Original subtitles

I did.

Steph, your reason for living is here.

So you're what keeps her going.

Michael, just let me get a jacket and then we can go.

I'll be waiting with minted breath.

Oh, George, did you get everything?

I tried everywhere, but there seemed to be a run on blue cheese.

Rats.

Blue cheese, blue, Steph?

Dick and Joanna first met on a picnic on Memorial Day weekend. So every year on

the anniversary, they have a romantic little picnic the exact same way.

Till now.

Perfectly good tradition shot to hell.

What tradition?

Dick and Joanna have a food fixation.

It's not a fixation, it's a tradition.

And I say potato.

Dick, you could learn from Steph and me. We steer clear of that nonsense.

I mean, it's fine to do a tradition once, but, you know, after that, they

kind of repetitive and constrictive.

Dick, honey, look. It's the basket. We're all set.

Looks like this cheese thing's about to come to a head.

Honey, George checked everywhere, but he couldn't find any blue cheese for our

picnic. No cheese?

If I had known it was going to turn out this way 17 years ago, I would have

packed Velveeta.

Stratford Inn.

Oh, hi, Mrs. Vanderkellen.

Stephanie, it's your mom.

Oh, Mommy must be calling to tell me what my Memorial Day present is.

You get a present for Memorial Day?

It's a three -day weekend, isn't it?

Hi, Mommy.

So, Michael, what are you and Stephanie doing this weekend?

Oh, actually, George, I've got kind of a surprise planned for Steph. I convinced

Bev to close down the station for the entire weekend. We're just going to

broadcast 72 hours of programming with the Memorial Day theme.

A three -day Gilligan's Island marathon in memory of those left behind.

So now Steph and I are free to Z to NYC to CNBC.

I got most of those letters, Michael.

You're driving to New York? That's right, George. Wow, I'd be jealous if I

didn't have something special planned myself.

I've got a big beaver blowout.

It's our annual spaghetti and tomato sauce sit -down.

Wow. Yeah, I could try to wangle a couple of extra tickets for you. Let me

Beaver Bash, Broadway.

Beaver Bash, Broadway. Now, George, you did say annual, so I'll get a crack at

this next year?

Well, then it looks like I'm Broadway -bound.

Looks like you don't have a choice.

Bye, Mommy.

So, Steph, what are you getting? How does it stack up against your

Day booty?

Well... I don't know yet, Michael, but I'll find out as soon as I get to

Newport. We're going to Newport? Oh, I just love that castle by the bay.

Oh, Michael, I have some bad news. You're not going, just me.

I don't follow. I don't follow.

My best friend from Deb class is having a baby.

I think her name was Sherry.

Anyway, Mommy's made all the preparations for me to host a baby

in the Vanderkellen West Wing. You see, it's girls only.

And besides, this way I'll be able to brag about you without you actually

there trying to live up to my description.

Steph, if you go without me, it'll be our first weekend apart ever.

And a three -dayer.

I know, Michael.

So I'm going to have to have an extra lot of fun so I won't have to think

that.

Steph, I even made plans for us to go to Nueva York.

Oh, Michael.

I can't go. Whenever the Debs get together and someone doesn't show up,

assume she's fat.

Honey, I have a surprise.

It's a blue cheese.

Dick, you found some.

Blue cheese food.

Well, you may have to settle for... Artificial cheese, but you'll get the

Dick Loudon.

Hi, I'm Larry.

This is my brother Daryl, and this is my other brother Daryl.

And we're about to embark on our annual trek for some sunbathing on the Riviera.

You guys are going to France?

No, we're just going to lie on top of an old abandoned Buick.

And you're welcome to join us. Well, thanks, guys, but now that our cheese

through, we're going to go ahead with our own plans.

Okay, but if it makes it any more attractive to you, it is bathing suits

optional.

It doesn't.

Oh, and by the way, guys, we're not interested in seeing any slides of your

vacation.

How about you?

Oh, I'm sorry, guys. I have a beaver function later on.

We understand.

It takes a lot of time to get ready for one of them uppity highbrow affairs.

Come on, Daryl.

First one there gets whatever's left in the ashtray.

Okay, I'll get the wine and the cheese food, Blyther.

I'm worried about you.

I don't want you to spend the entire weekend sitting home alone in your

apartment. Don't worry, Steph. This afternoon, I figure I'll just go out and

catch a matinee.

What if it's something that we wanted to see together?

