All language subtitles for Newhart s06e21 A Midseasons Night Dream

The rooms are sparkling and shining like
nobody's business, so I'm ready to get

to work down here.

What do you want me to do first?

Stephanie, is that you?

Of course.

Should I start in your study or here in
the lobby?

Oh, I know. That kitchen floor could use
a good scrubbing.

She wants something, and it must be
huge.

Well, there is one thing.

I want to do my job better.

I mean...

You two have always been so terrific to
me, and all I've ever done is take

advantage. But that's all changed. I've
come to realize that it's no crime to do

the job you're paid to do the very best
you can.

A raise. She wants a raise.

Oh, don't be silly.

Honey, don't make any sudden moves. She
may be dangerous.

Hi, Dick, Joanna. Good to see you.

That was all in English.

I've given up those nutty hello things.
To tell the truth, I was even starting

to get on my nerve.

Michael. Yes.

Thank you, sweetheart.

They weren't sickeningly cute together.

Well, we've come to realize that you can
be in love without making others want

to puke.

Oh, by the way, Dick, here's a list of
guests for the next few Vermont Todays.

Here it comes.

Michael, these are all classy,
intelligent people. Dick, you've been a

friend. The least I can do is produce
the kind of TV program you want.

To be honest, I think it's going to be a
better show.

See you Sunday.

I'm frightened.

Kick, relax. Things are finally starting
to go your way.

Just enjoy it while it lasts.

Hi, I'm Larry. This is my brother,
Daryl. And this is my other brother,

Well, it was a great ten seconds.

We just wanted to stop by and say bye.

How come?

We've decided to give up our life in the
big city and move back to our cabin in

the woods.

Of course, the downside is we probably
won't be seeing as much of each other

anymore. Probably only when you want to.

Only when we want.

Uh -oh.

Daryl was worried that this might turn
into an emotional scene.

Don't worry, guys. For your sakes, I'll
try and show nothing but...

Thanks. We will miss you.

Well, we should be going.

We have to decide what food can travel
back to the cabin with us and what we

have to scarf down in a wild eating
binge.

Well, goodbye.

I don't believe this, sir.

moving out of town.

Stephanie is cleaning like a demon.
Michael is finally doing the show the

want.

All the problems in my life are suddenly
gone.

I know, honey. It's wonderful.

I mean, I almost feel like pinching
myself.

Morning, Dick.

Morning, George.

Mmm, pancakes.

My favorite.

Mmm.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

And they taste as good as they smell.

I need a good breakfast this morning
because I'm going to start re -shingling

the roof.

You got perfect weather for it.

Yep. Mmm.

Great.

Is this all you're going to do?

Huh?

Well, it is a dream.

So?

In a dream, you can do anything you
like.

I like this.

But this is exactly like your real life.

Yeah, but to me, my real life is a
dream.

Smell these, dear.

George, I don't want to smell them. See,
the great thing about dreams is you can

do things that you can't do in real
life.

Dick, I have this dream all the time,
and I like it fine.

That is, until you started bugging me in
it.

George, maybe you don't realize your
dream options.

You can make it thunder and lightning
outside.

Well, there goes the shingling weather.

Forget about outside.

George, there are a lot of neat things
you can do here, like a strange music.

Or a mysterious myth.

inanimate objects talk.

How you doing, George?

Dick, are you trying to make me wake up
crying?

George, I'm just trying to show you how
to have fun in your dreams.

I appreciate it, Dick, but believe me,
I'm fine.

And my dream is fine.

Now I gotta go re -shingle that roof.

George!

I gotta tell you, I think you're wasting
your time dreaming like this, but I

mean, it's up to you.

If you want to have boring dreams.

Gee, Dick, give me a chance.

At least now, George, shingling that
roof should be a cinch.

emergency. Michael, thank goodness
you're here.

What is it, my cute cup of soy?

There's something terribly horrible
upstairs and I just know it's going to

down and get me.

Really? What?

Well, I don't know, but it's wicked and
putrid and generally gross and it'll be

here any second.

Well, give those worry wrinkles walking
papers because nothing but nothing is

going to mess with my sensual senorita
as long as this blood box is still

pumping.

I can get near my man.

See, Steph, I know I said I'd help, but
this is scarier than I bargained for.

I'm off the goose pimple scale, and I'm
dangerously close to fabric -ruining

perspiration. I love you a lot, but I'm
out of here. Call if you live.

Michael!

It's pointless to run.

What do you want from me?

I want you to please me.

But it's not good enough.

I want you to start all over again and
clean all 100 rooms.

But we don't have 100 rooms.

We do now.

I made George build all night.

Why are you so mean to me, Joanna?

Because you're so good and pure.

And so incredibly perfect and beautiful.

Well, you got me there.

I want you to scroll.

Once I realized nothing bad could really
happen to me in a dream.

My hero!

And I come bearing great news. Your
father gave us four million dollars to

home and start a family and still have
enough left over to buy a major yacht.

And look!

