Original subtitles

Love you like you want me to.

Now, what we have here, Terry, is a pair of stained urns in pristine condition.

I think it said pristine.

Pristine, that's what you call those motors you try and knock out, isn't it?

There is pristine and pristine.

There most certainly is.

Late 18th century, estimated sale price £750.

£750?

Well, you can get them in washable plastic for three gallons of four -star.

You are unlikely to find washable plastic being offered for sale in the

auction rooms.

What exactly are you hoping to find here? Nothing in particular.

This is just a speculative foray into the marketplace.

Oh, a foray, is it?

Your modern entrepreneur does not sit idly by manicuring his pinkies. He's

constantly feeling the pulse of public fashion and taste, anticipating

demand, gazing into the crystal ball of opportunity.

And what do your crystal balls tell you about that, then, eh?

You're going to be a big ruff on firewood.

No, Terry, that is...

That is an Indian, ebony and porcupine quill workbox.

19th century.

Described as distress.

Distress? That's a term they use in the auctioneering world.

Loosely translated as knackered.

As with most things in this life, Terry, he's in the eye of the beholder. One

man's firewood is another man's porcupine wasps.

Terry! Oh, thank God. I remembered you saying he was going to be here.

It's David Winchester. He said he's in urgent need of your help.

Well, what's the problem? I don't know. He just asked me to find you as quick as

I could.

I'd better get you a phone.

What an amazing collection of crap.

Another Philistine.

Where? Where? Justin, look.

Take that lamp. That is late Victorian.

Yeah? I'd say it was early Woolworths. Look, ain't even got a plug on it. Put

down. Put it down.

Dave? Yes, Terry.

Justin said you needed me.

Oh, yeah, thanks for calling.

I hope I haven't caught you in a bad moment. Are you busy?

No, not really, no. You see, Arthur very kindly has brought me to the place

where all the things that Oxfam rejects come to die.

That's nice for you.

Look, Joe, I've got a real problem. I don't know who else to talk to.

Well, what is it?

Well, I don't want to talk about it on the dog, but could you get over here in

the next half hour?

Well, whatever you're after, looks like you're into some competition.

Must be a big demand, the crap.

A businessman, Justine, has to be like a Boy Scout.

Wait here.

I think that's disgraceful. I've come halfway across London. Now I've got to

come back next week.

That's disgraceful, isn't it?

Absolutely outrageous.

Dave?

So, where's the fire? There you go.

It's a bit early, isn't it?

At least I can do. Thanks for coming so quick.

What's the trouble?

Look, Dale, I have been very badly let down.

Arthur? Sam.

Sam Rutherford.

And my relief?

Well, don't you remember? I did tell you.

Annual outing, licensed pitchers.

Oh, yeah, that's right. You're not supposed to be here today.

Coach Tripper Folkestone or something, innit? Right. Only for me it ain't.

My relief, Sam Rutherford, he's gone down with flu.

So I was wondering, tell, if... Hold on, hold on.

Do you mean to tell me you dragged me half the way across London just to

me? Who else can I ask, then?

The wife's on holiday.

And as for letting any other member loose behind this bar...

That'd be like letting a sex maniac loose on a brothel with a gold credit

Look, Joe, I'm desperate for this day off.

I don't know.

Is it legal?

Of course it is. I wouldn't drop you in it, would I?

Look, Joe, you know where everything is. You know the prices.

There's a float in the till.

It's only for today.

Forty sods in your hand, plus a souvenir from folks. Now, what do you say?

Make it a stick of rock.

You're a real mate, Joe.

Hello. I'll pick up the keys from your place first thing tomorrow morning.

And don't forget the Winchester Club's three golden rules.

Namely, no drunks, no singing, and no credit.

Cheers.

Now, come along, gentlemen. I see more people in the phone box I see before me

today. Now, lot 10, who'll start me off at £500? Do I have a bid?

£500? Thank you, sir. £500 it is. Do I hear £550?

Thank you, sir.

£550 it is.

He's bouncing bids up the wall. It's smart.

In case you're in the Camelaire coach bidding again. Do I hear 600?

Do I hear 600?

Do I hear six?

Do I hear 600 pounds?

Do I hear six?

Thank you, sir. 600 pounds it is.

