All language subtitles for newhart_s06e02_prima_darryl

Something wrong, Stephanie?

In the kitchen.

Nothing fuzzy.

Moving.

Like a grizzly?

Only worse.

Smaller and spider -shaped.

So what you're saying is there's a bug
in the kitchen.

Kill it, Michael.

And make it suffer.

Actually, Steph, spiders have an awfully
short lifespan. If you leave it alone,

it'll die in a few months.

Okay, I'll get it.

But if it casts a shadow, it's yours.

I think it's suffering.

Hi, I'm Larry, party of one.

Where's your brother Daryl and your
other brother Daryl? I've got them

an Archie comic.

It's the one where Archie has to choose
between Betty and Veronica, so it's

impossible to put down.

That ought to leave us enough time to
talk privately.

Uh, why?

Miss Stephanie, do you mind? I'm about
to say something that may shock and

revolt.

Well, two things my parents sent me to
boarding school to avoid.

Main squeeze on your heel, Steph.

Larry, since this is a family secret,
why don't you just share it with your

brothers and leave it, you know, at
that.

Well, they don't take surprises very
well.

They're still reeling from England going
metric.

Okay, let me have it.

Well, I've discovered a skeleton in our
closet.

And it's not as pleasant as it sounds.

Brace yourself.

Is this okay?

The other night, while I was up in...
Oop, here they come. Act casual.

Pretend we're comparing belly buttons.

Hi,

Daryl. Why are you back so early?

Have you finished that comic book
already?

Wait a minute.

I know. You couldn't stand the suspense,
so you skipped to the back, didn't you?

Well, I killed that fighter.

So, that's what first attracted you to
her.

Come on, Daryl.

So which way did Archie go? Blonde or
brunette?

What was that about?

Belly buttons, skeletons, you know, the
usual.

I think I'll have a coffee with Poo Lump
because...

That's the way...

You want to talk about this?

That's one of the selections on my new
sing -along machine.

The portable lounge lizard?

Yeah. It has over 100 hit songs you can
choose from. Everything from Edelweiss

to Another One Bites the Dust.

Talk about your gamuts.

And it has professional arrangements,
backup singer, and even an echo effect.

George, I never knew you were so crazy
about singing and echoing.

I love it. For years, I've been afraid
to sing aloud.

When I was 11, I tried out for the
junior high school glee club.

After they heard me sing, they made me a
listener.

Now, at last, the technology has come
along to make me sound like a pro.

Whether I'm right...

Or whether I'm wrong.

Whether I find a place in this world or
never belong.

I gotta be me going home.

I gotta be me.

I bet that would sound real good with
the acoustics, you know, up in your

You think so, Dick?

Yes, George, and the echo effect will
sound best with the door closed because

you'll have those four solid walls
working for you.

Yeah, I'm going to try it right now
because... That's

the way, uh -huh, uh -huh.

Don't good things ever happen to us.

Hi.

I'm Larry. Larry!

What are you doing here?

My, aren't we grouchy in the morning?

Larry, we wake up completely different
when you're not in our bed.

Window, ladder, Batman -like climbing.

How long have you been here?

Since 4 a .m.

Strange. I always had you pegged as
stomach sleepers.

Larry, two things. Tell us why you're
here and get off the bed.

It has to do with that family secret
that's been gnawing at my innards.

About a week ago, I was up in the attic
cutting back the weeds.

I came across this old knick -knack
drawer, and inside, right behind some

there was an old box.

I opened it up and discovered these
three documents.

What are they?

Three birth certificates.

Mine, Daryl's, and Daryl's.

You know what this proves?

Brace yourself.

Like this, honey.

It proves we weren't born in the same
sequence I thought.

All these years, I assumed that I was
the oldest brother.

I'm not.

Daryl is.

This could throw our whole family out of
kilter.

Larry, I'm afraid that ship has sailed.

Larry, forget what the documents say.

Are you sure you weren't first?

I mean, when you were born, do you
remember... having to share a pacifier?

The last thing to remember was...

The midwife delivered a heifer and a
Daryl at the same time.

And there was quite a bit of nursing
confusion.

I don't know how I'm going to keep this
secret from Daryl. Well, why don't you

just tell your brothers the truth?

This could really affect the way we deal
with each other.

Why? You three could be the same as you
were.

If that's what you're shooting for.

Well, it sure would take a load off my
gut.

Okay, I'll go spill the beans to Daryl.

I'll let you know how it works out.

Larry, from now on, our bedroom is by
invitation only.

Okay, I'll be waiting for it.

And I'm his other brother, Larry.

I took your advice and showed Daryl the
certificates.

You see the results. I've been cooed.

But, Larry, you've always been the one
in charge. I'm not sure Daryl respects

that. You think so?

Well, maybe I have been a bit premature.

Oops.

Sorry.

We didn't mean to shake up the family.

Might as well have attached it to Elvis'
hips.

What's wrong, Stephanie?

Well, we were walking out of the
drugstore when a wind kicked up and poor

got must.

And there were people.

I tried to get your sunglasses on as
fast as I could. But not fast enough.

going to have to drill on that.

Miss Stephanie, normally I'd sympathize
with your near must, but I've got

upheavals of my own.

What's that, Larry?

Meet Daryl, tall, dark, and in charge.

Daryl found out he's the oldest.

along with all the other
responsibilities, he'll be inheriting my

My cold sunglasses.

Daryl, just because power's turned your
head don't mean it's going to turn

anybody else's. Let's go.