We already have two children.

You don't have to go through the bother
of having them yourself.

Maybe she can, Steph.

I'll tell you what.

I'll make you a deal.

You can go as soon as you finish dusting
the lobby.

Well, that sounds fair.

weren't even blonde.

from a few tiny special interest groups.

What could they possibly say? What's
wrong with it?

Too much sex and violence.

Really? Maybe they'll calm down if we
move it out of the family hour. We'll

a show to take its place. Something high
-con, a bimodal, a center -cut and a

healthy topspin.

Something for kids?

That's what I just said.

I know you're very busy, Mr. Harris, but
you've just won another award.

I want to thank the voters for this
great honor.

That's the kind of message I need to
further my crusade to stamp out quality

television wherever it rears its ugly
head.

Thank you all again.

This is very special and meaningful to
me.

Very well said, ma 'am. Very well said.

Mr. Harris, have you had a chance to see
the rough cut of the 17th Gilligan TV

movie yet? Oh, yes, Gilligan's Island.
The food runs out. Kind of a downer. Try

trimming the scene where they have to
eat the skipper.

What an acute... He's a muppet.

Now off with you. I have shows to
create.

Okay, bye.

I mean, adios, sir.

Whoever you are, I'm

thinking making an appointment with one
of my secretaries. It's time now,

Michael. We... We made a deal.

What, uh... What kind of deal?

Figure it out for yourself.

How do you think you got all of this?

With your talent?

Dick, is that you?

Never touch the horns.

Dick, devil, devil, Dick, why did I ever
make that connection before?

Let's go, Michael.

People are waiting to see your shows.

It's just the kind of torture they're
expecting.

Tonight is Larry.

This is Ed McMahon inviting you to join
Larry and his guests, Emma Sands, Brett

Travolina, and from the San Diego Zoo,
Joan Embry. And now, ladies and

gentlemen, here's Larry.

Hi, I'm your host, Larry.

This is my sidekick, Daryl.

And this is my band leader, Daryl.

You're looking good, Daryl.

We should get some nuclear guys to come
out and take a reading on that outfit.

Oh, good to see you, Tommy.

Did you know the practice of hibernating
began when Tommy walked into the woods

one day and started to talk to the
animals?

We got a great show for you tonight.

Emma Sands is with us. Yaha!

And Fred Travolina.

And a visit from Joan Embry from the San
Diego Zoo.

So let's get to it.

guest is always a pleasure to have with
us. From the San Diego Zoo, Miss Joan

Embry.

Nice to see you, Larry.

Hi. And may I say you smell much better
than you'd think for a lady in your line

of work.

I brought you a couple of very exotic
birds from South America called the

and dilly.

Now, wait till you see their color. It's
just incredible.

It might take them a couple of seconds
to adjust to the light, though.

They're gone!

What happened?

I don't know. Where could they have...
Daryl?

Have you been in between meals snacking
on our animal guests?

Tommy, I hope I don't find out you've
been involved in this.

I can't believe those guys did this.

I told them how rare these birds were.

Oh, that explains it.

Daryl thought you meant medium rare.

Anyway, since John has screwed up...

Let's move on to my next guest, the
versatile Fred Travolina.

Hello.

Hi, Larry.

Great to see you. Fred, you're an
amazing impressionist. They say you can

anyone. Well, thanks.

Can you do a little bit of Herbie
Crooker for us?

Herbie Crooker. He's always hanging out
in front of the feed store.

Wait till you hear this.

Larry, I'm afraid I don't know him.

Oops, sorry. I appear to have exposed
you as a fraud on national television.

Wait, wait. I know. I know I can do it.

Daryl. I'll do Daryl.

incredible. Daryl's my brother, and for
a second there, I couldn't tell the

difference.

Uh -oh. What's that, Freddy?

My producer's giving me the signal to
move on.

My next guest is a big -time movie star
and one fabulous babe, Emma Sams.

I know you like our guests, but the FCC
has very strict rules about sidekick

seating.

Hi, Larry. It's nice to meet you. Same
here.

Now, I know you do a lot of TV and
films, but I'm wondering what someone

you does in her spare time.

Well, when I'm not working, I live a
pretty normal life. You know, I like to

things like go out in the backyard and
roll around in the mud.

Really? And I like to play games, you
know, things like Lord Fight and

Name That Stain.

Oh, and after a nice downpour, you'll
always find me out romping in the

bog.

Wow. I know you're not going to believe
this, but I'm into a whole lot of those

same things.

Oh, come on.

Did you ever play Let's See If This Is
Edible?

Perfect for each other.

Do you mind if I kiss you right now?

Well, gee, we are on TV in front of
millions of people. Okay.

Oh, no. We're out of time?

You sure, Freddy?

Damn. I spent too much time with Fred
Travolina.

Joanna, Joanna, if you're having a dream
that you're

really, really enjoying, is there any
special technique to,

I don't know, to pinch yourself back
into it?

I don't think so, Dick.

Damn it!