Original subtitles

When Robert Frost rhapsodized about choosing the road less traveled, he

have hardly envisioned the speed trap that had become my life.

Q says he'll do anything for us to be together.

My daddy says he'll do anything to keep Q and me apart.

Thus the new and improved punishment for sneaking out, I can only leave the

house to go to school, church, and to pass out flags at my daddy's dealership.

With both Q and Daddy in my ear, it's like having two backseat drivers.

And I must have missed the danger men tripping a head sign.

back a chew, the back a spit. If I wouldn't have pledged Kappa, I wouldn't

pledged us.

And the hog, the man women love to dog.

Did nobody dog me? Big brother Afro pick.

It's the Smurler's holler.

Give him another lick.

Oh, it sure is good to see you, Newt. You too, man. My man, baby.

Look at you.

Moesha.

Dave Norris, my frat brother from Southern. Hey, Moesha.

Girl, you're even prettier than those pictures in your father's wallet. Oh,

thank you.

Daddy, I thought you weren't coming home till later tonight. Well, I'm sure you

did, baby, but it's not your job to know my schedule. It's my job to know yours.

All right.

Now, where have you been?

The library. I had to check out a book. Mm -mm. Show me a date stamp.

Danny. Mo.

All right, then.

I'm telling you.

My brother, my brother.

Why so hard on the girl?

Oh, shoot, man. If you were raising a girl in a woman's body, you'd

I spent half my time chasing away these knuckleheads.

You got to be easy. You raise the knuckleheads.

No, please.

When boys, you have to ride their backs and then worry about the big

heartbreaker. Oh, I know drugs and gangs.

Worse, your oldest son telling you he doesn't want to be a Kappa man.

I'm so sorry, man.

Wait a minute. Don't tell me he wants to pledge Omega.

Aw, man, I didn't raise no dogs. All right, yeah.

Man, I just don't understand the boy. He doesn't eat meat. He doesn't like

sports. He doesn't even want to go to his own prom.

You know, I just want the boy to have some fun before he leaves to go to

Harvard. Harvard?

Yeah. Shoot, that sounds like the kind of boy my daughter needs to be, Dave.

Hey, wait a minute.

You think your boy wouldn't invite Moe to his prom?

I don't know. It's kind of short notice.

It's Saturday.

You think she'd be interested? Oh, I'll tell her she's interested.

You think your boy would be interested? Oh, I'll tell him he's interested. Well,

then it's settled.

Man, I better get up out of here before my wife realizes the conclave was only

two days.

Coming on out, man. All right, Newt. All right, baby. Yeah, baby.

Kappa!

Step!

I'm pretty on the left. I'm pretty on the right.

I'm so, so pretty, I can't sleep at night. I'm pretty on the left. I'm

the right. I'm so, so pretty, I can't sleep at night. Got my pretty on the

I'm pretty on the right. I'm so, so pretty, I can't sleep at night. Right.

Man, you better quit before you need that cane.

How you doing, baby?

Oh, Dee, you'll never guess who I ran into in Las Vegas.

Latoya.

Charles. Oh, Elvis.

No, no, no, no, no.

Dave Norris, my old college roommate.

It turns out he's been living in Los Angeles for three years, Dee. And guess

what else? He taught you that silly step.

No. Dave's son is going to take Mo to his prom.

Dave and I just set it up.

And Moesha went for it?

Maybe Moesha doesn't even know about it yet.

Oh, what doesn't Moesha know?

Go ahead, Frank. Tell her the good news.

Pumpkin, I got you a date with Frazier Norris, a Harvard -bound son of a

He's taking you to his prom next Saturday.

Well, too bad I'm on punishment forever.

Uh -uh, no, you're not, baby.

Because I'm giving you a prom date furlough.

Frank, you can't manipulate Moesha like that.

Yeah, yeah, you're right, baby. I need to sweeten the pot. I'll throw in a

dress. Hello.

I'm still here.

Just like I will be. It's on Saturday. I'm not going down there. Oh, no, no,

no, no. Moe, Moe, Moe, Moe. Did I say furlough? A total pardon.

Moe, if you do this, you're off punishment.

So let me get this straight, Governor Mitchell.

If I go, I have a clean record?

Squeaky. And the shackles come off now?

