Original subtitles

Mmm.

All right, everybody, who wants Sal's Berry Steak?

Ew, nasty.

Daddy, TV dinners?

Yeah, well, you're going to miss my home cooking this weekend when I'm away at

the annual Saturn Retreat. Yeah, well, that means we could eat out.

All right, Mom, Sammy's mother's going to pick you up from school tomorrow, all

right? And, Dad, I don't want to go to Sammy's house.

Well, what's the matter? You and Sammy fighting again?

His grandfather always walks around the house naked.

You mean in his boxers? No, Dad, in his walker.

Hey, can I stay here with Dorian?

Daddy, you know what? I know you thought you might never hear this, but I

actually met my little brother.

Can you come stay on campus with me?

I can stay at the dorm?

Is that cool, Dad? I think it's a good idea, Mom. Yeah.

Me too.

Me too.

Hey, when are you rolling out, Uncle Frank? Well, actually, we are going to

rolling out tomorrow evening.

We? Yeah.

I thought that you'd come down with me to the convention.

It'll be nice.

Hey, there's a disco.

Saturday night fever.

Oh, great. I'll go grab my bell bottom.

Boy, don't sleep on the Saturn dealers. You know, last year, they turned Vegas

out. No, thanks. Look, I got a whole lot... Wait.

Hold on. Did y 'all say Vegas? Yeah, the retreat's in Las Vegas.

Yeah, I'm down.

Well, good.

I'll get an extra ticket to the Chubby Checker review.

All right, Miles, this is my suite.

Look, Niecy and I are in there.

That's Brenda's room right there, and, uh, some thing named Alicia stays in

there. And this is tight.

So nobody's in charge?

No, you're in charge of yourself.

Cool. Well, I'm gonna hang out on campus while you study.

Dorian told me how to mack on some college honeys.

Oh, no, you're not.

You're gonna stay here and mack that homework.

And no TV until it's done.

Hey, Mo.

You ain't nothing but dad in a skirt.

Don't worry, when I get back from the library, we're going to have some fun,

too. I'm going to take you to the famous Cal U root beer brewery, the lacrosse

game, and the new insect exhibit is opening in the biology building.

Bugs?

I'm not into bugs anymore, Mo.

I want to go to a keg party, a step show.

I want to see some college honeys. I'm talking about panty race.

Boy, you are 13.

You better sit here and read some Harry Potter and watch Nickelodeon.

Be back soon with the books.

Oh, you.

Okay, I'm calling security.

My name's Mitchell. Miles Mitchell.

You can call me Eminem for short.

Mitchell. Ken of Moesha, I gather.

Yeah, I'm her brother.

Oh, poor you.

But I can see you got the looks in the family.

Hey,

Mom.

I see you've met it.

And I see you still don't have it.

Anyway,

boy, you working on your homework? Alicia told me to check on you.

Alicia, would you excuse me for a minute?

Why are you trying to put salt in her brother's game?

Can't you see she's digging me?

Oh, you like Alicia.

Oh, that's just nasty, Mom.

Yippee!

Eminem.

So how long will you be with us?

Oh, uh, just for the weekend.

But in three years, I have my license, and I can come and see you whenever I

want.

Perfect, perfect. You know, I need a big, strong wall.

I need a big, strong guy to help me with my laundry tonight. But for starters,

you can help me rearrange my room.

Booyah.

out here.

I turn on the A .C., I'm sweating up my gear.

Absolutely not.

Air conditioning burns gas twice as fast.

You got on three shirts, take one off.

Hey, it's a part of my outfit.

You know I gotta look good when I get to Vegas.

Yeah, well, maybe you ought to have four shirts.

Can I ask you a personal question?

Yeah, sure.

Why are you driving so slow?

Old women are passengers.

On foot.

For your information, it's called defensive driving, Dorian.

Of course, what would you know about driving at your age?

I know that driving below the speed limit will get you pulled over.

Sir.

Will you let me have it?

Good evening, officer.

May I ask why you're pulling me over? You were driving below the minimum speed

limit. I told you.

License and registration, please.

You know, I don't believe that you're going to give me a ticket for being a

cautious driver.

Cautious, sir?

