

Bye -bye, Johnny.

It's ridiculous letting them go like this. If you want to stop them, Sonia,

stop them.

I'm not worried about daily.

I've got leverage.

Oh!

Now, what's got me burnt heart there, eh?

What do you reckon to it, Terry, eh?

I reckon we ought to let his tyres down. Park him right in front of an entrance

and I'll be silly.

Let the tyres down?

I mean, what is it with these people? They buy one of these, think they can

them anywhere, don't they? Terry, Terry, it's mine.

Yeah, I mean, it gets right up my nose, it really does. Terry, Terry, why do you

think I had you drive me round to Johnny Kane's garage?

I know.

It is mine.

Of me.

It.

You?

You bought this bleeding thing? I have simply made a modest down payment. I

the whip hand, as ever. And it is not a bleeding thing.

It's a vehicle of great dignity.

Tells you a lot about its owner, a car like that.

Yeah, like, look at me. What a wally.

Inspires confidence.

And what is good for me is good for you.

Here, come on. Have a drive.

Go on, go on, have a poodle round the block.

Automatic, is it? Yeah, of course. Come on, get in.

I'll show you the air conditioning.

There you go.

Isn't that nice?

I tell you what, let's nip round to the Winchester for a swift one.

Yeah, why not, eh?

Let's hope.

What's the matter?

You don't honestly think I'm going to drive this thing around with you poncing

about in her back, do you?

Well, next thing, you want me to wear a peaked cap, won't you?

It had crossed my mind, Terrence.

Well, it's only a joke.

Terry! Terry, where's your sense of humour?

Terry, I can't get out!

Leave me alone, Arthur!

Oh, Gordon Bennett!

I'm trying to have a clip, aren't I?

What? What?

In the afternoon?

What do you want, then?

Oh, charming, I'm sure. Here.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Very nice little place. Very cosy. Very cosy.

I don't like your music much, sir.

Excuse me. No offence, Mr Cain. That's all right, son.

It's all right.

You can call me Settle.

Now then, do you know what this is? They call them ghetto blasters.

All right,

all right.

Bennett.

All right, Settle.

Now, does anyone know you're here?

Certainly not.

Well, they're going to be worried, aren't they? Worried, worried.

They'll be out their tiny minds.

I'll tell you what.

I'll go and phone them.

You stay here, make yourself comfortable, I'll tell them you're all

I'll drive you home, OK? Not what?

Deliver me up to the teething, bastards.

No, Terence.

I do not intend to spend the rest of my days shucked up in some geriatric nick,

playing howsy -howsy with a bunch of old deers while my family live it up on my

savings.

Look, all right, so they might have a funny way of showing it, right?

But they've got to be worried out of their heads.

I mean, you've given them the garage, that huge great house.

You don't really think they're after your savings as well, do you? No, no.

You see, you're talking about assets, not really cash.

Now, I've grafted for my cash, and I'm not talking about a few quid in the tea

caddy. If they want cash, they're going to have to graft now, and they hate

grafting, believe me.

Give them a year, they'll be selling up to pay the phone bills.

They will.

They will.

OK. Had a bit of a punch -up.

Good as.

Jock McLeish was in here with some of his boys.

They were celebrating something.

This involved tearing each other from limb to limb.

Are you going to have a large one, Dave?

I think I don't want to.

Jock McLeish, eh?

Oh, there's a thought.

He's still got that horrible little club in King's Cross.

Yeah. Are you still tarting that scotch?

That'd be coming to chalk up, wouldn't it?

Selling jap scotch to the tartan terror.

I know. Do the chalk whenever you've found out.

That's worth thinking about, anyway.

I tell you, I've got a new car.

The whole manor is talking about it, Arthur. Well, I thought it was about

Her indoors is chuffed to her moon boots. You know, what with her feet and

everything. You, er, you want to come and have a look?

They all look the same to me, Arthur.

Dave, it is a Corniche.

I do not care if it is a Corniche pasty.

Frankly, it gives me the ump. You swallowing about in a thing like that

am subsidising your drink into the tune of...

147 pounds, 36 pence. What? What? And that is not counting the one that you

poured all over the bar.

Daily. Hello.

Is this a mate of yours? No.

I want words, Daily.

Large brandy, quick as you can. Johnny, let's talk to my father, Daily. What

have you done with him? Hand on my heart, I haven't the foggiest, Johnny.

He's with McCann, isn't he? No nonsense. You are stricken with greed, Johnny.

Now, Danny, it's an old man, his mind's gone, and you're hiding him from me? No,

no, no.

