Original subtitles

Finished my new book.

Oh, great. What did you decide to call it?

Roaming Through Wyoming.

Go ahead. Read it.

Read this.

Roaming Through Wyoming by Dick Loudon.

Dedicated to my wife, Joanna, without whose love and support this book could

never have been written.

Oh, honey, that's sweet.

I thought you'd get a kick out of it. I do every time you do it.

Excuse me.

I've got a delivery for a Kirk Devane. Oh, you want the Minuteman Cafe.

I know that. But there's a sign on the door that says, gone to lunch.

You can leave it here if you want. There's a $35 delivery charge.

Well, you're going to come back another time.

Now, wait a minute, Dick. We can give him the $35. Why don't you bring it in?

Great. Thanks.

You don't mind, do you?

Do what you want. It's our money.

Honey, this could be something really important that Kirk needs.

Well,

it certainly looks like something Kirk needs.

What is this?

It's a chicken.

I see that.

Hey, kids, I'm Incredible Chicken. Insert a coin, and I will lay an egg

present inside for you.

Thanks.

Thanks. Have a good day.

We will now.

Well, what do you think?

Have you been in there the whole time? Look, I'm sorry. I saw the truck and I

was caught in one of those embarrassing situations where I didn't have any cash.

So you thought, let the suckers next door pay.

Hey, you are my best friends and you are wonderful people.

Don't talk about yourselves that way.

Kirk, I don't understand. With all the things you need for the cafe, why did

buy this? To help pay for all those things. Kids will love this.

Come on, Dick. Let me show you how it works.

Have you got it, Porter?

All right. Now watch.

Take it.

It's yours.

What is it?

A giraffe.

Isn't that great?

A chicken that lays a giraffe?

Come on, give Joanna a quarter. Let her try. She doesn't want to try. Oh,

please, honey, it's just a quarter.

that comes into that cafe is going to drive his parents crazy until they give

him a quarter.

This thing is going to be a goldmine.

Come on, Dick. Help me move it over there. You're not moving this chicken

I get my $35.

I'll give it to you Saturday.

Then Saturday, you get your chicken.

Okay, then fine. Keep Incredible Chicken. You should be the one to keep

Incredible Chicken. You know why? Because you're cheap, cheap, cheap.

Hi, Kirk. What's new?

Nothing. It's the same old story.

Doc and I just came from the planning meeting for maple syrup days.

How's everything going? Pretty good, but we've got something kind of important

to ask you. What's that?

What's this?

Oh, nothing. It's something stupid that Kirk bought. What do you do with it? You

put a quarter in it, and it lays an egg.

Well, I'll be darned.

What was it you wanted to ask me? Well, at the end of the day, we crown the

maple syrup king and queen, and we always have some prominent local citizen

as master of ceremony.

Look, I got a frog!

Let me see.

Look at that. I know I got one, too.

You were saying something about a prominent local citizen.

Oh, right. We'd like to know if you'd be our emcee.

When is it? Saturday night.

Sure, I'd be glad to. Well, great.

Can I keep this?

Yeah.

Oh, one more thing. Would it be all right if a few of the out -of -town

contestants stayed here with you guys?

Sure, I don't see why not. Oh, terrific.

And one more thing, Joanna, would you serve as chaperone for the girls? We

somebody to make sure everything runs smoothly at the contest.

I'll be happy to. I'm going to be there, too. Yeah, George has a very big job.

I'm the facility chairman.

What does the facility chairman do?

Cleans up the facility.

George is going to be there, too. We better make sure that Stephanie can look

after the inn.

Stephanie!

with us tonight. This is our maid, Stephanie.

Hi.

You're our maid?

That's great. Someone to press our dresses.

You guys never told me about this.

You mean that they were staying here? You never told me about any of it.

the maple syrup queen?

The maple syrup queen is the queen of the maple syrup days.

It's a contest?

Yeah, there's prizes and everything.

What kind of prizes?

It's gift certificates for clothing or something to wear.

Although the queen's prize is even bigger.

Like, like, like jewelry or something.

Come on, nut in this.