Absolutely. All right, I'll see y 'all two later.

Where are you going?

Not to the library.

How did you do it this time?

I promised to go to prom with my dad's friend's son.

Dang, not only did you get off punishment, but you got a date, too?

A little cue's coming. All right, everybody left, especially you. Girl,

saying nothing. My mind is a blank.

So, Shirley, you out on bail?

Oh, is that your way of saying that you miss me? No, this is.

Me and you at the rap jam next Saturday.

Well, your player thought you said you was taking me.

My baby's back now.

You're out.

All of Q, man. You can't just ask your brother out and then dump him.

Uh, do y 'all need a moment alone?

Yeah. No.

Look, baby, it's all right. Maybe you should take our king because we still

can't be singing together.

They ain't never stopped us before.

Q, I can't go to the concert with you on Saturday because I just got off

punishment. Maybe we should wait a few days. Say, until, like, Sunday.

Say, your pops, you going to Kim's?

Uh, no. We fumigate on Saturday.

Me too.

Uh -uh.

Grandma's wrestling that night.

I can't take this. We need to talk to your pops.

Been there, done that. He's not trying to hear about us.

I can't believe you're letting your pops control you like this.

Oh, like you're trying to do right now?

All right, Sunday.

Can I hold my chicken now, then?

What were you guys up there creating?

Prom date of Frankenstein.

Frank, a woman has to make an entrance.

And that's her cue.

Better not be.

Mr.

Mitchell? Yes?

Frazier Norris.

You going to invite him in, Frank? Yes, of course.

Come on in, Frazier.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Frazier, this is my wife, Dee, and my son, Miles.

Nice to meet all of you.

What's with the funny -looking ear?

Hey, man, what's with the funny -looking ears?

Now, remember, you started it, Miles.

Yeah, I'm sure his funny -looking gear is quite fashionable.

Well, I hope not. I try very hard not to be a slave to fashion.

Are you a free man tonight?

Uh, have a seat, son.

So, uh, Frazier, there's this nasty little rumor going around that you don't

want to be a Kappa man.

You see, I'm not interested in perpetuating a tradition that encourages

men to think like a herd.

Well, Kappa's not for everybody, is it?

Oh.

Frazier?

Hi, Marisha.

Daddy, should I go change? No, no, no, no, you look great.

Uh, look.

My mom told me I should get you a corsage.

Thank you.

What exactly is it?

It's crepe paper.

I don't believe in killing flowers.

So you murdered a tree.

Well, come on, Dee. Let's take a picture. Of what?

The happy couple.

Oh.

All right, then.

Uh, Frazier, why don't you stand up there right next to, uh, Moesha?

Okay. Here you go. A little bit closer now.

Smile now.

Well, we should get going.

Oh, the limo must be behind the taxi.

No.

Um, that's all right. Just think of it as a, uh, limo with a meter.

I thought you said his daddy had loose. Uh, you have a good time, baby.

Bye -bye.

Well, uh, don't they make a lovely couple?

Mo looked lovely.

Yeah, my homeboy looks like a bum.

No, no, I'll get it, son.

Yeah. Hello, Mr. Mitchell.

Hey, Q, what's the steal up? Miles.

I'll handle this, son.

What do you want?

Mr. Mitchell, I'm here to talk to you about me and Moesha.

Quentin, there is no you and Moesha.

That's why I'm here, to see if you can try to do this again. Yeah, well, try

this. Leave.

I can't do that.

Not till I understand why you have a beef with me. Ron, I don't have a beef

you.

Look, I know the dinner didn't quite work. Mm -hmm, it was a disaster.

I'm sorry about the Bombay incident. Oh, yeah, the riot? A bigger disaster.

And the only reason I went to Moe's bedroom was... I think it's time for you

leave, son.

Mr. Mitchell, I really care about your daughter.

I'm trying to come to you correct.

Yeah, well, you should have done that before you chased her behind my back.

Come on, Mr. Mitchell, can you at least get Mo so we can talk?

Quentin, Moesha is not here.

She went on a date.

So I guess we really don't have much to talk about, do we?

Good night.

Hey,

little man, what you doing out here?

Sure, I'm going to help my brother out.

with your friends?

Sure. But they're all at the Sean and Martha concert.

Oh, well, that sounds obscure.

You want to write on the memory wall?

