Original subtitles

Thank you.

I know I only have myself to blame.

Why do you keep taking the test? I thought you told me you like riding the

I do.

I do.

When you have your driver's license, you're somebody, you know?

Well, did you ever want to be somebody?

I am somebody.

Right. But I mean, like, besides a grocery clerk. Somebody more special.

When I was younger, I, uh...

I used to want to be a detective.

I'm about to show that Holmes hat.

I thought it belonged to the real Holmes.

What color is your world?

Mine? Gray.

Rust encrusted seesaw where the wee ones used to play.

T 'wasn't very long ago my life was sweet as wine.

Now I'm counting cloudbursts. What are you working on?

Stay out of my business, Helen.

You wanted to see me? Have a seat.

Tracy, you've always been a good employee.

I admire your work ethic and your can -do attitude. Excuse me. The way you...

I being fired?

It's Helen, isn't it? She told you things about me, didn't she?

Well, I want you to know that she's a liar.

And I saw her take the avocado dip off the shelf for her break as recently as

last... Tracy, you're not being fired, okay?

I'm not?

No! I've got something for you.

My wife and I were supposed to go to this show, but we got roped into this

couples retreat thing.

I just think it's something you'd enjoy. And hey, you could take a date.

That's pretty short notice.

Oh, I don't know.

I just would really love to see you with someone.

I should ask Connie if she has any friends who might be right for you.

Where's Peggy?

She's probably still sewing up your pants.

You know, you must be more careful.

It was an accident.

It happened because I bent over to pick up a roll of quarters.

Okay.

Tonight at dinner, I want you to commit one roll, one pat of butter. Can you do

that, Tracy?

Here's your pants. This is the best I could do with my machine.

Do you want me to take him to work? It's okay.

You know, you might want to invest in another pair of pants in case that

again.

Probably a good idea.

I'll take Grace.

Father?

This woman came into this lesson hall today, and she had the cutest baby. His

name was Ariel.

Have you heard that name for a baby boy?

I haven't.

I'm going to name my next stuffed animal Ariel.

Honey, you know, I'm really looking forward to the day when you're naming

live, human babies, not just plush ones.

I know. Whatever happened to that really nice boy that you used to work with?

What was his Ronald?

Will be?

What happened to him?

He disappeared. I didn't like him that way anyway.

Well, but... You see, you don't have to be in love with somebody to go out on a

date with them. I mean, the less romance, fairy tales, storybook, the

I was madly in love with your father. Look how that turned out. I mean, that's

why I can't stand looking at his face. He looks just like your... Hey, Mom,

stop. No, she's right.

I do look an awful lot like Dad.

I want to know some more of that.

Would you please share that with your sister?

Attend the tale of lovers three, of sisters twain and a rogue.

That's me.

Harken back to a time of kings of well -starched clothes and copper rings. I

suppose all this is my fault again.

Oh, stop your patronizing, Greta.

A time of quarrels, a time of war, when lovers thought to touch

the very stars.

Let me ask you this, my lady.

If I were a ravenous wolf, blood dripping from my very jaws, would you

with me thus?

No. Wolves don't speak.

This one does.

Oh, it's only you.

Only? You had me sore afraid.

Did I?

Well, maybe just a little.

I bet you say that to all the boys.

Good day, Anna.

Good day, Greta.

Let's never fight again.

Agreed.

And they never did.

Or did they?

Ideally, you should be able to fit 13 items in each bag, but since you're just

getting started, I think nine is a good goal for you.

One more.

Good. Oh, I forgot to mention.

You're going to want to double knot those shoelaces.

Spend the whole day on your feet.

Sneak.

Ask me how many on -the -job injuries are caused by stray laces each year.

What? How many?

Wow.

And that's why I always double bang, because, I mean, when that kind of thing

happens, you just don't... One drink is special!

Whoa.

There must be some confusion.

You know one's special?

Uh... She doesn't speak English so well, obviously.

We'll take two personal size pizzas, please. That's what we ordered.

You know what? The Tracy is what you get every day.

I think she has me confused with some other Tracy.

But isn't that your picture on the wall?

No special today. We'll just take two personal size pizzas.

So tell me about yourself, Mr. Candace Cooley.

What do you want to know?

The usual.

Hopes, dreams, goals.

I don't know.

