Original subtitles

Disciplinary. Gladys, you see these people? Yes, Auntie Funke.

As if I should not talk.

They cannot hold my mouth.

Next time, I will tell it to my manager.

But did you have to tell his wife?

Dandruff is a disease.

I thought she could help.

Auntie Funke.

I hate this job.

All those nonsense people on Riling.

Look, I have another job waiting for me at the cabin office on Old Kent Road.

Four.

How are you?

Yes, it's me, Funky.

Kunle asked me to call you about the cabin vacancy.

Yes.

Splendid. Oh, yes, yes, I have experience.

Yes, I have knowledge.

Oh, charming.

Splendid. Oh, very flexible. I can start any time.

Yes.

Thank you. Thank you. God bless you. God bless your mother. God bless your

father and your uncle. Your nephew.

Your dog. Okay.

Okay.

Have a new job.

Every week you have a new job.

Don't jealous me.

Some people jealous me.

Some people jealous me.

All people jealous me because of my talent.

Auntie Funke, have you forgotten something?

What? You can't even drive.

Where are my slippers?

Toby,

fetch me my slippers, please.

Toby.

Toby, slippers.

Am

I

sitting over there?

Toby. Toby.

Dad.

Am I your mate?

My friend, get into that kitchen and bring me some water to sterilize my

Sharp, sharp. Fast, fast.

Toby? Pass remote control.

Dad, you're so lazy. It's right there.

Lazy?

Dad, I'm sorry.

Am I here deceiving me? I didn't mean it. It slipped out.

Me?

Lazy?

Your father?

The one who brought you into this world?

Please.

Me, lazy?

The man who has carried you for nine long months?

Did you?

Yes. No, I mean, whatever.

Me, lazy? A man who has put up with all of your stupidity? Do you know what time

it is?

Oh, no.

Not kaboko time. That's right.

Kaboko time.

Fetch me my kaboko.

Fetch me my kaboko.

Lazy. Stupid boy.

But why are you going to apply for a mini -cabin job when you know you can't

drive?

Of course I can drive.

All I need is practice.

Auntie Funke, driving at the fun fair, it doesn't count.

Besides, you don't even have a license.

Glad you.

Why are you talking like this?

I have an international license.

That expired five years ago.

Okay, okay.

The job does not pass until next week.

I just need to learn and do my test.

I need someone to teach me.

Daddy, when's the top of tea, Daddy?

Coming.

Straight up. Your legs straight up. Balance.

Balance. I'm sorry. I'm tired.

I'm tired.

You should have thought of that before you opened out your big mouth to call me

your father. Lazy.

Nonsense and ingredient.

And as for this, your counsel, you better just kiss it goodbye.

Goodbye.

Bayo, you're still punishing this boy. When this boy can open his mouth to call

me his father lazy.

Gladie, Potato, can you stir my tea?

Is your hand not working?

Mother, help me.

Toby, go to your room. I'll deal with you later. Shut up, you.

Okay,

Gladie. But as far as I am concerned, this consul has seen his last day in

house.

I hope you enjoyed your pandebian.

Is your tea very tasty?

Tasty? What is it? What do you want?

Can't I just ask a simple question?

Gladie, help! What does she want?

Bayo, you have to teach Auntie Fokke how to drive.

Woman, you don't want me to see my grandchildren.

You hear this insult?

It's for her new job.

Yes. Just one or two lessons so she can become a minikaba. Yes.

Mini cover? This one?

So it's not just my own life you want to endanger?

I'm sure when she gets it, she'll start paying rent.

Don't let us overrun ourselves.

Okay, okay, okay.

If you can promise me, you this non -paying lodger, that you'll start paying

rent, I will consider your application.

Gladys, you better pay up, otherwise there'll be wahala.

Potato. Mmm, potato.

Auntie Punke, don't worry. It won't

be a problem. You'll laugh.

Yeah, Auntie, don't worry. You'll pass with flying colors.

Auntie, flying colors? There's no way she's going to pass.

Remember when she crashed Uncle Tunde's car in Little's car park?

My friend, park in your lip.

I did not crash.

The accelerator, it was too close to the crotch.

