Original subtitles

Time to get your laugh on with Moesha.

Sometimes life is like a baseball game. You never know what's coming your way.

Sometimes it's a fastball.

Other times, life throws you a curve.

But when you know you're on top of your game, no matter what life throws your

way, you know you're gonna hit it out of the ballpark.

You're going to be down. Come on.

Hopefully chipper this morning. Oh, you'd be too if you were about to be

valedictorian. Oh, now, see, see, that award could have been mine if I had just

paid attention, done my homework, and showed up to class.

Well, I worked hard, but there's no guarantees. You know, I'm just honored

in the running with my equally capable colleagues.

Ooh, sounds to me like you've already written your acceptance speech.

Just the first draft.

Now, that's the Mitchell spirit.

Frank, the results aren't even in yet. Now, let's keep this in perspective.

Right.

Hey,

Miles, what are you doing with those sheets?

Minding my business.

Miles. Hey, I was doing my laundry.

Well, I wonder if the little rug rat does windows.

I don't know. It's time to do a squeegee and find out.

Well, you guys have a good day now. Okay. And good luck, baby. Thank you.

Mo, don't forget to mention me in your acceptance speech.

Dang, I know I forgot someone.

Frank.

That's the third time this week that Miles has washed his sheets.

Oh, well, I talked to him about cleaning his room. Looks like it worked.

Honey, I think it's deeper than that.

Oh, Dee, you don't think he's wet in the bed again, do you?

No.

Deeper.

Oh.

Well, uh, I guess Miles and I should talk.

Mm -hmm.

Talk about what?

Well, I'll just leave you two alone.

Uh, Miles... Dad, I didn't do it, I swear. I don't know how that spatula got

stuck in the VCR.

I do.

But that's not what I want to talk to you about. Have a seat.

Okay.

Why have you been washing your sheets so much?

Oh, well, you know what they say.

Cleanliness is next to godliness.

I see.

Um, Miles... Have your dreams been

different lately?

Well, kind of.

Um... Are you experiencing nocturnal emissions?

Come again?

Are you having wet dreams, son?

Yeah, I guess.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Miles, don't be embarrassed.

It's natural.

So you've dreamt about Tatiana Ali, too?

No, no, no.

Lola Falana.

Anyway.

Son, wet dreams can be very awkward.

You're telling me.

Why didn't we have this little talk earlier?

Maybe I would have had some time to prepare.

Oh, well, I knew that we'd get here when we got here.

Well, we're here.

So, the bottom line is, don't be embarrassed.

There's nothing to be ashamed of.

That's right.

That's right. It's natural.

It's just all a part of becoming a man.

All a part of becoming a man? Uh -huh.

Cool.

So, who do I have to dream about to go chest hair?

Well, what are you doing?

Oh, I'm making a few notes. I have to interview the class valedictorian for

school newspaper.

Oh, really?

Well, what are you going to ask yourself?

Yeah, how are you going to take a picture of yourself?

Look at Lacey and Phillip.

They think they are so smart.

Girl, they are smart. They kept me on my toes.

Yep, and now you get to cut them off at the knees.

Nice soup, Mrs. Mitch, y 'all.

Yo, Kim, Kim, she can't hear you. So, can't a person put a positive thought

into the universe?

Don't turn up the volume. Here comes my announcement.

Oh, my God.

Good morning, students.

Well, here's the moment you've all been waiting for.

Well, some of you.

The valedictorian of the Crenshaw graduating class of 1999 is...

Jason Hale. Yay, Mom!

Congratulations, Jason.

That's not you.

with a curl bag and the rubber gloves and then... You got somebody smarter

Moe.

Jathan Hill. I never heard of Jathan Hill. Where did he come from?

Girl, I don't know, but that sounds like a good opening for your interview.

Where did he go?

Hi,

Jason.

I'm Moesha Mitchell. How you doing? Yeah, I know.

We've had some honors courses together.

Oh, sorry about that.

It's cool.

I just, um, came over to say congratulations.

Yeah, thanks.

So, uh, when can we get together?

What are you, a valedictorian groupie or something?

No, no.

I'm on the school newspaper, and I have to do a story on the winner.

Oh, yeah, well, um, I'm kind of busy.

No, it won't take that long, I promise. Just a few basic run -of -the -mill

journalistic questions, that's all.

All right.

Shoot. Now?

Delay not till tomorrow to be wise, William Congreve.

We'll never do today what you can put off till tomorrow, Aaron Burr.