I'd like to join Special Forces one day.

Really?

My dad says I don't have a snowball's chance in the hell on account of my

attitude.

But he's a drunk, so I don't listen to much of what he says anyway.

Say no more.

So how about you?

You got any big plans, or are you just going to sit around here?

That's a good question.

I used to think that my future lay in the grocery store, but it seems that

has blown me another way.

Yeah? To what?

Well, it's kind of still in the early stages, so I'm a little hesitant to talk

about it, but I think I've figured out what I'm supposed to be.

Good evening, class.

If you're here for Acting Fundamentals Level 1, this is the room, and I am the

man.

My name is Truman Hope.

How are we doing tonight?

Terrific.

Excuse me.

What are you doing?

What? What are you doing?

Taking notes.

Notes.

Why?

Exhibit A will not teach you how to act.

You cannot learn how to act from a book. You cannot learn by taking notes.

You understand?

What is your name, my friend?

Tracy.

Tracy. Would you like to learn how to become an actor?

Yeah. Do you think you can learn by jotting down notes in some notebook?

Well... Because the only place you should be taking notes, Tracy... The

place.

Place your hand on my chest.

It's okay.

It's okay.

What do you feel, Tracy?

Heartbeat?

Exactly. Thank you.

Good evening.

Good night. Good night, Joanne.

Mr. Hope? Yes.

Tracy. Tracy, of course.

I just want to tell you that I found you in that play.

Which play was that?

The Importance of Being Sister.

Ah, yes.

Corvus Chapin.

His work tickles me.

He seems to understand more than any other modern playwright the gulf that

exists between woman and man. That was actually my second time doing Sisters.

Last time I played the vicar.

I just thought you should know that I love to watch you act.

The way you command the stage.

Thank you.

It's a...

Rare pleasure to be able to share one's gift.

Good night.

May I have my notebook?

Oh, my goodness.

Please, forgive me.

And by the way, thank you for allowing me to use you as an example. It's so

crucial on the first night to lay down the law. Oh, I couldn't agree more.

In fact, I'd probably throw this whole thing away right now, except for more

than just a notebook.

Okay.

It's my book of secrets.

Well, so we'll see you next week then.

Deal.

To be able to step into a character, put on his shoes, walk around, breathe the

air that he breathes, I mean, truthfully, it's the first time I've

years.

You know, they say that acting's a great stress reliever.

Hey, have you ever thought about taking a drama class or anything like that?

You know, I think a lot of stuff is pretty queer.

Hey, you remember how I told you about my dad?

About him being a drunk?

Mm -hmm.

That's kind of hard to talk about.

It's just, I'm kind of in trouble at school with one of my teachers, Mr.

Waverly. He wants to have a meeting with my dad.

Thing is, my dad finds out about this, and he's going to let loose on me.

So, I was thinking maybe you could pretend to be my dad.

What good would that do?

Why, aren't you some kind of actor now?

Candace, I'm white.

You're what?

Laotian. Laotian? My mom's from Laos. Where? But my dad's white.

And the thing is, no one at school has ever met him. Candace, no.

Tracy, come on.

It's the principal.

I think you could do it. No, no, no, no.

Under no circumstances.

I absolutely refuse to be part of this.

My wife Peggy and I were Christian missionaries of Southeast Asia.

And being around all those little oriental cuties, she got baby hungry.

But as much as we tried, and boy did we try, it just didn't take.

Don't get me wrong, me, I'm as potent as Pocani thought.

It's my wife who had the trouble of the moon.

Between me and you, she had a hole in her juice box.

She was as impregnable as Hitler's bunker.

But one day in the tiny country of layoffs, I saw a little fellow working

alongside his mother in a field. Couldn't have been more than three years

He walked right out of that rice paddy and into my arms.

Beautiful thing.

My wife Peggy says, can we keep him?

And his mama says, why not? I got six others where that one came from.

Just be sure and call them kids.

I didn't know that was an Asian name.

It is.

What's it mean?

Ordinary boy.

Cop.

It worked. Got it? Yeah!

Amazing.

Yeah, so where's your boy, man?

He's coming.

Good job, dude. Good job.

Thanks. Good morning, guys.

These are my friends.

Me and the guys were talking and everything, and we thought it was pretty

cool what you've done for Kendis.

Well, he's happy to do it. He's a great kid.

