Original subtitles

Oh, no.

What's the matter? This is the third time this month someone has written us a

bad check.

From now on, I think we should have a rule that we're not going to accept

personal checks.

Okay. We'll take credit cards, we'll take traveler's checks, but we're not

to take personal checks anymore.

Will you back me up on this? I just said okay.

Well, I know you say that, honey, but as soon as someone comes downstairs and

asks if they can write us a personal check, you'll say sure.

No, I won't.

Just wait and see. The next person that walks down those stairs and wants to

write a personal check, I'll say dream on, buddy.

Morning. Coffee fresh?

Yeah.

Great.

What are you doing?

For me, it's for my customers.

Listen, Cindy's going to be performing tomorrow at a charity rummage sale, and

she asked me to ask you guys if you wanted to donate anything.

Oh, we'd love to. I've been wanting to clean out Dick's closet anyway.

What about Stephanie? I'm sure she's got a lot of things she could give.

Stephanie!

Could you come out here for a second?

I guess so.

What did you want?

Kirk just told us that Cindy's going to be performing at a charity rummage sale

tomorrow, and she wanted to know if you could donate anything.

Gee, I'd love to, but I'm kind of broke right now.

You don't have to give money. The idea of a rummage sale is to give things like

clothes.

Clothes?

Well, what's the matter?

Well, I don't really think I have any clothes I want to give away.

Stephanie, I'm sure you could find something.

Well, look.

What kind of things do they want?

Usually they want practical things.

That'll take some digging.

Thanks, guys.

You know, I'm always telling Cindy how classy you are. This makes it look like

I'm telling the truth.

Is that George?

See, the Georgia, there's a cattle drive going by.

Guess what?

They found a cure for being a hayseed?

The greatest thing that's ever happened to me just happened. I'm going to be a

volunteer fireman.

What's all this about, George?

George, I didn't even know you wanted to be a fireman. Oh, I've always wanted to

be a volunteer fireman. I've had my name on the waiting list for years, and

today it came up.

I'm finally going to do something that the people in this town aren't going to

laugh at.

George, what are you talking about? Nobody laughs at you.

Oh, yeah?

Remember all that razzing I got last year when I said I saw a UFO?

And then they put me in charge of the Thanksgiving Day parade and it rained.

Let's face it, nobody in this town thinks I can do anything right.

Well, in their defense, I think you've given them good reason.

Well, not anymore. I finally found something I can really be good at. But

being a fireman dangerous?

Not in this town. We haven't had a fire since 1979.

But that was a big one. Where was it?

At the fire station.

What? A stack of papers for the paper drive caught fire, but they stopped the

paper drive and they haven't had any trouble since.

Well, I'd better go get my work done, so I'll have the whole day tomorrow to be

at the firehouse.

It's my orientation.

Yahoo!

I can't believe how excited he is. Yeah.

You know, it's just the kind of thing he needs to boost his confidence, and I

think just the kind of thing he'll be good at. Well, needless to say, all of

with wood frame houses will be rooting for him.

Morning. We'd like to check out.

Oh, my.

The place is beautiful. We just can't wait to come back again.

Thank you. We're glad you enjoyed it.

How much do I owe you?

Two days, that's $70.

Will you take a check?

Sure.

seen you in your outfit before. It's adorable.

Oh, thanks. It's just a little something I threw together.

I love it. Oh, is this the stuff for the rummage sale? Yeah.

Stephanie, Cindy's here.

Coming. How long does it take you to look like that?

About an hour.

That's how long it takes me to look like this.

Hi, Cindy.

Hi, Stephanie.

Here's your stuff. Oh, great.

You've never seen Cindy in her clown outfit before. What do you think?

This isn't what you're giving, is it? Yeah, why?

Out of all the clothes in your closet, the only thing you could find to give to

the poor was a strapless evening gown?

Well, I wanted to give more. I just couldn't find anything.

Besides, this happens to be a very fine dress, just because I could never find a

pair of shoes to go with it.

Stephanie, the people we're giving these things to really don't go to that many

balls.

They could shorten it and wear it for cocktails.

Stephanie, if you don't want to give anything, it's fine. I don't want

to feel pressured.

No, that's not it.

Listen, do you think it might pick up these poor people if I just loaned them

something?

Stephanie, maybe I can help you find something.

Okay.

But I'm telling you right now, I have looked and looked and I love everything.

Uh, Joanna, I know you're here. Yeah, she's upstairs with Stephanie.

You know, um, I'm curious, Cindy, you, uh, you never told us how you got to be

clown.

To be like this, what else are you gonna be?

Actually, it's, um, it's just something I always really wanted to do.

I ever, uh, ever tell you I was a clown once?

Professionally? No, no, in a school fair when I was at college. Did you, uh,

juggle and do magic tricks?

No, I never did anything.

What did you do?

I just stood by the ticket booth, and when people would walk in, I'd make my

pants fall down.

That sounds funny.

Yeah, but as the day wore on, you know, it kind of got old.