Get rid of him.

Do I hear 650? Come along, gentlemen. I want Camelaire eliminated.

Do I have a bid?

Do I hear 650?

Do I hear 650?

650 with you, sir. Do I hear 650?

Thank you, sir.

£650 it is.

Do I hear £700?

£700. Come along, gentlemen.

Thank you, sir. £700 it is. It's against you, sir, at £750.

£750, sir. Do I hear £750?

Thank you, sir.

£750 it is.

Do I hear eight?

Thank you, sir. £800 it is.

Oh, you seem to have frightened your opposition away, sir.

£800, then all done.

Great one.

Can't swipe.

So, your name, sir?

McCann.

Lord, Lord, Lord, listen. Can you please speak in English?

Whoever you are.

Greek restaurant down here at the station. Nick is a good friend of mine.

are you talking about? Likes to chat and it.

Not 50p, please. Excuse me, would you mind? My wife's in maternity and I have

ring the ward every 30 minutes.

Thank you.

Are you sure that's going to be all right for tonight?

Check them behind the bar.

Arthur Daly, wherever you are. May you get strapped down by a bus.

No, not a bus. That's too quick.

A tank.

Yeah.

A tank.

Hello. Hello, Tony.

Yours truly.

Arthur?

Now, what the bloody hell's going on? I'm stuck here. It's opening night

tonight. Nothing's arrived yet.

Where's all my gear?

Having opening night nerves, are we, Tony?

Fret no more.

The unqualified success of Rapange Sporting Man's Club is assured. I've got

everything on your shopping list.

Everything? Everything.

Glasses, optics, cocktail shaders. All in mint condition.

At the price we agreed.

£2 ,000.

Cash on delivery.

Now, what about Terry?

Look, the stuff will be with you within the hour.

Terry? Don't fret. It's all arranged. I told you.

Tell her.

Captain, where's Terry?

Music may be the food of love, Tombo, but in this world, one also needs wage

use.

Hello, Reggie.

Mr Cooper'd like a little word with you.

I'll enter 500 next week, Mr Cooper. Straight up, seven days from now, the

be in your hand.

I believe you, Reg.

You'll give me the seven days, then?

Certainly, Reg.

But that leaves me with a problem.

I don't want it put round West London that I've gone soft.

Understand me, Reg?

Image.

Reputation.

It's not going to work, Ronnie, I'm telling you.

Oh? Who's upset our Welsh wizard today, then, eh?

You've been in to see the Chief Super, haven't you?

You're trying to get the station office out of back your campaign against the

Winchester. Too right I have, Taff. The place should never have been allowed to

open. But don't you see, Ronnie?

Long as it's open, we know where most of the local villains can be found.

Close it down and they'll be scattered to the four winds of West London.

The place is nothing but trouble.

Trouble. There's more action in the reading room of the local library.

Cherry? What's going on? I'm looking after the bar for Dave, aren't I?

Two of his pet monkeys got a bit out of order, didn't you?

Wait in the car.

Fletcher? Yes, Mr Cooper?

No bloodstains on the upholstery.

Right.

Our thing's at the bottom end of the market.

Thriving, John, thriving.

I've just made a valuable contribution to our export drive. The Middle East?

No, more your deep south.

I take it you are here to do business with Dave?

£2 ,000 worth.

Tell Dave Harris I called round to collect.

Very disappointed to find him out.

Very disappointed, Arthur.

He thinks Dave's done a runner, owed him two grand.

He's paranoid.

What time is Dave going to be back?

Sometime after midnight.

He's going to pop round on my gaff in the morning to collect the keys.

Oh, my God.

Give us a big one, quick.

Cash only, you know. No credit. Oh, never mind all that. This is medicinal.

You've just given me a terrible shock.

I don't care if I've given you measles.

Do you mean to say you're planning to spend the entire evening here in the

Winchester? Yeah, that's right.

See, Dave arranged a day out and his relief let him down.

Well, why does he have to phone you? Why can't he phone Alcoholics Anonymous?

Didn't you ever think of helping out a mate if he's in trouble?

No. Forget I ever said that. Stupid question, really, wasn't it?

Terry, good deeds of a boy scouts. I'm far too old for woggles, funny hats and

silly trousers.

