Original subtitles

Thank you.

He's so good for you.

Love you like you're walking through.

He's so good for you.

Love you like you're walking through.

What's the name of that place again?

Oh, the Winchester. It's a drinking club.

I don't suppose you've thought of that joker's name yet?

No. I know it's Arthur something or other. And I've got the photo.

See, London isn't Sydney.

It's 30 miles across and it's got nearly as many people as the whole of

Australia. And you're expecting to find one bloke who you're not even sure is

here. You must be out of your tiny mind.

Maybe. No.

Come on, then. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on.

What are you feeling about that, you fool?

Well, I can't have it, Gav, can I? I said last week you need servicing.

We've lost them.

You know what, Carp? Inheriting you from Sergeant Chisholm is not dissimilar to

inheriting death duties.

You know your trouble, my son.

Total ignorance of the times we live in.

No historical perspective, that's your problem.

You know what they say about history repeating itself?

Shouldn't do it in company.

Oh, very amusing, Terence, very droll. And here you are, turning down gainful

employment. And here you are, giving me GBA to the eardrum again.

Hello, Harper. Hello, Uncle.

I've been looking for you. I'm sad to say you found me. Hello, tell me, how's

your luck? I'll take the turn for the worst, I suspect.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

I've got a good trade, if you're interested. Listen, if it's as dodgy as

last cotchall you tried to sell me... Oh, no, nothing like that. I don't know

how that got into Police 5.

Rick it, wouldn't it?

I phoned him up, you know. Who?

Oh, Whispering Grass. What's his name?

Sure, Taylor.

Yeah, that's it.

He's dead, isn't he?

Yeah, fell off the back of a lorry.

No, I spoke to him. Told him that gear had been got in good faith and he was

taken on liberty with my living.

Apologised, did he?

Asked for me name, didn't he? Can you imagine?

You want to see what had gone up in him?

Yeah, all right, come on. It's over here.

Ain't hard to look at, is it?

Keep her indoors warm and happy in winter, I thought.

Try it now, Gav.

Well, I don't know.

Maybe a bit of dirt in the carburettor.

What do you think?

I think...

Our two ladies have probably hoisted half a selfridges by now.

Don't insult me, mournful. For that kind of dough, I could join a Barclay hunt,

capture my own foxes, get the skins made up, and still come out with change.

Leave off, Arthur. That coat comes to at least a couple of grand the right way.

Tell him, will you, Terry?

Consider yourself told.

I don't know. Your finger's for the bone. You have to put up with all this

Here he stands.

Cushioned against the harsh realities of unemployment, mostly, I may add, due to

my good offices. All right.

Eight hundred, and we've got a trade. Where was I?

Don't know, but I wish you were still there.

I'm still here.

I risked my liberty for that coat, Harper, and you want to steal it off me.

Look, I can buy them legit at cost for what you are asking, mournful. Now, will

you please go away?

Well, all right.

Seven. And that's final.

Dave and me, we were only kids at the time, but we remember the Yarrow

right, Dave? The Yarrow. A sea of unemployed schlepping their way hundreds

miles down the highways and byways to the smoke.

There were no motorways in those days, Terry.

No socks, holes in their daisies, but cloth caps, a dignified angle, in order

that they might demand their democratic right to do an honest bit of collar.

Well, you know... Sad days, my son, but they will be back, Terry. Stand on me.

God help... That is what they said. But he helps them as helps themselves.

Well, you must have his undivided attention, then. Here, tell.

When are you going to bring in them tapes you keep promising me? Oh, that's

right. I'm sorry, mate. No.

Next time, I promise. All right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a bit tasty, isn't

Yeah. She ain't bad either, is she? OK.

Five. And it really saddens me to say it.

Excuse me.

Mr. Daly.

Arthur Daly. Arthur who? Is he here? Yeah.

This is him here. Hold on.

I suppose we'll just sit here, Gov.

Wait for them to come back.

See if they've got anything like.

We did that yesterday without a result, don't you remember?

Idiot. Well, this is you with Gary Mitchell, isn't it?

That's right, look at that. Well, yes, yes, there is a vague similarity, and

are... I'm sorry, my name is Dee Rogers.

We've just literally got off the plane from Australia.

Gary's an old mate of mine, and he said if ever we were over here, we should

look him up.

Unfortunately, I lost his address.

But I do remember him mentioning this club and talking about this really nice

bloke called Arthur Daly.

It is you, isn't it, Arthur?

Well, now that you mention it, Miss... Dee, please, call me Dee. Ah, Dee. And

I'll call you Arthur, if that's OK.

Fine. Listen, can I buy you and your friends a drink? Oh, stop it. No, Mr

Knight, I can get it, can't you?

Yes, why not? No, come on, please, let me get this.

It's OK, love, you'll get your chance, believe me.

What's happening?

Gin and orange, thanks. Young man?

I'll take a lager. Coming up.

