Original subtitles

Thank you.

I think somebody... What, requested it? Yeah, requested it, yeah. Hello.

I bet it was that sister of yours.

Yeah, it was as it happens.

I thought so. She's got a bloody cheek.

It's a nice song.

I'm talking about coming here dressed like that. Look at her.

I was told when I bought this it was an original creation.

Right.

Arthur said it was the only one of its kind.

Nice to see you.

Don't look now, but you can come soon.

Another. Where is Arthur?

The reason those watches appear

to be nine hours fast is because they were made in Yokohama.

Yokohama, Billy. It's in Japan.

Yeah, yeah, Billy, I'm fully conversable with the fact you are not in Yokohama.

You're in Bradford.

Yeah.

Hold on, hold on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The point is, Billy, if you were in Japan or Korea or even

parts of America, lumps of Canada, those watches would be spot on.

No, no, no, that won't make any difference. It doesn't matter which one

them on. The whole point of these watches is they are not adjustable.

You do that. Look, I must go now. The pips are going again and I'm running out

of smash.

Tell her.

Billy of Bradford is such a worrier.

Now, where was I?

Discussing my problem, Arthur. Oh, yeah, that's right.

Now, as I see it, these comedians are leaning on you. I'll bet they've even

offered you a little insurance policy.

Yeah, a fully comprehensive one.

It covers fire, burglary, vandalism and flash floods.

Flash floods?

They've got access to a second -hand fire engine.

Holy... Look, I'll send Terry over to see you. You fill him in with the

He'll have a little word with him.

Thanks, Arthur.

Also tell him I'd have looked after it myself.

But since my bypass, the doctors say I mustn't get excited.

Thanks a lot.

I think nothing of it.

We look after each other.

We're family.

So humiliating.

I feel like I'm in a South London formation dancing team.

That wasn't enough.

His own wife, bold as brass, comes in wearing one as well.

She didn't look exactly over the moon about it. Hello, love. All right.

She steamed straight into the... What, kitchen? Kitchen, yeah.

She hasn't come out since.

Time for you to have a word with Arthur.

He's holding court in the cloak.

Do you want me to come with you?

What, another clown story?

It's men only in there.

Let me choose them in a moment.

Arthur's busy right now.

Yeah, Brussels, 707175. That's right. Yeah, transfer charge.

Yeah. Brussels, eh?

Certainly expanded, Arthur.

Oh, yeah, I'm in Europe now, Wilf. We are no longer a nation of shopkeepers.

I discovered a window of opportunity, and I jumped straight through.

Oh, come on, Bert. Time for the speeches, is it? Not quite.

You'd like another to wet your whistle before you... Speak. Speak.

That's very thoughtful of you.

Hey, um... Doreen pleased with her dress, was she? Oh, yes.

She was a bit surprised it was so popular for an original... Creation.

Yeah, the originals are out to come by. I can't get enough of them.

I got my speech already.

It's good of you to do it for me, Arthur.

If I had to do it myself, we'd be here all... Night. Night. I think nothing of

it, Bert. You're family.

Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers.

No, any time, Bert. Anything you want done.

There is a little favour you could do us, Arthur.

Us? Dorian and I.

We're worried about Ray's becoming a problem.

Your boy Ray?

What's he been up to?

A little bit of this, a little bit of that.

He's mixing with a crowd that are a bit iffy.

Iffy? He's a good lad at heart, but he needs a bit of guidance.

Yeah, you want me to have a word with him.

Wheel him in.

Well, we'd like to do a bit more than that if you could, Arthur. We were

wondering if you could give him a job.

You mean regular work?

Yeah. He looks up to you. He always has, but we all do.

And he is family, Arthur.

Ah.

You're not stuttering?

Comes and goes.

With all these business expansions you've been doing recently, another pair

hands could be useful.

I have got the best pair of hands in London. They belong to Terry.

I don't want a job as a minder, Arthur.

He's useful, he can handle himself, but he's well educated.

No, there's more to him than thumping people. No disrespect to Terry, but he's

Ray's executive material.

We limit.

Say hello to Arthur, Ray.

Hello, Arthur.

Uncle Arthur.

French.

French, yeah.

I'll remember that if I want to elude a 17th chair's mate.

