Original subtitles

Mayor Dodds, isn't it true that you plan to support the development of Stony

Ridge Woods?

Nope. Oh.

Good.

I just support cutting down all the trees and selling the lumber.

Mayor Dodds, we elected you because you promised not to do anything.

Yeah.

Now, Chester, I don't think I need to stand up here and point out how little

I've done.

We all have something to gain here.

The Stony Ridge Project will bring in lots of revenue and some of the most fun

people in the world.

Loggers!

I'm Dick Loudon. My wife and I own the Stratford Inn, and a lot of the tourists

who stay there come up here for the foliage.

You can't have foliage without trees.

I disagree!

Maybe you people don't appreciate the beauty of this area, but my wife and I

from New York, and they've cut down all the trees there.

Tourists still come to New York, don't they, Dick?

Not for trees.

Aha! So you don't need trees for tourists.

Thank you for pointing that out, Dick.

Jim and I used to play in those woods when we were kids.

You're not just cutting down trees, you're cutting down memories.

Chester, aren't memories even more precious when you're remembering

that's gone?

Boy, this guy's good.

I think it's time I spoke up.

I'm George Utley. I've lived in this town all my life. I went to school at

Ashton Elementary.

I disagree.

Gee, I never got static on that before.

Well, if no one has anything else to say, this meeting is now... Excuse me.

Hi, I'm Larry.

This is my brother, Daryl. And this is my other brother, Daryl.

We used to live in them woods, and they wouldn't be the same without trees.

I mean, where are the birds gonna park it?

They're gonna drive away your robins, your crows.

Your metal art. Sir.

I believe I have the floor.

Your blue jays. Your sparrows. And let's not forget your finches.

The most tasty of them all.

Well, meeting adjourned.

Uh, I do hope you'll all remember the name Dodds when you're voting two weeks

from Tuesday.

We gotta find somebody to run against Mayor Dodds. Yeah, I nominate... Hey,

Chester. Jim. Oh, come on. You were mayor once before and you were great.

You didn't do a thing.

Thanks.

But I promised my wife I wouldn't run again.

Keeping things from happening can take over your life.

You think Joanna would let you run for mayor?

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm much too busy.

Too bad. You'd have made a good one. I disagree.

Isn't she adorable?

The cutest thing I've ever seen.

I'm coming downstairs now, but you can keep talking about me if you want to.

Get ready for the biggest awe yet.

Oh.

A cute, adorable, attention -grabbing puppy.

Oh, she's so cuddly and soft.

And such pretty color. Not unlike my new sweater.

It's cute, Steph.

Look at those eyes.

Does a person have to have a wet nose to get some attention around here?

Look at that little wet nose.

Michael!

Is that cuddly little creature yours? And what's its life expectancy?

This is Juliet, my friend Bruce's dog. I'm taking care of her while he looks

an apartment in New York.

Oh, isn't that nice?

Well, if we're going to get to the movies, you better stick her in a drawer

something.

Change of plan, Senorita Bonita.

I thought we'd go on a shopping spree instead.

They're having a squeak toy spectacular at the house of Bow Wow.

I want to go to the vet's and buy some vitamins, and I'll have to buy some

newspaper so she can stay on top of current events.

Michael, I'm not interested in doing any of those things.

Oh, fine. Well, I'll call you tonight, and I'll tell you all about it.

Boy, that sure is a cute puppy. Shut up, George.

I guess I had that coming.

Hi. I'm Larry. I know.

You're Larry, Daryl, and Daryl. Right.

We'd like to talk to your husband if he's decent.

Of course, Daryl here don't care either way.

Dear?

Hi, guys. What can I do for you?

We're here today as three of the great unwashed.

Really?

We got to do something about saving Stony Ridge Woods.

What we have to find is someone who'll run against Mayor Dodds.

I've called everybody in town and no one wants to run.

Okay, I'll do it.

Larry, you're not suggesting that...