It's clutch, not crotch. Even I know that.

So you're Einstein now.

Back home, I was very good driver.

There was no stopping, Funke. That's because there was no traffic line.

Or zebra crossing. Or traffic warden.

Go on laughing. When I'm driving in my macadam's bed, and I see you at the

bottom, I just pass you.

Auntie, it's Mercedes, not McCuddy's.

Come on.

Oh, come on.

Oh, that's your home.

You mean you are playing the console I confiscated? Look, Dad, I'm sorry. Look,

look, you this boy, you are really growing wings. You mean you had the

effrontery to enter into my room? But, Dad, it's just... Shut up!

I don't want to hear it.

Now, before I take my hand and land the biggest slap on your face, take this

nonsense console back into my room.

But, Dad... Toby, if I count to five, I'm getting the kaboko.

One, two... I've been running to win ten grand.

Huh? What did you say?

It's true.

It's an online competition.

Last level was this week.

I've just got to clear this round, and then I'm in the running to win 10 grand.

10 grand?

On this console?

That's my boy.

Why did you say so before?

Idiot. Oya, you better not be chatting rubbish.

Okay, Oya, sit down. No, move over.

Show me what to do.

Auntie, full care now.

Mum, this is taking forever. Auntie, hurry up.

Be patient now. I know it.

Repeat the question.

For the 15th time, a driver has had a few alcoholic

drinks. What advice do you give them?

A, take care when driving, or B, do not drive home.

It depends on what you mean by a few.

What drink they were drinking? Is it Guinness? Malt?

Chinap? Auntie Funke, did I write the book?

What kind of foolish test is this?

How do I know the answer if I do not know what type of drink it is? Auntie

Funke, multiple choice.

Multiple waiting. Look, Auntie Funke, you are wasting time. Just pick one of

answers.

B? Do you even know what B is?

Am I right?

Oh, wow, you're right. B, do not drive home.

Yes, you see me now.

Getting one out of ten correct is not good. You didn't even know what B was.

But is that not how it is?

Multiple choice.

You just can't choose that random.

Oh, calm down, calm down, calm down. Okay, ask me another question.

You are approaching a zebra crossing.

You see an elderly woman.

What? Eh?

I haven't even told you the choices yet.

No, forget the choices.

The answer is A, isn't it?

So A is your final answer?

Yes. I want to be a millionaire.

A is my final answer.

No, you're wrong. B, be prepared to stop.

Nonsense.

Supposing I was watching for a meeting, an important meeting.

Because of this old woman, I will now be late.

I agree.

The old people take forever to cross the road.

Auntie, it doesn't work like that.

We're not in Lagos, you know.

Let me tell you about driving.

If you can drive in Lagos, you can drive anywhere in the world.

Baba Sade, you know we have a driving lesson.

You promised me.

Gladly, we will do this later.

You know my test is tomorrow.

Where are you going?

I'm coming with you. I can't do the lesson.

What do you mean? I've lost my shoes.

Look, let me just get something from the kitchen. I will be with you in a

second. You don't need anything. How can I do the lesson? I have lost my car

keys. Keys.

Let's do it next week. We are going. Next month. We are going.

Next year. We are going.

Oh, yeah, let's go. Oh,

yeah, my head. I need some ice.

Dad, what happened?

Sayo, are you okay?

Look, look at my head. I can't keep talking. Just get me some ice.

I'm so sorry, my darling. I didn't realize teaching Auntie Funke would put

in so much danger.

What kind of teacher is this?

Auntie Funke, what have you done to my husband? You want to kill him? You

be banned from driving.

What did he tell you happened? Let me tell you what happened.

We had not even entered the car when this husband of yours tripped. and

his head on the lamppost.

I can't see straight.

I think I need to go to the optician and change my glasses.

I have never seen a man cry so much.

Nonsense.

Everybody thought I had a little girl with me.

Look, look, look. When you get your job, you have to pay me compensation for

this bodily harm.

Bayo, you're such a calamity.

Where is everybody going?

I'm in pain.

Toby.

I don't usually talk like this as much.

But I am so proud of you. I am so very proud of you.

