Original subtitles

Finally some peace and quiet.

Get away from Dad's horrible singing.

Time to sell this stuff and make some money.

Today is the day of joy.

Today is the day of joy. Dad. Joy.

Dad, you're everywhere.

Can a man not get some peace in his own place?

Wait, aren't you supposed to be at work?

No, son.

Today is my day off.

You know what?

I overheard Gladly talking to your Auntie Tayo, telling her that I need to

more caring, more romantic.

So, today I have decided that I am going to prepare some wonderful

breakfast for my beautiful potato.

But zip it, because she doesn't know anything about it.

Wait, me zip it?

You're the one coming here singing with that frog voice.

I'm trying to do a business here, trying to make some money.

Toby,

let me tell you something.

You will not even know I'm here.

Toby!

Toby! How the hell do I know?

I just come in here to eat.

You're doing my head in. In fact, Toby, what am I doing?

What am I doing? A Nigerian man doesn't need to cook a breakfast to show how

romantic he is. Only in London. No.

No one's going to make this romantic breakfast all by herself.

Today is the day of joy.

Charlie. Charlie.

Stop.

Charlie.

Of course I won't say anything.

I'd love to see you.

I wish I was with you right now.

Tonight?

Yeah, I could see you tonight.

No problem.

Listen, I have to go.

Okay.

Love you.

Kisses.

Look, that useless woman.

I pray that God will come and destroy my enemies.

I doubt he's as mean as you are, Funke.

Seriously, you need to snap out of it. You've been staring at those two for an

hour. Look, that Kylie Wang is a thief.

Are you telling me she didn't pay for that chocolate?

She stole my Frank, my papa.

Okay, why can't you just be happy for Frank? He looks like he's found his soul

mate. Soul mate, God.

Soul mate, me.

She's in Jezebel.

Listen, jealousy is a terrible thing. Move on.

There's plenty more fish in it.

Look, there is only one course of, okay?

Excuse me. Can I speak to the manager, please?

I'm the manager.

Can I help you?

This place is filthy.

There needs to be dramatic improvement.

Who cleans this establishment? What is your problem? What is your problem?

These are unacceptable conditions for a woman of my status.

Fonke, can you come over here and clean this table?

Bad woman!

Nonsense!

You said clean. I did clean.

Dad? You alright?

Dad?

After Dad...

Dad, I need some money for my eBay charges.

Where's your mum going?

I mean, it's only a couple hundred quid. I mean, not that much.

Toby, you and all this internet playing. This is serious.

Where did your mum say she was going?

Um, I don't know. An interview, work or something.

Interview?

Yeah.

I asked her for some money this morning and she said she'd be home late.

She told me to ask you.

Home late?

For what reason will your mum be home late?

I just told you. An interview.

An interview?

Really?

Are you okay?

Toby, has your mum ever mentioned anybody by the name of Charlie?

Charlie? Charlie?

Doesn't ring any bells. Yeah, I didn't think so.

And why would you not tell me about going to this app?

parent interview.

Dad, she probably did tell you, but as usual, you don't listen.

Toby, I always listen to your mother. That's how I know about this Charlie

Okay, look, I'm not getting involved in your paranoia. Me?

Paranoia? Don't be silly.

But I must get to the bottom of this. I must find out why my potato is in this

Charlie man tonight.

I will investigate.

Whatever, Sherlock.

However, there is one real question here.

What is it? Spit it out. Spit it out.

Are you going to give me the money for this eBay or not?

She wanted a clean table.

She got a clean table. I cleaned her. You were determined to get rid of her

the start. And it's not on. I won't have that in my cabin.

Okay, okay. I'll stop.

Frank behind you.

Oh, how can I? I can't do that.

It's my love, my heart.

Is it possible?

You can. Now make yourself useful.

And please, be careful.

Funky!

It's not my fault.

I didn't have Daniel that he was going to enter.

Sorry, but it's all right, Tony.

I'm used to being assaulted by these useless women.

Tony?

I need to talk with you.

Why are you dressed like that?

I'm investigating a potentially serious crime.

Just call me Bayo Sherlock Adebanjo Holmes.

Now, Tony. Tony!

Have you seen a certain Gladdy Adebanjo? Five foot seven? A resident of Dalton

Road? Southampton Way?

Peckham? You mean your wife? Yes.