Yeah, he is.

Anyways, I was wondering, maybe you could do us a favor.

What do you need?

Nice. I thought you said it was for your dad.

Yeah. Yeah, it's for all our dads.

Can you hear my thoughts?

Do you know what I'm feeling?

Some said man would never fly.

But I'll tell you something.

I'm flying.

I'm flying.

Maybe you can't see my wings.

But they're there.

Can't you see me fly?

Way up high.

Flying like a condor.

to touch the delicate colors on the edge of the sky?

Some said man would never fly.

But I'll tell you, pilgrim, that is a lie.

As for me, I fly.

I fly.

We're on.

Just a minute.

Laura.

Your breath smells of beaches and your skin of lilacs.

You smell like the Black Forest.

I know you want me to hurt you again tonight, but... You must.

I can't. I won't.

There's got to be another way.

This is the only way.

That was lovely. Very nice.

Very nice.

Lovely. Lovely.

For those of you who performed tonight, great work.

Great work.

And those of you putting up your scenes next week, study your lines.

Remember, an actor prepares.

Always.

Good night.

What's your story?

I'm just happy is all.

Well, you should be. Those were some courageous choices you made.

Can I say it?

This class has been really good for me.

Well, I'm glad I could be of service.

One thing that I've learned is that... Excuse me.

If you have a talent, the universe wants you to share it.

Gosh, that is so true.

Everything you say is so true.

Well, thank you.

Hey, I picked up a flyer today.

I guess some German actor's coming to town to share his expertise.

What was his name? Rucker Hauser? Rutger Hauer. You've heard of him? Heard of

him? He's a big movie star.

Blade Runner, Blind Fury, Lady Hook, The Hitcher. He's actually from Holland.

You don't know Rutger Hauer?

Oh, that guy, yeah.

Anyways, I was thinking if you want, I could pick you up an extra ticket and we

could call it a guy's night out. That's actually a lovely gesture, but

unfortunately... It'd be my treat.

Oh, come on. I can't have my students out there.

It'd be so much fun.

You're such a smart guy. I just can't imagine what it'd be like to spend time

with you.

When did you say it was again?

Two weeks from Wednesday.

You know what? Let's do it. Guy's night out.

Oh, that is great news.

It'll be a lot of fun.

I'm going to pick your brain, Mr. Truman Hope.

Terrific.

Good night, then.

Oh, and Truman, thanks.

For everything.

Pretty interesting crowd at church today, don't you think?

Do you like them?

They smell like grandma's house. They're pretty young to be smoking.

Yeah, I know.

I'm trying to get them to quit. You know, one step at a time, one foot in

of the other.

They seem pretty rowdy. You really think you can make a difference?

Yeah.

Peggy, I never realized it before, but I have enough for relating to teens. I

mean, even rowdy teens.

You should see the way these kids look at me.

I'm their whole world.

Tracy, you hated being a teenager. What makes you think you can relate to them?

Peggy, if only you could hear how dumb you sound right now.

I mean, with teens, it's about compromise.

You've got to take a step in their direction before they're going to take a

in yours.

Wow. Sounds like you've really thought about it. I have.

I mean, these guys, they get me, you know?

And I get them.

And if I've learned anything lately, it's that one heart in the right place

make a world of difference.

Tracy. Hello.

Hi.

You know Jolene from class.

Hi.

Hey.

I loved your reading from Nuts.

I gotta go rent that movie.

Jolene just got a part in Devil May Care at the Brown.

Hey, look at you.

Today the Brown, tomorrow Broadway?

We should get in there.

Well, you know, actually, I was thinking that this might be something Jolene

here might appreciate, too.

Unfortunately, we've just got the two tickets, and I think they're sold out.

About that.

Actually, I was thinking that she might use your ticket.

We just thought that because we're on more of a professional track right now

that we might get a little bit more out of it.

Is there going to be a problem with that?

Do you think?

Why would there be?

Good, great.

After all, I'm the novice here, right? Here to learn from you guys.

It was horrific.

Thanks. I really appreciate it.

I owe you one, buddy.

I will have a pastrami golden double with... Spicy fries and a large root

Let's see, what did Denise want?

Oh yeah, a chicken bacon ranch with onion rings and a strawberry super

What you write?

Nothing.

In a letter?