I don't know why you're getting so upset anyway. It's no skin off your nose.

You have been invited to the opening of Tony Benson's nightclub.

Have I? Yes.

Yeah, well, I'm sure my absence won't be noted.

It will be well noted. You're part of a package deal.

Package deal?

Yeah, glasses, optics, cocktail shakers and head of security.

Bouncer, you mean?

Oh, yeah, that and all, just for the first week.

Now, he wanted to put a lad in from south of the river, but I said no.

There's only one good minder in London, and that is Terry McCann. And this is

the thanks I get.

I suppose it never occurred to you that I might have a view about dressing up in

a monkey suit and poncing around a nightclub all week? The wages were

useful. 200 sobs, less VAT.

Look, I'm sure Dave wouldn't mind if you just closed this place down just for

tonight. No, I'm sorry, I'm not leaving here till closing time.

Well, who's going to mind the nightclub?

I don't know.

Ask Cooper if you can borrow his two idiots.

Uh, that's, uh, 178.

Put it back.

Cheers.

Well, I think Dave Harris has definitely done a runner and left McCann holding

the baby. Thank you, Tombo.

No doubt about it. He's put your two grand in his bin and split.

So what do you suggest?

Well, I suggest we go back there, give McCann a good hiding, and then burn the

Winchester down.

I'll second that.

We'll give Mr Harris until tonight to come back and pay up.

What if he doesn't pay?

It's down to Fletcher.

The Arthur Daly Motor Car Showroom. This is the proprietor speaking.

I've got the glasses. I've got the optics.

I've got all the equipment you promised us to fly. Except the most important

part.

Now, where's my minder?

Ah, now, there's been what you might call a technical itch. You see, everyone

wants Terry, and he's double booked.

I know you consider it essential to have him there for opening night. Essential?

What cause is essential?

I want him. Now, I'll never do business with you again.

Why don't you postpone it till tomorrow?

You must be joking.

Our deal was simple.

Club equipment, plus Terry McCann for £2 ,000.

If Terry McCann's not here, you don't get paid.

That idiot right cut is not going to get the winch at the close down if I can

help it.

Now where is Mr Harris?

Hello there.

There's no one in.

Haven't seen him since yesterday morning.

Has there been a murder?

Why do you ask that, madam? Some man came yesterday in a flashy car.

Very nice.

Very nice indeed.

Good morning, Sergeant.

Looking for anything in particular, Sergeant?

I might be.

Then again, I may not be.

I see.

In a bit of a hamlet mood today, are we?

Where were you last night?

What part of last night?

All of it.

Well, early on, I was at Winchester.

Do you have a good time?

Good morning, Terence.

Good morning.

Is this a private party, or can anyone join in?

I better phone the police.

I've got strange men in my house.

I hear you had some aggravation from Cooper and his friends.

There was nothing I could do.

Cooper came looking for money with Mr. Harreth Otham, and you told him what to

do. Is that the size of it yet?

This is a very bad time to indulge in fighting in Winchester.

Elements within the local station are determined to get the club closed.

I shall be very unhappy if that club is closed.

Why? You hardly ever drink there anyway.

Oh, but you and Arthur do.

And so do most of the criminal class in this area.

Now, I'm a neat man.

And having you all under one roof is very neat.

And I want it to stay like that.

You two will ensure that the club stays open.

It's nothing to do with Arthur. No, no, no. Dave's the man you want to see for

that. Aye.

He's a man I'd very much like to see. That's why I'm here.

Where is he?

Probably sleeping off his chariot trip to Folkestone. He's not at home.

Hasn't been seen there since yesterday morning.

And he's not at the Winchester.

He appears to have vanished off the face of the earth.

I'm deeply worried, Terry.

Deeply worried. So am I.

If you share my concern, what are you doing here?

Well, it's not much I know, but I thought I'd hold the fort until

turns up again.

Well, it's good to know you share my concern, mate. I'm not talking about

I'm talking about Tony Benson.

Holding a large sum of my money because you let him down.

You really are the most selfish, self -centred git I've ever known.

God knows what's happened to Dave and all you're worried about is money and

Penn Sporting Man's club.

Selfish? Self -centred?

Me?

