Original subtitles

I broke a jar of cold cream in our room.

Nasty mess.

We'll be out for 15 minutes. Have it done by then.

Nasty mess.

Nasty mess.

Have it done by then.

How can people treat people like that?

Oh, guests treat me like that all the time. I just smile, shrug, and drop

luggage in a puddle.

George, when does Spencer's check out?

You got it.

George, where's Joanne?

I think she's upstairs.

Great.

I got a birthday present for her.

I hope it's not tomato plants, a spade, and a wide -brimmed hat. That's what I

got her.

No, no, it's beautiful crystal wind chimes.

Well, good. No overlap.

George, would you do me a favor? Would you call Joanna and have her go outside

with you, and then I'll hide the present in the attic?

Give it up, Dick. She always finds out what your gift is.

Well, I'm confident the last ten years have been a fluke.

Go ahead and call her.

Joanna!

Joanna!

Nothing. You didn't open it, did you? No.

Sounds like wind chimes.

Well, it's not.

And it's not for your birthday.

And I'm not returning it.

Hi, all.

Where's that dainty blonde I love to date?

I think she's upstairs.

But don't rule out the basement.

Stupid, stupid, stupid guests.

Hi, Peaches.

You look lost.

Well, that's what happens when you do blue -collar work in silk.

Mr. Epfordian?

Oh, yes, Mrs. Vanderkellen. She's right here. Hold on, please.

Stephanie? It's your mom.

She never calls before noon.

Hello, Mommy?

Is everything all right?

Oh, good.

I was afraid the stock market had gone kapooey or something.

really want me to come.

Okay. I'll see you then.

My ex -husband Carl is getting married and I'm going home for his wedding.

This is an expression I've never seen before, sweet niece.

It's adorable, but are you happy or sad?

I haven't decided.

Carl is the reason my parents cut me off.

They've never forgiven me for leaving and becoming a... pathetic wretch who

cleans up lumps of cold cream.

But that's why I left, to show them I could make my own decisions.

I thought you left him because he was an old coot. That too.

Oh, this is going to be dreadful.

Do you want to come?

Wow. Thank you, Rose.

Please tell Mommy and Daddy we've arrived.

Yes, Miss.

Welcome home.

It's been a long time.

Good to be back among mahogany and grass and rich earth tone.

Oh, my.

Wow.

Michael, that's all you've said since we set foot on the ground.

Grounds. Wow!

Will you give it a rest? I want them to think you're fit for Evanderkellen, and

they won't unless you stop salivating.

I'll watch it.

I just want them to feel towards me the way I feel towards all these things.

I'm not going to let them get to me.

Princess.

Daddy.

Mommy.

My, it's good to see you.

Mommy, Daddy, I'd like you to meet Michael Harris.

Michael, how are you?

Stephanie, shall I have Rose bring you and your friend something to drink?

stocked up on Perrier.

We have Perrier in Vermont.

Well, we weren't implying that you didn't. I just thought you might be

Well, we're not.

Well, then how about a snack?

Just because I've been gone two years doesn't mean I haven't eaten.

If you want, and I know you do this in Vermont, you could sit down.

thing he wants to talk to you about. Yes, now, Stephanie, about all this maid

business, I... Pick, pick, pick.

First the Perrier insinuation and then that jam about the snack and now you're

harassing me about my job.

What's your next target? My boyfriend.

To finish what your father was saying, we were wrong.

We were wrong to pressure you to marry Carl.

We were wrong to give you an ultimatum. We were wrong to cut you off.

This is a dream, right?

No, I agree with your mother. She was wrong, and I wasn't as right as I

am.

We just want you back home where you belong. From now on, no more

What do you say, dear?

Well, since you asked nicely, I'll think about it, yes.

Well, that's just... Here's $200.

He's never quite right until it's reached the century mark.

Wow!

I like this boy.

You do?

You do.

Yes, you sometimes forget to appreciate all the things you have until you see

them through the eyes of someone who is a gog.

That is all, Rose.

Well, welcome home, Stephanie.

And not a moment too soon.

Okay, you can open them.

Your room, right?

Right.

Talk about a lap of luxury.

Michael, it's not like I was a spoiled kid.

I got this for finishing finishing school.

And I got this for eating liver.

And I got this for not dating a Marine.

Hello, all my things.

Steffi's back for good.

Steff, this is all happening so fast.

What does it mean?

It means I'm the happiest person in the world.

No, what does it mean to me?

Michael, what's wrong? You're ruining my mood.

Steph, do your parents ever let people visit, say, permanently?

Oh, they do when I say, please, and look like this.

Would you?

Oh, Michael, all of these things without you would only be nearly as nice.

Steph, this is one of those moments people capture in country music.

Are you happy now?

Come in.

Would this be a good time for me to unpack your bags?

Oh, don't bother.

I packed them. I can unpack them.

You've changed, miss.

You were saying?

Oh, yes.

Hi.

Hi, Mrs. B.

Is everything all right?

Did you notice we restocked your makeup table?

And I've got you a new social calendar.

It's all filled up.

Every single minute.

Just for two weeks.

We'll fill in the rest later.

We'll see you for dinner at seven.

Oh, and change your perfume, dear. We're having veal.

George.

Where's Joanna?

In the kitchen.

I got her a real winner this time. They're having a quill sale at Benford's

I snagged a beauty.

