Original subtitles

600 pounds?

That better come with shoes and a bag.

Living in Peckham has made you so cheap.

But I could do with 600 quid since Mum and Dad have refused to pay for my

ticket.

Ticket to where?

Are you going to Nigeria?

No, Auntie.

Miami. Spring break.

Turn up. All my friends are going, and I refuse to stay here.

Sadie, you are very spoilt, too. Oh, my God. So, you want to go to Miami,

America, to go and be dancing with Justin Bieber and Chris Brown?

I think you mean Justin Bieber and Chris Brown.

Yes. Watch MTV.

I'm going to do whatever it takes to get that money.

You think you've got problems, Sade?

I've got massive loans to pay off. I'm getting final reminders, phone calls,

lot. I'm expecting the bailiff to crack down the doors any minute.

I'd do anything to pay that off.

Lie, cheat, even steal.

Does that mean that you cannot loan me any money?

I was going to ask you for some money. I was going to ask you guys for some

money.

Pathetic, all of us.

Five pound please make hey mate you've left your wallet

I

Couldn't

catch him up.

How could you in your pregnancy?

Loaded. I wonder how much is in there.

We'll never know, will we? Give that back. You can't look at a customer's

wallet.

It's about 500 pounds in here.

Wow.

I would not leave that lying around.

Give that back. I'm keeping it behind the counter so he can get it when he

back.

Tony, what if he doesn't come back? We can all share it.

Sounds like a great plan.

I mean, we all need the money, right?

Don't be silly. It's not ours.

Hopefully the poor guy will come back for it.

Well, I think I left my wallet in here earlier.

That's it.

I think it'll be your lucky day.

Yeah, I guess so.

I'll tell you what, Ashley.

Do you mind if I just count the money, make sure it's all there?

Can't trust everyone round here, you know.

DTA. Don't trust anyone.

Where's my money?

There was 500 quid in here. I know there was.

You looked.

No, it was a pancake.

You took my money.

I didn't take any of your money.

It's shadows once I did.

So have you got it?

Of course not. I never went near your money. Listen, one of you took the money

and I want it back. It must be some mistake.

It's no mistake.

You said yourself there's money in this wallet.

I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

I'm going to come back tomorrow morning, first thing.

And if I ain't got my money,

I'll be in serious trouble.

Just a bit more.

Come on.

Keep going.

Keep going.

Don't pass it back.

He was out wide. Look, wide.

Toby, how's it going with your exams?

Come on.

Toby, I said, how's it going with your exams? Yeah, it's going well, mum. It's

going well.

So, are you studying right now?

Yeah, studying hard.

Don't wait for it. What nonsense.

Will this arse -in -venga pay your bill?

But if I ask him... Ow!

Toby, I don't want you. If you love your life, you better confess in your class

this term or else you and I will be wearing the same trousers.

Oh, Dad.

How's it going?

The engine has packed up.

Dad, why don't you just call a mechanic?

Do I look like I can afford a mechanic?

I'll fix it myself.

You're not doing a very good job, are you?

Zip it.

Lord God almighty.

Why does this always seem to happen to our family? Problem after problem after

problem.

Dad, why don't you just get a new car or even a new engine? Dad.

Pimp that ride. If I can't afford a new car, how can I afford a new engine or a

new mechanic? It will cost thousands.

Bayo, if you are actually more prayerful and came to church aside from just

turning up at Christmas, you'll be more equipped to fight against the enemy's

problem. And, Gladie, you can take the bus to church.

Me, right? Yes. Take the bus. Stop for a bit.

Without my fashions. Ah, no. Need to sort it out. But, Gladie, how... Bayo,

you're a man.

So be a man.

I'll fix the problem.

And while you're at it, please take a shower. Get in, Matthew.

Toby.

Where am I going to get this money from?

Don't you have savings? Don't you have savings? You seem to forget that Auntie

Fumi's husband decided to die. I had to send some money back home. Then there's

money for Shadi at uni. Then there's your money for... Okay, so you've got

nothing?

No. Well, I have about 50 pounds to my name.

That's not a very long name, is it?

What's that?

Nothing. Dad, £50 isn't that bad.

Remember Boris, Dad? He turned that much into £100 ,000.

It's a lie.

£100 ,000?

How? Investment, stock market, online trading. It's easy. You could do it. You

always say you're a... What was it? Money mogul.

I just said that just to impress you.

can make that much money. Yes.

We can do it together and I can set it up. We can watch that money grow.

Yes, my boy.

That sounds like a good idea.

Yeah.

There must be some explanation.

It must have fallen out.

You're right. Let's look for it.

We'll get that at your door.

But it costs £600.

But I could do with £600, since Mum and Dad have refused to pay for my ticket.