It's now or never, Jason Hill.

Whatever, Moesha Mitchell.

So, uh, what universities are you considering?

Oh, well, you know, I've gotten offers from a few colleges back east. Oh,

really? Which ones?

Harvard, Yale, MIT.

All those.

Oh, well, I bet your parents are proud of you.

They're dead.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You know, listen, I got a lot of work to do, so good luck with your story.

Wait a minute, I don't have enough to do an article.

Sure you do. Just be creative like you were on that tutoring story.

Not enough.

But you know what? If he doesn't talk to me, somebody at his house will.

Hey, Kim, you work in the office.

Can you pull this file for me? I can't do that. It's wrong. It's unethical.

Just buy dollars. It's in your locker by the end of the day.

Hey, y 'all. Hey.

So, uh, how did your interview with Jason's family go? It didn't. Kim, I

refund because that information you gave me on Jason was bogus. Girl, please.

My info's never bogus.

I'm telling you, that address was no good unless he changed his name to

Maybe he's in a witness protection program.

No, no, no, think about it. Nobody knows where he lives, and he refuses to

answer questions, and he works in the school cafeteria.

This one's for the X -Files.

You know, you were so close to making sense.

So close.

Luzma, why don't you just go by his job? I heard he works at Krispy Kreme

Donuts. Well, that's a good idea. I'm going to go by there after work. Yo,

before you sweat them, can we get some free donuts?

Have you seen my...

Bo, what are you doing with your church clothes on?

Dad, did you know IBM split two for one?

Since when did you get interested in stocks?

Well, since I became a man.

What happened to your face, Miles?

Oh, nicked myself while I was shaving.

You ought to stop letting Dee use our razor.

Coffee? A little French roast.

Want some?

Excuse me.

Hello.

Oh, hey, Sammy.

Thanks for the invite.

Looks like I'm gonna have to pass.

Bye.

Kids.

What was that all about?

Oh, Sammy's trying to get me to go to his little laser tag party.

But, son, I thought you loved laser tag.

Well, when I became a man, I put aside all childish things.

Miles.

Son, it's gonna take a lot more than a tie, suspenders, and some coffee to make

you a man.

No, Dad.

You're right.

I need a woman. No.

Son, the biggest part about being a man is being responsible.

Well, how do I become responsible?

Well, you can start by getting yourself a job.

Where? At Brother Saturn. You can start tonight.

I've got a job?

Hey, this man's stuff is pretty cool.

So, when do we hire my secretary?

I think you were fouled. You want to try that again?

I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.

Ooh, that donut looks really good.

It is.

You're not going to ask me for any, are you?

Because glaze are my favorite.

Oh, well, you know what?

My favorite snack is sweet potato pie, and I don't like to share mine either.

You out here by yourself?

Where are your parents?

They're in heaven.

Looks like you're moving.

No, we usually park in one place.

Unless somebody hassles us.

Hey, man, do you live in this car?

Hey, get away from my sister.

Jason.

Jason, what's going on? No, I'm asking the questions. What are you doing here?

I'm looking for you.

Moisa. Despite what I've heard about you, I mean, I'm sure you're a nice

I'm gonna have to ask you to stay out of this. I mean, just... Look, pretend you

never saw us here. I can't do that, Jason. Not to you or to her.

Yes, you can.

I mean, you can and you will.

Don't be mean to her, Jason.

I think she's nice.

Listen, I... Look, I appreciate your concern. I mean, I really do.

But in case you haven't noticed her... Ashley and I, we're doing just fine.

No, what I've noticed is that you're living in a car, Jason.

Look, it may not look good, but we're making it.

And once I turn 18, I'll be able to take care of her better.

But if I ask for help now, we might get separated, and I can't let that happen.

And all we have is each other.

So please, don't tell anybody about this.

Would you at least let her come to my house so she can have a home -cooked

and a hot bath?

Ashley, come on. Stay out of this.

I can't let her go for a sleepover at the vice principal's house.

Look, all I have to do is tell Dee that I'm babysitting for you until you get

off.

That'll work, Jason.

Please. And you think she'll believe that?

What's not to believe?

I don't know.

It's just too risky, Ash.

She won't tell, right?

I promise.

All right, Ashley, get your coat.

And go on with what you said.

Ooh, finally, a blockbuster night.

Hey, honey. Hey.

Hi there. Hi.

Ooh, that's Miles' robe, but that's not Miles'. This is Jason Hell with his

sister Ashley. I'm babysitting for him. Oh, how nice of you.

