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Gladio.
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Gladio. I have some important news.
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Who do I?
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No, no, no.
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This is of the utmost importance. Today
is a landmark day. After 20 years of
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hard work and struggle in this country.
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Praise God. You've been promoted to
housing manager.
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No, but we're still believing.
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They have allowed Nigerians into the UK
without visa. Potato, be realistic,
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please.
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Then what is this? For the first time
ever, we now have a Nigerian MP
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representing Peckham. MP Lola Rokosu.
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And that is what you think is serious
when we have more important news to deal
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with. Like what?
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Toby's tutor just called. He's worried
about Toby's exam. He says he's not
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completing any assignments.
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That boy?
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You mean he's still messing around? Even
with all the extra lessons that I am
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paying for? What are we going to do
about your son?
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So he's now my son. Okay, okay. Our son.
What do you suggest?
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I don't know, Bayo, but my spirit tells
me. It's a friend he's hanging with.
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They're corrupting him. Ah, no, no, no,
no, no, no. Gladly. I have trained my
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son not to hang around with any useless
people.
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Meet my friend, Sean.
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Hello, Sean.
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Wagwan pop.
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Who is this?
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Yo, Mr. Adebanjo.
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Malaxundo.
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What are you doing in my house? And with
my son?
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Dad, he's a friend from school.
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Yeah, man. Chill out, P.
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Chill out?
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P? My friend, pull up your trousers.
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Are you constipated? Or do I want to see
your bottom?
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Dad, just relax.
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Chill out.
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Why are you harassing my friend?
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Relax? Chill out?
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So, this your friend has been corrupting
your head, my friend.
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Why did you bring this ragamuffin into
my house?
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Dad, he's not a ragamuffin. He's just a
friend from school.
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Okay, okay. Like Facebook, they will
unfriend him. Sharp, sharp.
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Sean, Oya, start to go. Because Toby is
not at home.
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But, Dad.
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I'm right here. Shut up, my friend. Bye
-bye.
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Peace out.
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Peace in.
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Can I go?
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Toby, come here.
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Can I go?
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This is rubbish.
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Where do you think you are going?
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With Sean.
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With Sean?
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Is that the kind of people that I have
been training you to be hanging around
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with? Dad, allow it, man. Sean's cool.
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Allow what? You think I would be
allowing you to hang around with that
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No wonder you're having bad grades at
school.
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Dad, you're always blaming my friend for
everything.
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You just don't want me to have friends.
Listen, son.
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Bad company corrupts good manners.
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You should learn to hang around with
decent people like Douglas.
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Actually, Sean's quite smart. I'm
learning from him. Learning what?
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How to be puff daddy?
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Dad. What? It's P .E. Diddy. Well, shut
up!
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I don't want to see you hanging around
with that Jagudah.
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Full stop.
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Look at those shoes.
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Sade, imagine me with these shoes. The
TV party party.
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With my new party.
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When? Auntie, don't you mean Christian
Luta?
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Yeah, that's what I'm saying now. The
one with the yellow bottom.
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Auntie, you mean red bottom.
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Whatever, Josh. Shut up.
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What do you know? Do you think you know
more fashion than me?
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Yes. I follow all the latest fashions,
trends, and designers.
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Auntie, why don't you just buy shoes
from somewhere you can afford?
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Like Primark.
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Primark. Primark.
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Primark. The last time I bought shoes
from Primark, the heels broke before I
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even entered the factory.
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I had to carry the shoes. And I was
hopping and dancing and hopping and
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with the broken shoe under my arm.
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But, Auntie, Unless you get another job
or a miracle happens, you're going to
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have to kiss goodbye to those shoes
because you can't afford them.
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Lord, you know my heart desires.
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You know my heart desires.
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Oh, Lord, help me, oh. Help me, oh.
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Help me. I just won 400 quid on the GGs.
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That's why my luck has come in.
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Wow.
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Big bar.
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Big bar. Big bar.
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That's me.
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Yes. The Donald Trump of all the cafes.
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But with better hair.
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Yes, yes.
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Better hair.
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Yes. Better style.
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A bigger wallet.
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The most handsome in the whole of
Peckham.
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Okay, Fante, what is it now? When you
start calling me handsome, I know
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something's wrong. So what do you want?
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Funny, you should ask.
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I have a business proposal.
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I need a small loan.
