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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:06,040 Thank you. 2 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:52,560 It'd be so good for you. 3 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:56,460 Love you like you want me to. 4 00:01:02,820 --> 00:01:04,879 It'd be so good for you. 5 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,920 Love you like you want me to. 6 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:32,059 Excuse me, sir. 7 00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:35,660 I was wondering... I've got to get to the hospital. Are there any buses? 8 00:01:36,020 --> 00:01:38,560 I'm not going that way. Anyone here? That's okay. 9 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:40,340 No, no, I'm sorry. I'm busy. 10 00:01:40,580 --> 00:01:41,580 A soldier of a queen. 11 00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:42,940 Get a bloody bus. 12 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:44,880 Thank you, sir. 13 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:52,180 Excuse me, sir. I've got to get to the hospital. 14 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:53,640 And the same to you, Graham. 15 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,200 Have you got a second, sir? 16 00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:00,580 I've got to get to the hospital. I was wondering if you could... 17 00:02:00,810 --> 00:02:01,810 Jump in, pal. 18 00:02:02,630 --> 00:02:03,730 It's Terry. 19 00:02:05,130 --> 00:02:07,270 Oh, thanks. 20 00:02:10,229 --> 00:02:12,090 Are you serious about the hospital? 21 00:02:13,470 --> 00:02:14,830 I'm working, for God's sake. 22 00:02:15,370 --> 00:02:16,710 Yeah, I'm sorry about that. 23 00:02:23,090 --> 00:02:26,990 So that's your game, is it? You catch a lift and then put the bite on them, eh? 24 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:28,330 Well, it's a living, Terry. 25 00:02:28,770 --> 00:02:29,770 A living. 26 00:02:30,140 --> 00:02:33,760 It's for the yarn. You've got, say, four minutes to make them feel guilty that 27 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,900 they've got an expensive motor and a man like myself hasn't even got a bus fare. 28 00:02:37,140 --> 00:02:38,079 It's a knack. 29 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:39,080 It's a flair. 30 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:41,440 The hospital. 31 00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:42,900 That always gets them. 32 00:02:43,700 --> 00:02:47,140 Mind you, some of them like to hear that you've just come out of prison. 33 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:48,480 Strange, isn't it? 34 00:02:49,260 --> 00:02:51,060 Five or ten are sometimes. 35 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:54,000 J .J. Mooney. 36 00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:56,980 Ah, how are the mighty fallen? 37 00:02:58,250 --> 00:03:00,210 I used to tell stories about you, you know. 38 00:03:01,110 --> 00:03:02,850 People couldn't believe what you did. 39 00:03:04,110 --> 00:03:05,110 I heard you were ill. 40 00:03:06,130 --> 00:03:07,130 Yes. 41 00:03:07,650 --> 00:03:08,710 That was a good one. 42 00:03:10,070 --> 00:03:13,430 Would you put up the front bedding shop, Terry, please? 43 00:03:14,390 --> 00:03:16,250 Would you put a bed on for me? 44 00:03:17,170 --> 00:03:18,350 You know, in and out of cars. 45 00:03:19,110 --> 00:03:20,110 Hard work. 46 00:03:21,570 --> 00:03:22,570 On the nose. 47 00:03:23,359 --> 00:03:25,100 Linda's friend, 4 o 'clock Newbury. 48 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:29,740 Here we go then. One ploughman's lunch. We haven't had a ploughman in here for a 49 00:03:29,740 --> 00:03:30,740 week or two. 50 00:03:30,820 --> 00:03:33,700 And here is a Campari soda. It's very agricultural. 51 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,080 It's my accountant. 52 00:03:35,260 --> 00:03:36,300 Give him a bit of pickle. 53 00:03:37,740 --> 00:03:38,740 Yeah, here we go. 54 00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:43,080 You know, Arthur, that would be like 5p extra. Oh, forget it. Well, I've served 55 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:43,579 you now. 56 00:03:43,580 --> 00:03:45,380 He'll tell you all about soaring over it. 57 00:03:46,740 --> 00:03:48,040 On the account, Arthur. 58 00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:51,540 Expenses, expenses. 59 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:55,440 Overheads, underheads, on top of everything else, they want taxes. 60 00:03:56,700 --> 00:03:59,220 Yeah, well, you haven't paid tax for five years, Arthur. 61 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:02,480 What I fancied today was a nice Chinese meal. 62 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,640 This is a business meeting, Andrew. 63 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:06,880 Well, don't they eat businessmen? 64 00:04:07,620 --> 00:04:09,280 Look, they are after you, Arthur. 65 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,400 Us? No, you. 66 00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:16,940 They want their pound of flesh, eh? I think they'd be quite happy to have two 67 00:04:16,940 --> 00:04:18,279 ounces of cheddar cheese. 68 00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:20,459 Five years, Arthur. 69 00:04:20,829 --> 00:04:22,410 And you have not paid a tosheroon. 70 00:04:22,890 --> 00:04:24,750 Tosheroon? Where do you get these words, Andrew? 71 00:04:25,710 --> 00:04:27,810 What is it with me? All my clients are the same. 72 00:04:28,110 --> 00:04:29,350 Well, you're mixed with the wrong people. 73 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:30,670 And don't I know it? 74 00:04:31,590 --> 00:04:34,070 They don't hold with the system, that's what it is. 75 00:04:35,030 --> 00:04:36,030 It's getting worse. 76 00:04:36,250 --> 00:04:37,810 They don't pay anyone. 77 00:04:39,290 --> 00:04:40,810 Incidentally, there's your last year's bill. 78 00:04:41,910 --> 00:04:43,330 You may have mislaid it, Arthur. 79 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:53,340 you wants to know about your expensive motor. 80 00:04:53,580 --> 00:04:55,580 But I explained that to you. 81 00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:56,900 I know. 82 00:04:57,060 --> 00:04:58,060 I know. 83 00:04:58,260 --> 00:05:03,160 But maybe you could explain it better to him. Sort of give him the verbal, man 84 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:04,160 to man. 85 00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:06,000 But that is what I pay you for. 86 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:08,740 I'm sorry. Did I hear the word pay? 87 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:11,260 Money. That's funny, isn't it, Andrew? 88 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,020 I went out with Stanley Matthews in long shorts. 89 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,900 Eat up. The pickle was extra. 90 00:05:17,620 --> 00:05:19,240 Is Arthur still game for a lark? 91 00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:21,860 Well, you're kind of luck. 92 00:05:22,140 --> 00:05:24,740 Well, I can't get around as much now. I need a partner. 93 00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:27,820 You know, someone who's straight, honest, hard -working. 94 00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:30,360 Lawyer. All those old -fashioned values. 95 00:05:31,420 --> 00:05:34,200 We are talking about Arthur Daly, aren't we? Yes, indeed. 96 00:05:35,020 --> 00:05:36,160 A good man, eh? 97 00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:39,580 Well, yeah, he's good as gold, Arthur. 98 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:54,360 We're inside the final furlong now. Being strongly challenged by Linda's 99 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:56,700 He's done it! 100 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:58,520 Got a winner, JJ! 101 00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:03,220 I don't care how many winners you get. Not you and me in business together. You 102 00:06:03,220 --> 00:06:04,079 are famous. 103 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,620 Famous for pulling more strokes than Oxford and Cambridge put together. 104 00:06:07,660 --> 00:06:09,220 You don't understand it, Arthur. 105 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:11,740 That's another thing. I don't. You do. 106 00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:14,820 We put an ad in the Sporting Life. 107 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:19,440 We get a little office with a good poster address. We get three telephones. 108 00:06:19,950 --> 00:06:21,050 Now, we don't ask for money. 109 00:06:21,470 --> 00:06:22,470 We don't what? 110 00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:23,770 No fees from the clients. 111 00:06:24,010 --> 00:06:26,730 They phone us, we give them a horse. All we ask is this. 112 00:06:27,270 --> 00:06:31,430 If you bet, put on ten pounds for us, and if it wins, please send a cheque or 113 00:06:31,430 --> 00:06:33,290 postal order to this address. 114 00:06:33,770 --> 00:06:35,650 That's our commission. 115 00:06:36,010 --> 00:06:37,190 They've got to be balmy. 116 00:06:37,710 --> 00:06:38,990 Don't you believe in trust, Arthur? 117 00:06:39,290 --> 00:06:43,770 Oh. The commercial world is based on trust. Don't you realise that? That's 118 00:06:43,770 --> 00:06:44,950 system. You pay your debts. 