Original subtitles

Oh, I hate this stupid, stupid Vermont.

What on earth happened?

I was pulled over because my headlight or something wasn't working.

And when the policeman saw my Rhode Island license, he said it wasn't any

here. Because it's from out of state?

No, because it's expired.

Stephanie, it's not Vermont's fault that your license expired.

Yes, it is. It was a Vermont policeman who pulled me over.

And then he gave me this...

encyclopedia to study and said I have to take the test Thursday.

This Thursday?

There isn't enough time. That's plenty of time to study.

I'm not talking about to study. I'm talking about to get ready for the

I'll barely be able to get my hairstyle, let alone do my nails.

Your nails won't show. It's just a picture of your face.

Joanna, it shows on my face when my nails aren't done.

Stephanie, everybody's driver's license picture's terrible, but nobody cares.

You should see Dick's. Honey, show Stephanie your driver's license.

Honey, you know I don't like to show it to people.

It's just Stephanie.

Come on, I'm trying to make a point.

Well, it's cute.

You think this is cute?

Not Robert Redford cute.

More like Mr. Potato Head cute.

That's why I don't like to show it to people.

Thank you, Joanna.

I guess if Dick can live with this monstrosity, I can live with... No, I

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass you.

A fly in the ice cube. What'll that Dutch think of next? Hi, George.

Oh, Joanna, Dick, this is Sarah. You know my friend Dutch, the one who's so

funny? Well, this is his sister.

It's so nice to meet you. Dutch has told me so much about this inn.

What do you think?

Smells fine.

I should have known better than to believe...

Oh, George and Dutch and I went over to Fairleigh to go square dancing. Let's

show them that new step you taught me.

That's right for Dan.

Oh, hi, Dutch.

He's supposed to be waiting in the truck.

What?

There's a missile crisis?

You're kidding.

You are kidding.

Yeah, you really had me going there, Dutch.

Yeah, what are you calling about, Dutch?

Why didn't you just come inside?

I guess you're right. A missile crisis is funnier over the phone.

Sarah Dutch is at the cafe next door. He says if you aren't in the truck in two

minutes, he's going to write your telephone number in the men's room.

I better go.

It was nice meeting you. Oh, you too, Sarah.

I'll walk you to the door.

I had a real nice time.

I had a better time.

Well, good night.

George!

Yeah?

You really like Sarah, huh?

Yeah, we've kind of been seeing each other for a few weeks now. George, why

didn't you tell us? Well, I was afraid you'd tease me. You know we'd never do a

thing like that.

No, we'd never do anything like that, George.

She's pretty special, huh? Come on, Dick. You said you wouldn't tease.

I'm not teasing. Well, then how come you're smiling?

We're just happy for you, George. Now you've got Joanna doing it.

We're sorry, George. She seems very... You're smiling.

She seems very sweet.

Geez, can't a guy go on a date without people ribbing him to death?

Looks like George has got a girlfriend.

Let up, will you, dear?

Well, I'm having a nervous breakdown.

Well, that's what's wrong.

This, I have tried and tried for two days to learn this, and it's impossible.

my life is over.

Stephanie, relax. You passed a driving test before.

Well.

Well, you have a Rhode Island driver's license.

Actually, it was sort of a present for my 16th birthday.

Came with the car.

Why don't you go upstairs and study a little more, and if you're still having

trouble tomorrow, I'll help you. All right. I'll try.

I can't believe my life is ruined because of this stupid, stupid Vermont.

Morning.

George, looks like you had another date with Sarah last night.

Am I smiling?

You went out on a date last night?

Yeah, Sarah and I went on a midnight picnic.

She says that's the best time to go. All the ants are asleep.

She was joking, Dick. You can smile.

George, you certainly look wonderful these days.

Come on, Joanna.

No, really. You and Sarah look like you have so much fun together.

Yeah, we really get along, and we teach each other things, too. That's

important. What kind of things? Well, she's teaching me to square dance, and

teaching her how to rivet.

Well, that'll come in handy when you build your dream house.