Besides, my back began to hurt, and I wasn't pulling out my pants as fast as

they were.

All in all, I don't miss it much.

Cindy, but apparently Stephanie's running.

There's nothing in her closet she can bear to part with.

You mean you aren't going to donate anything?

Well, I know everyone hates me and I'm sorry.

Well, you know, Stephanie, if you're really serious about giving something,

could always give your time.

What do you mean?

I mean that you could come down today and help volunteer.

And that would get me out the hook? Great!

Here, grab a box and you can come with me.

Thanks, God. Don't mention it.

I've done anything like this before, so if I do something wrong, nobody's going

to yell at me, are they? Oh, no, of course not. Will I have to work a cash

register or make change or anything?

No, not if you don't want to.

What about standing on my feet for a long time? I don't really like to do

Don't you like Cindy?

Yeah, I do. I think she looks adorable in that outfit.

You know, honey, maybe someday you should tell her about the time you were

clown.

Come on, Joanna, I do have my pride.

You look wonderful.

You think so?

Oh, yeah.

You look like such a fireman.

How did the initiation go? Great. I learned all kinds of fire prevention and

safety procedures, and then I saw a pretty gruesome film called Our Flaming

Then Hank, the regular fireman, took me out for an ice cream, and I came home.

Sounds like a great day.

Yeah. You know, I don't mean to sound cocky, but when I walked down the street

in this outfit, people looked at me a lot... Differently than they ever did

before.

I bet.

Oh, and guess what else? Since they only have one permanent fireman, the

volunteers have to take turns spending the night at the fire station, and my

turn is tonight.

So soon? Well, it's supposed to be Earl Morgan's turn, but he bought a new car

this morning, and he wants to stay home and sit in it.

So I'm filling in.

Looks like tonight the town's in your hands, George.

Wow.

This is going to be one of the biggest nights of my life.

Now, make sure that driveway is kept clear at all times.

Now, let me acquaint you with some of the equipment that we use here at the

station.

This is the truck.

That's about it for equipment.

On to procedure.

This is where the calls come in.

Somebody calls in about a fire, you get the name, the address, the telephone

number. Name, address, telephone number. That's right.

And when you get the address, you find it on the map here.

If it's in the red section, you sound the alarm once.

If it's in the blue section, you sound the alarm twice.

This lets the fireman know which way to head.

Now, if you get the system confused, don't worry about it. The sound is flat.

The guys can just follow the smoke.

Now, here's the second most important rule.

Never... Use this telephone for personal calls. It's only for emergencies. We

can't take the risk of tying it up. Got it.

Good. Now... Excuse me.

Fire department?

Oh, hi, honey.

Oh, sure, yeah. I can pick it up on the way home, yeah.

Anything else?

Oh, good.

Okay, fine. See you soon.

Bye -bye.

Where was I?

Never use this phone for personal calls.

That's right.

These are the keys to the fire truck. If there's a fire, do I drive the truck?

No. You have to be a fireman for ten years before you get to drive the truck.

Why is that?

That's just because.

When somebody calls in about a fire, you sound the alarm, you open the garage

doors, and you start up the truck.

By the time she gets warmed up, I should be able to get here.

Then you'll drive the truck?

That's right, because I've been a fireman for ten years.

If there's nothing else, George, I'll be running along.

I left my number right on the board here.

If you need anything at all, just give me a call. Right. But not on that phone.

Right.

Good luck, George.

Good to have you with us. Thanks, Hank. You won't be sorry.

Mrs. Utley.

Don't worry. I've got everything under control.

Hi, Dick.

Hi, Joanna.

Oh, shoot.

Where did they go?

Oh, there they are.

Oh, no!

George, I'm down at the fire station and I need your help.

I just dropped the keys and my life down the drain.

George? Over here, Dick.

Did the hanger work?

No, and now I can't even hang up my coat.

This is terrible. I can't believe I did this.

George, there has to be an extra set of keys around somewhere.

I looked everywhere.

I can't find any. Why don't you call Hank? I'm sure he has an extra set. Oh,

I call Hank, he'll know I lost the keys and they'll probably fire me. George,

you're a volunteer. They can't fire you.

Then they'll probably kill me.

Wait a minute. All we need is to move the truck. How?

Well, maybe we can push it. George, put it in neutral. Okay.

I don't think so.

I wonder how much this weighs.

Eight and a half tons.

That's our problem.

Dick, what are we going to do?

Wait a minute, George. We don't have to move the truck. All we have to move is a

tire.

The tire is attached to the truck, Dick.

I know that, George. Maybe we can jack it up and take the tire off. Oh, of

course. Why didn't I think of that?

George, you're just nervous.

I guess you're right. I want so much to be a good fireman that I can't think in

an emergency.

All right, you see if you can find a jack. Oh, wait a minute.

I've got a big jack at home in the garage.

Great, you go home and get it, and I'll wait here.

Oh, you can't wait here, Dick. You're not a fireman.

All right, you wait here, and I'll get the jack.

