All language subtitles for Meet the Adebanjos s03e15 The Investment

I could do with 600 quid, since Mum

and Dad have refused to pay for my
ticket.

Ticket to where?

Are you going to Nigeria?

No, Auntie.

Miami. Spring break.

Turn up. All my friends are going, and I
refuse to stay here.

Sadie, you are very spoiled, too. Oh, my
God. So, you want to go to Miami,

America, to go and be dancing with
Justin Bieber and Chris Brown?

I think you mean Justin Bieber and Chris
Brown.

Yes. Watch MTV.

I'm going to do whatever it takes to get
that money.

You think you've got problems, Sade?

I've got massive loans to pay off. I'm
getting final reminders, phone calls,

lot. I'm expecting the bailiff to crack
down the doors any minute.

I'd do anything to pay that off.

Lie, cheat, even steal.

Does that mean that you cannot loan me
any money?

I was going to ask you for some money. I
was going to ask you guys for some

money.

Pathetic, all of us.

Five pound please make hey mate you've
left your wallet

I

Couldn't

catch him up.

How could you in your pregnancy?

Loaded. I wonder how much is in there.

We'll never know, will we? Give that
back. You can't look at a customer's

wallet.

It's about 500 pounds in here.

Wow.

I would not leave that lying around.

Give that back. I'm keeping it behind
the counter so he can get it when he

back.

Tony, what if he doesn't come back? We
can all share it.

Sounds like a great plan.

I mean, we all need the money, right?

Don't be silly. It's not ours.

Hopefully the poor guy will come back
for it.

Well, I think I left my wallet in here
earlier.

I think it could be your lucky day.

Yeah, I guess so.

I'll tell you what, Ashley.

Do you mind if I just count the money,
make sure it's all there?

Can't trust everyone round here, you
know.

DTA. Don't trust anyone.

It's empty.

Where's my money?

There was 500 quid in here. I know there
was.

You looked.

No, it was a pancake.

You took my money.

I didn't take any of your money.

It's shadows once I did.

So have you got it?

Of course not. I never went near your
money. Listen, one of you took the money

and I want it back. It must be some
mistake.

It's no mistake.

You said yourself there's money in this
wallet.

I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

I'm going to come back tomorrow morning,
first thing.

And if I ain't got my money, I'll be in
serious trouble.

Keep

going.

Keep going.

Don't pass it back.

He was out wide. Look, wide.

Toby, how's it going with your exam?

Come on.

Toby, I said, how's it going with your
exam? Yeah, it's going well, mum. It's

going well.

So, are you studying right now?

Yeah, studying hard.

Don't wait for it. What nonsense.

Will this arse -in -venga pay your bill?

But if I ask him... Ow!

Toby, I can't help you. If you love your
life, you better confess in your class

this term, or else you and I will be
wearing the same trousers.

Oh, Dad.

How's it going?

The engine has packed up.

Dad, why don't you just call a mechanic?

Do I look like I can afford a mechanic?

I'll fix it myself.

You're not doing a very good job, are
you?

Zip it.

Lord God almighty.

Why does this always seem to happen to
our family? Problem after problem after

problem.

Dad, why don't you just get a new car or
even a new engine? Dad.

Pimp that ride. If I can't afford a new
car, how can I afford a new engine or a

new mechanic? It will cost thousands.

Bayo, if you are actually more prayerful
and came to church aside from just

turning up at Christmas, you'll be more
equipped to fight against the enemy's

problem. And, Gladie, you can take the
bus to church.

Me, right? Yes. Take the bus. Stop the
beat.

Without my fashions. Ah, no. Need to
sort it out. But, Gladie, how... Bayo,

you're a man.

So be a man.

I'll fix the problem.

And while you're at it, please take a
shower. You're getting mad.

Toby.

Where am I going to get this money from?

Don't you have savings? Don't you have
savings? You seem to forget that Auntie

Fumi's husband decided to die. I had to
send some money back home. Then there's

money for Shadi at uni. Then there's
your money for... Okay, so you've got

nothing?

No. Well, I have about 50 pounds to my
name.

That's not a very long name, is it?

What's that?

Nothing. Dad, 50 pounds isn't that bad.

Remember Boris, Dad? He turned that much
into 100 ,000 pounds.

It's a lie.

100 ,000?

How? Investment. Stock markets.

Online trading.

It's easy. You could do it. You always
say you're a... What was it? Money

I just said that just to impress you.

You really think I can make that much
money?

Yes.

We can do it together and I can set it
up. We can watch that money grow.

Yes, my boy.

That sounds like a good idea.

Yeah.

There must be some explanation.

It must have fallen out.

You're right. Let's look for it.

We'll get that at your door.

But it cost £600.

But I could do with £600, since Mum and
Dad have refused to pay for my ticket.

