Original subtitles

A car is an extension of how we see ourselves and what we hope to become.

A car, any car, is also way flicker than riding a bus.

So after turning down a Saturn because it wasn't a Jeep, I came to my senses.

I pulled my mega funds and bought some basic transportation. Mom, I want to

some music. Can you turn on the radio?

Here, girl. Do it yourself.

Dang.

It may not be pretty, but it gets me where I want to go.

Moesha. Moesha.

Moesha.

Moesha.

You cannot have another cookie, a glass of water, or another story.

No, it's me.

I just want y 'all to know y 'all can stop worrying because I'm home now.

What is it, Mo? Nisa needs a ride home.

Well, then take her.

Daddy.

What? I can't take her because I don't have my car.

I mean, I ran out of money plus out of gas. That's why I'm late. Okay, okay.

Take my car. Good night.

Daddy.

Daddy.

Oh, hi, Heidi.

What is it now, Moesha? Please tell my daddy.

Did I interrupt something?

What is it, Moe? I need my dad to go with me to Crenshaw because my car is

parked in front of a bus stop.

Well, then have an easy drive. I can't. He said I can only drive the car. It's

okay, Dee. All right, all right.

I'll be right down, Moe. Thank you, Daddy.

You sure you want another one of those?

We need to talk about last night, baby. Hey, what you do behind closed doors is

your business.

It's what happened on Crenshaw Boulevard last night that we're upset about.

Mo, that is the third time that you have run out of gas since you got that car.

Actually, it's the fourth. Last week, she jacked me for a five spot.

You keep talking, you just be a spot.

Mo.

How come you never have money for gas, baby? Now, I put $50 behind your license

for emergencies.

I wonder what that was for.

Now, don't play with me. Now, you know that money was for emergencies.

That's what I used it for.

I mean, I thought this party was casual, casual.

Then Kim called and said it was dressy casual.

Hence, an emergency.

I think we need to define emergency.

Please do, because the sister is confused.

Want me to go get the belt of knowledge?

Miles. The point is, is that $50 may have covered an emergency in 1935 when y

'all were young.

But in 1996, all it covers is a cab ride home. So what are we going to do?

Miles. I'm way ahead of you, Dad.

It's so... Not gonna happen.

Morning, Flintstones. Hey, man.

How's it going? Could you please tell my daddy that everybody in school has a

credit card now? Oh, yeah, yeah. Let me see which one I got on me today.

Let me check it out. See, I got my library card.

Yeah, got my prepaid Jodeci phone card.

Ooh, got my get -out -of -jail -free card.

What do you know? No credit card. Must have left home without it.

Look, ignore Quasidodo over here. What I'm saying is... No, no. But, Daddy. No.

Wait a minute. Did you know that most places don't even take cash anymore?

No. That's why I need a credit card. Mm -hmm. I mean, don't you want the peace

of mind of knowing that your one and only daughter is protected?

She does have a point. I mean, that car isn't exactly in mint condition.

Excuse me.

Need I remind you that I already bought her a brand new car with a functioning

gas gauge and roadside service, and she turned me down. Daddy, I was young. I

didn't know.

What I'm saying is, I swear on a stack of Bibles I have changed.

If you would offer me that car right now, I would take it.

Daddy, please, I need a credit card. Look, Mo, I... Please, Frank, if not for

her, then do it for us.

All right, all right. I'll get your credit card.

Thank you, Teddy.

Thank you, Gene.

Yeah, but it's only going to be for emergencies. Now, you do know what that

means. I sure do. Emergency is a noun. An unexpected situation that requires

prompt action does not involve the purchase of clothes.

Remember that. I'm dope pumped.

He must go to the dead, baby. And it's on me.

Just kidding.

Hit the back, Holmes.

Yeah, come on, Kimmy.

Yeah, I'm cool.

I just walked to the party.

All the way to Beverly Hills. To China if I have to.

With those brand new sneakers, you'd be barefoot by the time you hit Figueroa.

And butt naked by the time you hit Weston.

Scoot over, Kim, and don't try nothing.

Oh, I'm not going to try nothing. I'm going to try something.

Kim, will you leave that boy alone?

in reverse with me. I just got my nails done.