I'm Terry.

Oh, how do you do, Terry? G'day. Or I go elsewhere.

Can't you see we've got company?

Listen, if you don't mind me saying this, if all the ladies are like you

under, I think I'll immigrate tomorrow.

Oh, me charming.

Oh, yes, indeed, yes. Oh, Greg Collins.

G'day. Hi.

Good grip you've got there, sport.

Thanks. Hello, Greg.

Good to know you. My name's Morris.

Yeah, we call him Moonfleur. I'll let you work out why. How do you do, Morris?

Oh, not so good as a mare fat. I keep trying, you know what I mean?

Yeah. I know a couple of Aussie birds.

Trippic oysters.

Shut up. Come and have your drink. Here you go. Thanks very much.

Excuse me, dear.

Yes? Do you wish to purchase that dress?

Oh, I'm not sure. I was just checking the colour.

I'm afraid I'll have to take it back inside the shop.

You've set off the alarm.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's best, dear.

We've got them on all the garments.

It gets removed once the garment is purchased, of course. Oh, right.

Hey, you don't think I was trying to steal the dress, do you?

Not at all, dear.

You weren't to know, were you?

Yeah, I knew him well.

Great drinking mates, Gary and me.

Um, but I must say, I didn't expect him to come back here.

No. Why's that?

Uh, well, um, he seemed very anxious to get away.

Yeah. To Australia specifically?

Uh... Yeah, well, he liked the idea of all that sunshine and freedom, you know

what I mean? Oh, right, yeah.

Hey, what are we going to do about the taxi?

Uh... Would it be all right to send it away and park our luggage in here just

while we talk? No trouble at all. Dave's a diamond.

Great.

Oh, English money.

Oh, Terry will sort that for you, my dear. He's very good at that sort of

Greg will help you, won't you?

Yeah, sure. I'll give you a hand.

You really are a nice fella.

Gary was right about you.

One might know in life, my dear, is if you cannot do someone a good turn.

Do not do them a bad one. We're put that way, dear.

That's a lovely philosophy.

A little something I picked up along the way.

Arthur, have you any idea where I might find Gary?

Well, I'm not exactly unknown in this town, my dear, and if he's around, I'm

sure we can work something out so that we can find him for you.

Would you? I'd be really grateful.

Yeah, well, I am a very busy man.

I mean, do have to earn the daily crust.

Arthur Daily Crust.

Oh. Get a living.

I understand.

Is that important, is it? It is to me.

You see, well, actually, Gary and I weren't just good friends.

As a matter of fact, we love each other very much.

We were to be married, but, well, let's just say circumstances parted us.

Well, anyway, things are different now.

But I thought you and, um, Greg... Oh, no, he's just an old friend, happened to

be on the plane. He's over here meeting his brother.

Oh.

Arthur... I'd be perfectly willing to cover any cost that you might incur if

wouldn't be insulted by that.

Insulted? No, no, no, of course not, my dear. No, no, just overheads. No, I

wouldn't be insulted.

And how could I not help such a pretty lady as yourself?

Now, me and my man Terry will do the best we can.

Oh.

Something the matter, my dear?

I guess I'm a bit chilly.

What, in this heat?

Not due to your climate, I guess.

Don't go away, my dear.

Score is all you're getting and you're taking liberties.

Three, and I'm doing you a favour.

Arthur, I want you to know how depressed that makes me feel.

Red is cashing your claw right now.

And I want your assurance that it is bankrupt stock.

What?

Oh, yeah, of course.

Well?

Well, if it wasn't for that, I've got to pay my analyst.

You're what?

He reckons I'm suffering from depression.

I tell you, Arthur, it makes me doleful.

I don't know how you do it.

Stands you in for three, and within minutes you've knocked it out for five.

Perfectly normal business transaction, profit and loss. That's what it's all

about, isn't it?

She's happy, I'm happy.

Of course, mournful's a bit doleful, but well, isn't he?

Doleful? You and Greg get into my car, my dear. I'm just giving my man Terry

here the SP.

Are you trying to make me look a burk or what?

What? Well, cut the my man crap, all right? No, no, no, just a little gambit,

Terry. Don't worry about that. I have learned something that will be of great

interest to you. The geezer who is with her is not in the least romantically

involved with her.

What?

Well, do you eye off Slusty's bit of an iron?

An iron? Leave it out.

The man looks like the centre forward for the old blacks.

Well, he ain't exactly limp -wristed, I'll give you that.

But they're not all screaming queens, are they?

Oh, don't be so tasteless, Terence.

Oh, I think we've captured the little lady.

What do you mean, captured?

Or should I say, enraptured. By sheer good fortune.

Hers, that is.

The lady needs help looking for an old mutual friend, and we are in a position

to render her assistance in that direction.

I could render her something.

Is that character for real?

Well, at 500 pounds per coat like this, who's complaining?

Oh, come off it, Dee. The bloke's a con artist. Who needs him? Greg.

