Original subtitles

Yeah.

Ah, potato.

A little help. By the way, where have you been? I've been so worried.

That damn car again.

Not again.

I had to push that car from Southwark to here. Ah, gladi my back.

I am in serious pain. Let me rub it for you.

Rub.

Rub you, rub you, rub.

Lower, lower.

To the left. To the right.

Ah,

potato.

Why don't you take me upstairs and massage me like I have never seen

Bayo, the kids will be home any time soon.

So what? With all the money that I've spent on them, I can run around this

naked if I want to. You, this man, take it easy, please. I have got a calamity.

What is wrong with your phone? I rang you but got no answer.

That phone is rubbish.

Broken phone, broken back, broken car. Oh, can this day get any worse? Don't

worry.

I'll make it better. I've made your favorite food.

Fried potato.

Dinner is

delayed permanently.

This is officially the worst day of my life.

I'm sure it will not get any worse from here.

Hello? Yes.

Hold on, please.

It's your area manager. He said he has some urgent news.

Area manager, how are you?

We thank God, though.

Huh? You say fire?

Hey, Lord, I spoke too soon.

Okay.

I understand.

Oh, by you.

My boss at work.

Has been fired.

Eh? And the area manager wants me to apply for the role.

Yes, you must.

Prayer is the key. That's right. Prayer is the key. One more time.

Prayer is the master key.

Oh, my potato. This is the best day of my life.

I will be the area manager.

Oh, this is my time to shine.

Fonke!

Fonke!

Tony! What are you doing? Why are you distracting me? You need to keep

There's still loads to do tonight. Stop staring at the customers.

Tony, were you not the one who said that the customer is always number one?

Yes. So this customer is my number one. He's my future husband.

If I had a Naira for every time you said that, I could have retired by now.

Yeah.

If you had that, you wouldn't have this cafe.

Anyway, I always see him hanging around my bio.

His name is Frank.

Frankie.

Franco. My love.

His wife divorced him three years ago.

You see?

His tragedy is my triumph.

I'm going to marry him. Marry him?

You have to ask him on a date first.

I have.

Well, he said no.

Well, he's still considering the offer.

But I will catch him.

Well, your Franco needs more tea.

Take that as your opportunity.

Frank, would you like to know

a thing?

Know what?

No, I will not go on a date with you. You have asked me a hundred times.

But why not? Because I do not like... Hello, Bayo?

Really?

You're joking.

He was fired?

Now this is the kind of news I want to hear in the morning.

I was only offering you tea.

Look, whatever you are offering, the answer remains no.

Sorry, my lord. I was just talking to you.

Doesn't look like he's still considering it, Funko.

I can't leave you alone.

Tonight is this important charity function I'm holding.

I am not interested in charity.

Are you sure?

A lot of local men are putting themselves up for auction.

Single men?

Give me the list.

Don't get too excited, Funke.

I'm not on it.

You wish.

Frank!

After all these years, the blood, the sweat,

the tears, I have finally, reached this moment.

I will need you.

That's right. I am the most qualified man for the job. I am the boss that all

you have been looking for.

And you were the man to train me.

It'll be an honor to be led by you.

Thank you. Look, if you're the boss...

Please don't give me any more work to do. Gary. Lizzie, Lizzie, Gary. We all

know you don't do any work anyway, so I don't expect that to change.

Puris, you're the man.

Do you mind if I take a nap? I,

for one, look forward to you being in charge of bio.

Thank you very much.

That's your lip from off his behind, Karen. He has not got the job yet.

Frank, after all these years of you and me working together and suffering in

this country, Why is it that you have to be the doubting Thomas?

I was going to promote you as assistant manager.

Good morning, London team.

As you know, we are in a regretful situation. Right, that's right.

But I've had to let your boss go.

Which means the office needs a new person to step up.

Take charge. That's right, Mr. Foster.

And I am the man for the job. Me. Me.

By you. I demand your department head. It has a ring to it, right?

Everyone here is in agreement that I should be put forward for the role as

manager.

Not everyone.

What? Oh, I know you've been put forward for the position, but so has someone

else.

Frank.

I will have to interview both of you and decide who really is the best man for

the job.

Interviews commence this afternoon.

I look forward to seeing you both.

Explain to me again.

What is this?

Charity auction.

