All language subtitles for Newhart s06e16 Would You Buy a Used Car from This Handyman

Hello, Shepard Inn.

Oh, hello, Mrs. Cook.

Yeah, we sort of expected you an hour
ago.

Well, where are you now?

Lost.

You see any distinguishing signs or
landmarks?

Uh -huh.

Yeah, I'm afraid a lot of stop signs fit
that description, Mrs. Cook.

No, I'm afraid I don't know what color
Vermont would be on your road map.

Well, I suppose if I absolutely had to,
I'd guess green.

Goodbye, Mrs. Kirk.

Well, we're on our way out to build a
snow step.

We're going to pack some white powder
into five feet of cuteness. A monument

my muffin in ice.

You want to join us? I'll let you put
the dimples underneath.

Darn, and my mittens are all the way in
the other room.

So, do you have everything, Michael? You
bet. I even have a button for your cute

button nose.

Kind of big, Michael.

How's this?

Perfect.

I make hats cold, but it's worth it.

I replaced that light in the
refrigerator for you, Joanna.

Thanks, George.

You're looking at my 10 ,000th burnout
bulb.

And this baby goes right in the
scrapbook.

You put light bulbs in your scrapbook?
Only those with strong sentimental

You should see my scrapbook. It tells
the George Utley story from the very

beginning. The first nail I ever
hammered solo.

The metric wrench set I bought when I
fell for the conversion talk of the 70s.

Even my junior carpenter tool belt with
training ball peen.

Sounds like it'd be hard to put down.

Sounds like it'd be hard to pick up.

I've got to go dust off the old book. I
expect I've got quite a trip down memory

lane in front of me.

Joanna.

Our maid is outside building a snow idol
to herself.

And our handyman is on his way to his
room to paste a light bulb in a

When did we lose control of the hired
help?

Morning, George.

Good morning.

George, are you okay?

I've been up all night looking over my
George Utley scrapbook. And you know,

every single page was handyman stuff.

Are you sure you have the right
scrapbook?

There wasn't a single photograph of me
in there without a hammer.

Well, weren't there any baby pictures?

Sure, plenty.

Well, George, you always loved the idea
of being a handyman. That's why you

became one, right?

Well, I used to think so.

But maybe it was because my father was a
handyman.

And my father's father was a handyman.
And my father's father... All right,

George. We're picking up on the pattern.

George, if you don't want to be a
handyman, what do you want to be?

Nothing I can think of. Oh, except when
I was a kid, I had a few ambitions.

Well, it's never too late to follow your
dreams.

Don't worry. Last night I came to grips
with the fact that I'll always be just a

handyman.

Well, I think before I start my day 13
,612 of

my handyman grind, I'll just take a
little walk outside and see if I can't

those old caretaker's blues.

George?

George, I mean, do you think a walk is
the answer? I mean...

You know, look how a stroll down memory
lane screwed you up.

Stratford Inn.

Um, Mrs.

Cook, yeah, we're beginning to worry.

Well, I'm sorry, but I told you Green
was just a guest.

I did so.

Well, where are you now?

No, no idea, huh?

What's that I hear in the background?

It sounds like you got an ocean there,
Mrs. Goode.

All right, what you do, get back in your
car and drive, keeping the ocean on

your right.

You're welcome, Mrs. Goode. And good
luck.

Michael. Oh, Michael.

What are we going to do?

What's going on? I just heard it on the
radio. It's horrible.

A warming trend.

Okay, everyone into the basement. I'll
get some lanterns and some bottled

Don't you realize what this means?

Everyone knows that's me out there. And
even after the sun's deforming rays hit

it, they're still going to think it's
me.

Of all the times for spring to hit,
right on the heels of winter.

Well, you guys knew.

When you built this, did someday it
would melt?

No, we didn't. We don't think that far
into the future.

Yeah. I mean, who would have a baby if
they thought about what it was going to

look like when it was 90?

Michael, what are we going to do?

I don't know.

Well, thanks.

Dick? I don't know either.

Well, I guess all you can do is sit back
and watch helplessly as your snow step

slowly melts into a muddy slush step.

You're sick!

Jake, that wasn't very nice.

I know, and as soon as I can keep a
straight face, I'll apologize.

Hi, guys.

George, where have you been?

Well, my cheering up stroll through town
kind of turned into an all -day outing.

Looks like it worked. You're downright
peppy. Yeah, I feel great.

Terrific. I got a new job.

What do you mean you got a new job?
Well, I was about a mile into my walk

passed Seifert's Auto Barn.

They had a salesman wanted sign up. The
job I've always dreamed of.

But, George, you never said anything
about wanting to be a used car salesman.