I'm going to come back tomorrow morning, first thing, and if I ain't got my

money... ..can't find it anywhere.

somebody has taken it. Aunty, just admit it. You stole the money. No, no, no.

It's you, Shadi. Well, it wasn't me. Okay, let's calm down.

If one of you just confesses, we can return the money to its rightful owner.

Confess. Confess what?

I have no sense.

Look at you, accusing me now, Shadi.

When you are the one with the biggest motive.

Yes, honey.

Yes. All these loans and bank repayments. How many final reminders

Go on. Yes.

And you said that you would do anything. You would lie, you would cheat, you

would steal, just for the money. Now you've gone too far.

I gave that wallet back to that man, for goodness sake.

Yeah, after you emptied it.

No, it was Funke.

It's you, Tony, you did it.

I'll take it with you.

Okay, let's stop going round in circles.

Money doesn't disappear on its own in a matter of minutes.

Somebody did it.

We just have to find out who.

What we need is someone to help us get to the bottom of this.

Did someone call?

Peace be unto this cafe of glory.

I think we've got the right person.

Toby,

what stock are we

investing in?

Um... Well, having read online, it says you should invest in something null.

And seeing as you can't afford to lose money, how about invest in Nigeria?

Ah, that's a good idea, my boy. Invest close to home. Smart move.

But invest in what?

Um, how about oil?

Oh, that's very good. Sounds good, my boy. You know, I've been reading about

this new oil company, and they haven't found any oil yet. But with a bit of

money behind them, I'm sure they will. Dad, don't you think that's a bit risky?

I mean, maybe you should invest in something that's a bit more established.

no, no, my boy. Let me tell you something.

As a money mogul, you have to learn to take risks.

That's what making money is all about. I mean, look at Danguti.

He started by just selling ordinary cement. Now he's a tycoon.

And don't forget Mike Adenuga. He was selling mobile phones in Yanakwaja. Now

has the largest network in Africa. And let's not forget the women. They are all

risk -takers. And, of course, Bola's father.

Did he invest in a big farm? No. He started small and then saw them grow.

Now he's ripping the reward.

Okay, but Dad, just because you're reading the Financial Times and you know

this information, it doesn't make you a money mogul.

Shush, my boy, I'm at work. Just invest my money and let me watch it grow.

Oh, all 50 pounds of it, yeah?

There goes the last of the big spenders. That's right.

Bayo, what's going on?

Nothing, just having a man -to -man chat.

Toby, he wants your phone back. He better steal it.

Oh, Mom, he's investing in his dog.

Investing, eh?

That's your Joe Mark, Mommy.

The last time you invested our money in Landy Leckie, you were 419.

Gladdy, must you always be a messenger of the past?

You want to waste our money on investing, eh?

When you can't even afford to pay for a mechanic to fix the car. Gladdy, I am

investing in the future.

We will make money, I swear. By this time next year, we will be millionaires.

That's what you told me 20 years ago. Look at us now.

We're not even 100 years.

No more investing. End of.

Guess I'll have to cancel it then.

No, Toby.

But Mum said... Mum said don't listen to your mother.

She doesn't have the same economical mind that I have.

Now just sign me up. Give me my password so I can track my progress.

Okay.

Password is bio the billionaire.

One word. That's good, my boy. That's good. Bio the billionaire.

Just don't tell your mother.

Shaday, Shaday.

Tony.

Businessman Tony.

What would your parents say when they find out that their only daughter is

to spend her whole youth at one of the Queen's prisons?

Pastor. Pastor.

You know me. You know me.

I will do anything for my designer, Ashway B.

I understand how you feel.

And I know about temptation.

Which is why I know you took the money.

Young lady. Pastor, why would I do that?

I'm studying law.

I've got my whole life ahead of me.

Why would I install a new security system if I was a thief?

Let me tell you who I think did it. I can tell you who did it.

What if I told you about something that I saw?

Now we are talking.

Go, go, go, go. Up you go. Up you go.

Thank you, God.

Finally, my wife will respect me more.

Do you want to get into trouble? My friend, forget about trouble. Do you

how much money I am making as we speak?

Money, money, money, money.

Now go.

I am rich.

Finally, I knew this day would come.

How? By ignoring my wife.

I invested in a new oil company and they have struck black gold, baby. I have

already made a fortune.

So how much have you made?

At this moment, I have already made 150 ,000.

Thousand pounds.

Now, what to spend my fortune on?

First of all, I'm going to pay off all my debts.

Buy myself a new Mercedes -Benz, brand new. Buy myself a house in Lakey, first

one, of course.

Repay the mortgage by Gladio.

renew my sports subscription, HD, and last but not least, quit my job.