Yeah, yeah, all right, Sam, yeah. But listen, if you hear from him, for God's

sake, let me know, will you?

Right.

Cheers, mate, and I hope your flu gets better.

Ta -ra.

Excuse me, I'm looking for the proprietor, Mr David Harris.

Join the queue. Who are you?

I'm his solicitor.

Who are you?

Hello?

Oh, um, well, I don't know, really.

Yeah, this is the Winchester, but I don't know what you normally deliver.

Well, just bring what you normally bring.

Is it on account?

It's nothing, OK. Yeah, well, just bring it along. All right, I'll see you

later. Cheers. Bye.

Give us a large one, Terry. It's turning into one of them days.

A touch early for alcohol, isn't it?

You look after your liver, Squire, I look after mine.

I don't care if your liver turns to stone. I am concerned that my client

his licence.

I've solicited her.

Oh, have no fear, Mr... Shanks. William Shanks.

No, no laws are being contravened.

We are acting in locus parentis.

I beg your pardon?

We are in charge in Dave's absence.

Ah, excellent.

Where is Mr Harris, by the way?

We don't know.

When's he coming back?

We don't know that either.

Would you say that he left you in charge?

Absolutely and completely.

So I'm sure you won't object?

Oh, no, not at all. In fact, I think I'll join you.

I'll have a large brandy, please.

I usually have one when I come to see him.

I shall require you both in court this morning. Court?

When Mr Harris applied for a renewal of his licence, there were several small

technicalities to be resolved.

These have now been sorted out.

The case was adjourned until this morning.

As you two have taken his place, I shall require you both in court this morning.

I think I may have misled you slightly, Mr Shanks.

Terry is the one who's keeping an eye on the bar.

What are you doing, then?

Keeping an eye on Terry.

Oh, well, I shall require you in court this morning.

Oh, don't worry.

It's a mere formality. Only take a few minutes.

You've got to go to Penge.

I'm not leaving here until Dave comes back. Did Drake go mincing around

lager and light ale when the Spanish invaded with the Armada?

Did the rank -and -file cocker -deafen when Kitchener said he wanted to play an

away match in France?

Penge needs you.

Knickers.

Could you possibly wear a...

That's Rykel. I wonder what he's doing here.

I wouldn't say close.

Probably fitting up some poor sod.

Found David then?

No.

Well, I'm glad to see you're concerned about him.

Well, we all are.

Then why aren't you at court, helping McCann protect his business?

Day's not the only one who'll have a business.

Right cut is planning to make things very awkward this morning.

Terry can take care of himself.

Aye, in a punch -up, maybe. Not in a courtroom.

They'll shred him, and you know it.

Your place is in the courtroom alongside him. My place is here, earning my

living. Why does Terry McCann hang about with a chancellor like that?

Come on, he can't hear us.

Cut one of his veins and small change would pour out.

Counterfeit, of course.

I'm Arthur Daly of West London, not Mother Teresa of Calcutta.

I got it, Baldy.

Oh, thank you.

I got it, Baldy.

Oh.

Thank you, Rob.

What's on today's menu, Frank?

Oh, it's usual fare.

A few new applications from the renewal of the Winchester Club.

That might prove diverting.

With the police opposing them.

But I gathered a licensee, one David Harris.

He's missing.

I've got some bad news.

It's the only kind you get in your game, isn't it? What's up?

I'm booked to appear in two courts at the same time.

Ah, that's a clever trick.

So who's going to look after the other geezer?

Well, I have. Oh, charming.

I've tried to get the other case put back, but the bailiffs won't alter the

running order.

Well, they wouldn't, would they? I mean, these places aren't put here for our

benefit, are they?

Just explain to the court the circumstances you outlined to me on the

It's a mere formality.

I'll join you as soon as I can.

You look as if you've just got a five stretch.

I thought you were fighting the Armada at Penge. No, no.

No, I just thought I'd pop in, make sure you didn't get in any trouble.

Where's your solicitor?

He's got two cases on at the same time, hasn't he? What?

I lost the toss.

That is a liberty. We are not prepared to put up with that. You're Arthur Daly.

Who says?

I'm Rob Muldoon, friend of Dave's.

You're looking after a Winchester, aren't you?

I don't think you should answer that question.