She was in here earlier, as a matter of fact. Aha, she did?

Tony, why did you not tell me? If I have to tell you every time someone comes in

the cafe, I'd have to call you at least once a month.

That's right.

Well, don't worry, Tony. Things will get better. Now, back to my investigation.

What did she come for?

She was picking up doughnuts for a friend.

Doughnuts?

She doesn't eat.

Worse than I thought.

Now she's buying him donuts.

What's this about?

Tony, I can't confirm anything.

And I don't want to make an offer.

But I have a suspicion that Gladys is playing away. My sister?

Playing away?

Half -sister. And this is a private conversation between us men. Oh, I am

interrupting in this one. What nonsense are you talking about?

Gladys is meeting a man called Charlie today. I heard her on the phone. She's

using her job interview as a cover to dodge me off the scent.

Funke, what do you know about this?

What did you say his name was?

Charlie.

What is... Funke, if you know something, tell it. Spit it out. This is not a

joking matter.

Bayo deserves to know.

Do you know this, Charlie?

I cannot betray my sister.

It is not in my place to say anything.

Funke.

Funke. If you do not tell me anything... Well, lie to lie. You will be sleeping

on Peckham High Street tonight.

Gladys has been talking about this new friend.

She... Very close to it.

Close?

Funny.

Close. What more do you know?

I don't know anything.

But I would advise her to leave you. You useless man. At least she

has a useless man.

You have been single for almost 40 years. 40 years, Tony.

20 years. 20.

30. Done.

Thank you. It's sensitive time, Funky. How can you be so mean? I will find this

man, Charlie.

This man who wants to be with my wife.

This man who is trying to steal my wife will not succeed.

Poor bloke.

Francky. I love you, Franck. Francky, Francky.

Francky! Wake up!

Oh, Tony.

You're disturbing my time with Franck.

He was about to wine and dine me. We were at Leckie Beach.

Oh, the mood was just right.

Francky, you were sleeping on the job. Nap in when you should be serving

customers.

What customer?

Look, wake me up when someone turns up.

Oh, Frank!

You've finally come to your senses and left that woman.

Who are these gifts for me?

Are you still dreaming?

I tell you, I'm exhausted.

All the buying of these gifts from McKenna has worn me out.

Oh, Dinah's shoes.

The final make -up. Nothing but the best for my Makena.

Can you get me a drink? I'm a little parched. Oh, and a sandwich.

Wow, Frank, you must really love this woman, all this designer stuff.

Tony, Makena is the perfect woman for me.

Hey, is that all I get?

Tap water?

What about a little juice or a cocktail?

Water is what you deserve.

But what about my freebies?

Freebies?

Where are they?

If you want something, you pay for it.

I've had enough money to waste on all this. But, Fuge, I've spent my last

on Makena.

Then get used to water.

I can't get my freebies.

I'm going home.

Can somebody help me with my bag?

Are we your slaves?

Well, Funke, looks like you've finally got over him.

Now, what are all these freebies he keeps talking about?

Who is Charlie?

Charlie who?

Charlie what?

Okay. We'll find out. We'll find out.

I will make my investigation.

I will complete my investigation.

Hi, Gladys. It's me.

Just wanted to say it was great seeing you today. A total pleasure.

I've got some big decisions to make, and so do you.

But I'm sure you'll make the right one.

I think you're the right woman.

Let's talk soon.

Hello? Yes, you homewreck.

Whatever decision you want my wife to make, she will not make with you.

Leave my wife alone.

She's not interested, you hear me?

She is not interested at all. Can you stay away and never call this house

That confirms it.

My wife.

My potato is having an affair.

Oh, look who it is.

Queen MacTenna.

Didn't think we'd see you again. Say, this place was a disgusting little dump

not suitable for the likes of you.

Darling, this... places, all of those things.

But Frank insists that you come.

Come with me to this place.

Where is your Prince Charming, anyway?

Only just parking my new BMW.

BMW?

For you?

He saved all his money with the freebies you gave him.

Only, but only to all be mine.

I always get what I want.

Don't carry on, please.

Who's he?

Really?

Champagne?

Wine? Oh, somebody just get me something to drink.

We do tea.

Fine. None of this herbal that you do.

Tony, I don't think you should serve this stupid woman.

I beg your pardon?

Open your ears and hear me correctly.

