Original subtitles

Mr. Sakamoto! Stop, please!

Why are you doing this to me?!

- Mr. Sakamoto! - I'll hold him down.

- I'll work harder! I'll get stronger! - Do it before he wriggles away.

Please, I'm begging you!

- After the fight with Saw... - I'm gonna die!

...Mr. Sakamoto took us to his physical therapist.

Help me, Mr. Sakamoto!

Quit bein' a baby. It's just a little acupuncture.

MIYA CLINIC PHYSICAL THERAPY - ACUPUNCTURE

STRONG ASSAULT

GRANNY MIYA THERAPIST

I barely recognized you.

I don't have any customers as fat as you.

And I don't remember advertising for ex-hit men, either.

You're the only one who can heal that.

Hey, don't mess with them, you dumbass!

Mr. Sakamoto, Lu's...

Doesn't it hurt?

Actually, it feels surprisingly good.

That old lady really knows what she's doing.

Granny Miya is famous among hit men for her amazing healing techniques.

Really?

She's known as the Hand of God throughout the underworld.

She can heal almost any wound, even ones from the deadliest battles.

Wow.

Long as you ain't dead.

Old lady, how long do I have to do this?

Rude little brat, ain'tcha.

I'm still only 98, ya know.

Keep 'em in at least for the rest of the day.

What?!

Using that new ability of yours

is like sprinting at full speed while holding your breath.

At this point,

I'd say you can handle five minutes a day, tops.

Five minutes?! That's it?

Do what you want. It's your funeral.

Granny, could you see to me too?

I feel kinda dizzy.

Lemme see.

Ah, I see. That's no good.

You've got toxins built up in your body.

MISO SOUP FRESHWATER CLAMS

Drink this. Miso soup with clams.

I feel better already!

You just had a hangover!

- Want some, Shin? - Taro.

Oh, that's good.

Your turn.

It's been a while. Let Granny give you a checkup.

Gotta say, I never thought I'd see you working as part of a team.

Those kiddos seem nice.

You're fixing to go bust some skulls after this, aren't you?

Why do you ask?

This is the pressure point for anger.

It only hurts if you're angry.

Don't think you can hide anything from me.

It doesn't hurt one bit.

It hurts so bad...

Those kids getting attacked... Well, that'd send anyone into a rage.

But no good'll come of you rushing into things on your own.

Just so you know, you're only at about...

I'd say 30% of how strong you were back in your prime.

The five-year break has put a big gap between you and Nacchan.

In case you're wondering, they put me at rank S.

It doesn't matter.

I'm not going to let them hurt anyone else.

Wait a second.

That was the pressure point called the seika tanden.

It should do you some good.

Thanks, Granny Miya.

Take care of those two for me.

Come back here! Lemme try!

- It's an ancient method! - Good luck. You'll need it.

Liar! Get away from me, you drunken kung-fu freak!

SAKAMOTO'S

Can I help you find something?

Where is Taro Sakamoto?

My husband's not here right now. He went to his physical therapist.

Don't try to hide him from me.

I hate being lied to.

What? I hate lies too...

I don't think you understand your situation here.

What happens to the money inside?

Hello.

Do you understand now?

Where is Taro Sakamoto?

Try to hide him and I'll crush you next.

Now, be a good girl and--

What the... Who are you?

Oh, dear. What a mess you've made.

I bet that's what she'd say. Oh?

I was wondering why you were still alive.

Looks like this was a toy knife.

This is the guy from the list... The S-rank.

I'm gonna kill you. I hate liars.

Not a chance.

You see, I'm on the clock right now.

Nagumo, watch the store while I'm out.

I'm worried about Aoi and Hana.

What? I don't wanna.

You owe me, remember?

You could've asked nicely, at least.

You better pay me.

Sure.

Gotta help your friends out, you know?

Look, Piisuke!

This is crazy! The floor is see-through!

So scary...

I know! I'm not just fooling around here.

It's like my grandma always said.

When you can't find something anywhere you look,

it's probably right under your nose.

I need to get to know even more people.

Everybody... I want to know about everybody.

Hey.

What are you thinking about?

What are you thinking about right now?

What the hell? What do you want?

Show me what's on the inside.

We found him, Piisuke!

Grandma was right after all.

Her advice is always dead-on!

What?

He stopped the bullet! Just like Taro did.

Wait... How much will it cost to fix the glass?!

So scary!

What's his deal?

Thanks, Piisuke!

You see, I like string.

We're all connected to each other by invisible strings, aren't we?

Oh, no!

It's strange...

Somehow, I have a feeling that you're beautiful on the inside.

That was close.

What?

I'm lucky he just happened to be nearby!

Sorry, Heisuke. Didn't mean to make you wait.

No worries! You saved me!

I knew you'd be able to figure out my clue, Taro!

That hurt...

It's been forever...

since I've been hit like that.

Someone who can punch that hard

might just be able

to understand me.

I'll take care of this one.

For some reason, I'm feeling pretty good today.

432 people.

I've killed 432 people, but it hasn't satisfied my boredom.

I wonder if killing you will change that?

You count the number of people you've killed?

Surprisingly detail-oriented.

Try not to break too much stuff.

Or I'll get an earful from Sakamoto.

What are you doing?

Just borrowing your phone.