Not without your solicitor being present. Don't worry about him. It's jet

That's right, I'm looking after the Winchester. Why?

I think we'd better have a wee word about what's going to happen this

Now, if we could just run over the principal reasons why the police are

objecting to renewing the licence of the Winchester club.

I'm relying on you, Terry.

No, no, look, don't involve me in your personal vendetta with Rycock.

Anyway, what about Dave?

You all come up with anything yet?

No.

Do your best.

Yeah, I will.

Please be seated.

Thank you.

I swear that the evidence I shall give shall be the truth, the whole truth, and

nothing but the truth, so help me God.

Mr. McCann, am I correct in saying that you are running the Winchester Club

on Mr.

Harris's behalf?

Yes, sir. You see, what I... May I intervene, my lord? I am Arthur Daly, a

business associate of Terence and David's. In the absence of a member of

bar... I would like to act on Mr. McCann's behalf.

Right. In that case, Mr.

Daly may represent you.

Oh, no.

Thank you, my lord.

Oh, Mr. Daly, this is not the old Bailey, and I am not a judge.

I appreciate your desire to show respect to the bench, but a plain sir

will suffice.

Thank you, sir.

The police are very strongly opposed to a license renewal for a variety of

reasons. Call on Detective Sergeant Rycock.

Mr.

Daly, I think your client will be more comfortable in the will of the court.

Thank you, Your Worship.

I swear the evidence I shall give will be the truth, the whole truth and

but the truth, so help me God.

No one else will.

I beg your pardon, Mr. Daly?

I said I think he looks ill.

Oh?

Oh, would you care to sit down?

No, thank you, sir.

Sergeant, perhaps it would be good enough to tell the court why the police

objecting to a license renewal of the Winchester Club.

Certainly, sir.

The licensee, a certain David Harris, is currently missing.

We feel that his disappearance almost certainly has criminal implications.

The investigation as to his whereabouts is continuing.

I see.

But why would you be opposed to the granting of a temporary licence, say, to

someone else?

Well, we have had a number of complaints from the local residents. They seem

particularly concerned that the club is used by known criminals.

There has been excessive noise, drunken fighting.

Stolen property is frequently offered for sale. In fact, crimes are frequently

planned in the club itself.

And finally, members of the public passing by have been subjected to

suggestions of a sexual nature.

I think there's very little I can add to the officer's evidence.

The evidence against the granting of renewal is clearly overwhelming.

Mr. Daly, do you wish to question the police officer?

Only briefly, Your Honor.

Very, very briefly.

Now then.

Constable. Sergeant.

Detective Sergeant.

Of course you are. Of course you are.

Now, you have given the impression to this courtroom that all your attempts to

close the Winchester Club were the official police position. It is my

police position.

But not, I think, your station inspectors, who said in a memo to you on

subject, I see no valid reason to object to the renewal of the Winchester's

licence.

Who told you that?

Are you disputing it?

Because if you are, I will ask the court to adjourn and we will put the station

inspector in the box.

I am objecting. Oh, we know that.

But is it not odd that your superior officer isn't?

And is it not also odd that your colleague, Detective Sergeant Jones, the

officer investigating the disappearance of the licensee, is not objecting?

And is it not also as well odd that there is not one single note in your

station's logbook about these complaints you allege you received?

I think you'll agree, Your Honour, that what we have here is one petty jumped

-up policeman trying to chuck his weight around.

I want to know where you got all those details from.

And well you might, Ronnie, well you might. But in here, I ask the questions,

you give the answers.

Is there anything else you wanted to add, Sergeant?

Yes, sir.

I further object to this renewal on the grounds that McCann is not a fit and

proper person to run a drinking club.

I would like to offer the Winchester Club protection, Your Honour, under

10 of the Licensing Act of 1964.

I apply for a protection order for the Winchester Club.

Oh, do you now?

Well, then perhaps you'd like to take the witness box.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Look, you didn't even want me to work in the Winchester.

Now you're offering to take over the licence. What's going on?

Rycock was about to trot out your police record.

Is that why you came in?

To stop him doing that?

Let me make one thing clear. I am not working behind that bar.

I want to see you two in the very near future.

What for?

Buy you both a large one.

I wouldn't have missed that for a week's pay.

Very impressive, Arthur.

