Original subtitles

Stephanie, what are you doing?

I'm dusting magazines, Joanna.

Well, maybe when you're done here, you want to dust the want ads.

Hi -ho, Stratfordites.

What's up, there's cuppers.

Dick won't let me read.

He's squelching my thirst for knowledge.

For shame, Dick. There's so much to be learned from Victoria Principal.

You here for breakfast again?

No time. I've got to shuffle off to the shoe shop. We're setting up for our big

buy -a -thong -for -a -song sale.

Oh, Michael, I packed you a special lunch. But don't think they'll all be

fancy.

Yummers, Steph.

A cheese sandwich and a box of raisins.

I unwrapped the cheese and everything.

Well, that'll certainly cut down on your flossing time.

You know what I...

When I first got bumped from the station and found myself floundering at the

circus of shoes, I thought for sure I'd get the cupcake kiss off.

That's where the smart money was.

Instead, I got a kind word and a shoulder pad to cry on.

She's been just the support system this occupational outcast needs.

Get going, Michael, or you'll blow this job, too.

Radio.

Hello?

May I help you?

No, thank you.

Uh, feel free to... to wander around aimlessly.

This place could use a good cleaning.

What do you want from her? Poor thing had to pack a lunch.

Before you go, would you mind telling us who you were?

Madeline Stone. I used to live here in the 60s. I worked for Mr. McMahon.

Who's this McMahon man, ma 'am?

He owned this Stratford back then. He had to sell it after the archery mishap.

Oh, how he loved his high -powered crossbow.

Oh, how he loved his tequila shooters.

What exactly did you do here? Besides criticize.

I was the maid. Oh, the hours and hours I spent dusting. Apparently, I'm

irreplaceable.

Michael, see? something.

Ah, okay.

Nice pumps.

Thanks for the cheddar, Chiquita. Ciao.

I'm Joanna Loudon. This is my husband, Dick, and this is our maid, Stephanie

Vanderkellen. What? Where's your uniform?

Pardon me, Hazel.

We've come a long way, baby.

Since, uh, Since you were here at the factory 25 years ago, you must remember

our handyman, Georgia.

Oh, then he's still here.

I'll never forget those big, bushy sideburns.

And the way his overalls used to cling to that lean physique.

That's Georgia, all right.

Madeline?

Hello, Brick.

Brick? Is it really you?

I've come back, Brick, with my answer.

And it's yes.

Wow! Did you hear that? She said yes! Oh, happy day!

What was the question?

On this very spot, 25 years ago, this strapping young buck dropped to

one knee and proposed.

It took you a quarter of a century to come up with this?

Well, I didn't want to rush into anything.

After all, what did a young girl of 32 know about marriage?

George, how come you never told us about this before?

I didn't want to jinx it.

I am late.

I overslept.

That's okay, Stephanie.

It was Michael's fault.

Last night he rented a tack of the puppet people, and afterwards he was too

terrified to sleep.

I'm the same way with Benji the hunted.

He was so jittery, I had to go over there to calm him down. He swore he

Sherry Lewis and Lamb Chop in his closet.

Here you go. Just like I used to make every day for Mr.

McMahon.

Madeline, you don't have to cook for us. You're a guest.

Oh, force of habit.

Did this every day, huh?

Well, thanks for taking over on such short notice, but I'm sure the kitchen's

mess, so I'll go clean up while you rest your old retired bones.

That's not necessary. I clean as I go.

Well, good.

That leaves me more time to polish the silver, which next to scraping the oven

is my favorite thing to do.

Mine, too.

Let's go put some elbow grease into that silver.

Whee!

Joanna, where's the silver polish?

Ask Madeline. She was probably the last one to use it.

Morning, Dick. Joanna. Hi, George. Wow!

Madeline made her pancakes.

This sure brings me back.

I can almost see Mr. McMahon himself looking up at me from under this very

table.

I can sprawl out on the floor if you want, George.

No, it wouldn't be the same. Besides, you only put syrup on your pancakes.