I'm going to come back tomorrow morning,
first thing, and if I ain't got my

money... ..can't find it anywhere.

somebody has taken it. Aunty, just admit
it. You stole the money. No, no, no.

It's you, Shadi. Well, it wasn't me.
Okay, let's calm down.

If one of you just confesses, we can
return the money to its rightful owner.

Confess.

Confess what?

I have no sense.

Look at you, accusing me now, Shadi.

When you are the one with the biggest
motive.

Yes, honey.

Yes. All these loans and bank
repayments. How many final reminders

Go on. Yes.

And you said that you would do anything.
You would lie. You would cheat. You

would steal. Just for the money. Now
you've gone too far.

I gave that wallet back to that man, for
goodness sake.

Yeah, after you emptied it.

No, it was Funke.

Hey, it's you, Tony. You did it.

I'll say it was you.

Well, it wasn't me.

Okay, let's stop going round in circles.

Money doesn't disappear on its own in a
matter of minutes.

Somebody did it.

We just have to find out who.

What we need is someone to help us get
to the bottom of this.

Did someone call?

Peace be unto this cafe of glory.

I think we've got the right person.

Toby,

what talk will we invest in?

Um... Well, having read online, it says
you should invest in something null.

And seeing as you can't afford to lose
money, how about invest in Nigeria?

Ah, that's a good idea, my boy. Invest
close to home. Smart move.

But invest in what?

Um, how about oil?

Oh, that's very good. Sounds good, my
boy. You know, I've been reading about

this new oil company, and they haven't
found any oil yet. But with a bit of

money behind them, I'm sure they will.
Dad, don't you think that's a bit risky?

I mean, maybe you should invest in
something that's a bit more established.

no, no, my boy. Let me tell you
something.

As a money mogul, you have to learn to
take risks.

That's what making money is all about. I
mean, look at Danguti.

He started by just selling ordinary
cement. Now he's a tycoon.

And don't forget Mike Adenuga. He was
selling mobile phones in Yanakwaja. Now

has the largest network in Africa. And
let's not forget the women. They are all

risk -takers. And, of course, Bola's
father.

Did he invest in a big farm? No. He
started small and then saw them grow.

Now he's ripping the rewards.

Okay, but Dad, just because you're
reading the Financial Times and you know

this information, it doesn't make you a
money mogul.

Shush, my boy, I'm at work. Just invest
my money and let me watch it grow.

Oh, all 50 pounds of it, yeah?

There goes the last of the big spenders.
That's right.

Bayo, what's going on?

Nothing, just having a man -to -man
chat.

Toby, if you want your phone back, you
better steal it. Oh, Mom, he's investing

in his dog.

Investing, eh?

That's your Joe Mark, Mommy.

The last time you invested our money in
Landy Leckie, you were 419.

Gladdy, must you always be a messenger
of the past?

You want to waste our money on
investing, eh?

When you can't even afford to pay for a
mechanic to fix the car. Gladdy, I am

investing in the future.

We will make money, I swear. By this
time next year, we will be millionaires.

That's what you told me 20 years ago.
Look at us now.

We're not even 100 years.

No more investing. End of.

Guess I'll have to cancel it then.

No, Toby.

But Mum said... Don't listen to your
mother.

She doesn't have the same economical
mind that I have.

Now just sign me up. Give me my passport
so I can track my progress.

Okay.

Password is bio the billionaire.

One word.

That's good, my boy. That's good. Bio
the billionaire.

Just don't tell your mother.

Funke, Funke.

Shaday, Shaday.

Tony.

Businessman Tony.

What would your parents say when they
find out that their only daughter is

to spend her whole youth at one of the
Queen's prisons?

Pastor. Pastor.

You know me. You know me.

I will do anything for my designer,
Ashway B.

I understand how you feel.

And I know about temptation.

Which is why I know you took the money.

Young lady. Pastor, why would I do that?

I'm studying law.

I've got my whole life ahead of me.

Why would I install a new security
system if I was a thief?

Let me tell you who I think did it. I
can't tell you who did it.

What if I told you about something that
I saw?

Now we are talking.

Go, go, go, go. Up you go. Up you go.

Thank you, God.

Finally, my wife will respect me more.

Do you want to get into trouble? My
friend, forget about trouble. Do you

how much money I am making as we speak?

Money, money, money, money.

Now go.

I am rich.

Finally, I knew this day would come.

How? By ignoring my wife.

I invested in a new oil company and they
have struck black gold, baby. I have

already made a fortune.

So how much have you made?

At this moment, I have already made 150
,000.

Thousand pounds.

Now, what to spend my fortune on?

First of all, I'm going to pay off all
my debts.

Buy myself a new Mercedes -Benz, brand
new. Buy myself a house in Lakey, phase

one, of course.

Repay the mortgage.

Buy Gladio something.

Renew my sports subscription, HD.

And last but not least, quit my job.

Eh? Quit your job?

Franco, welcome back.

You are leaving?