Nah.

You want to dance?

Nah.

Don't you ever say anything other than now?

Yep.

You know, a chance to have fun isn't just going to hang around waiting for

to realize that it's arrived.

Look, I'm considered listening to some corny lounge act playing 70s retread in

room full of overdressed teenagers.

Fun. And, uh, by the way, disco sucks.

Well, no wonder you couldn't get a date. I didn't want one. Oh, well, then why

am I stuck here?

Because my dad begged me to take out his frat brother's troubled daughter.

Excuse me?

I'm only here because my daddy said I can get out punishment if I go out with

his frat brother to lose his life. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Just because I'm a non

-conformist does not mean I'm a loser.

And just because I'm independent doesn't mean I'm troubled. And I'm sure you

independently thought to wear all those conforming designer labels.

And what's wrong with dressing up and having a good time?

Because I can't. I just... Can't get with people paying too much money for

clothes they would never dare be seen in again when there are children starving

all over the world.

So if these people bought cheap clothes and wore them every day, these kids

wouldn't be hungry.

No, I understand your point perfectly.

I mean, just because I enjoyed the food of my daddy's labor doesn't mean I don't

know I'm blessed.

And I'm sure you're donating your twice -worn Gucci's to the goodwill. It really

helps your fellow man.

And so does my volunteer work at the library, mission, and senior citizen

center. And I can do all that wearing my big star jeans, Mecca t -shirt, and

Kenneth Cole loafers.

Okay. I guess my commitment is more on a global scale.

That's right. Saving the rainforest.

I haven't seen many of those in Ladera. What about your own community?

The world is my community.

You always have to have the last word, don't you?

Oh, I don't. There you go again.

Well, if we finally found something, you have a compliment.

Oh, God.

Let's go.

Go? Kim, what are you doing here?

Look, I talked to your pops. Let's bounce. Wait a minute, you did what?

Hi, I'm Frazier North.

Yeah, Frisbee, whatever.

Can we get some privacy?

Frazier, excuse us.

Are you trying to play me, shorty? Can we talk about this later?

What's wrong, am I embarrassing you? No, you're embarrassing yourself. This

crime is formal.

Well, you should tell your boyfriend that.

Q, he is not my boyfriend. It's not even what you think.

Oh, so you're not out with some buster behind my back? No, and would you be

quiet? I'll explain everything later. No, you'll explain everything now.

times do I have to tell you? I went out with Frazier for us.

Well, let me let you know what I did for us. I came over here tonight and punked

myself, begging your pops to let us be together, and now I found out you lied

me. I didn't lie to you, Q. I told you. I couldn't go to the concert on

Saturday. That was the truth. No, the truth is, I'm not good enough for your

daddy. So you found somebody else he could be down with. Is that what you

Well, that's what I know.

You know what, Q?

You tell me to sneak out, so I do.

My father tells me if I go out with Frazier, I can get off punishment, so I

You pull one string, he pulls another one.

You know what? I'm tired of this game.

I'm through being everybody's puppet.

So what are you saying?

I'm saying I don't want to do this anymore.

How was your day, baby?

Well, I hope you're happy, Frank. Well, how could I be, Dee? My baby girl is in

pain.

But it's over with Quentin.

You know, you're right.

Thanks for helping me to see the bright side.

Maybe Q's always been a jealous, suspicious, controlling moron.

And I was too much in love to see it.

Maybe he never liked me for me.

Maybe he just enjoyed making my daddy trip.

Moesha, you have company.

Hi, Mo. What's up?

You, uh, forgot your, uh, thing.

Thank you.

No problem.

Can I talk to Frazier alone, please?

Oh, yeah, yeah, sure.

Miles. Frazier, I'm really sorry for leaving out like that, but my

I mean, my ex -boyfriend... Ex?

Yeah.

I guess we broke up tonight.

Look.

As a troubled teen once told me, opportunities don't wait for you to

they've arrived.

Moesha, can I take you out on a real date?

Are you sure I won't embarrass you with my designer labels?

We'll work on your look later.

First, we gonna work on yours.

What do you have in the way of lobster?

Bring me the biggest one. That's a dinner duel.

Whoever orders the most food always wants to split the check. That's better.

Tonight at 12 .30 Eastern on Superstation WGN.