What do you want to do with your life, Ray?

I don't want to spend it nicking car radios like most of me, mate.

I want to get into tie -wearing activities, be a captain of industry

Uncle Arthur.

Major, Ray, major.

Right, I mean, people look up to you.

I mean, they respect you.

People don't take liberties with you, do they, Uncle?

Only once, Ray, only once.

I run a tightly -knit team.

I don't think I have room for a new lad at the moment.

Yes, sir.

Thanks, Arthur.

If you can do anything, we'd appreciate it.

Hello? Yeah.

Au revoir, Pierre.

How's things?

But you left London yesterday.

I thought I'd report to you this morning.

Right, well, look, I'll get Terry over there tomorrow.

Listen, I think I've got a firm order for that Mercedes 190.

Yeah. Right.

Leave it with me.

Ta -ra.

Problems? Well, go and get the lad back in here, will you?

Can you drive?

Yeah. I need someone to keep an eye on the lock -up, do a bit of running

Report to my North London headquarters nine sharp tomorrow morning.

And get yourself a proper shirt.

Right, come on, let's get these speeches done.

The restaurant's lovely.

Thank you.

Hey, hey, hold on. Where's her indoors?

She's in the kitchen.

She said she's not coming out because you've humiliated her.

What?

Well, I think it's because I look better in mine than she does in hers.

Listen, I'm going to make a speech.

Yeah, well, she says she's been listening to you rehearsing that all

she doesn't think it'll improve even with seven pianos.

Bradbury's got a walkabout in Brussels.

Failed to turn up at Pierre's showroom.

You'll have to wait out there.

When you come back, I've got this nephew I've been lumbered with.

Oh, no.

I've been turned over.

Raymond.

Raymond.

I do not expect this sort of behaviour from family.

You do not break into my lock -up so that you can give some old scrubber a

to. Ray, I told your mum and dad I'd keep an eye on you. Arthur. And what do

find? First morning on the job?

You're on the job.

This is not the North London branch of a permissive society, you know. Get rid

of this woman. I've got work to do.

Johnny's gone missing in Brussels and Terry's vanished in London. But I'm...

Leave it to me.

Firstly, Arthur Daly, I'm neither old nor a scrubber.

Your young assistant found me outside waiting for you. I got some grit in my

and he very kindly broke in so I could bane it.

That's what we were doing when you burst in here like an ageing Nick Faldo.

Yes, well...

As you probably gathered, I've got problems with one or two staff I've got

attend to. So perhaps you'd like to write in and make an appointment.

Your staff problems, as you put it, is what I've come to see you about.

Your tightly -knit team has left you.

Terry McCann and Johnny Bradbury have gone independent.

What do you know about Terry?

I'm his mother -in -law.

Dave? Dave?

You're not going to believe this. After all I've done for him, after all the

sacrifices I've made, do you know what he's done?

He's gone bent. Gone bloody bent.

He's got married.

Married. And if that's not enough, he's gone into business with Johnny Bradbury.

You knew about this, didn't you?

You were expecting me, even.

What is this, National Judas Week?

I blame you for this, Dave.

What was it said? Give Terry a fortnight off. With pay, you said.

The boy looks peaky, you said.

I bet you knew just what he was up to.

Yeah, well, he did mention it, Arthur.

You knew?

How could you, Dave? How could you?

We're partners in this club.

Whatever happened to the bonds of trust that bind comrades against adversity?

I've partnered, plotted them with my mind up. Yeah, now, that reminds me,

Arthur. Can you see your way clear to putting in the 25 % of what you have?

now, Dave, not now. I'm grappling with major aggravation.

There's no time to talk about money.

All right, right, if you knew about it, you must know where he is.

Yeah, yeah, well, he did leave me an address, you know, in case any letters

for him.

I did promise not to give it to you.

Dave, I am not in the habit of communicating with my staff by letter.

please stop prevaricating and tell me where he is?

No, I'm sorry. Mr.

Daly's not here at present.

Terry? No, my name's Ray.

Terry doesn't work here no more.

Terry, it's your friend Arthur.

Come on, open up. Let's have a talk.

Oh, come on, Terry.

Surely I'm worth more than this.

If you've got a problem, we can sort it out. We always have done.

Here, I've got something for you.

