All language subtitles for Newhart s03e15 Lady in Wading

Thank you, Dr. Patterson, for that
insight into Eastern New Guinea tribal

customs.

And join us next week on Vermont Today.

And we're clear.

Super show, Dr.

Patterson. You'll be back real soon.
Make plans.

Let's take her card right out of the
Rolodex.

I thought you liked the show. Well, I
wish you'd downplay that cannibalism

and push the vacation getaway angle.

Well, I think people should know if
their vacations are going to be one way.

Dick, are you going to be hanging around
for a while?

Yeah, Joanna's meeting me here, and then
we're going for dinner. Why?

Wade Northlander's here eyeballing the
place.

Who's Wade Northlander? El Capitan of
industry.

He's been buying up small -time
operations like this and really turning

around. I think you two should meet.

Is he going to buy this station?

Doubtful. But he might spot some talent
that's ready to move on to one of his

bigger markets, like Boston.

Why, I don't think I want to leave
Vermont.

Actually, I was referring to me.

Uh -oh, here he comes. Load me in the
catapult. Next stop, Beantown.

Michael, Transmitting Tower looks okay,
but I think that the law requires that

you have a real beacon up there, not a
flashlight.

Did I tell you he was sharp?

Wait, I'd like you to meet Dick Loudon.
Yes, I caught some of your show. You're

a very solid interviewer. Thank you.

Michael, would you get me an inventory
of the station's equipment?

I'll have to burn some midnight oil, but
no news there.

Hi, honey.

Hi, Michael.

I'm ready. Can we sneak out early like
last week?

Cupcake, you know I'm always here late
into the night, nose to the grindstone,

right, Dick? Yeah, that's what keeps it
from growing.

Wade, this is Dick's lovely wife,
Joanna, and my own personal wonder

Stephanie. Hello. Ladies, this is Wade
Northlander, an antitrust suit waiting

happen. Nice to meet you. Pleasure. Mike
Langley, use your phone. The one in my

briefcase is on the blink. Oh, I hate
when that happens.

Lampshops, spit in my face and call me
Cootie.

I can't make our date.

Death in the family?

Much more important, career move.

This is a man who owns stations in
places that have mass transit.

If things go well, I'll have more money
to throw away on you than ever. You can

sweet -talk me out of anything.

We'll do it tomorrow. That's a double
-cross -the -heart promise.

Okay.

Well, then I guess I'm free to tag along
with you guys.

Oh, boy.

Well, I'm going to take off. Can anybody
recommend a nice place to eat?

Oh, the Hanover Inn is excellent. It's
kind of expensive.

I'll give it a try.

Dining alone, I won't hear of it. I
insist they join you. Oh, great.

It's on me. No, no, no, no. The station
won't hear of it.

Dick Street.

What? Well, thanks, Dick.

Shall we go?

Well, look at it this way, Dick. If you
spend the whole evening talking about

me, you can write it off as a business
expense.

Two's company, three's a blank.

Five letters.

How's the crossword puzzle coming,
George?

Slow.

But this is one time I'm not going to
give up.

Two's company, three's a blank.

Three's a blank, blank, blank, blank,
blank.

I don't get it.

George, it's a famous saying.

Two's company, three's a... Bunch!

Okay, it fits.

Thanks.

But no more hints after this, okay?

But George... Honey, he wants to do it
himself.

Opposite of poor.

Poor letters.

Opposite of... Poor.

Rich!

Nah, that's too easy.

Must be a trick.

I wonder what's keeping Stephanie and
Wade.

Honey, I'm sure it's nothing to be
worried about. I'm not worried. It's

that they said they wanted to stay and
have dessert. That was two hours ago.

Well, I'm sure they only hung around
to...

See what the busboys look like in their
street clothes.

That must be it.

Hi -ho.

Step still up or do I have to go
upstairs and wake her, he said with a

lascivious wink.

She's not up there. Well, point away.

I bought a little peace offering for
standing her up tonight.

Donuts. You're gonna spoil her.

Is she in the kitchen? Not really.

Well, I'm stumped.

She's still at the restaurant with Wade.

What? They decided this day for dessert.

When was this?

Oh, uh, 45 minutes, maybe two hours ago.

I can't believe I brought these donuts
over here. Now, Michael... That lady

deserves eclairs.

