Original subtitles

Morning, George.

Morning.

Something wrong, George?

Nothing that can't wait until we're a wound.

George, it's okay. They're not listening.

Oh, okay, Dick. My paycheck bounced.

Obviously, obviously a bank error.

I'll call this morning and straighten it out, George.

Yeah, that must be it.

George,

what are you doing?

We'll just call my last two weeks' work a freebie between friends.

George, I have money. I'm liquid, okay?

Dick, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Come on. Let me lend you a little money until this thing blows over. Whoa, clam

up.

Until what blows over? Nothing. Nothing's blowing over.

My paycheck bounced.

What? Sorry, Dick. She wore me down.

Joanna, it's a bank error.

Just tell me how much you need and it's yours.

George.

Okay.

$25 ,000.

Gee, Dick, that's almost half of what I have.

But you are my best friend.

Hold it.

George, are you saying you could write a check for $25 ,000 and I could take it

to the bank and they would cash it?

Sure, I wouldn't write you a check that wasn't any good, Dick.

George, where did you get that kind of money?

Well, sort of from you guys.

Geez, I bled you dry, didn't I?

George, you couldn't possibly have saved $50 ,000 from what we pay you. Well, my

father left me some, and my room and board here is free.

The only thing that costs me money is my beaver lodge dues and my tool of the

month club.

Of course, now that I'm out to 25 grand, I guess I'll have to give up the tool

of the month club.

Next month was going to be a ratchet.

George, we don't need your money.

George, we're in good shape.

Not as good as you are, but we're doing fine.

That's great to hear.

I guess I'll get to work.

I've got a door to paint, a banister to sand, and a check to repair.

That's not what I heard.

I just got off the phone with the bank. They said it was their error. The check

will clear.

Oh, good.

Would it be possible for me to be paid in cash from now on?

No.

Michael! Hold that thought.

Why, Dick, you look a little drawn.

In fact, I'd say a bit overdrawn.

A photo session this Friday at 6.

Perfect. Early evening is one of my five best times of day.

Didn't you two get your pictures taken last month?

Joanna, you'd get your picture taken a lot, too, if you looked like this.

Michael, I'm in the mood. Let's go upstairs and practice posing in the

Great, Jeff.

Well, I'm done refinishing the banister.

It passed the sliding test, Dick.

George, don't you think you're a little old to be sliding down banisters?

I ran my hand along it, Dick.

You know, George, I've been thinking about that $50 ,000 of yours.

Instead of just having it sit in the bank, maybe you should invest some. Oh,

Dick. My father invested in the stock market once.

1929.

We never saw that $10 again.

George, that was just a fluke.

1929 was the biggest stock market crash in history. To date.

George, we Utleys have always been poor, Dick.

When I was little and all the other kids went down to the nickel movies, I had

to play by myself down at Vickers Park.

After the show, a couple of my friends would come back and act out the movie

me.

When I finally got to see some of those movies, I was disappointed.

I mean, to me, to me, Johnny Blinko was Scarlett O 'Hara.

But, George, I mean, you have money now. You should go out and enjoy it.

I can't think of anything I really need.

Yeah, but half the fun of having money is spending it on things you don't need.

What's the other half?

The point is, George, I can't tell you how many happy times I've had buying

things that I didn't need.

You see this fan? I didn't need it.

I mean, you should go out and treat yourself. You know, go out and do

a little crazy.

Gee, Dick, I could never be as crazy as you.

Well, George, you don't have to shoot for the moon right off.

I'll tell you what. We'll go into town, we'll hit the stores, and we'll do some

shopping.

Okay. If you think we should.

I want to buy some gum anyway.

George, you've got to find something in here. Hey, what a great -looking ball.

There you go.

You sure could have a neat game of catch with this.

You don't throw, George.

Oh.

Can I bounce it? No, no. Just put it on the floor.

Oh.

Do I kick it? No, no. You'd break it.

Well, so far, this is the worst ball I've ever seen.

Watch this, George.

What do you think, George?

Kind of scary, Dick.

George, here's something that'd be perfect for you.

Does it move?

No, no, it's an electronic memo minder. Keep track of all your appointments.

Oh, neat.

What appointments, Dick?

George, everybody has appointments.

Well, I do have a beaver meeting every Thursday.

But as you see, I remembered that.

Dick, can we go home yet?

We've been to eight stores, and I'm about shopping spreeed out.

Technically, it isn't a spree until you've bought at least one item.