Maybe.

About pen pal?

Yeah, pen pal. I got three pen pals.

There's Paola.

He lives in Italy. He's 19.

And there's Maddie.

She lives in South Africa.

We're the same age.

But we've been writing each other ever since.

Nobody cares.

How long have you been working here now, Tracy?

Eleven years.

Eleven years?

That long?

What?

Well, let's see if we can't make it eleven more.

Congratulations, you are my new assistant manager.

Really? Yes, you are.

Oh, Mr. Grigoratis, thank you so much. I promise I won't let you down.

Good, because I'm counting on you.

Get the hell out of here.

Is this video appropriate for minors?

Yes! Yes!

You alright, man?

I'm sorry, I just...

Think I'm gonna be okay. I've never seen anything like that before in my life.

Yeah, I heard it was banned in like seven states.

I'm glad you're okay.

You got some like corn or something in your chin there.

How much money you make over there at the store, Tracy, in a day?

I mean, as a store, you know.

Last Saturday, I think we cleared $3 ,000.

Oh.

What do you ask?

Well, I'm wondering if you can do us a favor.

Sure, I'd love to.

Yeah? Yeah.

Well, see, sister just had a baby.

Congratulations.

That's a boy.

Yeah. The trouble is that that butt dart that knocked her up won't cough up, you

know, even a nickel to help out. Oh.

You know, and what we want to do is that we want to put together a little

something to help her along, you know, help her out and make sure that little

guy gets a good start on things.

Sure. Yeah.

That's cool.

Right. So, I mean, what we're thinking is, you know, one of these nights.

A weekend, you know.

When you and Candace are the only ones at the store, we come on in there,

and you give us all the money that you made for the day.

And then we give it to your sister, you know, for the little guy.

Right.

I mean, obviously, I can give him a lot of...

trouble if today's earnings went missing yeah sure that's why all you gotta do

tracy is just call the cops after we leave you know just tell them you were

robbed ain't no big deal right but that's still mr gregoratis's money i'd

giving away he's a rich guy i mean you've seen the chevy malibu he drives

won't miss a few dollars plus if you knew where the money was going i'm sure

would just hand it right over hey that's an idea why don't we just ask him

Oh, Tracy, you know, the funny thing about people is, you know, once you ask

them for money, all of a sudden they ain't got none, you know?

You know?

No, we can't take the chance that he might say no.

I don't know, guys.

I mean, I'm his assistant manager.

We'll see, huh, Tracy?

Finish up your poem and show me later.

Potatoes are cold.

What? They are.

Your sister worked 45 minutes so you can stuff those potatoes in here. Come on,

Mom.

No, she's right.

I could stand to lose about 10 pounds.

Well, it's carbs mostly, you know, like those potatoes there. But it's also rice

and pasta and bread.

I know.

I'm wrapping up to getting started on acting together at the beginning of next

month.

Your sister has a suitor coming over tonight.

Really?

It's a gentleman I met at the fluff and fold.

He had ripped the seat out of his pants.

It's a common problem for the husky gentleman.

Oh, he's not husky. In fact, he's quite handsome.

Wow.

I'm tagging on a date.

Hey, we've got some Neapolitan in the icebox. I could make sundaes.

Oh, my.

Oh, dear.

What? Oh, you're... your hair it's a tangled mess come upstairs let me see

i can do with it

Hello, I'm here to see Peggy.

Terry!

Tracy.

Right. How you doing, buddy?

Hi. Hi.

Um, this is my mom, Agnes. Agnes, this is Mr.

Truman Hope.

Agnes.

Lovely. Like Agnes of God.

Pardon?

It's a play by, um, Harold Pinter.

Oh. What's it about?

It's about a nun who gets raped by a lunatic.

Oh.

It's very moving.

So I guess you met my brother already?

Well, actually, I teach an acting class here in town, and Terry was one of my

students. Nothing.

Truman was in an episode of JAG. Well, actually, it was a three -episode arc.

extended guest role is what they call it.

So you two are brother and sister?

Really?

Yeah, but don't let the weight fool you. I mean, obesity does not run in this

family. Peggy, Peggy, she eats like a bird. Her bones are very thin.

This one's a bit of an anomaly.

We're trying to get him to lose a little weight. He just has a bit of a sweet

tooth. Why don't I take you on a tour?