Dick, Dick, Dick, would you do me a favor?

If anybody asks why we need a jack at the firehouse, just tell them we decided

to rotate the tires.

Right.

jack, George. Oh, good. Did you get the lug wrench?

Yeah, it's coming.

George, I know I promised that I wouldn't tell anybody, but I couldn't

jack in the car by myself, and besides, you know, we need someone to help us.

Who did you tell?

George Utley, ladies and gentlemen, boob of the century.

Kirk, hand me the lug wrench. You put the jack under the truck. George, you

help me loosen these lug nuts.

Couldn't you have asked, Joanna?

I just want you to know, George, you have ruined my Saturday night. I'm

Kirk. I didn't do this on purpose.

I just hate wasting my time at this stupid firehouse when I could be hanging

around the rummage sale waiting for Cindy.

I'll get it.

Turn harder, George.

I'm trying, Dick.

This thing is stuck.

Who put these on here anyway?

That's no use.

Maybe this is the way things are meant to be.

You mean tight?

No, you know how they say some men are destined to be president. Maybe I was

destined to not be a fireman.

George, try to look at the bright side. Anybody who's had as much bad luck as

you have is bound to be due for some good luck.

Well, maybe you're right.

There's a fire. What?

Why, there can't be a fire there. hasn't been a fire since 1979.

You want me to call them back and tell them that? Dick, what are we going to

George, don't panic. We have to panic. Someone's house is burning down.

All right, sound the alarm.

Where's the entrance?

You guys start getting coats and hats. For what?

To fight the fire. How can we fight the fire if we haven't got a truck? We'll

take Dick.

You go find a linen closet.

Grab something.

All right.

I'm sorry to bother you, but I just thought you might have seen them.

Well, if you do hear anything, let me know, Shirley.

Okay, thanks.

ran into some kind of trouble at the firehouse and Dick went to help him and

hasn't come back yet. Did you call down there? Yes, and there's no answer. I

don't know what's going on.

I'm sorry we weren't back soon, but we stopped and got a bite to eat.

Well, I'm not worried. I'm sure they're all right.

How was the rummage sale?

It was probably the most moving experience I've ever had.

A rummage sale? I've never seen such an outpouring of love and clothing in my

life.

All I'm saying is if my pants are ruined, George is paying for it. And

paying for the broken window in the car.

Oh, yeah?

You want to hear something?

No, I'm not.

Why are you dressed like that? Where have you been?

We were fighting a fire.

You fought a fire? Believe me, I would have rather been at the rummage sale.

Oh, no, but I'm proud of you.

What I meant was I would have rather been at the rummage sale, but my fellow

came first.

What happened?

I made another dumb mistake. That's what happened.

No, you didn't. This man performed a giant act of courage.

as a fit of panic.

He didn't panic.

He went into a smoke -filled kitchen not knowing what danger was waiting for

him. What danger?

It was a blazing fillet of soul.

He didn't know it was fish. The point is, it was brave of him to even go in

there in the first place.

Then explain to me why he tossed a burning skillet in the backyard and then

threw himself on top of it. It was a natural reaction.

To a hand grenade, not to someone's dinner.

Kirk's right. I may have looked brave, but the whole thing wouldn't have

happened if I hadn't messed everything up.

Let's face it, I'm no fireman.

I'm going down tomorrow and resign.

George, don't feel that way. You did the best you could.

Yeah, I'm not sure that I understand everything that happened, but it sounds

me like you were a hero.

I can't imagine anyone making it sound otherwise.

We're talking about me, right?

Okay, it's true.

While I might have been smarter about putting the fire out, instead of

myself on top of it, I would have used Dick's coat.

The point is, you were thinking about other people while I was thinking about

myself. And you.

You were brave. And if anybody asks me, that's what I'm going to tell them. Gee,

thanks, Kirk.

Excuse me.

Oh, Hank.

Oh, Joanna, Stephanie, Cindy. This is Hank Dawson, our permanent fireman. Hi.

Nice to meet you. Is everybody okay here?

Yeah, we're fine.

Hank, I'm sorry about everything that happened.

I'd turn in my badge, except I never got one.

What are you talking about? You didn't do anything wrong.

See? And he's a fireman.

Well, I lost the keys to the fire truck.

Oh, we lose keys to that fire truck all the time. You do?

Oh, sure. With so many volunteers, guys take them home with them, they leave

them at work. There's keys to that fire truck all over this town.

Isn't that kind of risky? I mean, anyone could come in and drive off with a fire

truck. No, no, you can't drive the truck till you've been a fireman for ten

years.

Listen, George, I'm really sorry about this. I had the badge in my pocket all

day long and forgot all about it.

There you go.

George, congratulations.

Oh, you're here.

I'm going to be running along, everybody.

Nice meeting you. Good night.

Good night, Hank. Thank you.

Now, how do you feel?

Oh, I think I'm going to cry.

Oh, that's sweet.

No, that's pain.

Hank's... Stab me with that vest.

Wow.