Original subtitles

Ashley has really been on my tip about trying out for the cheerleading club.

But see, I'm not into that. And neither are the women I admire.

Can you imagine Zora Neale Hurston doing a split?

Or Madame Curie shaking pom -poms? Or my girl Maya Angelou yelling, push him

back, push him back, push him way back.

I don't think so. And certainly not me.

I'm a woman of the new millennium.

another family to mooch off of.

Hakeem, what are you doing, man?

I'm trying out for basketball.

Yeah, I'm carbo -loading for endurance, so I'll be fresh in overtime.

Mm -hmm. I got my protein for bulk, so I can crash the boards with the big boys,

you know what I'm saying?

And I got my calcium, so I can grow three inches by Monday.

Well, what do you have for skills? Because I've seen your game.

It's weak, bro.

Yes, she's right here.

Now she's waving her hands in the air that she's not here.

Okay. Yes, I'll tell her. Bye -bye.

Dee?

I'm sorry, Mo, but a woman's got to learn how to do her own lying.

Bye. I thought you and Ashley got along.

I do, but she's bugging me about trying out for the cheerleaders.

Oh, all right.

You be jamming, I'll be slamming.

You be rooting while I'm shooting.

I came to dream -er.

I'm not even interested in being a cheerleader. Besides, I'm a new

woman who will not be defined by traditional female roles, okay?

I was a cheerleader, Mo.

Exactly my pointy.

Where does she get these ideas, Frank?

Certainly not from me.

Scrambling me up some eggs, baby.

Not in this millennium.

Oh, Dee, I almost forgot.

This came for you this morning. It's from your mom.

Oh.

Oh, it's the family Bible.

Oh, look.

She's still in the family tree.

Dang, Dee, your family goes all the way back to Jurassic Park, girl.

Look here, Dee.

She's got everything in here.

Births, weddings, crop failures.

Did you have an aunt or a cousin named Deirdre?

No, why?

Well, according to the Bible, you're older than me. Let me see that. No, you

don't have to. You know how old you are. Come on, Frank. No, no, no. Frank!

Frank! All right, fine, fine. Hey, it's no big deal.

It's only a year.

Well, it's no big deal to me.

Me either.

Fine. Fine.

How long have you known that you were one year older than me?

Frank. No, no, I'm just curious how somebody can manage to lose a whole

Were you in a coma?

In a witness protection program?

Or were you on the O .J. jury?

Okay, Mr. Funny Man, you have just won yourself an all -expense -paid trip to

that dusty little cop in the garage.

Excuse me. No, no, no.

It's okay.

I won that cop before.

I don't know what that was, Andale, but I think I'm growing already.

Well, you know what they say. Dump milk does a body good.

Hey, Ashley.

Hey, Moesha. What's up, Niecy? Hey.

Oh, uh... Kim!

Oh, yeah!

Hi!

Moesha, don't forget, today is the last... Ooh, girl, your dress is so

Where are you buying it?

They don't sell your size, dear.

Moesha, don't forget, today is the last day to sign up for cheerleader trials.

Oh, no thanks, Ashley. I think I'm gonna pass.

Oh, come on. You'd be so wonderful. You've got the look.

Hmm, what look is that?

Girl, you know, sort of perfect. Like me.

No one can be as perfect as you. Well, no one would expect that.

You know, you really make it hard to say no, Ashley, but thanks anyway.

Think about it.

Ooh, Ashley, your hair and your dress is cute. You just altered it cute.

Thanks.

I wish I could return the compliment.

Girl,

are you all right?

Niecy, can I speak to Mo in private?

Why private?

Because you would take it public.

That's fine.

You're just going to tell me later anyway.

Mo, I really want to be a cheerleader.

That's the reason why I was so nice to Miss. I think I'm all that.

You want to be a cheerleader?

I want to be the black Paul Abdul.

Hey, if that's what you want to do, then... No, no, no. It's what I want us

do. Us?

I don't think so, Jungle Jill.

I'm sorry, Thelma, but this is one Louise who is getting out the car. Come

please. Please, Mo, please. You've got to do this. Please.

Please. All right.

I'll think about it. Thank you, girl. I owe you. I said thank you. Why are you

thinking? Think of a chair. I'm about to go practice.

What's up, Moesha?

It's Kim.

She wants me to be a cheerleader.

That Kim, she's nothing but trouble.

Today, cheerleading. Tomorrow, choir practice. What's next?

Bible study.

No, for real.

What if I get picked and she doesn't? And you know she won't? She'll be

devastated and our friendship will be messed up.

Okay, let's say you don't go and she doesn't get picked. Then who gonna get

in the neck with that boomerang?

Go team!

Go team! Fight! Fight! Fight!

things you should know. First, we do more than just cheer. We're very

in our community. We plant trees, we feed the homeless, and we recycle.

And academics are extremely important. You must have a B average in order to

qualify for our squad.

Economics, P .E., and English as a second language.

Alicia, I am so glad you decided to try out for cheerleading. Oh, well, I

thought about it, and I decided to give it a twirl.

