All language subtitles for meet_the_adebanjos_s01e07_tobis_tutor

Five Bs. Wow.

That's really good.

No, Toby's not back yet.

But with the result he's been getting
for the past few months, I expect

less than A's.

Don't worry.

I'll keep Brian in my prayers.

I'll talk to you later.

Bye -bye.

A's? A's?

My son will get nothing less than A
stars.

We need an A star to become a doctor
these days.

What do you mean, Doctor?

He will be a big money accountant.

Do you know how much fudges are in it?
Not as much as those big city boys.

Somebody has to be the moneymaker in the
family.

Where is he, anyway?

Ah, there he is. My boy.

Hi, Mum. Hi, Dad.

Hey, slow down, turbo engine.

And why are you sneaking in from the
back door?

Haven't you got something for us?

Oh, yes.

No.

Something from school?

Uh, no.

We didn't get our report card today. Ah.

So what's this?

Look at him being all modern.

City bank, here we come.

Yes, super sojourn. We're on our way.

Blood of Jesus.

Two Ds in mathematics.

Wisdom of Solomon.

An F in science.

Mother of Mary.

An F. F in English.

A golden frankincense and merrrr. A U in
French.

Hello. What about my C?

In P .E.

Clap for yourself.

My friends, I know pieces of yam that
can get better results than this.

I hope you're proud.

Hey, Mimi.

You see your son? Do you see your son?
If I had sent him to Nigeria, do you

think this would have happened?

So now it's my fault. Oh, no. I don't
want my son to go to Nigeria.

Oh, no. I don't want my son to catch
malaria, at least in hospital. He will

books. If not by choice, then by force.

Toby.

What have you got to say for yourself?

To be fair, Dad, I work hard. for that
D.

Gladdy, are my ears deceiving me? Did
you say you worked hard? Hard for a D?

You know, my teacher thinks I'm doing
all right. I actually got an A.

What effort.

All those teachers, they're useless.

I don't know why they refuse to beat
children in this country.

Because if anyone touches me, I'll just
call child line. Child line?

Child line?

Gladdy? Hold him down. I will show you
my own line today.

Do you know what time it is?

I said, do you know what time it is? Oh,
no.

Not Koboko time. That's right.

Koboko time.

Fetch me my Koboko.

Auntie, are you ready?

How does this sound?

Go ahead, go ahead.

Remember, this poem is a contemporary
abstraction of I Wondered Lonely

as a Cloud.

Okay.

Why don't you add some African flavour?

I wondered lonely as a cloud.

I haven't even started yet.

How long is this thing going to take,
Jo?

Aunty, focus.

This is really important. It's for the
big event that I was telling you about.

Eh?

Is it the Holy Ghost Festival of
Praises? Hallelujah!

Auntie, it's even bigger than that.

Oh, Sade, you have tickets.

You have tickets to La Bada. I'm coming
with you. I am coming with you. Auntie,

it's even bigger than that. It's only
the Spoken Word Contemporary Poetry

at Peckham Library.

So we spent money for him to go to
school.

Now we are spending money for him to
learn at home.

Unless you want him to be something
demeaning like a mini...

So, yes. Yes.

No.

No.

Ah, Gladdy. Gladdy, Gladdy, Gladdy. I
think I like this one.

He's been to a good school.

Very experienced.

Bono, he's even Ghanaian.

I don't think so. Why?

He graduated from a polytechnic
university.

All these fake organizations.

No good.

Gladdy, didn't you graduate from a
polytechnic? Can we just move on?

What about this one?

First class owner, former city banker,
and has just published his third book.

I like it.

He likes dogs.

I don't want no dog lover in this house.
Not after that dog poo -pooed in my

minicab.

This has got to be the one. He has
everything.

Ten years.

Professional tutor.

Uh -huh. Lives local.

Has a Ph .D. doctorate. What are you
waiting for?

Call his number. Quick, quick. Sharp,
sharp.

Fast, fast.

Lord of Jesus. Huh?