Look, Johnny, we've got a nice arrangement with that motor. Do you

think I would risk... You would risk trying to rip off an old man for his

savings? Now, keep it down, will you? Have your drink, Johnny, have your

If you'll lay a finger on my old man, Danny, I'll have you up.

Daily's flat.

Daily!

Is this your car, sir? Yes.

Uh, no.

Well, almost.

David!

Is this your car, sir?

Yeah, yeah.

No.

No.

It's not mine.

I got married when I was 80.

I was as green as grass. I mean, I didn't know me backside from holding the

ground.

Well, it turned out that I had married a woman who

couldn't stand the sight of me and thought that holding hands was a

offence.

Well, now, in them days, you kept it all and you pretended.

Well, I've been pretending a long time and now I don't have to. Now, if that

gets up people's noses, that's too bad.

I've got a lot of catching up to do, son.

I haven't noticed any marbles.

I'm just an old geezer who wants to get a few in.

I thought the lights go out.

Yeah, all right, all right. So this catching up you've got to do, what are

doing? What's the plan?

The industrial waterways of Great Britain.

Beg your pardon?

I bought this narrowboat in which I plan to herd the rivers and canals of this

great country of ours.

All at four miles an hour. I've transferred me LPs and 78s onto tape.

Well, it sounds terrific.

Terrific. And with your help, Terence, I'll get it all tucked up in a bank. All

I need is until Monday.

Monday.

Do you... Yeah, all right. But only till Monday? Right, right.

Morning, Captain.

Just relaxing beneath this fine example of capitalist exploitation.

Oh, my God, have you been pointing that breath at my underseal all night? Small

remuneration, Captain, for caretaking of the vehicle. I'll be it, Karl Marx.

Oh, no.

Oh, anti -theft device, Captain, eh?

Very wise, that, very wise.

What's she laughing for?

21, 22...

Well, take it easy.

Don't want to knock your pipe out, do you?

Hello?

Yeah. Oh, hello.

Well, as it happens, he is here, yes, yeah.

Well, keep the old goat under wraps till I get there.

Oh, sorry, no can do.

Well, we're going to check out Cecil's boat, aren't we?

We're on a river.

What's it called?

The Thames.

The Thames?

Do you mind? I'm not in the mood.

Look, just tell me where you're going to be.

He says what?

Untrustworthy? Me?

Listen, I'm dealing with a very delicate situation at the moment with Jolly

Johnny chasing me all over the manor and I need you to go and pick up the

roller. Why?

It's been clamped.

No, no, listen, Arthur, you told me to work for him, so that's what I'm going

do, all right?

I'll be in touch later.

Yeah, bye -bye.

So, things didn't quite work out with you and Daly last night.

I was unlucky.

I mean, you were pissed.

Listen, the old man must be plugged into God knows how many banks and building

societies. He might have kept it all at home.

So we know we've got until after the weekend to find him.

Now, I wasn't going to mention this, but... Well, I've done a little deal

Darlene. Over her mother.

Oh, you did, did you?

Yeah. So I'm reclaiming it to Darlene.

And he'll be begging me to help him out.

Oh, really?

Unless you'd rather your husband went out to Darlene.

Eh, sonny?

Hello.

Can you spare me a moment, please?

What the bloody hell do you want?

Well, it's just that, uh, Christine phoned me up.

You?

What for?

Well, it transpires that, uh, she knows when my can hangs out sort of thing.

Ah, then, Annie and Bob, you're gonna love this. It's about a triple time for

you. It's a reclaiming number.

Chap's being a bit, uh, casual with one of our Cornishers, so you reclaim it and

bring him along with it. Now, don't go out.

Just warm his cockles up a bit, will you?

You'll find it there, and that's the number.

Aye.

Who's jogging?

Who was there?

Daley. Who?

Arthur Daly. It's Arthur Daly.

He's having a breakfast.

Oh, tell him.

Daly.

Maximum security, eh, Chuck?

Haven't you heard?

We're at war with our West Indian friends round here. Oh, yeah.

Conflicts, really?

No, no, I had me muesli earlier.

What is it, then?

Take a look at that, Jock.

Sort of Parliament.

Those kind of bastards want their own label, eh?

Think of drinking that as an anti -establishment gesture, Jock.

Oh, no, no, no, it's a bit too early.

Well, why not?

Cheers, Jock.

No bad. I've got 11 cases.

35 a go. What do you say?

We'll see.

I've got to blow, Jock.

I've opened a bottle.

Can't leave a drop in it now.