You bet.

It was lovely meeting you.

And great to see you again.

Right this way.

Tracy, help me clear the table.

Oh, can you imagine if your sister plays her cards right? She'll be walking down

the aisle in six months.

And then, grandchildren.

I taught her well. Let's see what she remembers.

You don't give them everything they want. Not at first, anyway.

This guy.

No, no. He's handsome. He's talented. He's passionate. And let's not forget,

had a major role in a television series. It's an extended guest role, okay?

And he only seems like a gentleman.

Tracy, are you trying to ruin my only chance at grandchildren?

So, um, this is Mr. Joffrey, and this is Dan Rand, and this is Pinky

Peters. Um, and the frog behind you is Bob's app.

104.

104.

That's an awful lot of children for one mother.

Yeah.

But wait a second. If you were their mother, then how come they all have

different last names?

Well, I'm their adopted mom. I don't know who their real parents were.

Well, hold on. If you don't know who their parents were, then how do you know

what their last names are?

I don't.

But it's the names that I give them that matter.

Wow.

There's something about you that's so real.

You remind me of some character I once read in a novel. I just can't think

one.

I think the motor in that might be broken.

I can fix it for you if you like.

That's okay. I like it that way. It reminds me that I'm not the only thing

that's broken around here.

I'm joking.

You're a prisoner here, aren't you?

How do you mean?

A prisoner on this earth, in this town, in this house.

Do you ever feel that way?

Sometimes.

The only thing that you can trust is what you feel.

The rain on your face.

The dirt under your shoes.

The smell of the jungle.

Death.

Death is real.

And this is real.

And this is

real.

Hey, Helen.

Hey.

Helen, I've told you before, if you have perishable items to put away, those go

back first, and then the dry goods. So will you please put those peas away

before they melt?

When you do go back, you do them your way. When I do them, I do them mine.

Helen, as assistant manager...

I'm going to have to ask you to put those peas away now.

It's an order.

Hey, Tracy.

I'm an assistant manager, too.

You're an assistant manager. I am. I've been one for three months.

Technically, that gives me seniority over you.

What are you talking about? There can only be one assistant manager.

Says who?

Lyle's been assistant manager for four years. That's longer than both of us.

You put those peas away.

It's true. What?

I never said you were my only assistant manager.

Yeah, but Helen, Lyle, me, is everybody an assistant manager?

Candace isn't, but he's got potential.

So I'm no different from anybody else. Why do you need to be?

You can't have a store full of assistant managers.

Look, Tracy, this isn't a hard store to run. I don't even need one assistant

manager. But I figure, Why not make people feel good?

Give them a title.

Something that'll motivate them to work a little harder.

I get it.

I need to work harder.

Hey, buddy.

Keep your chin up.

Okay, so let's go over this again.

As soon as we see the boss leave, we wait three minutes.

Then we go in there.

That's when you head to the door and stand lookout.

Okay?

Now, if by some chance there's some idiot customer in there, then we might

to put on a bit of a show, okay?

That's why we'll have these.

Okay.

Now, Candace, you're gonna be the only other witness there, so you make damn

sure that your guys' stories match, okay? I mean, you gotta decide, guys.

Is it going to be a Latino male, 5 '8", medium build?

Or is it going to be a black teenager, 6 '0"? It's important.

Hey, Tracy.

Will you be sure to change the gravel in the cigarette trays out front?

Mrs. Butterson said she saw a bloody Band -Aid in one.

Night, boys. I'm taking my sweetie out for a steak.

Now, Mr. G.

Welcome to Legrand.

That's not the right price on that.

Huh?

That sounds special.

Uh, that's ringing up at $3 .98, sir. Well, that isn't the correct price. I

won't pay a penny more than $2 .47 for it.

Okay, I'll just run a price check on that.

Um, actually, just take it.

As a gift.

For your years of patronage. In fact, why don't you call the... What's going

here? It's, um... It's Customer Appreciation Day.

And you won.

So, just go ahead and take these things and leave.

I don't know what's going on here, but something ain't right.

Good night, sir.

Congratulations.

You don't need to count all that, Tracy. Just put the money in the bag.

Well, it's just that we didn't make as much as we usually do on weekends. We

only cleared about 1 ,700.

Okay. I was thinking you could come back next week, hopefully have a bigger haul

around 3 ,000 for the baby.