He's a devil worshiper. Huh? Burn it.
Remove it from this house. Okay, okay.

At least we have these good candidates.

Let's interview them tomorrow evening.

Huh? Tomorrow?

Uh -huh. Ah, potato.

You know, tomorrow there is a...

Premiership football?

So, why are you watching them making
millions?

Our son will end up working as a
minicabber. All right, all right.

is.

Why have I got to be here when you

interview the tutors?

Worst of all, why am I dressed like
this?

Are we picking the tutors for ourselves?

We all have to make a good impression.

But, Dad, we're missing the game.

Is football all you think about? You
need to focus on your studies.

But it's Arsenal v Man U. I know.

Quickly, let's check the results.

What is the meaning of all this? Toby,
what is the meaning of all this? I told

you already not to watch the football,
disobedient boy.

But, Dad, you said... Shut up!

Oh, that's the tutor.

Toby, quickly, hide my sweepers under
the sofa.

And turn off that TV.

Gladdy, remember, make sure you ask them
the toughest questions, you hear me?

The toughest questions. Sayo, please
don't overdo it. Overdo it?

Overdo it? The first job interview I
went for in this country was for a

job. They asked me, what degree have you
got? Me.

A whole banking degree holder from the
University of Lagos. What do you mean,

what degree have I got? Do I need a
degree for cleaning? Daddy, the toughest

questions, you hear me? The toughest!

Hi, I'm here for the tutoring job.

Ah, yes, hello.

Please, come in, come in.

Well, why do you think you're good for
the role?

Well, I have wonderful teaching
techniques, especially with mail.

Gladys, no need for these tough
questions. Let her speak.

Let her speak.

Let her speak.

Can you cut yourself?

On second thought, go to your room. Your
dad and I will continue from here.

What?

I mean, I thought you had a good set of
bread, bread, bread.

Credentials.

I believe in strict discipline.

And nothing but excellent. Fantastic.

Excellence is my middle name.

Can you start tomorrow?

Yes, of course. We just need to sort out
payment details. Ah, payment.

Just so you know, I only take bookings
in blocks of six paid in advance.

Yes, very good, very good.

The boy needs it.

Yes, the more the merrier.

Ah, economical too, only £100.

Policy. Policy!

So, why do you think you're good for the
road? Yes.

Well, I like teaching people.

Listen!

Do you have a toilet?

Does it have a window?

Yes.

Mr. Wu.

Why do you think you're good for the
role?

Not

a

single one.

Not even one. Not a fucking... Gladdy.

Gladdy. That was why I said you should
ask tough questions. Tough!

Look at you. When I was asking tough
questions to a homewrecker, you were

dribbling like a baby. But you have to
be fair now.

Why all the long faces?

We're looking for a tutor for Toby, but
we can't find anyone decent.

A tutor?

Why didn't you tell me? I have a tutor
friend from Oxford.

You? A friend?

From Oxford?

Yes, Bayo.

Not everyone is bush like you.

I'll have you know, I am known amongst
my peers as a woman of great

Distinction? The only thing distinct
about you is your body odor.

Body odor?

The smell from your foot is worse than a
dead rat. And your whole future... Hey!

Enough!

Please, just tell me about your tutor
friend.

Well, he studied in Oxford.

I can have him here this evening.

Thank you.

How on this God's green earth do you
have a friend from Oxford?

Don't you know Funke is connected?

You were writing that poetry crap?

Shut up. It's not crap.

The library award.

Maybe I can help.

You?

Why would I need your help? Your grades
are like fish.

What?

You know, below sea level.

Your jokes are so poor.

No wonder you're struggling with a dumb
poem.

I need to get something down on paper,
but it's just not happening.

I need to dig deeper.

I need to get in touch with my creative
side.

I have not.

I've got to go and get ready for the
stupid tutor.

Tutor? I thought your grades were good.

So you fell for it too?

You mean you changed your grades?

Trust me, there's a guy at school that
can hook you up.

Wasting money on a tutor for you, so
unfair.

