Original subtitles

As of this semester, Dee is the school newspaper advisor.

And as such, she has complete discretion over which student is selected for the

L .A. Times summer internship.

Even if I weren't her stepdaughter, I'd be a shoo -in.

Okay, maybe I do have a little competition from my locker partner,

other sophomore on the paper.

But you know, I'm not worried.

Because up until last month, I had the most articles published in the paper.

But somehow, that little ambulance pacer snuck up on me.

Dee has to make her selection soon.

You know, and I know she's not going to show favoritism, which could be a

problem. I've got to come up with something to make sure she picks me.

Something to seal the deal.

See you at home, Mom.

Oh,

it's not what you think, Daria. I have my fingers crossed.

B for D, okay?

Oh, all right, cool. No problem.

I got backup.

Hot pocket sandwich.

I just want to microwave those things.

Really?

I never tried them like that before, Hakeem. Why don't you break me off a

piece?

Oh, so you won't play like that, huh?

Okay. Well, I'm going to lick my whole refrigerator.

To cover Mr. Mitch?

It was the women and children I was worried about, huh?

Hey, so what's with the video camera, John Sibleton?

I took a video essay on my hero.

Oh, that's great, Miles. So who you gonna pick? Dr. King? Colin Powell?

Tupac?

I picked you, Dad.

Me?

Well, son, I'm honored.

What are you honored by, Frank?

Well, Miles picked me to be his hero in a classroom assignment.

You know what? If I had to choose, my heroin would be Deirdre Mitchell.

Why, thank you, Mo.

Oh, Dee, please have a seat. Your breakfast is ready.

My.

Here you go.

Ooh, caramelized pecan blueberry pancakes.

My favorite.

want to talk about it. I haven't made my decision yet. Well, what's to decide?

You know, there's only one way to go.

And what way would that be?

The family way.

That's nepotism, Mo.

So? The Wayans don't seem to have a problem with it?

You know, the Kennedys are all covered for themselves, and everybody in the

Jackson family is living lost. Yep. Even Tito Key is getting paid.

Because you are, family, I'm going to give you a little insight. I will

go with the student who does the most interesting, hard -hitting,

journalistically sound story.

And what do you call my expose on cafeteria food?

A waste of paper.

Anyway, Mo, go out and find an edgy story, and you'll make the decision for

Okay. How about a three -part series on stepmothers who discriminate against

their stepdaughters?

Come on, Hakeem.

Oh, no.

So we still cool, right, Mrs. Mitch?

Frank,

don't look at me that way. What am I supposed to do? I can't just give her

internship because we're family, and I don't care how many Wayans get their own

TV show. She has got to earn it. And don't you dare say that I am being

on her just because she is my stepdaughter. And yes... I do expect

her, but that is because she is so bright and has so much potential. I

just as I would with any of my bright students. I don't want to hear another

word about it. That is it. Case closed. End of story. Good day.

And cut.

Dad, D was great.

But you're a tad flat.

Next time, fluff in your lines.

He's getting ready to flunk a stoop.

I didn't know Mr. Johnston was cockeyed.

That's right, and I'll be seeing you at summer school.

People, we need to focus here. You know, if I don't come up with a great story

quick, I might as well kiss that internship goodbye.

Hey, guys.

Hey. Oh, thanks for that tip, Hakeem. Yeah, no problem.

What tip, Hakeem?

Oh, it was nothing, really.

Nothing? Because of you, I now have the biggest story of my career.

Is that so?

Hakeem, what is she talking about? Please share.

I mean, I just saw some weird dust in the guy's bathroom.

That's right, and I have my cousin who's a contractor. Check it out. He found it

was asbestos.

Asbestos. Oh, that's a cute little human interest story.

It was until I called the EPA, and now there's going to be a state

investigation.

Are you writing this article for the school paper or Newsweek?

One day.

Patricia, I've been meaning to tell you I really liked your cafeteria story.

It was well written and very insightful.

As a result of your article, I'll bring my lunch to school every day.

Thank you, Gabriella.

No, thank you.

Well, I gotta go prepare for my phone interview with the governor.

Thanks again, Hakeem.

Anytime.

