All language subtitles for Newhart s06e14 A Friendship That Will Last a Lunchtime

Hi.

I'm the amazing Larry. This is my
stupefying brother Daryl, and this is my

stupefying brother Daryl.

Is it just me, or is that intro getting
longer?

We're just doing the traditional
magician's practice of putting a

adjective before our names.

Great. There.

They're magicians now. Oh, boy.

I love magic.

In our never -ending dream to lure the
elusive customer, we've decided to offer

magic with every meal.

We thought to sharpen our skills, we'd
try some illusions out on you folks.

First, the simple but classic bloody
finger in a box.

Open it.

Larry, you did say it's an illusion.

After a heated debate, we decided that
was the way to go.

We feel this will stimulate the sales of
finger foods.

I don't think so, guys.

Really?

Well, we are working on a dove act. We
haven't learned any tricks yet, but we

sure enjoy stuffing birds in our
clothes.

Hey, who doesn't?

Come on, Daryl. Let's go outside and
give them some air.

Mine are getting fidgety.

Gee, now I'm going to be up all night
figuring out how they did that finger in

the box thing.

Senorita, your numero uno hombre esta
aqui.

Maybe I could tip off immigration about
him.

While we're waiting for Steph to perfect
her put, answer me this hypothetical

query. If I were really in the lurch,
back to wall situation, and gave you

notice, could I bring someone from the
station over for dinner?

I guess so, with ample notice.

That's nice.

How's five minutes?

I'm in a bind. Steph's been all over me
because I haven't seen her much lately,

but I also scared at a dinner meeting
with one of the station's bigger stars.

And instead of letting my innocent
cupcake down and enduring God knows what

punishment, I thought, you know, why not
combine the two and have dinner right

here? How about because I hate the idea?

Oh, really? Well, I think you'll change
your tune when you hear who the star is.

Your old friend and co -hostess, Buffy
Denver.

Buffy Denver?

The happy time weather girl that almost
destroyed my television career?

Okay, Michael, let's go.

I, uh, I have a super surprise for
Supper Cuppers.

We're staying here and having dinner
with Buffy Denver.

Ew!

I hate her.

You know, I'm starting to sense a few
holes in this plan.

But I'd appreciate it if you'd all
change your attitudes, especially since

Buffy's coming up the walk.

Honey, I'm going to hide under the
registration desk for the evening.

Michael!

Oh, it's really, really great to see you
again!

I mean, we have been working at the same
station for over a year, and we never

see each other!

Have you been avoiding me?

Honey, next time I want to hide under
the desk, don't stop me.

your pretty people.

Right. This, uh, this is my wife,
Joanna.

Hi, Joey.

It's so incredibly nice to meet you.

Your husband is such a major dream
machine.

And this is my megalo, Stephanie
Vanderkellen.

Hi.

She is so incredibly fantastic.

bad as I thought.

So, Buffy, how are you enjoying your On
the Town show?

Oh, it's just so incredibly fantastic.

My favorite is when I'm covering stories
that I actually understand, you know,

so it's not just a bunch of meaningless
words.

So, Dickie, when are we going to work
together again?

Huh?

Primo notion.

I think with the right concept, you
two... But scheduling makes it

Well, enough idle yakety -yakety. Let's
discuss some bizwack.

You said you had some new creative ideas
for the show? Yes, Michael.

Now, you know, I'm very concerned about
the quality of the show, and I think a

great way to raise the quality of the
show would be to raise the quality of my

outfits.

You know, I don't usually get involved
in business stuff, but that makes total

sense.

did you get that?

Well, you can't find anything decent
around here within a 63 -mile radius.

Tell me about it.

Well,

I'm done.

You know, I bet with your fantastic
taste, you could really help me improve

look. Oh, don't be silly.

Of course I could.

I would just give anything to see your
closet.

Okay, but it'll take days.

I think you two would have a lot more
fun outside that 63 -mile radius.

Come on, let's start going through my
winter world right now.

Oh, this is turning out to be the most
incredibly fantastic night.

