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I'm Al Smith.
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I was just an average kid until an
accident changed my life.
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And since then, nothing's been the same.
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My best friend Ray thinks it's cool.
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My sister Annie thinks I'm a science
project.
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I can't let anyone else know.
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Not even my parents.
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I know the chemical plant wants to find
me and turn me into some experiment.
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But you know something?
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I guess I'm not so average anymore.
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I'm not sure how it all started, where
or when.
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But ever since I can remember, I have
loved donuts.
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Hey, Alex.
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You like it here?
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Like it here? I love it here.
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Why? Is something wrong?
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Well, you're getting older now.
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What's that got to do with anything?
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Nothing. I'll be back later. I gotta go
get glazed.
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Maybe I am getting older.
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But at least there's one thing I can
always count on.
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Donuts! They never let me down.
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It's a variation of the cinnamon swirl.
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I call it a twister.
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Hmm.
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Interesting.
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Pleasing to the eye.
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Balance.
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Fluff.
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I was wondering if some sprinkles would
put it over the top.
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Try it.
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Good news.
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Shh.
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She's chewing.
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The big companies have dozens of
official testers, but all I have is
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You mean you trust Alex to make the
decisions about donuts and stuff?
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She's like the little sister I never
had.
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So, yeah, I trust her.
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I mean, I'd like to test these on bigger
groups, but I just can't afford to
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organize something like that.
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I like it.
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I really do.
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I don't know about the sprinkles,
though.
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What if I could help you do a bigger
taste test?
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I just joined this group at the high
school called the Planet People Club.
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know, they do all sorts of environmental
things, picketing and recycling and
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stuff. But tomorrow they're having their
monthly meeting. Maybe we can have it
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here. Counting me and Alex, there would
be eight of us. Wow, eight? That'd be
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great.
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Math skills, poor.
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Reading skills, poor.
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Verbal skills, very poor.
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I hate tests.
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Well, as of January 1st, this aptitude
test is required by every employee at PV
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Chemical. But why?
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Great companies try to ensure that all
their employees are fulfilling their
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potential. Do you know what an aptitude
test is?
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Sure.
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I mean, I used to.
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00:03:52,450 --> 00:03:55,470
So what's this mean? It means you're not
good at anything.
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Now wait just a teensy minute.
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Every company needs some guy to polish a
company van and to polish...
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00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:06,030
You know, things.
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00:04:08,310 --> 00:04:12,150
Ms. Atron, sector 13, code red. It's a
situation.
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00:04:12,590 --> 00:04:16,610
I have a situation. Mr. Fredrickson,
would you take care of this, please?
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You're not going to fire me, are you?
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Lars the old boy?
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00:04:32,190 --> 00:04:33,350
Good news from the front.
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00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:36,500
The walk -a -thon we held last weekend
raised $112.
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That means we can buy another two and a
half acres of rainforest, which brings
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our total to six acres.
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From here, we have the cleanup at Rancho
Placo Beach.
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And remember, we can make a difference.
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Anything else?
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Robin?
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I just wanted to say that I think if we
all worked together, we really could
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change the world.
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Anyone else?
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I'll help you, Gloria.
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Oh, okay.
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Fresh air, fresh land, fresh water for
generations to come.
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Oh, but that's all I wanted to say.
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That's nice.
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A little dramatic, but nice.
85
00:05:22,170 --> 00:05:24,590
Don't worry, Gloria. I believe in the
cinnamon twister.
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Robin didn't even take one.
87
00:05:27,730 --> 00:05:31,310
Well, I think I know why all of a sudden
I'm so interested in the environment.
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00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:45,140
Now do you see?
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00:05:45,700 --> 00:05:49,040
Do you see what the problem is? She's a
little pale. Pale?
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She's purple.
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00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:53,940
You may have had us locked down here for
the last seven months, out of contact
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with the rest of the world, but I still
know what purple looks like when I see
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it. Look, nobody's forcing you to be TV
Chemical's pet family. If you'll recall,
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we had several hundred applicants.
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Besides, where are you going to get
room, board, and cable in exchange for
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00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:11,060
living in such lovely surroundings? I
know, I'm sorry.