119 00:06:45,590 --> 00:06:46,670 You work for a factory. 120 00:06:47,310 --> 00:06:49,670 They give you your wages at the end of the week. Trust, see? 121 00:06:50,230 --> 00:06:51,610 You win the pools, they give you money. 122 00:06:51,930 --> 00:06:52,789 That's trust. 123 00:06:52,790 --> 00:06:53,790 Rent. 124 00:06:54,190 --> 00:06:55,190 That's trust. 125 00:06:55,970 --> 00:06:58,950 Well, there are a few transgressors like ourselves. That's why they have laws. 126 00:06:59,410 --> 00:07:01,930 Yeah, and we'll be breaking all of them. Not at all. 127 00:07:02,450 --> 00:07:06,250 We are selling an advisory service. We are consultants. 128 00:07:06,790 --> 00:07:07,790 It's quite legal. 129 00:07:09,190 --> 00:07:10,690 I'll even put up all the money myself. 130 00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:13,329 You will? 131 00:07:13,330 --> 00:07:14,330 That's my shot. 132 00:07:16,230 --> 00:07:18,090 You'll put up all the dough? 133 00:07:18,390 --> 00:07:19,390 Yes. 134 00:07:19,620 --> 00:07:20,620 What's the SP, Terry? 135 00:07:21,260 --> 00:07:22,260 Six to one. 136 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:26,820 Good. In that case, I think we'll broach a bottle and more. What? My pleasure, 137 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,780 JJ, but it is 17 pound a bottle. 138 00:07:29,020 --> 00:07:30,020 Why not? 139 00:07:30,140 --> 00:07:33,360 Look, let me get this straight. You heard, Arthur, you heard. 140 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:35,100 Could you cash me a wee check? 141 00:07:35,420 --> 00:07:36,440 Well, no disrespect. 142 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:37,800 No matter. 143 00:07:38,020 --> 00:07:39,220 Here we are. Sign them all. 144 00:07:39,820 --> 00:07:40,679 Three glasses? 145 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:43,340 And one for yourself, Dave. Well, are we in or out, Arthur? 146 00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:48,060 Well, um... You'll be needing some walking around money, won't you? How 147 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:49,120 um... 148 00:07:50,159 --> 00:07:51,320 300 on account. 149 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:54,800 I'm investing in your energy and acumen, Arthur. 150 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,820 As it happens, J .J., you're a very good judge. 151 00:07:57,100 --> 00:07:58,760 Look at that. Parsley stands in the west. 152 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:04,060 Well, here's to a fruitful partnership. 153 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:05,440 Good luck. 154 00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:39,530 Well, here's to a successful business venture, Arthur. 155 00:08:39,890 --> 00:08:41,350 It's a privilege to work with a man. 156 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,090 Aren't we the lucky ones, eh? 157 00:08:46,710 --> 00:08:47,710 Birthday. 158 00:08:48,450 --> 00:08:49,490 Rebate from the rates. 159 00:08:49,990 --> 00:08:53,090 Have your usual half a bitter, will you, Mr Chisholm? Yeah, just the line of 160 00:08:53,090 --> 00:08:54,170 duty. I'll have a scotch. 161 00:08:55,110 --> 00:08:59,850 Did I just see young Terry with a remarkable J .J. Mooney? 162 00:09:01,310 --> 00:09:02,310 No idea. 163 00:09:02,530 --> 00:09:03,530 Why, is it a crime? 164 00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:04,750 You never know. 165 00:09:05,290 --> 00:09:08,090 He's just turned over the London Clinic for 13 grand. 166 00:09:08,390 --> 00:09:10,270 Eh? Open -heart surgery. 167 00:09:10,890 --> 00:09:13,870 That's two and a half grand for the Grand Hotel in Brighton for his 168 00:09:13,870 --> 00:09:16,130 convalescence. Got some style, hasn't he? 169 00:09:16,530 --> 00:09:19,630 London Clinic, eh? Liz Taylor had her operation there. 170 00:09:19,830 --> 00:09:20,449 No doubt. 171 00:09:20,450 --> 00:09:23,370 Richard Burton, the Sheik of Araby and Uncle Tom Copley and all. 172 00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:26,970 Well, you'll be able to get him in about ten years' time when they change his 173 00:09:26,970 --> 00:09:28,170 batteries on his pacemaker. 174 00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:29,650 They'll get him. 175 00:09:30,790 --> 00:09:33,610 You never heard of Sprott of the Yard? No. 176 00:09:34,150 --> 00:09:36,170 Sprott's life ambition was to nick JJ. 177 00:09:37,350 --> 00:09:39,710 So he got nicked himself by her own Gestapo. 178 00:09:41,150 --> 00:09:42,690 Somebody else will get JJ. 179 00:09:43,310 --> 00:09:45,830 Is that the best you people can do? A sick man? 180 00:09:46,230 --> 00:09:47,590 Bank robberies every day? 181 00:09:47,810 --> 00:09:49,410 Bomb outrages with terrorists? 182 00:09:49,610 --> 00:09:50,770 Rape right on the streets? 183 00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:51,990 Oh, dear, Arthur. 184 00:09:52,170 --> 00:09:53,730 Haven't been interfered with, have you? 185 00:09:53,950 --> 00:09:54,970 Oh, very droll. 186 00:09:55,510 --> 00:09:58,230 JJ was an hero during the war. Highly educated. 187 00:09:58,530 --> 00:10:00,770 One of the best. One of nature's gentlemen. 188 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:04,980 Pure gold. That's enough, Arthur. Cool, dear. Do you owe him money or something? 189 00:10:06,020 --> 00:10:08,660 Me? No, I hardly even know the man. 190 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,480 I always knew you were a top, but I had to get away with it, eh? 191 00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:30,320 It's experience and a little bit of flair. 192 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:31,920 No, Terry. 193 00:10:32,140 --> 00:10:34,360 You have to believe in it. It's like sanity. 194 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:36,120 Who do you want to be? 195 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,400 A lord of the realm, an international financier, a well -known theatrical 196 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,240 impresario? Then be that person. 197 00:10:42,060 --> 00:10:43,160 It's a good personality. 198 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:44,800 A dozen personalities. 199 00:10:45,620 --> 00:10:46,620 See you tomorrow, Terry. 200 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:47,960 Yeah, cheers. 201 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:54,280 J .J.! 202 00:11:32,010 --> 00:11:32,949 Hiya, Georgie. 203 00:11:32,950 --> 00:11:34,350 Hi. 204 00:11:41,890 --> 00:11:43,290 Yeah, 205 00:11:45,070 --> 00:11:46,630 alright, hang on. 206 00:12:01,210 --> 00:12:04,590 Have you got anything for me today, mate? Yeah, four parcels. Nothing for 207 00:12:04,630 --> 00:12:08,930 chief. Harry, Harry, take care of that. Can I have a minute with you? Sorry, 208 00:12:10,670 --> 00:12:11,670 darling. 209 00:12:11,770 --> 00:12:12,770 Hello, Arthur. 210 00:12:13,510 --> 00:12:15,590 Great, great. I need an address. 211 00:12:15,890 --> 00:12:16,769 Yeah, all right, pal. 212 00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:18,650 The point is, I need it immediately. 213 00:12:19,070 --> 00:12:19,849 Excuse me, mate. 214 00:12:19,850 --> 00:12:20,850 Are you there? 215 00:12:21,300 --> 00:12:23,440 The point is... What are you in, Ernie? 216 00:12:24,020 --> 00:12:28,040 Oriental carpets. I'm getting a check. I'm buying a carpet from a fella, no 217 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:31,240 overage. You got anything for British Medallion? No, nothing. 218 00:12:31,580 --> 00:12:33,380 The thing is, I need your address. 219 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,580 You know, B1984, Medallion. 220 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:39,180 Royal Strait, that was OK, but literally things like that. 221 00:12:39,780 --> 00:12:40,820 I don't know, Ricky. 222 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:42,280 What do you want, Arthur? 223 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,880 Consultancy. Can't go wrong, mate. We've done consultancy. 224 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:47,440 Phyllis Immobella. 225 00:12:47,940 --> 00:12:48,940 I don't know. 226 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:52,640 Oh, yeah, Mayfair course consultant. It's very nice. 227 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:54,440 You can walk from Mayfair to here. 228 00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:55,519 Oi, you. 229 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:57,200 Oi. Oh, don't touch. All right? 230 00:12:57,460 --> 00:12:58,460 Hang a Bombay. 231 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:00,900 Sorry? Yeah, I'm sorry, too. Nothing. 232 00:13:01,340 --> 00:13:04,220 Now, look, it's 50 lids for a week, along and for free. Yeah, well, look, 233 00:13:04,220 --> 00:13:07,500 is a long -established firm. It could go on for a long time. All right, fair 234 00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:10,980 enough. Hello, look, I've only got a letter for you from customs and excise. 235 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,260 Yeah, well, it's not my bloody fault, is it? 236 00:13:13,780 --> 00:13:17,740 What? You hung up? Yeah. All right, then, look, if we're in business in six 237 00:13:17,740 --> 00:13:19,540 weeks, we'll have another chat. No, Mo! 238 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:21,260 What is it, Caledonian Forest? 239 00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:25,660 No, that was last month. The forest in Snowdonia Limited now. Oh, yeah. Here we 240 00:13:25,660 --> 00:13:26,319 are, five. 241 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:27,079 Be lucky. 