Next time I'm in the womb, I'm not going
to let anybody

cut in front of me.

So, ma 'am.

Well, look who's here.

It's George and his machine.

Out of his room and within earshot.

So, George, you brought down your
portable lounge lizard.

Yeah. I was rushing my work to get back
to my singing. Then I realized I was

kind of... Neglecting my job at the
expense of fun. Then it came to me. Who

the hardest working people in the world,
Dick?

Snow White's dwarves, right?

Except for the Japanese, yeah.

And why were they hard working? Because
while they worked, they sang hi -ho, hi

-ho.

No, no, George. They sang hi -ho, hi -ho
on the way to work.

But once they were at work, it was
strictly whistling.

Yeah, but if they'd had one of these,
you can bet they'd have been singing

little lungs out.

I'm a soul.

Dick,

you've got to stop the man. He's taking
the beautiful art of lounge singing and

making a farce out of it.

You can't just go up to someone and say
you think.

I'm a soul man.

Hear me.

I'll think of something.

George, could I talk to you about your
singing?

Sure, Dick.

George, it's not that we don't enjoy it.
It's just that we don't think the

quaint, rustic charm of New England is
symbolized by a handyman singing Motown.

Gee, I guess you're right, Dick.

I guess this does seem kind of
inappropriate.

Good. No problem, Dick. Your worries are
over.

Penny's in a stream Falling leaves of

sycamore

Enjoyed our southern fried chicken.

And I'm sorry about the feathers.

Left just a nickel. Fund money.

I knew it. There he goes. Being
responsible again.

He's taking our fund money and wasting
it on one of them high interest

retirement funds.

We were just taking a well -deserved
zany break.

Hi, guys.

How many are you?

Just the one.

Smoking, non -smoking, or undecided?

Non -smoking.

Fan on your face or not?

Look, Larry, I didn't come over here to
dine. You called me and asked...

You better order something. The new
Daryl don't allow any laundering.

Oh, I forgot.

Daryl here will take your order.

Do you have anything that's prepackaged?

I'll have the Salisbury steak. We serve
that two ways, loose or in the pouch. In

the pouch.

That's a plastic pouch, right?

How are things going?

The mantle of authority ain't a snug fit
on Daryl.

There's a whole new set of rules we have
to live by.

He won't let us dry our underwear on the
grill anymore.

face prints in the pudding and no more
sleeve sniveling.

The last rule seems to particularly
single Daryl out.

Well, you know, with every new
administration, you know, there are

few changes.

Well, he's completely destroyed our
social life. We'd come to visit you more

often, but we're not allowed to come
over to the inn as much as we used to.

Really?

Sometimes changes can be good.

He won't let us cut loose like in the
old days.

He's completely canceled our naked hour.

I know.

Joanna's kind of cut back on me, too.

Have you tried to reason with him?

There's no use.

He's become a prima Daryl, throwing his
age around.

Nine months older, and he thinks he
knows it all.

That's why we want you to talk to him.

Why would he listen to me?

Well, he is closer to your age now.

And I was gullible enough to listen to
you.

Daryl, could I talk to you for a minute?

First of all, congrats on getting older.

And with age comes responsibility.

I know you feel that Larry and Daryl
should...

should work more diligently, and they
shouldn't dry their underwear on the

or visit the inn so much.

Why am I arguing against this?

But your brothers are a little upset, so
I thought maybe you might lighten up.

Not about the inn.

You know, maybe let them have some fun.

Maybe, you know, give them a naked ten
minutes.

I tried, guys.

The man's a rock.

That's the way, that's the way, uh -huh,
I like it.

That's the way, uh -huh, uh -huh, I like
it.

Pretty addictive, huh, Dick?

Uh -huh, uh -huh.

Dick, can I tell you something as a
friend?

Sure, sure, George.

You really stink.

I was only fooling around. I mean it.

Your voice, your timing, the way you
held the mic.

I got queasy, Dick.

George. I know this is hard to take, but
as your friend, I think the best thing

to do is to come right out and tell the
truth.

I mean, why should innocent people have
to suffer?

George. But, Dick.

You really taught me something.

This machine is an accident waiting to
happen. From now on, this baby is going

to stay locked up in my room.

Yeah, George?

I was trying to demonstrate that exact
point.

Yeah, right, Dick.

Laughter.

prints in the pudding.

You were having childlike fun, weren't
you?

Don't be pulling that past -your
-bedtime stuff on us.

For all we know, you could have been
sleeve -sniveling, too.

Well, you don't really want to be in
charge, do you?

As the oldest brother, you're torn
between your responsibility as the head

the family and your innate desire to
frolic your head off.

Not everyone's cut out to be family
sham.

Some of us are just meant to be
pharaohs.

Fess up, Daryl. You miss the shenanigans
as much as we do.

Then why can't we just go back to the
way things were?

Damn. I wish I'd never found these
birthing papers.

What is it, Daryl?

Something on the certificates?

That's peanut butter grease, and no, you
can't have it.

Wait a minute.

Now I see what's put them birds in your
skivvies.

This is your birth certificates, and
this is Daryl's.

Daryl's not the oldest.

Daryl is.

How could I have gotten them mixed up?

What is it, Daryl?

You've had enough, haven't you?

The burden of leadership weighs heavy.

relinquishing your birthright to take
charge and asking me to take over again?

Sometimes you just have to say okie
-dokie to destiny.

Is that okay with you, Daryl?

you can lick his face, Daryl.

We're your typical American family
again.