Some back wages.

There you are, Terry. 40 reddies on the map.

Terry, Terry, how could you? How could you live in somewhere so nouveau gauche?

You calling nouveau gauche?

I want to talk to Terry.

I demand a right to talk to him.

You're going to have to shout.

I've been doing that. Where is he? Round the back?

Australia. Australia?

That's where I wrote to you.

They suddenly found there was a flight available.

There wasn't time to talk to you.

You were in South London at a wedding. He didn't know where.

Here? Do you realise I've just dropped 40 quid on your mat?

I don't normally take money from strange men.

In your case, I'll make an exception.

Now, piss off.

Right, right, right.

What you doing here, lad?

I left you at the lock -up.

It's all right, Uncle. I locked it all up before we come over here.

We? I've had a lot of phone calls for you.

Well, didn't they all ask for Terry? But I told them that he didn't work for you

no more.

Some of your customers must be a bit deaf.

I had to repeat that bit quite a few times.

Well, then Mr Maxim and Mr O'Shea turned up to collect their cars, and while I

was searching for the keys, Tony turns up to collect that dozen video

Oh.

Are you all right, Uncle?

Looked like you'd been overdoing it a bit.

The amount of business you've done this morning, I'm not surprised you need more

staff. Well, anyway, don't worry. Mr Maxim and Mr O'Shea, they've got their

French deep to drive over here.

They took their cars and gave me a tenner for me trouble.

Not a bad start on me first, eh?

I do not know any Mr Maxon or O'Shea, and I've not sold them any cars.

Also, I do not know anyone called Tony who's bought a dozen video recorders.

Rats coming out of the woodwork.

Now, sooner as word got round the manor, courtesy of you, that I am without a

minder, than the vermin come out and steal my hard -earned cheese.

Never mind, you've got me.

If it wasn't for the fact that this little lot's going to come out of your

wages, I'd fire you on the spot.

But as it is, by my calculation, you'll spend the next ten years paying off that

debt. You've only been with me half a day and I'm down two cars and a dozen

videos. I'm sorry, Uncle. Is there anything I can do to help?

You said you can drive.

Yeah, Uncle.

Stop calling me Uncle!

You keep reminding me of your family and at the moment I find that intensely

depressing.

All right, I've got a job for you.

the street.

Last time something like this happened, three wise men on camels came out of the

east. I'd hate to miss them.

Very droll, Mr Morley, very droll. Be fair, Daly, you must admit it's not

day of the week you come to us for help.

I'm not going to make a pernicious habit of it either.

Look, all I want is my goods returned without any undue fuss.

Look, there's an unconfirmed rumour flying round this manor that police

investigate crime.

I've enjoyed myself that much. I can't even take offence to that remark.

What are you making me park?

First time I ever heard of Mr Daly giving his goods away.

I didn't give them away. My lad was conned. It was a blatant case of

fraud. You being a world authority on this subject, I'd like to take your word

for it.

Why don't you face the facts, Daly? Look, what I'm facing is the loss of two

cars and a dozen video recorders. Right, and last week, if that had happened,

what would you have done?

I certainly wouldn't have wasted time coming in here.

You'd have sent Terry round to sort it out, wouldn't you? Precisely. Now, there

isn't any Terry, is there?

That's why that young lad of yours could be conned.

It's the best news I've had in years.

Face it, Daly, you're all washed up.

Why don't you buy a retirement home in Essex, like all the other geriatric

villains do?

May I remind you, you're talking to one of your employers. I pay your wages.

Of course you do.

It's one of life's little ironies, isn't it?

You've been paying me for years to harass you, to investigate you.

And one day to nick you.

Well, before you fit me up, why don't you add us and investigate those people

who are driving round in my cars and playing my videos?

I've got all the details, Mr Daly, and if we discover anything, we'll be in

touch.

Morning, yeah?

Daly?

Yeah, he's with me now.

Yeah, I'll tell him.

You've got some good news for me.

You are having a bad day, aren't you?

Hello, Uncle.

I told you not to call me Uncle. It gives me headache.

I thought you told me you could drive.

I can. I just ain't got a licence.

Don't say a dickie.

Did you tell them you haven't got a licence?

What did you say, you lost it or something?

Right.

While you're here, don't say nothing to nobody.