Hakeem, why didn't you give me that tip?

I didn't mean to give her no tip.

Shoot, I was trying to get my neck on. What?

Speaking of Max, Ohaji just slithered in, Mo. Who cares? I'm through with him.

It's finished, done, over.

Uh -oh. He walking over to Gabriella's table.

They smiling.

They hugging.

They... Houston, we have full left contact.

I just had a freaky thought.

What's new about that?

For real though, Mo, Ohaji goes with Gabriella. and she's your locker

right? Right. He touches her and her books touch your books.

So what, Kim?

Don't you get it? It's like he's touching the both of y 'all.

Ugh, that's too freaking easy to think about.

What's up, newbies?

Hi, oh, hi, G.

What's the word, player?

Oh, I can't call it. All right.

Well, check it out, y 'all. Another one of my monthly jams is coming up soon,

and you're all invited, even you, Mo.

Monthly jams? Yeah, you know, an afternoon set for the too -cool -for

crowd.

Yeah.

What's so cool about that?

Well, you know what they say. If you have to ask... Anyway, uh... Be sure to

check your activity board for the party coordinates, all right?

Keep it real, Black. Yeah, you know the play.

Well, you two are awfully chummy, Hakeem.

Well, brother's got to keep it strong in the eight dozen.

You know what I'm saying? No, Brad, you don't know... I know what you're saying.

I know y 'all not planning on going to this party, are you?

Not me.

I don't like to party.

You know, yeah, that's why, you know, I'm trying to get my knowledge on.

Like that commercial say, a mind is a terrible thing.

To waste, Kim.

To waste.

Well, that's kind of steep.

Oh, do you want our back -to -school special?

Yeah, what's that?

Take your cheap butt back to school.

Moisa Mitchell, what are you doing here?

I know we raised you better than this.

Boy, don't make me go down to the Magic Johnson Theater and tell your mama

what's going on in her house.

Since you know my mom, $3.

Boy, move out of my way.

No, get in here. You can get in. No,

not you, bro.

And I wrote a poem for you, too. It's called Únicamente Para Ti.

You know what? I bet you that translates into Only For You.

Moesha, you understand Spanish?

Nope, but I understand barking.

Yeah, well, the worm finally poked her head up out the book, huh?

Oh, Moisa knows I'm just playing. We go way back. Ain't that right, love?

What's love got to do with it?

Everything. Ain't that right, Gabrielle?

What business?

Don't tell anyone, but I'm going to write an article about these dicks.

Which hand did you write with? This one.

Hey, Dee, you want to speak with me?

Moesha, have a seat, please.

Oh, shoot, have a seat. You know what? I don't need to sit to hear that

Gabriella got that internship.

Yes, I do.

Moesha, in an effort not to penalize you for being family, I asked the vice

principal to read a few sample writings of yours and Gabriella's. Now, included

in that was your last story about the ditch party.

Really? Was he impressed with my writing?

I'd say he was. All right, I got it, girl, I got it. I got it. Thank you for

push. I found a hard, edgy, sleazy story. You know, how did I really take

wants to suspend you, Mo.

Huh?

Relax. He does not know that it was your story because I took the names off of

the articles.

Oh, good thinking, Dee. What's our next move?

He wants to know who threw the party and who attended.

Nobody dumb enough to tell.

Come on, Dee, it's a news article.

you know, journalistic integrity.

What about shredding documents?

The vice principal, like all teachers, is responsible for the safety and well

-being of every student in this school during school hours. Now, what if

something bad had happened during that ditch party?

Oh, nothing bad happened except when they played that Hammer Vanilla Ice

Marisha, if you do not step forward by Monday, you leave me no other choice.

For the record, who did the vice principal pick for the internship?

Gabriella. Why? My article was about the malaise of youth. Her article was about

some dust in somebody's bathroom.

Well, the investigation about that dust has resulted in a $5 million renovation

grant for the entire L .A. Unified School District.

So what?

Don't make it to this school.

Hi, honey.

Hi. Where have you two been?

Oh, I picked Miles up from school and took him to work with me so he could see

what his hero does for a living.

Boy, we had a blast, didn't we, son?

Oh, yeah. It's called blast.