242 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:28,620 Thanks, Mo. Now, are we in business or not? 243 00:13:28,940 --> 00:13:32,180 No, look, we expect the first load in about four days. OK, you'll have your 244 00:13:32,180 --> 00:13:34,640 on the door. Yeah, well, you'll need a bigger door, won't you? Where is it, 245 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:35,700 then? And I shall need a receipt. 246 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:36,909 You what? 247 00:13:36,910 --> 00:13:38,250 Well, we're a bona fide business. 248 00:13:38,630 --> 00:13:39,730 I mean, what would my accountant think? 249 00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:43,670 All right, you give me your full name and address and number, just in case 250 00:13:43,670 --> 00:13:44,830 someone wants to find you. 251 00:13:45,110 --> 00:13:47,130 We don't trust each other. Where are we? 252 00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:50,290 Moe, innit? Yeah, my very own sentiment. 253 00:13:50,810 --> 00:13:55,370 Arthur. That is the name. That's right, Moe. Here, Moe, this way, boy. You what? 254 00:13:55,530 --> 00:13:59,130 Do it yourself, for your own racing tips. Don't try anything, will you, 255 00:13:59,150 --> 00:14:01,070 Now, come on, Moe, where's my full parcels? 256 00:14:01,330 --> 00:14:02,330 You're standing on it. 257 00:14:02,770 --> 00:14:04,250 That letterheading's all right, innit? 258 00:14:04,870 --> 00:14:05,870 Hmm. 259 00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:07,250 Far, eh? 260 00:14:07,690 --> 00:14:08,690 West 1. 261 00:14:09,170 --> 00:14:11,770 It's the wrong side of Oxford Street, but who cares? 262 00:14:12,750 --> 00:14:13,970 Who are all these directors? 263 00:14:14,430 --> 00:14:15,690 Guy Ernest MBE. 264 00:14:16,310 --> 00:14:17,310 That's me. 265 00:14:17,430 --> 00:14:18,610 I've used that name before. 266 00:14:19,330 --> 00:14:20,330 Lucas Herman. 267 00:14:21,010 --> 00:14:22,010 Just a fella. 268 00:14:22,390 --> 00:14:23,650 And Sir John Franklin? 269 00:14:24,150 --> 00:14:25,150 He's a boozer. 270 00:14:25,210 --> 00:14:28,790 Oh, more to the point, it is a boozer. It's a pub in the East India Dock Road. 271 00:14:29,110 --> 00:14:32,470 They love a title in this country, particularly the Racing Fraternity. 272 00:14:33,010 --> 00:14:34,550 Yeah, well, where's Sir Arthur? 273 00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:36,130 Looking for telephones. 274 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:05,160 Well, doesn't it work? 275 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:06,400 Yeah, yeah. Lovely. 276 00:15:12,580 --> 00:15:14,680 Was it broken, then? No, no, no. OK. 277 00:15:14,940 --> 00:15:17,000 Only I like to keep the hooligans out. 278 00:15:17,340 --> 00:15:19,220 Oh, yeah. Man after me own heart. 279 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:24,180 You're the governor, yeah? Yes, I am in charge here. A credit to British Rail, 280 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:25,280 if I may say so. 281 00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,300 That one all right? Good as gold. 282 00:15:34,110 --> 00:15:36,650 You don't mind my asking, but are you from the GPO? 283 00:15:36,910 --> 00:15:40,390 No, no, not exactly, but I am what you might call a telecom expert. 284 00:15:41,050 --> 00:15:42,930 If you know what I mean. Oh, yes. 285 00:15:43,170 --> 00:15:46,050 You don't happen to have the odd 10p on you, do you? 286 00:15:46,330 --> 00:15:47,309 Oh, yes. 287 00:15:47,310 --> 00:15:48,310 Yes, sir. 288 00:15:48,390 --> 00:15:49,390 Right. 289 00:15:49,790 --> 00:15:50,689 Here you are. 290 00:15:50,690 --> 00:15:51,629 Oh, tough. 291 00:15:51,630 --> 00:15:52,630 Yeah. 292 00:15:56,090 --> 00:15:57,090 That's all right, I'll get that. 293 00:15:58,350 --> 00:15:59,350 Daily Enterprises. 294 00:16:03,050 --> 00:16:06,250 Terry? It's old JJ there. I've got some good news for him. 295 00:16:08,190 --> 00:16:10,410 Hello, Arthur. Hello, JJ. We've cracked it. 296 00:16:10,610 --> 00:16:12,670 I've found an office with three phones. 297 00:16:13,790 --> 00:16:14,790 Good, innit? 298 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,920 Not too near the edge, sir. No, no. 299 00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:39,580 Nice station. 300 00:16:39,740 --> 00:16:41,520 Yeah, it's like being in the country. 301 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:43,400 Yeah. Not much traffic. 302 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,520 Oh, I don't know. You'd be surprised. 303 00:16:45,860 --> 00:16:48,100 I mean, the 410 to Broad Street? 304 00:16:48,380 --> 00:16:50,040 Due in five and a half minutes. Oh, nice. 305 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:51,320 I like to see that. 306 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:55,420 Now, what I meant was, it's not exactly Waterloo. Ah, you used to work there. 307 00:16:55,620 --> 00:16:56,259 Oh, yeah. 308 00:16:56,260 --> 00:16:58,300 Still, this place suits me, for now. 309 00:16:58,960 --> 00:16:59,960 Plenty of bunts. 310 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,340 Well, you know, fringe benefits. 311 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,819 I mean, apart from the odd excursion to Broad Street. 312 00:17:05,260 --> 00:17:07,380 Oh, we got a nice darts league. 313 00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,020 Oh, a bit of a sportsman, eh? 314 00:17:09,599 --> 00:17:13,380 Well, as I'm sure you realise, I'm the area manager for one of the big 315 00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:14,560 multinationals. Really? 316 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:17,119 Yeah, yeah, and I'm always dashing all over the place, you know. 317 00:17:17,339 --> 00:17:20,240 And my sales staff find it very difficult to get a hold of me sometimes. 318 00:17:21,339 --> 00:17:24,720 Three public telephones and they'd be able to get a hold of me. 319 00:17:24,980 --> 00:17:26,060 What can I do, then? 320 00:17:26,660 --> 00:17:31,400 Well, if you was to put some stickers on the kiosks saying, out of order... 321 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:38,360 for, say, between 11am and 2pm, and keep an eye out for any vandals, I mean, you 322 00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:41,580 would not only be helping your country and me, but also yourself. 323 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:45,000 Well, I'm not altogether sure that... You're not thinking for one moment it's 324 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,680 illegal, are you? I mean, would I suggest that? 325 00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:50,320 Well, I don't know. No, no, no, of course not. No, no, I talked to our 326 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,000 department and they said no sweat. 327 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:56,180 And, I mean, it's got to be more interesting than watching Jimmy Savile 328 00:17:56,180 --> 00:17:58,520 out the window every time a train goes through, isn't it? Oh, yes. 329 00:17:59,710 --> 00:18:01,330 Why do you need three phones? 330 00:18:02,530 --> 00:18:03,530 New York. 331 00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:05,170 Chicago. 332 00:18:05,370 --> 00:18:06,370 Paris. 333 00:18:07,110 --> 00:18:08,110 Amsterdam. 334 00:18:08,990 --> 00:18:11,990 Melbourne. I mean, there's lots of people trying to get in touch with me. 335 00:18:12,390 --> 00:18:13,810 Contracts. Jobs for British workers. 336 00:18:14,030 --> 00:18:17,250 And what am I doing? I'm on a dog and bone to San Francisco, and a geezer from 337 00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:18,450 Milan's getting an engage signal. 338 00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:21,590 Now, if he had another number, we'd be in business. 339 00:18:22,210 --> 00:18:26,850 You see, I drive from Southampton to my office in Mayfair, and I stop here. It's 340 00:18:26,850 --> 00:18:28,130 the perfect place. Key point. 341 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,780 I mean, you may call this Acton Green. 342 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,800 I call it Providence. 343 00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:58,470 That's confidential. 344 00:18:59,090 --> 00:19:00,730 It's got to be a wind -up, innit? 345 00:19:01,130 --> 00:19:02,850 We are selling information. 346 00:19:03,270 --> 00:19:06,790 If you phone us on one of these telephone numbers, we will give you our 347 00:19:06,790 --> 00:19:11,990 considered expert selections for free races for half a... I don't believe it. 348 00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:13,750 Hold up, hold up. It gets better, look. 349 00:19:14,030 --> 00:19:18,990 We know what's in it. When you put down your heavy wager, include a £10 bet for 350 00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:20,570 us. That's our commission. 351 00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:26,750 You pay only when you win. We are trusting you just as you are trusting 352 00:19:27,020 --> 00:19:30,320 A spirited rendition. You'd better get down to the old Vic. Old Bailey, more 353 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:33,140 likely. Look, don't printers take an oath like doctors or something? 354 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:36,340 They don't answer that. You are privy to very secret information. 355 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:37,840 Don't upset yourself, Arthur. 