Particularly don't say nothing to Detective Sergeant Morley or his oppo,

Understand?

You deliver the dresses to Morley, all right?

Yeah. Do you get paid?

Yeah. Oh, thank God for that.

What's that?

A cheque? A bloody Gregory?

Don't you realise why he's called Bouncing Morley?

Oh.

I wish your parents had gone in for goldfish instead of children.

Then when they got tired of them, they could have flushed them down the loo.

They said what? They offered me protection.

They said you was finished.

They said they'd look after me. And this was Ginger Bly? That's right.

He's taking diabolical liberties. Arthur, when we became partners in this

the last thing I thought there'd be problems with was a minder. Yeah, I

Dave, I know. I've already tried three possible replacements. Two of them are

inside, and one of them's taken up market gardening.

But look, don't worry, leave it with me. I'll sort out something. You'd better

add. Yeah, all right.

Oh, Arthur. What?

Geezer left this for you.

Oh, yeah, tough.

Arthur.

Arthur, I gave him 100 quid for that.

This is an international driving licence.

Well, of course it is.

He took his test in Karachi.

You quite clear about how to get to Pierre's showroom in Brussels?

No problem. I'll take a taxi from the airport.

Taxi? Airport?

Taxi? Ray, you get a bus from here, a train from Victoria, a boat from Dover,

and another train from Ostend.

With you away for a couple of days and not distracting me, I might be able to

find myself another minder.

You've got me, Arthur.

Why do you need someone else?

I need a man, Ray, not a boy.

Now keep your nose clean and your mouth shut in Brussels.

I'll meet you off the ferry when you get back.

There is no need to, Arthur.

Look, I'm only sending you because there's no one else.

Your track record so far, it wouldn't surprise me if you'd come off that ferry

in chains.

You won't find my two cars and twelve videos in there.

This is very tasty, Daly. All my cars are tasty, Mr Morley.

Haven't you heard?

I'm into Europe.

Yeah, we did, that you offer the biggest discounts in London.

DS thought we'd check it out.

Discounts against the law now, are they? Not at all, Arthur.

I entirely approve.

What discount can you offer me on this car?

Do me a favour, Mr Morley. You want to buy a car, go into your main dealer.

Are you turning away customers, then?

No. Yes.

What are people going to think they see me doing business with a police officer?

I'm in the market for one of these.

What's the best discount you can give me?

Cash.

Cash?

Cash.

I can get you a new one of these, taxed for six months, on the road, £1 ,000

under list price.

Can you now?

You won't find a better offer in London.

I know.

Please check.

How soon can you get me a new one over from Brussels?

In what?

I've got to have one on the lot for you in...

48 hours.

My God, Dale, it's more to you than meets the eye.

That's been said once or twice before.

Well, do you want me to put the wheels in motion?

Oh, no commitment.

You test drive it with Park and make up your own mind.

Right.

Get one over.

Something more coffee, Ray?

Nothing, I'm fine.

Dans le coffre.

D 'accord.

Vous parlez français, Monsieur Dely?

Come again?

Forgive me. I was wondering if you spoke French.

I know most of the words to a vivre of Spaniard, if that's any use.

There.

The paperwork is now complete.

Guys, outside.

Oh, yeah, right.

This sauce has no bite anymore.

When I was a lad, you could clean pennies with this stuff.

Bloody Europeans.

Well, I'm glad to see you were able to get back without being arrested.

At least I've got Sonic, right?

After I'm not as wet behind the ears as you think I am.

Even so, I've still got a vacancy I can't fill.

I know we're not members, Dave.

But surely you can serve your business partners.

One drink, then, and after that, on your bike.

That's not very friendly, Dave.

Well, let's have a quick one, then we'll take this over to the car lot.

You're not going to leave it on the car lot?

Yeah, of course.

Well, go on, then. I'll wait with the car while you're having a drink.

Something's off. It's all alarmed. Nobody'll nick it.

Come on.

Oh, sorry, Kev.

Bit past our bedtime, isn't it, Ginger?

Hey, Darby's yesterday's man.

Oh, for Daly.

Didn't think you'd have the fun to show up here.

Not while I'm busy selling Dave insurance.

We don't need any insurance for this club.

Don't worry, Dave.