That you run for mayor. You said no one else would do it.

There's got to be someone I haven't called.

Why bother?

You agreed with everything I said at the meeting last night, didn't you? Yeah,

except maybe which bird is the tastiest.

The point is, I don't think you'd stand a chance of winning.

I got a better chance of getting votes than if nobody ran.

Maybe.

That's all I need to hear. Come on, Daryl. Let's get our tools.

I read somewhere a candidate should put together a platform.

Dick, is it true Larry, Daryl, and Daryl are running for mayor?

Don't be silly. Just Larry.

Well, we found somebody else to run against Mayor Dodds. Yeah, somebody who

shaves.

Me. Great.

So, Dick, do I have your endorsement? With all the influence that goes with

Want to hear my slogan?

Sure. Vote for Chester for mayor.

Catchy. I wrote it.

Well, thanks for your endorsement, Dick. Oh, and what's our battle cry?

Vote for Chester for mayor.

It's like a Cole Porter lyric.

Juliet, wherefore art thou, Juliet?

Oh, what a cute puppy.

My name is Juliet.

Smart, too.

Here, Dick, score some points with this.

This is almost too easy.

Cujo's back.

Steph, great news. My friend Bruce found an apartment.

Oh, well, goodbye, Juliet. I'll never forget you.

You bet you won't, Steph. That's the good news. The landlord won't let him

pets, so Juliet is mine forever.

Oh, these are glad tidings.

Don't you think we should have discussed this first?

I'm sorry, Steph. I couldn't help it. Just like I couldn't help getting this.

Oh, Michael!

It's beautiful.

Wait till you see what it looks like on.

Say hello to Juliet Harris.

Michael.

I've kept my feelings to myself.

But I refuse to share your affections with this flea circus.

Now you have a choice to make.

Fur or flesh.

Whoa.

Torn between two mammals.

Hi. I'm candidate Larry.

I recognize everybody.

my campaign slogan.

Larry, there's something... If anyone's still straddling the fence after that,

we got these.

Larry and Dick Loudon, two men, one mind.

Larry, I think that should be two men of one mind.

Oh, I wish you'd said something earlier.

Daryl, looks like you're going to have to spend the rest of the day chasing

cars.

Hold it, hold it.

Guys, that won't be necessary.

Chester Wanamaker has decided to run for mayor, and since he feels the same way

we do about the woods, now that he's running, you can drop out of the race.

No way.

I got a better chance to win than him.

I got something he ain't never going to have.

Your endorsement.

Uh, Larry?

What I'm trying to say is I've given Chester my endorsement. Well, okay.

But it kind of dilutes the significance if you endorse the both of us.

Larry, I only endorsed him. I never endorsed you.

One day in politics and already I've been stabbed in the back.

It's just that I have this crazy feeling that...

Chester has a better chance of winning.

Why? Well, a mayor has to inspire confidence. He has to be a skilled

administrator. He has to understand the intricacies of running a community.

That's me in a nutshell.

Larry, drop out of the race.

No, sir.

Them woods was my home, and no one can defend them better than me.

Larry, you're just going to get hurt.

How can anything hurt worse than a knife in the back?

Come on, Daryl. Let's go shake some babies.

Kiss babies.

Sure. Set us up for another fall.

Hi, George.

Chester. Thanks for helping me with my speech deck, especially for the opening

joke.

What opening joke?

Oh, at the meet the candidates debate tonight, Chester is going to say, ladies

and gentlemen, I've come here tonight to ask for your support.

Not that I couldn't stand up without it.

Chester?

I'll catch him before he goes on.

Did you tell the joke right or is it just not funny?

George, it's hard for me to help Chester when I have all this guilt about Larry.

I feel like I betrayed him.

Hi, I'm Larry.

Vote for Larry.

Save the trees.

Don't stay at Stratford Inn.

Apparently he feels the same way. He'll probably never talk to me again.