I had to put the radar on to see if you were actually moving.

Look at all these cars speeding.

And you're stopping me for driving safely?

Or is that what they're teaching you in the police academy these days?

I'm sure that you're really just doing your job, right?

You know, I admire and respect a civil servant such as yourself.

Can't find your license, huh?

No.

went to the dorm, he wasn't there.

Really?

I haven't seen him.

Excuse me.

No coins or food stamps.

Miles, what are you doing? Who told you you were this guy?

Well, Miles told me he likes dancing and I like to be entertained, so here we

are. Well, I don't want my brother dancing for you.

Now I see why you don't want to hang out with your sister.

Moesha, honey, you're too uptight. You need to learn how to let go.

Let go?

I don't even have my hands around your throat. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Look, Miles, man, if Hammer can quit, so can you.

Do you like my dancing, Louise? Come on, Miles, let's go.

Go where?

Look, I got two passes to the varsity basketball court. I got the hookup so

can shoot around with the players.

Oh, for real?

Sorry, Mo.

I'm going to have to pass. I'm going to stay here with Alicia.

I'm not asking you, Ma.

Daddy left me in charge, and I say we leave.

Oh, come on, Moesha. Be a nice big sister.

Let him stay.

Yeah, come on, Mo. Let me stay.

Come on.

I'm staying, too.

People driving without a license.

That is irresponsible if you don't mind me saying it. I mind.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I can't listen to some sounds.

I don't drive with my ears.

Because you need to concentrate.

Not a lazy boy.

Thank you.

Look out!

What was that?

Tumbleweed. Sometimes they just roll up on you.

That's it.

I'm getting off at the next exit, and now I'm taking the bus home.

when I was your age, I could change a tire in seven minutes.

You timed it?

Dang, I guess changing a tire was considered a sport back in the day.

Didn't Daddy teach you how to fix a flat?

Boy, did he.

Let's just say it was part of my rehabilitation.

You got into trouble?

Yeah, never will forget it.

Your Uncle Bernie had spotted this gorgeous little Mustang convertible.

The key's still in the ignition.

Somehow or other, I let him talk me into believing that I could just take it for

a spin around the corner and wouldn't get caught.

Boy, I didn't make it halfway up the block before the police had us

surrounded.

That's where I get it from.

Yeah, boy, my pops got me a job in a garage after that.

And all I did, day and night, was change tires.

You must have hated it.

Yeah, I did.

I'm older now, son.

I realize all my daddy was trying to do was put me on the right path.

Here we go.

No, no, no, no, no. I'm not going to preach to you.

Besides, the tire's already fixed.

Come on.

Let's go to Vegas.

All right.

Excuse me.

I think I'll do the driving.

Come on. Give me the keys.

I don't have them.

What do you mean you don't have them? You drove.

Did you drive?

Uh -oh.

I think I locked the keys in the trunk.

My bad.

Don't worry, Ian.

Miles, where have you been?

The mall.

The mall?

Thought you were going to get ice cream.

Oh, we did, at the mall.

Then Miles offered to take me shopping.

Yeah, I wanted to put a smile on my boo's face.

Did you spend all the money you made dancing at the pendulum on Alicia?

No, I made even more money dancing at the mall.

What? I couldn't get the skirt without the shoes.

Alicia, you're a pimp.

Close, but I can think of a better word. Hey,

you disrespect my woman, you disrespect me.

I know you done lost your mind.

Oh, Maya.

Yeah, coming.

Hey, Miles, hold up.

We need to talk.

Okay, fine.

Fine. It's my aromatherapy hour anyway.

I guess I'll just see you later, mm -kay -kay? Mm -kay -kay.

Yeah, she's gonna be my wifey.

Miles, look, I know you're feeling very... Sprung.

I am afraid that... Alicia doesn't feel the same way about you

as you do about her.

Well, you're wrong, Mo.

She wouldn't let me borrow that stuff if she wasn't feeling me.

Oh, two bad men don't stay this way.

What?

Look, Miles, man, you gotta listen to Mo, man.

Alicia is not the girl for you.

Hakeem, when you get a college girl, we'll talk.

And Mo, you know you don't like Alicia, but you don't know her the way I do.

