Original subtitles

So, Mom, what did Q send you from the past?

I bet you it's some jade.

Oh, no, no, no. Maybe some culture pearls.

Oh, no, no, no. Maybe it's some keys to a Toyota, girl.

Oh, no, it's from BC.

Can I open it first?

Oh, Q sent you some rocks.

They're not just rocks, Hakeem.

That's right, Hakeem.

No, what are they?

Y 'all listen to this.

According to legend, these two rocks were put into two different rivers by a

prince and a princess.

But they were reunited by the powers of love, like you and me, shorty.

Girl, who thinks you'll get so smooth?

Yeah, smooth must be Japanese for cheap.

You're going to be down. Come on.

and my stepmom's out of the country.

I'm beating you, homie.

Look at you.

Hey,

girl, what are you doing?

You better learn how to control your woman.

Look, we didn't come over here to watch you guys play stupid video games.

What this party needs is some music.

Hold up, yo.

This isn't a party. This is supposed to be me and Tony studying.

All I'm asking for is one dance.

Now what?

Man, she make a brother want to stay single.

What's wrong?

What's going on in here?

I'll tell you later.

Well, is anybody going to tell me what's going on here?

Alicia, darling, you look so... Oh, forget it. Just let me borrow your

anthropology notes.

Wait, I need my notes so I can study for the test tomorrow.

But you can stay and copy them. Oh, good.

Pen, paper.

Yo, King, I wish you'd rethink this gift thing, man. You're playing yourself.

This'll work, all right?

Man, she don't want you no more.

Shut up, all right?

Hey, y 'all. Hey, hey, people.

Hey, Niecy. What you looking for, a job?

I hear they hiring at the sexy factory.

Jerome, that's so sweet.

I bet you get a lot of play at the bingo games.

Oh, yeah, I got a little something for you.

Joaquin, please.

You're making this more complicated than it has to be. No, no, no, Mom. I mean,

it's just a little something I've been meaning to give to you.

Come on, Kay.

We've made your delivery. Let's go. Wait.

Come on, Mo. Open it up so we can see what Hakeem stole from his mama's house.

Oh, look. It's the big picture of me and Hakeem.

Hakeem, who painted that? Nieces.

The chip nails and ashy knuckles.

Just thinking that maybe you could hang that up in your room as sort of a

reminder of our special friendship.

Thank you, Hakeem. I know just the place for it.

Cool.

Yo, Hakeem, let me take you out of here and explain to you what just happened.

Now, who would be that desperate?

Easy. Come on, this isn't easy for Hakeem.

Girl, who cares about Hakeem? Look, here's a company paying $500 a week to

anybody who would let them put a camera in their room. So they can watch you?

No, so everybody can watch you on the Internet.

You see that right there?

Now, what kind of low -life freak would trade their privacy for $500?

Please, come in.

What do you want?

I think you should know that I'm late.

Late? You ain't late. I didn't even invite you over.

I know you're not going to deny what happened the other day. What happened?

I'm pregnant and you did Eddie.

late does not mean you're pregnant. I gotta be in biology.

And I gotta be in baby.

I know my body.

Well, then how do you know it's mine?

Because I don't dance around.

Can we continue this conversation another time?

I'm on punishment. I'm not supposed to have any company.

Uh -huh.

But whatever you do, don't ignore me. Because I'm not. My bad. I mean, we're

not. You don't win anywhere.

Your little girlie seems upset.

What you do to her?

She's all mad because she thinks I got her pregnant.

When this happen?

Right here the other day in the family.

and all of a sudden, it happened.

I never knew you could get pregnant with your clothes on.

With your clothes on?

Oh, yeah. Miles, you might even have twins, man.

Yeah, Uncle D money.

I think I like the sound of that. What up, Uncle D? Yeah.

D, man, this is serious. I know it is.

Do you have a job lined up, Miles? Children are very expensive.

You got to buy a formula.

You got to buy diapers.

You got to buy baby Fubu.

You're going to stand up, be a man, face your responsibilities. What do you

think? How?

Well, you can start by asking your father to turn Moe's room into a

Big Papa.

So, uh, what are you going to do about Hakeem?

I don't know, but I don't want to hurt him, Niecy.

Well,

I say string him along until you know if Q is serious.

That's just it.

Q was dead serious.

What makes you so sure?

Because he asked me to marry him.

What?

I'm sorry.

Oh, my God. Where did he pop your question?

Am I going to be the maid of honor?

What did your daddy say?

You know, I was going to tell him, but then he started going off about Q.

So I decided not to tell anybody yet.

Wait a minute. So nobody knows?

No.

Can you trust me with your secret?

Oh, girl, we really are friends again.

I love you, Mo. I love you, too.

Oh, my God.

Oh, girl, I got popcorn all in your hair.

But am I saying things or did you get your tongue pierced?

It must be good.

Yo, King.

Yo, X in my neck's about to get they freak on.

Yeah, right.

Dang.

Man, I can't believe this. Man, let me see your phone. Why? So I can call Mo

let her know what's going on. Well, if you wait a minute, we'll see what's

on.

It's crazy, really crazy, man.

Hold it, hold it.

Joaquin, what are you talking about? Look, Mo, I don't know what's going on,

I'm down here at the Pendulum watching you on a computer screen.

Yeah, right.

Joaquin, what's all that noise?