Terry's on the way.

Nice try, Daly.

What's he coming by?

Qantas Jet?

He's going to have to be pretty nippy coming all the way from Sydney.

Oh, you've had a run of bad luck, Daly.

That Taylor's dummy with you has been giving cars and videos away, hasn't he?

I might have guessed scum like you were behind that.

Five hundred a week, Dave.

You and this old aged pensioner can afford that.

I can guarantee you this type of aggravation will cease.

Right.

I don't think you've met my new minder, have you?

Ray Daly.

His family.

Before you leave, a word in your shell, Knight.

I want those cars back on the lot and those videos in the lock -up, nine sharp

tomorrow morning.

Otherwise, Ray will call the collector.

Understood? And never, never...

Take liberties with me here, Gary.

All right.

Ray, if you could avoid smashing the furniture when you're working, I'd be

grateful, because I own 25 % of this place.

Right, Dave.

Usual for me.

And what are you going to have, Ray?

I'll have a St. Clement's, please, Arthur.

Well, let's see. Two hours since that little altercation at the Winchester.

Should be time enough, right?

Come on.

Such a terrible misunderstanding.

I went after Raymond with the cash, but he'd gone.

No, he's like that, Morrie. Here one minute, gone the next.

You never know where he's going to turn up. Such a versatile young man.

Yeah, versatility is his speciality.

Now, it's all there, Arthur.

Please, feel free to check it.

I'd like my key personnel to be near at hand.

I've had a word with your dad, and he's OK with it.

You can have this flat.

Oh, thanks, Arthur.

Thanks a lot.

When I say have, I'm using it as a figure of speech, you understand.

It'll come out of your wages.

Yeah, I'll be meaning to have a word with you about that, Arthur. What wages

I going to get?

We'll discuss that when I get my cars and my videos back.

What's the matter with your generation?

You're obsessed with money and sex.

Don't you ever think of anything else?

Yeah, rock and roll.

Here, can I decorate?

Yeah. At your own expense.

And there's a car on the lot you can use when you've got a valid British

licence.

That reminds me, you owe me 100 quid for that Pakistani one.

I'll take that out of your wages, too.

Well, Dave, I think I can safely say that once more I have single -handedly

overcome my adversities.

It looks like it, Arthur. All the problems posed by my former staff

the land of the whinging pond have been solved.

Now, Dave.

As a shareholder. As a minority shareholder, rather.

May I make one or two observations?

May I make one? What about your share in the investment?

Dave, I'd love to. I really would.

But, unfortunately,

the bulk of my capital is tied up in foreign investment. Yeah, I thought it

might be. Dave, I've been having one or two thoughts about increasing turnover

in this place. Really?

Creme de menthe. Start serving it now. It's going to be the drink of the 90s.

Mark my words. I will.

Frappe, of course.

And look, we need to have one of them eat -in -cookery sections, you know,

a lot of French bread, bagels, all that.

Stick some doppelgangers in them. You know, those things the Germans always

shove in down their throats. Lob a bit of tomato sauce on it, you can knock

out two quid a throat.

Winchester Club.

Oh, hello.

Yes, yes, he is.

Right. Right, I'll tell him.

Friendly yours, Arthur.

Detective Sergeant Morley. He wants to work with you down your car lot. Good.

Don't forget those doppelgangers.

What the hell are doppelgangers?

48 hours, that's what you said. I know, but why can't you wait till Anton gets

here and does the road test?

He's due here any time now.

Don't be silly, Daly.

I've got the cash in me pocket.

But first I want to take it out for a spin. I don't need some Frenchman to

me it didn't work in order. All right.

But drive carefully.

It must be rectified.

What you have done is illegal.

Come on, Pierre. All I've done is sold a car. That's my game, isn't it? There's

nothing bent about that.

There is, to borrow your praise, something very bent about it.

Are you saying there's something hooky about these cars I've been buying from

you?

As part of

common market regulations, they must be road tested by the selling agent, which

is me, before being sold on. But there's no harm done.

The customer's happy, I'm happy.

Sanferio. I'm not happy. I am very unhappy.

I don't know why. You've been paid. I've been paid. Detective Sergeant Morley's

as happy as a pig in porridge. That car must be brought back to your car lot so

that Anton can road test it.