We're together now, so I think you need to mind your own business.

All right, Mindy Mac.

Exactly what I'll do. Great, great, great, great, great, great.

Oh, this is great.

What's wrong with you? Why don't you just pay attention?

Uh -oh, now this whole whack trip is my fault?

I knew taking this trip with you was a bad idea.

And all I wanted to do was go see a fight. Fight?

What fight?

One of my... One of my homies from boot camp is boxing on the

undercard of the Sugar Shane Mosley fight.

Oh.

I see.

And all the time I was thinking that you were going to Vegas, a week had spent a

little time together. But no, no, no.

That was just your ride, huh?

You know, I'm really disappointed in you, Dorian.

That's all I ever hear you say.

It's how disappointed you are in me.

How you expected more from me.

How I let you down all the time.

Look, Dorian, I...

Dorian, I... No, I don't know what to say.

You don't have to say anything.

Look, Dorian, I don't want to fight with you anymore, all right?

And I apologize if I haven't said enough to encourage you.

But there is a lot about you I do admire.

I admire your courage and your strong will.

I'm proud of you, Dorian.

Well, for sure.

Oh, boy.

Not you two again.

Oh, officer.

I can't believe this.

Funny thing, my son and I happen to have locked ourselves out of the car.

Oops.

Why am I not surprised?

Let me see what I can do.

Looks like we're going to Vegas after all.

No, son.

Let's go home. We've already had a long enough trip.

I was hoping you would come to the fight with me.

Really, son?

Yeah. Well, I'd love to.

by separating the colors from the whites, and then you can read the

on the detergent box because I don't know what happens next.

Where's the detergent? Oh, I'm out. Just use Moesha's.

Oh, oh, this shirt is very expensive. Please wash it on the delicate cycle.

Oh, you want me to do it all by myself?

Hey, what's up? Yo, what's up, little man?

Uh, Niecy's not here.

Oh, I'm not here to see Niecy.

Oh, then you're here to see Moe?

I'm here to see Alicia.

Well, uh, I hate to break it to you, partner, but, uh, whatever you and

had, it's over.

She's with me now.

Nico. Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

I stopped by to see if you wanted to go catch a late movie.

Well, I would, but I'm a mess.

Are you kidding?

You look great. I know. It's a curse.

Well, let me go get my jacket.

Hey,

brother, you disrespect me.

Man, how old are you?

That's enough to defend what's mine. Come on, man.

to go back in there, you don't want to see this.

Nico, would you excuse us for a second?

Miles, honey, we've had fun together, okay? And you are a cutie. And in ten

years, if you're still interested in older women and are making some grown

money, then we might have something.

Are you trying to say it's over?

Yeah.

Are you going to be okay?

Yeah, I'm cool.

Oh.

Yo, little man.

You got a lot of heart, man.

Love stinks, doesn't it?

Go away.

I do not want you to see me like this.

Well, that's what big sisters are for.

Look, I'm sorry you got hurt.

Man, how could she pick him over me?

I'd dance for that girl.

Some women don't recognize a good man when they see one.

Who knew women were so complicated?

Well, love is complicated.

Hey, Miles, I'm sorry for being overprotective.

But you're my baby brother, you know?

Dang, Miles, I can't believe you like the honey.

You gotta face it, Mom.

I'm a man now.

If you look real close, you can see my mustache.

Yeah, next Christmas, I'm gonna get you the magic shade.

Hey, Mom, you think the root beer brewery's still open? Yeah.

Doesn't close until midnight.

Can we go? I need to drown my sorrows.

All right.

My treat.

I just had the new DQ chicken.

Miles, why are you still up? I have a list of things for you. I mean, uh, to

in the morning.

You need your rest.

Aw, I'm not so thoughtful of you, Alicia.

Miles, did you finish my laundry? Oh, yeah.

It's all in the room. Chill.

See, Moesha, you gotta train them while they're young.

Miles!

See, Alicia, you said it yourself.

You gotta train a lot of young.

When Gordo helps Ethan with his studies... You have a total in Ethan.

This tutoring thing rocks.

Will Lizzie and Miranda crash the party?

Why don't you tutor me?

Lizzie McGuire, today at 5 .30 Eastern.