Look, that's your fan club.

Look.

Niecy just took my shirt off, right?

Oh, my God.

Niecy. Niecy, you're on TV.

Jerome, do you want a piece of what Alicia's going to get?

If it's anything like Nisha was about to get, yeah.

You know, let me set you straight, okay? And I do mean straight.

We're not like that. That's right.

Now, Hakeem, can you pull up that website, man? I really need to look at

Okay. Naughty cow, you co -ed. Coming right up.

Click on that door. All right.

It says password required.

Well, how do we get a password?

Well, you need a membership, and the membership is $19 .95 a month.

Oh, just type in Romy Dash Love.

So I'm a freak.

Okay.

There, we're in.

That's our bedroom. How did she get a camera in there? Mo, you still don't

she did this?

Wait, wait, wait. There's Alicia.

Follow her into the room.

There's no access to her.

That's all the proof I need.

Well, we know where she is.

Let's go beat her down. Beat down a hill in time. What we want is long -term

psychological damage.

Hey, but if you change your mind and beat her down, could y 'all do that in

pudding?

over your jealousy long enough to appreciate something you'll never have.

Smoke, smoke, smoke.

So, Alicia, what guy's gonna get lucky?

Oh, I mean, who's a lucky guy?

Stanley, Randy, I don't know. I'm sure the name will come to me when I get to

the restaurant.

All I know is he's rich and fine.

Well, uh, what time is he picking you up? Oh, and have him know where I live?

Oh, please.

He's lucky I'm letting him pay for dinner and the movie. My address is much

information than he needs.

All right, girl, well, you go ahead and have a good time, because tonight it's

all about you.

Good learning.

Oh,

you, Mama.

Go, Max.

Stand her. Hey, stand her.

Close the slit.

It's about time.

I was running out of drawers to go through.

Dang, Niecy, how many thongs does a sister need?

Boy, you cannot be going through people's personal stuff. That's wrong.

Now get in here and pick this girl's lot so we can get in her room.

I need a credit card.

Uh, uh, okay. Uh, right there.

The 89th store.

They have a credit card?

Look, that lot doesn't care why I shop, okay?

Yeah, apparently you don't either, Niecy.

Hey.

Y 'all really need to change our locks around here.

Really?

Yeah, really.

Dang, where'd you learn how to do that?

Boot camp.

But there, we were breaking out.

Dang, she wore a wig when she was a baby, too?

Homegirl has problems.

Okay. It must be at least 20 pictures of her in here.

Oh.

The pictures are one thing, but she autographed them to herself.

To Alicia.

You go, girl. Love, Alicia.

All right, y 'all. Come on, let's get to work.

Hey, son.

Hey, Dad.

Oh. I see you have an interest in current events, huh?

No, I'm just looking for a job.

Miles, you just started back to school.

You looking for a job now?

Yeah, I got to support my family.

Well, I appreciate that, son, but Brother Saturn is doing just fine.

Not this family.

I got you when you wasn't pregnant, you're going to be a granddaddy.

What did you just say?

I got Sabrina Wilson pregnant.

What?

I mean, you?

How?

Well, the other day, Sabrina and I were slow dancing and she was holding

me pretty close and something happened and... Now she's late and we're

Is that all?

Isn't that enough?

Son, you had me worried there for a minute.

I'm glad you're taking it like this.

I thought I was going to have to enlist.

No, I don't think you have to worry about that because she's not pregnant.

How do you know?

Well, because it's a little more involved than that. Well, Sabrina knows

body.

Yeah, but evidently she doesn't know how a baby is made.

You see, Miles, it takes an intimate contact before a woman gets pregnant.

Well, actually, Miles, you see, a woman and a man... Dad, are we going to have

that talk again?

Were you listening the last time?

I was kind of embarrassed.

Mm -hmm.

I think you better pay attention this time.

All right.

As a matter of fact...

I think I better call Sabrina's parents.

It sounds to me like she needs to talk just as bad as you do.

Oh, you might want to talk to Dorian, too.

He thought we were going to have twins.

Thank you for calling me yesterday. That was good looking out.

Oh, yeah, Mo. That's what friends are for.

Yeah.

Oh, no, no. I got it. I got it. All right?

Keep that.

Got you a little something -something.

Hakeem, I can't.

All right, I really don't want to hurt your feelings, but I can't accept this.

It wouldn't be right.

Why not?

Because of what happened between me and EZ?

No, I'm over that.

It's because I'm with Q now.

Look, Hakeem, you know that we'll always be friends.

Yeah, friends, huh? Yeah, is that why you haven't been wearing my ring?

About that ring. Look, Mo, just keep that.

You accept this last gift from a friend.

Please?

It's empty.

That's because your gift is in here, Ma.

And you'll always have it.

Oh, Hakeem, that's the sweetest gift I've gotten.

Really? Yeah.

Sweeter than those damn rocks?

I'm just kidding.

I'm glad I didn't take the tags off this bad boy because this is going right

back.

I'm so sick of men.

I should have stayed here with you.

You always listen to me and you never get bored.

Well, that's because you are bored.

Get it? The cardboard.

Oh, Chef, don't get mad. You know I'm just playing, baby.

What was that?

Oh, well, let me show you what my mama gave me, baby.

Rachel would share.

Again.

Lizzie McGuire, today at 5 .30 Eastern.