When I want money to go shopping, get my
nails done and my hair did, it's...

Come on, Jo, we don't have money for
that.

But when it comes to their precious
Toby... Look.

I didn't even want tutor.

I thought my grades were alright, you
know.

I worked hard for that D in maths.

You obviously didn't work that hard.

Well, I don't like maths.

I'd much rather do other stuff.

Like me.

But what about me?

What about what I want?

What about my needs?

What about Toby?

Why are you getting so emotional?

Are you crying?

Nah. Nah, man.

I'm good. I'm okay.

Toby, can you get ready now?

Mum, I can't breathe.

It's too tight.

It doesn't matter, as long as you look
smart. Where are the tea and crumpets?

Since when did we start having crumpets?
Since we started getting visits from

Oxford professors.

Everyone, quick, sit down. We are the
Adebanjo family. Smile.

Please, please, come here, sir.

Welcome to the... I was wondering if you
can direct me to the whereabouts of a

Mr.

Adebanjo. Mr.

Adebanjo am I.

Are you here to read the meter?

Okay, please, hurry up, because I am
expecting an important visitor, and I

to make a good impression.

Oh, Greg, my precious friend. Oh, funky.
It's so jolly. Good to see you again.

Here, kiss.

High five.

Greg.

Well, I think you would find the name
you are looking for is a Mr. Gregory

Bartholomew. Alexander Richardson.

Damien Fitzgerald IV.

So, you studied at Oxford?

Why, of course.

Three years at Oxford Brook.

Right, Toby. We are going to commence
with some quite complicated equations.

Now, are you familiar with the term
trigonometry?

Dad, where did you get that ring from?

My mate's got exactly the same one.

Picked it up from Peckham Market, innit?

That's very interesting terminology.

You're not from around here, are you?
No, Toby, I don't reside from the area.

Now, shall we get cracking?

Right, Toby.

If we had seven carrots... I don't eat
carrots.

They make my teeth all orangey.

Jaffa cakes, on the other hand... Okay,
if we had seven jaffa cakes... Actually,

make it bourbon.

No, digestive.

No, custard cream.

Look, man, coming to take home with the
lesson.

So you're a fake, then.

Excuse me, I have absolutely no idea of
what you're talking about. Don't worry,

man, I won't tell.

Oh, well, in that case, I have just the
perfect solution to your mathematical

problem.

Just leave them to me.

Gladdy, tutors are not cheap. I need to
know my money's being well spent.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Are you insulting my
judgment?

Bayo, he is from Oxford. I'm sure he
knows what he's doing. Just let him get

with it.

Oxford Brooks.

Gladdy, are you ready?

Oh, yeah, let's go to the shop before he
closes.

Bayo. Huh?

Look at them.

Look at them.

Look at them.

Waste, waste, waste.

Do they know how much I'm paying for
electricity bill?

Water, gas, chemical, chemical.

And they just, they use it anyhow.

Look at that.

Nonsense and ingredients.

Dad, what are you doing?

What does it look like? Saving money, of
course. You think money grows on trees?

This is the only copy of my poem. I
haven't even saved it yet.

This took me...

Ages. What is the big deal? It's only a
poem.

For the Peckham Library Award.

Huh? Is that the award they give to
homeless, disadvantaged, jobless youths?

Dad.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. I tell you what.
Why don't we write a winning poem, huh?

I'm sure we can write one together.

When I was in JS5, I was head of poetry
class.

You can write poetry?

You don't know your father. You don't
know your father. I am a master poet.

A master lyricist.

How do you think I got your mother?

Fat thing, you have to help me.

Ah, okay.

Freestyle. Take note.

When I was in Nigeria,

I was a big man with a banking degree
from Unilad.

Then I came to this country looking for
work.

Instead, they offered me a job as a
local bank clerk.

Ah! What about me? What happened to what
I want? My hope, my ambition, my

frustration... Dad! Dad!

Why are you getting so emotional?

What is it with the men in this house?
It's a poem, not a life story.