And what if it isn't? You will get no more cars from me.

You have my hotel number?

Call me when you get the car back.

Every day that your policeman friend is driving it, we are breaking the law. I

can't risk being closed down because of your greed.

Yes, greed.

Do you want to know what I think, then? Not desperately, Mr Morley. I just want

to be law -abiding. And as a police officer, you should be supporting me in

ambition. I think you're up to something. You've got some mugging line

more than I do. Do you want to switch it for a lemon?

Lemon? Look, I'm a car dealer, Mr Morley, not a greengrocer.

It's EEC regulations. When you told me that, I phoned up and checked it out.

And? It's a load of toffee. Who said? The Minister of Transport. Oh, well,

don't know anything about cars, do they? No, but they do know about regulations.

Look, it won't take long. Pierre just wants to make sure everything's all

The brakes work.

The lights work.

The horn works. The windscreen wipers work.

I realise this must come as one hell of a shock to you, Daly, after all these

years of selling lemons.

You have finally sold a car that is in perfect working order.

You go on like that.

Not with me, Arthur?

No, nothing.

What's up?

Oh, just a little problem I've been having with Pierre.

Tell me about it.

I have nothing you can do about it, Ray.

Thanks all the same.

Is it to do with the wheels I brought home from Brussels?

Yeah.

Pierre always insists on them being road tested as soon as they get over here.

Bloody Morley refuses.

So Pierre's got the dead needle. He says no road test, no more discounted cars.

Can you believe it?

Are you saying that you don't know what Pierre's up to?

I need to talk to you somewhere private.

What, is this private?

No, outside.

I don't want me old man hearing what I have to say to you.

Dad, I won't be a minute. Arthur and I have got something to sort out.

Right.

Look, unless Bert's got earring like the bat, this should do. What do you want

to tell me, Arthur?

Are you telling me that you and Pierre are not working this scam together?

What, you mean the cars?

I mean what gets carried across from Brussels that's hidden in them.

I don't know what you're talking about, son.

Well, whatever it is, I thought you was in on it.

That's the only reason I bought the car back.

I thought if Arthur's moving gear, then it's up to him.

Gear? What gear?

While I was waiting for Pierre to do the paperwork, he had a phone call.

These on the other end sounded anxious, double anxious. What about?

A bachelor motor.

It was obviously someone who was in on the racket with Pierre.

Racket? What are you talking about?

Pierre said to whoever it was that there was no need to worry, that you'd sent

another driver over. He told him that they would follow the usual procedure

that he would send Anton over here. That it was worth a hundred grand.

A hundred grand?

What are they smuggling in my cars? Gold bars?

I don't know.

But my guess would be dope.

Dope? Yeah, probably cannabis.

I mean, Brussels is one of the centres for moving here.

You seem very well informed.

I read the right newspapers.

Doesn't mean because you think I wear funny shirts that I'm totally green,

Arthur. I mean, all that pep talk you give me before I went out there.

Keep your mouth shut. Don't get yourself arrested on a ferry.

I thought you was in on it.

Are you telling me that that bloody Brussels sprout has been using my

to smuggle cannabis into England?

It's only a guess.

I had a good look over the car on the ferry, but I couldn't see anything. And

course they have to be road tested by him when they get here, don't they?

That's when he's been lifting the stuff.

He's had me for a right mug, Ray.

No wonder the cars were so cheap. He could have fought to give them away.

Right. This is out of order, Ray. Well, uh...

Detective Sergeant Morley is driving around in that car with a hundred

worth of drugs somewhere in it.

Ray, this is what we're going to do.

Whatever he's got hidden in it, Arthur, it's well hidden.

I mean, we've been all over it. Yeah, perhaps you made a mistake, Ray.

Perhaps you misheard.

No, Arthur, there's nothing wrong with my French.

Oh, come on, let's go and sort out Pierre and his tame gorilla. No, no,

Ray. I have a feeling they don't recognise the Marquis of Queensbury

even your version.

No, come on, let's get this car back before Morley discovers it's not there.

Go on, put it together again.

Have you told the yard?

Yes, Sarge.

Told all our own patrols?

Yes, Sarge. What if I get permission to throw out some roadblocks over West

London? It's only a stolen car, Sarge. We're not looking for the crown jewels.