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00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:12,900
We love it here, we do.
98
00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:15,400
But we are entitled to medical
attention.
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00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:17,460
I've looked at my contract.
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Oh, you have, have you?
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I've had a lot of free time.
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I passed the take -home bar exam, so I'm
a lawyer now.
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Article 12, Section 3 says that we can
see a doctor whenever we want. Let me
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you this.
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Are you or are you not losing weight?
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Yes, we are.
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I eat five meals a day, and I never have
to leave that couch.
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Unless I can't find the channel changer.
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And I have lost seven pounds.
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Listen, you have a two -year contract.
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This is science, not summer camp.
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I'll get you a doctor.
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Well, good.
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Lawyers. I hate...
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Lawyers. Miss H -Hon, I can explain.
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Last week we were experimenting with a
bigger dosage of GC -161 in the melon's
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food.
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00:07:10,820 --> 00:07:12,760
We've already made all the proper
adjustments.
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Kim will be back to her original color
in three days' time.
120
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They want a doctor now.
121
00:07:19,340 --> 00:07:22,400
Now what's a doctor going to say when he
finds out that Kim is laced with GC
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-161, an illegal and untested chemical?
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It depends on who the doctor is.
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Isn't this fun?
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Yeah.
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Ule Ula Ule
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Ula
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Will you speak to her about it?
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Yeah, sure, I'll talk to her.
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Thanks, Alex.
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You can make a difference.
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It's better we take care of this now
before more drastic measures are needed.
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Wow,
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he is really cute.
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And so well -informed.
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Please leave a message at the beep.
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Thank you.
138
00:09:45,620 --> 00:09:46,880
Lawrence Fredrickson here.
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At 6 o 'clock, you'll be given special
security clearance to Sector 13.
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We've gone over your aptitude test
again, and it appears that you might
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some skills as... a doctor.
142
00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:09,340
Even if the cinnamon twist was a hit, do
you have any
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idea how much profit I'd make?
144
00:10:11,780 --> 00:10:12,800
Um, how much?
145
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Four cents.
146
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I have advertising costs, rent... And
not to mention sprinkles, powdered
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the list goes on.
148
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I know all about the new eco plates,
Alex.
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They're just, they're too expensive.
150
00:10:27,770 --> 00:10:28,990
I tried to tell them that.
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I'd have to charge more for my donuts.
152
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And it's 65 cents. I already have the
highest price per unit in the valley.
153
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Yeah, but nobody's units taste as good
as yours.
154
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Thanks, Alex.
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Don't worry about the planet, people.
I'm sure they have more pressing
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than Wayne's wigwam.
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I hope so.
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Not as bad as it looks.
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Good, because it looks pretty bad.
160
00:10:57,510 --> 00:11:02,010
We're sitting on the greatest weight
loss drug known to man, and this little
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problem could land us both in prison.
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I told you.
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Little Miss Tons of Fun is extracting
the GC -161 as we speak.
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We just have to make her father believe
that she's getting the proper medical
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attention.
166
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:16,940
And how do you propose to do that?
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00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:22,760
Well, Phaetron, you don't want to know,
and I don't want to tell you.
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00:11:23,660 --> 00:11:26,100
Vector 13, all clearance path.
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Dr. Abelgood.
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You're right.
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I don't.
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Hello. I'm your doctor.
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What do you think you're doing?
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This is war, Alex.
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Ken said we have to force the issues.
176
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But I told you what she said. Gloria's
my friend, Robin.
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You're my friend.
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Get in line, Alex. Let's hit her where
she lives.
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You know, the environmental thing is
getting way out of hand.
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Everyone thinks, oh, I'll pick up a
couple cups and I'm saving the
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You know, they don't realize that for
business people like Gloria, things
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that simple.
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00:12:40,970 --> 00:12:42,950
There's no such thing as a free lunch,
Alex.
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Honey, come on over here and help us
with the puzzle. Come on.
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Do you know how much money Gloria makes
per unit?
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Well, I imagine it varies. For instance,
on a jelly -filled donut... Four cents!