What did Mr. McMahon put on his?

Anything that caught fire.

Ah, those were the days.

Madeline was the most beautiful girl in the county.

and I was her lean, mean, fixin' machine.

I'm surprised you ever got any work done.

Well, Mr. McMahon had a rule about his employees fraternizing, so at night we'd

sneak out, hop in the old pickup, and drive over to that lake by Johnny Cake

Ridge. Oh, I heard that was quite the hot spot for young lovers.

Oh, yeah. Didn't we know it?

We'd sit in the truck and watch him neck for hours.

Then we'd go home.

Sounds like you were crazy about each other.

George, Madeline doesn't really expect you to marry her, does she? Of course

does. She's been saving herself for me.

I just hope I have the stamina to survive the unleashing of 25 years of

fantasies.

George, do me a favor. When you do your unleashing, will

you make sure the radio's on?

George, you know, you asked for her hand a long time ago. You don't have to go

through with this. Well, how would it look if I backed out now?

You know, George, I think there's a statute of limitations on marriage

proposals. Well, maybe you're right, Dick.

You know, you're a lot easier to talk to than Mr. McMahon.

And you don't keep breaking into choruses to show me the way to go home.

Oh, Brick.

You haven't forgotten how to show a girl a good time.

Well, it's nice when there's no line at the batting cage.

You're such a sentimental old fool taking me up to Johnny Cake Ridge.

When did it become the Johnny Cake Cinema 20?

About a year after the Johnny Cake Mall went in.

You know, this is not the first time I've been to your room.

It's not?

I put you to bed the night Mr.

McMahon made you eat all those rum balls.

I had to. The safety was off on his crossbow.

For 25 years, I've wondered what might have happened if I'd stayed.

Not much, probably. I was pretty stewed.

You're not stewed tonight, Brick.

I don't know.

I have a confession to make.

What is it? When you left the Stratford, I waited for you. But after about eight

years, I started to have my doubts.

What are you trying to say?

You wouldn't be the first to help buckle my overalls in the morning.

You have a girlfriend?

Oh, no.

No, it's just that I haven't been completely faithful.

Oh, is that all?

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I've dated a few men. I even

married. What?

His name was Ed, but it was a fleeting relationship. It only lasted 14 years.

So I gather you buckled his overalls a few times.

He didn't wear overalls. Oh, thank God.

But Ed was nothing like you, George.

You're gentle and loving.

More like Roy.

Roy? My second husband.

How many husbands were there? Just the two.

But I needed those marriages to grow, and now that I have, I know that you've

always been the only man for me.

What happened to that innocent maid I used to know?

She wasn't ready.

But believe me, through both marriages and a couple of meaningless six to eight

month stands, all I thought about was you.

You could have phoned.

George, can't we let go of the past? I mean, does it really matter that I have

seven grandchildren?

You're a grandmother?

And I think you'll make a wonderful grandfather.

Gee, I don't know, Maddie. This is a lot to take in.

Well, if you want to call it off, I'll understand.

No, no. I just need a little time to sort things out.

Starting tomorrow.

Magna Cum Laudens. Hi, Michael.

Red Rover, Red Rover, let Steffi come over.

Hi, Michael.

You'll have to unwrap the cheese yourself.

The old maid's trying to cook and clean her way into my job.

No comprendo, Steffo.

Why would she want to stage a major kitchen coup?

I don't know, but I'm scared. She's been kissing up to Dick and Joanna like

crazy. Well, she can pucker till she's tuckered, but you'll never be kicked out

of the cockles of their corazonis.

I heard you out here.

Last night, I packed you a nice homemade lunch.

Cold pasta salad in a zippy pesto sauce, chilled tomatoes and snap peas in a

dill vinaigrette and a flaky crescent roll.

Oh, and a box of raisins.

Oh, that's original.

Wowzers. You did this all for me?

Uh, thanks.

I'm, uh...

I'm more of a processed cheese man myself.