Why are you pulling your gun on me?

To get you to hurry up.

I thought you were only going to do that if someone was here. I mean, to make a

show.

Hurry. Sean, I need to know if that gun loaded because...

If it's loaded, I can't have you pointing it at my face.

Hurry!

As fast as you can.

All right.

You want the food stamps?

What? They're not legal tender, but you can get a lot of good things with them.

Just hurry, Tracy.

What the hell are you doing?

You guys better move it.

Hey, Sean, we gotta go, man.

I'll get this over with.

You know what?

I'm gonna get you for this, Tracy.

They were gang members from the looks of it, and they were Mexican.

You know how they can be.

I think they called them cholo.

What happened in church? Where were your friends?

That didn't turn out like I thought it would.

What happened? I thought you were supposed to be their guidance counselor

something.

I'm sorry.

You can't trust anyone.

You know that, Peggy?

You're a pessimist. You and Mom both.

Oh, it's true. I mean, you're probably my only real friend.

Come on, you have plenty of friends.

Oh, yeah?

Name three.

You have plenty of friends.

Are you Tracy Orbison?

Yes. Do you know a boy by the name of Sean Dunlop?

And he offered me $200 and season tickets to Six Flags.

I told him to go to hell. I said, go to hell, you know, but I just thought I

should let you guys know about it anyways, you know.

You did the right thing by coming to us.

You're under arrest for the solicitation of sex from a minor.

You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

You have the right to an attorney.

If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Do you

understand?

Every moment.

You know why there's fat boys in here, huh?

He likes... He likes little boys.

Hey!

Hey! Hey, fatty!

Hey, fatty!

Fatty! You hungry?

Uh -huh.

Because I've got a candy bar for you.

Hey!

Oh, you do fat to talk.

We seek grace.

Dear God, we know you're angry.

Please help my promiscuous daughter and my misguided son see the error of their

ways. Amen.

Is there any napkins?

I heard from a social worker friend of mine that it looks good in these kinds

situations if the accused is in some sort of treatment program.

It's a kind of way to show the judge that you're on the road to recovery.

And I discussed it with Peggy, and we realized that we owe it to you and to

ourselves and, frankly, our unborn children to help you get better.

Hear us out. It's a program called STRIVE, and it's through the Dayspring

Institute. Truman went through it last year, and just last week we went through

it as a couple. It helped us root out the lies we'd been telling ourselves all

our lives. It's a way of kicking down the doors to the mind.

Of opening our souls to the abundance of life.

Myself, it empowered me to finally get in touch with the universe, with a

capital U.

And incidentally, it's, you know, it's really helped my acting.

We would like to be your angels.

That's a Dayspring talk for... We want to sponsor you.

I don't know, guys. It's not for me.

Comes the attitude, I told you. Plus, it seems like this would be an admission

of guilt.

I'm innocent, I've told you.

Oh, boy.

I don't even know why I bothered. Peggy, come on.

These accusations, do they sound like me? Do they sound like your brother?

You know what, baby?

We should go. Really?

Wait. Guys, come on.

Hey.

You're mad at me.

Look, I had nothing to do with this, okay?

It was John's idea to make up those stories about you.

Tracy, listen to me.

Those guys are a bunch of tools.

I don't even hang out with them anymore.

Listen to me.

Tracy, yeah.

Now,

I understand you're going through a situation right now. Yes.

And I want to thank you, Mr.

Gregoradus. You have been nothing but supportive and understanding through

whole mess.

Well, actually, Tracy, that's what I needed to talk to you about.

There's something... I don't know.

Well... How should I say?

This is not working.

It's not my legal situation?

No, no.

That's a matter for the court. No, no.

This... It's about this.

What does this mean?

Trust.

Communication.

Enthusiasm. Motivation.

What can I do better?

Tracy, this... This is so hard.

Don't worry about it.

I'll go.

Wait. I need the badge.

And the apron.

The shirt.

Actually, keep it.

Wash it and bring it back to me.

Looks like someone's not assistant manager anymore, huh?

Hey. Wow.

You're here for the audition, right?

Yeah. I figured I'd give it a shot. I mean, I probably won't get it, but...

Cool. Listen, I better go inside. They're, you know, making me go ahead

I'm back.