He's the best chance I have to find my darling Gary.

And to do that, I'm willing to spend quite a bit.

The thing I don't get is why a sort like that would get Pally with an out -and

-out villain like Gary Mitchell in the first place.

I mean, the only reason he immigrated was because there was a warrant out for

him, right?

Right. She's straight, isn't she?

Oh, she is, Terry, she is. I found her out while you were chatting to Dave at

the bar.

So why Gary Mitchell?

Well, it seems he set up business out there, all kosher and legit. She worked

for him for a time. That's how they became friends.

Well, anything's possible.

Hang on, hang on, hang on.

I've been saving the best of it.

She don't like hotels.

Wants a place of her own.

Nudge, nudge, woo -hoo -hoo.

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah, but what about the big boner all black?

Apparently he's going to be staying with his brother.

Well, that is handy, isn't it? It's handier than you think, my son.

I've rented her your flat.

Of course he don't mind, do you, Terry?

There is one little problem. Like, where am I going to rest my weary?

Well, you can keep round at your gran's. You're never at home anyway, are you?

Thanks a lot, pal.

I didn't think... I mean, I don't want to impose. I can hardly expect Terry to

clear out of his flat just so I can... Nonsense, my dear. Why pay lunatic hotel

prices? No, no, a nice little pied -à -terre.

Or should I say, pied -a -terry.

Not a few bus stops from the throbbing heart of the metropolis.

At 80 quid a week, it's a gift. Stand on me.

The whole ground floor.

That's the lot. Well, you know, it's kind of a shame it's not big enough for

both of us.

Well, actually, I was thinking about that. It is really, isn't it?

I mean, it's only got one bedroom, but it's a big old sofa. Well, if you're

sure, I mean, you don't mind.

No, I don't mind, you know, if you don't mind. No.

Are we anywhere near Park Royal?

Park Royal?

Yeah, that's where my brother lives.

Hiya, Michael.

All right, girls?

I hope you've had a good day. Mine's been a right downer.

Of course, the boy's a bachelor, so tidiness is not exactly a strong point,

you can see. But I can vouch for the fact that he is personally clean in

himself. Personally clean? Will you talk? This is the master bedroom.

All right.

Hardly elegant, but cosy, cosy.

I really appreciate this, Arthur. Least I can do, my dear.

We British still have a duty to protect and assist our colonial cousins from

around the globe.

You know, let me show you the car, the earthy bathroom.

Right. That Mac could do with a trip to the cleaners' tanks and one day that'll

change those sheets.

Now, these are about the right mark.

I can ship these all day for 30 or 40 quid a lump to proper people instead of

liberty takers like Arthur Daly.

Who's Arthur Daly? Don't ask me.

Just run through, Garth. Be fixed for morning.

What's this, then?

Well, according to Ronnie Aldridge, that little duo of Aussie hoisters have been

trying to trade their ill -gotten gains to persons on this manor, right?

That's what it's heard, Garth.

And what has that little collection of antisocial misfits got in common, then?

Er, well, they're all local faces we know or suspect of handling stolen

property. Precisely.

And those three, Grimwood, Barber and Daly...

Frequent the Winchester Club, is that not so?

Yeah, that's right I do, Gov. Who else is a member and occasional visitor to

Thed establishment?

Oh, yeah, of course, Ronnie Aldridge.

Ronald Austin Aldridge, small -time thief and informer. And given our

problem, who better to keep an eye on Messrs Grimwood, Barber and Daly should

the opportunity arise?

Ah, I see, Gov.

I suppose partial sight is better than none.

Do have another word in his shell -like?

No.

Right, well, I'll drop Greg off at his brother's and Terry will start making

inquiries as to Gary's whereabouts while you get settled down in the flat, my

dear. Oh, I thought, if it's OK, perhaps I could go along with Terry.

Why not? Why not? No harm in having someone minding you.

Perhaps you could show Dee one or two of our historic landmarks, Terry. Show her

where her ancestors hailed from.

Clink prison's closed, isn't it?

No, sorry, love, no, it's a little joke.

Maybe it's not.

Oh, Arthur, do you know where I can hire a car?

Anything will do.

I just, you know, can't be completely dependent on you and Terry.

Hire a car? Yes.

Well, as a matter of fact... Don't you point that finger. Have I said anything?

No, no, I said nothing.

I was about to say... What, what, what? If she is anticipating staying for an

indefinite period, it will be far cheaper to buy a nice, reliable little

runabout.

If it just so happens I know where I can obtain the sort of vehicle she would

appreciate. I'll bet you do.

You ought to be arrested, Freddie.

Two and a half for this museum piece. Well, they sell half.

They don't build them like this anymore.

No, they wouldn't dare.

M .O .T. Tax for another couple of months. Please, Freddie, I'm a trader,

punter. I don't want to hear all that.

Look at all that pudding on themselves.