For what, Dad?

The way you are using your initiative with this game competition to help the

family.

I don't discuss these sorts of matters with you much, but you know that we are

going through a bit of financial stress.

Dad, I think the whole world knows that we're broke.

The whole world?

Look, Dad.

I'll do anything to support the family. Very good.

But right now, I need your support.

Anything you want, my son. Name it.

Exactly.

You know those new Air Max trainers that I was talking about?

Those 100 -pound pieces of canvas? Toby, are you crazy?

But, Dad, don't you want me to be in the right frame of mind tonight?

So?

So.

Look in that direction.

Sharp, sharp. Fast, fast.

Son, I want nothing less

than victory.

You hear?

Say, yes, I can. Yes, I can. Yes, I can.

Yes, I can. Louder.

Yes, I can.

Louder. Yes, I can. Louder.

Yes, I can. Yes, we can.

Yes, we can.

Go get them, my son.

Can he go?

That's my boy.

No, I can't. Oh,

you needed motivation.

In the words of my idol, Oprah, if you believe it, you can do it.

Garden. This is not reality TV.

This is serious business.

I think I should cancel the test.

Are you all right? After you made me pay for it.

It's only money now.

After all, we are sisters.

There's no sisters in Pound, Talino.

Don't worry, just go.

They are going to pass.

How do you know that?

I have seen a vision.

Really?

Auntie Funke, I saw you driving.

You were driving along Peckham High Street. You were driving. Beep, beep,

along the road. You were driving. The wind was in your face. You were driving.

You were driving. Driving along Peckham High Street. If you were not supposed to

pass that test, you can't. Why did I see you driving the bus 36?

Bus 36?

Why didn't you see me driving a Bacardi's Benz?

Pay money for playing a game. Yes now trust me today is the day that Toby is

going to make all of us proud I have it all under control The last time you told

me that you lost everything gladi gladi. Will you always be a messenger of the

past? Some guys go 120 grand on a computer game. It's possible. You see

Shadi knows it's possible

I am practicing.

Sade, will you be quiet? He needs to concentrate.

Sade, why are you sitting there? Get your brother some water now.

Yesterday he was good for nothing, Toby.

Today he's totally doing it wrong.

Oh, oh, and Sade, get me a piece of chicken while you're at it.

Make sure it's a big piece. My son needs his nourishment.

Toby.

When is this game starting?

You know, my night job starts at 9 p .m. Dad, just loading up the online game

now. Waiting for MR Master X, my opponent.

MR Master X.

All the technological technology.

Mom, Dad.

Hmm? Is someone there?

What? How come I never get this sort of treatment from you guys?

When you start bringing me the money, you will get all the special treatment

the world.

Game's about to start, guys.

Turn the bridge.

Enter the cave.

Dad,

I didn't realize playing with you would be so much fun.

Maybe an old man, but I still have skills.

Better than you barking orders after me all the time. Oh, I don't bark orders,

son. It's called good old -fashioned African discipline.

Only because I love you.

Last level, guys.

Last level. We're almost there.

Toby, you have gone up on the family estimation.

Sade, you see your brother? That is the example you should follow him.

Oh, come on.

Yes! Hey!

Bayo is back.

Bayo cannot be held down.

I saw it in the vision I told you.

Oh, my God, Toby.

You're the best little brother anything I've done to you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Yes!

Toby, what does it mean, 10 ,000 pounds virtual money? Virtual money?

Shadi, I am not too clued up in all these technologies, but does virtual

mean it is not real?

Toby!

Give me those shoes back. I'm getting a refund.

Dad, I thought you said you love me. Love you, come. Love you, neat.

In fact, oh yeah, balance.

Balance! I thought you said it was real money.

Balance!

How could you believe he could win any money playing a computer game?

Check me out.

Check me out.

Thank you, Gladys, for your prayers.

I passed my test with flying colors. Really?

Are you sure?

I am now the proud owner of a UK driving license.

Auntie, how the heck?

to the examiner past year.

Funke, funke.

So take care now.

It was a pleasure.

Make sure you call me. I'll catch you.

It is not how you drive it.

It is how you shake it.