Oh, no.

No, of course not.

Cheers. Cheers.

God, and I've never seen anything like it in me life. No Jack the Lad in a

purple capri does that to me on the open road, Pally.

Listen, you want to commit voluntary euthanasia, you'd do it without me.

every traffic is concerned, motorcyclists love a saying.

There is always a gap.

Yeah, between your bleeding ear holes. Oh, charming.

Right.

There she is.

Oh, dear, oh, Lord.

What a little gym palace, eh?

That looks smart, won't it? Parked up down the south of France.

You say what you like.

She was built for the job.

Still old, last few years. Diesel engine, likewise.

This little darling, I'll tell you, will go through any lock in the country.

Come on, I'll show you around.

Will we both fit in?

Dear, I'll see why they call them narrowboats. All the time, with a

mind. Oh, yeah.

Oh, but going to the car is a challenging experience, isn't it?

to hand, Terence.

That's exactly what I mean.

It's ridiculous, Garnet. What are you doing?

I need a drink, mate.

I feel like a travelling sailor.

How much have you got in?

Well, 30 ,000. You ever take a cent pick?

Mind if we... Mind if we join you?

Lovely day.

Lovely day.

You, uh... You work round here, do you?

I don't know two beautiful girls like you having to work. It doesn't seem

does it, Terence?

Here, listen.

What... What are you...

What you need is a father figure.

Oh, you do.

With a bit of cash. Here, cop a load of this.

Cecil.

God, are you sure your father's allowed out?

He's not my father.

You behave yourself, will you?

I reckon my crumpet pulling days are over.

With your technique, I'm not surprised.

Now, listen, I hardly ever walk out on job, right?

But if you don't behave yourself, that's exactly what I'm going to do.

All right, all right, all right.

Oh!

Miss Jones!

Sorry I'm late, Mr Cain.

Hello, Terry.

Sheila Jones.

We met at the funeral.

My former secretary.

That's right, yeah, of course.

Do you want a drink? No, no, haven't got time.

Now then, Mr Cain, down to business.

Everything's arranged for tomorrow.

Oh, and I managed to sort out that... Trade deposit account at Enfield. So,

you've got to do now is sign that.

Right, excellent, excellent.

Epitome of efficiency, as usual, Miss Jones.

Thank you. Oh, by the way, young Terence here, he will accompany you tomorrow.

Will I?

Oh, good.

That'll be nice.

Hang on.

Yeah. Ah.

Oh, yeah, hold on. Excuse me.

Am I right in thinking that Miss Jones...

He's now walking away with all your ready... With the readies, with the

that's right. Much safer with a capable Miss Jones.

Well, I must be off. Now you two behave yourselves.

See you tomorrow then, Terry.

Yeah.

Oh, what a cracker.

Brings tears to an old man's eyes.

Don't do much for a young man.

Tell you so.

Get on the dog.

We fired old Arthur down here for an evening on the river.

Arthur? Why not?

Poor old bugger's probably feeling a bit left out of it.

Just before we ought to have a little chat.

Well, Johnny, I was going to bring it back anyway. On reflection, I prefer the

four -door.

So if I could just have my deposit back. Deposit?

No, no.

Let's just call it a rent -off. No, no, don't push me. Where's our man, Daly?

Well,

he is with Terry, this is true.

But on my life, on my family's, on my bank manager's life, I do not know

I think you ought to... No, no, no violence. I've got this terrible nausea.

I couldn't be responsible for the consequences.

I don't want him chucking up all over me overalls, boss.

If I could just pay a little visit.

Okay.

Oh, no.

Spread out, Derek.

Derek, spread out.

Derek, it's too late. It's too late. It's gone.

Dave.

We're closed.

Dave.

Arthur.

What's wrong with the front door, then? I think I've had a heart attack.

I'll explain it to him.

Could I have a glass of water, Dave?

Water?

Yeah, of course.

What's happening?

Had a push start, the roller?

Oh, that bloody silver lady. I think she's the patron saint of vandals.

Thank you. Well, by the way, Chal phoned. He wants you to meet him down by

river. What? Where? Where?

Where?

Phone. Phone, Dave. Right here.

Oh,

Dave, this is rather confidential.

Well, yes.

Oh, er, Mr John Kane.

Mr Arthur Daly.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We don't want no more of that sort of talk.

We are going to renew our relationship on a very different basis.

I think the can will show up.

Yes.

These small -time crooks can never stay away from home.

You sure there's any fish this far up?

Louis Armstrong, you ignoramus.