356 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:39,980 Are you a betting man, sir? 357 00:19:40,620 --> 00:19:41,700 Yeah, I like a pun. 358 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,420 Well, in that case, you of all people should know that there is good 359 00:19:44,420 --> 00:19:47,900 information, good connections, good sources. That's the way professionals 360 00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:48,619 their living. 361 00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:51,540 5 ,000 people wrote to us, sir. We didn't ask them to. 362 00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:53,940 Would you like a tip for tomorrow? 363 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:55,480 What? 364 00:19:55,639 --> 00:19:58,120 Dunlop's horse from the 330. John's an old friend of mine. 365 00:19:58,400 --> 00:19:59,400 Yeah? 366 00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:00,500 Punch, oh, punch. 367 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:01,840 11 or 2, they reckon. 368 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,180 Obviously, I can't guarantee that it'll win. 369 00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:09,160 But would you like to give me a tenner now for the information or £55 less tax 370 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:10,520 after it wins? 371 00:20:11,580 --> 00:20:16,200 It's, uh, it's a good 'un, is it? Look, this is JJ, not your scout or Captain 372 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:17,680 Cohen or whatever his name is. 373 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:19,799 All right. 374 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:20,920 I'll give you a tenner. 375 00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:22,360 Take it off the bill. 376 00:20:22,700 --> 00:20:23,700 Are they ready now? 377 00:20:23,930 --> 00:20:25,710 Yeah. Right, let's have a look at the car, son. 378 00:20:29,290 --> 00:20:30,290 Never mind. 379 00:20:31,010 --> 00:20:33,390 The next guy phones up, I'll give him three other names. 380 00:20:33,970 --> 00:20:37,830 Then the next guy, three other horses. Then I'll go back to the first horses if 381 00:20:37,830 --> 00:20:38,910 somebody else phones. 382 00:20:39,730 --> 00:20:42,810 Simple, isn't it? All the great ideas in history were simple, my son. 383 00:20:43,470 --> 00:20:44,550 Were they immoral and all? 384 00:20:44,850 --> 00:20:46,250 You couldn't even spell that. 385 00:20:47,050 --> 00:20:48,790 There's nothing immoral about it. 386 00:20:49,090 --> 00:20:51,250 All the national papers give their daily nap. 387 00:20:51,660 --> 00:20:53,560 JJ is using the same form book. 388 00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:55,960 You're always going on about improving yourself. 389 00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,040 This is it. This is an office job. 390 00:20:58,640 --> 00:20:59,640 Receptionist come manager. 391 00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:01,300 Responsibility. 392 00:21:01,700 --> 00:21:02,700 There you are. 393 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:04,440 What? There it is. 394 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:06,760 Where's the office? 395 00:21:07,020 --> 00:21:08,400 That is it. 396 00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:11,780 Hold on. Do you mean I'm minding three public phones? 397 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,420 What's wrong with that? You're always saying you like open -air jobs. 398 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:18,080 I'll get nicked. Of course you won't get nicked. Look at the stickers. 399 00:21:18,340 --> 00:21:19,340 Out of order. 400 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:23,320 You're out of order. No, no, Terry, Terry, Terry. The railway man is on the 401 00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:24,940 firm. Look, there he is now. 402 00:21:25,340 --> 00:21:26,740 Simple, working -class hero. 403 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,440 One of the last corporals of life. 404 00:21:29,820 --> 00:21:30,820 Salt of the earth. 405 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,360 Cool, you can't pick and card, you. 406 00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:34,659 Well, I see you. 407 00:21:34,660 --> 00:21:37,760 Now, hold on, hold on. Look, can't you at least take the first call? Oh, I 408 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,780 could, Terry, but I have got to go and meet the inspector of taxes. 409 00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:43,640 Eh? Yeah, I've got to go home and change in my inland revenue set. 410 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,700 You see, you don't have all these troubles. You are a free spirit. 411 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:50,560 I am the one who has to fend off all these busybodies, marshal the ranks and 412 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,060 official them, so that you and me can get a decent crust. 413 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:59,200 Hey, Terry, when you have a moment, clean them out, will you? They're done 414 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:00,200 penning. 415 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,360 What's happened? Everything out of order? 416 00:22:12,420 --> 00:22:14,600 Um... Well, do you want to phone someone? 417 00:22:15,540 --> 00:22:16,540 Not really. 418 00:22:17,940 --> 00:22:18,940 Oh. 419 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:23,260 That might be for me. 420 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:27,580 No, it's probably for me. Well, my man phones me every week. It's a nightclub 421 00:22:27,580 --> 00:22:30,440 Nairobi's Hilton. That's why he's got access to the phone. Well, I'll just 422 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:31,720 it. All right, dear? All right. 423 00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:33,120 Hello, 424 00:22:36,660 --> 00:22:38,180 Mayfair Calls Consultants. 425 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:49,900 I don't want to look too flesh. 426 00:22:51,620 --> 00:22:53,940 You're not going to cry, are you? Of course not. 427 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,480 I'm not after sympathy, Andrew. 428 00:22:56,980 --> 00:22:57,980 I'm after money. 429 00:22:58,400 --> 00:22:59,820 A little limp, perhaps. 430 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,700 Hello, Mayfair Coast Consultants. 431 00:23:17,540 --> 00:23:19,180 Yeah, can I have your club number, please? 432 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:22,960 Yes, we have three selections today, yes. 433 00:23:23,300 --> 00:23:25,520 The first one we have great hope for. Hello? 434 00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:26,920 Pardon? 435 00:23:27,180 --> 00:23:29,480 James McIntyre? No, no, no, no. Is that Robbie? No, 436 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:31,520 the name's Flying Duck. 437 00:23:32,180 --> 00:23:33,180 Hold on. 438 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:35,560 Kempton, three o 'clock, Flying Duck. 439 00:23:36,100 --> 00:23:39,320 Excellent. Yeah, Flying Duck, Kempton, three o 'clock. Who wants the 440 00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,140 What? Selections. 441 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,400 Could you hang on one moment, please, sir? Thank you. 442 00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:50,340 Look. Uh -huh. Tell him that name. Uh -huh. That name. Uh -huh. And that name, 443 00:23:50,340 --> 00:23:51,340 right? Right. 444 00:23:51,700 --> 00:23:52,900 Oi, oi. Excuse me. 445 00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:55,080 Get his club number. Club number. 446 00:23:56,120 --> 00:23:58,540 Hello, sir. Sorry about that. Yeah. Yes, got it. 447 00:23:58,980 --> 00:23:59,980 Where were we now? 448 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:02,000 Yes. 449 00:24:02,180 --> 00:24:09,000 I have got a company, but in name only. I mean, it's not active. It's just a 450 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:12,840 sentimental thing, you know. I mean, when this great country gets back on its 451 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:13,880 feet, I'll be ready. 452 00:24:14,780 --> 00:24:17,540 No, no, no, nowadays I'm more or less semi -retired, sir. 453 00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:22,360 But you've got some company assets, for example, a Jaguar car. 454 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,820 Oh, no, no, that's not mine. Oh, no, you've got all that wrong. 455 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:27,640 That's my uncle's. 456 00:24:28,140 --> 00:24:29,800 That's an old man's folly, I'm afraid. 457 00:24:30,340 --> 00:24:34,340 I said to him, I said, Uncle Sid, I mean, what do you want with a car like 458 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,460 I mean, you've been old age pension and everything. 459 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:38,760 And do you know what he said? 460 00:24:38,900 --> 00:24:42,600 He said, Arthur, you use it, because you've got no wheels of your own. 461 00:24:43,340 --> 00:24:44,340 Isn't that nice? 462 00:24:44,570 --> 00:24:46,430 No, no, I just keep it for him. 463 00:24:46,890 --> 00:24:49,510 But you do use the car for work. 464 00:24:49,770 --> 00:24:51,110 Sorry? Work. 465 00:24:51,730 --> 00:24:54,070 Me? A man of my age? No, no. 466 00:24:54,470 --> 00:24:56,650 No, they don't want mature, experienced men. 467 00:24:56,950 --> 00:25:02,190 No, I just use it to take the old folk down to the Derby and Joan Club and 468 00:25:02,190 --> 00:25:04,330 people who have to go to hospital. 