I'll give you 70.

70? Yep.

Make it a winner and it's yours.

Not a gift, Freddie.

Not a gift, but acceptable.

You get your lad to take it over to Terry's place, can you?

Sure. Be a bit difficult today, though. He's over at the auctions.

First thing in the morning, all right? Yeah, fine. Leave it outside with the

papers and all that. Right, will do. Please, Freddie.

Oh, Freddie!

You knew Gary Mitchell, didn't you?

Used to graft all that firm out of Fulham. Yeah.

Done a bunk to Australia about five stretch ago, didn't he? At least that's

I've heard. Well, you heard right. Well, apparently he's back here now.

You haven't seen sight nor sound of him, have you? No.

Hang on a minute.

I was having a drink in a Prince of Wales the other day with Bobby Pinch.

He mentioned something about him.

What was it now?

Thinking they were all a bit elephants at the time.

No. But I'm sure his name was stuck up, though. Why don't you have a word with

Bobby? Yeah, I will, right.

First thing in the morning, OK?

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, right.

Nah, tried to. Been all over, haven't we?

I ain't seen him or heard a thing till.

Should have thought he'd have wanted to come back.

Had the old IPO game when he was out of here, wasn't he? That's right, yeah.

He was the governor impersonating the old Bill, let's face it.

Oh, thanks, Keith.

See you around, mate, all right? OK.

Oh, I thought you knew. I mean, that is, I thought that Arthur would have told

you.

No, no, he didn't, no.

Poor old Gary.

He was never happy there.

I don't know, my parents hated him for some reason.

Then one day we had this really terrible fight, and the next thing I knew, he'd

sold his business and come back to England.

Said if I really wanted him, I'd come and find him.

So here I am.

Here you are.

It's been really great today, Terry.

You know, showing me the sights and everything. I really appreciate it.

Listen, uh...

I suppose you don't fancy a nice quiet drink in an old English pub, eh?

Now, what's your name up there, my darling?

Dee. By God, what a memory.

Now, look, Dee, where the hell do you come from?

Australia. Oh, some bleeding Australia.

Oh, God, we had an Australian pianist here the other night. Not a lot of good,

but they reckon he's pretty big down under. Joke.

I had to go and see the doctor the other day. He said, I haven't seen you for

two years. I said, I know, I've been ill.

Social Security, you know what I mean? He said, your nose is swollen. I said,

I've got sinus trouble.

He said, no, no, sinus.

No, I said, I was out with a boxer's wifey, sinus. A little song here now.

Now, there's a little song coming up here now. It's called Leave It Out,

Everybody in the chorus!

She was young and she was free.

She took a shine to be.

Succumbing to my stunning natural charms.

And I was cool as I could be.

And I very casually took her in my gentle mantle arms.

This is great, Terry. I mean, it's really great.

Did you hear what I said?

No, what?

That seems to me that Gary Mitchell wouldn't have been your type.

What makes you think that?

Oh, I don't mind you. I never really knew him.

What? I can't.

I said I never knew him all that well. He was more a mate of Arthur's.

Oh, right, yes. I felt a thing, Wally, as she slapped my face and very loudly

said, Everybody laugh!

Leave it out, John!

Leave it out!

Leave it out,

John. Leave it out.

Leave it out.

Leave it out, John.

Leave it out.

He's quaint, your Arthur.

Quaint? Oh, yeah, quaint.

A likeable rogue, eh?

What? Arthur, he's a likeable rogue.

Yeah, he could say that.

Well,

he is a crimp, Nick.

Oh, he's married.

Oh, come on.

You know what I mean.

Gary told me a lot of stories about it.

Funny. Oh, God. Yeah, I suppose you could say it was funny.

An inadvertent man.

I never know exactly how I feel.

Everybody leave it out, John.

Leave it out.

It's been so nice out today, so leave it out.

Leave it out, John.

Leave it out.

It's been so nice out today, so leave it out.

How long have you worked for us? Right.

Oh, yeah, sort of, yeah.

Oh, and I thought you liked it.

I'd like you a lot more if you weren't webbed up with Gary Mitchell.

Terry, that sounds as if you don't like him.

I'm the jealous type, aren't I?

Not funny.

Evening, Arthur.

Usual. Please, Dave, large one.

Terry hasn't rung or been in, has he?

No.

Arthur, how's it going?

Ronnie.

Haven't seen you around here for a bit.

You'll never find a bit round here.

Not a little sojourn in one of Her Majesty's hotels, I hope. No touch

You staying lucky, are you?

Luck has nothing to do with it, my son.

It's this.

You always was a bit slippery, Arthur.

Cheers, Dad.

Well, you still haven't told us what you're doing over here.

Just a little bit of business to take care of, you know.

Help out a friend.

Well, no one can say you weren't the best minder we had back home.

Is that all?

No comment.

Do you lady to somebody watching your backs over here?

Oh, we don't really need it.