I'd like to congratulate you.

What a friend for.

Lucy, Harry.

Have you heard from Dave?

No, Arthur.

But I bet he has. What are you doing?

Arthur's been a great... What have you done with my

husband? This is no place for a punch -up, right?

Arthur's been trying to... Honestly.

What am I supposed to...

It's nothing to do with Arthur, lovey. He's only doing a good deed.

Oh, well, that proves it. When did Arthur Daly ever do anyone a good deed?

dear. Oh!

There's dirty work at the bottom of this. Oh, don't move!

And it's got your name on it. Now, I'm going down to the local net to sort them

out. You watch your sticky little fingers with the Winchester stock.

Oh,

well, the sooner we find Dave, the better.

You and your so -called good deeds.

Baden, bloody pal.

Brand new tip for that one.

Just understand me on this, Arthur.

No one, I repeat, no one let me down twice.

Last night's opening passed without a new violence.

I don't want to push my luck.

Now, I ask you, you want your turn, Greg.

So where's Terry? Well, look, I grant you, Tony, there has been a small to

medium hiatus.

See, the thing is...

I am now able to offer you an absolute bonus.

Bonus? What do you mean? What kind of bonus?

No, no, don't go on. Listen to me, listen. Look, this comes to you

free. Now, I grant you that Terry is useful, but this replacement is twice as

useful.

Let me put it this way.

I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of him.

Oh, yeah?

Who is he? His name's Justine. And no, before you say anything, he is not a

girl. It's one of them either -or names, like Leslie or Billy.

Now... He will be there at seven o 'clock tonight, and I will be round in

morning to collect my two grand.

All right?

I suppose so.

Just make sure he gets here.

Don't worry.

Bye -bye.

And this is only the beginning.

I understand, Arthur.

You look after me, I look after you.

Yeah, but what about Terry? He ain't going to get the hump with me joining

firm, is he?

No, no, no, of course not. He'd be the first to agree this time we've got some

fresh blood on the team.

Now, this job will be a doddle.

Most of Tony's clientele are old -age pensioners.

And 150 sobs in your hand at the end of the week.

Yeah? At less VAT.

Oh, of course. Right, handsome.

I'll be up then.

Oi! What's your watch? What are you doing?

You what? You heard? Well, you're muttering as well as punching.

What did you say?

Oh, no, I know. Well, you've got a licence for these two. If I was you, I'd

them muzzled.

Oh, would she now?

Yeah. And another thing.

If you're going in to see Arthur, you make sure you show him some respect,

right? Because he can turn very ugly.

Just marking your cards, lad.

Who was that?

One of those glue sniffers.

Irreversible brain damage.

No, no, no, no. I don't know if it was any drinks or hospitality, Arthur.

The boys have helped themselves.

This won't take long.

Word has reached my royal ear that you've been granted a protection order

Winchester and that you're the new licensee. Now, you're going to need all

protection you can get, Arthur.

Isn't it, boys?

The owner of the Winchester owes me two grand.

As the new owner of the Winchester, you know only two grand.

So either you find Dave Harris or two grand.

And a large brandy for me. Thank you, Sondland.

You do like your brandy, don't you?

Just protecting one of my investments.

I am.

Anyway, we must toast your triumph in court.

You have the talk of the robing room.

Thank you, Mr Shanks.

Now, about Dave. He's got to be found, and found quick.

I mean, if I wanted a career in boozers, I'd have married a Guinness heiress.

Listen, we were just wondering if there's anything in Dave's business

that might explain his disappearance.

No, his business affairs are completely above board.

This protection order that I've been granted, can that be transferred to Lucy

Harris now she's appeared on the scene?

No, not until the next quarter sessions in a month's time.

You mean I've got to run to Winchester for a month?

That's about the size of it.

No, don't worry.

Terry's kindly offered to stay behind the bar for you.

And if you want any advice on business affairs, you can always ask Lucy or

indeed me.

Don't you let that demented woman near me. I've had a word with her and

explained how you gallantly leapt into the breach.

Now that she's calmed down, you'll find her very receptive.

Ah. Oh, yes. Let me do that.

Thank you.

Oh, thank you.

Yes. Thank you, Sandra.

A local villain, John Cooper, came into the club yesterday looking for Dave.