469 00:25:06,330 --> 00:25:07,750 Elections are no favours. 470 00:25:07,970 --> 00:25:11,330 I don't care who they vote for. If it's some old loony, I'll take them down to 471 00:25:11,330 --> 00:25:12,330 polling station. 472 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,800 Yeah, I'm into charity and good deeds, you know. 473 00:25:16,140 --> 00:25:18,060 Excuse me, could you tell me the right time? 474 00:25:20,060 --> 00:25:21,060 Course to 11. 475 00:25:21,180 --> 00:25:22,320 My lovely Carol. 476 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:23,700 You have a watch. 477 00:25:24,780 --> 00:25:26,760 Wish I could have a simple watch. 478 00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:31,400 I suppose nowadays that would be unnecessary extravagance, nowadays, 479 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:32,359 it? 480 00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:34,540 Perhaps you'll find one in your lock -up. 481 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:35,840 My lock -up? 482 00:25:36,420 --> 00:25:38,360 Is that what this interrogation's all about? 483 00:25:38,660 --> 00:25:39,660 Just an interview. 484 00:25:39,740 --> 00:25:41,060 I don't care what you call it. 485 00:25:42,220 --> 00:25:44,200 Didn't you tell the man about my lock -up? 486 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:46,940 Odds and ends, I said. 487 00:25:47,220 --> 00:25:48,220 My hobbies? 488 00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:50,600 What hobbies? 489 00:25:50,820 --> 00:25:51,820 Making things. 490 00:25:52,700 --> 00:25:54,760 Oh, those things. 491 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:56,000 What things? 492 00:25:56,180 --> 00:25:57,180 Wooden things. 493 00:25:57,500 --> 00:25:59,820 Toys, mostly. Toys for deprived kiddies. 494 00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:05,720 Hello? Mayfair calls consultants. 495 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:09,920 Mayfair calls consultants? Yes, yes. 496 00:26:10,620 --> 00:26:11,660 Yes, it is. Do what? 497 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,900 I've got three for you. Nice, son. 498 00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:15,540 Magic mark. 499 00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:18,080 Hang on. Have you got that down? 500 00:26:18,360 --> 00:26:19,019 Just wait. 501 00:26:19,020 --> 00:26:21,360 Have you got that down? It's him. 502 00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:23,220 Tell him to hang on a minute. 503 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:25,840 Jones boy. 504 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:27,200 You got that? 505 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:28,540 Jones boy. Can you hang on a minute? 506 00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:29,760 Give us your number. 507 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:34,420 Can I ask you how you get by? What with food, rent, clothes, the occasional 508 00:26:34,420 --> 00:26:37,720 drink? Question I ask myself, sir, many times. 509 00:26:38,820 --> 00:26:39,820 Bingo, I suppose. 510 00:26:40,550 --> 00:26:42,350 Bingo. Well, it's all down to her indoors. 511 00:26:42,770 --> 00:26:44,050 She manages wonderfully. 512 00:26:44,310 --> 00:26:46,610 Little Metro, two children at a private school. 513 00:26:47,070 --> 00:26:50,110 I know, it's incredible, isn't it? I do not know how she does it. She is an 514 00:26:50,110 --> 00:26:51,110 incredible woman. 515 00:26:52,530 --> 00:26:57,230 Between you and me, I think she's got a few pennies in the post office. 516 00:26:59,730 --> 00:27:02,490 I suppose she has, Mr. Bentley. 517 00:27:06,910 --> 00:27:08,470 Oi, what's occurring? 518 00:27:10,090 --> 00:27:13,330 Well, as far as I can make out, there's a load of midgets trying to kill 519 00:27:13,330 --> 00:27:14,390 themselves on little bicycles. 520 00:27:14,970 --> 00:27:16,610 No, I mean, what's occurring with these phones? 521 00:27:18,230 --> 00:27:19,610 There's a lady making a phone call. 522 00:27:20,010 --> 00:27:21,530 Yeah, well, we live around here. 523 00:27:22,330 --> 00:27:23,330 That's nice. 524 00:27:23,770 --> 00:27:25,250 Yeah, but you don't live around here. 525 00:27:25,730 --> 00:27:29,670 So? Well, we live around here. You just said that. I'm just saying, aren't I? 526 00:27:30,690 --> 00:27:31,690 Terrific. 527 00:27:33,970 --> 00:27:34,970 Gonna be here tomorrow? 528 00:27:35,330 --> 00:27:36,330 What's it to you? 529 00:27:37,230 --> 00:27:39,670 Well... Because sometimes we have to use these phones. 530 00:27:40,870 --> 00:27:43,770 Well, you save up. When you've got 10p, it's all yours. 531 00:27:51,690 --> 00:27:52,690 All right? 532 00:27:52,790 --> 00:27:54,550 Oh, well, I am deeply impressed. 533 00:27:54,870 --> 00:27:56,050 But I'll tell you what they are. 534 00:27:56,670 --> 00:28:01,390 They are after you now. A tax man is not like a clever dick. And that's what you 535 00:28:01,390 --> 00:28:02,750 are. What can I do? 536 00:28:03,590 --> 00:28:04,590 Well, you know this. 537 00:28:05,210 --> 00:28:07,910 But they got Al Capone on tax, yeah? And look what happened to him. 538 00:28:08,630 --> 00:28:10,610 Well, that's it. Two o 'clock, the office is closed. 539 00:28:10,870 --> 00:28:12,230 Ah. Listen, my name's Terry. 540 00:28:12,570 --> 00:28:13,570 Pat Ford. 541 00:28:13,770 --> 00:28:17,110 Nice one. Listen, thanks for all this. Terrific. You think we've earned a 542 00:28:17,170 --> 00:28:17,609 don't you? 543 00:28:17,610 --> 00:28:18,589 Absolutely, Terry. 544 00:28:18,590 --> 00:28:20,990 Oh, but before, can I pop into the betting shop? 545 00:28:22,130 --> 00:28:23,190 Are you sure, Pat? 546 00:28:54,100 --> 00:28:55,400 How'd I win it then, Arthur? 547 00:28:55,940 --> 00:28:57,780 I'm always on a winner, my son. 548 00:29:02,380 --> 00:29:04,020 Oh, dear, I'm ever so sorry. 549 00:29:05,500 --> 00:29:06,500 I know what you did for it. 550 00:29:08,270 --> 00:29:09,970 Have we got a result or haven't we? 551 00:29:10,350 --> 00:29:12,390 Yeah, of course. I'll see you tomorrow then. 552 00:29:12,770 --> 00:29:14,250 Yeah, all right. Sorry. Hello. 553 00:29:15,630 --> 00:29:18,630 I'll have a large one. Have you seen it? What? Three winners. 554 00:29:19,250 --> 00:29:22,390 We've done it. What I'm worried about now is can we expect the right amounts 555 00:29:22,390 --> 00:29:24,830 from the punters? I mean, will they send their fees? Listen, I've just had a 556 00:29:24,830 --> 00:29:27,410 telephone. You've got to remember there's a lot of dishonesty about these 557 00:29:27,550 --> 00:29:28,770 How many calls did you take? 558 00:29:29,290 --> 00:29:31,670 Oh, about 300, but that... No, that is incredible. 559 00:29:31,970 --> 00:29:34,790 I mean, if one in three puts a bet on, and the starting prices were all right, 560 00:29:34,870 --> 00:29:37,990 magic mark was nine to two, that's 40 quid for us. Will you listen to me a 561 00:29:37,990 --> 00:29:40,230 minute? I have my doubts about whether they'll send the money. 562 00:29:40,450 --> 00:29:41,510 Old JJ reckons they will. 563 00:29:42,610 --> 00:29:44,690 Oh, you've thought about poor old JJ at last, have you? 564 00:29:45,050 --> 00:29:46,050 What do you mean? 565 00:29:47,230 --> 00:29:47,909 He's ill. 566 00:29:47,910 --> 00:29:49,990 I know he's ill. He's got a dicky ticker. 567 00:29:50,930 --> 00:29:51,950 But he's in the hospital. 568 00:29:52,650 --> 00:29:53,650 Intensive care. 569 00:29:54,190 --> 00:29:55,190 Oh, my God. 570 00:29:55,450 --> 00:29:56,450 Yeah. 571 00:29:58,790 --> 00:29:59,930 who's going to pick the selections? 572 00:30:01,690 --> 00:30:04,210 Bennett, you are a little charmer, you, aren't you? 573 00:30:04,630 --> 00:30:07,530 I mean, an old mate of yours is just about to snuff it and all you can think 574 00:30:07,530 --> 00:30:08,530 about is money. 575 00:30:08,830 --> 00:30:10,130 Well, that is important, isn't it? 576 00:30:10,450 --> 00:30:12,030 I mean, probably just a false alarm. 577 00:30:12,370 --> 00:30:13,750 Yeah, but you don't know that, do you? 578 00:30:14,810 --> 00:30:15,810 Well, pay the man. 579 00:30:16,750 --> 00:30:19,010 I've had a nasty turn. You know how illness affects me. 580 00:30:19,270 --> 00:30:21,270 Would you like an aspirin? No, no, I'll be all right, Dave. 581 00:30:23,830 --> 00:30:26,470 When did you find out about this? That was his daughter on the phone. 582 00:30:27,130 --> 00:30:28,470 He said I'd see her tomorrow morning. 583 00:30:29,010 --> 00:30:30,010 Can he sit up? 584 00:30:30,210 --> 00:30:31,210 No, I don't know. 585 00:30:31,230 --> 00:30:32,230 Well, then, can he read? 586 00:30:33,130 --> 00:30:35,230 It could be in an oxygen tent, for all I know. 587 00:30:36,330 --> 00:30:38,490 Well, in that case, you could slip him a sporting life, couldn't you? 588 00:30:39,170 --> 00:30:40,350 Haven't you got any feelings? 589 00:30:40,870 --> 00:30:43,730 Yes, I have. I can be a very sensitive person when I want to, Terence. 590 00:30:45,330 --> 00:30:46,330 I should have known. 591 00:30:46,570 --> 00:30:48,150 I should never have trusted him from the off. 592 00:31:13,450 --> 00:31:14,450 Can I help you? 593 00:31:14,990 --> 00:31:16,690 Yeah, have you got on with the Mooney? 594 00:31:17,590 --> 00:31:18,590 No. 595 00:31:18,970 --> 00:31:20,370 Mooney? No, there's nobody of that name. 596 00:31:21,070 --> 00:31:22,730 This is Ward M6, isn't it? That's right. 597 00:31:23,290 --> 00:31:24,290 Well, he came in yesterday. 