Yeah. I have only written the
resignation letter.

Dear Karen, you useless woman.

I have been fed up with this degrading
position while you have tried to rule me

despite me being the one that trained
you.

I have decided to resign from my
position with immediate effect and move

better things.

May you rot in hell and take this job
and shove it where the sun doesn't

Yours sincerely, Bayo. Thank you very
much and goodbye.

Bayo, please, no, no, you can't.

Bayo, Bayo, you can't go. Without you, I
am nobody. I am nobody.

What are you surviving here?

Bayo.

Goodbye, 9 to 5, Bayo.

And hello, Bayo, business mogul.

Yes,

I'm still here.

Yes, I would like to order two Mercedes.

Matching. Identical. One for me and one
for my wife. That's right.

Hold on.

Dad, did I appear right?

Yes, my boy.

I am rich. I have turned that 50 pounds
into nearly 200 ,000 pounds in a day.

Yes!

I have quit that useless job. I am now a
tycoon.

Toby, your father, is rich.

We're rich.

So where's my cup? Shut up.

I'm going to deduct all the money that
you have cost me throughout your life.

Don't expect much.

So all of this from a small oil firm?

I told you they would find it. They will
find the oil.

How much money?

Yes, I'm still here.

Yes. How much?

£50 ,000. No problem.

No problem at all.

That's right.

Let me just get my debit card. Yes. Yes.
Please hold on.

Yes,

my boy.

The company just released a press
statement apologising for misleading the

market.

Apparently they overestimated their oil
findings and in fact have not found the

amount they declared.

Huh? In fact...

They found nothing.

Son, what does this mean?

It means the chair price has crashed way
lower than before.

How much?

A hundred thousand less?

Lower.

Fifty thousand?

Lower.

10 ,000? Much lower.

How much?

I'm minus 50 pounds.

I've lost all my money.

Oh, my God.

This is your fault. You told me to
invest in that useless oil company.

No, it's you.

You're the money mogul. Zip it. I have
to get to the office and remove my

of resignation. You have to get there
quick.

I don't have a car.

Don't tell your mother.

Someone's left for me. I think it's from
Bio.

No! Get off!

Bio! What are you doing? Why are you in
a dressing gown?

Sleepwalking.

Bio, get off!

Don't...

Dear Karen, I just wanted to say how
much of a wonderful, kind and honest

manager you are.

Thanks so much.

From the whole team.

Oh.

How lovely.

Well, it's nice to see you appreciate me
for a change.

And speaking of change, go home and put
some clothes on. Else it'll be a

disciplinary for indecent behaviour in
the office.

Get on with it.

My job is safe.

It's safe.

Thank you, God.

Thank you. Thank God for that letter.

But how?

Thank God?

Thank God, Bayo.

You should be thanking me.

You?

Bayo, I threw that resignation letter
out.

I couldn't have you leave here.

Leave me.

Alone in this place?

And I knew despite your riches you would
come back.

You and I.

We are a tag team, Bayo.

Yes. Thank you very much.

And I am sure to say... Bayo.

You have inspired me so much that I have
invested all my life

savings into that oil company.

Yes, sir.

Eh? Frank. I'm Bayou.

Money moguls.

Frank. Eh?

Franco. Eh?

Bayou.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have reached my
verdict.

It appears you have all accused each
other, which means that you are all to

blamed for the lies and the deception.
You are all equally guilty.

All of you.

Guilty.

What I suggest is that you all put your
money together.

and give it back to the man when he
returns.

I don't have any money to put in. I mean
nothing.

But me too.

Admit it, Pastor, you're none the wiser.
None the wiser. None the wiser. Tony,

you said you spent money for security in
this cafe.

Where is the security?

Oh, the CCTV, of course.

Tony,

you had CCTV and you never thought about
looking at it.

I just forgot to check it.

Forgot? Forgot?

Forgot?

Let us look at the footage. I'm sure the
culprit will be reviewed.

I don't understand it. The wallet stays
there all the time. Nobody touches it.

Just rewind it to the part where you
give the wallet back to the man.

Look, look, look, look at him.

Closer. Zoom in, zoom inside, zoom
inside.

You see, he put the wallet into his left
pocket and then take another wallet.

Out of his rice bucket?

Pastor, what are you talking? What I'm
saying is that he has two wallets. One

empty and one filled with cash.

We've been scammed. Oh, Lord, thank you,
God. We have found the truth.

Sir.

You lot.

You got my money? No problem. We got it
right here.

Panther, grab it. Shoot it. Call the
police. Okay.

Grab it. Look.

You think you're very smart.

You are not. But you can't fool us. No.
Now this is fighting, Funke, on the

patrol. Come on. Take him, grab him.
Pastor, don't let him go. I won't. Hold

him. Hold him.

I want to report a crime.

A serious crime.

A crook.

In a blue suit.

My auntie's got him.