You don't have Slur's number?

Nor many friends, huh?

My phone... When did he take it?

You were so open, I couldn't help myself.

Let's peek at your search history!

Don't mess with me.

Give it back!

Sorry, are you sensitive to all that privacy stuff?

You slippery little...

I wonder if there's more alien poop today!

They must be having a party.

Where is he?

How'd he disappear?

Did he run away?

No. His bag is here.

He must be hiding.

Come out!

Where are you?!

Come out and fight me!

Come on, you coward!

Ta-da, it's me!

He's so small... How can he be this strong?

Let's see...

Gum, a car key, a receipt for gyudon,

and this hit list.

You don't have any actual info, do you?

Just a bunch of trash.

I'm done.

Now, since I'm such a nice guy,

I'll let you choose how you die.

What's that? Some kind of weapon?

How do you wanna go out?

This thing has six different functions.

I gotta say, it's super handy.

It'd be so boring if I had to kill the same way every time.

Come on. Pick a number, one to six.

Screw you! Don't you dare belittle me!

I'll crush you into nothing just like I always do!

What, you're not gonna choose?

Fine, we'll let this decide.

Where'd it go?

Three, huh?

How unfortunate.

Number three is a giant can opener.

But I guess you're not listening.

Did we make too much of a mess?

Man, Sakamoto's gonna kill me.

EMERGENCY EXIT

Strange.

He's so fat, but he can move well.

Taro!

What?

I can't seem to lose the weight.

What did she do to me?

You okay?!

Hmm, it's not cutting through.

You must be pretty sturdy.

Taro!

Hot...

Did it work?

He's like a spider!

He's skillful, for sure.

What have you done?!

This is terrible!

MODEL KITS

They were arranged so neatly!

Not sure what his deal is, but this is my chance.

- Why'd you do this?! - While he's busy cleaning up,

I'm going to slim down.

Woah, look at you go!

How's that?

Why isn't it working?

Damn him.

Oh, no!

That string is sharp.

I can't do this barehanded, but...

I have no weapons.

Disgusting...

Look at how dirty your pockets are!

I don't think we'll be able to understand each other.

But oddly enough, my body feels good.

Mr. Sakamoto is only at 30% strength compared to his prime?!

At least when he's that big.

That's hard to believe.

Do you think his body feels heavy?

I'm sure that's part of it, but...

Well, people who come back after a break always try to move like they used to.

If he just slims down, that's not a problem, is it?

If you ask me,

he should learn the right way to move with his new body weight.

Huh?

This whole time, I've been thinking.

You're so sloppy.

What?

I don't get along well with people like you.

People who don't take good care of things can't take good care of people, either.

That's why you have no problem walking all over guys like me.

I'm not a sloppy person... I don't think.

You sure about that? Just look at your slippers.

What?

Taro! Why are you wearing those raggedy slippers?

How can you even fight in those?

Say your shoes fall off, or you break a bone.

What makes a fighter truly strong is being able to adapt to their situation.

But he doesn't get that,

so he recklessly burns through calories and slims himself down in a wink.

I get it now.

I hit him in the seika tanden pressure point earlier,

so his body should finally be aware of how big it actually is.

What?

Where did he...

Once he accepts himself as he really is,

he'll find he has more than enough power without losing any weight.

How...?

Granny Miya knows best.

Going down.

Time for my counterattack.

Wow, it's so high! We're going all the way up!

The elevator is see-through!

What's that?

Did something fall?

What's that sound?

This feels good.

Incredible...

This is the longest connection I've had!

You're the first...

This is getting fun.

Will you...

listen to what I have to say?

Sorry.

I don't have the time to listen to you blabber.

Hey, Osaragi. Suppose we have a bite at this ramen festival?

But this isn't where our target is hiding out.

Come off it.

It's like they say, isn't it?

Never go to war on an empty stomach.

Then I want katsudon.

Drop the superstitions for once.

Can't we eat what I want to sometimes?

Besides, noodles are lucky too.

Long noodles symbolize a long life, which means we won't die on this mission...

Let's go already. I'm hungry.

Talk about doing a 180.

TON TON TEI IE-KEI TONKOTSU RAMEN

Mr. Shishiba, what is this?

It's pickled ginger, clearly.

Do you eat this too?

It's great for when you want to change up the flavor later.

You can have mine too.

Osaragi... Let me ask you.

Why did you do that?

You said you wanted it.

I never said that.

You did too.

I did not.

You said it was good for changing up the flavor.

Now that I did say.

OSHIMA'S AN AROMATIC WONDERLAND

This is a special type of ramen topped with cilantro.

Sorry, sir. We've run out of cilantro.

This is my cilantro.

YURURI KICHIJOJI SPICY NOODLES!

Osaragi, could you pass the spicy sauce?

SPICY - SPICY - GARLIC CHIPS

The red one?

What in the hell is this?!

What's wrong?

Can't you see it says "death" on it?

IPPON SHOBU AUTHENTIC CHINESE RAMEN

This is the star of the show.

As long as I get to eat this, I'll have no regrets.

Excuse me. Mind if I sit next to you?

That's the target.

No! You're from the JAA?!

Mr. Shishiba?

How dare you do this to my ramen?!

Subtitle translation by: Joshua Kizuki