My crown jewels. Park is my crown jewels. I've had my way of calling the

There it is! There it is!

Where?

Don't worry, Raymond.

Do it, bitch! Get out the bloody way!

Hello, Somali. Out for a drive?

Hey, hey, hey, mind the thread. Did you see us?

Did you hear us? Oh, sorry, I was listening to the radio.

Did you want to get by?

He's gone on his floor. I've got to tell you, for illegal parking.

It's been seen, Sarge.

Right, Mr Morley.

What are you doing here?

Just passing, just passing.

Less than an hour ago, that motor was nicked from right outside this house.

My house.

No. You must have imagined it. Sitting there as good as gold.

You've been overdoing it.

You should take a break, Mr Morley.

Have a motoring holiday.

No, my son.

Wherever you've got to.

Keep your eyes on the road, Arthur, and keep going. Just keep going.

Arthur, I accept that you have attempted to persuade that man Morley.

I only stress you must try harder.

Much harder. My business is on the line. So is yours.

Pierre, just bring the car back.

And it's, how do you say?

In the back.

I am relying on you, Arthur.

Both.

Underneath, I am relying on you.

I know what you're looking so happy about.

I reckon that Anton was measuring me up for concrete trainers.

Don La Poche. Oh, no, no, keep it English, please, Ray.

No, that's what he said on the phone in Brussels, in the bag.

Then he corrected himself, made a joke of it and said, of course, in the boob.

Well, we looked there. There was nothing. Just a spare wheel.

The spare wheel.

God, how obvious.

Simple. All they do on these road tests, they switch the wheel for an ordinary

one. We've got to get Morley's car again.

Either nick it or the wheel so that we can check it.

Yeah, well... How are we going to do that?

He'll be prepared after the last time. He's probably got security guards

standing over the thing.

I think I know a place where we can get at it.

But first we've got to pick up another wheel so we can switch them.

I think you'd better come with me, sunshine.

You see, Mr Morley, it's all part of my unique after -sales service.

We were worried about the tread on the spare.

I mean, it should be brand new, of course.

But I don't mind telling you, I've had one or two dodgy moments with these

imports. And you will not believe this, but some people actually put a really

old knackered spare in the...

Knife.

Hammer.

Here, I must point out any willful damage nullifies the warranty.

A ton of this.

This is probably the happiest day of my life.

You two are going to be put away.

Not for a year or two, but forever.

Before you do anything hasty, I would like to say something. Oh, of course you

would.

Stop me if I go too fast for you, Mr Park.

All I wish to point out is...

that when you discovered the cannabis resin, you were the legal owner of the

and all its contents.

Only because you sold me that bloody thing, Daly.

You won't get away with anything by pulling that stroke. Mr Morley, give me

chance. Although it goes against the grain, I'm trying to help you.

It obviously hasn't occurred to you that someone sold it to me.

And in Brussels was so insistent on giving it a road test.

You ought to go on mastermind. Ray.

Look, he doesn't move drugs and I've never touched them. Blimey, I hardly

touch alcohol. Ray.

Look, Mr Morley, although it's dead against my philosophy to assist the

with their inquiries, in this case, I'm prepared to make an exception.

You won't keep it long for you, will you?

The owner is like a little boy with a new toy.

I promised him you'd bring it back within the hour.

No problem, Arthur.

It's in the bag.

Right.

Those doppelgangers moving all right, Dave?

Oh, the bangers, yes. Very nicely.

No, son, you see, there are nice little earners and nasty big earners.

I run a clean business.

No drugs.

Let's have another one, Dave.

Right. I'm a traditionalist.

A large one.

Right. No drugs.

Just nicotine and alcohol.

Absolutely. I mean, you've got to have some standards, don't you?

All nicely thrown up, Arthur. I'm very grateful for your help. I'd like to buy

you a drink.

Oh, thanks. I'll have a St Clement's.

Mr Morley, if you really are grateful, I'll be obliged if you keep my

involvement strictly between ourselves.

And I mean strictly.

As you like. Just means I'll have to take all the credit myself.

What a terrible burden.

So, what about a drink, then? No, no, no.

Out of the question.

I have to be very careful who I'm seen drinking with.

I have a reputation to think of.