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Your last business proposal had all your
aunts in here turning the place into a
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hair salon.
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They were not my aunts. They were
sisters from the church.
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What harm did they do anyway?
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What harm?
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We were nearly closed down when they
found all their hair in the food.
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I just need a bit of start -up capital.
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Look, let bygones be bygones.
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Those other ideas, they were...
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Trial and error.
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Every business of yours is an error.
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Look, I will give you back the money in
two days.
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Two days?
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Nonsense. Look, and if I don't, I will
work for you for free for a whole week.
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A month.
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Two weeks.
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Deal.
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Where are you going?
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Dad,
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I'm going to a friend's house to do
coursework. Which friend?
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Kevin.
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Kevin? I saw Kevin going this morning to
a football practice. So where are you
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really going?
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00:08:02,860 --> 00:08:06,880
Dad, give me a break, man. You're acting
like it's illegal to step out the
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house. Where are you going?
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00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:14,850
Sean, I thought I told you not to hang
around with that boy. But Dad... You
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00:08:14,850 --> 00:08:18,910
you didn't want to see him in this
house, so I'm going over to his house.
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00:08:19,830 --> 00:08:23,810
You look like as if you don't really
value your life. Or you are too silly to
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listen. I told you that you must not
hang around with that boy, full stop.
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I need Sean to study with. We're in the
same group.
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00:08:31,730 --> 00:08:34,409
Studying? Yeah, we're coursework
partners.
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Look at this if you don't believe me.
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Study.
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That ragamuffin studies.
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Wonders shall never cease.
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And if, if I fell, you will be the first
one to threaten me with a one -way trip
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to Nigeria.
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Okay.
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00:09:06,430 --> 00:09:12,770
If you are to study with John, then he
must come here so that I can keep my
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on you.
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Dad, oh my gosh, you treat me like a
baby. And you will forever be my baby.
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00:09:19,730 --> 00:09:25,530
And if you and that boy get into any
trouble, you will know what time it is.
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I know.
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Koboko time.
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That's right, Koboko time.
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Auntie, these are so pretty.
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What do you think?
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Oh, what should I do?
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I just want my little baby at home.
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Auntie, it's Louboutin. It's French, you
know.
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Here they are.
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Gorgeous!
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What is wrong with you?
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Sorry, but you can't try on anymore.
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Every week, I bring my shoes, and you
wear them, and you change the size.
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I can't sell them once they've been
worn.
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So, no buy.
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No try.
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Especially the Louboutin.
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Look here, lady.
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I have enough money to buy those shoes.
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Mrs. Shop Assistant, do your job and
assist me.
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00:10:23,930 --> 00:10:26,850
Okay, madam.
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What size would you like? Size 10, isn't
it?
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00:10:31,450 --> 00:10:32,450
What's wrong with you?
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00:10:32,570 --> 00:10:33,570
Can't you see?
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00:10:33,890 --> 00:10:37,550
Can't you see I've lost weight? I can
now squeeze into a size 8.
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Certainly. One moment.
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Auntie, are you seriously going to spend
all of Tony's money on a pair of shoes?
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How are you going to pay him back?
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Look, Sade, I am one step ahead of you.
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I will just clean them and return them.
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Auntie, you give me too much grace.
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Your new shoes, madam.
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00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:20,540
Bro, remember, all you've got to do is
pretend like we're studying.
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00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:23,560
And then we can go and work on our rap
tune.
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Mission is, keep my parents sweet.
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Brother, I've got that on lock. Yeah?
Cool.
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00:11:30,020 --> 00:11:32,060
But this is way overboard, man.
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I've got to change my look just to come
into your house, you know? Look, I know
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it's ridiculous, but it's the only way
we're going to get past my parents.
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00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:41,540
Take that thing off the head and zip up.
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00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:46,060
Hello. Mum,
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this is Sean. Hello, Mrs. Adebanjo.
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Mum, can I get up now?
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Yes.
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Okay, that was very good.
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00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:04,220
So, what are you boys studying today?
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Algebra Level 4.
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00:12:06,540 --> 00:12:08,100
Oh, it's very studious.
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00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:09,440
Good boy, Sean.
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00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,140
Well, work hard.
200
00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:15,000
And I'd like to see what you've done
when you finish.
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00:12:15,980 --> 00:12:19,800
We will... Bro,
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00:12:20,620 --> 00:12:23,560
that was easy.