But, more particularly, looking for Too Foul.

Now, what's all that about? Cooper wholesales in Wine and Spirits. David

does business with him. Nothing sinister there. When Cooper's involved, there's

always something sinister. He's looking for me to settle the debt.

Well, don't. If he takes you to court, we can present an excellent defence.

Ha!

Cooper has a habit of settling out of court.

Something to give yourself up then, Daly.

What for?

The owner of the Winchester vanishes. Next thing you'll run into place, two

two make four.

That's very good.

You'll be doing joined up writing next.

The memory of what happened in that courtroom this morning will stay with me

a very long time. Yeah.

And while I'm on about it, who give you all that information about police memos

and station records?

A little bird.

Yeah. Or a great Welsh tit.

Well, since you two are into birds, remember this.

I shall be watching you both.

Like a hawk. Thank you very much.

It's early days yet. We are keeping an open mind.

What about the blokes you went on this outing with?

The Dyson's, the Chalets.

Most of them came home the worst for wear.

We have contacted the court driver. Now, he confirmed they waited an extra hour

at Folkestone and then went home.

From what we can make out, Dave Harris appears to have vanished shortly after

lunchtime. Well, what about Cooper and his goons, Terry?

We're looking at that.

Of course.

If you have any information... Well, I...

What's the

look? Any

news? No, nothing yet.

Oh, well, don't worry.

He's going to turn up. He'll be all right.

He's just not like him. I mean, he's reliable.

He always has been.

Arthur, about this morning?

Yeah. Well, I'm sorry.

I mean, I'm really very grateful for what you're both doing.

He's lucky to have two friends like you.

Oh, I like that.

I like that.

Yeah, we'll have a couple of them. Are those different?

Different music type, different tune.

Very cute, very cute. Lovely.

We'll have two that play Drink to Me Only and two that play Days of Wine and

Roses. Two of them? No, two each, four. We'll see what you've got over there.

You'll do wonders for the bar trade, Terry.

Are you sure?

You watch the takings rise.

Oh, look at that. I like that.

Oh, yes, I think we'll have some of them, eh?

And the Winchester.

Yeah, I've always felt that Dave never did enough to attract a passing Guardian

reader, you know? Is there any situation you wouldn't exploit?

Lord, I hope not.

Sir, where is the ship?

Yes? Yes, go round and round and round. Round and round and round. Now,

what I'm saying is this. Listen.

Are you totally clear what the drill is?

You talking about tonight?

No, you, Burke. I'm talking about when you become the Queen of England.

Of course I'm talking about tonight.

Here.

You watch your mouth, son.

Just because Cooper's put you in charge.

I just don't want any slip -ups, that's all.

I don't want our collars cut, you know what I mean?

Oh, sweat.

It'll be a doddle. No, listen, Tombo, I want my slip -ups. Come on.

Lift them for me. Here, for one minute. Here, come here.

I can recommend the caviar.

Chop the avocado, spread the caviar on, delicious.

What are you doing here, moonlighting for the good food guide?

Just passing, you know.

Got a phone call a little while ago.

Oh, that must be nice for you. Anyone special?

What he had to tell me was.

Look,

mate, you felt useful. Get us a melon, will you?

I think you and Daly should keep a very close eye on Cooper's place tonight.

Cooper? Why? What's he up to?

That's for you to find out.

Hold on. Are you asking Arthur and me to do police work?

Just a little surveillance, that's all.

What's wrong with your mob?

Because at this stage of my inquiries into the whereabouts of David Harris, I

could never get a surveillance sanction.

Why not?

Because of the cost.

We suffer from cost -cutting exercises like the rest of the human race, you

know. No, look, Taffy... It's up to you.

He's your friend.

What are you doing?

What's been happening?

Well, if you had the courtesy to stay awake, you'd know, wouldn't you?

Know what?

In the middle of the night... Yeah?

They all came out and had a candlelit dinner right in the middle of the woods

there.

Nothing. Not a dickie.

You wait till I see that Welsh Wally.

Hold on, hold on.

What?

Come on.

What's the matter? I spilled the coffee. It's scalding me. Don't worry about

that. We're going to lose them, aren't we? But they're all up and wet. Come on,

give it to me.