It sounds like you're going to miss Larry.

Not miss, miss.

You know, it's like when you have a mole removed, you know?

You never really wanted it, but you kind of missed the bump.

I've got my puppy, but is my kitten around?

I hate to answer a question like that, but Stephanie's upstairs.

Steph! Oh, we're going to meet the candidate debate tonight. Are you and

Stephanie going?

What am I saying?

Michael, I thought I told you not to come back until you dumped the other

Don't worry, Steph, she's...

She's got one paw out the door as we speak.

I'm passing flyers around the neighborhood trying to find her a home,

could just watch her for a while.

You're leaving her here?

Steph, I can't take her with me.

I think she knows what's going on.

Michael! Bye, girls.

Michael!

Look, I've got things to do, so just sit there and... Keep your yap shut.

Don't give me that look.

I invented it.

And you're doing it wrong.

It goes like this.

Look, just play with your silly toy and stop bothering me.

Oh, do I have to do everything?

Come on, Juliet.

Oh, you like that, huh?

I'll bet you think I'm going to do it again.

his part. I think it's high time we did ours.

Thank you. Thank you.

George. Oh, sorry.

Boy, that guy can really tamper with your mind.

Good evening. I'm Chester Wanamaker.

Dick Loudon wrote me a real funny opening joke, but he told me not to tell

The survival of Stony Ridge Woods is at stake.

Now, I know money is important to all of us. I disagree.

Well, it's important to the rest of us.

But I, for one, would rather have the green of the leaf than the green of the

dollar.

Ditto. Ditto.

Daryl thinks I should expand on that.

Daryl and I used to have a business called Anything for a Book.

Well, there's some things you don't do for twice that amount.

You don't... destroy things that are beautiful.

If you keep developing the land, you lose what drew people to it in the first

place.

Some things can't be improved upon.

Things like the first sound a baby makes.

Things like Daryl's fettuccine Alfredo.

And Stony Ridge Woods.

The men upstairs will take care of them babies.

Daryl will keep an eye on that fettuccine.

But it's up to us to protect them woods.

You know what I like about you?

You're so down to earth.

And how many candidates aren't afraid to say, I don't know?

I don't know.

I guess you heard the election results.

What makes you think so? We ain't partying yet, are we?

Well, who won?

Larry.

Wait a minute. He didn't win.

He didn't?

Chester won.

Well, does that count absentee ballots?

I'm real big with servicemen overseas.

It's over.

Darn. But the woods were saved, and I think your speech had something to do

it. Which one?

Ditto or the wordy one?

Probably a combination.

But I think you campaigned admirably.

Except for shaking a few babies.

Well, what was the vote anyway?

Gee, I don't know.

Exactly.

Something like 419 to

321 to around five.

Well, is that second place fellow in this room?

How around five was it?

Three.

Three? Just a second. You voted for me, and I voted for me.

Benedict Darrell here.

Whichever one of you it is, I guess blood isn't as thick as your head.

Larry, one more vote wouldn't have put you over the top.

I guess that's it.

People have jeered.

What if I've only got three votes? Is there something wrong with me?

It's just that you have this certain image that for some reason

Didn't fit with Mayor.

What is my image?

I think people think of you as more a restaurateur.

Oh, you want a burger? No.

I, on the other hand, think of you as a... Yes?

A friend.

I guess I wanted something after all.

I guess that's it. I guess it's time for my concession speech.

Hi, I lost.

Okay, let's party.

Look at that.

Even in defeat.

Honest, direct, concise.

I say we really missed out.

Bad news, Steph.

My friend Bruce found an apartment. No!

Yes, they take pets.

Bruce picked Juliet up about half an hour ago. And you just let her go?

Steph, my heart's already been ripped into kibbles and bits.

You've got to look on the bright side. No more walking her three times a day.

No more getting fur all over my dress.

And best of all, we've still got each other.

Oh, Michael.