Eh? Quit your job? Franco, welcome back.

You are leaving?

Yeah. I have only written the resignation letter.

Dear Karim, you useless woman, I have been fed up with this degrading position

while you have tried to rule me despite me being the one that trained you.

I have decided to resign from my position with immediate effect and move

better things.

May you rot in hell and take this job and shove it where the sun doesn't

Yours sincerely, Bayo. Thank you very much and goodbye.

Bayo, please, no, no, you can't.

Bayo, Bayo, you can't go. Without you, I have nobody.

I have nobody.

Goodbye,

9 to 5, Bayo.

And hello, Bayo, business mobile.

Yes,

I'm still here.

Yes, I would like to order two Mercedes matching, identical. One for me and one

for my wife. That's right.

Yes, I will hold on.

Dad, did I just hear right? Yes, my boy.

I am rich. I have turned that 50 pounds into nearly 200 ,000 pounds in a day.

Yes!

I have quit that useless job. I am now a tycoon.

Toby, your father, is rich.

We're rich.

So where's my cup? Shut up.

I'm going to deduct all the money that you have cost me throughout your life.

Don't expect much.

So all of this from a small oil firm?

I told you they would find it. They will find the oil.

Too much money.

Yes, I'm still here.

Yes. How much?

£50 ,000. No problem.

No problem at all.

That's right.

Let me just get my debit card. Yes. Yes. Please hold on. Yes, my boy.

The company just released a press statement apologising for misleading the

market.

Apparently they overestimated their oil findings and in fact have not found the

amount they declared.

Huh? In fact...

They found nothing.

Huh? What does this mean?

It means the chair price has crashed way lower than before.

How much?

A hundred thousand less?

Lower.

Fifty thousand?

Lower.

10 ,000? Much lower.

How much?

I'm minus 50 pounds.

I've lost all my money.

Oh, my God.

This is your fault. You told me to invest in that useless oil company.

No, it's you.

You're the money mogul. I have to get to the office and remove my letter of

resignation. You have to get there quick.

I don't have a car.

Don't tell your mother.

Someone's left for me. I think it's from Bayou.

No! Gary!

Gary!

Gary! Get off!

Bayou! What are you doing under my desk? Why are you in a dressing gown?

Um... Slip walking.

Bayou! Get off!

Gary, don't...

Dear Karen, I just wanted to say how much of a wonderful, kind and honest

manager you are.

Thanks so much.

From the whole team.

Oh.

How lovely.

Well, it's nice to see you appreciate me for a change.

And speaking of change, go home and put some clothes on. Else it'll be a

disciplinary for indecent behaviour in the office.

Get on with it.

My job is safe.

It's safe.

Thank you, God.

Thank you. Thank God for that letter.

But how?

Thank God?

Thank God, Bayo.

You should be thanking me.

You?

Bayo, I threw that resignation letter out.

I couldn't have you leave here.

Leave me.

Alone in this place?

And I knew despite your riches you would come back.

You and I.

We are a tag team, Bayo.

Yes. Thank you very much.

And I am sure to say... Bayo.

You have inspired me so much that I have invested all my life

savings into that oil company.

Yes, sir.

Eh? Frank. I'm Bayou.

Money moguls.

Frank. Eh?

Franco. Eh?

Bayou.

So, ladies and gentlemen, I have reached my verdict.

It appears you have all accused each other, which means that you are all to

blamed for the lies and the deception. You are all equally guilty.

All of you.

Guilty!

What I suggest...

is that you all put your money together and give it back to the man when he

returns. I don't have any money to put in. I mean nothing.

But me too.

Admit it, Pastor, you're none the wiser. None the wiser. None the wiser.

Tony, you said you spent money for security in this cafe.

Where is the security?

Oh, the CCTV, of course.

Tony,

you had CCTV and you never thought about looking at it.

I just forgot to check it.

Forgot? Forgot?

Let us look at the footage. I'm sure the culprit will be revealed.

I don't understand it. The wallet stays there all the time. Nobody touches it.

Just rewind it to the part where you give the wallet back to the man.

Look, look, look, look at him.

Closer. Zoom in, zoom inside, zoom inside.

You see, he put the wallet into his left pocket and then take another wallet.

Out of his right pocket.

Pastor, what are you talking? What I'm saying is that he has two wallets. One

empty and one filled with cash.

We've been scammed. Oh, Lord, thank you, God. We have found the truth.

So, you lot, you got my

money? No problem. We got it right here.

Grab it! Grab it!

You think you're very smart.

But you can't fool us. Now this is fighting on the patrol.

Come on.

Don't let him go. I want to report a crime.

A serious crime.

A crook. In a blue suit.

My auntie's got him.