Well, okay, Dick. What does this blue thing do?

Oh, that's a biofeedback machine. You'll love this, George.

Just put your fingers in there.

And as I relax, the pitch will go down.

relaxed with this darn nuclear thing hanging over our heads.

Yeah, I kind of like that.

Finally.

Oh, great. It's only $200, George.

Well, I don't think I've ever heard it go that high before.

Hey, aren't you Dick Loudon from Vermont today?

I guess I am.

You're the talk of the town.

that any purchases you make today will have to be cash only.

Wow.

I guess I don't have to ask how the shopping went.

I'll go out and get the rest of the stuff.

There's more?

You really got George to loosen up.

Sort of, yeah.

Sort of?

Yeah, well, sort of. All of these are mine.

I was simply trying to show George how to spend money by example.

Well, while you were busy buying Vermont, did you happen to remember your

Sure, sure I did. I got you this electronic

memo minder.

Oh, it's wonderful, honey.

This will exchange up real nicely.

Fine, J .J.

You know, Dick, I know you and I have had our differences, but down at the

station, we like to think of ourselves as, well, one big family.

We do?

I guess you're sort of like the father of our family.

Maybe because you're kind of older, a bit bossy, not as fun -loving as the

of us.

Anyway, word is, you and the missus are pretty close to living out of a shopping

cart.

So, everyone down at the station took up a collection and bought you some

groceries. Here you go. Enjoy. And remember, ration.

J .J., we're not on the skids.

I know you're a proud man, Dick, and you probably have your own way out of this,

but before you start going after the neighborhood pet... J

.J., take it back.

Dick, do you want me to put your home laser light show with the rest of your

stuff?

That'll be fine, Joe.

Well, it's good to know our charity won't go to waste on a man without a

new laser light show.

Jeez, no wonder you're broke.

It's a sickness. Get help.

learn how to shop if there's nothing on earth left to buy.

George, uh, George, what, something?

Oh, yeah, what?

It's a cable -ready TV monitor, 80 -watt FM receiver, multi -disc CD player,

linear tracking programmable turntable.

I think we'd better get out of here so George can read the manual and learn how

to do things like this.

Oh, boy.

We didn't even stop off for gum.

Ooh,

new suit.

Hey, what else?

George, it's nice of you to take us out to dinner, but Le Clec is very

expensive. Oh, it's okay, Joanne. I've decided Dick's right and I should live a

little. Besides, after about 1 ,400 meals here, I figure I owe you one.

But, George, are you sure you're comfortable with all this?

At first it felt a little strange spending so much money, but Dick told me

warm up to it, and I think I am.

Would you like a new pair of earrings to go with that dress?

That's okay, George. Dinner will be fine.

Here I come.

Ready for another Stephanie Michael portrait?

Every picture frame's dream come true.

Oh, George.

I heard you have money and don't know how to spend it.

Well, I'm here to help.

I'm a perfect size three and my best color is peach.

Stephanie, George is not going to buy you clothes.

Okay, accessories are just as good.

Stephanie. Boy, you're trying to be giving.

Hi, Steph.

Say Bree.

I don't know if I can muster a smile.

What's wrong, sweet Kate?

Joanna says George can never buy me another thing ever, ever again as long

live.

Well, I'm ready. Let's strap on the feedback.

Oh, it seems we've got some fashion competition here.

Even George is going plaidless. What's up?

George invited us to dinner at Le Clec.

Oh, great.

No gifts for Steph, but high -priced yum -yums for them. That's fair.

Well, you could join us for yum -yums if that means you want to eat with us. No,

no, they can't. They have a pressing photo session.

Oh, no problem. That shutterbug can wait.

We'll photograph even better in the afterglow of an expensive meal.

It could cheer me up.

Good news, George. We'll come.

Michael, don't try to weasel your way into a free meal.

That's a great idea, Dick. It's another chance for me to spend even more money.

That's what we're after, right?

You sure that guy works for the restaurant, Dick?

George, you'll get your car back when we leave.

Good evening. Do you have a reservation?

Yes, George Utley.

Utley? Utley.

Thank you. Madame.

Michael, do you see what I see?

I'll take care of it.

Hey, is that who I think it is?

Thank you, Michael.

Bonsoir. I am your maître d 'art, Charles.

My name is George, and this is... Joanna.

And, uh... Daphne.

Michael. George, you don't have to... Dick.

And your head waiter will be Thomas.