598 00:31:24,970 --> 00:31:27,990 About my height, a lot of grey hair, and he speaks with a sort of posh Irish 599 00:31:27,990 --> 00:31:29,510 accent. Oh, you mean Sir Alfred? 600 00:31:30,750 --> 00:31:31,750 Sir Alfred? 601 00:31:31,830 --> 00:31:33,050 Sir Alfred's mine. 602 00:31:33,950 --> 00:31:35,210 That's with an E at the end. 603 00:31:36,350 --> 00:31:37,350 Ah. 604 00:31:37,430 --> 00:31:38,970 Yeah, that's got to be him, then. 605 00:31:39,310 --> 00:31:40,310 Well, don't you know? 606 00:31:40,590 --> 00:31:42,510 Oh, no, well, it is him. Yeah, Sir Alfred. 607 00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:45,800 He usually uses a different name, you see, when he's incognito. 608 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:47,960 Mooney, that's his butler's name, really. 609 00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:49,280 He's a bit eccentric. 610 00:31:50,180 --> 00:31:51,940 Visiting hours are between two and eight. 611 00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:54,520 Oh, well... Well, I'll find out. 612 00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:02,880 I suppose you're Terry. 613 00:32:03,540 --> 00:32:04,439 Yeah, that's right. 614 00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:05,440 Are you Fenella? Yes. 615 00:32:12,620 --> 00:32:14,160 I believe these are your daily selections. 616 00:32:14,580 --> 00:32:16,900 Oh, yeah. I trust you won't sell them in the hospital. 617 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:19,380 Hold on. It's not my idea, you know. 618 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:21,080 How is he? 619 00:32:21,220 --> 00:32:22,179 He's ill. 620 00:32:22,180 --> 00:32:23,300 Well, can I see him? No. 621 00:32:23,740 --> 00:32:24,980 I don't want you to bother him. 622 00:32:25,740 --> 00:32:26,880 I wasn't going to bother him. 623 00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:28,120 We're friends, right? 624 00:32:28,940 --> 00:32:29,940 He's sleeping anyway. 625 00:32:30,860 --> 00:32:34,000 Oh. Oh, look, I've got this one. It's a bit shorter than that. 626 00:32:34,420 --> 00:32:35,480 Is there anything else he needs? 627 00:32:36,100 --> 00:32:37,079 He's OK. 628 00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:38,080 I'm sorry, Terry. 629 00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:39,920 Buy me a cup of coffee, if you like. 630 00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:41,920 Yeah. Oh, nurse, nurse. 631 00:32:42,820 --> 00:32:45,340 Sorry, do you think you could give them to Mr Mooney? 632 00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:46,720 Sir Alfred. 633 00:32:49,780 --> 00:32:53,620 I'm sure it's a smashing hospital, but, I mean, JJ needs a bit of luxury, 634 00:32:53,740 --> 00:32:55,320 doesn't he? I mean, the London Clinic. 635 00:32:55,740 --> 00:32:56,740 That was pathetic. 636 00:32:57,220 --> 00:32:58,660 You were impressed, I suppose. 637 00:32:59,420 --> 00:33:00,420 Oh, yeah. 638 00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:03,300 What about the Dorchester, eh? I mean, that took some doing. 639 00:33:03,700 --> 00:33:05,020 He even conned himself. 640 00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:06,740 Do you know where he was living? 641 00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:09,760 What? A hotel for single men, two pounds a night. 642 00:33:10,380 --> 00:33:13,900 The humiliation was beyond him. Sometimes he even believes his own 643 00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:17,640 He thinks he's one of nature's aristocrats. 644 00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:23,060 All he wants to do is impress people, people like you, and that awful Arthur 645 00:33:23,060 --> 00:33:27,060 Daly. Well, he impressed me, and Arthur thinks he's the greatest, I tell you. 646 00:33:27,460 --> 00:33:29,800 Because he can run a tipster service from his sickbed. 647 00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:33,740 Hold on, you don't like him, do you? 648 00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:35,740 I love him. 649 00:33:37,820 --> 00:33:38,940 He gave me everything. 650 00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:42,380 He gave me four mothers, a dozen schools. 651 00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:45,520 Don't you know the story of my education? 652 00:33:46,060 --> 00:33:47,060 No, no. 653 00:33:47,300 --> 00:33:49,540 This is a good one for your cronies in the Winchester Club. 654 00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:54,760 You see, J .J. wanted me to be a success, so I went to Benenden with 655 00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:56,660 Anne for a couple of terms. 656 00:33:57,540 --> 00:34:00,700 Then there was a term at Brodine, and then to Millfield. 657 00:34:01,700 --> 00:34:03,380 I didn't know at the time why. 658 00:34:04,820 --> 00:34:07,620 It was because J .J. couldn't pay the bills. 659 00:34:08,590 --> 00:34:10,210 He was always changing my name. 660 00:34:10,810 --> 00:34:13,330 Half the crown heads of Europe were relatives of mine. 661 00:34:13,949 --> 00:34:16,290 Off to Switzerland and a year in Paris. 662 00:34:17,070 --> 00:34:22,590 By the time I was 18, I was highly educated and on the most wanted list in 663 00:34:22,590 --> 00:34:24,750 countries. I don't believe it. 664 00:34:25,070 --> 00:34:26,949 No, on the other hand, I do believe it, I suppose. 665 00:34:27,250 --> 00:34:28,250 Of course you do. 666 00:34:28,710 --> 00:34:30,489 Yes, I suppose I do owe him a lot. 667 00:34:31,130 --> 00:34:33,190 Yeah, but what about Rodin and all the others, eh? 668 00:34:33,489 --> 00:34:35,090 Well, the thing is, he actually had the money. 669 00:34:35,670 --> 00:34:37,650 He just wanted to break the rules. 670 00:34:38,550 --> 00:34:40,050 Life's a laugh, that's his view. 671 00:34:40,310 --> 00:34:42,370 Yeah. What's he going to do when he grows up? 672 00:34:42,989 --> 00:34:44,870 Point is, what's he going to do when he leaves here? 673 00:34:46,230 --> 00:34:47,670 He's a very independent man. 674 00:34:48,130 --> 00:34:49,389 He won't come to my house. 675 00:34:49,949 --> 00:34:51,969 Apart from that, my husband doesn't like him. 676 00:34:52,350 --> 00:34:54,969 Maybe he doesn't trust him. You can understand that, can't you? 677 00:34:55,770 --> 00:34:57,510 No, he's not amused by JJ's stories. 678 00:34:58,130 --> 00:34:59,150 He's a merchant banker. 679 00:35:00,030 --> 00:35:01,490 I thought that was rhyming slang. 680 00:35:02,770 --> 00:35:03,770 I'll ignore that. 681 00:35:04,830 --> 00:35:06,330 Now, I don't know what's going to happen to JJ. 682 00:35:06,570 --> 00:35:10,490 I said that to him last night. He said, oh, don't worry about it, that's fine. 683 00:35:10,610 --> 00:35:12,490 If I'm ready to go, I'll con my way into heaven. 684 00:35:13,470 --> 00:35:17,890 Then he smiled to me and said, do they take credit cards, do you think? 685 00:35:19,190 --> 00:35:20,190 Come. 686 00:35:20,570 --> 00:35:21,730 Does he owe you any money? 687 00:35:22,010 --> 00:35:22,868 No, no. 688 00:35:22,870 --> 00:35:24,150 Do you owe him any money? 689 00:35:24,750 --> 00:35:25,750 No. 690 00:35:26,670 --> 00:35:27,670 There's something wrong there. 691 00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:38,020 How are you, help? Hello, Terry. 692 00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:41,540 This is Sylvia, a good telephone operator. 693 00:35:42,620 --> 00:35:45,780 And I was the receptionist as well. Well, nice to meet you. 694 00:35:46,220 --> 00:35:47,560 Just in case we get too busy. 695 00:35:48,620 --> 00:35:49,680 Got enough selections? 696 00:35:50,020 --> 00:35:52,100 Yeah, the only thing is, they might be the last ones we have. 697 00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:53,760 Oh. Did you see them? 698 00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:56,200 Yeah, yeah. Good, good. 699 00:35:56,500 --> 00:35:58,200 I thought you might ask how he was. 700 00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:00,200 Yeah, I was just going to. What was going on? 701 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,960 These are your new employees, eh? 702 00:36:03,420 --> 00:36:05,340 Yep. Couldn't have done a thing without Petal there. 703 00:36:05,690 --> 00:36:08,190 You're not talking about wages, are you? Yes, I am talking about wages. 704 00:36:08,430 --> 00:36:09,430 But no stamps. 705 00:36:09,530 --> 00:36:10,730 But I haven't had a penny yet. 706 00:36:11,010 --> 00:36:13,890 It's your problem, isn't it? Well, I didn't ask you to sub the work out. You 707 00:36:13,890 --> 00:36:14,890 understand, don't you, Flower? 708 00:36:15,290 --> 00:36:17,270 Petal. Of course she is. A cockle. Hey! 709 00:36:17,550 --> 00:36:20,930 For a few minutes' work. Four hours she was in there. Yeah, but I mean a tenner. 710 00:36:20,970 --> 00:36:23,450 I mean, I'm known as a generous governor, but... Don't listen to him. 711 00:36:23,450 --> 00:36:26,450 happy. Here you are, my dear. Here you are. Look, you stick that in your 712 00:36:26,450 --> 00:36:28,210 sporran. Don't do it. A nice blue one, my dear. 713 00:36:28,870 --> 00:36:31,670 You're going to be sorry about this. What about silver? Hey, hey, hey! Can't 714 00:36:31,670 --> 00:36:32,770 read? Out of order. 715 00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:34,300 Yeah, you're out of order and all. 716 00:36:34,860 --> 00:36:36,440 Cheeky beggar. Well, that'll be him. 717 00:36:38,700 --> 00:36:41,700 Oi! Has he got a licence for that? Come on, Terry, get him out. 718 00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:43,040 How? How? 719 00:36:43,310 --> 00:36:46,590 With violence, that's how. Kick them up the arse. Hold on, if they've got ten 720 00:36:46,590 --> 00:36:49,170 pence, they're in business, aren't they? Oh, this is charming, isn't it? What is 721 00:36:49,170 --> 00:36:49,868 this, betrayal? 