I think these maggots are pacifists.

Don't tell me there are people round here who don't know Louis Armstrong when

they hear him.

Terry!

Terry!

That's all the fish have swung their ox, of course.

Get it?

I'll tell you something, I don't reckon there are any flaming fish in this

river.

Terry! You dare for something?

Bennett? Oh, might have known.

Very decadent, isn't it? Very Terence McCann. I have been kidnapped, I've had

coronary, and here you are sitting having a quiet fish.

Nice to see you too, Arthur. You're in a spot above her, Arthur. No, no, no, no,

no. It's all sorted, Cecil. Just a little minor personal crisis. Nothing to

worry you about.

I want to work with you at the blunt end.

Terry, in the search, I think the wisest thing we can do is leg it as quickly

and quietly as possible.

What search are they?

Well, we've fulfilled our obligations. Time to move on to other things.

Bumped into Johnny, have we?

Johnny? Johnny who?

Oh, that Johnny.

No, no, of course not. What's that got to do with anything, anyway?

Well, search me, Arthur.

Now, the thing is, Tess was going to need Anne tomorrow, so I'm going to

about. Mind you, if you want to blow, blow.

Expecting someone?

No, no, no, no, certainly not, no.

Well, if you're going to stick here, I might as well stay with you.

Help you, my dear old loony. Oh, hello, Cecil.

I thought I'd rustle up some nosebag.

Yeah, Arthur's going to stay with us.

Oh, nice.

You can sleep in a sharp end.

You've done very well, my old son. Very well indeed.

Where's my boy?

Oh, in his crotch. Here.

You like your sausage and sausage, do you?

Oh, dear.

Four banks, a left luggage locker at Euston Station, now a newsagent.

Every time you come out, it gets heavier.

I know, it's difficult coping with money, isn't it?

Well, what do we do with it? Take it back to Mr Kane.

You're crackers, aren't you? I mean, the old family's jumping down his neck now.

I mean, if they... Terry, what do you say, generally speaking, that Mr Kane

what he was doing?

His young toe.

What?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my good Lord.

You all right, Arthur?

Whole of nature.

Seto? McCann?

Seto!

Go say hi!

Come on, McCann, something's in the bag.

I want the case.

Come and get it, then.

This is the bit I'm good at.

Ready?

Go.

Come on, come on, get it! Right -o!

I thought I heard a commotion.

Are you John Harold Kane of the Laurels Hurstfield Drive?

Yeah. We wish to talk to you.

Concerning monies owing to the customs and excise related to value -added tax

payment. Oh, my God, a Batman.

It's settled up like a kipper.

Not necessarily.

I'll handle it.

No, this is mine.

Thank you, darling. I think I'm going to qualify.

Terry! Terry!

Both of them?

Yeah.

Same time?

Yeah.

Are you tired?

No, I only made him coffee.

Oh, Terry.

Call that a world choke when I told him that old Cecil got away.

It seems the old man and his secretary have been fiddling with VAT, petty cash,

inland revenue, you name it, for ten years.

Of course, nothing was in his name. Vi and Johnny own the firm. And now it's

just poor old Johnny with all the bills to pay. My heart bleeds for him.

It is a disgrace.

That old goat sitting there with that lovely girl and all that cash.

Slippery as soap on a door handle, isn't he?

Excuse me, gents, we have a visitor.

Terry.

Hi, Jock.

How's it going?

I want to discuss a matter of spelling with you, Arthur.

Spelling? Yeah.

And this label.

Label? Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, label, yeah.

Sit down, Jock. I'll explain that to you. See, it's a little quirk of the

English language that you're probably not familiar with. See, you say

Parliament, but it's spelt Parliament.

Well, I'm talking about whisky with an E.

Whisky with an E is favoured by our Irish friends.

Oh?

Oh, yeah, that's all to do with the general election.

Isn't it, Terry?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, see, her indoors at number 10.

She, um... She made an e -dict. Made an e -dict. E -dict. You see, any whiskey

drunk at the House of Commons must have an e in it.

Don't panic, Arthur.

It's just the label I'm complaining about.

Whiskey's great.

I'll take another five cases.

Oh. Uh, Dave?

Drink's all round.

Of course, Lachlan's. Don't be silly.

Well, come on in. Have a puke. Here you go.

I'll change the situation.

Right people, right time, just the wrong location.

I've got a good idea.

Just you keep me near. I'll be so good for you. I could be so good for you.

I'm gonna help you. Love you like you want.

I'll do anything for you.

I'll be so good. I can be so good for you.