Eating silver donuts.

Kicking tires.

I've been flirting with old women.

Flirting? Well, I prefer to call it three sales in one day.

Hey, Jetsons.

Jetsons? Yeah. You and George got the same haircut.

Hey, baby, how was your day? Do you mean before or after Dee ruined my life?

Now, you know that is not true, Moesha. Wait a minute.

What happened, Mom?

Dee?

Well?

Today, Moesha handed in a story about a ditch party.

Steve, are you okay?

Yeah, I just need some water.

I did ask for an edgier story, and I delivered. I mean, you heard her, Dad.

But I did not ask you to ditch school. Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up, baby. You

ditched school, Mo? I was undercover. You know, I was faking the phone.

The bottom line is, if she does not reveal who was there, she will be

Suspended? Oh, man.

It's getting hot in here.

Oh, dang, the streetlights are on.

Oh, man, I gotta go.

You know what, Dee? If you really wanted to, you could take care of this.

Frank, don't look at me that way. I am not being harder on her just because she

is my stepdaughter. Just a minute, baby. You got to give me a little bit more

credit than that on this one.

See, I've been watching this film play out.

Mo is just going to have to learn that she's not going to get through her whole

life with a big smile and a stack of blueberry pancakes.

You're doing the right thing.

Oh, cut, cut, cut.

Dad, your only daughter is getting suspended.

your life with a patty card has expired.

And, yeah, what would you do if you had this information somebody wants? Say,

like, the vice principal. Mm -hmm. And by revealing it, your lifelong dreams

will be realized.

I mean, sure, a couple of your homies will be hurt, but, you know, they young.

They can bounce back. No thanks. Well, I advise you to pick the do -the -right

-thing door.

It might stick, but if you push it hard, you can go right through it.

I thought we were here, but now we're... Hey.

I serve what you need, not what you want.

Oh, here she is.

Girl, we've been calling your house all day.

Hakeem told us what's going down.

Anything we can do, girl, you okay?

I'm cool, thank you.

So you gonna rat? Kill.

Hey, y 'all ask y 'all questions, I'm gonna ask mine.

Look, it don't matter what you decide to do, but if you have a sudden taste for

cheddar, you didn't see me.

I cannot let you go out like this. Just tell Dee that Ohaji threw the party at

my house and... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not put on our stupid caps

now. Why? You seem to like yours.

Moesha, I know we've had problems in the past, but don't rat on me because

you're jealous. It's an ugly thing, and you're bigger than that.

Emma, you know what? I hate to break the news to you, Ohaji, but this isn't

about you.

Well, then what could it possibly be about?

If Moesha names names, then she won't be suspended.

But I will for being at the party, which would take me off the school newspaper,

disqualify me from the internship, and leave it wide open for my locker

Right, Moesha? I couldn't have said it better myself.

Oh, great. We're going down.

Hold up.

Moesha, if your beef is with Gabriella, then you don't have to mention the rest

of our names because we weren't there. Yeah, that's right.

Oh, it's like that, huh?

Nothing personal, sweetheart. Just business.

Business. Look, Marisha, if it means getting Ohaji suspended, turn us all in.

you don't, I will.

No, no, no, no. Wait a minute, Barbara Welch.

I ain't going down for this backstabbing fool. I'm the fool for letting this

stupid fool throw the party at my house. That's the fool. What do you mean

exactly?

I missed you at breakfast.

I wasn't very hungry.

Look, you know, Dee, ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to write.

That's why getting the internship was so important to me.

But since I have to choose, I choose to walk through the do the right thing

door.

I can't give you the names.

Are you sure?

Positive.

The door's stuck.

Not if you push.

Of course, anyone who really wanted to walk through this door would know that.

Well,

suspension hasn't turned out exactly as I planned.

Instead of a week of Ricky Lake, Montel, and Oprah, Ward and Mitchell have

sentenced me to seven days of hard labor.

No phone calls, no visitation, no dessert.

Hey, but I have good friends on the outside.

And you know what I did makes me feel good on the inside.

Miles was even impressed.

After he cut Dad from his video essay for being so boring, he somehow got into

his head that getting suspended made me a hero.