722 00:36:49,870 --> 00:36:53,430 I leave you minding three telephone boxes, and here I am being threatened by 723 00:36:53,430 --> 00:36:56,850 Bugsy Malone and his mob. We live round here. Oh, yeah, he lives round here. He 724 00:36:56,850 --> 00:36:57,970 lives round here. Yeah, he told me that yesterday. 725 00:36:58,410 --> 00:37:01,930 Oi, mister, do you realise that these are the only telephone boxes in the 726 00:37:01,930 --> 00:37:04,490 metropolitan area that ain't been vandalised? That's it, right. 727 00:37:04,730 --> 00:37:07,050 Oh. Well, they're like gold dust in your game. 728 00:37:07,310 --> 00:37:08,310 What game? 729 00:37:08,470 --> 00:37:09,470 Well, I don't know. 730 00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:13,300 It's got to be a bit iffy, though, ain't it? A bit iffy, though, ain't it? All 731 00:37:13,300 --> 00:37:15,460 right, sunshine. 732 00:37:16,140 --> 00:37:19,320 Now, you've had a good time with the phones. If anybody else hosts cars, your 733 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:20,340 head's coming off. Got it? 734 00:37:20,900 --> 00:37:22,580 Oi, you lot, leave it out. 735 00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:24,680 It's just a joke. 736 00:37:24,900 --> 00:37:25,900 Now, listen, son. 737 00:37:27,580 --> 00:37:28,580 What is it? 738 00:37:28,720 --> 00:37:30,240 Sorry, pal, wrong number. 739 00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:32,160 It's going to be a lot, that. 740 00:37:33,820 --> 00:37:35,600 Yo, you're the head man, are you? What's his name? 741 00:37:35,860 --> 00:37:36,860 This is Tony. 742 00:37:36,940 --> 00:37:37,940 Can I call you Tony? 743 00:37:38,170 --> 00:37:39,170 Of course you can. 744 00:37:39,270 --> 00:37:40,270 Excuse me, Rat. 745 00:37:40,490 --> 00:37:42,470 Over here, Coney. See, look what we've got. Sit down. 746 00:37:42,810 --> 00:37:44,390 We've got a rupture of communications. 747 00:37:44,910 --> 00:37:48,890 See, you've come here, team -handed, terrorising the law -abiding ratepayers, 748 00:37:49,110 --> 00:37:53,490 utilising the property of the GPO, stroke British Telecom, to wit, one 749 00:37:53,490 --> 00:37:57,530 dog and bone, and demanding ransom, blackmail and or protection money. Is 750 00:37:57,530 --> 00:37:58,630 right? Well, yeah. 751 00:37:59,070 --> 00:38:03,030 Well, I'm not going to dwell on the ambiguous morality of the situation, 752 00:38:03,050 --> 00:38:04,310 er, how much? 753 00:38:05,210 --> 00:38:06,210 A tonne. 754 00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:07,720 Oh, the kid's a mug. 755 00:38:07,940 --> 00:38:09,320 You're on a twist tone. 756 00:38:09,780 --> 00:38:11,660 Don't you read the Financial Times no more? 757 00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:15,100 Recession is rampant in the Western world. We're all having to scrimp and 758 00:38:15,100 --> 00:38:20,120 scrape. And yet you want 100 notes for sheer exploitation and out of wanton 759 00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:21,700 greed. 50, then. 760 00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:25,260 Oh, the kid's no mug. I'll give you 10, and I'm being generous. Oh, leave it 761 00:38:25,260 --> 00:38:27,380 out. Look, 40. I said 10. 762 00:38:27,720 --> 00:38:28,720 It's a chance. 763 00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:30,880 30. You're being a fool to yourself. 764 00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:34,580 25. Oh, a pony's nearer. Make it 20 and we'll touch hands. 765 00:38:37,009 --> 00:38:37,868 Yeah, done. 766 00:38:37,870 --> 00:38:40,370 No kids, no mug. Will you take the cheque? No chance. 767 00:38:40,570 --> 00:38:41,930 No, no, just testing, Tony, just testing. 768 00:38:42,190 --> 00:38:46,390 There you are. And make sure you count it, because it's not all there. I owe 769 00:38:46,390 --> 00:38:49,130 nine. I'm going to the bank now, and I will come right back, OK? 770 00:38:52,810 --> 00:38:53,810 Hello, 771 00:38:55,510 --> 00:38:56,510 Arthur. 772 00:38:56,550 --> 00:38:57,670 You've had a result, haven't you? 773 00:38:57,930 --> 00:38:58,930 How do you know? 774 00:38:59,050 --> 00:39:00,310 I've seen your pile of correspondence. 775 00:39:00,610 --> 00:39:01,610 Very handsome. 776 00:39:02,010 --> 00:39:03,010 Be lucky. 777 00:39:05,580 --> 00:39:07,000 Who's the clever fella, right? 778 00:39:07,220 --> 00:39:08,720 Don't you worry about me, my friend. 779 00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:10,460 Honest endeavour, enterprise. 780 00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:13,340 The price is right, they're always customers. 781 00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:17,620 Never mind the supplementary benefits. Get out and graft, that's my philosophy. 782 00:39:18,060 --> 00:39:21,940 Oh, incidentally, a guy was asking for you. Oh, yeah? Who? 783 00:39:22,220 --> 00:39:25,020 He didn't say. He looked sort of official -like. 784 00:39:25,740 --> 00:39:26,740 In what way? 785 00:39:26,940 --> 00:39:30,140 Oh, I don't know. You can spot him on my look, can't you? What did he want? 786 00:39:30,460 --> 00:39:31,800 I don't know. He didn't say. 787 00:39:32,300 --> 00:39:34,820 But right from the start, I thought, hello, Mr. 788 00:39:35,100 --> 00:39:36,540 Plot, or something worse. 789 00:39:36,940 --> 00:39:37,859 Like what? 790 00:39:37,860 --> 00:39:38,900 The dreaded Batman. 791 00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:42,660 The knock on the door in the early hours of the morning, all you hear terrible 792 00:39:42,660 --> 00:39:45,760 things. Anyway, I marked your card for you. 793 00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:01,060 All right, Sprotty. 794 00:40:01,830 --> 00:40:03,130 Shouldn't even be seen with you. 795 00:40:03,490 --> 00:40:09,170 Why? You mix with thieves, gangsters, oars, pimps, transvestites and 796 00:40:09,170 --> 00:40:10,170 shoplifters. 797 00:40:10,470 --> 00:40:11,790 What's the matter with me? Why? 798 00:40:12,350 --> 00:40:13,950 You're a bent copper, Sprutty. 799 00:40:14,410 --> 00:40:16,570 Even worse, you got found out. 800 00:40:16,910 --> 00:40:18,610 Got my career to think about, don't I? 801 00:40:18,910 --> 00:40:20,330 And I thought we were friends. 802 00:40:20,830 --> 00:40:22,790 You owe me a favour. 803 00:40:23,070 --> 00:40:24,070 Yeah? 804 00:40:24,510 --> 00:40:26,230 Friend in trouble's no friend of mine. 805 00:40:26,910 --> 00:40:28,210 Who needs friends like that? 806 00:40:28,890 --> 00:40:30,430 I'll be up for inspector in a year. 807 00:40:32,140 --> 00:40:35,820 Again. I need friends in high places, not blokes going down the drain hole. 808 00:40:36,020 --> 00:40:36,899 Don't worry. 809 00:40:36,900 --> 00:40:37,900 I'll give you a reference. 810 00:40:38,300 --> 00:40:39,460 That's what I'm worried about. 811 00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:42,180 Anyway, I told you on the trumpet. 812 00:40:43,020 --> 00:40:44,020 JJ's around. 813 00:40:44,060 --> 00:40:45,060 He's on the scene. 814 00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:47,940 That doesn't mean he's organising this particular racing scam. 815 00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:50,680 I know him. I've seen the ad. I recognise the style. 816 00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:53,140 But he needs a partner. 817 00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:55,300 And I think I know who he is. 818 00:40:55,900 --> 00:40:56,900 Oh, yes. 819 00:40:57,360 --> 00:40:59,720 The plot thickens. I know this motor. 820 00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:06,420 Bold Arthur Daly, and he shouldn't have that disabled sticker on his windscreen 821 00:41:06,420 --> 00:41:08,180 either. What's his form? 822 00:41:08,540 --> 00:41:13,020 Form? We're talking about pedigree. The right thoroughbred. 823 00:41:13,980 --> 00:41:18,260 Dishonest, mean, greedy, shifty, slippery. 824 00:41:19,720 --> 00:41:24,360 Daly is your true metropolitan hyena. He's an urban vulture. 825 00:41:24,580 --> 00:41:25,960 That's just his good side. 826 00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:28,000 He's your man, Sprotty. 827 00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:30,140 Handle him with care. 828 00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:33,080 Right side up, know what I mean? On his head. 829 00:41:33,460 --> 00:41:34,460 My pleasure. 830 00:41:35,020 --> 00:41:36,580 After that, we are quitted. 831 00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:42,400 We are no longer friends. Do not call me, I will not call you. In fact, 832 00:41:42,620 --> 00:41:43,620 Sprutty. 833 00:41:44,020 --> 00:41:45,040 Same to you, friend. 834 00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:46,520 Uh, small point. 835 00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:48,520 What do you look like? 836 00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:50,040 Horrible. 837 00:42:33,580 --> 00:42:35,020 And there I was, completely surrounded. 838 00:42:35,620 --> 00:42:38,920 It was a stakeout, was it? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very carefully planned. 839 00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:42,000 I mean, there were several of them. And you evaded them? Of course. 840 00:42:42,340 --> 00:42:44,060 It was like one of them James Bond things. 841 00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:46,120 He often wears a frogman's outfit. 