She does?

I never even had to tell her to cozy up
to Wade. She just knew.

It's like the day we were...

Both walking through the housewares
department at Hanson's and we both went

bonkers over the same shrimp forks.

I mean, are our souls super glued
together or what?

Well, it sure sounds like it.

Well, I'd better hit the road. Don't
just hand these to her. Make kind of a

production out of it.

You're going to have to do the
production without me because I'm going

Because if I don't, I'm going to eat one
of those.

Good night, honey.

Let's see.

Expression of extreme anxiety.

Eight letters.

Oh, I got that one.

Holy cow.

Yeah, that's what people say when
they're upset.

George, it's an eight -letter word. Holy
cow is only seven letters.

Oh, expression of extreme anxiety.

Holy cows?

George, have you ever heard anyone say
that before?

No, but I never heard the expression
three's a bunch before either.

It's right there in the puzzle.

Good night, George.

Well, if you're going to turn in, I
might as well take this back to the

Six letters describing a pig's foot.

Smelly.

Have a fun evening.

You really are a unique girl.

I know.

And it's hard to be that when you have
to buy off the rack.

Then I'll see you tomorrow night.

I have a date with Michael.

Oh.

Then would you be interested in flying
with me down to Martha's Vineyard for

weekend?

I really couldn't get away.

First class?

My own private chat.

Oh.

I was beginning to think I'd never hear
those words again.

Then it's a date?

No. No.

It sounds nice, but, you know, Michael
is sort of my steady.

I mean, we're not engaged or anything,
but we do have

a very strong relationship.

One time we both saw these shrimp forks
at Hanson.

I'll call you.

I'll answer.

We're cows.

Dick, I just can't go to bed until I
have one of those donuts.

Aren't you going to stop me?

I just saw Wade and Stephanie kissing.

That did it.

A serious kiss?

Remember the scene in Poltergeist where
everything got sucked into the closet?

It was a lot like that.

Oh, dear.

Maybe you should talk to Michael. Or
Stephanie.

No way.

Why not?

Honey, when I was in college, I saw my
roommate's fiancée, Susie, go out with

another guy, and like a fool, I told
her.

You did the right thing.

No, I didn't, because Susie denied
everything and my roommate accused me of

causing trouble because I wanted her for
myself.

Did you?

That's not the point.

The point is, they got married anyway
and they never forgave me and the guy I

saw her with put poison ivy in my
shorts.

And ever since then, I made it a strict
rule that I would never meddle in other

people's relationships.

Honey, that was...

You're in the real world now.

Yeah, and Wade is real powerful and real
rich, and he probably owns a whole

poison ivy plantation of his own.

Joanna? Yes?

Never mind.

Stephanie?

Could you hand me that bowl?

Last night, Wade gave me a kiss so hot
it could melt lips, and I gave it right

back.

I didn't mean to pry.

Life is so unfair.

Why couldn't I have met Wade first?

Now I have all these stupid feelings for
Michael.

Okay, come on. Let's talk about it. What
are your feelings for Michael?

When I'm with him, I'm warm, I'm
comfortable, I feel loved.

And when he crinkles his nose at me, it
cracks the pain on my toenails.

Okay.

What about Wade?

Well, when I'm with Wade, he's rich.

But how do you feel about him?

I feel good that he's rich.

Well, good night, Dick. If anybody needs
me, I'll be at a little place called

the Stratford Inn. So you have a date
with Stephanie tonight? Yes, I want to

show my gratitude for what she did with
Wade last night.

I think the donuts were more than
enough.

Michael, Michael, you're not leaving,
are you?

Oh, well, I'm in this Big Brother
program.

Well, go ahead. I just needed some
figures, and I wanted my personnel

Chicago to see a sample of your work.

What the heck? The kid's gone this long
without a father.

What do you need? Your audience growth
projections for the next five years.

Ouch.

That'll take most of the night.

Thanks.

I'll bring them by your hotel when I'm
finished.

Don't bother.

I think I have a date tonight.

All right, wait.

Break a heart.

Boy, Dick, I don't envy me.

Axing two dates in a row.

Make room for one more mutt in the
doghouse.

Steph! Michael.

Bad news.

I'm back on Dawn Patrol.

What is it?

Well, can't we discuss it now?