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Four cents!
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These granola butts don't even think
about stuff like that.
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Honey, I think it's really cool that
Robin's getting you involved in this.
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00:13:00,740 --> 00:13:01,740
seem to be learning a lot.
191
00:13:02,140 --> 00:13:05,820
Don't even go there, Mom. The only
reason Robin's suddenly an
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00:13:05,820 --> 00:13:07,700
is because she thinks Kent Ruttiger is
hot.
193
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:11,480
It's not like she really thinks we can
make a difference.
194
00:13:12,340 --> 00:13:14,420
You don't think that you can make a
difference?
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00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:16,640
Mom, I'm 15. Who cares what I think?
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Besides, why should I be the one to save
the environment? I didn't mess it up.
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00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,080
I just want to eat my donuts in peace.
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Don't get me wrong.
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I know that they're bad for me and that
I should be eating healthier, but life's
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tough enough.
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00:13:30,460 --> 00:13:31,680
I've got to have my donuts.
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00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,000
What's the most donuts you've ever eaten
in one sitting?
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00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:38,100
I had five once.
204
00:13:38,660 --> 00:13:42,570
Five? Yeah, well, the first four were
really good, but about halfway through
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00:13:42,570 --> 00:13:44,270
fifth one, I started to feel really
sick.
206
00:13:45,150 --> 00:13:49,170
In fact, I remember thinking that I'd
never want to look at another donut
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00:13:49,630 --> 00:13:50,630
Can you imagine?
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Yeah, well, I've come a long way.
209
00:13:54,070 --> 00:13:55,070
Where's my donut?
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00:13:57,510 --> 00:13:58,510
I'll get it.
211
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:03,540
All I'm saying, honey, is that I think
it's great that you're involved.
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00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:04,760
What's that phrase?
213
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:06,780
Think globally, act locally.
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00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,160
Yeah, but a few styrofoam plates never
hurt anyone.
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00:14:10,780 --> 00:14:11,780
Hi, Robin.
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00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:14,140
What's this I hear about the new man in
your life?
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00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:15,800
Mrs. Mac, I agree.
218
00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:29,640
Oh, honey.
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Right here.
220
00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,130
She was.
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00:14:41,170 --> 00:14:43,010
Honey? She must have gone upstairs.
222
00:14:43,610 --> 00:14:44,610
Alex!
223
00:14:48,650 --> 00:14:49,650
Bill?
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00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:50,930
Wait a second.
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00:14:57,590 --> 00:15:01,810
In the last week, have you eaten,
touched, or in any way become involved
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00:15:01,810 --> 00:15:02,810
the following foods?
227
00:15:03,330 --> 00:15:04,330
Monkfish?
228
00:15:05,430 --> 00:15:06,430
Head cheese?
229
00:15:08,090 --> 00:15:09,090
Liverwurst?
230
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,260
I love Liv Worst.
231
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,980
I know it's far -fetched, but Dave was
the perfect candidate.
232
00:15:15,260 --> 00:15:19,600
He's loyal to us and the only person
dumb enough not to fully really
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00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,060
what's going on here.
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00:15:21,660 --> 00:15:25,320
I told him that his aptitude test
revealed that he might make a good
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00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:28,360
And you really think that the Melons are
going to buy this?
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00:15:29,860 --> 00:15:32,440
I wrote Dave a script which he has
memorized.
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00:15:32,780 --> 00:15:33,780
Trust me.
238
00:15:34,660 --> 00:15:36,680
Doctor, may I ask, what is your
specialty?
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00:15:37,940 --> 00:15:41,530
Sure. It's a fettuccine and a light
cream sauce.
240
00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:45,030
Oh,
241
00:15:45,610 --> 00:15:46,610
yeah.
242
00:15:47,310 --> 00:15:53,910
Okay, Mr. Mellon, I have examined Kim
thoroughly, and I am ready to give you
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00:15:53,910 --> 00:15:56,210
diagnosis. Well, we just want our girl
back.