842 00:42:46,540 --> 00:42:48,340 No, no, no. There was no frogman's outfits. 843 00:42:48,620 --> 00:42:52,580 They all had these big black leather jackets, you know. I knew at once. 844 00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:54,280 There's one, he's a right wally. 845 00:42:55,140 --> 00:42:58,120 Moustache. You've got to get up early to catch Arthur Daly. 846 00:42:59,140 --> 00:43:00,800 You know, I met Sean Connery. 847 00:43:01,310 --> 00:43:03,930 Oh, yeah? Yeah, that was before he became Roger Moore. 848 00:43:04,210 --> 00:43:05,550 Dave. Oh, excuse me. 849 00:43:07,110 --> 00:43:08,850 Hello, Mr Sprott. Long time no see. 850 00:43:09,090 --> 00:43:09,828 All right, Dave. 851 00:43:09,830 --> 00:43:11,270 Give us a light out. Yeah, come out. 852 00:43:14,530 --> 00:43:19,350 You know, Arthur, I was saying to... Arthur Daly. Arthur Daly. Daly, isn't 853 00:43:34,250 --> 00:43:37,370 You yourself are mischievous at your age. Beg your pardon? I think you've got 854 00:43:37,370 --> 00:43:38,049 the wrong man. 855 00:43:38,050 --> 00:43:39,350 You trying to mug me or something? 856 00:43:39,570 --> 00:43:40,570 Seen one of these before. 857 00:43:40,710 --> 00:43:41,529 What is it? 858 00:43:41,530 --> 00:43:42,530 Season ticket for Fulham? 859 00:43:44,010 --> 00:43:46,350 Get in the car. 860 00:43:46,610 --> 00:43:49,390 Thank you. Well, my mum told me not to accept letters from strangers. Didn't 861 00:43:49,390 --> 00:43:53,130 your mum tell you that? My mum said near me in the private. That's nuts to you. 862 00:43:53,570 --> 00:43:55,270 Oh, if you're going to be like that. Get in. 863 00:44:05,100 --> 00:44:07,500 I don't know whether you know, but I'm one of the most highly respected 864 00:44:07,500 --> 00:44:10,760 businessmen in the borough. Not to say in the whole of the greater London area. 865 00:44:10,820 --> 00:44:11,920 You owe me money. 866 00:44:12,720 --> 00:44:14,340 Me? Oh, yes. 867 00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:16,280 Look, may I ask... No. 868 00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:18,600 Where's JJ? 869 00:44:18,820 --> 00:44:21,620 Oh, he's in... Are you arresting me? 870 00:44:23,240 --> 00:44:24,900 Oh, in that case, do you mind if I go? 871 00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:30,280 Should your feet feel inclined to hit the pavement, you are dead. 872 00:44:34,730 --> 00:44:36,190 I've just been kicked out of the force. 873 00:44:36,790 --> 00:44:38,910 20 years of my life, gone. 874 00:44:39,510 --> 00:44:40,510 All I know is cry. 875 00:44:41,950 --> 00:44:43,810 Particularly fraud. 876 00:44:45,010 --> 00:44:46,010 I'm an expert. 877 00:44:47,410 --> 00:44:50,310 And I've known JJ for 10 years. 878 00:44:50,790 --> 00:44:51,850 Always admired him. 879 00:44:53,730 --> 00:44:57,210 And I've always thought of him as a friend. 880 00:44:58,150 --> 00:45:01,090 So when I knew I was going to be dismissed, I thought I'd get a hold of 881 00:45:02,430 --> 00:45:03,510 But I should have known. 882 00:45:04,270 --> 00:45:05,630 Con men never die. 883 00:45:05,890 --> 00:45:09,590 They merely fade away with your money. 884 00:45:09,890 --> 00:45:10,890 Well, I wouldn't know about that. 885 00:45:11,090 --> 00:45:14,670 You see, I gave him the money, and he went on the missing list. 886 00:45:15,730 --> 00:45:16,730 Brilliant scheme. 887 00:45:16,950 --> 00:45:20,350 We could have an office, three phones, put an ad in the sporting life. 888 00:45:21,690 --> 00:45:23,890 The very same ad that you had. 889 00:45:24,370 --> 00:45:28,550 So, you see, that's why I say you owe me. 890 00:45:29,879 --> 00:45:32,720 Just a minute. I mean, I don't know anything about your arrangements with 891 00:45:33,020 --> 00:45:34,060 It's your office, isn't it? 892 00:45:34,860 --> 00:45:36,740 Um, yeah, in a way. 893 00:45:37,500 --> 00:45:41,020 You know, I want it. This is a very expensive jacket. All the better to tear 894 00:45:41,020 --> 00:45:44,240 to shreds. Oh, no, no, no. Don't do that. I'm sure we can come to some sort 895 00:45:44,240 --> 00:45:45,440 arrangement. And the phones. 896 00:45:45,740 --> 00:45:46,740 And not phones. Everything. 897 00:45:47,140 --> 00:45:48,140 All inclusive. 898 00:45:57,130 --> 00:45:58,470 What is it, Ben? Short -term lease? 899 00:45:58,690 --> 00:46:00,090 Very short -term. 900 00:46:00,530 --> 00:46:02,450 Just park by the station. 901 00:46:10,690 --> 00:46:12,830 Terry! I'm on the phone! I'm being threatened! 902 00:46:13,249 --> 00:46:14,270 There's something new. 903 00:46:14,570 --> 00:46:15,730 With my dosh. 904 00:46:16,030 --> 00:46:18,490 Have a word with him. Sir, I'm getting a lot of complaints. You're going to get 905 00:46:18,490 --> 00:46:21,050 a lot more, too. This is your new tenant. You said it was an office. 906 00:46:21,290 --> 00:46:24,610 No, no, no, no, no. You said it was an office. And you're going to have a view 907 00:46:24,610 --> 00:46:26,230 out there. It's a very clear position. 908 00:46:26,570 --> 00:46:27,570 Petal. 909 00:46:28,550 --> 00:46:29,550 Sylvia. 910 00:46:29,650 --> 00:46:31,530 Tone. And I'm the station manager. 911 00:46:32,090 --> 00:46:34,950 But he's on the firm. Make a nice cup of tea any time you want. There are no 912 00:46:34,950 --> 00:46:36,830 catering facilities on this station. Toilets on the platform. 913 00:46:37,090 --> 00:46:39,170 You are sending me up. 914 00:46:39,450 --> 00:46:42,310 Shut up. And Terry, who takes care of all... 915 00:46:43,359 --> 00:46:45,140 I think so. 916 00:46:45,660 --> 00:46:47,220 Oh, that must be for you. 917 00:46:47,620 --> 00:46:48,620 Sir, 918 00:46:49,060 --> 00:46:51,220 do you mind? 919 00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,960 I still think it's a nice little earner. 920 00:46:56,240 --> 00:46:58,420 There's none so gullible as your average punter. 921 00:46:59,100 --> 00:47:00,420 Leave off, he needs his rest. 922 00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:03,260 Well, you can pick them, the selections. You like the GGs. 923 00:47:03,540 --> 00:47:04,580 Yeah, that's why I'm skint. 924 00:47:04,820 --> 00:47:06,420 No, you're very good with dumb animals. 925 00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:09,400 Oh. What? 926 00:47:09,900 --> 00:47:11,540 That's his bed. Oh, my God. 927 00:47:13,290 --> 00:47:14,290 He's getting dressed. 928 00:47:14,690 --> 00:47:15,810 Oh, thank goodness. 929 00:47:16,470 --> 00:47:17,790 Well, he won't need that, then, will he? 930 00:47:18,970 --> 00:47:20,290 Have you met the charming Harper? 931 00:47:20,530 --> 00:47:21,530 I'm not sure I want to. 932 00:47:21,690 --> 00:47:22,690 My pleasure, my dear. 933 00:47:23,270 --> 00:47:24,410 We knew he'd be all right. 934 00:47:24,790 --> 00:47:26,810 I shall have to schlep around and find some more telephones. 935 00:47:27,030 --> 00:47:28,030 He's bored with horses. 936 00:47:28,410 --> 00:47:29,450 There are better things. 937 00:47:29,830 --> 00:47:32,930 My fault. We were talking about the banking system last night. Switzerland. 938 00:47:33,470 --> 00:47:35,450 And suddenly I saw a glimmer in his eye. 939 00:47:35,750 --> 00:47:38,270 It was as though the Holy Grail had manifested in the ward. 940 00:47:38,930 --> 00:47:39,928 Don't stop him. 941 00:47:39,930 --> 00:47:43,810 It's J .J. versus the Names of Zurich now. That could be his personal best. 942 00:47:43,810 --> 00:47:44,709 he smoke a record? 943 00:47:44,710 --> 00:47:46,490 Yeah, he's going to need a bit of capital for that, hasn't he? 944 00:47:46,690 --> 00:47:49,470 Oh, you old scallywag, you got it right. 945 00:47:50,730 --> 00:47:51,669 Where's my money? 946 00:47:51,670 --> 00:47:53,770 Ah, pennies, J .J. A handful of coppers. 947 00:47:54,450 --> 00:47:57,810 You're all right. I've had a terrible time. Dash in here, dash in there. Is 948 00:47:57,810 --> 00:47:58,509 bed free? 949 00:47:58,510 --> 00:48:00,250 Oh, it's hard work avoiding honest work. 950 00:48:00,550 --> 00:48:01,550 How much have we got? 951 00:48:01,590 --> 00:48:02,569 Who knows? 952 00:48:02,570 --> 00:48:04,450 Cheques, postal orders. I haven't cashed any of them. 953 00:48:05,110 --> 00:48:06,110 How much, Arthur? 954 00:48:06,670 --> 00:48:08,410 Um, £972. 955 00:48:09,230 --> 00:48:12,990 So you owe me £486 plus the £300 I gave you when we started. 956 00:48:13,770 --> 00:48:14,770 That was a gift. 957 00:48:15,010 --> 00:48:16,590 That was the capital loan. 958 00:48:17,550 --> 00:48:19,250 You're very lucky I didn't charge you interest. 959 00:48:19,790 --> 00:48:21,070 Oh, you're wicked, JJ. 960 00:48:21,510 --> 00:48:26,590 I've laid out money to station masters, dead -end kids, Blossom, Petal, Tulip, 961 00:48:26,630 --> 00:48:29,490 Dandelion, I don't know what her name is. If I didn't know you better, I'd say 962 00:48:29,490 --> 00:48:30,490 he was a con man. 963 00:48:30,970 --> 00:48:31,970 He is. 964 00:48:33,370 --> 00:48:34,370 What's your excuse? 965 00:48:57,580 --> 00:49:00,020 I'll change the situation. 966 00:49:04,220 --> 00:49:08,520 Right people, right time, just the wrong location. 967 00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:14,540 I've got a good idea. 968 00:49:16,300 --> 00:49:21,180 Just you keep me near. I'll be so good for you. I'm 969 00:49:21,180 --> 00:49:24,440 going to help you. 970 00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:26,920 Love you like you want me to. 971 00:49:27,180 --> 00:49:29,340 I'll do anything for you. 972 00:49:31,120 --> 00:49:33,100 I'll be so cool, boy. 973 00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:35,260 I can be so good for you. 974 00:49:35,580 --> 00:49:37,520 I'll do it like you want me to. 70522

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