It'll be in the fridge if you change your mind.

Well, I've got work to do.

Not as much as I've got.

Well,

as we blandly say in the shoe business, have a nice day.

You seem pretty chipper, George.

We don't need any locker room cracks, Dick.

Just because I'm chipper doesn't mean anything unusual went on in my room last

night.

No, I just meant that you seem... Stop grilling me.

I'm over 21, you know.

George, you're over 51.

You wouldn't know it from last night.

Fresh off the griddle. I made some, too.

Well, they both look delicious, but since... Since Madeline's are closer...

Can I get anyone anything

before I run upstairs and vacuum?

Juice? More coffee?

Another cigarette?

Madeline, why don't you sit down and join us? Stephanie can do the upstairs.

Joanna, I love this. It brings back so many fond memories.

Dibs on the vacuum.

Excuse me, I have to see this.

What about breakfast?

I can always eat.

Well, I'd better keep these warm.

I'm pretty good at keeping things warm.

Now that the girls are gone, I've got this problem.

Think about baseball, George.

Okay.

Anyway, last night, I told Madeline I needed time to think, and then a funny

thing happened.

Was that during a taste of honey or a Wichita lineman?

I don't remember.

Dick, she told me she had two husbands.

She said they were both mistakes, and all the while, she was only thinking of

me. What should I do, Dick? Should I still marry her?

Well, George, you obviously get along, and you both like to...

to listen to the same music.

You know, you aren't getting any younger, George. Maybe it's time you

thinking about settling down.

Fonzie never settled down.

George Fonzie was only in his late 40s.

They're flowers.

Thank you.

Isn't that the suit you used to wear to watch Bishop Fulton Sheen?

Yep. It's also the suit I wore when I popped the question 25 years ago.

Oh, Grant.

Madeline, back then we were just a couple of crazy mixed -up kids.

Now, maybe we can do this right.

I can feel my heart pounding.

I may only be a simple handyman, but I know with you by my side, I'll be a

simple handyman with a wife.

Will you marry me?

Oh, Rick.

That was beautiful.

I think I'm going to cry.

Help me up.

You're taking my breath away.

I don't know what to say except...

I'll need some time to think about it.

What?

Seeing you again has brought back so many emotions. The lust, the passion,

doubts, the fears. I don't know if I can answer this with a simple yes or no.

Well, why the hell not?

This decision is too important to rush into.

Well, this is getting silly.

Please understand, I don't want you to end up being another Ed or Roy or

Phil. Who's Phil?

Well, annulments aren't even worth talking about. George, what we have is

special. That's why when I marry you, it's going to be for keeps.

Well, how much time do you think you'll need?

Well, not as much as before.

A week, ten years tops.

Will you be marrying anyone else while you're thinking?

Who can predict these things?

Then this is goodbye again?

George, spending this precious time with you has been just about the most

wonderful thing to happen to me in a long, long...

time. And last night, well, whenever I

hear blame it on the boss and over, no matter who I'm with,

I'll think of you.

So you took Madeline to the station?

Yeah.

We missed her train by a few minutes, but there was another one along pretty

quick.

George, I'm sorry about the wait. You know, things turned out.

Well, it was my own fault for driving too slow.

No, George, George, not the train. You know, that Madeline turned you down.

She didn't exactly turn me down, Dick. She just needs a week to ten years to

mull things over.

There's a big difference.

I suppose.

Till then, I've got the best of both worlds.

I'll always know there's someone out there thinking of me, and at the same

I don't have to curb my wild bachelor lifestyle.

Some men aren't meant to be tamed, George.

Ah, the Stratford innkeep with his Stratford upkeep.

Here's your lunch, Michael.

Red Cornish game hen, radicchio salad with sun -dried tomatoes, a selection of

imported cheeses, and a box of raisins.

Thanks, Steph. I really don't know... No time to talk. I'm waxing behind the

refrigerator.

Well, I better go tell Stephanie that Madeline is gone.

Meow.