Oh, yeah. Well, then I'll just... I'll go out window shopping.

Without me? What if you're seeing? People will think we broke up.

You're right.

Well, then I figure maybe I'll just spend the weekend sitting home alone in

apartment. That sounds good.

Bye, Michael.

Be gone three whole days.

Will you remember me?

Steph in my wallet, in my heart.

As long as I can picture you, I've got the strength of a thousand caballeros.

You did everything you could.

I just heard, time to go.

You want me to slap him, Dick?

Oh, I'm sorry. I'll be okay.

Just a touch of cupcake withdrawals.

What's going on?

Cupcake withdrawals.

I can cope with being alone.

I can have fun.

Well, let's get started on our picnic.

What?

Let's not.

Michael, this is a private anniversary picnic. Remember, just Joanna and me.

Dick, Dick, not this silly tradition hang -up again.

I'll tell you what. I'll come along. If I get in the way, just tell me and I'll

leave.

Why do you find my myself?

Skipper, I think that if we could only place this coconut satellite into a low

orbit, we could make radio contact with a Coast Guard station on the mainland

and finally get off this island.

I'm just looking for my car keys.

You lost them?

Well, not officially.

Dick, we always get there late. We get a table in the back, and then you say you

don't want to dance because the walk to the dance floor is too far.

I thought that was part of the tradition.

the brother, Daryl.

And we're one collective ouch.

Guys, you're all sunburned. No.

Sorry about the sarcasm, but we are in pain.

And it's our own fault.

We woke up on the hood of the car and heard the sound of eggs frying.

Then Daryl pointed out it was us.

Anyway, we could use some salve or ointment.

Or something in the jelly or jam family.

Well, guys, we don't have anything for sunburn, but I'm sure Peterson's drugs

and stuff will.

Thanks. Come on, Daryl.

At least there's one upside to this.

Tomorrow, the one with the longest continuous peel wins.

Have you seen my car keys?

Lots of times. Why?

The last time I saw them, they were in the study.

Michael, I didn't know you were here.

I was just up in Stephanie's room.

It's so cute. It's so cozy.

closer to her.

Michael, I just want you to know my sock drawer is off limits.

So, you need a hand, George?

No, thanks. I already got four of them.

Good one.

Oh, this could be the problem here. No cord.

Michael, that clock is over a hundred years old. It's an antique.

Sounds like it's ready for the old replace -erino.

What do you say we head into town and get you a nice new flashy digital one

talks to you?

Uh, Michael, don't you miss your pillow?

I'm okay for now.

I, uh, I think I'll do this later.

and I can help with.

What do I do?

Michael, did you know that Dick and Joanna are in the study? Oh, really,

Thanks.

Hi, guys. Miss me?

Thanks a lot, George.

Well, this is great. So where are we going tonight?

Joanna and I are going dancing alone and you're doing whatever.

I got it. I'll chaperone.

Come on, Joanna. You can't say you wouldn't feel more comfortable with

else around in case Dick decides to get fresh?

Boy, they have indoors.

So what's on, George?

Well, I'd love to keep you company, Michael, but I'm going to the spaghetti

dinner. Sounds good. This pie's on prime for pasta.

Aren't you forgetting?

It's at the Beaver Lodge.

Well, how badly can they ruin spaghetti?

Oh, you really are lonely.

Well,

Michael, this is it. The Beaver Lodge.

Is it everything you expected?

Actually, George, yes.

Well, let me show you around.

This is the bar, and this is the lodge, and you've seen the parking lot.

Yeah, those new lines really jump out at you.

Boy, I love spaghetti night.

This is a better turnout than last year.

Well, it's amazing that a group of three men would get this excited over food

cooked in a van.

Hey, George, who's the new guy?

You know me, Harley, Michael Harris.

You? Here?

In the beaver lodge?

What are you, a baby woodchuck?

No capisce.

That's what we call all the new pledges.

Oh, I'm not pledging. Does that mean we don't get to paddle them?

George, not this time.

So, you all set for the big contest?

There's a contest?

Sure is, for the person who ends up with the biggest spaghetti stain.

Yeah, the winner is chosen by an impartial panel of experts.

Good luck tonight, Harley. Thanks.

The adrenaline's pumping so hard my hand is shaking.

Good start.

Hi, George.

Hi, Buck.

Who's the baby woodchuck?

No, Michael is just a friend.

Oh, you mean we don't get to... Hey,

George. Oh, hi. Oh, this is Mel Donner.