Well, you know, these shops are a doddle.

Yeah, we've got a guy who gives us a pretty fair deal on practically anything

get.

Sounds like a pretty good set -up.

It's the dragon's birthday next week, so I've got to make a gesture, a little

present, keep it sweet. Know what I mean?

What, how about a packet of fire lighters?

Now, what have you got in mind, Ronnie?

Well, I thought a bit of clobber as coat preps, or a bit of Tom if it ain't too

pricey. Just wondered if you might have anything going.

No, I've got nothing like that in stock.

How about a pogo stick?

Keep her fit? Help her work off her aggression?

No, I don't think so, Arthur.

I don't know why I bought the bloody things. Giza must have caught me on the

One thing she's been egging me for is a fur coat.

Oh.

If you'd been here at lunchtime, I could have done you a bit of good. Yeah?

I had a fox fur that Basil Brush would change his act for.

But I knocked it out to this Aussie bird, didn't I?

Aussie bird?

Yeah, you know, anti -pod, what's it?

Australian lady.

And what a soul.

Oh?

Oh.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, do be careful on the way home.

We had a Scottsman in here last night on the way home. Found a pair of crutches

in the curb. Went over, broke his wife's legs.

You never know what you might find in the street.

Now then.

Stupid girl.

You worry me, you know.

Why?

You're carrying all that dough about. This is a vicious city, you know.

Wouldn't it be safer in a bank?

I like carrying a lot of money around. It gives me a feeling of confidence.

How are you? Nice meeting you.

The only problem is you might get a feeling of pain if someone hits you over

head to get at it, right?

You know, I'm really bored.

I don't blame you, tell. I knew you wouldn't go to Australia on a moped.

There's loads of room in here.

Fantastic.

Listen, Terry, are you sure about this? I mean, hospitality's one thing, but

letting someone you only just met... No, don't be daft. I said it was all right,

didn't I?

Anyway, you never know. If we don't find Gary, me luck might change.

You are sweet.

Don't call me that.

About Gary, Terry... Yeah?

Look, I realise it probably sounds a bit silly, but, well, if you and Arthur do

find him, would you mind telling me first?

Yeah, if you want, yeah.

You promise?

Yeah, why?

It's only a silly thing. It's just that, well, you know, I want to surprise him.

Can you understand that?

No. Yeah.

I don't understand.

You?

England's answer to you, Effner? Leaving a bird like that to snuggle down on her

own? You must be slipping, my son. Don't give me all that.

You knew she and Mitchell were more than just good friends.

She did say something about an infatuation, but... She's come over to

geezer. She told me. She told you and all.

Funny, I must have misunderstood.

Bleeding hilarious, isn't it?

Anyway, first we've got to find him. Yeah, presuming he's around, and that

take a bit of time. Long enough for you to manoeuvre yourself into her

affections. Yeah, and long enough for you to rip her off for a few more quid.

Terence, I must say this, I feel deeply wounded when you make aspirations like

that.

And anyway, unlike you, I have made some progress in that direction.

What? Well, I was doing a deal with Freddie the Fly for a tasty little motor

Dee, and he reckons Bobby Finch might know something.

Well, Finch, he's got the Prince of Wales. Yeah, the very same.

Well, let's get down at him. What's the hurry? Tomorrow will do.

Want to give yourself a chance, don't you?

They're not too keen, then.

Afraid not, love.

But can't really blame them, considering.

However, they might be able to help out with that other item.

Hmm. Ah, something.

And what about using that place?

I mean, I thought that's what you intended to do when you moved in there.

I don't think we'll have any trouble with those other two characters.

Made you promise.

Well, I can understand that, can't you?

Hmm. All right, too. Long time no see. How's it going?

What's it got to do with you?

Yeah, well, I'll be off now, Arthur.

I'll be popping in, so if anything comes up... Nice mother, right?

Or whatever, yeah.

See you around, then.

What's all that about?

You ain't trading with that ponce, are you?

Ronnie, it's all right.

Sure.

Really?

I heard from a few proper people that he's a wrong 'un. Too friendly with

Really? I didn't know that.

You ain't told him any of your business, have you?

Me? No, no, no, no, no. You know me, Terry. Never divulge more than is

necessary. That's all right, then, isn't it? Yeah.

Let me understand this, Ronnie.

You say that Arthur sold a fur coat to this Australian bird? That's right, Mr.

Rycourt. Told me so himself.

Well, so what?

He'd hardly likely to be selling bent gear to someone who's thieved it, would

he? No, no, that's true.

And since we have already got these suspect Australian hoisters under

surveillance, what is the point of this ludicrous information?

Oh, I just figured the Aussie connection, you know.

Arthur's also got her a motor.

What is so unusual about that?

Daily deals in motors. Well, if you're going and hoisting motors handy, innit?

The thing is, Ronnie, the two ladies in question already have the car.

Yeah, that's true.