Shadi, I don't know what came over me.

I don't quite feel like myself.

It's all right. I think I'll write the
poem by myself.

Okay.

Can you hear Ricky music?

All right, Toby, big up yourself, man.
Big up your mother, your brother, your

father and your sister, all right?

Yeah, man, this is how we're going to go
now.

And I'll pull the DQC doctor away.

A good ripe banana will help start your
day.

Orange, mango, and passion fruit can
give a mathematical head start, my

Addition, subtraction, and
multiplication are the elements that can

nation. This is how you're going to
learn, my son.

Cheese! You bring the cheese, and I'll
bring the bun. Yeah, man!

Eight banana times eight banana is... 64
banana?

Yeah, man. A 6 banana times 6 banana is?

36 banana. You like that, man?

10 banana times 10 banana is?

100 banana.

Yeah, man. Hey, banana.

Banana in my house? No, no, no, no.
There is no banana. My friend, I am

you to teach my son math lesson, not
music lesson.

Dad, he was teaching me.

You, Bob Marley, come.

I think you'll find the name is Gregory.

I don't care what your name is. What is
this you are teaching my son? Mr.

Adebongo, why the aggression?

Adebanjo, why can't you speak Queen's
English? Mr.

Adebingi, I can assure you my English is
the Queen's finest. My friend, what is

this you are teaching my son?

I am teaching Toby an alternative method
of education.

One that involves all aspects of popular
culture. My friend, what is your

success story? Who have you taught
before? I want to see your credential.

Show me your curriculum.

I want to see your credential.

Show me your curriculum vitae.

I think you would find it far more
easier on a tongue if you abbreviated

word to CV.

Sir, I have been conducting alternative
methods of education in the most

sophisticated way. So you are using my
own son as a guinea pig?

I don't take kindly to your aggressive
behavior, Mr. Adebongo.

Adebanjo!

I will tell you what I want to tell you!

How dare you!

You dare to shout at me?

In my own house?

Get out!

I've tried hard, but tell me. Music
makes him laugh. Can't you see that?

Take this, your guitar, and your banana
music, and get out. Get out!

The banana types of bananas.

Can I just please have five minutes?

I've been working on this poem for ages.
All I want is just five minutes. Shadi,

can you please get out of the way? This
is the constitution to party.

That's my boy.

He will become a doctor. He will become
a lawyer.

So now he's your son, eh? Of course,
Toby. Pops the Flemish.

You owe me an apology.

Wait,

Dad, you do?

So when's Greg coming back?

Don't worry, Toby.

Funky will get him back.

Wow, that was quick.

Ah,

Greg.

Greg -o.

I believe I've forgotten some of my
teaching materials.

Ah, yeah, you are just the man I wanted
to see.

Well, that's not what it seemed like
when you chucked me onto the porch.

It was a rather abrupt end to the
lesson. Well, that is only water under

dock, off the dock, inside the dock.

Water off a duck's back.

Exactly, exactly. We are practically
family now, you see.

Greg, I think Bayo's trying to tell you
something. I think I have said it

already. Oh, well, I must have missed
it. I would like to hear you say it.

What's he trying to say?

No, no, I would rather hear it from
Mr...

Add a banjo.

Yes, I'd just like to say that... Sorry,
must I spit it out?

Greg,

you are right.

Musical youth is the only thing that
gets through to the boy.

So we shall see you again, same time
next week, eh? Sharp, sharp.

Yes, but what about the payment, sir?

Wasn't it a try and run? What about the
bonuses for Toby? No, we will see you

next week. What about the fact that I've
made him into an A -grade student?

Don't worry. What about the fact that
he's a... Next week.

No problem.

We will see you next week.

Are you sure? Please, Gerald.

Will you promise me?

No problem.

Thank you.

Bye -bye.

Listen!

Shadi, what is this? I am going to
perform my new poem, which I've been

on for the past five days.

I touched the wind.

The wind touched me.

We are as one in perfect symmetry.

See me now.

I am taller than the tree.

You're actually there now.