He's on the parking lot committee.

Notice those new lines? How could you miss them? Yeah.

Hey, what's with the tie?

Oh, it's just your basic cotton twill.

Nobody wears a tie at the Beaver Lodge. It's in the bylaws.

Yeah, what if it accidentally dips in the thaw?

Hey, fellas, a tie's like Magellan. It's history.

So, uh, what do you do, Mike?

Oh, Michael is a TV producer.

Well, I just want to know who's responsible for the Gilligan's Island

Oh, Michael is.

You put on Gilligan's Island?

Well, I'm really not in charge of the station. I love that show.

But I did say either put on Gilligan's Island or this guy's walking.

All right.

That little Gilligan guy, he kills me.

What's he really like? Is he that wacky in person?

Hey, what do you think?

I told you. I told you. I told you.

Hot stuff.

Hey, Earl.

Guess what Mike here does.

TV shows.

Sports? No.

Killikens Island.

Really? Yeah.

Dibs on sitting next to the new guy.

Oh.

He's going to sit next to me, little buddy.

Hey.

Oh, wow.

Look at this place.

I can't believe how neat it is.

Hard to believe he could win a fame contest.

Michael, don't forget.

Don't forget we're going to need that shirt for the display case.

Get a load of her.

Who's the cheesecake?

Yeah. Hey, guys, that's no cheesecake. That's my cupcake.

I'll give you a dollar for that one right there. I wish I could, Earl, but

would destroy the integrity of the entire montage.

Oh, yeah.

So, guys, let's say we work off dinner by running a marathon.

All right, now listen.

I think this is the one where they finally get off the island. Oh, yeah,

Hello.

Is Michael home? Yeah.

Is he still alive?

Look, it's Cupcake.

Oh. There.

Oh,

don't worry. It's just tomato sauce.

Steph, I can explain.

No, I can't.

Guys, everybody out. Let's go. The party's over.

Hustle, hustle, hustle. Let's go. Nice meeting you. Come on.

I want to see how this thing ends. Trust me, they don't get off the island.

You ever saw a guy win a spaghetti stand contest where it didn't go to his hair?

Come on, guys. It's all right.

Everybody out. Come on. Party's over.

back until Monday.

I got bored. I missed you. I came back.

Michael, is this the way you really are when I'm not around?

Have all these years been an act?

No. I mean, it's one thing to spend time with George, but what were all those

horrible men doing here?

Well, you did say don't do anything we normally do.

Those weren't beavers.

Seth, you don't know what I...

I guess so.

Well, Mr.

V gave me the long -distance hippo, and then Dick and Joanna wouldn't dance with

me, so when George begged me to go to the beaver lodge, I said yes.

Tell me you didn't join.

No, but they did make me honorary baby woodchuck.

Oh. Don't worry, Steph, I didn't let them paddle me.

Oh.

Steph, I don't understand it either.

I mean, I talked about hunting and fishing. I laughed at a joke about a

and his goat. I don't understand.

And, Steph, you know what the worst part of it was?

I had fun.

I guess it just really felt good to be one of the guys.

Michael, you weren't one of the guys. You were one of those guys.

Well, Steph, I... I know the beavers eat spaghetti with their hands, and they

applaud when you belch.

But I guess underneath the tomato sauce, we're all pretty much the same.

I'm sorry. I... I guess I just... I miss you so gosh darn much.

I never realized that my leaving would have such an effect on a person.

Although I was pretty sure.

Well, Michael, if having fun with the Beavers made you realize how

miserable you are without me, then I guess it's okay.

Oh, Steph, what would I ever do without you?

Michael, we found out.

Now that this awful half day apart is behind us, what do you say we go back to

the inn and get away from this yucky beer smell?

All right, Steph.

I just want to make one quick stop before we go.

After the way I treated the beavers, I owe them an apology.

Are you sure?

Steph, I don't think I want men who hunt to be mad at me.

Guys! So, can we come back in now? You mean you're not mad at me?

Are you kidding? Happens all the time.

Yeah, usually when a wife comes home, we get the boot. But we're always invited

back again.

Seth?

Just get it out of your system.

Hey, and George, thanks for being there for me when my muffin was missing.

Thanks for letting us use your place.

Hey, anytime.

Michael!

Oh, Steph, will you stay, too? Trust me, it's really not so bad once you give it

a chance.

Hey, Mike, think you can get your girlfriend to dance for us?

tomorrow, Michael.

Now.