You're getting into this.

Why don't you come stand over here with the girls that are going to make the

squad? Okay.

Let's go, Kim.

You'll do good.

cheerleaders. I won't even trip.

Oh, I can't even look.

You want me to look?

No, no.

Yeah, no.

All right, you do. We'll do it together.

What's wrong, Mo?

My name isn't up there. You're kidding.

Look, it's no biggie. Look, I only did this for you anyway.

Congratulations. You deserve it.

I have to get to class.

Yes!

Oh, come on, D. You're not still mad about the other day, are you?

Oh, no. I am far too old and senile to remember that far back.

Baby, I was just teasing you. Look, I don't care how old you are.

Peace offering?

Oh, Frank.

Geritol.

saved your sorry life. Oh, come on.

Hi, Kim. How are you?

Just happy to be cute, black, and a cheerleader. Oh, congratulations.

You know, I used to be a cheerleader when I was in high school.

Yeah, Dee. As a matter of fact, what was that cheer y 'all used to do?

Kunta Kinte. He's a man.

I might tell Jordan City back. I'm working on a new cheese.

Oh, would you do it for me, please? Yes. Oh, no, Ken, please don't. Oh, it's

okay. No, it's not.

Say we did.

Look, I got some studying to do, so here's your CD.

Bye.

Moesha, is something going on between you two?

No, it's just...

better things to do than to listen to some sophomoric cheer.

Brace too tight.

What's up with all the food, Hakeem? I thought you didn't make the team.

This is for Mo.

She's depressed.

Then why is it all in front of you?

She's in denial.

Why, you said, I heard Kim made the squad.

Yeah, but they didn't want Moe.

Shut up.

The basketball team didn't want you either, Muggsy Bogus. Oh, see, see,

how much you know, okay? I turned them down. Yeah, they offered me starting

cowboy position.

Oh, really? Yeah.

Oh, great. Hey, hey, hey.

You should be happy for your friend.

And you, you should have took that terrible thing because I seen your game

week, bro.

Now, now.

Oh, come on, Kim, let's go.

Oh, let's not.

Honey's is in the house.

Hey, cheerleaders.

Looking lovely.

Even Kim got a little rah -rah going on.

Yay, me!

Would you two mind moving? Because we like to push these two tables together.

Yes, we do mind.

It's okay. Mo's my homegirl. We can all sit together.

Moesha, I'm sensing a little bitterness.

You know you can try out again next year.

I don't think so. Next year, I'll be on the student council voting to abolish

cheerleading.

So, ladies, how did your first day at prep? just go.

Anybody having trouble with their handstand?

I'm available to spot ya.

Well, you know, I came up with the new cheer.

Oh, yes. It's all to the good.

We don't need to attack, cause your team is booty whack.

Yo, booty! Hey, hey, yo, booty!

Hey, hey, yo, booty!

What do you think, girl?

It's booty.

Can we talk about something besides dumb cheerleading stuff, Ashley?

Wait, hold up. What's up with the dumb stuff?

I'm sorry, just thinking out loud.

But you wouldn't understand that. The loud part you would, but the thinking

would be a chore.

The only chore was watching you with your weak rhyming self.

They call me Mel. I'm getting to go.

Now.

You're right.

I'm being a tad harsh, but you've got to admit, no cheerleader is ever going to

cure cancer.

Oh, but not unless your booty, uh, uh, your booty goes on a diet.

For you.

Oh, honey, they're beautiful.

Forgive me?

Oh, how can I not when you bring me flowers like this?

You know, dinner is almost ready, so why don't you just take a seat and make

yourself comfortable?

All right.

That's what I'm talking about.

Son, I want you to take note.

If you're ever having a little riff with your woman, you buy some flowers.

What are you saying?

What are we having, lobster?

Oh, just a little something special I've prepared for my baby.

Well, well, well.

All right.

Did you know about that?

Sorry, Dad. She told me to take note, too.

No, no, no. You're going to talk to me now.

Okay.

Why are you looking at me like that?

Because you ain't right, Mo.

Me? I mean, I thought you didn't even care about cheerleading. I don't. And

you try it out just to help Kim. I did. And that you consider her your best

friend. I do.

Oh, okay. I get it now.

She was your best friend until she started coming up.

Until she grabbed a little bit of the spotlight.

Until she became more than just your cheerleader.

Are you finished?

No, you need to check yourself.

No, you need to get out of my house.

Come on. It's cool with me. No problem.

I don't stay no place where I ain't wanted.

See you tomorrow at breakfast.

Kim?

Hey.

Look, uh, about yesterday, we need to talk.

What's that on your neck?

That ain't nobody but Eric. He was all up on me at the party last night.

So y 'all going out?

No, the only reason why he wanted to talk to me was because I was a

Isn't that why you tried out?

Yeah.

Kim, we need you.

Look, they're about to do my chair.

Can you hang around here for a sec?

I wouldn't miss it.

Oh, girl.

Ladies!

Funny thing about a friend, you can have one without being one.

But from now on, I'm going to try to be one.