That's because I thought Dick would
laugh at my illusions of grandeur.

Wait a minute.

If I leave my job here, it'll be the
first time the Stratford has been

an Utley handyman.

I'm sure we'll stumble through.

But who'll handyman?

I'll handyman.

I guess you will stumble through.

Well, now I suppose that the first thing
I've got to do is find a place to live.

Oh, what do you mean, George? Of course
you'll live right here in your room.

But that's for the resident handyman.

No, that's for the resident Utley.

Oh, thanks.

But I won't feel right unless you let me
pay for my room and board. George,

don't be ridiculous. I insist, Dick. I
do have my pride.

All right, how about, uh...

$25 a month.

Boy, you sure know how to exploit a
guy's sentimental attachment.

Michael, any news on the

snow, Steph?

All NG, living, breathing, Steph.

And the forecast says continued warmer.

Michael, you're really letting me down
as a boyfriend not being able to control

the weather and all.

Sorry, Seth.

I know. How about we start calling it a
Snow Joanna?

That way it'll just be something on the
lawn.

Michael, the melting of snow is a
natural phenomenon and in its own way

very beautiful.

I'm sorry. I wonder if you could settle
a bet.

That snow sculpture outside, is that
supposed to be a gargoyle or a lawn

It's supposed to be her.

Oh, yeah.

Michael, I don't care what it takes.

Fix me, fix me.

You know, I just can't believe that
George is going to go off to work.

I mean, I'm really going to miss having
him around all the time.

Honey, it's just a phase he's going
through. I predict his...

His hammer hand will be itching before
lunch.

Don't you look nice.

It's so neat to have to dress up for
work the same way you would for a big to

-do.

And look, you guys realize this will be
the first time I've had to pack a lunch

for work?

It's exhilarating and scary all at the
same time.

And I've been boning up on my blue book
values.

Go ahead. Give me a model and year, and
I'll tell you the price.

Um, 84 Mustang convertible.

That's an easy one.

Six or eight cylinder?

Oh, let's see. I'm already open to the
six cylinder page, but I don't want you

to pull any punches just because it's my
first day.

Okay, then eight.

GT or LX interior?

George, I'm really not that interested
in a Mustang.

You're not?

Then what'd you put me through all this
for?

Oh, I hope all my customers aren't like
you, Dick.

Wow. Even the lulls are exciting.

looking for a car, and my friend said I
should be sure to talk to the man who

sold her a car yesterday, Honest George.
I'm Honest George.

Your name tag says Bill Dryden. Okay, I
lied. I'm Honest Bill.

When I told your friend that car
yesterday, I just told her my name was

George. Hi, I'm George Utley.

You must be Mrs. Leeds' friend.

Hello, George.

Sherry said you'd tell me the truth
about your cars.

I'd be glad to.

Welcome to the auto barn.

I'm looking for George. I'm George.

No, you're not. I know what he looks
like. I was in an accident and I had

plastic surgery.

I'm not here to buy anything.

I'll get him right away.

George to the showroom.

Hey, you smudge it, you bought it.

Oh, George, I hope I didn't pull you
away from a customer.

Oh, it's okay, Dick.

She wanted a station wagon, but the only
one we've got has a bad exhaust system,

so you get dizzy when you drive.

When I pointed that out to her, she lost
interest.

Did you show her the VW van?

No, the accelerator sticks.

Hey, lady, wait!

And if your friend smudges the Plymouth,
it's my sale.

Dick, what are you doing here?

It's not already the first of the month,
is it?

George, I'm not here to collect the
rally.

Happened to be next door picking up a
new fuse, and I thought I'd drop in. New

fuse? What's wrong?

Nothing. Michael and Stephanie
overloaded the in -circuits by trying to

a dozen Mr.

Snowcones in the outdoor outlet.

Did you get to use the new fuse tester?

You're starting to miss the handyman
life, aren't you, George?

Are you kidding?

Look around. I mean, is this place great
or what? It's like a cross between

Disneyland and Disney World.

It's a kind of hard combination of
picture.

Look, Dick.

Here it is.

The time clock.

Wow, up close and everything.

Hey, George, I sold the van.

She wanted it? Not really, but she
smudged it.

You know, I'm not sure Bill should be in
the used car business.

Some of the things he does border on the
dishonest.

Well, I better go help her out of this
fix. And also, I am on the clock.

Yeah, I better go, too. I don't want to
smudge my way into the poorhouse.

If you really want to see something,
come back in three hours.

What happens then?

I punch out.

working porch light again and i have
page one of dick loudon's scrapbook

re -replace the porch light could you
take a look at

the fireplace flu sure what's wrong i
don't know but this just fell out which

i'm pretty sure is wrong yeah i'll get
right out

Hello, Stratford Inn.