Well, Stephanie, I think you have to be nominated, don't you? No, you just have

to sign up.

Well, even so, there's probably a talent competition or something.

No, there isn't. They just ask you some questions and then they pick a winner.

that. I didn't know.

Besides, I think this contest is for, you know, younger girls.

Why don't you just run over me with your car, Joanna?

I didn't mean you aren't young. I just meant you're not as young as these

Well, neither are you.

I know, and I'm not in the contest.

Well, I want to be in the contest.

Well, you can't be in the contest.

Why not? Because you promised to work tonight.

But I want to win stuff.

Come on, Stephanie, now you can't be in the contest. the contest and that's

that. You're an adult, you have a job, and the responsibility that goes with

that job. Well, poop.

Honey, I think Stephanie appreciates what you're saying.

Why don't you show the girls up to their rooms?

Okay, everybody, will you follow me? I'm sorry, Stephanie.

You know, sometimes I think the whole world is against me.

You're right, Stephanie. You know, every Thursday, myself and four and a half

billion other people get together and try to figure out how to make life

miserable for you.

Well, tell them for me they're doing a great job.

Who's going to take it?

How about the maid?

Stephanie, do you mind?

Thanks.

Okay, all set?

Stephanie, you tell us when to say cheese.

Okay.

We really don't have time.

Yeah, besides, there will be a photographer at the contest.

Boy, I sure am glad I'm not one of the judges.

I'd have to give everybody first prize.

Four of the girls can go with us, then two can go with you.

Listen, Stephanie, we'll be at the fellowship hall if you need us. Fine.

to cheer up. I already tried.

Goodbye, Stephanie.

Goodbye. We're sorry you're not going with us. By the way, that's a really

robe.

Thanks.

Stephanie, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you have to stay here tonight.

I know.

But, I mean, try to keep it in perspective. It's just a beauty contest.

going to make a difference in anybody's life.

I guess you're right.

I am feeling sorry for myself, but I'll get over it.

Good. All right, we'll see you tomorrow.

I'm not feeling sorry for myself, and I'll never get over it.

kind of depressed.

Why?

It's just that there's this dance in town tonight that I wanted to go to and

they're going to pick a queen and I wanted to be that too. And instead I

stay here and look after this place.

Oh.

Gee, it seems a shame a pretty young girl like you has to miss out on all

fun.

What if I watch the end for you?

You'd do that?

Well, I'd be happy to.

But I don't even know you.

Oh, I'm not sure that's a good idea.

Well, I wouldn't want to get you into any trouble.

Of course, if I wore a disguise and got back before anybody got home.

Well, it's up to you.

You talked me into it. I did?

This is like a miracle.

I can't believe I'm really going to the festival and it's all thanks to you.

By the way, who are you? I'm Kate.

Thanks a million.

I feel like I'm Cinderella and you're my fairy godmother.

Just a minute.

You dropped your... Oh, thank you.

Thank you, Kathy.

Judges, that was Kathy Sue McGregor. And now we're ready for our tenth and final

contestant. Dick, honey, number ten broke a strap. Can you just talk for a

minute?

Okay.

Well, it seems we have a...

or two more.

Why don't I tell a joke?

As some of you may know, I'm an innkeeper, so I suppose this would be

inn joke.

Anyway, there's this guy staying in this inn, and he calls down for room

service, and he said, could... could...

Could you please send me up some runny scrambled eggs, cold toast.

No, I'm sorry.

Burnt toast and cold coffee.

Maybe I better start this movie from the beginning.

This guy's staying in the sin, and he calls down.

And he says, calls down room service, and he says, could you send me up some

runny scrambled eggs?

a burnt toast and cold coffee.

And the innkeeper says, I'm sorry, we can't do that.

And the guest says, why not you did yesterday?

Honey, how are we doing over there?

One more minute.

I don't think I have one more minute left in me.

Why don't you tell that innkeeper joke?

I don't know. It's kind of a stupid joke.

Do something. We'll be ready in just a second.

Hasn't this been a wonderful festival?