How you gonna buy a car with a stick if you can't even drive it?

Now, what does that have to do with that, you know?

Stop,

all right?

I'll drive.

My daddy said I can't let nobody drive my car.

So you do everything your daddy tells you to do?

Okay, good Twitter.

Kim want to switch places with you.

Oh, we have Beverly Hills, y 'all.

Let's go to the Krampus house.

Kim, could you please act like you've been here before?

Exactly who am I trying to fool, Mom?

Sam.

Everybody be cool.

Be cool? I can't be the first one in my family to go to jail. Oh, now who's

fooling who?

Now, JoJo is my place. Well, everybody just relax, all right? That's right,

Beverly Hills. If you're important, they ain't gonna message you. Be cool.

Might think I'm too popular.

And they're supposed to keep us out of jail.

They can call your girl, kid. She's not my girl.

Be quiet.

Remember,

I'll do the talking.

Your license and registration, please.

Why did you stop us?

Beg your pardon? I mean, don't you have black people in Beverly Hills?

Oh, yeah, sure we do. They just don't drive around four deep in a 1979 primer

gray Volkswagen thing with faulty brake lights. Hey, do you know Axel Fowler?

Shut up.

Your license and registration, please.

Why are you harassing us? I mean, shouldn't you be arresting Robert Downey

again?

How do you want to do this?

Ronnie King or Martin Luther King?

You know, I was going to let you go until homegirl here mouthed off.

Mr. Shakur.

Got a jaywalking ticket. That's $27 .50. Oh, no problem. That's gone to Warren.

It's now $375.

The cross on the street?

It was Rodeo Drive, miss.

All right, all right. We'll just pull our money together. I think I got $22

some change. How much do you have, Hakeem? Man, all I got is a stick of gum

a picture of my mama.

So how were you going to put in on the gas? If I had money, Mo, I would have

rode with Freddy.

You ain't right.

Kim.

Darn. All I have is a five. thousand dollar bill you think mr drowsdale got

changed what are we gonna do y 'all we can't just leave that boy here i got my

get out of jail free card that ain't gonna work you gotta roll doubles first

wish i had me a double right now this place takes credit cards let's charge it

and bounce i can't use my credit card you know i can only use it for

wait wait did q give you the address to the party before he got locked up no

then it's

Put a warrant.

Put a bell.

Thanks for looking out, kid.

Thank you.

This solves half of my problem. I still have to explain the bill to my daddy.

There you go again worrying. I told you, my man Donnie can do anything with a

computer. Except be me an NBA champ.

So what, is he some kind of hacker or something?

Best there is.

He's almost a boy.

Yeah, yeah, I mean, he hooked me up with an unlimited caller on my Jodeci phone

call. Whoa, that brings right up there with hacking the Pentagon.

Hey, hey, hey, Donnie.

You're supposed to fix my computer. Where you been, boy? Uh, cyberspace.

Well, that stop payment I placed on my check?

That's virtual reality.

Uh, it was.

I cashed that check two days ago. What?

Look, I'm looking you up this weekend. I promise, okay?

What up? What's up, man?

Hey,

this is Moesha. She got a little problem, and I'm just the one to fix it.

that?

There's an item on my desk, Critter.

Here you go.

Why y 'all so quiet?

We just chilling. You know how we do it.

Bye -bye.

Okay, about this credit card thing. I'm sure I can help you out. But you need a

charge erased off the bill or what? No, not exactly. See, I'm going to pay the

bill. I just don't want it to show up on my daddy's statement. Can you do

something like that?

Ask Mariah Carey.

Why? Now, I know you don't think she sold that many records.

So what, you want to do this or what?

I don't know. Suppose my daddy finds out. All right, then don't do it.

When he gets the bill, just tell him that the kid he don't want you hanging

with was driving a car he told you not to let nobody drive, got pulled over by

police, went to jail, had to bail him out with a credit card he told you only

use on emergencies. That's all.

Here's my address.

All right, cool. I'll be at your house tomorrow at 3. I just need a phone line,

a grounded outlet, and last month's bill.

And you do have a surge protector, right? A what?

Never mind.

I'll bring mine.

Everything's gonna work out, baby.