Or a bridge.

Well, I think it's sweet.

I've got a lot of work to do.

Guess I'd better get along.

Don't you want some breakfast?

No, thanks. I'm not very hungry these days.

Isn't that darling?

What? George has lost his appetite because he's in love.

Oh.

Remember how you lost your appetite when we first started going out?

Oh, yeah.

I adjusted that shower head and tightened that doorknob. Oh, good. What

want me to do next? Paint the sills or sand that outside banister?

I've got sandpaper right in my toolbox. You know, for the banister.

Fine. Go ahead, George.

Oh, of course, I've got the paintbrush right here with me, too.

It's up to you, George.

You want me to do the sills, don't you?

I don't care, George.

If you want me to do the sills, just say so.

All right, do the sills.

You're in.

George! In here, Sarah.

Hi. What happened?

Oh, nothing. I got a little splinter from the banister.

I could sand that for you, Dick.

Good idea, George.

You weren't in your room, so I thought I'd try over here.

I hope you don't mind, Dick.

Oh, no.

I brought you some muffins, George.

Mmm, apple walnut with cinnamon.

No, plain.

Good, my favorite.

Is this your study?

Yes.

Where are the bones?

Don't feel bad. He almost got me with that one, and I live here.

I know you're busy, so I'll run. Oh, George, do you want to go to the movies

tonight?

Exploding Planet is playing.

I hear it's very good.

Oh, that's the one where the planet explodes.

Gee, Dick, now you gave away the ending.

We can still enjoy it.

You ever go?

Well, yeah, sure. That'd be great.

I'll see you tonight.

Bye, Dick.

What did I do that for? I don't want to go to the movies with her.

You don't? No.

I got to break up with her.

Why do you want to break up with her? Because she's getting awfully serious.

And I know she likes me more than I like her.

Are you sure?

Yeah. A person knows about things like that. Like the way I know I like you

than you like me.

You don't like me more than I like you? Yes, I do.

We like each other the same.

Nope. I like you much more.

No way.

Then how come you never come up to my room to see me? I always come down here.

Well, I think a lot about going up to your room, but...

Before I can do anything about it, you're already here.

That's because I know if I don't come here, I'll never see you.

And I like you more than you like Peter.

Dick, I wish you hadn't brought this up now.

I've got enough to worry about with Sarah.

She's been talking about settling down.

Is that so bad? She's...

You know, she's very nice. Joanna and I were talking about... I know she's nice,

and she's pretty, and she's fun, and she's a damn fine riveter.

And everybody thinks she's perfect for me, but I don't love her.

I want to, but I just don't.

I hope this doesn't make you like me any less, because as it is, I like...

George, how do you break up with someone, Dick?

You're asking me like I'm some kind of expert. Come on, Dick. A great guy like

you must have hurt someone.

Not really.

Well, once.

What happened?

She mowed a faceless remark on my lawn.

I just hope Sarah doesn't cry and scream and fall down on her knees and beg me

to take her back.

George, she's an adult. She wouldn't react like that. I always do.

There. We got the munchies.

Now all we need is a stereo and girls and curlers and it'd be just like it was

when I was in college.

Poor Joanna.

Oh, you were describing a happy memory.

I'll get some sodas.

Is George still in his room?

Yeah, he never came down to get dinner.

This thing with Sarah must have him really confused.

I'm going to go over and talk to him in his room.

You're going to his room?

Yes. Yes, I'm going to his room.

Okay, I've just never known you to go there before.

Well, that doesn't mean I can't go now. I mean, he's a friend.

Dick, it's fine with me. Good.

Because I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to go to that movie.

I've just, just never, never gotten there.

Maybe you should see a travel agent.

If anyone calls, I'll be in George's room.

You're going to George's room? Yes.

I'm going to be in George's room, okay?

cranky ever since I called him Mr. Potato Head.

Well,

I'm feeling better.

I think I'm getting the hang of this studying stuff.

Great. How far have you gotten? I've got the message from the commissioner down

pat.