244
00:15:56,470 --> 00:16:00,430
Even though she's having some unusual
side effects from the food here in PV
245
00:16:00,430 --> 00:16:05,770
Chemical's state -of -the -art testing
condo, it's my professional opinion that
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00:16:05,770 --> 00:16:06,770
she is...
247
00:16:08,140 --> 00:16:09,140
She is Foon.
248
00:16:10,340 --> 00:16:11,340
Foon?
249
00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:14,160
Yeah, Foon.
250
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,080
Foon. She's going to be Foon.
251
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:53,580
F -U -N -E. I'd pronounce it Fune.
252
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,720
Yeah, this is going very well.
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Fine, you idiot.
254
00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:00,280
She's going to be fine.
255
00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:02,100
Excuse me.
256
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,000
Ah, my trusted colleague and friend, Ms.
Atron.
257
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,339
Honey, hold hands.
258
00:17:09,599 --> 00:17:10,599
All three.
259
00:17:11,339 --> 00:17:13,119
Nice. We love you, baby.
260
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:22,640
Build any cinnamon twists?
261
00:17:23,380 --> 00:17:26,060
No. Those kids out there didn't exactly
help.
262
00:17:26,660 --> 00:17:29,220
I guess you didn't get a chance to tell
them what we talked about.
263
00:17:29,740 --> 00:17:30,860
They're very gung -ho.
264
00:17:31,340 --> 00:17:32,340
Oh, well.
265
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:36,320
Did you hear about the article in the
Paradise Valley News?
266
00:17:37,180 --> 00:17:40,200
Those planet people, or whatever they
are, buried me.
267
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,300
They just don't understand about
business, Alex.
268
00:17:43,740 --> 00:17:45,800
No offense, but they're just kids.
269
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:49,240
What's the matter?
270
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:51,800
I can't.
271
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:54,020
I don't want them anymore.
272
00:17:54,780 --> 00:17:55,780
Why not?
273
00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,540
Because I changed my mind.
274
00:18:00,660 --> 00:18:03,520
Maybe the planet people are right. You
should be using the other plates.
275
00:18:03,940 --> 00:18:04,940
Alex.
276
00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:11,020
So, until you can change, I guess I
won't be coming here anymore.
277
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,040
Oh, I see.
278
00:18:15,780 --> 00:18:17,560
So this is how you treat your friends?
279
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:22,640
after I've let you sit in here and
helped you with your homework and given
280
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:23,760
job when you needed money?
281
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:25,960
It's not about being friends, Gloria.
282
00:18:26,820 --> 00:18:28,280
It's about garbage.
283
00:18:29,140 --> 00:18:31,680
Lots of it. You make it, I make it.
284
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:34,100
It's easy to throw away, but it doesn't
just disappear.
285
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:41,040
Maybe I can't make a difference, but at
least I have to try.
286
00:18:57,550 --> 00:18:58,409
U -N -E.
287
00:18:58,410 --> 00:19:01,990
Boom. Says it right there. It's a typo.
You couldn't figure it out that I meant
288
00:19:01,990 --> 00:19:06,690
fine? Well, as you know, I didn't score
well on the test. I told you, Kim is
289
00:19:06,690 --> 00:19:10,250
fine. She's fine. I know. I'm the
doctor. All right, look, enough.
290
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:12,710
Would you just get back in there and
give her a clean bill of health?
291
00:19:13,490 --> 00:19:14,490
What's in it for me?
292
00:19:14,550 --> 00:19:15,550
What?
293
00:19:16,570 --> 00:19:19,290
Let's just say I'm not the dumb guy you
thought I was.
294
00:19:20,730 --> 00:19:22,890
Let's just say I like doing simple
things.
295
00:19:23,450 --> 00:19:25,770
Like polishing the company van.
296
00:19:26,889 --> 00:19:29,830
And that I knew that you were doing
something illegal down here and you
297
00:19:29,830 --> 00:19:30,830
my cooperation.
298
00:19:31,330 --> 00:19:32,950
Or it would wreck your whole scheme.
299
00:19:33,770 --> 00:19:34,910
What do I get out of it?
300
00:19:35,730 --> 00:19:36,730
Your job back.