Well, we still have some time. Let's... How's it going?

Fine. That dick's quick on his feet, isn't it?

Personally, I've never been to Maple, sir.

days before, but I mean, I can't imagine anything better than this one.

Honey, we're ready.

So soon.

Ladies and gentlemen, our tenth and final contestant.

Good evening.

Hello.

Your name is?

Corrie Bishop.

And how old are you, Corrie?

Seventeen.

And where do you live?

I realize that, but where is home?

405 Oak Street, East Pulteney, Vermont, 05741.

And I understand you're a senior in high school?

Yes, sir.

And what are your plans after graduation?

A bunch of my friends and me are going to go to the beach for a week.

How does one get into the contest?

What? I meant to be here earlier, but my house burned down.

Well, I suppose we could squeeze you in. How do you know I'm bending the rules?

Oh, thank you.

I've always depended on the kindness of strangers.

Well, here. Put this on and go backstage, and I'll tell the emcee

another contestant.

And if I win this contest, I will do my best to represent the state of Vermont

and maple syrup.

To the best of my abilities.

Well, thank you, Corey.

Judges, that was Corey Bishop, our final contestant, so... Pardon me just a

second. What is it? There's another girl.

What? A last -minute contestant. Oh, okay. By the way, I meant to tell you

earlier, you left the lights on in your car.

Turn them off. I tried. It's locked.

Well, that's all right. You're out now.

Just been brought to my attention that we have another contestant. Is the girl

back there?

Ah, here she is.

You just made it. And your name is?

Inez Velasco.

Inez Velasco.

Yes, sir.

Pardon us for just a second.

Stephanie. How did you know?

Because I'm not a moron. That's how I knew.

What are you doing here?

I couldn't help it.

I just had to be in the contest.

You're supposed to be watching the inn.

Look, if you want to yell at me when we get home, I'll understand. But for now,

please just go along with this.

I'm going to go along with it because I don't want to ruin the contest. But we

are going to talk.

When we get home. Fine. I promise I'll cry and everything.

Well, we're back.

We were talking to Inez Velasco.

Inez, where are you from?

Dixie.

Inez, why don't you just tell the judges and the audience why you'd like to be

April Serve Queen.

I would like to be maple syrup queen because I have always been an admirer of

maple syrup.

And I would be most proud to represent your fine product in the great state of

Vermont. And having come from poverty, I would like to have some nice clothes.

Well, that certainly is a nice dress you're wearing now.

Thank you. I made this from curtains.

Thank you, Inez. Well, I've... I think it's time for the judges to make their

decision. And I see now the judges have reached their decision.

Here you go, Dick. Thank you.

Okay, our second runner -up and winner of the $50 gift certificate from

Bridget's Fashion Shop, Kathy Sue McGregor. Kathy?

The first runner -up and winner of the $100 gift certificate from Bridget's

Fashion Shop, Corey Bishop.

And that brings us now to our grand prize winner, this year's maple syrup

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you... Oh, no.

Yes, Inez is right. She won.

Congratulations, Inez.

Thank you, Mr. Loudon.

And now, could we have the maple syrup king come out and crown our queen?

Dick, this is Ricky Bowen from Winooski, Vermont.

He's a junior in high school and says he hopes to become a senior.

Okay, Ricky,

would you do the honors?

I crown you.

Maple Syrup Queen.

There you are, ladies and gentlemen, our Maple Syrup King and Queen,

Ricky and Inez.

And now, Inez, I would like to present you with your grand prize.

The Maple Syrup Advisory Board has really...

outdone themselves this year because this year, Queen Inez, you are the

recipient of a $1 ,000 college scholarship

to be used at the college of your

choice.

Not at Bridget's?

No, this is for books, not for blouses.

Thank you very much.

Thank you, judges.

Thank you, Dick.

Thank you, everybody.

Who wants to trade?

Tiffany, stop crying.

I can't help it. I still feel badly.

Well, everybody is proud of you, at least, for giving back the scholarship.

But everybody's still mad at me.

I'll bet even Ella is mad at me.

Somebody took my chicken.