Aldridge, you are a moron of mind -boggling ineptitude. I don't know why I

you reign.

You talk to him.

I'll go and wait in the car. And if you feel a compunction to hit him, try to do

it so as not to leave any marks.

400 for that?

I know, it's ridiculously underpriced for a period piece like that, isn't it?

What with the demand and everything.

But there you go, you see, being in the trade does have its advantages.

You're unbelievable.

Thank you.

Oh, great, Arthur. Really great. I love old things.

Just as well, innit?

Note the early plastic dashboard, my dear, and the genuine leatherette

upholstery. Fabola. Get in, get in. Try it out for size.

Comfort is a guaranteed feature, of course.

Isn't it too much?

Far too much.

Oh, listen, Arthur, do I have to get it insured or anything, you know, before I

can drive it?

All taken care of, my dear. I have a friend who does a nice line in cover

Third party, fire and theft are criminally low fee.

And if you just look on the seat, you'll see my own small personal contribution

so that you do not get lost in the capital of the mother country.

You're great, Arthur.

Mr Wonderful.

Wonderful, I'll tell you... Bye -bye, my dear. Come along, Terrence. Bye -bye.

Come on. I mean, you must have striped up over a monkey already. Mr Wonderful,

it's gross.

Gross? No, no, no, Terrence. It's the natural forces of supply and demand.

If the punter is pleased with a price he pays.

It would be perverse to place a parcel for Peanuts.

Pillock. Pardon?

Pass.

Precisely.

I'll manage to get it for one and a half.

I'll take the 200 marks for your trouble.

No skin off our nose.

Yeah. Well, I'm not too happy about it. I can tell them.

So where are they now?

Out looking for Gary.

Where do they think you are?

Oh, doing some more psych things, shopping alone.

Where are we meant to meet these girlfriends of yours anyway?

Some pub down by a canal.

I could have written down.

Did you tell them about me then?

I didn't have any option, did I?

But don't worry, they're as good as gold. Okay.

What do you reckon?

Was this it?

Don't you think it's ace?

It's a bit of a rust bucket, Dave.

Dave's story saw him. So he said, where?

Just down the road.

What, boozer, spieler, club, what?

No, just bumped him in the street.

Seems Gary's opened a wine bar there. At least that's what he told Dave he was

going to be. Wine bar? Gary Mitchell?

Well, apart from anything else, he'd never get a license.

That's what I said. But he told Dave he's got his brother fronting for him.

Brother? He's got a brother. He's got a sister somewhere.

I don't know. Maybe it's her brother -in -law.

Wine bar?

Well, it makes a change from impersonating police, doesn't it?

Hold up, hold up, that's him.

You're right, it is Terry.

Yeah, that is definitely him. Come on.

Oh, no, no, hang about.

What?

I made a promise, didn't I? Well, it doesn't stop us talking to the man.

After all the times, how things are going, doesn't it? You do all that at

wedding reception, can't you?

Ooh,

who's got the hump then?

Steve Rogers, Lisa, Sandra.

G'day. Is that it?

Yeah.

We've got four visits to make.

Arthur?

Is it true?

Is it true? Have you found Gary?

David, the club said that you'd... It is true, my dear. We have.

Oh, that's fantastic.

Where is he? Westbourne Grove.

Westbourne Grove?

Yeah. Something in a wine bar.

A wine bar? Apparently. Look, I've got the address here.

Terrific. Absolutely terrific.

You didn't talk to him then?

No, no, no, my dear.

Bearing in mind your request and the fact that my word is my bond, we did

know you think I'm being silly. Not at all, my dear.

Have we not all at some time or another been touched by love's little mystery

and romance?

Oh, you're a real fraud, Arthur. No, not at all.

You too, Terry.

Oh, my pleasure.

Will you two be around later?

Only, you know, if I see Gary and everything's OK, you know, perhaps we

have a drink together. Yeah, we'll be busy for the rest of the day, but

later at the club.

All right, sure, great, thank you. Ah, both of you. Been a privilege, my dear.

What a wonderful profit, eh?

The coat looks nice, doesn't it?

As good as the hat.

Don't see many of them about anymore, do you, Gav?

The car or the blonde?

He's in the loo. Won't be long. Yeah, right.

We ready then?

We'll be soon. Might as well all leave together.

Looks like they're having a day off, Gav.

Oh, yeah.

We'll maybe see you later, girls.

Yeah, maybe.

And don't forget, Craig, it's not our place. No sweat.

Have a nice day. Be lucky.

And you. Bye.

Maybe some people don't know how to flatten the house. Maybe.

Well, come on, then.

And let's see if we can stay with them this time, shall we?

Good job we called round before, Bobby. It's got to be better than paying

brewery prices, isn't it? Yeah, but hurry up if you can.

I'm expecting our rep round at any time. Lively, Terry, lively. Man's in hurry.

Why don't you have a few of these, then?

Would that my condition would allow.