Wow!

How do people in France afford to eat?

But I'm glad I'm here.

Tomas? No, I'm Neil.

Tomas? John.

Would you care to begin with a little wine?

Tomas? Elton, your wine steward.

Where the heck is Tomas?

Now bring us a bottle of your best and keep it flowing.

Michael, we're not spending all of George's money in one gulp.

Hey, Dick.

Loosen up. Bring the bottle and keep the rolls flowing, too.

George, that could be a hundred dollar bottle of wine.

Boy, we're really living tonight, aren't we, Dick?

Good evening. I'm Tomas. I'm told there is some rush to order here.

Jeez, he doesn't look at all like I pictured.

This evening, the speciality de la maison is Chateaubriand Beaucoutier with

chanterelle mushrooms and skewered vegetables de Rovichaud.

That sounds good. Is that okay with everybody?

I love a good Chateaubriand.

Would it be possible to get a salad with the special?

Oh, yes, monsieur.

We have a very nice endive salad. Of course, sir, that would be extra.

Endive, huh?

I think I'll...

I'll stick with the French stuff.

Good choice, monsieur.

The French stuff is very good tonight.

George, this is really lovely.

Thank you for taking us out for such a nice evening.

Hey, I'm having a great time.

And I really want to thank Dick for showing me my new, better way of life.

Well, you're welcome, George.

See, that salad really looks good. I think I'll order one. A salad?

You're ordering a salad? What's the matter, Dick?

A special isn't enough for you?

Please, Dick, you're causing a scene.

George, you know, I don't have to order the salad.

Oh, sure.

Wait and go nuts on the dessert tray.

George? Michael?

Everyone's looking at me, and for bad reasons.

Problem, monsieur?

Uh, my friend had a salad tantrum. Oh, I'm sorry, monsieur. The order has

already gone in. You will have to settle your bill before running out.

How much is it?

I'm sorry, monsieur. We are not able to accept the check.

It's all right. I have two pieces of ID.

That is the problem, monsieur Loudon. We know who you are.

Michael, which one is on you?

Um, wait, we shouldn't have to pay for this. We had a verbal agreement with

those people. I'm sorry, monsieur, that is not legally binding.

Well, okay, we'll pay for the food, but there's no reason we should have to pay

for that $100 bottle.

Come in.

I guess I still owe you...

Forget it, George.

Well, I guess I owe you an explanation, too.

No, no. No, you don't.

Of course, I couldn't help wondering.

I'm sorry, Dick.

I tried to enjoy spending money, but it doesn't make me happy the way it does

you. It sort of makes me crazy.

I guess I'm just screwed up, huh, Dick?

You're okay, George. As bizarre as it may sound, you just weren't cut out for

life of excess.

But everyone told me I should spend my money if I wanted to be happy.

Everybody was wrong.

That was mainly you, Dick.

Well, then I was wrong.

Come on, Dick, you're never wrong.

I was wrong about this.

Who'd have thought you'd ever be wrong about anything?

There's always a first time for everything.

Gosh, Dick Loudon was wrong.

All right, George.

The point is that it's all right to not spend money if there's absolutely

nothing that you want.

Well, actually, there's something I sort of want, but it's kind of silly.

Nothing you really want could be silly, George.

I want a jungle gym, Dick.

You might want to keep that to yourself, George.

It's not for me, Dick. It's for the playground at Vickers Park.

All the equipment's rusted and falling apart. I thought it'd be nice for the

kids to have it all shiny and new, like when I was little.

Maybe they could even have a stage where they could act out the movies.

George, I think that's a great use for your money.

Gee, Dick, but you're always wrong.

I'm not wrong about this.

Great, I finally got what I really want.

And this.

But, George, most of them are in boxes. We can return them tomorrow.

The home entertainment center isn't in a box, Dick.

You know, George, since it is partially my fault that you bought this,

you know, it's only...

Only fair that I take this state -of -the -art baby off your hands.

Gosh, you're the best.

Gee, Dick, does it have to be a check?

I'm sorry I got mad at you before, but everyone made me realize it wasn't you

talking. It was the disease.

The whole town got together and took up a collection to help you in your time of

need.

To Dick Loudon, the richest man in town.

Will you stop?

And listen to me. This is all very nice of you, but we have money, lots of

money. We don't need any of yours.

So please take this and go back to your homes.

Okay. Have it your way.

Just better hope you never need our help.

Meow.