I'm sorry to rush off, Dickie, but it
sounds like we'll be seeing a lot more

each other anyway.

sure the room is Buffy free.

I'm all out of inane conversation.

She's upstairs with Stephanie. Listen,
honey, I know she's been around a lot

lately, but you don't have to hide.

Honey, it's self -preservation. I mean,
all that giggling and endless shootsy

talk about makeup and fabric and colors.

I mean, I'm losing brain cells here.

Honey, while we have a minute alone,
let's talk smart.

How about that toll story, huh?

Gee.

I have been having the most
fantastically wonderful time.

I mean, Stephanie is the most incredibly
amazing person.

Oh, stop it.

They know.

So, are you two going out for a while?
There's a whole wacky town waiting for

you out there.

First, we're going to get something to
eat, and then Buffy's going to make me

up, and then I'm going to make her up,
and then we're going to moisturize and

it all again.

Until it gets dark.

See ya.

It's the pajama party that never ends.

Siegfried, this is my brother Roy.

And this is my other brother Roy.

Guys, I hate to be the one to tell you
this, but there already is a Siegfried

and Roy.

We know, but we're Siegfried and Roy and
Roy.

Oh, boy. More magic.

For this one, we'll... to volunteer from
the audience.

I volunteer Dick.

What? Please, Dick. I'd volunteer
myself, but I don't want to miss this.

on.

Well, it's Buffy here. How much worse
could this be?

Now, we have never met before, correct?

Larry, just get on with it.

attempt to saw this man in half.

Neat.

Larry, Larry, you've done this trick
before, right? There's a trick?

George, get me out of here.

No need to panic.

Daryl here's packing plenty of
Mercuricome.

George!

Too bad.

really throws off our rehearsal
schedule.

We plan to perfect the thawing in half
this week and then work on the putting

back together next week.

I volunteer dick.

Sorry, they just seem so darn
professional.

Well, you're all dressed up.

Buffy and I are going to a nice
restaurant for lunch.

We're going to point out what's wrong
with what other people are wearing.

Whoever finds the most balls gets
treated.

You two seem to have gotten really
close.

Joanna, Buffy's totally obsessed with
her appearance.

She spends every cent she makes on
clothes.

Hours a day on her face. I mean, she's
the first normal person I've met in

Vermont.

It's so nice to finally have someone I
can have a girl -to -girl chat with.

was always here.

Oh, that's sweet, Joanna.

But I always felt that it was a burden
for you to have to reach so far back in

your memory to try to understand what a
girl my age was going through.

Speak up, child. My hearing isn't what
it used to be.

Now, Joanna, don't be jealous.

There are negatives with Buffy, like
when we get dressed up like this.

There's always a slight danger that she
might look almost as good as I do.

But I still like her enough to have
bought her something.

You bought something for someone else?

I must have wrapped and unwrapped it a
dozen times.

Until you got it perfect.

Until I decided not to keep it for
myself.

I realized I felt strongly enough about
Buffy to make the sacrifice.

You look really, really terrific.

And you look even better.

Well, I'll just get my coat and then we
can go. And then I have a surprise for

you that was so incredibly nice of me.

Steffi, you're never going to believe
this, but right before I left, I got a

call from a girlfriend that I haven't
seen in, like, days.

And she invited me to some kind of party
this afternoon that sounded like

really, really, really a lot of fun.

I think I'm going to die.

No, it's okay.

I think I'm over the worst part.

Is this what they call being do it up?

That phrase could apply.

Oh, my God.

You hear about it happening to other
people.

You even do it to other people.

But you never think it's going to happen
to you.

I wonder if the others I've stood up in
my past felt as badly as this.

Oh, that's silly.

No one's as sensitive as I am.

This really hurts.

Even knowing I get to keep the gift
doesn't help.

I'm a blank.

Dick, here's the info. Michael, I've
been stood up.

Oh, my God.

Jeff, are you going to die?

It was a touch and go there for a while.