Okay.

Night -night, bye -bye.

Dick, did Steph say anything to you
today?

No. No, why?

She says she has something she wants to
discuss with me. In person?

Sounds serious.

I mean, when she doesn't respond at
night -night, bye -bye.

Well, maybe it's my imagination.

Michael, I have this very strict rule
about never getting involved in people's

relationships, but I'm going to bend it
slightly, just this once, and then

you're on your own.

I really think you ought to... You ought
to see Stephanie tonight.

No can do, Dick.

Let me say one more thing.

If you don't see Stephanie tonight,
problems could arise.

Read you, Dick.

But I never saw a case of the pouts a
dozen long stems couldn't cure.

I'm going to bend my rule.

A tiny bit further.

Stephanie and Wade had a really good
time last night.

So you're saying, since she did me a
favor, I... I saw them kissing.

Serious kissing. A full mouthful kiss.

Wow.

I'm sorry.

What am I going to do?

I don't stand a chance against a rich,
successful guy like Wade.

Michael, you have other things going
with Stephanie that Wade doesn't.

Example stick.

When you went bonkers over the same
shrimp forks.

Yeah.

Well, that's all I need, Dick.

I'm going to fight for my woman.

I'm going to give Wade a verbal
thrashing he won't soon forget.

And he can just guess about those
audience projections.

Joanna?

Yes? I've got an answer here I'm not
sure of.

Have you ever seen that word before?

Nivrictum? That's not right, is it?

I don't think so.

I'm never going to get this thing done.
I'm just going to give up. Oh, George.

Okay.

What I mean is sometimes it helps to put
things aside for a little while.

Like for a couple of days? Or even
longer.

Can I help you? Yes, I'm here to see
Stephanie.

For what?

I'm taking her out.

But that's what Michael does.

Michael's working.

Oh. I'll tell her you're here. Thank
you.

Stephanie, your date's here and it isn't
Michael!

Listen, no offense, but as the saying
goes, two's company, three's a crowd.

It does?

Two's company, three's a crowd?

Hey, Joanne, I guess what?

Hi, Wade.

Stephanie, you look terrific.

Thank you. No, I mean it. The hair, the
dress, the necklace. Look, Wade, I know

it all worked.

Something wrong?

I'm sorry.

I've just been having a nervous
breakdown.

I made a difficult decision and I think
we should talk.

Can't wait.

If we don't leave right now, we won't
make our reservations at Lutece.

Lutece?

That's in New York.

Only 55 minutes away.

Via Air Northlander.

Oh.

Oh, but wait.

Couldn't we just sit down for a minute?

How about in the limo? It's right
outside.

A limo?

A silver stretch.

But really, wait.

Champagne's chilling.

And there's a full moon up above those
clouds.

20 feet.

Just stop it!

Look! Whatever was between us is over.

Are you serious?

What about last night?

Last night I was caught up in the
moment.

The words private jet always make me
lightheaded.

I'm sorry.

I'm sure someday you'll meet another
perfect girl.

Northlander! Michael!

Hi, Steph. Great dress.

Listen, Northlander, Dick just filled me
in on your sneaky little scheme, and

I'm seriously miffed.

Are you? You are nothing but a high
-living lowlife, and I never want to see

again. Unless, of course, it's in a
professional capacity, in which case I'd

honored to work by your side.

Go to hell with it.

Listen, Northlander, I want you to keep
away from my girl.

That is, if you still are my girl.

I certainly am.

All right.

For your information, Stephanie was
about ready to break it off with me when

barged in.

Oh?

You mean I just shot my career in the
foot for nothing?

Bingo.

Well, who cares?

I wouldn't work with you now, even if
the possibility of a job still existed,

which it definitely does not, right?

Right. Good.

Take a hike, Northlander.

I never hike.

I limo.

And I wing.

That

man could

have given me everything I ever wanted.

Me too.

for me, needlessly.

You chose me over a millionaire?

How come?

Well, I kept picturing myself in Wade's
yacht, Wade's limo,

Wade's jet.

And I looked perfect.

But it was always you sitting next to
me.

I'm misting up here.

I guess when you come right down to it,
Money and power aren't as important as

love.

Besides, someday you'll be just as rich
as Wade.

Right? With you by my side, I'd better.

Meow.