Please have more broccoli. Oh, yes.

Oh, more broccoli. You are definitely not Miles.

Where are clothes?

Oh, well, she had a spill, so I decided to wash them.

Which reminds me, maybe I should put them in the dryer.

Ashley, you want to help? No, honey, let her finish her vegetables.

So, Ashley, how old are you?

I'm eight. How old are you?

So you're hanging out with Moesha tonight, huh?

Yeah, she's really cool.

And she's almost as smart as my brother.

Oh, yes, that Jason, he's pretty smart.

I bet your grandmother's really proud of him.

You know my grandma?

Oh, yes, she's a very charming lady.

Do you think she'll ever get better?

What's wrong with her?

Uh, nothing.

Well, honey, something must be wrong if you're worried about her getting better.

Ashley, if you talk to me, maybe I can help.

I wish somebody could, because I miss her.

Moesha, we need to talk.

But, Dee, I promised Jason that I wouldn't tell you about his situation.

You didn't. Ashley did.

Moesha, honey, I can't just turn my back and pretend this doesn't exist.

I'm obligated by law to do something.

I know, Dee, but he'll be 18 in a few months, and he'll legally be able to

for her.

But, sweetheart, I have to do something now.

That little girl needs a home. They both do.

See, Jason is afraid that they'll be separated, and all they have is each

Dee.

Moesha, I have a friend who works for social services. She'll know what to do.

I'll call her.

Can't we at least talk to Jason first?

Sure, I will talk to Jason, but I'm still going to make the call.

All right, fine, if that's the way it has to be.

But, dear, I sure hope Jason understands this.

Wow, being a man sure is hard.

No wonder you're always so cranky.

Oh, well, I wouldn't exactly call it cranky, but I'm glad you understand.

Hey, baby. Hey, honey.

Yeah, you know, son, when I told you this morning that you were a man, I

biologically. But physically and mentally, you got a ways to go.

Being a man isn't as easy as your father makes it look.

Mm -hmm. Who are you telling?

Even though part of me is a man, is it still okay for me to be a boy?

Son,

you have the rest of your life to be a man.

Enjoy being a kid while you can.

So does that mean I can go to Sammy's laser tech party tomorrow?

Of course you can, son.

Yes.

My boy.

Well, looks like I handled that situation.

Mm -hmm.

I hope you're ready for another one.

Honey, I just can't believe that something like this could happen at my

Honey, how do I let it get by me? Baby, don't beat yourself up about it. You

can't expect to be on top of every detail of every student's life.

Shoot, I can barely keep track of Moe, Miles, and Hakeem, and they live here.

Here comes Jason.

Hi, Jason. Finally, you're here.

Dang, was Ashley that much trouble?

Oh, Jason, you're so clever. No wonder you're valedictorian.

I'm Mrs. Mitchell. Hi, Jason. Oh, these are for you. Oh, thank you.

So, this is the young man who bested my daughter, huh?

Thank you, Daddy.

Congratulations, Jason.

Thank you. Have a seat. Oh, thanks, but, I mean, it's late. I better just get my

sister and go. You know, I don't want my grandmother to worry.

Jason, we already know about your grandmother being in the nursing home.

Jason, I'm sorry. I didn't... See, I knew this was a mistake. Not if you give

a chance to help you find a place to live, son.

Do you have any other relatives that you could stay with?

No.

Well, Jason, I've made a few calls, and I'm sure that we can find a good home,

one that'll take the both of you. Oh, and you make it sound so easy, and it's

not.

And I've done the research.

I mean, once you get put in the system, you get lost.

Some people never get out.

That's just the way it works.

So if you don't mind, where's Ashley?

She's in there.

Ooh, Dee.

That girl snores as loud as you.

Ashley.

Ashley, wake up. Come here.

Jason, please let her stay tonight.

This isn't going to work.

I mean, our lives are just too complicated.

And we hear you, son.

Look, why don't you and your sister just get a good night's sleep, huh?

In the morning, we'll start looking for a solution that we can all live with.

I don't know what to say.

Just say you're done.

Oh, by the way, um, is this neighborhood safe?

Because we got all our worldly possessions in the car.

Whenever I feel the urge to complain about what life throws my way, I hope

remember Jason.

He handled more adversity than I could ever imagine and still came out on top,

with a little help from Dee.

She was able to find a wonderful foster family at our church that will take care

of both Ashley and Jason.

Now, if I could just find another family for Miles.