Everything's gonna work out.

See? There it is. Frank Mitchell, 888 -388 -4659.

Employed by Limerick Saturn.

Annual salary... Dang, Daddy makes that much?

He must have another family.

Judging by the car you drive, he could be front.

Talk about my car.

If you want me to, I can cross -reference that figure with the IRS

No, thanks. All I want you to do is remove this charge and that payment.

Done. That's it?

That's it.

Thank you.

Mo, maybe we should just take this up at another time, all right? Okay. Can I

give you a call?

I'd like that.

Bet you would.

Yeah,

well, uh, if I was Whitney, I'd make him get his teeth fixed.

Ray cannot talk. You can't even get your last boyfriend to brush his teeth.

You can't sit down here and make room for my man.

And take note, he's taught up free.

Lisa, Lisa, move over, move over.

Listen, listen.

Yo, Moe is in a you, me, me situation.

You're lying.

Moe would never do that to Q. Who's the other guy?

The hacker.

The hacker? Well, according to Miles, homeboy's doing more mapping than

The nine -year -old Bernie.

Man, yeah. You know what I'm saying? He said he caught him on the bed, hugged up

together.

And you believe that?

Look,

Danny's there right now, okay? He took care of Moe's credit card problem a week

ago.

Oh, forget, forget about it. Man, look, forget nothing.

Your homegirl is scant.

Let her go. No, no, no. Y 'all need to talk to her before Q finds out. Before Q

finds out what?

Getting better on her.

That ain't all Mo's hair.

Yeah, I mean, she got extensions, you know, man. But you didn't hear that from

us. So there's more around? What?

You mean around here, around town, or around the way around? What do you mean?

Oh,

I'm sorry. I'm just trying to help you get your little love connection.

She won't tell I was looking for her.

Bet. You know, if we see her, we'll tell her to call you.

Okay.

Do that.

Web surfing is all that. Why don't we go into one of these chat rooms?

Why don't we go up to your room?

And chat.

Donnie, you know what?

I really appreciate everything you've done with the credit card thing, but

do you think is going on here?

Just two compatible people seeking a higher level of self -expression.

You got mad drag, Donnie.

Yeah, too loud.

So? So come in.

Hi, Q.

Baby, what you doing here?

What's up, Donnie? What you doing?

Uh, you know what? We were doing that computer thing with the... Y 'all,

don't fight up in my house.

Hey, man, why don't you tell your boy to go back where he came from? Hey, won't

you make me? You know what? I got a better idea.

Why don't I make y 'all a sheet of brownies, a hot cup of cocoa, and we can

clear up this obvious... Let him step in and I'll clear it up myself. You know,

there will be no stepping going on here.

Uh, Dee, why don't you bring my briefcase out of the car, baby?

Except y 'all can step out of my house.

Y 'all gotta go. My parents are out of touch.

We could use a little help in the kitchen.

Great. I don't know what you're saying, but come on.

Today,

Mo.

Okay, I'm there.

No, no, no, no.

Yes, I understand, but somebody's going to have to tell me something.

What's wrong with Daddy? Oh, just a little discrepancy on our credit card

Uh -oh.

Oh, they're trying to make me pay twice for the same bad meal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's run it down. Uh, Mo, why don't you give me a pencil,

baby?

Mm -hmm. Oh, yeah, yeah, who knows what else you might have gotten wrong.

All right, let's go.

Mm -hmm. The suit barn, $99.

Uh -huh.

Radio hut, $2 ,308. Got it.

Beverly Hills Police Department, $375.

Beverly Hills Police Department.

The truth can make some things better and some things worse.

And I guess understanding that makes you a politician.

For instance, there are no ugly babies.

Well, of course, Miles exposed that for the lie it is.

Well, when Kim asked me if I thought Hakeem would ever love her, I mean, the

truthful answer is obvious.

But it's obviously not the one you get.

Which brings us to the credit card bill situation.

My dad refused to believe the police charge was his and threatened to bring

attorney in.

So I decided to tell the truth and accept my punishment.

The Q and Donnie situation, on the other hand, demands something more flexible

than the truth.

Whenever I figure out what that is and get my phone back, I call Q and tell