Good.

I'll just ask you some questions, but don't yell at me or I'll cry.

Don't worry.

Okay.

Is driving in Vermont a right or a privilege?

All right.

Well, it's kind of a right, but it's more of a privilege.

I got it wrong?

George, I just thought I'd come up here and visit you in your room.

Well, okay, but next time, could you give me a call first?

You're thinking about Sarah?

Yes, and I figured out a way not to hurt her. Have a seat, Dick.

Here's the plan.

Sarah and I will never be alone together.

All our dates will be double dates.

That way she can never start talking about settling down.

And we can just go on and have fun and nobody will get hurt.

That's the plan.

What do you think?

George, I don't think it's a good one.

Really? I think it's foolproof.

Well, George, I see a problem here. I mean, you have a date tonight, just the

two of you alone.

Dick, you want to see a movie tonight?

Yeah, George. It's exploding planet.

No, George, first of all, Joanna is busy helping Stephanie, and second of all,

nobody wants to double date with someone who's double dating just to avoid

breaking up. Well, sure, you're just saying that to shoot holes in my plan.

George, it's not a plan, it's a hole.

But you have to come.

I can't be alone with her tonight. She'll start kissing me and telling me

loves me, and then I'll have to tell her the truth.

George, I can't. I wouldn't feel right.

I guess I understand.

Good, George.

I wouldn't want you to do anything that rubbed you the wrong way.

No, I appreciate that.

I'd do it for you, of course, but that's because I like you more than you do me.

All right.

I'll do it, George.

Hope the storm holds off until the end of the picture.

Yeah, that would certainly put an end to this.

Glad you decided to come along at the last minute, Dick.

Yeah, and so am I. I never miss a good exploding movie.

Are you all right, George?

Yeah, I'm just watching the movie.

I don't want to miss when, you know, Boom.

Run! This whole planet's going to explode!

True!

George, I think you're catching a cold.

No, I'm fine. I told you.

I could do this forever.

Whoa, am I hungry. I think I'll run up to the Mr. Wiener stand and get maybe a

hot dog.

George?

I know watching people trample each other makes me hungry.

Does anybody else want something? George, don't go now. I think this is

exciting part.

Oh, all right.

George? George?

Something wrong?

No. Everything's fine.

George, there is something wrong, isn't there?

Yeah.

Is he all right?

He's fine.

Tell her you're fine.

I'm fine.

He's fine.

Sarah,

I lied.

What? What?

I'm not fine. Something is very wrong. George, George, you had a plan.

What? What's wrong?

Don't be upset, please.

I don't think we should see each other anymore. I'm sorry.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Okay.

It's time for me to make a visit to Mr. Weir.

Sarah, I was hoping you wouldn't take it this way.

I can't help it.

I always cry when my heart's ripped out.

This is ripping my heart out.

Then why did you do it?

Sarah, have you ever bought a hat?

What? When I go to buy a hat, I'll look over the whole rack, and one of them

will seem to say, Hey, George, I'm the hat for you.

And sure enough, when I put it on, there's something about that hat that

right.

It may not be the nicest hat or the prettiest hat.

It's just the right hat.

Sarah, you're just not the hat for me.

I'm sorry.

I wish you were saying this to me instead of me saying it to you.

So do I.

Because I would have said that.

You're the hat for me.

Just a minute, Dick.

Boy, this is worse than I ever dreamed it would be.

I'm not having such a great night, Eve.

You know what?

Are you sure about this?

I hope so.

Are you all right?

I'm all right.

I guess things just don't work out sometimes.

You can come in now, Dick.

You better hurry.

This whole planet's about to... You should have listened

to him.

to keep out of the rain, I spent two hours at the Mr. Wiener stand.

Honey, it must have been awful.

Well, I got to meet Mr. Wiener.

That's not his real name.

Kind of an interesting guy. Did you know that until a year ago, there was no

legal definition of chilly?

Well, how do I look?

Absolutely wonderful.

Thank you.

Good luck on the driver's test.

No.