I think she's over the worst of it. Oh,
thank goodness.

Can you believe that? Michael,

take me upstairs.

I think this is going to lay me out for
quite a while.

Do you think you and Buff will ever be
able to be friends again after this?

Michael, I've been thinking about that.

And the same phrase keeps repeating
itself over and over again in my mind.

No way in hell.

Hi.

I'm Larry. This is my brother Daryl.
What happened to the fancy magician

adjectives? Well, we've decided to hang
up the old...

Whatever it is, magicians hang up when
they quit.

Why did they change your hard guys?

Well, we were doing the breakfast show
for some customers, and Daryl went a

little too heavy on the flash powder.

We found it doesn't take much to make
your cheaper ladies' wigs go up like

We tried to tell Mrs. Epstein that
blonde with charcoal streaks of black

stylish.

But she didn't want to be reasoned with.
She just wanted to be put out.

We partied on good terms, though.

We gave her $20 so she could buy an even
nicer wig.

Well, for that kind of money, you won't
be able to see the cloth through the

hair anymore.

Now we gotta think up other non
-combustible ways to increase business.

Too bad, too. Just when we were getting
good.

this way, but I just got a call from a
friend of mine who's just dying to see

this afternoon, so I said yes.

But I promise we'll do this lunch thing
again real, real, real soon.

Huggies! Bye!

Okay, Steffi, have a good time.

You do realize I'm canceling a planned
lunch with you without any notice.

Devastating, huh?

What?

Well, you know, because... Well, just
never mind.

Well, this leaves me with a whole
amazing afternoon free.

Well, good for you.

I know.

I'll send it with Dickie.

What? We can reminisce about all the fun
we had together last year.

You better start. I'm kind of fuzzy on
anything that happens. It happened over

three months ago.

No, uh, let's go see Stephanie. But she
has a lunch date. No, no, she doesn't.

And you talk to her.

Just talk to anyone.

Anybody but me.

Dick,

what are you doing here? I have to get
ready for my very important lunch date.

See, I told you.

Stephanie doesn't have a lunch date.

Do so.

Traitor.

Look, I'm the last one to try to patch
up this relationship, but now she's

me.

I want you two to make up.

He wants to watch while we put on
makeup?

Is Dickie some kind of freakazoid?

I'm not a freakazoid. I want you to make
up with each other.

Stephanie is, and you.

Come on.

She is because you stood her up
yesterday.

But I had a better offer.

But that isn't polite, and you hurt her.

She stood you up today because you stood
her up yesterday, and she wanted to

make you feel the same pain that she
felt.

So when she canceled our lunch, She was
trying to make me feel bad.

Exactly.

Hey, that's really mean.

Good, it worked.

It doesn't matter that it worked. What
matters is that you two are back

again.

What am I talking about?

I don't want to get back together with
her. She's insensitive. And she pulls

mean, hard -to -understand tricks.

But part of friendship is accepting each
other's faults. I mean, neither of you

is perfect.

What?

Well, I mean, you could be a little more
considerate.

You are yelling at me.

All right, all right, take it easy.

You're not the only one at fault here.
And Stephanie can be a little too

demanding.

always so critical of everyone.

Well, does this mean we can still be
friends?

Maybe.

I guess it's not that bad that you're
insensitive.

Besides, I think I'm probably superior
enough to tolerate your lack of

interdependence.

Thank you, Steffi.

I didn't understand the words, but the
tone was sweet.

Maybe our problem was...

We were spending too much time together.

Especially here at the inn.

I have been starting to miss Michael.

Well, I hope we can work something out
because I think you're really, really

terrific.

You see, there are so many things about
you I like.

Well, I guess the burden does fall on
the more advanced and developed of us to

overlook the shortcomings of others.

Besides, who am I to deprive you of me?

Oh, Steffi, I just think I found a
friend for life.

Oh, my God, what have I done?

Dick, could we have some privacy,
please?

See, I told you he likes watching.

I wonder

if I could have George...

Seal up this door forever.

Meow.