Auntie, it's like eBay.

But you pay for the men.

The highest bidder wins a date with them.

Pay? Men have to pay me to date them.

Me.

Fine yellow babe.

What are you talking about?

Auntie, it's for charity.

So, the nicer the guy, the higher the bid.

So, these men are forced to go out with the highest bidder. Yeah.

And they cannot get out of it?

No, it's for charity after all.

Now I know how I can get my frank.

But, Auntie, you're broke.

So how are you going to get the money?

I don't know.

What do you suggest?

Suggest something now. You're the one with the brain.

You can get people to donate.

I mean, it is for charity.

You're practically a charity case.

That is a great idea.

People,

donate

to the Funke Fund.

Wonderful.

Donation for a good cause.

Yes.

FUNKE fund.

Desperate woman seeking funds.

Anybody donate to the FUNKE

fund.

It's for a good cause.

Come on.

This is for FUNKE fund. FUNKE charity raising fund for two pence.

You're too pricey. Look who's talking.

Nonsense. They don't have any money.

They only come to this cafe because it is cheap.

So, auntie, what are you going to do now?

Oh, don't know.

Oh, don't know.

What? My friend, what money do you have? Oh, you're a desperate woman. I'll take

you out and you'll be nice.

Where do you want to take me to? To Oxfam or Bernardo's? No, my friend, get

of the door.

Get out.

You are seeking this place out. You are contaminating the food.

Auntie,

where are you going?

I'm going to the bank to get a loan.

Look, there is no mountain high enough, no depth deep enough for my love.

I can bank on Frank.

How could you go against me?

After all these years of us working together, and to think I even got you

job. I put in a good word for you, and now I have a few different words. And

believe me, they're not very good.

Bayo, I'm sorry, but I need to look after my family. My friend, you're a

backstabber, Judas.

No, no, Bayo.

I'm going to go for that interview, and I'm going to take that job from you. I

reject it. You reject it? I reject it. You reject it?

you've got to do is prepare well and let the best man win.

That's right, Carrie.

That is why I am picking you to help me prepare for the interview.

Really, Bayo? Of course, now.

Everything you are is because of me, and you are the one to convince Mr. Foster

that I am the man for the job.

It will be a pleasure.

Hey, that's not fair.

That means I'm stuck with Carrie.

Don't worry, Frank.

You can rely on me.

As I was saying to you, Carrie, when you first got here, D -T -A.

Don't trust anybody, nobody, no bugger.

Even friends like Frank, they want to snatch your position.

Backstabbers are everywhere, Carrie.

But I never thought Frank would do such a thing. No, and to think that he's one

of my closest colleagues here.

Well, as the saying goes...

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Let's get down to business, Bayo. Okay, the strategy is to use big...

Long, complicated words to show your intelligence.

That's right. No problem. I'm Nigerian. We like to use big words.

Going, knowing your vision, what you want to do to make changes. Have a

manifesto in mind.

Karen, with all the problems and discrimination I've had in this country,

rather a manifesto for the past 20 years.

Great. Well, let me have a look at that.

OK.

Yeah.

We can tailor this.

Yeah, make it really punchy and straight to the point, ready to impress Mr.

Foster. Karen, when I get this job, you'll be one of the first people that I

promote you. Uh -huh. I can rely on you, Karen.

Oh, yes, you can.

Never thought you'd apply for the job.

Well, it's about time I stood up to myself. Now, Gary, I need your advice.

Gary, wake up! I don't have all day.

Just talk.

Your advice for me is to talk?

Oh, God, I need Carrie. No, no, no, no.

Talk like he's one of your mates. Like you're down the pub.

He's a Man U fan, so talk about the season.

85 % of your financial success is due to personality and ability to communicate.

15 % is due to technical knowledge.

Carrie, when did you learn all that?

Made it up, but it sounds good, doesn't it?

So, I think we should talk about this football.

You want the job, don't you?

When I get the job, you will be the first person I promote.

No, you're okay.

I just like to show up, do as little as possible, get paid, and then go home.

In fact, when you're born, could you give me less to do?

Of course.

Oh, decent, decent.

Good luck, Frank, because you are going to need it. You are going to need all

the luck, my friend.

Okay.

Yeah, join me in the morning. Thank you. Bye -bye.

So, Bio.

Yes, sir.