Break a leg. You too.

Though you have skin and weave scales, though you have eyes and weave slorts,

perhaps men and Brindor are not so very different.

Nice to see you again.

Say, how'd it go?

Ah, you know.

Come on, you're the king of auditions.

We'll see.

Listen, I gotta run, but, uh...

I care about you.

On the planet where I come from, there is no death.

Lieutenant, by my telepathy, I know he speaks the truth.

What'll happen to Grok, Lieutenant?

I honestly don't know, Zork, but on my home planet, we have a place called

Heaven.

Heavens. Okay, great. That'll do. Thank you.

Wait a minute.

We have your contact info, right?

Yeah.

You have a quality.

Oh.

It's all there, I promise.

Lay the money on the ground and take two steps back.

Turn it. Get that. Turn it. Turn it off.

Broke it, dill face.

You guys need a minute?

Just give us the money, you fat tub of lard.

I was nothing but a friend to you guys.

What are you doing?

All I ever did was try and help you.

You were never our friend, okay?

You can't hurt me, Sean.

You know that?

Nothing you say or do can hurt me.

Listen, you fat fat. No, you listen to me.

You can lie to the police.

You can take me to court. You can send me to jail.

There's no way in Hades. I'm gonna give you this money

No

Mom? What are you doing?

I was making you a sack lunch for tomorrow.

And I was testing these eggs to see if they're fresh.

Sometimes, you know, late at night, Mommy gets a little anxious.

And I hate late at night.

I've just been so upset lately.

You know, I'm the worst mother in the world.

And I know God hates me.

And with your nose.

Okay.

Mom?

Do you really think I'm guilty?

Honestly, I mean, at first, no.

I could never see my baby doing something like that.

I figured it was just another way I screwed you guys up.

Mom, you're not a bad mother.

You're not a bad mother, and I'm not.

I'm a good person.

You are, sweetheart.

And one day we're going to find a girl and she's going to see all that.

We just have to get you down a few sizes. That's all.

Okay, Bob.

I've been waiting my whole life to see this.

Where you going? You're gonna miss the best part.

Hello,

please?

Uh, yeah.

I don't really know who to talk to.

There is a report filed.

A false report.

About Tracy Orbison?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, Lyle.

Hey, Tracy.

Doing a little shopping?

No, I actually just came to pick up my last paycheck.

I'm good, because you still owe me 375 bucks.

Yeah, I know I do. Is Mr.

Grigoratis here?

Let's go.

Oh, I heard they dropped the charges.

Yeah.

That's a relief.

So you're keeping this place running?

Yeah.

I memorized all the PLU codes, though Mr. G let's me check the groceries once

a while.

Not bad.

It usually takes a couple years to work your way up to checker.

Yeah.

In fact, he was so pleased with my progress, he promoted me to assistant

manager.

Oh, it's on, it's on.

Here we go.

I'm curious.

My terrameter shows no record of this terrain.

That box of bolts couldn't tell a canyon from a cow crop.

I trust my gut.

My gut tells me this is Earth.

Or wood.

Oh, this is the end.

What say you, Captain Attenborough?

What is that awful stink?

It appears to be

some sort of savage man -blog.

Thank you for watching.

What you writing in there?

It's, uh, just a poem.

Yeah?

I like poetry.

Yeah, me too.

Want to read it to me?

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah, okay.

Keep in mind, it's a whip.

It's a work in progress.

On a warm spring morn, I became

afraid. I thought I'd be alone forever.

A knot in my back, I felt courage fade and begin to catch a fever.

Are you ready?

Summer, fall, and winter passed without a change in me.

Frost on the ground and chill in the air kept me stationary.

Needless.

Then out of the blue a songbird sang and the tune brought a tear to my eye.

Something new?

Maybe hope.

Maybe not, said a voice.

And I frowned with a great big sigh.

Uh, Lobald.

You'll laugh, as you know, when a songbird sings.

He doesn't let up till the evening.

And the tune was so sweet I couldn't but laugh, and it left my teeth a -glamin'.

I

took a step to the west, shook my

fist at the sky, and cried, I'll be here for a while.

Then the sun shone down with particular grace.

And we think I saw a smile.

No, I don't care much for that.

Let you reconsider them Standing at the door of

self -discovery When the air is cold The feelings are

old Let you reconsider