203
00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:26,460
A whole year that I couldn't handle
growing up.
204
00:12:27,060 --> 00:12:29,540
But listen, why is your parents so
strict anyway?
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00:12:29,740 --> 00:12:32,080
They're just old -fashioned Nigerian
parents.
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00:12:32,740 --> 00:12:34,520
I never get away with nothing.
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00:12:34,980 --> 00:12:36,840
They're always watching me like a hawk.
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00:12:37,220 --> 00:12:39,440
They won't just let me be me, you know.
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00:12:39,660 --> 00:12:42,710
Bro? My mum can't tell me to do
anything.
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00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:47,350
I get to do whatever I want when I want.
Because I'm a gangster.
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00:12:48,650 --> 00:12:52,150
Wow. Hey, listen, mate. Are you ready
for this, though? What is it?
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00:12:53,910 --> 00:12:55,310
Gangster. Wow.
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00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:58,050
That must have really hurt.
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00:12:58,250 --> 00:12:59,250
Let me have a look.
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00:12:59,390 --> 00:13:01,650
Stop that, man. You can't touch the tat.
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00:13:01,910 --> 00:13:04,790
This is a special homage to my bro,
Tupac.
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00:13:05,050 --> 00:13:07,210
And all of my homies that have passed
away.
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00:13:08,510 --> 00:13:09,510
Sure.
219
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:10,920
You got any liquor?
220
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:14,180
It would right be in the work. As long
as it's a Cicapino.
221
00:13:16,460 --> 00:13:17,460
Yeah, man.
222
00:13:25,460 --> 00:13:27,480
Ooh, hey, listen to these beats, yeah?
223
00:13:27,780 --> 00:13:30,700
Look, I'm going to MC you over this.
Yeah. As long as you told me you were
224
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:33,560
to spit over this to me, yeah? Yeah,
cool, cool. Just call me Master T.
225
00:13:34,020 --> 00:13:35,260
I've got beats, fam.
226
00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:39,040
The only beats you get is from your dad,
bruv.
227
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:40,340
Yeah?
228
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:41,700
Let's check out a pro, though.
229
00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:43,040
Cool.
230
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:48,460
I'm a guy, yeah? Yeah. Fuck for life,
yeah? Yeah.
231
00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:49,960
I'm from the street, yeah? Yeah.
232
00:13:50,180 --> 00:13:54,480
I ain't no Nick, yeah? Yeah. You call me
Sean, a .k .a. Mr. Payne, yeah?
233
00:13:55,420 --> 00:13:57,200
Hey, it's not this. It's not this.
234
00:13:58,320 --> 00:13:59,320
Yeah.
235
00:13:59,780 --> 00:14:04,880
Yeah. My name is Toby, and I'm so cool,
my parents can't tell me to go to
236
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:07,340
school. Yeah, I'm a fighter, so don't
mess with me.
237
00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:08,600
Big man now.
238
00:14:09,050 --> 00:14:10,050
Master T!
239
00:14:13,450 --> 00:14:14,450
What's going on here?
240
00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:16,590
My parents can't tell me to go to
school?
241
00:14:16,830 --> 00:14:18,850
Is this the nonsense that you can't
study?
242
00:14:19,130 --> 00:14:23,030
No, Dad, we were just... We were just
making some rhymes to tell out, Pops.
243
00:14:23,310 --> 00:14:26,930
Pops? Who is your Pops? Do you even know
who your Pops is?
244
00:14:27,370 --> 00:14:28,810
Listen, old man.
245
00:14:29,070 --> 00:14:32,470
But you can't be talking to a T like
that. No, Sean, you need to practice.
246
00:14:32,770 --> 00:14:33,770
Old man.
247
00:14:33,910 --> 00:14:34,910
Amy, old man.
248
00:14:35,590 --> 00:14:36,590
To be...
249
00:14:36,700 --> 00:14:41,120
Tell your friend. Today, today, he will
see how gangster my Koboko is. I ain't
250
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:42,660
scared of you, man. I ain't scared of
you, bro.
251
00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:44,080
Okay.
252
00:14:44,420 --> 00:14:47,100
Today, today, I will put the fear of God
into you.
253
00:14:47,660 --> 00:14:48,980
Balance. Balance!
254
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:50,600
You won't believe this.