It's nice to be in a moat that actually goes for a change.

Wouldn't it be better to move the archive along there a bit?

Oh, I don't think it can be done.

Hang on a minute. I'll have another look at the plans.

Well, good day, Gary.

Hello, Dee.

Oh, dear, did you... Never mind.

Oh, you bastard.

Did you really think you could get away with ripping me off?

Oh, now, wait a minute, love.

A cry sex, Dee?

I want what's mine, you bastard.

Now I think you'd better come along with us.

Come on, Dee, let's just get your bloody... Shift it, Paul.

All right, all right, don't get excited.

Another two loads, Terry, and we'll drop in for a well -earned drink at a

Winchester. Good, thank you.

I'll tell you what, can we stop off at my flat? I'll pick up those paints I

promised Dave. Yeah, yeah, I could do with a leak.

Okay, sport, you take a seat right there. I'll down the room, okay?

Oh, Christ.

What is it?

Arthur and Harry.

They're going to have a nice little surprise, aren't they?

Down my gate, I'll tell my son.

What do I do?

What are you doing?

What's this, a little joke?

This is no joke. It's for real.

Oh, my good God. I'm sorry about this, Terry.

We weren't expecting you back so soon.

Harper, what have you done to me?

Gary, me?

Nothing. She told me you two were madly in love. I don't understand.

Well, neither do I.

Well, it's quite simple, really. You see, this little worm, this friend of

yours, has ripped me off of what I consider to be at least, oh, 50 ,000 of

good old British sterling.

I've come to collect.

Is this true, Gary?

A misunderstanding, Till.

Misunderstanding crap.

Look, we're working this game together, right?

Partners for nearly two years.

Then we get this really big score and this bastard skips the country with my

share. Well, it wasn't just the weather getting warm down there, you know.

Hold on, hold on. Are you telling me that you were at it with him?

You got it. What, the IPO game?

Woman Detective Sergeant Rogers, Detective Inspector Mitchell.

Two of Sydney's finest.

I have to say this, my dear. I made a serious misjudgment of character about

you. Yes, well, I'm sorry, Arthur, but I'm sure even you will understand that

being taken for a lot of money isn't a very nice thing to do to someone.

I'm deeply shocked.

Nice girl. Never mind all that. What are we going to do? Yeah, well, before you

start, I've got to... You're going right where you are, Father.

No, no, no, hold on.

Listen, this is my gaff, right?

No, I don't want all this garbage in here.

I'll get enough aggro from the old bill without getting involved in other

people's wars.

so you can just stick that thing where you like it most and pick up all of

your... Go on. We're not going anywhere.

We're going to stay right here till we get this little bit of business sorted

out. OK, sport?

I don't think you've got a bottle, sport.

Ha!

Awful. Been ages.

How's your luck? Don't ask.

Yourself? Can't complain, can't complain.

Drink?

Did you know alcohol was a depressant? You do surprise me.

Dave. Where are you, Cam?

Usual? Yeah.

Don't suppose you'd be interested in a tasty leather jacket for your old lady,

would you?

Funny you should say that.

You all right?

I'll never be right again, Terry.

My nervous system has undergone the most terrible trauma.

Oh, that's Walter.

You're all right.

All right, all right, we know you're serious.

What now?

Well, that depends somewhat on the detective inspector here.

I ain't got it, Dee.

Bullshit. Straight up step motion in the wine bar, haven't I?

That place wouldn't be worth a quarter of what we had, even if property prices

are expensive in this city.

And you running a wine bar, well, that's a joke for a start.

I want me running it.

Silent owner, ain't I?

What you might call me retirement investment.

I want my share, you bastard.

The wine bar?

No, not the bloody wine bar. I'm serious, Gary. You better believe it.

Believe it, believe it, believe it. Oh, my God.

Look, we must be able to work this out.

Now, Arthur and I, we've been made to look right mugs in this little turnout,

right? So do us a favour.

What's it all about?

It's about $400 ,000 worth of jewellery which we acquired and he retained.

$400 ,000? That was the insurance value.

As well you know, Arthur, there ain't anything like what you'd get for a

Tom. How do you manage that?

Same old game, Tom.

Find out he's got a few quid and we're at it.

Or someone who tucks the odd valuables out of the taxman's sight.

Steaming at the old bill with a moody search warrant.

And comforts the county residents.

Funny thing just come through on the wire, Gav.

A man in Westbourne Grove was kidnapped at gunpoint.

What is funny about that? Well, it seems he was kidnapped by a woman and a man

with Australian accents.

And? Er, well, the thing is, I didn't connect it immediately, but when you

me talking to Ronnie, he said the Australian bird Arthur sold a fur coat

playing at Terry McCann's flat.

I can't quite work out all the intriguing combinations we have here,

But I intend to. Another thing that makes it even more puzzling, though,

Aldridge has rung me, and he says it's mournful Morrie who's dealing with the

oysters. Sid?