Oh, hi, Mrs. Cook.

Where are you now?

Well, can you find someone to ask
directions?

Everyone's speaking French.

Yeah, I think you overshot us, Mrs.
Cook.

My guess is Canada.

Yeah, were there guys in uniform who
stopped you and went through your

Yeah, see, that's the border.

You know, Mrs. Cook, maybe you ought to
just ask for a room there.

Au revoir, Mrs. Cook.

Cross off, Mrs. Cook.

Come on. Just take one more look for me.

Michael, I already looked out this
morning, and it was nothing but an ugly

-foot lump.

Well, take one more look. You may be
pleasantly surprised.

Michael, she's gone!

You're right, Steph.

What happened to her?

I think the only explanation is that
Snow -Steph pulled a frosty on us, came

life, and danced off to the North Pole.

Do you really think so?

It's the only theory science will
support.

that little button nose embedded in your
grill work?

Well, as I say, either she came to life
or I accidentally mowed her down with a

Turbo Z.

Hi,

George. How was work?

Great. I just came here to throw
something into my brown bag for tonight.

You're working tonight?

You bet. We're having a midnight Pacer
mania sale.

Balloons, button, and we'll... Stay open
until we finally sell that stupid

pacer.

Sounds exciting.

Yeah. By the way, the porch light's out.

Yeah, I know. As soon as I finish fixing
the flu, I'm going to get out again.

You're kidding. The flu broke?

I've been waiting 47 years for that
thing to give in.

Figures. You wash your car, it rains.

You change careers, the flu breaks.

George, you wouldn't by any chance want
to help me with the flu?

No.

hung up the overalls. I figured the best
way to give up handy manhood would be

cold turkey.

Sure beats checking into one of those
fenners.

I thought I heard a creaking noise out
here.

Probably this swing.

Who, uh, wants...

Want some company?

I guess.

Damn, I've already replaced that light
bulb twice tonight.

Probably using a regular bulb.

You should use special ones in winter.

Ah.

Well, I hardly ever sit in this swing.

It's nice.

Noisy, but nice.

Thanks. Dad and me put this up when I
was eight years old.

We used to sit in it at night, staring
out over the lawn, talking about stuff.

Things sure have changed.

Well, it was 40 years ago.

No, I mean since this morning. No,
Stephanie's gone.

Michael ran over it.

I feel pretty silly moping about my own
petty problems.

Well, I guess since I'm the handyman,
I'm going to have to oil that thing in

morning. I wish you wouldn't, Dick.

Why not?

Well, I know this is going to sound
crazy, but the creaking was starting to

sound a little like my father talking to
me on the swing again.

What creaking? What was he saying?

He was saying you can't fight
generations of breeding, that I should

being the Stratford handyman.

George, you should probably listen to
your heart on this, not some squeaking

porch swing.

I think that is my heart, Dick.

The swing was just saying it out loud.

You know, Dick...

All my life, I thought being a used car
salesman was just about the greatest

thing in the world.

Time clock, those little plastic flags
snapping in the wind, painting big white

numbers on windshields.

But after about a week, all that glamour
fades into a glitzy routine.

Well, I have to tell you, George, from
the outside looking in, you'd never

guess.

I thought I'd live out every man's
fantasy.

Selling used cars is not really that
much fun.

And then tonight I couldn't concentrate
thinking about that fireplace flu.

How would I fix it?

Would I just weld on a new faceplate
or... or replace the whole mechanism?

You, uh...

You wouldn't have just jammed it back
into place.

Are you kidding?

George, you know, I would have let you
help me fix the flu.

Oh, it's not just that, Dick. I miss
setting my own hours.

I miss the feel of a plaid flannel shirt
under fully stocked overalls.

And I miss the feel of being necessary
at the car lot.

There's me and Bill. I'm just a number
there.

But here at the Stratford, without me,
the front porch would always be dark and

the damper would be flip -shottily
jammed into place.

George, you know, we really miss you,
but I thought you wanted to do something

else besides, you know, handyman stuff.

I've done it, Dick. And after tomorrow,
there's going to be a name tag.

A time card and a midnight Pacer mania
button in my scrapbook to prove it.

I quit, Dick.

You're sure about this, George? You
know, it's not too late to go back.

It's still not too late, George.

And don't worry, Dick. Before I go to
bed tonight, I'll put a new bulb in the

porch light.

And would you give the flu the once
-over?

I was going to, Dick.

You know, it's good to have a nutty back
at the Stratford

again.

Ten thousand and one.

Meow.