Tell me your plans going forward and why you should be considered for the role.

To be or not to be is the greatest question from a certain Mr. William

Bill, as I like to call him.

I have advertised the answer for a long duration, and I feel that I am the most

distinguished, elegant, auspicious, competent, translucent, coherent, and

most professional candidate with the highest acclimatabilities. Thank you

much, and thank you very much.

I'm sorry, you've lost me.

I'll start again.

To be or not to be is the greatest question from a certain Mr. William

Bill, as I like to call him. I have advertised the answer... So, tell me why

you think you'd be the ideal leader of the department.

Mate, we share a hero, a leader, the great Sir

Alex Faggoston.

He once said his goal was to knock those Liverpools off their patch.

I am Sir Alex Ferguson.

My team are the Red Devils and our housing competition are those good -for

-nothing Liverpool scouts.

Got it?

Frank, I'm actually a Liverpool fan.

You did great. Oh, thank you, Karin. I think your advice really helped.

But, Gary, why did you tell me he was a Man United fan?

Well... Bio told me. All is fair in war, my

friend. So, after an eventful interview process, which has

thankfully ended, I've reached a conclusion.

To be perfectly honest, I was very disappointed in both of you.

Bio, I had no idea what you said.

And half of the words I think you made up. And Frank, I think you thought we

were down the pub.

And that man you showed.

Shocking.

However, I've reached a conclusion.

Stop.

Before you say anything, I need to speak.

It's a bit last minute.

Yeah, yeah. I know, Mr. Potter, but I'll be short and sweet.

I need to tell you why I should get the job.

Karen,

don't be crossing me.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Bail.

I want to radically change things around here.

Remove... the bad, and increase our productivity.

I have spotted ten million pounds worth of savings that the council can make,

plus elusive new revenue streams that we can explore.

Karen, that was in my manifesto, and you told me to take it out.

Let the lady speak, Biles. You've had your go.

I will lead with dignity, with respect, with enthusiasm.

I have come from a tough background, been through so much and travelled so

just to be here.

I have never let anything in my background hold me back. No obstacle has

stood in my way. I am an achiever, and together we can all achieve.

Who's with me?

Yay!

Karen?

Yes, sir?

That was extraordinary.

You've got the job.

Thank you, sir.

Will you come with me and discuss it? Of course.

Come on.

That is

what happens when North Africans go against each other.

We should have talked together.

Frank, she thinks she has won the war, but this is just the beginning.

I will make sure that she pays and she will fail. Are you with me?

I am with you.

Going!

Going!

Come on, ladies, it's for charity. Give me a price of cannibal remote for

Tyrone.

Never mind.

That's a shame, because he's lovely to his mother.

Moving on to Bola. What do I have for Bola? Five pounds? Five pounds.

Ten pounds?

Fifteen pounds?

Fifteen pounds.

Fifteen pounds.

Bola sold.

And now we have an extra special chicken in the basket tonight. The date with

Frank. Right, auntie. The best way to show people you mean business is to go

high. Let's start the bidding at five pounds. Do I have five pounds?

Five pounds.

Ten pounds.

Two hundred pounds.

You sure?

Uh -uh.

Did you hear what I said? Are you deaf?

Two hundred pounds.

That's my auntie. Show them.

Do we have any more takers on two hundred pounds?

Going once.

Going twice.

Are you sure about this, Funke? Because I'm not paying for it.

Good. Stop the Funke for two hundred pounds. She wins the date with Frank.

My Frankie Bobo.

That's right.

Aunty, I can't believe you won it.

Yes.

I told you, Shadi. I will do anything for him.

But what bank actually loaned you money?

All I know is that I have to pay exactly ten days.

It's an investment.

As soon as I win Frank's heart...

He can pay.

Hey, Shadi, how are you?

How's Julie? Frankie, Frankie.

You couldn't resist.

You were so excited.

So when do we go on this date?

Look, Puka, I've already told you, I am not interested.

But I won the bid in the auction.

Auction? What auction?

The auction you put your name down for.

You too? Look, I didn't put my name down for any auction. What are you talking

about? Oh, God.

There must be a mistake.

If you are not the Frank, then who is the Frank that I put my 200 pounds down

today?

Hello, funky.

I knew you'd come to your dentist.

You ready for that tight, then?