You are not welcome here. Come on, Tonka.

Ah, your lip. Talk it inside.

Listen, waitress.

Can you do as you're told and get me a drink?

You see, the time of you getting what you want has passed.

Now, get out before I throw you out.

I demand a drink.

I demand you shut up.

Get out or I throw you out.

Just because you weigh 300 pounds doesn't mean you can take me.

Right, John. You see, I will break your two -person legs.

Leave you. I will deal with you.

Don't try me on. Don't leave me alone.

Let me deal with this guy, Zipper. I will cut her into pieces.

Calm down, lady. Calm down.

Oh, you're just jealous.

You're jealous that I have Frank and you have nobody.

Who cares about Frank? I just don't want any garbage to enter into our cafe.

And you know what is funny?

Is that I have Frank.

You never will.

And I don't even like him.

What? Frank is a simple -minded buffoon.

He is so way below me. I am a woman of class.

Frank is a guy who is easy to get. Easy to wrap around my finger. I ask him to

jump. He says, how are you?

I ask him to sit. And he pants like a puppy.

You come any closer and you will miss your water.

What the fuck? No, not again!

I will dump that pathetic wimp for you to pick up the pieces.

Really, Magena?

Throw me to the cab?

Pathetic wimp?

Frankie!

Listen,

funny story.

I can explain.

Get out.

Get out of here, you terrible woman.

But, Frankie, we're in love, and... I was a fool.

I believed in love at first sight. But now I've come to my senses.

Get out of here before I set Funke on you.

I know you're feeling very down.

But here's your favorite soup to cheer you up.

For free, of course.

Thank you, Funke. It's just what I need.

I have never felt so low.

I can't believe I didn't see she was using me for my money.

Any idiot would have seen that.

No, no.

You see? Oh, she was very convincing.

You know what, Funke?

You are the only one who understands me.

You know what I like.

You know how I like my food, and you give me so much for free.

Maybe my true love has been standing in front of my face for so long, and I have

been blinded.

I've been telling you this from day one.

Open your eyes.

I'm meant to be your wife.

Frank, come with me to my place.

I'll cook you a good meal.

And then we can cement our relationship.

I never thought I'd say that I... Hang on, what am I doing?

Funke, your shift isn't over!

I love you.

Well, well, Gladys.

So you have decided to return home after all of your gallivanting around town.

Excuse you, Bayo. Who is the one gallivanting around town? Why are you

like you know nothing, eh?

Gladys, the way that you have treated me is despicable.

You know what?

I should just leave.

Are you joking, Bayo?

Why do you want to leave? That's right. Why should I leave? You should leave.

Get out.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Excuse me, Phu.

I have no time for this foolish nonsense, Bayo.

I've had a long day and I'm tired.

Tired now? After spending all your precious time with Charlie?

Charlie? Don't act like you don't know anything.

Spending all your time with Charlie and going to God knows where, doing God

knows what. I can't even bear to think about it.

Sorry, Gladys.

You forgot your handbag. Thank you, my love.

Who is this?

This is Charlie.

Charlie is my friend from work.

She was left at the altar by her fiancé, and I've been supporting her through

this difficult time.

So, Charlie is a woman?

Mm -hmm.

Last time I checked, yes.

Mm -hmm.

Just wait here. Make yourself comfortable.

I'm going to bake your favorite vegetable, okay? And juice, fresh fish.

Take care, mm?

Would you like jam, Fatih?

Frank, where are you going? We need to cement our partnership.

Frank! Frank!

Bayo, you are such a calamity, jealous goat. How could you ever believe I would

ever cheat with Charlie?

But Gladys, you don't understand. All of my investigations pointed to you

playing away.

Investigations. Oh, man, it's time. Bayo, you've completely gone out of your

mind. But the phone calls, the donors, the man who rang, any man would have

assumed the worst.

I had an interview for an important position at work. Then I went to see

Charlie. That was all it was.

So the interview was real?

Yes, now, and it went really well. It's an amazing job. Double the salary, great

pension plan.

Bayo, things are finally looking up for this family.

Hi, Gladys.

It's Alexander from HR.

Look. If you wasn't interested in the new position, you could have just said,

it's embarrassing and damn right rude to get your husband to shout at me down

the phone like that.

Don't worry, I've given the job to someone else.

What a shame, you would have been perfect.