Where are you going? Well, that quilt sale at Benford's ends tomorrow.

I'm going to break down and buy one.

Be back in half an hour. Well, I mean, don't you think, you know, we should

about it? I mean, even on sale, you know, those things are pretty expensive.

I have some money saved.

I thought you were saving that for the microwave.

I'd rather have this.

Yeah, but, you know, a quilt can't cook a hot dog in two minutes.

would look silly on the bed.

I bought the quilt, all right.

You did?

For my birthday?

No, not for your birthday. For Monday.

It's just an incredibly expensive Monday gift.

But, Stephanie, I thought you'd want to toast the bride and groom.

Mother,

I was comfortable enough seeing Carl marry that bimbette without being forced

publicly to give them my blessing.

I just wasn't prepared.

Of course you were prepared.

We wrote the words down for you on a piece of paper.

I didn't want to tell Vicki that my loss was her gain.

And today, you tell me what to wear.

Me! Stephanie, you were about to attend the wedding of an ex -husband in

sapphires. You indebted me.

I said it, didn't I?

Stephanie, please.

Yes, please.

I'll let you handle the pleading.

Tell Daddy to make the arrangements.

Where did your nanny go wrong?

Oh, Kate, what are you doing? We can't leave all this. We like it too much.

about this ugly row the two of you have had. Now, is there anything I can say to

make you change your mind and stay?

No.

Princess, I know I haven't said this enough to you, but I bought you a car.

I've been swimming, and I saw a 3 -D movie, and I never left this wing.

This is a really nice house.

You forgot the line.

Steph, can we walk around the grounds together today?

Not today, Michael.

The missus is coming at 3, and my seamstress at 4, and after that, a bunch

girls invited me over to talk about a bunch of girls who weren't invited over.

Busy, busy, busy.

Listen, princess, some investors from Athens are arriving next Tuesday, so

arranged for a tutor to teach you just a few phrases in Greek.

So far, I hate it.

What would make you like it?

Well, that stupid radio station of yours played something that offended me

again. Now, princess, they swore to me they destroyed every version they had of

do -do -ron -ron -ron.

Sweetheart, we have to broadcast the news. It's the law.

Well, can't you do it all in one clump when I'm asleep?

I don't think so.

Well, I'm not going to learn much Greek if I'm depressed by robberies and

killings and shootings.

I'll check if there are any regulations about clumping, and your first lesson

starts tomorrow.

Whoa. Kind of the home version of Let's Make a Deal.

The three -quarter lengths are all the rage this year. I want the jacket! I

the jacket! I want the jacket!

I'll get you both.

Steph, can we talk? If it's brief.

I couldn't help noticing.

This place has changed us.

It's made me happy.

Seems to be making you more assertive.

Self -confident.

Childlike.

Childish.

And basically, uh, mean.

But you wear it well.

Well, I got Joanna a gift.

She's upstairs, Dick.

Don't worry, George. This time I got her a present that she can't see, hear, or

touch.

I'm stumped.

I phoned this astronomical society, and I had a star named after her.

Up somewhere between Polaris and Sirius is going to be Joanna.

Wow, but you can see stars.

Not this baby.

Not without a seriously powerful telescope.

Boy, she'll like that. That's not important, George. What is important is

she will never guess it.

I will never guess what?

I've bought you a birthday present that you will never guess.

Never. Honey, I don't want to guess.

Okay, I'll give you clues.

You can't see it or touch it.

I haven't got the foggiest idea.

Oh, sure. I finally come up with a present that you can't possibly guess,

you won't even give me the simple pleasure of guessing wrong.

You got me a block of air.

Wrong, incorrect, way off beat.

named after me.

Whoa.

Uh -oh.

Oh, yeah?

Just try to guess which one.

Amalgamated Limited went under.

Something you did?

I think so.

salt, and cold water to keep it from setting.

What? I was saying this will come right out with a little salt and cold water. I

don't care how you do it. Just clean the nasty mess.

Yes, ma 'am.

If the dress is all right, I'll get you a new manicurist.

The war has been high, strong, and demanding.

You have those high Van der Kellen standards.

But I'm such a snot.

Oh, darling, nobody minds.

I do.

I don't think I should stay here anymore.

What? Sweetheart, we've been over this already.

Haven't you been enjoying your little Lamborghini?

Yes.

the Lamborghini until I decide who it is I want to be.

Well, that's easy.

You want to be a Stephanie.

Richer than all get out.

No, I don't.

I mean, well, I want to be rich beyond belief. That's a given.

I really can't stand how I get when I'm in this house. We'll go to the house in

Aruba.

I face it. What does my little girl want?

She wants to be independent.

She wants to go back to Vermont.

She wants an answer about the Lamborghini.

Lamborghini is yours whenever you're here.

Fine.

Maybe I'll visit it sometime.

Please let someone have died.

Michael, we're leaving now.

Why don't you just plunge this racket through my spleen?

Michael, you said yesterday you didn't like the way I was acting.

I said you were acting mean. I didn't say I didn't like it.

Stephanie.

Goodbye, Mommy.

The door is always open.

You may not think we're the best parents, We're parents, but we're better

minimum wage.

Think about it.

Goodbye, Daddy.

Do you need anything?

Just a hug.

Stay in touch.

Your mother worries so.

I'm going to miss you all so much.

Michael!

I can't help it.

I like that boy.

Meow.