Let me have a mobile out the front as soon as you can.

You pay her, Gary. It's the only sensible thing to do.

He's right, you know.

Because apart from Ned Kelly's intentions here, I don't see that you've

choice, mate.

Because if you don't pay the lovely lady, I personally are going to pay you.

you get my meaning?

All right, tell.

But your whack don't come to no 50 grand, darling.

In the first place, you always top up the insurance value.

And that stuff was only worth, what, roughly 200 grand.

Tell her what you can bet you ever worked for that, Arthur.

Me? Well, how would I know? Come on!

Oh, well, we had brushed shoulders with people in bars who have discussed such

matters. Oh, for Christ's sake, you're not making out a statement to the old

Bill. Oh, 60 -odd grand, top whack!

Forty of which have already stuck into the wine bar, and that is fact.

Yes, all right.

I'll take the 20 grand you've still got.

Look, there's been a few incidental expenses along the way.

All I've got in ready is this 15 grand tucked under the floorboards.

That'll do, won't it?

Come on, you ghost. Take them to it. No.

You go and get it, Terry.

Gary and Arthur can stay here.

Insurance, though, you return.

I'm sorry, Princess, you're not on. Terry.

We all go together, and I don't care where we go, and then I'll go and

it. So what's the difference?

The difference, mastermind, is you and this Australian iron kidnapped him at

gunpoint in broad daylight, right?

And the car that you swagged him off in, which is the dot on the car to be

noticed, is parked outside my flat with half the old bill in London looking for

it.

Now, we all go, or you can spare and explain it to them yourselves.

Makes sense, Dee.

The girls won't go a lot on it, but we could use their place.

You know, it really depresses me, knocking out quality gear like this for

of what it's worth.

Horace, you're a real joy to work with, do you know that?

That's kind of you.

All right, I'll do that. Take a look round in there.

Right, Captain.

He's right.

Fifteen grand.

I've still only got the bastard's word for it that this is all that's left.

So what are you going to do, stay and argue about it, or get out while you're

front?

There's definitely a client who's been staying there, Gov.

Yeah. She's definitely not there now, though, is she?

Which leaves us with one possibility.

Well, it's been nice meeting you fellas. Not as rewarding as I'd hoped, but

nice. Yeah, but what about the motor and, uh... All the stuff at Terry's

Sell it, Arthur.

Well, you're so good at that.

And Terry.

I am sorry about the circumstances.

If things had been different, who knows? He might well have got lucky.

Now she tells me.

See you around, fellas.

G'day.

Now we're going to Heathrow, mate.

What have I got?

I think we've got a puncture, Gav. Yeah, that's not all.

We had one earlier.

And a spare's up the creek.

Oh, wonderful.

Well, thanks anyway, Phil.

And you both definitely get a drink out of it. That's a promise.

Stop it. What?

Oh, I tell you, I understand.

But you must have come round to the opening night in the wine bar.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm thinking of calling it Gems, by the way.

Well, I'm a sucker for sentiment, aren't I? See ya. Go on, on your bike.

What have you done?

Certain expenses were incurred, you know.

Listen, this thing ain't over with yet. If it does all come on top, I want to be

as uninvolved as possible. You got that?

Hold up.

Three wheels on your wagon.

I don't feel at all well, Terry.

Get me another car round here, will you?

Incredible. You are incredible.

Did you really expect me to swallow that little fairy tale? I can't understand

what you mean, Mr. Rycott.

I understand Sergeant Chisholm has nightmares about you daily.

Real ones.

Well, that is not going to happen to me.

You sold the lady in question the car with which she abducted that bloody

mystery man? It was an honest transaction, Mr. Rycock. One of my

trades, isn't it? Buying and selling motors.

There isn't a law against that, is there? There is against flogging bent

Now, that is a gross canard, Mr. Rycock. You have no evidence at all that I sold

a fur coat to anyone. None. You have been listening to malicious gossip and

rumours. Slanderous charges may have to be laid. Shut up, will you? Yeah, shut

up! Come on!

He had to let it go, didn't he? He had no choice.

Well, I think we had a right result considering.

What you're forgetting, Terry, is we were both genuine innocent parties in

unfortunate incident.

So we had to tell a few porkies to avoid all the aggravation. What you might

call natural justice.

Mournful. It's a very sad day for me, Arthur. Very sad indeed.

Never mind about that, Mournful. Come on, you're nicked. I'm being fitted,

Arthur. Send for my brief. I'm innocent.

You don't think Mournful would declare, do you? Mournful?

Nah, he's one of your own, isn't he?

Hey, hey.

You don't think... What?

Warty Matilda?

I do hope so.

Do I?

Come on, let's go and have a nice cup of tea.

I'll change the situation.

Right people, right time, just the wrong location.

I've got a good idea.

If you keep me near, I'll be so good for you. I could be so good for you.

Love you like you want me to.