Come on, hurry up. God, it's scalding.

I've burnt my washcloth.

Come on.

I think I gave up a good bed for this.

Her indoors will never believe I spent the whole night in here with you.

Do you know what I gave up? What?

A little blonde bird from Shanks' office.

She was going to come out of my place and nibble on my avocado.

Well, quite honestly, you're not an adequate substitute.

I'm very glad to hear it.

Terry, I've just had a thought.

They could have Dave's body in the boot of that car.

I've been thinking the same.

Just stop him.

They're going into the back of the Winchester.

Right, let's go. No, no, no, no. Hang on, Terry.

Softly, softly, catchy Cooper.

Believe me.

No, no, I can't take any more of it.

Terry, Terry, there is more than one way of stuffing an avocado.

Stay.

What's happening?

Do you see MacDonald?

Go.

Where's that?

Well, it sounds like one of these obscene phone callers. He's asking for

Detective Sergeant Jones speaking.

Where have you been? They've taken all of Dave's gear.

Terry, trust me, everything is under control.

Scout's on.

Well that's one problem taken care of.

That to Mrs. Harris.

Well, danke schön for calling, meine Herr.

Danke schön very much.

Yes.

Auf Wiedersehen.

Is he going to be all right?

He's perfectly all right.

He'll be home tomorrow.

Oh, thank God.

Sandra, celebration's in order. I'll have a large brandy.

Mrs. Harris, Mr. Muldoon? No, thanks. No, no, thanks. Right.

What happened?

He had a drop too much to drink in Folkestone and went aboard the ferry for

Boulogne with a group of football supporters.

He was arrested while demonstrating the breaststroke in a fountain in Hamburg.

No, no, no, no, not there. Go back, over there.

Backwards, go on, go on, go on.

Keep going, keep going.

Go on, go on, go on. There, there. Now, stick it on the end of the counter.

No, no, push it, push it on a bit.

That's it. That's it. Keep it there.

Oh, look at that.

Perfect. Are you sure Dave's going to like all this? Of course. He'll be over

the moon.

Chopped as a cockatoo. You wait and see.

You don't think you're a bit over the top or anything? Over the top? Never.

Here you are, Tony. As promised, I've brought young Terry over.

He can take over from Justine tomorrow night. Right? Oh, definitely, yeah,

Come in here, the pair of you.

What happened here, Tony?

What happened?

Justine has been weighed in the balance of found voices.

Why, what did he do?

What did he do?

He started this little lot.

That's what your so -called miner did.

My dreams of bringing a little culture to the wastelands of South London gone.

All gone.

Be that as it may, Tony, you still owe me two grand.

Oh. You can get stuffed.

And your equipment will be ready for you to collect at lunchtime.

Terry, see to him. Oh, do leave off.

What? Look, and where's Justin?

Oh, Tom.

Justin?

You all right, mate?

Never mind all that, Tosh.

Careful, you.

Come on, Justin. I want an explanation.

Yeah, what happened?

Well, I could see this bird fancied me, right?

But I thought nothing more of it because I'm there on business, right?

And all of a sudden, her mate comes rushing over, tells me her friend's in a

coma. So I did me best and remembered me first aid from the Boy Scouts.

So there I am, giving her the kiss of life, when some geezer comes steaming

me, some bloke, um, Frank Mitchell.

What, meat axe?

Well, stop lying around in bed and get dressed.

I want you to give Terry Ann taking that gear over from Benson's to the

Winchester. I'm going to let Dave have it for the same price.

Well, 800 quid.

Boy, he's delirious, Terry. 800.

2 ,000 quid, Justine.

Seeing as how I prevented Dave from paying Cooper two grand, I think the

he can do is invest in some decent car equipment.

And let that be a lesson to both of you.

Never do a friend a favour unless he's paying for it.

Come on, Terry.

See you, mate.

Lucy. Lucy.

Arthur.

There you go, mate.

Welcome home.

Arthur, Chell, how far I ever thank you both for what you've done for me. Think

nothing of it, Dave.

That's what friends are for.

Come on, Kate.

Lucy. Bye.

See you later.

Bye -bye, Tom.

See you later.

Ha, ha, ha, Leo!

I'd be so good for you. I'd be so good for you.