255
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:52,460
Meet MP Lola Rokosu.
256
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,060
Mom.
257
00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,040
Mom?
258
00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:00,600
What on earth is going on in here? And
what are you doing with my son?
259
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,140
This boy is your son?
260
00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:07,010
I was just showing him some home
training.
261
00:15:07,830 --> 00:15:10,830
Of course he's my son, and he's already
been home trained.
262
00:15:11,370 --> 00:15:13,590
Oluwasyan, why are you dressed like
that?
263
00:15:13,870 --> 00:15:15,310
And where are your glasses?
264
00:15:16,570 --> 00:15:18,790
Oluwasyan, I thought your name was Sean.
265
00:15:19,070 --> 00:15:20,150
That's the English pronunciation.
266
00:15:20,730 --> 00:15:25,370
What is Sean? Your name is Oluwasyan.
How many times do I have to tell you? Be
267
00:15:25,370 --> 00:15:26,370
proud of it.
268
00:15:27,630 --> 00:15:28,630
Oluwasyan?
269
00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:32,690
I'm sorry, but you're not pronouncing
your son's name correctly.
270
00:15:32,910 --> 00:15:37,450
Are you sure that you yourself, are you
a Nigerian? Of course I'm Nigerian. I
271
00:15:37,450 --> 00:15:39,050
bet I'm more Nigerian than you.
272
00:15:39,370 --> 00:15:40,450
Ah, than me?
273
00:15:41,330 --> 00:15:42,330
No,
274
00:15:45,670 --> 00:15:47,370
no, no, no, no. That's nonsense.
275
00:15:47,650 --> 00:15:48,650
You can't be more Nigerian than me.
276
00:15:48,910 --> 00:15:54,410
Well, I have three properties in V .I.
Lagos. I have a school. I have a
277
00:15:54,940 --> 00:16:01,000
And just because I'm born in London,
don't take me for a fool. I am a true
278
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,000
woman.
279
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:03,880
What do you have to share?
280
00:16:05,140 --> 00:16:07,940
Well, um... Excuse me, please. It's not
a competition.
281
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:09,720
Let's get back to the basics.
282
00:16:09,980 --> 00:16:12,040
The kids? Yes, yes. Let's get back to
the kids.
283
00:16:12,260 --> 00:16:15,860
This your son is talking about dog life
on the streets? Yeah, and pretending to
284
00:16:15,860 --> 00:16:18,520
be some gangster with his fog life
tattoo.
285
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:19,739
A tattoo?
286
00:16:19,740 --> 00:16:22,140
Are you crazy? No, no, no. It's a smoke
pen.
287
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,280
What kind of... Someone are you raising?
288
00:16:25,020 --> 00:16:29,640
Excuse me. I'll have you know I'm
raising a fine son who has actually won
289
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:33,000
scholarship for private school next
year. Yeah, well, tell her. Will you
290
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,080
your mouth and get in the car before I
slap you?
291
00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:36,480
Stupid behaviour.
292
00:16:37,420 --> 00:16:39,420
I'm sorry. It's just acting out.
293
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:41,300
In fact...
294
00:16:41,820 --> 00:16:45,280
The things I've been hearing about
Toby's grades. You should be lucky that
295
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:46,560
my son hang out around with yours.
296
00:16:46,860 --> 00:16:48,740
Lucky? I beg my sister, please.
297
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:53,900
Your wayward son is the lucky one. To
have the guidance of my well -behaved,
298
00:16:53,940 --> 00:16:57,360
hard -working, brilliant son. Okay,
okay, okay. Everybody, everybody, calm
299
00:16:57,420 --> 00:17:01,320
Calm down, calm down. Look, we all want
the best for our kids. Please.
300
00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:04,099
Yes, you are right.
301
00:17:04,859 --> 00:17:09,540
When he gets home, I'll make him write a
letter of apology for what he's done
302
00:17:09,540 --> 00:17:10,540
today.
303
00:17:10,629 --> 00:17:11,750
We'll appreciate that.
304
00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:13,710
I guess we just have to work together.
305
00:17:14,430 --> 00:17:18,650
You're right. We take all our time
making sure they do things right,
306
00:17:18,650 --> 00:17:22,410
them through the right education, yet
they want to go around making out
307
00:17:22,410 --> 00:17:24,150
something they're not to impress, right?