301
00:19:38,530 --> 00:19:39,530
And a raise.
302
00:19:40,950 --> 00:19:42,890
Okay, here it comes. I should have
known.
303
00:19:43,570 --> 00:19:46,090
Look, write your own ticket for all I
care.
304
00:19:46,390 --> 00:19:49,170
Miss H. Look, we're going to make so
much money out of this, it's not even
305
00:19:49,170 --> 00:19:50,170
to matter.
306
00:19:50,270 --> 00:19:53,130
I'm serious. I want these people off my
back. Just name your price.
307
00:19:55,980 --> 00:19:57,740
Fifty cents an hour.
308
00:19:58,060 --> 00:19:59,060
Thirty -five.
309
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:01,700
Deal.
310
00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:06,700
And don't worry, I'll lay it on pick.
311
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,820
Mrs. Skinner, duper healthy brown
muffin.
312
00:20:44,940 --> 00:20:46,160
My dad has this thing.
313
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:48,160
There's no such thing as a free lunch.
314
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:52,420
I never really got what that meant. I
mean, when you're a kid, every lunch you
315
00:20:52,420 --> 00:20:53,199
have is free.
316
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:56,700
I have to admit, sometimes I wish I was
a bagel.
317
00:20:57,020 --> 00:20:58,020
Bagel? Why?
318
00:20:58,620 --> 00:21:00,660
Where's the frosting? Where's the
sprinkles?
319
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:04,040
They're more sophisticated, especially
nowadays.
320
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:05,960
Used to be coffee and a donut.
321
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,740
Nowadays, everyone has coffee and a
bagel.
322
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:14,820
There is no such thing as a free lunch.
323
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:16,780
There are strings attached to
everything.
324
00:21:17,780 --> 00:21:20,740
Maybe even things as simple as eating a
glazed donut.
325
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:23,640
Alex,
326
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:26,640
Gloria is looking for you.
327
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:27,920
She is?
328
00:21:33,780 --> 00:21:37,840
I'm very happy to say that Kim is going
to be fine.
329
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:40,720
Fine! That was the word, fine!
330
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,700
Now, Ms. Atron, you'll call me if her
side effects continue?
331
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:48,520
Of course I will, Dr. Good. Thank you so
much, and goodbye.
332
00:21:49,260 --> 00:21:50,260
Fare thee well.
333
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:53,800
Goodbye. I'm a real doctor with a real
college degree.
334
00:21:54,060 --> 00:21:58,820
Bye. And I was put on this earth to
heal, cure, and make people feel good.
335
00:21:58,980 --> 00:21:59,980
Goodbye.
336
00:22:03,300 --> 00:22:08,900
Here you go.
337
00:22:09,340 --> 00:22:13,280
All of our paper products are
biodegradable and 100 % environment
338
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:15,940
And you can even eat the plate if you
want.
339
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:18,860
Marlon, I want a donut. This is where
I'm coming.
340
00:22:19,700 --> 00:22:20,700
Yeah, me too.
341
00:22:33,780 --> 00:22:34,780
Cinnamon Twister?
342
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:36,280
New plates?
343
00:22:36,990 --> 00:22:39,150
What about the money? I thought I cut
into your profit.
344
00:22:39,810 --> 00:22:45,010
Well, when you left, I realized as
Gloria the businesswoman, I can't afford
345
00:22:45,010 --> 00:22:46,250
lose one of my best customers.
346
00:22:47,350 --> 00:22:52,490
And as just Gloria, I can't afford to
lose one of my best friends.
347
00:22:54,670 --> 00:22:56,510
I also raised my prices a little.
348
00:22:57,390 --> 00:22:58,390
Thanks, Gloria.
349
00:22:58,690 --> 00:23:00,070
No, thank you.
350
00:23:02,310 --> 00:23:04,670
Well, set us up a booth. We're going to
be here for a while.
351
00:23:08,430 --> 00:23:09,430
Life is weird.
352
00:23:09,630 --> 00:23:10,630
I'm getting older.
353
00:23:11,250 --> 00:23:15,330
Fifteen. Things I believed yesterday, I
think differently about today.
26891
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