308
00:17:24,650 --> 00:17:31,010
I mean, in this day and age, there are
so many negative influences trying to
309
00:17:31,010 --> 00:17:32,010
corrupt our children.
310
00:17:32,270 --> 00:17:35,890
All we can do is train them and leave
the rest to God. Amen. Amen.
311
00:17:37,170 --> 00:17:38,270
Shut up.
312
00:17:40,170 --> 00:17:46,110
It was lovely meeting you. Ah, it was an
honor meeting you. Thank you. Keep up
313
00:17:46,110 --> 00:17:49,690
the good work. Thank you. We will
support you all the way.
314
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:51,209
Thank you.
315
00:17:51,210 --> 00:17:52,230
Ride on, counselor.
316
00:17:52,730 --> 00:17:55,710
Ride on. Ride on. Ride on. No sense in
ingredients.
317
00:17:55,910 --> 00:17:58,370
How can I support her when she can't
even bring up her own son?
318
00:17:59,110 --> 00:18:00,850
Talking about thug life.
319
00:18:01,150 --> 00:18:03,030
And then her, home in Nigeria.
320
00:18:03,770 --> 00:18:06,290
How many houses do you have? At least
she has some.
321
00:18:06,590 --> 00:18:08,430
What about you and your fake land in
Lekki?
322
00:18:08,710 --> 00:18:10,850
Gladdy, must you always be a messenger
of the past?
323
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:35,940
away from my shoes, my friend.
324
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:41,280
Do you know how hard I work to keep them
intact so I can return them tomorrow?
325
00:18:42,740 --> 00:18:46,560
Auntie, did you even wear them? That
looks like you did a really good job.
326
00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:47,860
Yes.
327
00:18:49,180 --> 00:18:54,100
All those bobos that came close to me at
the party, I just pushed them away.
328
00:18:54,980 --> 00:18:57,800
I don't want anybody to dirty my shoes
from you.
329
00:18:58,540 --> 00:19:00,480
They will sweet -talk you for one night.
330
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,720
And then later, you will pay the price.
331
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:05,360
No.
332
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:11,400
Aunty, I buy designer clothes all the
time and they never refund me.
333
00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:13,440
Are you sure this is going to work?
334
00:19:14,780 --> 00:19:15,780
Chadi.
335
00:19:16,260 --> 00:19:19,640
East Street Market does not have any
refund policy.
336
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:20,920
Full stop.
337
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,800
All those designer dresses I wear to
parties.
338
00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:25,960
How do you think I can afford them?
339
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:35,520
The food at the party was not correct.
340
00:19:35,740 --> 00:19:38,440
But auntie, that's my shoe.
341
00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:46,660
My shoe.
342
00:20:14,670 --> 00:20:15,910
Are you sure this is going to work?
343
00:20:16,230 --> 00:20:17,230
Trust me.
344
00:20:17,510 --> 00:20:19,450
I'm a professional. I know what I'm
doing.
345
00:20:24,170 --> 00:20:26,050
Hello, Funky. How are you?
346
00:20:26,890 --> 00:20:28,890
Would you like to buy some new shoes for
me today?
347
00:20:29,810 --> 00:20:31,390
I want to return these ones.
348
00:20:32,470 --> 00:20:33,470
What's wrong with them?
349
00:20:34,490 --> 00:20:37,130
Are you a sales girl or an interrogator?
350
00:20:37,490 --> 00:20:39,030
You said I can return them.
351
00:20:39,270 --> 00:20:41,550
Eh, give me my money back.
352
00:20:43,580 --> 00:20:45,000
Okay, I'll just have a look at them.
353
00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:49,520
They look fine.
354
00:20:57,060 --> 00:20:58,620
They smell a lot like stew.
355
00:21:01,140 --> 00:21:03,560
The only thing that is smelling is your
dust.
356
00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:06,420
It's very close to your mouth.
357
00:21:07,660 --> 00:21:09,140
Please, give me my money back.
358
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,620
Okay, I'll give you a refund if you give
me your receipt.
359
00:21:29,770 --> 00:21:31,190
I told you, I'm a professional.
360
00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:35,710
Is this paint?
361
00:21:37,570 --> 00:21:38,570
Professional, huh?
362
00:22:46,690 --> 00:22:48,090
Okay, okay, okay, everybody cut.
363
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:21,200
Yeah
27820
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